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Don't enjoy Holiday season . Advice ?
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So ,here's the thing . I just don't like it or want anything to do with it .This time if the year just makes me heavily depressed for reasons I'm not going into on here . Safe to say the sickly false happiness out there makes me feel ill
I am thinking about avoidance tactics or ways to simply ignore it . Someone else has beaten me to volunteer at work or I woukd do that .
What would you do to avoid all the holiday false smiles and lies ? |
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Go away somewhere quiet, a holiday cottage or something like that. Or just stay home for a couple of days and watch stuff on Amazon prime that had nothing to do with the holiday.
It is difficult to avoid I agree. I'm fed up of the adverts already |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Firstly, just because you don't enjoy it doesn't make it false for others.
As others have said take yourself away elsewhere. You aren't going to avoid it in this country. It's a big part of our culture. Sometimes things are best just dealt with head on. Confront the issues that make it a bad time for you otherwise you're going to have the same issues every year. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's hard to avoid OP I share your pain. Going away is best.
However, you can gather a bunch of other unfortunates (we use the term Christmas orphans) and plan a day or two together. Turn the TV and radio off.
Last year I did a tour of popping in to see people, some with family and some without. I walked (miles), kept busy and could make excuses and leave when I needed to. I recommend that option too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've spent more than one Christmas day alone in recent years and it's remarkably painless. I haven't missed any of the stuff you're supposed to look forward to. I've cooked some food I love and had a party where no one is invited except me. I've made sure I've got stuff to distract me, TV, sport, music... Whatever blows your hair back. I've known people who've chosen to spend it alone and turned down invitations by making up fictitious engagements. People get all squinky if you're going to be alone, they can't accept you just want to be. Before you know it boxing day is here, it's all over and divorce lawyers have their busiest time of year. It's nothing and it's only hyped up to make money. |
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You can not avoid Xmas sadly so you will need to learn to cope with it rather than run away from it. Why not do some charity work over the festive season. There are plenty of organisations looking for volunteers. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been away more than once. Have also volunteered which is a great distraction. These days I work on boxing day and Christmas day I shut myself away with a new book or 2, some non-festive TV and cook a nice meal. Works for me. |
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Stop thinking of a capitalist opportunity to sell , sell, sell is the root of your misery.
Find the real cause.
I wish you happiness.
It can't be the season or other people.
Sometimes it's best to look inside.
Have a great winter n I hope sunnier days are ahead for you xx Tashi Delek x |
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"I've spent more than one Christmas day alone in recent years and it's remarkably painless. I haven't missed any of the stuff you're supposed to look forward to. I've cooked some food I love and had a party where no one is invited except me. I've made sure I've got stuff to distract me, TV, sport, music... Whatever blows your hair back. I've known people who've chosen to spend it alone and turned down invitations by making up fictitious engagements. People get all squinky if you're going to be alone, they can't accept you just want to be. Before you know it boxing day is here, it's all over and divorce lawyers have their busiest time of year. It's nothing and it's only hyped up to make money. "
Very much this. If you select your media carefully, use headphones when out and about and don't look at the decorations, you can get by with just a few pleasantries. Christmas alone can be blissfully peaceful.
It's not compulsory. |
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Thanks . The adverts I'm struggling with as I think unnecessary so early but not half as much as visiting people who have decorations and a tree up over a week ago !
On a ' green' front that's really not a good idea . |
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We are going to walk the dogs over the chase or down the canal to Shugborough then have curry (bought night before). It’s not that we don’t like Christmas - we love it!! - but family dynamics make it difficult so we do it differently. We’ll be having a big lunch with T’s family on 26th for his parents wedding anniversary with ours a few days later.
Do you have any friends in a similar situation? Maybe do something together?
J x |
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Well I would have to disagree but don't want an argument . It has to be the most utterly false time of the whole calendar ? Capitalism at its best/ worst and just too many people pretending to be happy that said I don't wish I'll on anyone and hope they enjoy the season the way they like to  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've spent more than one Christmas day alone in recent years and it's remarkably painless. I haven't missed any of the stuff you're supposed to look forward to. I've cooked some food I love and had a party where no one is invited except me. I've made sure I've got stuff to distract me, TV, sport, music... Whatever blows your hair back. I've known people who've chosen to spend it alone and turned down invitations by making up fictitious engagements. People get all squinky if you're going to be alone, they can't accept you just want to be. Before you know it boxing day is here, it's all over and divorce lawyers have their busiest time of year. It's nothing and it's only hyped up to make money.
Very much this. If you select your media carefully, use headphones when out and about and don't look at the decorations, you can get by with just a few pleasantries. Christmas alone can be blissfully peaceful.
It's not compulsory. "
I do have a tree because I'm a complete sucker for glittery things and coloured lights. My house is full of coloured lights all year round. My son asks me to put it up, not cos he wants it there, he goes to stay with his father. But he knows I love it and it makes me happy. |
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"We are going to walk the dogs over the chase or down the canal to Shugborough then have curry (bought night before). It’s not that we don’t like Christmas - we love it!! - but family dynamics make it difficult so we do it differently. We’ll be having a big lunch with T’s family on 26th for his parents wedding anniversary with ours a few days later.
Do you have any friends in a similar situation? Maybe do something together?
J x "
Good suggestions .I normally take the dogs up to the chase. It's really quiet up there at lunchtime in Christmas day I can tell you that .
Christmas curry now that's an idea !
Thanks
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"Get to the bottom of why Christmas depresses you.
Be happy for those who celebrate and enjoy it.
"
Hmm a bit unhelpful as far as my emotions go . I know exactly why I can't enjoy it due to the way I have lived my life and the carnage it left . So a nice reminder thanks!
Regarding the logic . It's capitalism at its worst forcing people into debt by pandering to the whims of so called progress and advancements in technology
It is falsee painted in pained smiles and just a season of lies people tell eachother to make them feel better about the awful state that a lot of them are in . It is also adults who want to pretend to be kids again when their world's were much happier and didn't have the problems they do now in it .
Course that's just my opinion and explains in part why I don't enjoy it .
Enjoy. |
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There's obviously a much deeper reason behind your hatred of Xmas which will be to long to go into on fab
I think you've got a few options but at the end of the day it's your life and you need to do what's good for you.
A, go to a country which doesn't celebrate Xmas which is taking it to far
B,talk to a doctor as there's possibly a much deeper routed issue that with help could see you get through Xmas without hiding away
C, lots of soup kitchens and other places that need volunteers but if you're visiting other peoples homes it's likely you'll come across Xmas.
Are there old people in your street, locality that just need company over the Xmas period to take your mind off it.
It's difficult but still possible to have Xmas without all the falseness and commercial side of it(I manage to)
I buy people presents that they use year on year rather than useless Chinese plastic toys of elves that sing Xmas songs.
And my mum who is ill likes to be with family over Xmas so I'd feel like a knob if I went abroad and left her alone.
Good luck but running away isn't the answer imo but we're all different |
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"Get to the bottom of why Christmas depresses you.
Be happy for those who celebrate and enjoy it.
"
Why should anyone have to enjoy Christmas? Why can't people just do their own thing?
I usually enjoy Christmas, but to each their own. I'd much rather a person quietly avoiding it than someone shoving cheer down my throat. |
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I’m going to the Emirates next week for some sunshine. Coming back and spending minimal time needed for family and then buggering off to France until it all blows over.
Not my favourite time of year. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Get to the bottom of why Christmas depresses you.
Be happy for those who celebrate and enjoy it.
Hmm a bit unhelpful as far as my emotions go . I know exactly why I can't enjoy it due to the way I have lived my life and the carnage it left . So a nice reminder thanks!
Regarding the logic . It's capitalism at its worst forcing people into debt by pandering to the whims of so called progress and advancements in technology
It is falsee painted in pained smiles and just a season of lies people tell eachother to make them feel better about the awful state that a lot of them are in . It is also adults who want to pretend to be kids again when their world's were much happier and didn't have the problems they do now in it .
Course that's just my opinion and explains in part why I don't enjoy it .
Enjoy. "
It's not like that for everyone though. Some of us enjoy it, buy small gifts and enjoy time off work. |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
Welsh Lass |
"I’m going to the Emirates next week for some sunshine. Coming back and spending minimal time needed for family and then buggering off to France until it all blows over.
Not my favourite time of year. "
Have a lovely time  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Get to the bottom of why Christmas depresses you.
Be happy for those who celebrate and enjoy it.
Why should anyone have to enjoy Christmas? Why can't people just do their own thing?
I usually enjoy Christmas, but to each their own. I'd much rather a person quietly avoiding it than someone shoving cheer down my throat. "
Not everyone has the force fed idea of perfection. At Christmas you end up almost feeling guilty about that .
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"Get to the bottom of why Christmas depresses you.
Be happy for those who celebrate and enjoy it.
Why should anyone have to enjoy Christmas? Why can't people just do their own thing?
I usually enjoy Christmas, but to each their own. I'd much rather a person quietly avoiding it than someone shoving cheer down my throat.
Not everyone has the force fed idea of perfection. At Christmas you end up almost feeling guilty about that .
"
Indeed. But, do what you want as long as it doesn't bother anyone else, I feel. If that means blotting Christmas out except for pleasantries, rock on. |
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"I’m going to the Emirates next week for some sunshine. Coming back and spending minimal time needed for family and then buggering off to France until it all blows over.
Not my favourite time of year.
Have a lovely time "
Thank you |
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Christmas is not for everyone for many reasons.
It’s the one time of the year everyone seems to make a fuss, then questions those that aren’t doing the normal, making it an even more uncomfortable time.
As you have to the right to celebrate and be merry, be respectful to those that find this time of year hard.
OP I hope you find a happy medium for the day to pass you by. Personally, I unplug the phone, throw on a boxset and have a curry.
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By *DW1983Man
over a year ago
Aberdeen, Leeds, Sheffield |
Maybe we should organise a Fab Christmas Day meetup for those who are lonely or just don't want to be Christmassy, just go for a long walk, or some other wholesome activity?
I myself like the *idea* of Christmas, love the Christmas markets and all that, but would rather just have a nice dinner, without all the forced happiness, the stress of buying presents when I have no idea what to buy, or being given presents that I don't really need, as nice as they inevitably are. In the past, I've been in a position where I could claim I couldn't make it "home" (i.e. to my parents') on Christmas day because of shift patterns on the 24 and 26th, my new job has an "enforced holiday" over the Christmas-New Year week, so no excuse now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe we should organise a Fab Christmas Day meetup for those who are lonely or just don't want to be Christmassy, just go for a long walk, or some other wholesome activity?
I myself like the *idea* of Christmas, love the Christmas markets and all that, but would rather just have a nice dinner, without all the forced happiness, the stress of buying presents when I have no idea what to buy, or being given presents that I don't really need, as nice as they inevitably are. In the past, I've been in a position where I could claim I couldn't make it "home" (i.e. to my parents') on Christmas day because of shift patterns on the 24 and 26th, my new job has an "enforced holiday" over the Christmas-New Year week, so no excuse now. "
This is pretty much exactly how I feel. I ADORE Christmas markets, I love the decorations, I even love the food, I love everything in a Christmas dinner. But I don't like stress and obligation, I don't want it and I don't like seeing it impact on others. I love being with my parents any time but they don't really want to do the big day either. Last year I was with my bf and I think I cooked a steak. |
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We don't do christmas, we buy what we need all year round and birthdays are special here. For christmas we do have the meal because my kids want that.
I don't think all the happiness is fake, people do enjoy giving and recieving gifts and stuffing their faces with tasty food usually, but i've no doubt some people are stressing about christmas because they can't afford it or might be missing a loved one or just have bad memories from this time of year. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There's obviously a much deeper reason behind your hatred of Xmas which will be to long to go into on fab
I think you've got a few options but at the end of the day it's your life and you need to do what's good for you.
A, go to a country which doesn't celebrate Xmas which is taking it to far
B,talk to a doctor as there's possibly a much deeper routed issue that with help could see you get through Xmas without hiding away
C, lots of soup kitchens and other places that need volunteers but if you're visiting other peoples homes it's likely you'll come across Xmas.
Are there old people in your street, locality that just need company over the Xmas period to take your mind off it.
It's difficult but still possible to have Xmas without all the falseness and commercial side of it(I manage to)
I buy people presents that they use year on year rather than useless Chinese plastic toys of elves that sing Xmas songs.
And my mum who is ill likes to be with family over Xmas so I'd feel like a knob if I went abroad and left her alone.
Good luck but running away isn't the answer imo but we're all different"
I don't think taking steps to avoid a time that someone recognises as emotionally and mentally draining is running away. Its called self care.
I sometimes think that as a society we have come so far with mental health and then I see a dismissive comment like that effectively calling the OP a coward and realise that perhaps we haven't |
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Hi OP I'm on a similar page to you when it comes to Christmas for various reasons.
Mainly though if you've seen someone getting battered every Christmas as a kid and then been expected to sit with false smiles and force your lovely Christmas meal down , the hypocrisy of it kind of sticks in your throat.
I try to make Christmas ok now as I have a kid of my own,but prior to having kids I'd quite happily work Xmas day, or choose to spend it alone (no tv) and let it pass me by.
The year before last I volunteered at a community centre and that was good as was rushed off my feet and didn't have much time to dwell.
I think a lot of people feel pressured into celebrating/enduring Xmas when they really don't want to.
The overspending just for the sake of it horrifies me, and the tat people are suckered into buying just because they feel like they should is just unnecessary.
The whole thing just makes me queasy.
Dont feel guilty for opting out OP.
I much prefer NYE.
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