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'How are you?'
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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This is fast becoming my most hated question/message.
Yes, it seems to be an inoffensive question, but it's also lazy, broad and shows a complete lack of genuinely wanting to engage. Invariably it's accompanied by nothing else.
Does anyone else routinely sigh and roll their eyes at these gems of messages? |
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"This is fast becoming my most hated question/message.
Yes, it seems to be an inoffensive question, but it's also lazy, broad and shows a complete lack of genuinely wanting to engage. Invariably it's accompanied by nothing else.
Does anyone else routinely sigh and roll their eyes at these gems of messages? "
Yep get that a lot but the one that drives me loopy the most is "Hi, you OK" - I usually reply with "yes, why what's happened"  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is fast becoming my most hated question/message.
Yes, it seems to be an inoffensive question, but it's also lazy, broad and shows a complete lack of genuinely wanting to engage. Invariably it's accompanied by nothing else.
Does anyone else routinely sigh and roll their eyes at these gems of messages?
Yep get that a lot but the one that drives me loopy the most is "Hi, you OK" - I usually reply with "yes, why what's happened" "
I’m stealing that one |
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"This is fast becoming my most hated question/message.
Yes, it seems to be an inoffensive question, but it's also lazy, broad and shows a complete lack of genuinely wanting to engage. Invariably it's accompanied by nothing else.
Does anyone else routinely sigh and roll their eyes at these gems of messages?
Yep get that a lot but the one that drives me loopy the most is "Hi, you OK" - I usually reply with "yes, why what's happened" "
I usually say 'I hope so'.
Or the 'wuu2' messages, grrrrrr!!!!! X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't like "HI" or "How are you" messages either. Unfortunately, when we first got on the site, my other half sent a few of them before I realised.
While I did initially think it was a bloke thing, we've had plenty of "Hi" messages from both ladies and couples.
x N |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
I don't like "HI" or "How are you" messages either. Unfortunately, when we first got on the site, my other half sent a few of them before I realised.
While I did initially think it was a bloke thing, we've had plenty of "Hi" messages from both ladies and couples.
x N"
It's definitely not just a bloke thing! Can empathise. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah, I see people have this written on their profiles a lot, not to send them a "hey how are you" message.
I'll just skip them profiles, I refuse to start a conversation any other way."
And are you finding it easy to start conversations that way? Do you get the replies?
x N |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yeah, I see people have this written on their profiles a lot, not to send them a "hey how are you" message.
I'll just skip them profiles, I refuse to start a conversation any other way."
Wow... That's quite absolute. So... You never introduce yourself, reference what you've read/seen and try to engage?! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"MIND use this question for mental health. Problem is we don’t all answer the question honestly.
So in that context I think it’s a perfectly acceptable question. "
It is, with regards to counselling. |
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"Yeah, I see people have this written on their profiles a lot, not to send them a "hey how are you" message.
I'll just skip them profiles, I refuse to start a conversation any other way."
As an opening line on a thought out message it's perfectly acceptable but not when the entire message can be read without opening it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah, I see people have this written on their profiles a lot, not to send them a "hey how are you" message.
I'll just skip them profiles, I refuse to start a conversation any other way.
And are you finding it easy to start conversations that way? Do you get the replies?
x N"
I’ll just throw back a bunch of random facts of the day skipping the fab highlights see what they pick up on
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"MIND use this question for mental health. Problem is we don’t all answer the question honestly.
So in that context I think it’s a perfectly acceptable question.
It is, with regards to counselling."
To be fair, if my mental health was suffering, and some times it may be (we all have bad days), the last person I'd want to tell is someone I don't know, on Fab!
N x |
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"MIND use this question for mental health. Problem is we don’t all answer the question honestly.
So in that context I think it’s a perfectly acceptable question.
It is, with regards to counselling."
Anything is contextual. How are you is a great question in most environments.
On here, where you need to stand out, it's "look at me I'm lazy but I like you"
Sort of like, "I've got a nine inch penis" might be a winning message on Fab but not in a job interview. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"MIND use this question for mental health. Problem is we don’t all answer the question honestly.
So in that context I think it’s a perfectly acceptable question.
It is, with regards to counselling.
Anything is contextual. How are you is a great question in most environments.
On here, where you need to stand out, it's "look at me I'm lazy but I like you"
Sort of like, "I've got a nine inch penis" might be a winning message on Fab but not in a job interview. "
Good point, well-made |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
Oh I don't know. It's an attempt at starting a conversation. Sure, it's not particularly stimulating or displaying any sense of knowing the other but it is trying to engage and find out more about another person rather than going off on a marketing spiel about them. So no, I can't say I find it particularly eye rolling. I've possibly been around for too long to find it in anyway offensive or irksome. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Oh I don't know. It's an attempt at starting a conversation. Sure, it's not particularly stimulating or displaying any sense of knowing the other but it is trying to engage and find out more about another person rather than going off on a marketing spiel about them. So no, I can't say I find it particularly eye rolling. I've possibly been around for too long to find it in anyway offensive or irksome."
I do see that. Maybe I've just had a very long run of them and it has irked me. I can see the absurdity of it, hence posting in the forums. |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
Welsh Lass |
I do a bit. I find it a bit exhausting getting asked questions.
I’d rather they just said hello and then proceeded to tell me something about them and if i like the sound of it to reply.
Or just tell me a stupid joke or something.
|
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"I kind of feel for some guys who are trying to stand out. I mean they may have tried all kinds and still get no where!
What's a guy to do"
Indeed. That is the eternal question - what IS a guy to do?? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I kind of feel for some guys who are trying to stand out. I mean they may have tried all kinds and still get no where!
What's a guy to do
Indeed. That is the eternal question - what IS a guy to do?? "
Trust in serendipity. |
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"MIND use this question for mental health. Problem is we don’t all answer the question honestly.
So in that context I think it’s a perfectly acceptable question.
It is, with regards to counselling.
Anything is contextual. How are you is a great question in most environments.
On here, where you need to stand out, it's "look at me I'm lazy but I like you"
Sort of like, "I've got a nine inch penis" might be a winning message on Fab but not in a job interview. "
Dunno, I'm currently hiring and I'd certainly remember that candidate |
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"This is fast becoming my most hated question/message.
Yes, it seems to be an inoffensive question, but it's also lazy, broad and shows a complete lack of genuinely wanting to engage. Invariably it's accompanied by nothing else.
Does anyone else routinely sigh and roll their eyes at these gems of messages? "
Messages you say?
No idea....... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm happy with a "hi, how are you" opening message. I then look at the profile. If it catches my eye, I'll respond. But then I accept winks from people. I'm nice like that |
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"MIND use this question for mental health. Problem is we don’t all answer the question honestly.
So in that context I think it’s a perfectly acceptable question.
It is, with regards to counselling.
Anything is contextual. How are you is a great question in most environments.
On here, where you need to stand out, it's "look at me I'm lazy but I like you"
Sort of like, "I've got a nine inch penis" might be a winning message on Fab but not in a job interview.
Dunno, I'm currently hiring and I'd certainly remember that candidate "
Memorable isn't always good  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A pet trigger for me is "any questions please feel free to ask." I like to respond with "which three horse races make up the triple crown?" or "in which film does Judy Garland sing" have yourself a merry little christmas? " or something similar . Who messages a stranger and says" ask me about me!"  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A pet trigger for me is "any questions please feel free to ask." I like to respond with "which three horse races make up the triple crown?" or "in which film does Judy Garland sing" have yourself a merry little christmas? " or something similar . Who messages a stranger and says" ask me about me!" "
Yes, exactly. It really puts the onus on you to be the actual instigator!
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"A pet trigger for me is "any questions please feel free to ask." I like to respond with "which three horse races make up the triple crown?" or "in which film does Judy Garland sing" have yourself a merry little christmas? " or something similar . Who messages a stranger and says" ask me about me!" "
I get a lot of "what u curious about", which I sometimes answer truthfully.
I'm curious about a lot of weird crap, and I don't think anyone is ever glad they asked.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh I don't know. It's an attempt at starting a conversation. Sure, it's not particularly stimulating or displaying any sense of knowing the other but it is trying to engage and find out more about another person rather than going off on a marketing spiel about them. So no, I can't say I find it particularly eye rolling. I've possibly been around for too long to find it in anyway offensive or irksome."
This ^^^ no eye rolling here! It's just a way to start a conversation that works in most scenarios so why should it be different on here? Should our expectations be so demanding on here when if a stranger asks it sitting at the bar you'd mostly likely answer thus starting a conversation? As long as it's backed up with an interesting profile I, personally have no problems answering a polite conversation starter |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A pet trigger for me is "any questions please feel free to ask." I like to respond with "which three horse races make up the triple crown?" or "in which film does Judy Garland sing" have yourself a merry little christmas? " or something similar . Who messages a stranger and says" ask me about me!"
I get a lot of "what u curious about", which I sometimes answer truthfully.
I'm curious about a lot of weird crap, and I don't think anyone is ever glad they asked. "
Any fantasies... I always say yes, I want to marry Tom Hardy  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh I don't know. It's an attempt at starting a conversation. Sure, it's not particularly stimulating or displaying any sense of knowing the other but it is trying to engage and find out more about another person rather than going off on a marketing spiel about them. So no, I can't say I find it particularly eye rolling. I've possibly been around for too long to find it in anyway offensive or irksome.
This ^^^ no eye rolling here! It's just a way to start a conversation that works in most scenarios so why should it be different on here? Should our expectations be so demanding on here when if a stranger asks it sitting at the bar you'd mostly likely answer thus starting a conversation? As long as it's backed up with an interesting profile I, personally have no problems answering a polite conversation starter "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally see nothing wrong with a hi how are you....its how conversation usually starts.
"
This ....
....and oddly "hey how are you" is exactly how most of my messages from you buggers on the forum appear when you message me. Posts bitching about message content are far more telling imho... .....why not just ignore if you don't like them, the same with cock pics or any other type of thing that's not to your taste? There's no need to shame ppl for being polite if a little dull. Not everyone is bursting with charisma and they all have to start somewhere.... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Personally see nothing wrong with a hi how are you....its how conversation usually starts.
This ....
....and oddly "hey how are you" is exactly how most of my messages from you buggers on the forum appear when you message me. Posts bitching about message content are far more telling imho... .....why not just ignore if you don't like them, the same with cock pics or any other type of thing that's not to your taste? There's no need to shame ppl for being polite if a little dull. Not everyone is bursting with charisma and they all have to start somewhere.... "
What you see as bitching, others may see as despair. No one person has been shamed. The only thing that's telling is that people want to be engaged, chatted-up and seduced.
These messages are ignored, deleted. For being dull and lazy.
And then said people must wonder why so. Or maybe they don't. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally see nothing wrong with a hi how are you....its how conversation usually starts.
This ....
....and oddly "hey how are you" is exactly how most of my messages from you buggers on the forum appear when you message me. Posts bitching about message content are far more telling imho... .....why not just ignore if you don't like them, the same with cock pics or any other type of thing that's not to your taste? There's no need to shame ppl for being polite if a little dull. Not everyone is bursting with charisma and they all have to start somewhere....
What you see as bitching, others may see as despair. No one person has been shamed. The only thing that's telling is that people want to be engaged, chatted-up and seduced.
These messages are ignored, deleted. For being dull and lazy.
And then said people must wonder why so. Or maybe they don't."
They're obv just not up to your own high standard.... I'll take note and up my game.... Sorry please thank you....
Good day  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes I welcome that question from someone I've never spoken to before....
And then reel off how awful my day has been, how many loads of washing I've got done, any aches or pains I have. You know the shit people have no real interest in. But you know... that asked the question so I will give an honest answer.
P |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally see nothing wrong with a hi how are you....its how conversation usually starts.
This ....
....and oddly "hey how are you" is exactly how most of my messages from you buggers on the forum appear when you message me. Posts bitching about message content are far more telling imho... .....why not just ignore if you don't like them, the same with cock pics or any other type of thing that's not to your taste? There's no need to shame ppl for being polite if a little dull. Not everyone is bursting with charisma and they all have to start somewhere.... "
My reckoning is that forum users often already feel like they know other forum users, so probably do actually give a shit how the person they're massaging is, on that basis they're asking because they care rather than a "way in"
P |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is fast becoming my most hated question/message.
Yes, it seems to be an inoffensive question, but it's also lazy, broad and shows a complete lack of genuinely wanting to engage. Invariably it's accompanied by nothing else.
Does anyone else routinely sigh and roll their eyes at these gems of messages? "
Abso flaming lutely I do.
Another is "How is your day?" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is fast becoming my most hated question/message.
Yes, it seems to be an inoffensive question, but it's also lazy, broad and shows a complete lack of genuinely wanting to engage. Invariably it's accompanied by nothing else.
Does anyone else routinely sigh and roll their eyes at these gems of messages? "
It merely shows that the sender possesses as much imagination as the new twist department of screenwriters for I'm a Celebrity.
B |
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I think that the people who complain about a simple Hi as a msg are becoming annoying,
If you read the threads here there are far worse things being sent as a ice breaker,
The level of complaining here has show up recently,
Does this mean the age of Snowflake is old enough to swing,,
Holy Shite Batman  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think that the people who complain about a simple Hi as a msg are becoming annoying,
If you read the threads here there are far worse things being sent as a ice breaker,
The level of complaining here has show up recently,
Does this mean the age of Snowflake is old enough to swing,,
Holy Shite Batman "
I've just just as many "boo hoo no-one will shag me" threads. Isn't this offering some clues as to why those threads are there? |
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"I think that the people who complain about a simple Hi as a msg are becoming annoying,
If you read the threads here there are far worse things being sent as a ice breaker,
The level of complaining here has show up recently,
Does this mean the age of Snowflake is old enough to swing,,
Holy Shite Batman
I've just just as many "boo hoo no-one will shag me" threads. Isn't this offering some clues as to why those threads are there? "
maybe,
But end of the day
Most of us were brought up to be polite, that works both ways, hi in a 1st msg is not something to complain about, now if they can't back it up in the next few msgs then cut them loose, but be polite about it,
Just my take on it,
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What are people meant to put in a message? I've no problem with 'how are you?'. I'd much prefer that than 'wanna fuck?'
"
If I send a first message it'll be about something I've seen and liked in their profile and/or a question about it. It'll be an invitation to engage in a conversation, to reply with something other than fine thanks. It's not that hard and please believe I am one lazy wench. If I can make the effort to at least try and interest someone then really there's no excuse. No ones saying don't do it. What they're saying is doing it won't get you any kind of result you'll want. It's actually an attempt to help. Me, I'm lazy I just delete the messages and forget them, I could give a fuck about helping. At least the OP is letting guys know that this doesnt work and they should maybe try something else. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What are people meant to put in a message? I've no problem with 'how are you?'. I'd much prefer that than 'wanna fuck?'
If I send a first message it'll be about something I've seen and liked in their profile and/or a question about it. It'll be an invitation to engage in a conversation, to reply with something other than fine thanks. It's not that hard and please believe I am one lazy wench. If I can make the effort to at least try and interest someone then really there's no excuse. No ones saying don't do it. What they're saying is doing it won't get you any kind of result you'll want. It's actually an attempt to help. Me, I'm lazy I just delete the messages and forget them, I could give a fuck about helping. At least the OP is letting guys know that this doesnt work and they should maybe try something else. "
This. Of the many threads that are started by guys asking for advice on how to improve their chances on here, almost all contain the site advice of "Ladies and couples can and do get hundreds of messages a day. Make sure your message stands out." Or words to that effect.
Sending a message saying simply "How are you?" with nothing else to say whilst inoffensive, CAN and WILL be taken by the majority of ladies to indicate either laziness or a lack of imagination? When they have the pick of the majority of single guys on here they aren't likely to plump for those sending these messages as the senders haven't put any effort in at all to find any common interests, sexual or otherwise which most will have somewhere down the line. Granted they are better than the "wanna fuck" brigade, but in terms of messages it's like comparing Crewe Alexandra to Northwich Victoria when talking about either side's chances of winning the Champions League over the next 5 years or so?
For example, we haven't really spoken at all in the past. But merely off the top of my head, if I were a single guy messaging you I'd probably be likely to include a conversation about the film Labrynth which is after all an awesome movie and succeeded in capturing the imagination of an entire generation? There's titbits of interesting info galore from that too, such as two of the Firies were voiced by Danny Don Jules who later went on to play Cat in Red Dwarf.
Doubtless I'd compliment you on your eyes which are probably your most captivating feature. Then I'd finish on a probably slightly cheeky but friendly note before signing off.
None of this would take a great effort really, just use of imagination to establish a common ground and a friendly interest.
B |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We get a few every now and again “how’s you”
When not receiving many messages from genuine people then get a dopy message like that , rather disheartening at times . Hey ho on & upwards |
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