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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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What's the funniest question you've been asked?
I recently had someone ask how tight is your fanny? I mean how does one measure tightness of ones fanny? Worst part was it was someone from dating site. |
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"What's the funniest question you've been asked?
I recently had someone ask how tight is your fanny? I mean how does one measure tightness of ones fanny? Worst part was it was someone from dating site. "
wait I have a tool for that,,
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What's the funniest question you've been asked?
I recently had someone ask how tight is your fanny? I mean how does one measure tightness of ones fanny? Worst part was it was someone from dating site. wait I have a tool for that,,
"
I know your kind of tool  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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On here?
Not particularly funny but it’s disturbing - “can I get you pregnant, as it really turns me on? I promise I’ll support you and the baby”.
I kid you not.
 |
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By *mberWoman
over a year ago
Preston |
"On here?
Do you poo in the toilet at work?
I didn't reply!
Ffs... just when you’re *sure* you’ve heard it all  "
He said it was for a research paper rather than sexual gratification. 
I totally believed him! |
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By *mberWoman
over a year ago
Preston |
"On here?
Not particularly funny but it’s disturbing - “can I get you pregnant, as it really turns me on? I promise I’ll support you and the baby”.
I kid you not.
"
What an opportunity ripe for the taking! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I had a man message with..
"you down"
I still don't know what he meant
He wanted to fuck you. Down to fuck  "
I thought men needed to be up to fuck? Have I been doing it wrong? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On here?
Do you poo in the toilet at work?
I didn't reply!
Ffs... just when you’re *sure* you’ve heard it all
He said it was for a research paper rather than sexual gratification.
I totally believed him!"
Research about whether people poo at work. Sounds legit  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The weirdest one was being asking if I wanted to watch him shit in his wife's handbag
Did you say yes? Sounds arousing  "
I thought about it but wasnt sure if I could watch a handbag be treated that way |
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By *mberWoman
over a year ago
Preston |
"On here?
Do you poo in the toilet at work?
I didn't reply!
Ffs... just when you’re *sure* you’ve heard it all
He said it was for a research paper rather than sexual gratification.
I totally believed him!
Research about whether people poo at work. Sounds legit "
PhD level I think. He's probably writing a paper! |
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By *mberWoman
over a year ago
Preston |
"The weirdest one was being asking if I wanted to watch him shit in his wife's handbag
Did you say yes? Sounds arousing
I thought about it but wasnt sure if I could watch a handbag be treated that way "
Fair point! |
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On a dating site a few years back I got asked by a much older guy whether I'd be willing to drink his cum.
I told him I wasn't willing to be anywhere within a mile of him or his cock, to which he asked if he could leave a used condom in a hedge somewhere, so that I could drink from that.
Because apparently someone somewhere would find that an appealing thought.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On a dating site a few years back I got asked by a much older guy whether I'd be willing to drink his cum.
I told him I wasn't willing to be anywhere within a mile of him or his cock, to which he asked if he could leave a used condom in a hedge somewhere, so that I could drink from that.
Because apparently someone somewhere would find that an appealing thought.
"
I think I was just a bit sick in my mouth  |
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By *mberWoman
over a year ago
Preston |
In real life a bloke at work showed me a trailer of a dark film where a woman gets taken against get will and then a clip of a place called McCabe manor where people go to get tortured.
He then asked if he could pull my teeth out with pliers!
I reported it to HR who said I was making a mountain out of a molehill and they couldn't see any issue with it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In real life a bloke at work showed me a trailer of a dark film where a woman gets taken against get will and then a clip of a place called McCabe manor where people go to get tortured.
He then asked if he could pull my teeth out with pliers!
I reported it to HR who said I was making a mountain out of a molehill and they couldn't see any issue with it!"
Christ alive.
Your work has some questionable policies and procedures?! |
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"What's the funniest question you've been asked?
I recently had someone ask how tight is your fanny? I mean how does one measure tightness of ones fanny? Worst part was it was someone from dating site. "
If it doesn’t leave teeth marks on my knob then it ain’t tight enough |
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By *mberWoman
over a year ago
Preston |
"
Christ alive.
Your work has some questionable policies and procedures?! "
I don't work for the same company as him, but I have to visit his site. He knew exactly what he was doing because he asked me the week he left to start a new job.
I told HR that his interest was clearly sexual and was told that I had no evidence of it. But I think you can tell by someone's tone and expressions.
The rest of the guys in his office were horrified! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"On here?
Not particularly funny but it’s disturbing - “can I get you pregnant, as it really turns me on? I promise I’ll support you and the baby”.
I kid you not.
"
|
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"What's the funniest question you've been asked?
I recently had someone ask how tight is your fanny? I mean how does one measure tightness of ones fanny? Worst part was it was someone from dating site. wait I have a tool for that,,
I know your kind of tool "
mmmm
You sure about that |
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"In real life a bloke at work showed me a trailer of a dark film where a woman gets taken against get will and then a clip of a place called McCabe manor where people go to get tortured.
He then asked if he could pull my teeth out with pliers!
I reported it to HR who said I was making a mountain out of a molehill and they couldn't see any issue with it!"
But you still haven't told us if you take a dump at work?
 |
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By *mberWoman
over a year ago
Preston |
"In real life a bloke at work showed me a trailer of a dark film where a woman gets taken against get will and then a clip of a place called McCabe manor where people go to get tortured.
He then asked if he could pull my teeth out with pliers!
I reported it to HR who said I was making a mountain out of a molehill and they couldn't see any issue with it!
But you still haven't told us if you take a dump at work?
"
Ha ha I hide it in people's coat pockets! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What are you?"
-I think the lady must have meant my ethnic origin.
It reminded me of the line "What the hell are you?" Arnold says to the predator at the end of the film. |
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By *mberWoman
over a year ago
Preston |
""What are you?"
-I think the lady must have meant my ethnic origin.
It reminded me of the line "What the hell are you?" Arnold says to the predator at the end of the film."
What are you?
Oh my word! Was this in the 1800's?
Wow, I hope you told her something really bizarre like 'I'm half man, half crocodile, half blueberry'
|
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"What's the funniest question you've been asked?
I recently had someone ask how tight is your fanny? I mean how does one measure tightness of ones fanny? Worst part was it was someone from dating site. "
Gauge - if it doesn't echo it tight.  |
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"What's the funniest question you've been asked?
I recently had someone ask how tight is your fanny? I mean how does one measure tightness of ones fanny? Worst part was it was someone from dating site. "
Similar to tyre pressure i imagine. PSI as measured by clamping on cock |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What's the funniest question you've been asked?
I recently had someone ask how tight is your fanny? I mean how does one measure tightness of ones fanny? Worst part was it was someone from dating site. "
Kit Kat gauge. Measured in fingers but you have to be quick before the chocolate melts.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
""What are you?"
-I think the lady must have meant my ethnic origin.
It reminded me of the line "What the hell are you?" Arnold says to the predator at the end of the film.
What are you?
Oh my word! Was this in the 1800's?
Wow, I hope you told her something really bizarre like 'I'm half man, half crocodile, half blueberry'
"
-Indeed. |
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The female half once got a message from a male half of a couple we had been chatting to
Asking if she would be will to shag him and 10 of his friends on a stag do.
They were all willing to give her £50 each.
We were both speechless
Didn't even look at there advert to see if it mentioned him allowed to play singularly
It was an instant block from the wife |
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"What's the funniest question you've been asked?
I recently had someone ask how tight is your fanny? I mean how does one measure tightness of ones fanny? Worst part was it was someone from dating site. "
I got sent a message once simply saying, "they real" no punctuation, capitalisation or context but rather than assume it was a statement of the existence of aliens or a commentary on his hopes and dreams I decided it was probably a query about my décolletage and whether it had ever been altered surgically.
I told him it was a pair of water balloons spray painted to match my skin as mine came out cubical and it helps avoid awkward moments. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What's the funniest question you've been asked?
I recently had someone ask how tight is your fanny? I mean how does one measure tightness of ones fanny? Worst part was it was someone from dating site. wait I have a tool for that,,
I know your kind of tool mmmm
You sure about that "
I think I may have seen it |
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