FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Men don’t really want fwb

Men don’t really want fwb

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I’ve met a couple guys now who said they wanted regular meets but have drifted away after one or two. Should I be offended, or do some men just prefer novelty?

Interested to hear other people’s experiences?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *aven RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

Same has happened to me. They say they want to be fwb but it doesn't work out x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Men don’t know what they want until they’ve got it, once they’ve got it they want some thing else.

I think that’s part of men never really growing up

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Some do. I think it’s impossible to say whether you’re going to be regular FWBs until you’ve met a couple of times. It could be that it just didn’t feel right for the person or they could, of course, just have said that to meet you! It’s difficult to say. I only ever want one FWB I’m not into meeting lots of people and I wouldn’t want them to either so it can be difficult. Can happen though x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Men don’t know what they want until they’ve got it, once they’ve got it they want some thing else.

I think that’s part of men never really growing up "

Haha don’t think that’s just men to be fair!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *eliWoman over a year ago

I wouldn't be offended by it, no. People can want a regular fwb and things don't quite work out that way with someone. You can't really plan for it to, it either happens or it doesn't. It sort of just happens with me without me asking or thinking *too* much about it (apart from when I get vagxiety about arranging another date).

I do hope you find what you're looking for soon though, x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't. This has happened to me but there's a few who are still in my life. A long term one has occasionally invited me over just for a cuddle in bed and a film. I've had fwbs since my early twenties and they're some of the people I remember most fondly. But I think what you say is true and sometimes men do just say anything to get their dick wet.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I wouldn't be offended by it, no. People can want a regular fwb and things don't quite work out that way with someone. You can't really plan for it to, it either happens or it doesn't. It sort of just happens with me without me asking or thinking *too* much about it (apart from when I get vagxiety about arranging another date).

I do hope you find what you're looking for soon though, x"

Vagxiety!!! That’s going in my Nora dictionary!!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan over a year ago

Aylesbury

I would like a fwb. I'm not good at meeting people so somebody close and on a regular basis would be ideal for me.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *etite HandfulWoman over a year ago

Chester

Some people don't wan to t develop feelings so don't meet too often its understandable when you think about it.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *tsonlysexCouple over a year ago

bedford

"I’ve met a couple guys now who said they wanted regular meets but have drifted away after one or two. Should I be offended, or do some men just prefer novelty?

Interested to hear other people’s experiences?

Looking at your pics really not sure why a guy would not want to meet up regular

But as said us guys are or can be a little confusing or confused

We never always sure what we want

But I have also found that a lot from the local ladies to us on this site

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Some people don't wan to t develop feelings so don't meet too often its understandable when you think about it. "

Makes sense. Never thought about it like that.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Some people don't wan to t develop feelings so don't meet too often its understandable when you think about it. "

Yes that’s true. I understand that. Feelings don’t bother me, I prefer a few feelings to be involved tbh. It’s how people handle that that can become the issue.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks for replies so far, v helpful

I think both being confused about what they want, and wanting to avoid feelings could be explanations.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Some people don't wan to t develop feelings so don't meet too often its understandable when you think about it.

Yes that’s true. I understand that. Feelings don’t bother me, I prefer a few feelings to be involved tbh. It’s how people handle that that can become the issue. "

I’m exactly the same. There’s got to be a little bit of emotion for me to want to see someone again.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *rotic-TouchTV/TS over a year ago

doncaster

I've had this so many times,guys wanting regular but after a couple of meets they drift away then pop back up 6 months later hoping to pick up from where they left it ,it does tend to have a negative affect on me and I find myself blaming myself and feeling unable to keep the interest there ,it's good to see it's not just me

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you're buying shoes or a dress it would be unusual to pick the first one you try ...so it is finding a fab

You or they arent going to know right off so you try a couple time and it maybe doesnt fit, no reflection on either of you. Think fwb is something that evolves if allowed. What do I know tho lol

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *affeine DuskMan over a year ago

Caerphilly

"Some people don't wan to t develop feelings so don't meet too often its understandable when you think about it.

Yes that’s true. I understand that. Feelings don’t bother me, I prefer a few feelings to be involved tbh. It’s how people handle that that can become the issue. "

Agree with that. Communication can break down when there's a flutter of something for many. I'd say it's not gender specific as a rule, but guys are generally a bit worse at conveying that.

Generalising a little, of course. But it's reasonably accurate

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What if they have told you after you have met they are attached? I've met a few people and they have drifted away, I guess they have a guilty conscience then they delete there account!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Some people don't wan to t develop feelings so don't meet too often its understandable when you think about it.

Yes that’s true. I understand that. Feelings don’t bother me, I prefer a few feelings to be involved tbh. It’s how people handle that that can become the issue. "

So much this. I need to like and respect and feel some connection before I want to play. It can turn into love long term, it has for me. But it's not romantic love, it's love like Rachel loves Joey. A guy many, many years ago said to me "You can tell me anything, we're very close. We have sex ffs, you can't get much closer" That to me is a fwb. An actual friend that you also have sex with.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Has it never been the other way round OP? Maybe look at your recruitment program and interview process? I think a lot of guys would be happy with FWB. Multiple meets and all the drama and faffing that goes with that is hard work when you have a busy life and responsibilities etc...

I guess there are plenty of dudes who'll way whatever to to get a shag because it's such hard work apparently as a guy (it's really not, but.....

), but then what's the value in a lie of a shag... ?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *eviant KnightMan over a year ago

Norton

"Some people don't wan to t develop feelings so don't meet too often its understandable when you think about it.

Yes that’s true. I understand that. Feelings don’t bother me, I prefer a few feelings to be involved tbh. It’s how people handle that that can become the issue. "

It can be a difficult balance between enough of a connection that you can't wait to get your hands on each other when you see them but not develop any emotional attachment. If its just sex then there needs to be something different or more to it to keep drawing people back

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Some people don't wan to t develop feelings so don't meet too often its understandable when you think about it. "

This happened to me, so I called it off

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have been with my FWB on and off for 6yrs it's only recently that we both noticed we had stronger feelings towards each other than we realised, we now live together.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Has it never been the other way round OP? Maybe look at your recruitment program and interview process? I think a lot of guys would be happy with FWB. Multiple meets and all the drama and faffing that goes with that is hard work when you have a busy life and responsibilities etc...

I guess there are plenty of dudes who'll way whatever to to get a shag because it's such hard work apparently as a guy (it's really not, but.....

), but then what's the value in a lie of a shag... ?

Way?

Say*

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ily WhiteWoman over a year ago

I don't think you can force a FWB relationship, it's something that just happens when you have that click. I do believe that some men do want an FWB, but not everyone you meet will feel the same as you, and won't want to meet again for whatever reason.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

It certainly does happen. I had an FWB for a bout a year. We would have continued as well except for a significant change in our circumstances. Luke

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Some people don't wan to t develop feelings so don't meet too often its understandable when you think about it.

Yes that’s true. I understand that. Feelings don’t bother me, I prefer a few feelings to be involved tbh. It’s how people handle that that can become the issue.

Agree with that. Communication can break down when there's a flutter of something for many. I'd say it's not gender specific as a rule, but guys are generally a bit worse at conveying that.

Generalising a little, of course. But it's reasonably accurate"

It seems like a big taboo on here. Personally unless I feel something for someone I can’t have sex with them regularly. It doesn’t work for me. I get that some can though. I really think it depends on the type of person you are and how you deal with things. I know that I don’t and never will want more than a FWB relationship. I’m happy with my life and don’t want anyone else in it permanently (ie a proper relationship). I know I’ll never budge on that no matter what. Doesn’t mean I can’t have feelings for someone though. I love mine to bits and I hope it carries on forever to be honest but I’ll never be taking him to my mums for Christmas dinner!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I genuinely would love a fwb... met someone 4/5 times but then life changed... no longer worked as a regular arrangement... things change sometimes

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *eyFife2020Man over a year ago

St. Andrews

I like to have some feelings for the person i am with and think it makes the encounter more intense and enjoyable if you look for regular fun, so that would be a bonus than off putting

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *a LunaWoman over a year ago

South Wales

I’ve not had a problem with consistent regular meets but to be fair i do talk for AGES before i meet someone so they are probably milking me (oh er) for all the waffling they’ve have to endure to get in my knickers

If a man doesn’t mind you chatting general shit to him daily then he’ll probably be a stayer. If it’s just sex chat then they will be highly likely to fuck off once you’ve had the sex.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I love to talk to people, in general, and get to know them on a deeper level. I’m also naturally warm and friendly. I think men sometimes mistake that for neediness and assume I’m going to trap them in a relationship.

Except I know myself and I know I do not, categorically, want a relationship right now. But I do want a good friend I can fuck

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Honestly wish I could find something more than a one off but it's difficult.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’ve not had a problem with consistent regular meets but to be fair i do talk for AGES before i meet someone so they are probably milking me (oh er) for all the waffling they’ve have to endure to get in my knickers

If a man doesn’t mind you chatting general shit to him daily then he’ll probably be a stayer. If it’s just sex chat then they will be highly likely to fuck off once you’ve had the sex.

Yes. Definitely

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

If a man doesn’t mind you chatting general shit to him daily then he’ll probably be a stayer. If it’s just sex chat then they will be highly likely to fuck off once you’ve had the sex.

Yes I’ve noticed this too x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *hampagne_Supernova_91Man over a year ago

Manchester

"Some people don't wan to t develop feelings so don't meet too often its understandable when you think about it. "

Good point here. Its happened where a few of my Fwbs have developed feelings and there was one where I developed feelings myself, in that scenario she did say some words that Fwb shouldn't really use with that sort of agreement. Messed with my head abit unfortunately!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I love to talk to people, in general, and get to know them on a deeper level. I’m also naturally warm and friendly. I think men sometimes mistake that for neediness and assume I’m going to trap them in a relationship.

Except I know myself and I know I do not, categorically, want a relationship right now. But I do want a good friend I can fuck

I’d say just be honest. I always have been. From the very beginning. Most of it was on my profile. Ie: only looking for one person, I don’t share etc etc. Then at least everyone knows where they stand. I got a lot of what are you doing on here it’s a swingers site etc etc. So what. If you know exactly what you’re looking for then tell them, if they don’t like it they’ll move on. If everyone was just honest with what they’re looking for without being embarrassed or worried about putting people off it would be much easier x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't think it's anything to do with you to be honest, you're stunning.

With this site and other dating sites the women hold most of the power, so when a woman that looks like you states FWB as a preference then guys more or less agree to that condition, sometimes even convincing themselves that's what they want.

As someone has already said you can't really force a friendship.

Conversation is like a dance, there are several dances out there and no two individuals can know all the moves. Some people just won't have chemistry outside the bedroom or enough for repeat performances.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

They probably had a missus and used fwb to get you in bed

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Tbh OP I don't get it either. My only experience and conclusions are that is sods law !! As soon as I've ever found someone the other moves away or the other finds a partner and leaves fab all together. You just never really know what the other is searching for sadly.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *eliWoman over a year ago

"It seems like a big taboo on here. Personally unless I feel something for someone I can’t have sex with them regularly. It doesn’t work for me. I get that some can though. I really think it depends on the type of person you are and how you deal with things. I know that I don’t and never will want more than a FWB relationship. I’m happy with my life and don’t want anyone else in it permanently (ie a proper relationship). I know I’ll never budge on that no matter what. Doesn’t mean I can’t have feelings for someone though. I love mine to bits and I hope it carries on forever to be honest but I’ll never be taking him to my mums for Christmas dinner! "

I'd agree with all of this (maybe not the relationship thing!). It's such a taboo thing on here, it really is. I feel a love of some sort for all I meet regularly, I wouldn't be able to meet them if I didn't. I like the affection and intimacy and want that closeness and openness with someone. That's not to say everyone I meet I want that to happen with, nor that I have control of if it does or doesn't.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

All the best sex I have ever have involved trust, communication, enthusiasm and respect.

These things are earned and take time.

Random orgies and loads of playdates are also great fun...

But intimacy and trust ultimately always wears the crown

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It’s better not to judge anyone or make assumptions.

Everyone has their own reasons.

I have had feb’s and quite liked the idea but perhaps there was something missing and some people don’t know how to express that matter and may be afraid to discuss in case they offend the other party.

Some people can’t take rejection or truth easily.

OP it’s not fair to finger point at men as women have done the same to me too after the first meet, after a few meets and even after months. They just vanish, block and disappear without even an explanation.

Women give feedback about men and men give feedback about women. We are all equally guilty. No one is perfect. I certainly am not.

I’d love to have a fwb who has those fun qualities that make me tick.

I could go on and write a book about this.

Please don’t categorise us guys like this.

Men are as bad as women and women are as bad as men. It takes two hands to clap

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *rontier PsychiatristMan over a year ago

Coventry

Women can drift away too. Many people will say they want a fwb when they really mean they want someone they can keep on a string while they hunt for new/greener pastures. People can get bored when they have an endless candy shop but like to have a familiar plan B or C. Also fwb's can be a bit of a ambiguous land which they find hard to navigate. You know better where you stand with a fuck buddy or serious relationship (not that fwb cant also be serious). I think relationships fall over a huge spectrum but many people like their world in neat little controlled boxes. So just because someone likes the idea of fwb's in practice they may struggle with it. And sometimes peoples lives change down the road. And often people look for fwb's at very transitional times in their lives. Also if they move forward to find a girlfriend or they try serious dating this can also put the kibosh the whole thing because the every day world and people generally frown on no monogamy. So don't take it personal, it's the nature of the beast sometimes.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

hi any lady want fab?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

I've had the other side of the coin when it's meant to be NSA, then the green eyed monster raises its head.

It's a bluddy minefield this FAB business

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've had the other side of the coin when it's meant to be NSA, then the green eyed monster raises its head.

It's a bluddy minefield this FAB business

Me too. And with a woman! It’s definitely NSA only with a woman for me. Wasn’t a pleasant experience. This is why everyone needs to know the score from the beginning.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ok cool

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *riar BelisseWoman over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

I think the definition of a f*ck buddy and an actual friend with benefits is blurred lots of the time with mis communication between the people involved.

I have a special fwb and various fb and we are all very clear on our communication and this works for us.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *razytimesinloveCouple over a year ago

SW Scotland

We’ve encountered a fwb couple, but the male is just using the female so he can meet other females/couples.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

These things are difficult to arrange and settle on both sides. What are the boundaries, what does it mean, are you compatible?

I think some people do lie about what they want, but others are also just holding out for the right arrangement.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

"I’ve met a couple guys now who said they wanted regular meets but have drifted away after one or two. Should I be offended, or do some men just prefer novelty?

Interested to hear other people’s experiences?

People come and go (no pun) for various reasons, it's just life. My longest fwb I've been seeing now for 3 1/2 years, most last for several months, but when you make a connection with someone it's great to enjoy it for as long as it lasts. One-offs are exciting, and have their place, but I prefer getting to know someone, and what really makes them tick. Variety is the spice of life, but I'm always pleased when someone asks me back for more

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We’ve encountered a fwb couple, but the male is just using the female so he can meet other females/couples. "

That can be soul destroying. That's my single biggest hard limit, just the hint of someone expecting me to find or provide another woman and you're done. If you can't find it on your own then you're no use to me.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *hank you sirMan over a year ago

colchester

"I’ve met a couple guys now who said they wanted regular meets but have drifted away after one or two. Should I be offended, or do some men just prefer novelty?

Interested to hear other people’s experiences?

Firstly they've got to be crazy looking at you.

But maybe those guys then got into a committed relationship, or perhaps moved away, or maybe even moved on to someone else.

Each of us can only speak for ourselves but I wouldn't take it personally if I were you, you've got plenty going g for you

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

And then You go and spoil it all

By saying somethin' stupid like, "I love you"

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *razytimesinloveCouple over a year ago

SW Scotland

"We’ve encountered a fwb couple, but the male is just using the female so he can meet other females/couples.

Was really off putting when she explained the situation.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *hunky GentMan over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

I'd like a fwb, but the first stepping stones are finding a friend that's sexually compatible, that can also match within each others schedules.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Fuck I’d settle for just a friend hhaha

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We’ve encountered a fwb couple, but the male is just using the female so he can meet other females/couples.

Was really off putting when she explained the situation. "

I've been at fetish parties where men have sent a woman off round the room asking women to play with him. Im not going to judge anyone for doing anything but to me there is no class in that. Not even a trace.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We’re they single ?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Definitely don't take offence to it. Lots of single men want variety, and for some, being a regular playmate can feel like your in some sort of relationship

You're gorgeous anyways, and I'm sure you get plenty of interest to take over those who you expected to be regular x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

"We’ve encountered a fwb couple, but the male is just using the female so he can meet other females/couples.

Was really off putting when she explained the situation.

Lmao! That's like back in the school playground again with "My mate fancies you....."

So many forum posts from couples giving single guys in clubs a hard time, when you know the hubby wouldn't have the bottle to visit one by himself....

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Man's version of FWB- random text at 2am "empty mi balls luv!"

Woman's version of FWB- friends who talk like human beings, respect each other, friendship.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Man's version of FWB- random text at 2am "empty mi balls luv!"

Woman's version of FWB- friends who talk like human beings, respect each other, friendship."

I have the latter and my fwb is as happy with it as I am.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *r MoriartyMan over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)

I don't think you can go into meeting someone with the plan that they will become a fwb, it's just something that happens with the right person.

Meet once and if it's good meet again and maybe again and maybe again, before you know if you'll have a fwb. Sometimes it isn't right for one person or the other so it doesn't progress to a fwb situation so just accept it for what it was and move on.

I met plenty of people, some multiple times before I met someone who it just worked with.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I don't think you can go into meeting someone with the plan that they will become a fwb, it's just something that happens with the right person.

I met plenty of people, some multiple times before I met someone who it just worked with.

Exactly this.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We’ve encountered a fwb couple, but the male is just using the female so he can meet other females/couples.

Was really off putting when she explained the situation.

Lmao! That's like back in the school playground again with "My mate fancies you....."

So many forum posts from couples giving single guys in clubs a hard time, when you know the hubby wouldn't have the bottle to visit one by himself....

Much truth in this

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I need more than a one off for what I got planned ??

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I don't think you can go into meeting someone with the plan that they will become a fwb, it's just something that happens with the right person.

I met plenty of people, some multiple times before I met someone who it just worked with.

Exactly this. "

This thread has been so helpful. I think I need to start seeing it like this rather than having expectations, so I don’t end up feeling rejected!

I’ve had one guy string me along though, say he wants to meet again but then never arrange it. I wish people were more up front!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't think you can go into meeting someone with the plan that they will become a fwb, it's just something that happens with the right person.

I met plenty of people, some multiple times before I met someone who it just worked with.

Exactly this.

This thread has been so helpful. I think I need to start seeing it like this rather than having expectations, so I don’t end up feeling rejected!

I’ve had one guy string me along though, say he wants to meet again but then never arrange it. I wish people were more up front!"

He probably didn't want to hurt your feelings, and most likely wanted to leave the door open for future meets.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *JohnMan over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

I'd say it's perfectly normal, and it would be strange for it to not go like that most of the time.

The important part of fwb is the f. I don't know how it is for others, but I don't make friends quickly or easily. It takes time. Sometimes it doesn't work out. There's enough promise at the start to make it worth trying for a while, but if it isn't right it will fizzle out.

Eventually you stumble on the right person, and they stick. And that's wonderful.

I never go out looking for fwbs. But I have enough sense to welcome them into my life when they appear.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've giving up looking for a fwb, I'm at that stage if it happens it happens

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've giving up looking for a fwb, I'm at that stage if it happens it happens"

That’s exactly what I did then it happened!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Man's version of FWB- random text at 2am "empty mi balls luv!"

Woman's version of FWB- friends who talk like human beings, respect each other, friendship."

To be fair we’re both the second option

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'd say it's perfectly normal, and it would be strange for it to not go like that most of the time.

Eventually you stumble on the right person, and they stick. And that's wonderful.

I never go out looking for fwbs. But I have enough sense to welcome them into my life when they appear."

I could have written this. High five.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *essie.Woman over a year ago

Serendipity

I think some people of both sexes are always looking for the next shiny thing. And they will say whatever they think will get a shag.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ocoTemptationMan over a year ago

london

Interesting topic,

I generally put most of my energy into meeting couples so by definition finding a fwb is a bit harder for me than most.

I should really put more effort into looking for someone like that because it would be nice to spend quality time with someone I'm having fun with as well as deliciously indulgent sex.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *andy_tomMan over a year ago

wolverhampton

I would like a friend with benefits, ,

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

"I’ve met a couple guys now who said they wanted regular meets but have drifted away after one or two. Should I be offended, or do some men just prefer novelty?

Interested to hear other people’s experiences?

If someone wants to see you, they'll see you.

If they're saying they want to see you again but then go distant or start making all kinds of excuses not to, then take heed of that.

Sometimes it's hard because people give out mixed messages.

Go with your gut feeling. Be brave,be clear in what you want and keep looking until you find just that

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't think you can look at this in that way or say it's a male thing either. You meet someone expecting it to be a one-off giving your best self. If you like eachother you do it again, it's as simple as that. Affection will grow its natural but it is just that, doesn't have to mean anything more.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ocoTemptationMan over a year ago

london

"I’ve met a couple guys now who said they wanted regular meets but have drifted away after one or two. Should I be offended, or do some men just prefer novelty?

Interested to hear other people’s experiences?

If someone wants to see you, they'll see you.

If they're saying they want to see you again but then go distant or start making all kinds of excuses not to, then take heed of that.

Sometimes it's hard because people give out mixed messages.

Go with your gut feeling. Be brave,be clear in what you want and keep looking until you find just that

Wise words

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *wloverMan over a year ago

evesham

Of course we want fwb, unfortunately sometimes it's not always possible to stay in contact with a certain person or meets are hard to organise due to work commitments and things like that, I would love a fwb but due to working nights I find it hard to get regular meets unless they are willing to either have a car meet on my way to work or they are willing to meet me at work

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would love a FWB but I’ve only ever had one off meetings. That isn’t saying much though as I’ve only had 2 of those in 10 years

. I’d quite like variety too

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Gosh

Both men and women do this, although I’ve heard more the men.

They say they do ... woman then stakes her claim ... men run

The irony is - most are in other relationships anyway

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ust PeachyWoman over a year ago

Prestonish

Ah! Seems the op either gave up and went unlos or, hopefully, found what she was looking for and went unlos!

Does anyone remember who it was? X

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No I want a wife

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *r MoriartyMan over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)

"I don't think you can look at this in that way or say it's a male thing either. You meet someone expecting it to be a one-off giving your best self. If you like eachother you do it again, it's as simple as that. Affection will grow its natural but it is just that, doesn't have to mean anything more."

This

You can't go looking for it or you'll be forever disappointed. You have to just meet people you like and if with one of them it really works for you both then keep doing it. Given time it can develop into something more but much more often than not it won't.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've never looked for a fwb they just happen and tend to last a few years but never been interested in the fab FB/BWF (fwb) thing, I just don't get it

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We've both looked for this over the last 3 years, Scooby having more possibilities than me of course, but never found anyone who are honest in saying what they want and not moving the goal posts, having complicated vanilla lives with drama or can't deliver dates and times of a regular say monthly meet structure. We've given up trying to be honest, hence guys can't contact us now.

The time we've spent looking at profiles to find suitable people sexually and socially in 2 years meeting them and with initial play, only to find they can't fulfill what they said they could, is so frustrating. Heh ho that's fab

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

» Add a new message to this topic