FabSwingers.com
 

FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Getting yourself off

Getting yourself off

Jump to: Newest in thread

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Oh god hahahah, American pie reference hahaha

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Deborah....

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

My left hand it was shit

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Stuffed panda...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *uciyassMan  over a year ago

sheffield

Normally £40 worth of petrol will suffice

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I’m very inventive and have used many things including food or a wine bottle haha

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Oh god hahahah, American pie reference hahaha"

I was watching this when I thought of it

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I was 15, and it was not legal.

In fact, don't know why I've commented, I couldn't tell anyone!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *acey_RedWoman  over a year ago

Liverpool


"Stuffed panda..."

You didn't!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I was 15, and it was not legal.

In fact, don't know why I've commented, I couldn't tell anyone! "

You had a pint in a pub? Haha

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

High heel... placed cock in open toe at the front and slid up and down nicely

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *acey_RedWoman  over a year ago

Liverpool

Probably a lip gloss tube when I was younger. Or the handle of a hairbrush.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Stuffed panda...

You didn't! "

Beepsie does not approve !

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *acey_RedWoman  over a year ago

Liverpool


"Stuffed panda...

You didn't!

Beepsie does not approve !"

Pamela would but I don't approve of her slutty behaviour.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Stuffed panda...

You didn't!

Beepsie does not approve !

Pamela would but I don't approve of her slutty behaviour. "

I was young, you know how it is during experimental age

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ribsaMan  over a year ago

A box at end of your bed

Cardboard tube from Middle of a toilet roll

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *wist my nipplesCouple  over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Shampoo bottle - at my boyfriend's parents' house!

Mrs TMN x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ocodoughnutgirlWoman  over a year ago

Sea of jelly and doughnuts

Roll deodorant with the lid on of course...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *a LunaWoman  over a year ago

South Wales

Hairbrush handle.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Shampoo bottle - at my boyfriend's parents' house!

Mrs TMN x"

Ohhh bad girl

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *d59michelleTV/TS  over a year ago

walsall

As Ivor Biggun once sang

I've wanked over Italy,

I've wanked over Spain,

I've wanked in an omnibus,

I've even had a wank in a train.

I've used a badger and a melon and a cat,

An inflatable Linda Lovelace and a Davy Crocket hat,

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan  over a year ago

Aylesbury

A snorkel

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *oneyjule65Couple  over a year ago

Halifax

Many years ago a frozen sausage

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *oneyjule65Couple  over a year ago

Halifax


"Cardboard tube from Middle of a toilet roll "

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

2 sponges and a toilet seat

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Many years ago a frozen sausage "

Dont know why but that sent me into fits of giggles lolol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ribsaMan  over a year ago

A box at end of your bed


"Cardboard tube from Middle of a toilet roll

"

Yes was way back in my early teens was very desperate shag anything days lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Stuffed panda...

You didn't!

Beepsie does not approve !

Pamela would but I don't approve of her slutty behaviour. "

Pamela may need to have a background check before pandas tea party, can’t just let any old panda teddy in having bad influence on Beepsie

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *unkym34Man  over a year ago

London


"Many years ago a frozen sausage "
let it go let it go

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds

The nose of my teddy bear

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Many years ago a frozen sausage "

They’re not called bangers for nothing.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Hairbrush handle.

"

Lol, my ex used to do that! X

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *arah_kieran_ukCouple  over a year ago

Greater London

Cucumber and then served it to my brother in law

xx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Probably a lip gloss tube when I was younger. Or the handle of a hairbrush."

I’m sure a lot of girls broke their hymen that way.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"As Ivor Biggun once sang

I've wanked over Italy,

I've wanked over Spain,

I've wanked in an omnibus,

I've even had a wank in a train.

I've used a badger and a melon and a cat,

An inflatable Linda Lovelace and a Davy Crocket hat,"

Pmsl

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Back in my teens I tried anal penetration using a snorkel.

It was... not fun.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *a LunaWoman  over a year ago

South Wales


"Back in my teens I tried anal penetration using a snorkel.

It was... not fun."

oh Kinky, this has made me laugh!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Back in my teens I tried anal penetration using a snorkel.

It was... not fun.

oh Kinky, this has made me laugh! "

On the positive side, I learned the importance of lube at an early age.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Back in my teens I tried anal penetration using a snorkel.

It was... not fun.

oh Kinky, this has made me laugh!

On the positive side, I learned the importance of lube at an early age."

Did you blow through it after and shoot a pellet of shit?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *acey_RedWoman  over a year ago

Liverpool


"Probably a lip gloss tube when I was younger. Or the handle of a hairbrush.

I’m sure a lot of girls broke their hymen that way. "

Mine partially broke 3 times

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *acey_RedWoman  over a year ago

Liverpool


"Stuffed panda...

You didn't!

Beepsie does not approve !

Pamela would but I don't approve of her slutty behaviour.

Pamela may need to have a background check before pandas tea party, can’t just let any old panda teddy in having bad influence on Beepsie "

I'm afraid she would fail! She's filthy.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *dmundwilsonMan  over a year ago

Llandudno

You seem like a hard riding gal.. love it

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Back in my teens I tried anal penetration using a snorkel.

It was... not fun."

Sounds painful.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Roll deodorant with the lid on of course...

"

'Mum' was a good brand for this!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *oneyjule65Couple  over a year ago

Halifax


"Many years ago a frozen sausage

They’re not called bangers for nothing. "

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *oneyjule65Couple  over a year ago

Halifax


"Many years ago a frozen sausage let it go let it go "

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *oneyjule65Couple  over a year ago

Halifax


"Cardboard tube from Middle of a toilet roll

Yes was way back in my early teens was very desperate shag anything days lol "

Lol...did it work?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ig_eric_tionMan  over a year ago

IPSWICH


"Back in my teens I tried anal penetration using a snorkel.

It was... not fun."

Which end of the snorkel?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *lbinoGorillaMan  over a year ago

Redditch

Silk shirt between the mattress and the bed base

Surprisingly effective, and realistic

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I used to put a towel around my cock when I used to wank. Think death grip but 10 times worse

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Can't believe I'm going to admit to this but saw a program and a guy peeled a banana and used the peel to wrap around his cock and wank with it as he said it felt amazing. I tried it and it was quite good! Messy and slimy but rather fun to be honest!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ream3.14159Man  over a year ago

Here & there


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?"

My imagination, it is pretty strange believe me

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *acey_RedWoman  over a year ago

Liverpool


"I used to put a towel around my cock when I used to wank. Think death grip but 10 times worse"

Did it have any long term effect?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Did it have any long term effect?"

It was desensitized to actual vagina so it was a lot harder to cum, which is good or bad depending on how you look at it

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Back in my teens I tried anal penetration using a snorkel.

It was... not fun.

Which end of the snorkel? "

Haha the straight end, not the end with the mouthpiece

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *acey_RedWoman  over a year ago

Liverpool


"Did it have any long term effect?

It was desensitized to actual vagina so it was a lot harder to cum, which is good or bad depending on how you look at it"

How do you look at it or do you find equal positives and negatives?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

When I was younger I tried to penetrate a balloon

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"How do you look at it or do you find equal positives and negatives?"

It was nice to be able to pound away and be aggressive for a long time. However, sensitivity is a good thing, sex is a lot more enjoyable with a sensitive dick. I've learnt to be able to last a good amount of time through breathing etc

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *acey_RedWoman  over a year ago

Liverpool


"How do you look at it or do you find equal positives and negatives?

It was nice to be able to pound away and be aggressive for a long time. However, sensitivity is a good thing, sex is a lot more enjoyable with a sensitive dick. I've learnt to be able to last a good amount of time through breathing etc"

So you got the sensitivity back once you stopped? Sorry for all the questions .

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds


"When I was younger I tried to penetrate a balloon "

Did the friction make your hair stand on end ?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Back in my teens I tried anal penetration using a snorkel.

It was... not fun.

Which end of the snorkel? "

Don't

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"When I was younger I tried to penetrate a balloon

Did the friction make your hair stand on end ?"

Pubic hair, yes

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The pumpable straw out of a hand soap dispenser

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So you got the sensitivity back once you stopped? Sorry for all the questions ."

Yeah pretty much

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *acey_RedWoman  over a year ago

Liverpool


"So you got the sensitivity back once you stopped? Sorry for all the questions .

Yeah pretty much"

That's good

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"So you got the sensitivity back once you stopped? Sorry for all the questions .

Yeah pretty much

That's good "

Pmsl

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Can't believe I'm going to admit to this but saw a program and a guy peeled a banana and used the peel to wrap around his cock and wank with it as he said it felt amazing. I tried it and it was quite good! Messy and slimy but rather fun to be honest! "

Is not just the same as having a lubed wank?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

A jar of deliciously thick gooey jam...

B

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"A jar of deliciously thick gooey jam...

B"

Jam could be fun

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"A jar of deliciously thick gooey jam...

B

Jam could be fun "

It was. The beautiful weirdness of sinking into it was a thrill as was the texture (small segments of strawberries gripping my cock "just so"...) As was being watched throughout!

But it made ever such a mess...

B

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *andsome HandMan  over a year ago

roundabout

[Removed by poster at 22/11/19 10:45:17]

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"A jar of deliciously thick gooey jam...

B

Jam could be fun

It was. The beautiful weirdness of sinking into it was a thrill as was the texture (small segments of strawberries gripping my cock "just so"...) As was being watched throughout!

But it made ever such a mess...

B"

Sounds delicious

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Can't believe I'm going to admit to this but saw a program and a guy peeled a banana and used the peel to wrap around his cock and wank with it as he said it felt amazing. I tried it and it was quite good! Messy and slimy but rather fun to be honest!

Is not just the same as having a lubed wank?"

No it was a bit better as the banana skin gripped a bit all round.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Can't believe I'm going to admit to this but saw a program and a guy peeled a banana and used the peel to wrap around his cock and wank with it as he said it felt amazing. I tried it and it was quite good! Messy and slimy but rather fun to be honest!

Is not just the same as having a lubed wank?

No it was a bit better as the banana skin gripped a bit all round. "

Oh okay

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Il never look at jam the same again now

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ex HolesMan  over a year ago

Up North

Watching Doris next door her garden. She’s in her 80’s

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Watching Doris next door her garden. She’s in her 80’s "

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *hewifeandiCouple  over a year ago

Bristol


"Watching Doris next door her garden. She’s in her 80’s "

Hubbies leg and a hair brush lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ex HolesMan  over a year ago

Up North


"Watching Doris next door her garden. She’s in her 80’s

Hubbies leg and a hair brush lol"

But she looks 75

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Watching Doris next door her garden. She’s in her 80’s

Hubbies leg and a hair brush lol

But she looks 75 "

Well when you put it that way

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I’m very inventive and have used many things including food or a wine bottle haha"

Wine bottle

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *hewifeandiCouple  over a year ago

Bristol


"I’m very inventive and have used many things including food or a wine bottle haha

Wine bottle "

What a fantastic arse wow we both munch on that

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I’m very inventive and have used many things including food or a wine bottle haha

Wine bottle

What a fantastic arse wow we both munch on that "

Thanks

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I’m very inventive and have used many things including food or a wine bottle haha

Wine bottle

What a fantastic arse wow we both munch on that

Thanks "

Dinner for two tonight

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Electric Toothbrush

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Electric Toothbrush "

10/10 of dentists recommended

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?"

Does mrs Palmer and her five daughters count as strange or is it just normal?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?

Does mrs Palmer and her five daughters count as strange or is it just normal? "

I know a Mrs Palm aswell and her 5 sisters are lovely too

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?

Does mrs Palmer and her five daughters count as strange or is it just normal?

I know a Mrs Palm aswell and her 5 sisters are lovely too "

The one I know is different to yours!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *otrockWoman  over a year ago

Essex

The side of the bath many moons ago

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *hewifeandiCouple  over a year ago

Bristol


"The side of the bath many moons ago "

LOL the wife can relate to that even though she's sitting here all red saying shes never done it, think someone's telling fibs

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *an_LexaCouple  over a year ago

Sunderland

Oh god you lot make me laugh so much.

I’ve enjoyed this thread

Lex

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *otrockWoman  over a year ago

Essex

[Removed by poster at 22/11/19 22:53:21]

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *otrockWoman  over a year ago

Essex


"The side of the bath many moons ago

LOL the wife can relate to that even though she's sitting here all red saying shes never done it, think someone's telling fibs "

Oh I did indulge a fair few times once I knew it got me off

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *awk90Man  over a year ago

Amsterdam

A rope I climbed in gym class... My first ever orgasm. I climbed in a way that rubbed my crotch against it nicely...

It's a weird memory now. Makes me both tingle and feel uncomfortable!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I dont think I have used anything weird at all... but then I didn't wank until I was 17

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *hewifeandiCouple  over a year ago

Bristol


"The side of the bath many moons ago

LOL the wife can relate to that even though she's sitting here all red saying shes never done it, think someone's telling fibs

Oh I did indulge a fair few times once I knew it got me off "

By this smile so did she haha 23 years together and I'm still finding out things I never knew before

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The side of the bath many moons ago

LOL the wife can relate to that even though she's sitting here all red saying shes never done it, think someone's telling fibs

Oh I did indulge a fair few times once I knew it got me off "

My bathroom is free right now, if you want to pop around? Haha!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *anky_PankyWoman  over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

A Sure deodorant can and a cucumber (not at the same time) said cucumber was fed to my ex's missus in a salad and the rest to her horse!!!!

I felt guilty about the horse

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

A red leather stiletto ??

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *anky_PankyWoman  over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville


"A jar of deliciously thick gooey jam...

B

Jam could be fun

It was. The beautiful weirdness of sinking into it was a thrill as was the texture (small segments of strawberries gripping my cock "just so"...) As was being watched throughout!

But it made ever such a mess...

B"

Cream tea anyone?!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *gnitemybodyWoman  over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor


"When I was younger I tried to penetrate a balloon

Did the friction make your hair stand on end ?"

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ikerdude2017Man  over a year ago

Rotherham

Wearing a cage and massaging my cock through it to make me cum. Horny as fuck

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I’m very inventive and have used many things including food or a wine bottle haha

Wine bottle

What a fantastic arse wow we both munch on that

Thanks

Dinner for two tonight "

Sure why not

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Mrs fawltey on fawlty towers when was about 14 haha just kept getting horn

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Normally £40 worth of petrol will suffice "

Especially with the older pumps ...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *irtybrit27Man  over a year ago

Portsmouth

All these are making my gym sock look quite tame. I was practically an angel ?? how times have changed!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *otrockWoman  over a year ago

Essex


"The side of the bath many moons ago

LOL the wife can relate to that even though she's sitting here all red saying shes never done it, think someone's telling fibs

Oh I did indulge a fair few times once I knew it got me off

My bathroom is free right now, if you want to pop around? Haha!"

Such a shame your too far away... Think it's time for a bath

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

What kind of shampoo? Must have been quite big?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

A bus.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

You all are so creative pervs...!

I’ve cum when younger with the jet stream from the shower straight on my cock...

Was amazing cumming myself without touching it

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *hewifeandiCouple  over a year ago

Bristol


"A bus."
a bus? Enlighten us fucked on a bus but never the actual bus.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *on779Man  over a year ago

west mersea colchester


"Cardboard tube from Middle of a toilet roll

Yes was way back in my early teens was very desperate shag anything days lol "

Oh I’ve put one of those round my cock to wank with before

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"A bus. a bus? Enlighten us fucked on a bus but never the actual bus. "

No it's the strangest thing I've ever got off.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"You all are so creative pervs...!

I’ve cum when younger with the jet stream from the shower straight on my cock...

Was amazing cumming myself without touching it "

Easy to clean after

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *imonTMan  over a year ago

hayes

Thanks for creating this thread.... Bizarrely I'm finding it a serious turn on and it's definitely made my Saturday morning. As to wanking.... Where were your profile pics when I was younger? They would totally have done it!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Thanks for creating this thread.... Bizarrely I'm finding it a serious turn on and it's definitely made my Saturday morning. As to wanking.... Where were your profile pics when I was younger? They would totally have done it!"

Ha ha thanks

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *alldarksurreyMan  over a year ago

surrey


"Cucumber and then served it to my brother in law

xx"

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Cucumber and then served it to my brother in law

xx

"

How did I miss this

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Riding in a cross country competition when I was 18. Wasn't intentional though. Too much rubbage on the saddle. I was slightly mortified!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *jr41Couple  over a year ago

Wiltshire


"Many years ago a frozen sausage

Dont know why but that sent me into fits of giggles lolol"

It did me too

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Riding in a cross country competition when I was 18. Wasn't intentional though. Too much rubbage on the saddle. I was slightly mortified! "

Did people notice?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Riding in a cross country competition when I was 18. Wasn't intentional though. Too much rubbage on the saddle. I was slightly mortified!

Did people notice?"

Luckily no.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *shaka_tMan  over a year ago

Notts

Duvet cover

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ilveryFoxMan  over a year ago

Midlothian

A honeydew melon

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Ya’ll need Jesus

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"A bus."

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Great thread and many inventive ideas. My submission is

Two slices of bread (in my 20s)

Or

Between the mattress and bed base (in my teens)

Or

The exhaust of my motorcycle (reasonably recent )

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

A PM has reminded me about the vacuum cleaner.

I actually made an attachment with holes drilled in at at various points so I could regulate the suction over my dick.

A bit like playing a messy tune on a flute

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?"
oscillating sander

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?oscillating sander "

Lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?oscillating sander

Lol "

it ruined me

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?oscillating sander

Lol it ruined me "

I am sure it would have

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Vaccum cleaner

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?oscillating sander

Lol it ruined me

I am sure it would have "

just so you know the sandpaper wasnt attached

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?oscillating sander

Lol it ruined me

I am sure it would have just so you know the sandpaper wasnt attached "

You should have tried with a 3mm thick..Next time.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?oscillating sander

Lol it ruined me

I am sure it would have just so you know the sandpaper wasnt attached

You should have tried with a 3mm thick..Next time. "

ouch no i like it to still be there

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Years ago I had a metal bed with knobs on the end......

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?oscillating sander

Lol it ruined me

I am sure it would have just so you know the sandpaper wasnt attached "

By the way I love your profile. It is hilarious. You have a great SOH.

Said that, I am not going to change my sexuality in any way shape or form. Lol. Straight means straight.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?oscillating sander

Lol it ruined me

I am sure it would have just so you know the sandpaper wasnt attached

By the way I love your profile. It is hilarious. You have a great SOH.

Said that, I am not going to change my sexuality in any way shape or form. Lol. Straight means straight.

"

lol hey exactly be the person you are dont let anyone change you and thanks i try

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Years ago I had a metal bed with knobs on the end......"

Glad to know.

I will let my mate whistle and flute to comment on that. He will come up with something funnier that I could ever imagine.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?oscillating sander

Lol it ruined me

I am sure it would have just so you know the sandpaper wasnt attached

By the way I love your profile. It is hilarious. You have a great SOH.

Said that, I am not going to change my sexuality in any way shape or form. Lol. Straight means straight.

lol hey exactly be the person you are dont let anyone change you and thanks i try "

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?"

A damp flannel inside a pint glass

(Didn’t all teenage boys try this back in the day!!?? )

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Years ago I had a metal bed with knobs on the end......

Glad to know.

I will let my mate whistle and flute to comment on that. He will come up with something funnier that I could ever imagine. "

i saw a vid once of a woman sliding down the wooden ornate bed post i mean it was 4"x4" with a rounded top omg couldn't believe how far she could get it in lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *orthern StarsCouple  over a year ago

Durham

A potato masher (in my much younger days)

Mrs

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Electric toothbrush

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Ya’ll need Jesus "

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?"
my bike i didnt want to go but my bike got me there............ we are talking about work..... yes?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?my bike i didnt want to go but my bike got me there............ we are talking about work..... yes? "

Of course

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?my bike i didnt want to go but my bike got me there............ we are talking about work..... yes?

Of course "

knew it

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *istyblue1967Man  over a year ago

manchester

and who has had a posh wank ???? lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?"

In my twenties I once tried an orbital sander.. They vibrate an awful lot..

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *owithflow321Man  over a year ago

Molesey

Leaning against an old fashioned petrol lawnmower

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?my bike i didnt want to go but my bike got me there............ we are talking about work..... yes?

Of course knew it "

I know. You are are very bright

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?my bike i didnt want to go but my bike got me there............ we are talking about work..... yes?

Of course knew it

I know. You are are very bright "

i eat a lot of carrots

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?my bike i didnt want to go but my bike got me there............ we are talking about work..... yes?

Of course knew it

I know. You are are very bright i eat a lot of carrots "

May try that myself.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?my bike i didnt want to go but my bike got me there............ we are talking about work..... yes?

Of course knew it

I know. You are are very bright i eat a lot of carrots

May try that myself. "

it does help in dark rooms

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *istyblue1967Man  over a year ago

manchester

im sure back in the day women would get themselves off with the old fashioned twin tub washing machines !!!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?my bike i didnt want to go but my bike got me there............ we are talking about work..... yes?

Of course knew it

I know. You are are very bright i eat a lot of carrots

May try that myself. it does help in dark rooms "

Thanks for the useful information.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"im sure back in the day women would get themselves off with the old fashioned twin tub washing machines !!!"

Probably true

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *naquest321Man  over a year ago

Carlisle


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?"

Would it be strange to say, your pics.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?

Would it be strange to say, your pics. "

Yah it would

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?my bike i didnt want to go but my bike got me there............ we are talking about work..... yes?

Of course knew it

I know. You are are very bright i eat a lot of carrots

May try that myself. it does help in dark rooms

Thanks for the useful information."

do you go to clubs and i dont mean book clubs

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *naquest321Man  over a year ago

Carlisle


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?

Would it be strange to say, your pics.

Yah it would "

Better not say that then.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?my bike i didnt want to go but my bike got me there............ we are talking about work..... yes?

Of course knew it

I know. You are are very bright i eat a lot of carrots

May try that myself. it does help in dark rooms

Thanks for the useful information.do you go to clubs and i dont mean book clubs "

I wouldn't be seen dead in book club. I go to knitting club instead.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"What's the strangest thing you've ever used to get yourself off?

Would it be strange to say, your pics.

Yah it would

Better not say that then. "

Nope

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Leaning against an old fashioned petrol lawnmower "

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *urhamgurlWoman  over a year ago

Durham

When I was younger pressing down on my bike seat as I was riding around

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"When I was younger pressing down on my bike seat as I was riding around"

Must have been an interesting ride

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *urhamgurlWoman  over a year ago

Durham


"When I was younger pressing down on my bike seat as I was riding around

Must have been an interesting ride "

Haha yes I loved my bike. I do something similar now at work. I take my shoe off and curl my leg underneath so I’m sitting and pressing against my heel. No one has any idea I’m basically masturbating while working

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"When I was younger pressing down on my bike seat as I was riding around

Must have been an interesting ride

Haha yes I loved my bike. I do something similar now at work. I take my shoe off and curl my leg underneath so I’m sitting and pressing against my heel. No one has any idea I’m basically masturbating while working "

Sounds hot

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

  

By *ent4HotwifeMan  over a year ago

North Cotswolds

Imperial leather shower gel is the perfect consistency for a slippy and foamy wank, gets me off so quick in the shower. Try it!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

0.1874

0