"Everyone lies about something. Lying to hurt is a special category.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p07k439v
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0008y3y
"
I went for about 20 years without a single lie (apart from ticking the box to say I had read the terms and conditions kind of thing.) I don't think lying is necessary, I think it's a choice - and maybe if we cannot live our lives without lying, we are living the wrong life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I went for about 20 years without a single lie (apart from ticking the box to say I had read the terms and conditions kind of thing.) I don't think lying is necessary, I think it's a choice - and maybe if we cannot live our lives without lying, we are living the wrong life."
20 years without ever referencing the tooth fairy, or father Christmas. Never once saying that's wonderful we must put it up on the fridge? |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Everyone lies about something. Lying to hurt is a special category.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p07k439v
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0008y3y
I went for about 20 years without a single lie (apart from ticking the box to say I had read the terms and conditions kind of thing.) I don't think lying is necessary, I think it's a choice - and maybe if we cannot live our lives without lying, we are living the wrong life."
Lying is a choice, I agree. But, sometimes we lie by omission. It's just as active as the spinning of a tale but feels benign.
We lie to ourselves. We let people down gently by saying we're busy instead of saying we'd rather stick pins in our eyes that spend time with them. We tell Aunt Mabel that we love the gift she has given as to respond honestly would be hurtful.
I live as honestly as I can, but I also try to live as kindly as I can. I fail at both more often than I would like.
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"Everyone lies about something. Lying to hurt is a special category.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p07k439v
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0008y3y
I went for about 20 years without a single lie (apart from ticking the box to say I had read the terms and conditions kind of thing.) I don't think lying is necessary, I think it's a choice - and maybe if we cannot live our lives without lying, we are living the wrong life.
Lying is a choice, I agree. But, sometimes we lie by omission. It's just as active as the spinning of a tale but feels benign.
We lie to ourselves. We let people down gently by saying we're busy instead of saying we'd rather stick pins in our eyes that spend time with them. We tell Aunt Mabel that we love the gift she has given as to respond honestly would be hurtful.
I live as honestly as I can, but I also try to live as kindly as I can. I fail at both more often than I would like.
"
There are ways round all of those, though it is a challenge I grant you, one I set myself once. I found it extremely liberating. |
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I think the point is most people don't think it matters that they lie, so they may do so simply because it is easier for them, or the people around them. If you make a decision that it really does matter to you, you can find ways round, and without hurting people. |
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People seem to have a natural tendency to lie, which may help us as social animals. It may help to grease the gears socially, if ee tell white lies - distortion or omission of certain facts. We deceive ourselves too, a lot. We can also come to believe our own lies, as well as prefer sometimes to hear an untruth. It's loaded due to motivation - gaining an emotional satisfaction or avoidance of what we may be scared of feeling. On fab - they may want sexual pleasure, an escape from humdrum boredom stuck in a life pattern they chose. Excitement wanted instead. Increasing their self esteem etc
Others become the tools for them to relieve their angst, self-imprisonment, and monotony. It can be a thrill and rewarding in its own right - potentially addictive.
Like many human traits - it's along at least one spectrum, at a more extreme position than where most of us lie, those of us who assuage others, or say we've spent less on shoes than we did, or say artfully vague fibs, that skips a little hurt for someone. |
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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago
Whitley Bay |
Because they are very unsure of how to stand in the truth....and dont believe in themselves. Denial, social pressure, shame,
Sometimes liars feel the need to protect you. And sometimes they believe that they are not lying.. after all, there can be more than one truth.
It's hard to perceive without knowing the context of your question. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like to my grandchildren all the time, beyond the santa standard lies, I have found broken magic wands that I am unable to get working, built fairy houses and hiden them in their gardens, lies are sometimes fun. Plus it gives me a chance to catch my breath! They wear me out just by talking.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because they are not single "
I’m not single and I wouldn’t lie...
Doesn’t make any sense to hide something that will come up if/when you meet...
What for? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Op, if you mean lies that has caused hurt or your decision making was based on what they told you rather than the truth, then they are an unsavoury cunt! I don't use that word lightly believe me, to deliberately lie to get what one wants without regard for the other person is very poor behaviour, nice people don't deliberately hurt others! |
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By *osie xWoman
over a year ago
wolverhampton |
Liars are arses but how you deal with the situation once you know the truth can be very empowering.
Face it, we’re all behind a screen, I could be a size 10 blonde bombshell if I wanted to be on here but one day the truth would come out so it’s be pointless. Thing is, as an early post said, what do you do? some on here would walk away and some would go ok I’ll make do and that’s how liars win |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I really don't know why but I've been told a fair few whoppers on here. I think we all tell a few little white lies to be kind but, being honest, is always the best way to live your life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because they are very unsure of how to stand in the truth....and dont believe in themselves. Denial, social pressure, shame,
Sometimes liars feel the need to protect you. And sometimes they believe that they are not lying.. after all, there can be more than one truth.
It's hard to perceive without knowing the context of your question. X "
 Yes. Context is very important. Lying is motivated by a multitude of factors... there’s no single answer to this question. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
There is lying to save hurt, then there is lying to save face. The two are very subtly different and often people tell themselves they're doing one when they're doing the other.
Personally I'd rather someone didn't remove my ability to handle and process the truth. If someone isn't attracted to me, I'd rather know that!
Beyond that though, there are some who lie, manipulate and weave webs of deception. They're very charming and often have 'honest faces'. It's the ones that draw you in and twist the world that are dangerous. The ones that will hurt you, cheat and break your trust. It's those ones who maliciously lie to achieve their ends that are the awful ones.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry but I'm a cynic. People lie. Period. The folk who claim they dont, are generally making that statement with good intentions and probably do live honest kind lives.
However it's all to be taken in context. Put people in stressful, confrontational situations and I'm amazed at how they lie without thinking in order to save themselves.
It's more about avoiding placing. yourself in situations where the truth may be awkward.
Do what you will, as I do, but don't be a victim when things become awkward. Take ownership of your choices, be they good or bad. |
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"There is lying to save hurt, then there is lying to save face. The two are very subtly different and often people tell themselves they're doing one when they're doing the other.
Personally I'd rather someone didn't remove my ability to handle and process the truth. If someone isn't attracted to me, I'd rather know that!
Beyond that though, there are some who lie, manipulate and weave webs of deception. They're very charming and often have 'honest faces'. It's the ones that draw you in and twist the world that are dangerous. The ones that will hurt you, cheat and break your trust. It's those ones who maliciously lie to achieve their ends that are the awful ones.
"
This. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Sorry but I'm a cynic. People lie. Period. The folk who claim they dont, are generally making that statement with good intentions and probably do live honest kind lives.
However it's all to be taken in context. Put people in stressful, confrontational situations and I'm amazed at how they lie without thinking in order to save themselves.
It's more about avoiding placing. yourself in situations where the truth may be awkward.
Do what you will, as I do, but don't be a victim when things become awkward. Take ownership of your choices, be they good or bad."
Yes one shouldn’t be a victim and yes it’s healthy to assume everyone lies. But if I follow your logic then I for one shouldn’t be on here as fab essentially is a place where truth is few and far between.
At the end of the day it happens in any situation. If you are lucky you have a gut feel for people that helps but even the best of us have experienced it in one shape size or form. |
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" Sorry but I'm a cynic. People lie. Period. The folk who claim they dont, are generally making that statement with good intentions and probably do live honest kind lives.
However it's all to be taken in context. Put people in stressful, confrontational situations and I'm amazed at how they lie without thinking in order to save themselves.
It's more about avoiding placing. yourself in situations where the truth may be awkward.
Do what you will, as I do, but don't be a victim when things become awkward. Take ownership of your choices, be they good or bad."
Exactly. And you are right - if you decide not to lie it does modify your behaviour - which is not usually a bad thing.
I think a lot of the time it's habit - I can remember my Mum, when a hawker came to the door saying something like 'Tell them you're only a guest here' or some such.....and I said "Why not just say 'Sorry I don't want anything today'?"
Sometimes telling the truth is a lot easier than people think. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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They lie to make things easier for themselves..
never ever to protect someone from getting hurt that's BS!
It means they can get away with stuff they shouldn't be doing... |
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"They lie to make things easier for themselves..
never ever to protect someone from getting hurt that's BS!
It means they can get away with stuff they shouldn't be doing..."
.
People do actually lie to protect others feelings. I wasn't told about someone close to me being ill, until they had no choice but to tell me. They lied about it to protect my feelings as they thought I maybe would struggle with the truth. They had my best interests at heart. I an sure many other lies are told to protect feelings of others. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Everyone lies about something. Lying to hurt is a special category.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p07k439v
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0008y3y
I went for about 20 years without a single lie (apart from ticking the box to say I had read the terms and conditions kind of thing.) I don't think lying is necessary, I think it's a choice - and maybe if we cannot live our lives without lying, we are living the wrong life."
Completly agree |
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"They lie to make things easier for themselves..
never ever to protect someone from getting hurt that's BS!
It means they can get away with stuff they shouldn't be doing....
People do actually lie to protect others feelings. I wasn't told about someone close to me being ill, until they had no choice but to tell me. They lied about it to protect my feelings as they thought I maybe would struggle with the truth. They had my best interests at heart. I an sure many other lies are told to protect feelings of others."
I was just thinking about white lies.
Hands up...I have told a couple. And would again to protect or save someone's feelings |
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"They lie to make things easier for themselves..
never ever to protect someone from getting hurt that's BS!
It means they can get away with stuff they shouldn't be doing....
People do actually lie to protect others feelings. I wasn't told about someone close to me being ill, until they had no choice but to tell me. They lied about it to protect my feelings as they thought I maybe would struggle with the truth. They had my best interests at heart. I an sure many other lies are told to protect feelings of others.
I was just thinking about white lies.
Hands up...I have told a couple. And would again to protect or save someone's feelings"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"They lie to make things easier for themselves..
never ever to protect someone from getting hurt that's BS!
It means they can get away with stuff they shouldn't be doing....
People do actually lie to protect others feelings. I wasn't told about someone close to me being ill, until they had no choice but to tell me. They lied about it to protect my feelings as they thought I maybe would struggle with the truth. They had my best interests at heart. I an sure many other lies are told to protect feelings of others."
Lies aren't always negative. |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
People lie. They do. About anything and everything from whether the cake tasted nice to the size of the fish they caught. It’s human nature and I do believe that everyone lies about something at some point. |
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