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What is love
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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What is love ? Myself personally have only been in love twice in my life, both times unrequited love. Both had narcissistic traits. I adored both and I fell very hard which I think has left lots of emotional scars for me.
My question is what is love and have you ever had unconditional love ? where both of you feel the same.
I hope one day I feel loved as much as I give. And my past hasn’t conditioned me too much for me to not able to give myself again without fear of being hurt. Sometimes I have insecurities which stop me from even meeting let alone beginning a relationship and I wander if I can ever get past this. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Only been in love once. With my ex. He was abusive though so not even sure if it was proper love. I love both my children unconditionally. Hopefully it will happen to me in the future x"
Yes I know how you feel. I’d love to feel loved back one day as much as I give love. I’ve never ever felt loved x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Love is when you can't wait to be with her, even if it's going to Asda, I love it when something exciting happens, because I get to tell my wife about it.
Love is for every day, not just good days, but shitty Tuesdays when it's just boring. |
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"Only been in love once. With my ex. He was abusive though so not even sure if it was proper love. I love both my children unconditionally. Hopefully it will happen to me in the future x
Yes I know how you feel. I’d love to feel loved back one day as much as I give love. I’ve never ever felt loved x"
I'll give you advice, that I'm crap at taking myself. One day it will happen. You will find someone who is like the other half of you. It will happen when you least expect or want it to.... or so I'm told x  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Only been in love once. With my ex. He was abusive though so not even sure if it was proper love. I love both my children unconditionally. Hopefully it will happen to me in the future x
Yes I know how you feel. I’d love to feel loved back one day as much as I give love. I’ve never ever felt loved x
I'll give you advice, that I'm crap at taking myself. One day it will happen. You will find someone who is like the other half of you. It will happen when you least expect or want it to.... or so I'm told x "
I hear this all the time also. It’s my birthday today and I’m just pondering kind of. I also hear all the time OMG how are you single your beautiful or similar. Life’s not like that. Kinda makes me feel shit, almost to the point of I feel I’m damaged or something up with me. Everyone around me is surrounded by happiness and partners who love them and I struggle daily on an emotional and physical level to make it through the week.
I’m being emotional , sorry. |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
Welsh Lass |
I had my great love from 18 to 27. We were best friends and lovers.
I broke up with him (for good reasons) but it took me 4 years and my first bout of depression to get over the loss of him.
He didn’t play games emotionally. He just loved me. And i felt secure, adored, and never had to question it or doubt it because you could just feel it (if that makes sense?). And it was mutual.
Sadly i’ve dated a few bellends since him, and i’m left with trust issues. Not sure i could ever allow myself to love someone that deeply now. |
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Chemically speaking a dopamine response to wxternal stimulus from interacting with someone in a pleasurable way. The more we reinforce this with psychological as well as physical stimulus the more ingrained the response is. Unrequited love is when our brains give off the dopamine response from spending time with someone we like sexually and is no different to requited love.
Biochemically love and obsession have a lot of similarities. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Awww OP
Yes, once properly, and when you find it you realise all that shit you felt before was nonsense, it's just like you're connected at all times by some mysterious invisible but unbreakable thread and being apart physically hurts.....
.....it's all that "he's more myself than I" kinda shiz you read about but never realised could exist.....  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Once with my abusive ex husband then again with my little ones dad.
Dont think I'm destined for a third so I'm quite defensive and put up a lot of walls.
Works for me xx"
I put up walls emotional and physical, I’m always smiling and happy go lucky, but I’m not really deep inside. I’m very sensitive to my surroundings and I feel pain easily. I went to CBT after my last relationship and therapy as I was self harming.
I don’t have family and maybe Xmas is a big trigger for me as it’s focused on family and being surrounded by loved ones.
I just want to be able to one day feel like I’m loved. |
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I have been in love twice. With Ailsa since I was a teenager, and with one other lady who I met when I was much older. Most of the time when we talk about love, when everything is amazing and you can’t wait to see each other, what we are really talking about is lust.
You can only know if you love someone when everything goes wrong. If you are prepared to be selfless, to sacrifice something of yourself, to support them and care for them and stand beside them no matter what, then you can say it is love.
And you only know if you are loved in return if the other person is prepared to do the same for you.
It’s easy to believe in the possibility of love when everything is great. You can only know for certain if it is love when everything goes wrong. |
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Been in love once, and I'm lucky to call him my other half. He loves me as much a I love him. Together we make each other better than individuals. We are each others safe place and hideaway from the world. I feel his presence even when we're not together as I know he's with me mentally. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have been in love twice. With Ailsa since I was a teenager, and with one other lady who I met when I was much older. Most of the time when we talk about love, when everything is amazing and you can’t wait to see each other, what we are really talking about is lust.
You can only know if you love someone when everything goes wrong. If you are prepared to be selfless, to sacrifice something of yourself, to support them and care for them and stand beside them no matter what, then you can say it is love.
And you only know if you are loved in return if the other person is prepared to do the same for you.
It’s easy to believe in the possibility of love when everything is great. You can only know for certain if it is love when everything goes wrong. "
I sacrificed everything for my first love (my kids dad) he resented me being in uni so I deferred. Now he is very successful and wealthy and I’m scratching for money most weeks. I’m very resentful. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Been in love once, and I'm lucky to call him my other half. He loves me as much a I love him. Together we make each other better than individuals. We are each others safe place and hideaway from the world. I feel his presence even when we're not together as I know he's with me mentally. "
I want this one day. X |
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"I hear this all the time also. It’s my birthday today and I’m just pondering kind of. I also hear all the time OMG how are you single your beautiful or similar. Life’s not like that. Kinda makes me feel shit, almost to the point of I feel I’m damaged or something up with me. Everyone around me is surrounded by happiness and partners who love them and I struggle daily on an emotional and physical level to make it through the week.
I’m being emotional, sorry"
Don't apologise for having feelings.
If it's any consolation, I usually get down and introspective on birthdays, because it's a personal marker for things having gone right or wrong in the past year. For me, it's usually a feeling of another year wasted.
And you're not alone in feeling damaged inside - I feel it often, and it destroyed my last relationship. We went from her sending WhatsApp pictures with definitions of "soulmate" on, to her ending things because I'm so impossible to be around 
Like you, I hope to experience that all-enveloping love that eclipses everything that's gone before once in my lifetime.
Sending hugs x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been in love once, and I'm lucky to call him my other half. He loves me as much a I love him. Together we make each other better than individuals. We are each others safe place and hideaway from the world. I feel his presence even when we're not together as I know he's with me mentally. "
You're both really lucky  |
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I had 10 years of unconditional love with my ex husband. Still love him dearly as a friend now 11 years later. We had a bond and friendship that got us through the best and darkest of times and we lived a crazy busy life without ever doubting what the other thought or felt. That level of trust and respect is impossible to fake so the standard for anyone being in my life is very high now and I’d rather be alone than with an imitation. It’s one of those.. when you know you know some combinations are just magical x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I hear this all the time also. It’s my birthday today and I’m just pondering kind of. I also hear all the time OMG how are you single your beautiful or similar. Life’s not like that. Kinda makes me feel shit, almost to the point of I feel I’m damaged or something up with me. Everyone around me is surrounded by happiness and partners who love them and I struggle daily on an emotional and physical level to make it through the week.
I’m being emotional, sorry
Don't apologise for having feelings.
If it's any consolation, I usually get down and introspective on birthdays, because it's a personal marker for things having gone right or wrong in the past year. For me, it's usually a feeling of another year wasted.
And you're not alone in feeling damaged inside - I feel it often, and it destroyed my last relationship. We went from her sending WhatsApp pictures with definitions of "soulmate" on, to her ending things because I'm so impossible to be around
Like you, I hope to experience that all-enveloping love that eclipses everything that's gone before once in my lifetime.
Sending hugs x"
Oh that’s just made me cry as it’s resonates with me |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I had 10 years of unconditional love with my ex husband. Still love him dearly as a friend now 11 years later. We had a bond and friendship that got us through the best and darkest of times and we lived a crazy busy life without ever doubting what the other thought or felt. That level of trust and respect is impossible to fake so the standard for anyone being in my life is very high now and I’d rather be alone than with an imitation. It’s one of those.. when you know you know some combinations are just magical x "
Yes I agree about rather being alone. I’ve met men and I could of easily fell into a relationship with but they had signs of being narcissistic and I closed the door.
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"I have been in love twice. With Ailsa since I was a teenager, and with one other lady who I met when I was much older. Most of the time when we talk about love, when everything is amazing and you can’t wait to see each other, what we are really talking about is lust.
You can only know if you love someone when everything goes wrong. If you are prepared to be selfless, to sacrifice something of yourself, to support them and care for them and stand beside them no matter what, then you can say it is love.
And you only know if you are loved in return if the other person is prepared to do the same for you.
It’s easy to believe in the possibility of love when everything is great. You can only know for certain if it is love when everything goes wrong.
I sacrificed everything for my first love (my kids dad) he resented me being in uni so I deferred. Now he is very successful and wealthy and I’m scratching for money most weeks. I’m very resentful. "
I’m sorry. That’s an awful feeling. Unfortunately the people we fall in love with do not always love us back. Heartbreak is horrible. I feel very lucky that Ailsa loves me in return. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"And outmoded concept, an uneven chemical balance in the brain or just some thought of control devised by society in order to coerce the mating rituals of humanity."
Which means ? I need to “ think different “ how when I’ve been conditioned. Or do you mean my brain needs meds? As in I’m depressed? On both I’d say maybe. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Baby don't hurt me,
Don't hurt me,
No more...
Sorry, somebody once said I Haddaway with words!
"Happy Birthday" beautiful (OP)
Hope you've had a nice day x "
Thank you. X |
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"I had 10 years of unconditional love with my ex husband. Still love him dearly as a friend now 11 years later. We had a bond and friendship that got us through the best and darkest of times and we lived a crazy busy life without ever doubting what the other thought or felt. That level of trust and respect is impossible to fake so the standard for anyone being in my life is very high now and I’d rather be alone than with an imitation. It’s one of those.. when you know you know some combinations are just magical x
Yes I agree about rather being alone. I’ve met men and I could of easily fell into a relationship with but they had signs of being narcissistic and I closed the door.
"
Sometimes it’s as much about knowing what and who you don’t want than what you think you’re looking for. That’s enough for now.. because when the right one rocks up you’ll know |
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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago
Whitley Bay |
Good question OP.
We are love! We each have within us incredible capacity to love and to be loved.
Lots gets mixed up in relationship with another and Our cultures lead us to believe that we will be complete or happy once we have the love of another .. a beautiful thing yes .. but externalising this and therefore creating expectations and fixed ideas got me in alot of trouble in relationships.
I try and see my life's big loves as teachers/mirrors ... especially the painful or toxic ones (there have been some right royal fuck ups). I learnt so much about myself because of them..more than the healthy ones. The only really healthy relationship I need is with myself.. all the rest I'm hoping will fall in to place (eek.. I hope).
Now I like to believe that all the answers and all i need are within me. Not in someone else. I'm more resourceful and less needy this way. I think it leaves me more available to love and to be loved this way. More able to be and let be in my next relationship maybe?? Tho I'm not in any hurry.
I admire lots of couples here who are making conscious choices in their relationships to break the cultural mould. Liberating.
I think I got bit philosophical for a Monday but hey .. it was a good question.
Buddha has some good teachings about love and compassion if you're inclined to peep. I found some of it helpful, but not all.
My teen son called me an old hippy the other day.. he may be right. Hey ho!
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
Happy birthday OP, x
Love for me is what I truly feel for my partner. I thought I was in love a couple of times before but with him it's like all those emotions are magnified and heightened. Sometimes we irritate each other and bicker but I know that whatever happens he'll always be here for me and I for him. He brings out the best in me and gives me hope when things are dark. With him I just know. I doubt myself frequently but he gives me unwavering support and love. He's my best friend and my confidante and cheerleader and lover all rolled into one brilliant package. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What is love
If it's not with you
I know when you're alone you feel it too
In your arms is where I long to be
Cause being with you gives me sanity.
Well this is now stuck in my head |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Happy birthday OP, x
Love for me is what I truly feel for my partner. I thought I was in love a couple of times before but with him it's like all those emotions are magnified and heightened. Sometimes we irritate each other and bicker but I know that whatever happens he'll always be here for me and I for him. He brings out the best in me and gives me hope when things are dark. With him I just know. I doubt myself frequently but he gives me unwavering support and love. He's my best friend and my confidante and cheerleader and lover all rolled into one brilliant package. "
Thankyou. I’ve felt similar in love myself but I’ve never truly felt it back. I’ve always felt it was one sided. X  |
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I've honestly no idea what it is anymore. I spent 10 years of my life with someone I thought I loved and thought loved me. I guess I was wrong and my whole world has come crashing down to be honest.
It hurts. A lot. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Good question OP.
We are love! We each have within us incredible capacity to love and to be loved.
Lots gets mixed up in relationship with another and Our cultures lead us to believe that we will be complete or happy once we have the love of another .. a beautiful thing yes .. but externalising this and therefore creating expectations and fixed ideas got me in alot of trouble in relationships.
I try and see my life's big loves as teachers/mirrors ... especially the painful or toxic ones (there have been some right royal fuck ups). I learnt so much about myself because of them..more than the healthy ones. The only really healthy relationship I need is with myself.. all the rest I'm hoping will fall in to place (eek.. I hope).
Now I like to believe that all the answers and all i need are within me. Not in someone else. I'm more resourceful and less needy this way. I think it leaves me more available to love and to be loved this way. More able to be and let be in my next relationship maybe?? Tho I'm not in any hurry.
I admire lots of couples here who are making conscious choices in their relationships to break the cultural mould. Liberating.
I think I got bit philosophical for a Monday but hey .. it was a good question.
Buddha has some good teachings about love and compassion if you're inclined to peep. I found some of it helpful, but not all.
My teen son called me an old hippy the other day.. he may be right. Hey ho!
"
Great response and thank you. I just feel like my life is running away and I’m growing old. Do you meditate? X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've honestly no idea what it is anymore. I spent 10 years of my life with someone I thought I loved and thought loved me. I guess I was wrong and my whole world has come crashing down to be honest.
It hurts. A lot."
Very much x |
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Personally I think that love is a composite rather than a singular emotion, which is why it comes in many flavours (for family, friends and partners etc.).
It seems to coalesce emotions depending on the recipient (the need to care, encourage, protect, support etc. for family and friends and passion, desire, need and want etc. for partners).
Which is why I think if/when it goes wrong the chemical soup that our brains cook up from all of these emotions become out of balance and we react in the opposite fashion of someone "in love" |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Personally I think that love is a composite rather than a singular emotion, which is why it comes in many flavours (for family, friends and partners etc.).
It seems to coalesce emotions depending on the recipient (the need to care, encourage, protect, support etc. for family and friends and passion, desire, need and want etc. for partners).
Which is why I think if/when it goes wrong the chemical soup that our brains cook up from all of these emotions become out of balance and we react in the opposite fashion of someone "in love""
I agree, however I’m a very philosophical person and wander why someone can love someone one way and only like someone another but show more signs of love with the later? Ie, marriage , security. |
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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago
Whitley Bay |
"Good question OP.
We are love! We each have within us incredible capacity to love and to be loved.
Lots gets mixed up in relationship with another and Our cultures lead us to believe that we will be complete or happy once we have the love of another .. a beautiful thing yes .. but externalising this and therefore creating expectations and fixed ideas got me in alot of trouble in relationships.
I try and see my life's big loves as teachers/mirrors ... especially the painful or toxic ones (there have been some right royal fuck ups). I learnt so much about myself because of them..more than the healthy ones. The only really healthy relationship I need is with myself.. all the rest I'm hoping will fall in to place (eek.. I hope).
Now I like to believe that all the answers and all i need are within me. Not in someone else. I'm more resourceful and less needy this way. I think it leaves me more available to love and to be loved this way. More able to be and let be in my next relationship maybe?? Tho I'm not in any hurry.
I admire lots of couples here who are making conscious choices in their relationships to break the cultural mould. Liberating.
I think I got bit philosophical for a Monday but hey .. it was a good question.
Buddha has some good teachings about love and compassion if you're inclined to peep. I found some of it helpful, but not all.
My teen son called me an old hippy the other day.. he may be right. Hey ho!
Great response and thank you. I just feel like my life is running away and I’m growing old. Do you meditate? X"
Sounds like an amazing place .. you're asking questions and aware of the transitions, feeling stuff. And reflecting. I'm not old but im no spring chicken and I'm feeling alot of relief. It'll be ok, getting older and challenging. Trying not to fight it, can't control it sooooo!?! Ha.
Yes I meditate.. very helpful. It doesn't make life go away or suddenly mean all is peace. But I'm definitely more at peace, even with the ridiculous shiz of life! Better resourced. For now anyway .. any thing could happen!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is love ? Myself personally have only been in love twice in my life, both times unrequited love. Both had narcissistic traits. I adored both and I fell very hard which I think has left lots of emotional scars for me.
My question is what is love and have you ever had unconditional love ? where both of you feel the same.
I hope one day I feel loved as much as I give. And my past hasn’t conditioned me too much for me to not able to give myself again without fear of being hurt. Sometimes I have insecurities which stop me from even meeting let alone beginning a relationship and I wander if I can ever get past this. "
Unconditional love is when you love someone and expect nothing in return. It's often between a parent and child. Love between two people is somewhat conditional (such as being reciprocated).
Unrequited love really sucks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is love ? Myself personally have only been in love twice in my life, both times unrequited love. Both had narcissistic traits. I adored both and I fell very hard which I think has left lots of emotional scars for me.
My question is what is love and have you ever had unconditional love ? where both of you feel the same.
I hope one day I feel loved as much as I give. And my past hasn’t conditioned me too much for me to not able to give myself again without fear of being hurt. Sometimes I have insecurities which stop me from even meeting let alone beginning a relationship and I wander if I can ever get past this. "
Unconditional love will only ever be for my children. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Only been in love once. With my ex. He was abusive though so not even sure if it was proper love. I love both my children unconditionally. Hopefully it will happen to me in the future x
Yes I know how you feel. I’d love to feel loved back one day as much as I give love. I’ve never ever felt loved x"
I know how that feels. |
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"Personally I think that love is a composite rather than a singular emotion, which is why it comes in many flavours (for family, friends and partners etc.).
It seems to coalesce emotions depending on the recipient (the need to care, encourage, protect, support etc. for family and friends and passion, desire, need and want etc. for partners).
Which is why I think if/when it goes wrong the chemical soup that our brains cook up from all of these emotions become out of balance and we react in the opposite fashion of someone "in love"
I agree, however I’m a very philosophical person and wander why someone can love someone one way and only like someone another but show more signs of love with the later? Ie, marriage , security. "
In this I cannot help you, at the moment there are two people in my life, one would like a relationship and has been kind to offer me her heart, and I have explained it's just not me. The other is a glorious friend who sleeps in front of my fire, invites me over for dinner and just has something I desire, yet we remain at arms length.
Part of me thinks I should be with the first one, they are kind and loving and I truly care for them and I see a future of sorts with them but the other part wants the second one because she fires my veins in a way I cannot describe.
Like you the second one shows me love without saying it. The first one says they love me without ever showing it and I am too confused for it all so I hide from both |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Only been in love once. With my ex. He was abusive though so not even sure if it was proper love. I love both my children unconditionally. Hopefully it will happen to me in the future x
Yes I know how you feel. I’d love to feel loved back one day as much as I give love. I’ve never ever felt loved x
I'll give you advice, that I'm crap at taking myself. One day it will happen. You will find someone who is like the other half of you. It will happen when you least expect or want it to.... or so I'm told x
I hear this all the time also. It’s my birthday today and I’m just pondering kind of. I also hear all the time OMG how are you single your beautiful or similar. Life’s not like that. Kinda makes me feel shit, almost to the point of I feel I’m damaged or something up with me. Everyone around me is surrounded by happiness and partners who love them and I struggle daily on an emotional and physical level to make it through the week.
I’m being emotional , sorry. "
My birthday is one day of the year that reinforces I'm not worthy of anyone. I dread this day of the year. |
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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago
Whitley Bay |
"I've honestly no idea what it is anymore. I spent 10 years of my life with someone I thought I loved and thought loved me. I guess I was wrong and my whole world has come crashing down to be honest.
It hurts. A lot."
Ouch xxx xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What is love ? Myself personally have only been in love twice in my life, both times unrequited love. Both had narcissistic traits. I adored both and I fell very hard which I think has left lots of emotional scars for me.
My question is what is love and have you ever had unconditional love ? where both of you feel the same.
I hope one day I feel loved as much as I give. And my past hasn’t conditioned me too much for me to not able to give myself again without fear of being hurt. Sometimes I have insecurities which stop me from even meeting let alone beginning a relationship and I wander if I can ever get past this.
Unconditional love will only ever be for my children. x "
I know how you feel my kids have this from me. In fact I’m here now because of them. Their happiness and wellbeing comes above mine. But as my son is growing older and leaving me slowly I’m beginning to wander.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Only been in love once. With my ex. He was abusive though so not even sure if it was proper love. I love both my children unconditionally. Hopefully it will happen to me in the future x
Yes I know how you feel. I’d love to feel loved back one day as much as I give love. I’ve never ever felt loved x
I'll give you advice, that I'm crap at taking myself. One day it will happen. You will find someone who is like the other half of you. It will happen when you least expect or want it to.... or so I'm told x
I hear this all the time also. It’s my birthday today and I’m just pondering kind of. I also hear all the time OMG how are you single your beautiful or similar. Life’s not like that. Kinda makes me feel shit, almost to the point of I feel I’m damaged or something up with me. Everyone around me is surrounded by happiness and partners who love them and I struggle daily on an emotional and physical level to make it through the week.
I’m being emotional , sorry.
My birthday is one day of the year that reinforces I'm not worthy of anyone. I dread this day of the year. "
Same. Hope your ok xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What is love ? Myself personally have only been in love twice in my life, both times unrequited love. Both had narcissistic traits. I adored both and I fell very hard which I think has left lots of emotional scars for me.
My question is what is love and have you ever had unconditional love ? where both of you feel the same.
I hope one day I feel loved as much as I give. And my past hasn’t conditioned me too much for me to not able to give myself again without fear of being hurt. Sometimes I have insecurities which stop me from even meeting let alone beginning a relationship and I wander if I can ever get past this.
Unconditional love will only ever be for my children. x
I know how you feel my kids have this from me. In fact I’m here now because of them. Their happiness and wellbeing comes above mine. But as my son is growing older and leaving me slowly I’m beginning to wander.
"
My eldest has a life and a house of their own and it hasn’t changed a bit. I don’t think it ever will with children. Do you really mean unconditional though? I don’t think I could love any man unconditionally x |
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I thought i was in love before i met my husband. I was very scarred through years of a horrible upbringing. He brought out a life force in me i didnt know existed. He challenged me to break through all the boundaries and walls i had built up for myself as protection. To even think about losing him makes me bawl (so i try not to) he is my best friend and soul mate. i know he will always give me an honest opinion even if its something i probably dont want to hear. he has my back through countless hard times over the last few years and ive had his and weve come out the other side stronger than ever. we fight but rarely (usually after a lot of sleep deprived nights) i miss him even if hes only gone to the gym or work. we can talk about stupid random shit.I still fancy him as much as the day i first met him. I fully believe there is a true love out there for everyone, some just find it earlier than others And you do it will be blissful. Chin up my darling, that person is out there somewhere for you xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Personally I think that love is a composite rather than a singular emotion, which is why it comes in many flavours (for family, friends and partners etc.).
It seems to coalesce emotions depending on the recipient (the need to care, encourage, protect, support etc. for family and friends and passion, desire, need and want etc. for partners).
Which is why I think if/when it goes wrong the chemical soup that our brains cook up from all of these emotions become out of balance and we react in the opposite fashion of someone "in love"
I agree, however I’m a very philosophical person and wander why someone can love someone one way and only like someone another but show more signs of love with the later? Ie, marriage , security.
In this I cannot help you, at the moment there are two people in my life, one would like a relationship and has been kind to offer me her heart, and I have explained it's just not me. The other is a glorious friend who sleeps in front of my fire, invites me over for dinner and just has something I desire, yet we remain at arms length.
Part of me thinks I should be with the first one, they are kind and loving and I truly care for them and I see a future of sorts with them but the other part wants the second one because she fires my veins in a way I cannot describe.
Like you the second one shows me love without saying it. The first one says they love me without ever showing it and I am too confused for it all so I hide from both"
Life is a show of emotions I
Guess. It’s like a big rehearsal and we all put on a front and show different roles. I’m sure a psychologist once researched this phenomenon. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What is love ? Myself personally have only been in love twice in my life, both times unrequited love. Both had narcissistic traits. I adored both and I fell very hard which I think has left lots of emotional scars for me.
My question is what is love and have you ever had unconditional love ? where both of you feel the same.
I hope one day I feel loved as much as I give. And my past hasn’t conditioned me too much for me to not able to give myself again without fear of being hurt. Sometimes I have insecurities which stop me from even meeting let alone beginning a relationship and I wander if I can ever get past this.
Unconditional love will only ever be for my children. x
I know how you feel my kids have this from me. In fact I’m here now because of them. Their happiness and wellbeing comes above mine. But as my son is growing older and leaving me slowly I’m beginning to wander.
My eldest has a life and a house of their own and it hasn’t changed a bit. I don’t think it ever will with children. Do you really mean unconditional though? I don’t think I could love any man unconditionally x"
Your probably right Nora! Maybe I don’t mean unconditionally. As yes my children are the only ones I love unconditionally
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What is love ? Myself personally have only been in love twice in my life, both times unrequited love. Both had narcissistic traits. I adored both and I fell very hard which I think has left lots of emotional scars for me.
My question is what is love and have you ever had unconditional love ? where both of you feel the same.
I hope one day I feel loved as much as I give. And my past hasn’t conditioned me too much for me to not able to give myself again without fear of being hurt. Sometimes I have insecurities which stop me from even meeting let alone beginning a relationship and I wander if I can ever get past this.
Unconditional love will only ever be for my children. x
I know how you feel my kids have this from me. In fact I’m here now because of them. Their happiness and wellbeing comes above mine. But as my son is growing older and leaving me slowly I’m beginning to wander.
My eldest has a life and a house of their own and it hasn’t changed a bit. I don’t think it ever will with children. Do you really mean unconditional though? I don’t think I could love any man unconditionally x
Your probably right Nora! Maybe I don’t mean unconditionally. As yes my children are the only ones I love unconditionally
"
To be “in love” with each other I guess is what you mean and there’s nothing better if and when you find that x |
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"Personally I think that love is a composite rather than a singular emotion, which is why it comes in many flavours (for family, friends and partners etc.).
It seems to coalesce emotions depending on the recipient (the need to care, encourage, protect, support etc. for family and friends and passion, desire, need and want etc. for partners).
Which is why I think if/when it goes wrong the chemical soup that our brains cook up from all of these emotions become out of balance and we react in the opposite fashion of someone "in love"
I agree, however I’m a very philosophical person and wander why someone can love someone one way and only like someone another but show more signs of love with the later? Ie, marriage , security.
In this I cannot help you, at the moment there are two people in my life, one would like a relationship and has been kind to offer me her heart, and I have explained it's just not me. The other is a glorious friend who sleeps in front of my fire, invites me over for dinner and just has something I desire, yet we remain at arms length.
Part of me thinks I should be with the first one, they are kind and loving and I truly care for them and I see a future of sorts with them but the other part wants the second one because she fires my veins in a way I cannot describe.
Like you the second one shows me love without saying it. The first one says they love me without ever showing it and I am too confused for it all so I hide from both
Life is a show of emotions I
Guess. It’s like a big rehearsal and we all put on a front and show different roles. I’m sure a psychologist once researched this phenomenon. "
The reality is that soon i will run away from both of them. I want to release the first one, so that she can find someone special, but she stays regardless of what I say and I feel a pain with that. With the second one, I want to go back to the time when I didn't feel so strongly towards her so that I could enjoy her company honestly.
Soon I will run, because I am daft and they are both way too good for me (please note that I do not sleep with the second one and I have tried sincerely for the first one to let go, short of being cruel, but perhaps I am being cruel by not being cruel....oh shit don't know where this is going, apologies, bowing out ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
To those in beautiful love, may it continue, stay strong and give you amazing life force.
Those who tasted it, lost it and wantvit bacj, I sincerely hope you get it again for keeps.
Those who haven’t yet, pray you do fall and get amazing love reciprocated.
Life is amazing people. Live it and enjoy. |
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"To those in beautiful love, may it continue, stay strong and give you amazing life force.
Those who tasted it, lost it and wantvit bacj, I sincerely hope you get it again for keeps.
Those who haven’t yet, pray you do fall and get amazing love reciprocated.
Life is amazing people. Live it and enjoy."
|
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I’ve been with my husband since I was 16 ...He’s seen me at my best and my worst and loves me regardless ...He is my best friend and my soulmate and after all these years together we still miss each other when we’re apart ... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I have had the privilege of being in love and I too worry if I will ever be able to love again. I hope do as it's amazing. Nice post OP. "
I know what love is , I lived it I breathed it in every cell of my body I gave my everything, I put him before me, I compromised yet I’ve never had anything like it reciprocated |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’ve been with my husband since I was 16 ...He’s seen me at my best and my worst and loves me regardless ...He is my best friend and my soulmate and after all these years together we still miss each other when we’re apart ..."
That is so lovely. I want that one day |
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By *manaWoman
over a year ago
Basingstoke |
"I have had the privilege of being in love and I too worry if I will ever be able to love again. I hope do as it's amazing. Nice post OP.
I know what love is , I lived it I breathed it in every cell of my body I gave my everything, I put him before me, I compromised yet I’ve never had anything like it reciprocated "
I couldve written this. It's a shitty feeling xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I have had the privilege of being in love and I too worry if I will ever be able to love again. I hope do as it's amazing. Nice post OP.
I know what love is , I lived it I breathed it in every cell of my body I gave my everything, I put him before me, I compromised yet I’ve never had anything like it reciprocated
I couldve written this. It's a shitty feeling xx"
And how do you let go ?  |
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Someone one the forums has fallen in love twice this year whilst still having a husband.
It was proper fawny love. You could see the bad ending a mile off. It wasn’t nice to see.
You question watching stuff like that was it real love.
Love is weird. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have had the privilege of being in love and I too worry if I will ever be able to love again. I hope do as it's amazing. Nice post OP.
I know what love is , I lived it I breathed it in every cell of my body I gave my everything, I put him before me, I compromised yet I’ve never had anything like it reciprocated
I couldve written this. It's a shitty feeling xx
And how do you let go ?
Not being cliche, but you let go by ketting go. The more you relive and stay in the hurt, the more it never leaves you. Being the bigger person is quite literally beneficial to you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Love is when you see two old people who have been together all their lives, been through thick n thin together, never given up on eachother... Thats love.. Wish i had that.
|
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By *modDMan
over a year ago
Lichfield |
"What is love ? "
Different things to different people I suppose but to me it’s nearly 3 decades of sharing heartache, elation, joy, misery, despair, happiness, guilt, sorrow, boredom, frustration, panic, fear, excitement, holidays, financially baron times, financially satisfying times, highs, lows, sit doing nothing while the garden grows with the same person and still, still feeling excited when you feel her naked, glowing, menopausal body up against you in the morning.
Not being detrimental to somebody who thinks they’ve just met ‘the one’ but I think you have to have to have experienced the full spectrum of ups , downs and possibly just as importantly, level plains before you really know.
|
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I'd put it this way the love people speak of is very conditional which is a form of dependable, manipulation, fear and expectations. Creating the image of him/her to fit a certain point of view.
Love is unconditional acceptance of everything both what is perceive as beautiful and ugly. Love begins when we fall out of love because true love takes effort.
In a relationship very important to know there a two separate ego involved both have their needs. Loving someone and being with someone daily is going to take effort, patient, respect, communication and so on compare to the flowery perception. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"And outmoded concept, an uneven chemical balance in the brain or just some thought of control devised by society in order to coerce the mating rituals of humanity."
I bet you are loads of fun to be with  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What is love ?
Different things to different people I suppose but to me it’s nearly 3 decades of sharing heartache, elation, joy, misery, despair, happiness, guilt, sorrow, boredom, frustration, panic, fear, excitement, holidays, financially baron times, financially satisfying times, highs, lows, sit doing nothing while the garden grows with the same person and still, still feeling excited when you feel her naked, glowing, menopausal body up against you in the morning.
Not being detrimental to somebody who thinks they’ve just met ‘the one’ but I think you have to have to have experienced the full spectrum of ups , downs and possibly just as importantly, level plains before you really know.
"
I agree |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Love is when you see two old people who have been together all their lives, been through thick n thin together, never given up on eachother... Thats love.. Wish i had that.
"
Or! Maybe the hate each other and just stuck with it for the sake |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Love is different for everyone, and different each time in different ways I think. I don't think it is something you can describe either. "
Love can be cruel, kind, caring , loving, painful,
Love hurts. As Mr Cash said |
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"Love is different for everyone, and different each time in different ways I think. I don't think it is something you can describe either.
Love can be cruel, kind, caring , loving, painful,
Love hurts. As Mr Cash said "
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I don't believe in love anymore, at least not the Hollywood conceptualisation of it.
You haven't seen my anus yet so you dont know what love is..."
Sound like something mr fabulous would say  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don't believe in love anymore, at least not the Hollywood conceptualisation of it.
You haven't seen my anus yet so you dont know what love is...
F&B is that you?!  "
The girl is reading my mind ! If that is not love wtf it is !! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don't believe in love anymore, at least not the Hollywood conceptualisation of it.
You haven't seen my anus yet so you dont know what love is...
F&B is that you?!
The girl is reading my mind ! If that is not love wtf it is !!"
I deleted that as I didn’t realise it was you she was responding to!!  or are you talking to yourself?! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don't believe in love anymore, at least not the Hollywood conceptualisation of it.
You haven't seen my anus yet so you dont know what love is...
F&B is that you?!
The girl is reading my mind ! If that is not love wtf it is !!
I deleted that as I didn’t realise it was you she was responding to!! or are you talking to yourself?! "
That girl is my destiny ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don't believe in love anymore, at least not the Hollywood conceptualisation of it.
You haven't seen my anus yet so you dont know what love is...
F&B is that you?!
The girl is reading my mind ! If that is not love wtf it is !!
I deleted that as I didn’t realise it was you she was responding to!! or are you talking to yourself?!
That girl is my destiny ! "
You know it  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I don't believe in love anymore, at least not the Hollywood conceptualisation of it.
You haven't seen my anus yet so you dont know what love is...
F&B is that you?!
The girl is reading my mind ! If that is not love wtf it is !!
I deleted that as I didn’t realise it was you she was responding to!! or are you talking to yourself?!
That girl is my destiny ! "
Stop mocking my post mr fabulous! Pfff |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don't believe in love anymore, at least not the Hollywood conceptualisation of it.
You haven't seen my anus yet so you dont know what love is...
F&B is that you?!
The girl is reading my mind ! If that is not love wtf it is !!
I deleted that as I didn’t realise it was you she was responding to!! or are you talking to yourself?!
That girl is my destiny ! "
Ffs. Thought you meant me then for a minute |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don't believe in love anymore, at least not the Hollywood conceptualisation of it.
You haven't seen my anus yet so you dont know what love is...
F&B is that you?!
The girl is reading my mind ! If that is not love wtf it is !!
I deleted that as I didn’t realise it was you she was responding to!! or are you talking to yourself?!
That girl is my destiny !
Ffs. Thought you meant me then for a minute "
I will concede...your anus is probably nicer than mine x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don't believe in love anymore, at least not the Hollywood conceptualisation of it.
You haven't seen my anus yet so you dont know what love is...
F&B is that you?!
The girl is reading my mind ! If that is not love wtf it is !!
I deleted that as I didn’t realise it was you she was responding to!! or are you talking to yourself?!
That girl is my destiny !
Ffs. Thought you meant me then for a minute
I will concede...your anus is probably nicer than mine x"
. Are any nice? |
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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago
Craggy Island |
"And outmoded concept, an uneven chemical balance in the brain or just some thought of control devised by society in order to coerce the mating rituals of humanity.
I bet you are loads of fun to be with "
I'm like a whoopee cushion on auto inflate |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don't believe in love anymore, at least not the Hollywood conceptualisation of it.
You haven't seen my anus yet so you dont know what love is...
F&B is that you?!
The girl is reading my mind ! If that is not love wtf it is !!
I deleted that as I didn’t realise it was you she was responding to!! or are you talking to yourself?!
That girl is my destiny !
Ffs. Thought you meant me then for a minute
I will concede...your anus is probably nicer than mine x
. Are any nice? "
He seems to think they all are...but some I've seen here bring tears to my eyes  |
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The answer to your question — Love is unconditional acceptance of everything.
Love always contradict and have many facets. Someone kill for love yet another save. Easy to mistake love for care and lust although love encompasses both.
where is the anus pic? |
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By *manaWoman
over a year ago
Basingstoke |
"I have had the privilege of being in love and I too worry if I will ever be able to love again. I hope do as it's amazing. Nice post OP.
I know what love is , I lived it I breathed it in every cell of my body I gave my everything, I put him before me, I compromised yet I’ve never had anything like it reciprocated
I couldve written this. It's a shitty feeling xx
And how do you let go ? "
I put my effort into others who I know love me. My dad, my daughter, my best friend. Their love is unconditional, theyve loved me for a long time. When I've been not very lovable.
That counts for more now xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I have had the privilege of being in love and I too worry if I will ever be able to love again. I hope do as it's amazing. Nice post OP.
I know what love is , I lived it I breathed it in every cell of my body I gave my everything, I put him before me, I compromised yet I’ve never had anything like it reciprocated
I couldve written this. It's a shitty feeling xx
And how do you let go ?
I put my effort into others who I know love me. My dad, my daughter, my best friend. Their love is unconditional, theyve loved me for a long time. When I've been not very lovable.
That counts for more now xx"
True to an extent, I have done this as I’ve always done but more so with my son now as he plays football professionally, and has a scholarship, I have learned to let go but I’m hesitant as such and don’t want to be. |
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By *manaWoman
over a year ago
Basingstoke |
I totally get where you are, it makes me sad I put my love and trust into my relationships and I have yet to have it returned so I've massive walls up. Even more so after the last couple of weeks but I have a small spark of hope that one day someone will see me, and return the respect and love.
Until then? My walls stay up. Xx |
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By *manaWoman
over a year ago
Basingstoke |
"Why do so many of you give love if you're not getting anything back?"
It's just me, who I am. I'd do anything for anyone and while I get crapped on a bit I'd never want to be different. Xx |
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"Why do so many of you give love if you're not getting anything back?"
Because love it's a two way street, you can't expect someone to love you if you don't give them your love. It's a risk and sometimes it goes tits up, but you can't give up hope surely? |
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"Why do so many of you give love if you're not getting anything back?
It's just me, who I am. I'd do anything for anyone and while I get crapped on a bit I'd never want to be different. Xx"
I think its a quality to be admired. |
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"I have had the privilege of being in love and I too worry if I will ever be able to love again. I hope do as it's amazing. Nice post OP.
I know what love is , I lived it I breathed it in every cell of my body I gave my everything, I put him before me, I compromised yet I’ve never had anything like it reciprocated
I couldve written this. It's a shitty feeling xx
And how do you let go ?
I put my effort into others who I know love me. My dad, my daughter, my best friend. Their love is unconditional, theyve loved me for a long time. When I've been not very lovable.
That counts for more now xx
True to an extent, I have done this as I’ve always done but more so with my son now as he plays football professionally, and has a scholarship, I have learned to let go but I’m hesitant as such and don’t want to be. "
These are completely understandable and natural reactions |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I totally get where you are, it makes me sad I put my love and trust into my relationships and I have yet to have it returned so I've massive walls up. Even more so after the last couple of weeks but I have a small spark of hope that one day someone will see me, and return the respect and love.
Until then? My walls stay up. Xx"
Hope your ok
X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why do so many of you give love if you're not getting anything back?
Because love is complicated and not as white as you say.
Indeed. It is rarely a thing you can just choose not to do. "
Exactly. |
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By *manaWoman
over a year ago
Basingstoke |
"I totally get where you are, it makes me sad I put my love and trust into my relationships and I have yet to have it returned so I've massive walls up. Even more so after the last couple of weeks but I have a small spark of hope that one day someone will see me, and return the respect and love.
Until then? My walls stay up. Xx
Hope your ok
X"
I'm always ok, onwards and upwards! Xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"When you know you know and when you look back you know if it was or wasn’t "
Not entirely True! Both my ex’s looked at me like they loved me. But they didn’t |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why do so many of you give love if you're not getting anything back?
Because love it's a two way street, you can't expect someone to love you if you don't give them your love. It's a risk and sometimes it goes tits up, but you can't give up hope surely? "
Doesn't that apply to the other person too though? It's surely got to feel like a reciprocal thing for it to grow |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why do so many of you give love if you're not getting anything back?
Because love it's a two way street, you can't expect someone to love you if you don't give them your love. It's a risk and sometimes it goes tits up, but you can't give up hope surely?
Doesn't that apply to the other person too though? It's surely got to feel like a reciprocal thing for it to grow "
I never had love back, only control and I loved deeply so not entirely true |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Love is an uncontrollable emotion that operates beyond anything the human mind can really understand ...hence if we feel love and it's not returned, we are left in turmoil.....but be careful not to confuse lust and infatuation with love. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Baby don't hurt me,
Don't hurt me,
No more...
Sorry, somebody once said I Haddaway with words!
"Happy Birthday" beautiful (OP)
Hope you've had a nice day x "
Thank god it wasn't just me that immediately thought that happy birthday OP x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Love is a strange combination of pure happiness and fear itls like walking a high wire between 2 planes 10000 feet in the air pure exhilaration excitement giddiness but 1 slip and you got a long way to fall but the buzz makes the danger soooooo worth it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Love is giving to another's basic needs without having personal reward as a motive. Be that person and find the person that loves that way, accept the others shortcomings, forgive quickly, and love will remain for a lifetime.
We've been married, and in love, for 40 years. |
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