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Safe bet no one will notice this
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I've promised my friends to not write negative stuff on Facebook. Safe on here as no one noticed when I posted b4.
I should be happy got good job great son house and health. Just feel like shit so low and filled with negativity. Missing ex love ones and failing to move on so lonely. Stuck in such a rut. Don't know what or how to change. Feel like can't talk to people as they think I should be happy  . |
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I know how you feel, divorce and missing my kids. Try to find something each day or week that you look forward to, I love a long walk whilst listening to podcasts. Yours could be a ride on your motorbike or gym, or even having that takeaway on a Friday or Saturday night.
Look for local clubs that you can join as well, it’s hard to take the first step, but it’s well worth it  |
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"I've promised my friends to not write negative stuff on Facebook. Safe on here as no one noticed when I posted b4.
I should be happy got good job great son house and health. Just feel like shit so low and filled with negativity. Missing ex love ones and failing to move on so lonely. Stuck in such a rut. Don't know what or how to change. Feel like can't talk to people as they think I should be happy . "
If you're feeling unhappy and you are feeling lonely it can be really hard to see a way out.
For me it was spending time on myself, doing things I like, forgiving myself for anything I'd beat myself up about and realising that chewing myself up about things that had already happened was a waste of energy and worrying about stuff that hadn't happened yet was also no use to me.
It isn't a cliché to love yourself.
It takes lots of time to get things to a good place.
I think the advice to see your doctor is good, you should also just let yourself feel the way you feel without guilt too.
Zen hugs.
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By *tew008Man
over a year ago
edinburgh |
"It might be time to talk to your GP rather than random strangers in the forums.
Take heart though, the future isn’t written and I hope there are bright days ahead for you. "
Yea I don’t think fab will make you feel better. Go speak to someone like a GP. Fab will be a challenge for another day. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've promised my friends to not write negative stuff on Facebook. Safe on here as no one noticed when I posted b4.
I should be happy got good job great son house and health. Just feel like shit so low and filled with negativity. Missing ex love ones and failing to move on so lonely. Stuck in such a rut. Don't know what or how to change. Feel like can't talk to people as they think I should be happy . "
Takes a while. I promise it does get better. Focus on the positives. Talk to your doctor. Celebrate the small steps, because when you are low, they are actually big achievements.
Sending hugs. Life can be shit. But it doesn’t stay that way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It might be time to talk to your GP rather than random strangers in the forums.
Take heart though, the future isn’t written and I hope there are bright days ahead for you. "
Good advice.
Though sometimes the randomness of talking to strangers is easy and reflects your thoughts back at you in a way that can ho you change x |
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By *VineMan
over a year ago
The right place |
"It might be time to talk to your GP rather than random strangers in the forums.
Take heart though, the future isn’t written and I hope there are bright days ahead for you.
Good advice.
Though sometimes the randomness of talking to strangers is easy and reflects your thoughts back at you in a way that can ho you change x "
That’s true. |
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"I've promised my friends to not write negative stuff on Facebook. Safe on here as no one noticed when I posted b4.
I should be happy got good job great son house and health. Just feel like shit so low and filled with negativity. Missing ex love ones and failing to move on so lonely. Stuck in such a rut. Don't know what or how to change. Feel like can't talk to people as they think I should be happy . "
Try CALM, the campaign against living miserably, look them up online, they can give you positive advice and support.
You are not alone.
Most people you think are happy and seem to have perfect lives don't, they just put on a good front and only post the shiny happy pix on FaceTube.
As others have said consider talking to your doctor also.
Hug of support to you.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It might be time to talk to your GP rather than random strangers in the forums.
Take heart though, the future isn’t written and I hope there are bright days ahead for you. "
Really good advice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Good thing is you are sharing your thoughts and realise that something needs to change. So look at all the positive comments here..but most importantly promise yourself you will make some changes. Even if just an hours walk everyday. A cup of tea with a friend/ family each day. A phone call with someone you havent spoke to in a while. Little things ! Build up slowly. Life is beautiful sometimes we need to lift our head up and look around to remember. Best of luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"thanks for all the kind and good advice messages appreciated. just to be active and do something.
"
Exactly. Exercise has unbelievable benefits, especially if it gets you outdoors. Without even noticing you will sleep better, eat better, feel better  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've promised my friends to not write negative stuff on Facebook. Safe on here as no one noticed when I posted b4.
I should be happy got good job great son house and health. Just feel like shit so low and filled with negativity. Missing ex love ones and failing to move on so lonely. Stuck in such a rut. Don't know what or how to change. Feel like can't talk to people as they think I should be happy . "
I remember your pink tattoos.
Hope the ideas on this thread have helped. Even if it's just that strangers are trying to help.
There's text/ talk services like Samaritans or Give Us A Shout so if you need to talk about feeling crap you can tell them.
Hope you feel better. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've promised my friends to not write negative stuff on Facebook. Safe on here as no one noticed when I posted b4.
I should be happy got good job great son house and health. Just feel like shit so low and filled with negativity. Missing ex love ones and failing to move on so lonely. Stuck in such a rut. Don't know what or how to change. Feel like can't talk to people as they think I should be happy . "
How long since you split up with the ex? It takes time, it took me years to get over my ex wife, 7 years later and I still get tugs on the heart strings every time I see her. Just live day to day and it does get easier. After a couple of years I could see my ex with other men and not get upset but I still wouldn’t like it. I just concentrate on work and bringing up my kids in a stable environment where the ex saw fit to introduce a string of men to our kids as soon as she met them. 7 years on and about 10 men later she’s not happy at all. I’m still on my own but I’m happy, I know I’ll find the right girl for me but I don’t really look for her, it’ll happen when I least expect it and the same goes for you.
Just live your life for you and your son and it’ll all fall into place in time. Try not to dwell on your ex, what she’s up to etc or the history you had with her. Every time she pops into your head just imagine locking her in a box and put her in a cupboard and lock the door. It works, eventually you’ll stop thinking of her. It’s hard, but time does heal everything. |
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"It might be time to talk to your GP rather than random strangers in the forums.
Take heart though, the future isn’t written and I hope there are bright days ahead for you. "
Yes. GP, Samaritans. Look for self help resources from organisations like Mind.
Fab is generally not a good place for mental health. Take care of yourself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've promised my friends to not write negative stuff on Facebook. Safe on here as no one noticed when I posted b4.
I should be happy got good job great son house and health. Just feel like shit so low and filled with negativity. Missing ex love ones and failing to move on so lonely. Stuck in such a rut. Don't know what or how to change. Feel like can't talk to people as they think I should be happy . "
I actually decided to do my bike test after the ex left, she never allow me to do it in fear of losing me so a year or so later I bought a bike and did my tests. Obviously you already ride a bike but maybe do something for yourself that you’ve always wanted to do and will take up some of your time, energy and focus. What bike do you ride btw? |
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Thanks taken a positive step and self refured my self at Insight HealthCare it's a Free NHS service. So we shall see what happens. Thank you for the advice and kind words. My pink Tattoos are cool I have very distinct ink. |
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"I've promised my friends to not write negative stuff on Facebook. Safe on here as no one noticed when I posted b4.
I should be happy got good job great son house and health. Just feel like shit so low and filled with negativity. Missing ex love ones and failing to move on so lonely. Stuck in such a rut. Don't know what or how to change. Feel like can't talk to people as they think I should be happy .
I actually decided to do my bike test after the ex left, she never allow me to do it in fear of losing me so a year or so later I bought a bike and did my tests. Obviously you already ride a bike but maybe do something for yourself that you’ve always wanted to do and will take up some of your time, energy and focus. What bike do you ride btw?"
Wish I could go out on my Bike. It's broken waiting for a dry day to try and get it working not ridden it yet. Due to not working long story. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've promised my friends to not write negative stuff on Facebook. Safe on here as no one noticed when I posted b4.
I should be happy got good job great son house and health. Just feel like shit so low and filled with negativity. Missing ex love ones and failing to move on so lonely. Stuck in such a rut. Don't know what or how to change. Feel like can't talk to people as they think I should be happy .
I actually decided to do my bike test after the ex left, she never allow me to do it in fear of losing me so a year or so later I bought a bike and did my tests. Obviously you already ride a bike but maybe do something for yourself that you’ve always wanted to do and will take up some of your time, energy and focus. What bike do you ride btw?
Wish I could go out on my Bike. It's broken waiting for a dry day to try and get it working not ridden it yet. Due to not working long story."
Well there you go, concentrate on getting the bike back on the road, set yourself a goal to get it ready for spring. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've promised my friends to not write negative stuff on Facebook. Safe on here as no one noticed when I posted b4.
I should be happy got good job great son house and health. Just feel like shit so low and filled with negativity. Missing ex love ones and failing to move on so lonely. Stuck in such a rut. Don't know what or how to change. Feel like can't talk to people as they think I should be happy . "
They aren't very good friends if they try to censor how you ask for help, IMO.
I'm sorry you're feeling shitty OP. It sounds like contrived bullshit but things DO get better (I always though that was nonsense, but having recently been depressed to the point of suicidal ideation, things do get better, but you have to ask for help)
Inbox me if you want to talk *hugs* |
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"Every time she pops into your head just imagine locking her in a box and put her in a cupboard and lock the door. It works, eventually you’ll stop thinking of her. It’s hard, but time does heal everything. "
Locking feelings away aren’t usually the best way of dealing with stuff, just because it’s locked away doesn’t mean it’s never coming back. It generally means it’ll come back when it gets triggered.
Get some mental health help for actually dealing with it so that when the trigger happens, it doesn’t hurt you so much.
The most important thing is to get help, Facebook “friends” who’ve told you not to write anything negative aren’t helping you. You need to know the difference between going over problems to work them out (a good thing) and churning them around in your mind making it worse (a bad thing) |
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"Every time she pops into your head just imagine locking her in a box and put her in a cupboard and lock the door. It works, eventually you’ll stop thinking of her. It’s hard, but time does heal everything.
Locking feelings away aren’t usually the best way of dealing with stuff, just because it’s locked away doesn’t mean it’s never coming back. It generally means it’ll come back when it gets triggered.
Get some mental health help for actually dealing with it so that when the trigger happens, it doesn’t hurt you so much.
The most important thing is to get help, Facebook “friends” who’ve told you not to write anything negative aren’t helping you. You need to know the difference between going over problems to work them out (a good thing) and churning them around in your mind making it worse (a bad thing)"
Yes. Release and process. It will hurt, it might be awful, you do need to take extra care of yourself as you're doing it, but this is the best long term strategy for distressing thoughts. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Every time she pops into your head just imagine locking her in a box and put her in a cupboard and lock the door. It works, eventually you’ll stop thinking of her. It’s hard, but time does heal everything.
Locking feelings away aren’t usually the best way of dealing with stuff, just because it’s locked away doesn’t mean it’s never coming back. It generally means it’ll come back when it gets triggered.
Get some mental health help for actually dealing with it so that when the trigger happens, it doesn’t hurt you so much.
The most important thing is to get help, Facebook “friends” who’ve told you not to write anything negative aren’t helping you. You need to know the difference between going over problems to work them out (a good thing) and churning them around in your mind making it worse (a bad thing)"
I wasn’t trying to give professional advice, it’s just what I learned to do myself and I found it worked for me. |
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"Every time she pops into your head just imagine locking her in a box and put her in a cupboard and lock the door. It works, eventually you’ll stop thinking of her. It’s hard, but time does heal everything.
Locking feelings away aren’t usually the best way of dealing with stuff, just because it’s locked away doesn’t mean it’s never coming back. It generally means it’ll come back when it gets triggered.
Get some mental health help for actually dealing with it so that when the trigger happens, it doesn’t hurt you so much.
The most important thing is to get help, Facebook “friends” who’ve told you not to write anything negative aren’t helping you. You need to know the difference between going over problems to work them out (a good thing) and churning them around in your mind making it worse (a bad thing)
I wasn’t trying to give professional advice, it’s just what I learned to do myself and I found it worked for me. "
It's all much appreciated and has helped me take action. Which I should have done months maybe years ago. So big thanks for the messages. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks taken a positive step and self refured my self at Insight HealthCare it's a Free NHS service. So we shall see what happens. Thank you for the advice and kind words. My pink Tattoos are cool I have very distinct ink. "
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