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Animal Thunderdome
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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You've been dropped into a large pit, impossible to escape, it can be partially flooded, fully submerged or dry.
You look up to see the entire Horde of the Mongol Empire cheering you on, waiting to see which animal you'll choose to fight to the death!
1. No weapons.
2. No clothing, butt naked tooth and claw (why do you think the Horde gathered in the first place?)
3. Two animals enter, one animal leaves.
The Horde will award you respect where it's due, go hard or go home!
Judge Ghengis Attenborough's decision on whether you'd survive said hypothetical encounter after questioning- is final.
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By *ucidityWoman
over a year ago
Nottingham |
"You've been dropped into a large pit, impossible to escape, it can be partially flooded, fully submerged or dry.
You look up to see the entire Horde of the Mongol Empire cheering you on, waiting to see which animal you'll choose to fight to the death!
1. No weapons.
2. No clothing, butt naked tooth and claw (why do you think the Horde gathered in the first place?)
3. Two animals enter, one animal leaves.
The Horde will award you respect where it's due, go hard or go home!
Judge Ghengis Attenborough's decision on whether you'd survive said hypothetical encounter after questioning- is final.
"
Sacrifice myself as animal fodder.
None of them need die whilst I’m in the pit.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"You've been dropped into a large pit, impossible to escape, it can be partially flooded, fully submerged or dry.
You look up to see the entire Horde of the Mongol Empire cheering you on, waiting to see which animal you'll choose to fight to the death!
1. No weapons.
2. No clothing, butt naked tooth and claw (why do you think the Horde gathered in the first place?)
3. Two animals enter, one animal leaves.
The Horde will award you respect where it's due, go hard or go home!
Judge Ghengis Attenborough's decision on whether you'd survive said hypothetical encounter after questioning- is final.
Sacrifice myself as animal fodder.
None of them need die whilst I’m in the pit. "
*The Horde are dismayed! All say a prayer to Tengri the Skyfather on your behalf and shuffle around uncomfortably for the next participant* |
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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
"You've been dropped into a large pit, impossible to escape, it can be partially flooded, fully submerged or dry.
You look up to see the entire Horde of the Mongol Empire cheering you on, waiting to see which animal you'll choose to fight to the death!
1. No weapons.
2. No clothing, butt naked tooth and claw (why do you think the Horde gathered in the first place?)
3. Two animals enter, one animal leaves.
The Horde will award you respect where it's due, go hard or go home!
Judge Ghengis Attenborough's decision on whether you'd survive said hypothetical encounter after questioning- is final.
"
The hordes would leave seeing me naked. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"You've been dropped into a large pit, impossible to escape, it can be partially flooded, fully submerged or dry.
You look up to see the entire Horde of the Mongol Empire cheering you on, waiting to see which animal you'll choose to fight to the death!
1. No weapons.
2. No clothing, butt naked tooth and claw (why do you think the Horde gathered in the first place?)
3. Two animals enter, one animal leaves.
The Horde will award you respect where it's due, go hard or go home!
Judge Ghengis Attenborough's decision on whether you'd survive said hypothetical encounter after questioning- is final.
The hordes would leave seeing me naked. "
Imagine the most desperate and depraved men of Fab.. Then Horde them all up together.. I present to you... |
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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
"You've been dropped into a large pit, impossible to escape, it can be partially flooded, fully submerged or dry.
You look up to see the entire Horde of the Mongol Empire cheering you on, waiting to see which animal you'll choose to fight to the death!
1. No weapons.
2. No clothing, butt naked tooth and claw (why do you think the Horde gathered in the first place?)
3. Two animals enter, one animal leaves.
The Horde will award you respect where it's due, go hard or go home!
Judge Ghengis Attenborough's decision on whether you'd survive said hypothetical encounter after questioning- is final.
The hordes would leave seeing me naked.
Imagine the most desperate and depraved men of Fab.. Then Horde them all up together.. I present to you... "
I'm not really a fighter,I guess I could suffocate something small between my boobs. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A nice clean fluffy sheep if I'm naked a good wrestle might be nice to the death "
The Horde cheer in unison.. A sheep.. interesting.
Every Mongol boy knows theh can be tricky, tough, hard headed and strong animals. Every Mongol boy ..
The Horde are happy though, Blood! Come join the Crowd, have a bottle of Arag |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"You've been dropped into a large pit, impossible to escape, it can be partially flooded, fully submerged or dry.
You look up to see the entire Horde of the Mongol Empire cheering you on, waiting to see which animal you'll choose to fight to the death!
1. No weapons.
2. No clothing, butt naked tooth and claw (why do you think the Horde gathered in the first place?)
3. Two animals enter, one animal leaves.
The Horde will award you respect where it's due, go hard or go home!
Judge Ghengis Attenborough's decision on whether you'd survive said hypothetical encounter after questioning- is final.
The hordes would leave seeing me naked.
Imagine the most desperate and depraved men of Fab.. Then Horde them all up together.. I present to you...
I'm not really a fighter,I guess I could suffocate something small between my boobs. "
*The Horde all point at Sir David Ghengisborough's crotch and laugh* |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A Polar Please!
It's white coat shall be left blood red  "
A Polar bear...? The horde hush, then whisper furiously.
How do you plan to kill a Polar bear? |
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By *100Man
over a year ago
Essex |
"A nice clean fluffy sheep if I'm naked a good wrestle might be nice to the death
The Horde cheer in unison.. A sheep.. interesting.
Every Mongol boy knows theh can be tricky, tough, hard headed and strong animals. Every Mongol boy ..
The Horde are happy though, Blood! Come join the Crowd, have a bottle of Arag"
Cheers geezer I'll be honoured to join you and your horde |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A chicken. It probably wouldn’t put my much of a fight. The challenge here is out cardioing the flightless bird "
every Mongol boy knows the art of chicken tickling well. So you can come join us with in the crowd and watch the carnage. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A Polar Please!
It's white coat shall be left blood red
A Polar bear...? The horde hush, then whisper furiously.
How do you plan to kill a Polar bear?"
The bones of the dead  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"A Polar Please!
It's white coat shall be left blood red
A Polar bear...? The horde hush, then whisper furiously.
How do you plan to kill a Polar bear?
The bones of the dead "
The Horde scream in delight and love your sneaky bloodlusty ways. Sir Ghengisborough intervenes.. NO WEAPONS |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A cheetah
The crowd hush.. You know you're getting sliced and bitten a lot right?
In the words of Emperor Kuzco: bring it on."
A fucking Cheetah? How? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A Polar Please!
It's white coat shall be left blood red
A Polar bear...? The horde hush, then whisper furiously.
How do you plan to kill a Polar bear?
The bones of the dead
The Horde scream in delight and love your sneaky bloodlusty ways. Sir Ghengisborough intervenes.. NO WEAPONS"
Don't leave Corpses and Skeletons lying about!
Thank you Horde  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"A Polar Please!
It's white coat shall be left blood red
A Polar bear...? The horde hush, then whisper furiously.
How do you plan to kill a Polar bear?
The bones of the dead
The Horde scream in delight and love your sneaky bloodlusty ways. Sir Ghengisborough intervenes.. NO WEAPONS
Don't leave Corpses and Skeletons lying about!
Thank you Horde "
Its cleaned out regularly by Tsubodai after each fight.. we're onto you sneaky fuckers, we're Mongols. Fight fair, or don't fight. It's your reputation at stake |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Accept I'm going to get sliced up some and I don't know, go for the windpipe?"
Hands round the throat? face to face? Can you imagine!?
That's x4sets of unretractable, long.. claws on the ends of four of the strongest fastest legs on the planet!
Sliced isn't the word!
The Horde chuck you a bottle of Arag for going balls out and say a prayer for you whilst you're stil here to hear it. The Horde cheers!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Eh... How about a trout?
First time player, not very sure of the rules...
Mrs TMN x"
The pit will fill knee deep in water so Trout can survive. How will you kill it...? With your flu? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm a goddam badass polar bear, with a bulldog clip attached to my balls to make me extra crazy.
My entrance to the pit involves slinging burning walruses into the arena whilst biting emperor penguins in half grrrrr |
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"Eh... How about a trout?
First time player, not very sure of the rules...
Mrs TMN x
The pit will fill knee deep in water so Trout can survive. How will you kill it...? With your flu?"
You guessed it! I'll breathe on that slippery little beastie and it will be floating on the surface in seconds. Victory is mine! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
" I'm a goddam badass polar bear, with a bulldog clip attached to my balls to make me extra crazy.
My entrance to the pit involves slinging burning walruses into the arena whilst biting emperor penguins in half grrrrr "
Holy Shit..!
What are you going to fight ya Goddam Badass Polar bear!?
The Horde wait in breathless silence... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Eh... How about a trout?
First time player, not very sure of the rules...
Mrs TMN x
The pit will fill knee deep in water so Trout can survive. How will you kill it...? With your flu?
You guessed it! I'll breathe on that slippery little beastie and it will be floating on the surface in seconds. Victory is mine! "
Ghenisborough chucks you a flagon of Arag.
Drink that.. over there.. it'll put hairs on your chest.. come party with the Horde when you're less.. contagious |
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"Eh... How about a trout?
First time player, not very sure of the rules...
Mrs TMN x
The pit will fill knee deep in water so Trout can survive. How will you kill it...? With your flu?
You guessed it! I'll breathe on that slippery little beastie and it will be floating on the surface in seconds. Victory is mine!
Ghenisborough chucks you a flagon of Arag.
Drink that.. over there.. it'll put hairs on your chest.. come party with the Horde when you're less.. contagious "
Don't think I really want a hairy chest... Could be a new and interesting look though? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Eh... How about a trout?
First time player, not very sure of the rules...
Mrs TMN x
The pit will fill knee deep in water so Trout can survive. How will you kill it...? With your flu?
You guessed it! I'll breathe on that slippery little beastie and it will be floating on the surface in seconds. Victory is mine!
Ghenisborough chucks you a flagon of Arag.
Drink that.. over there.. it'll put hairs on your chest.. come party with the Horde when you're less.. contagious
Don't think I really want a hairy chest... Could be a new and interesting look though? "
Yeah.. on second thoughts, your jubblies are jublicious as they are.
Still, go stand in quarantine please |
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"Eh... How about a trout?
First time player, not very sure of the rules...
Mrs TMN x
The pit will fill knee deep in water so Trout can survive. How will you kill it...? With your flu?
You guessed it! I'll breathe on that slippery little beastie and it will be floating on the surface in seconds. Victory is mine!
Ghenisborough chucks you a flagon of Arag.
Drink that.. over there.. it'll put hairs on your chest.. come party with the Horde when you're less.. contagious
Don't think I really want a hairy chest... Could be a new and interesting look though?
Yeah.. on second thoughts, your jubblies are jublicious as they are.
Still, go stand in quarantine please "
Yes Sir Ghengisborough  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'd fight a wildebeest. They always seem to be nature's go to victims."
To animals with big teeth or claws and at least three times stronger than us.
The Horde would love to see you try though. FIIIIGHT! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I want to punch a panda. They need a literal kick up the ass anyway. Hardly ever shag eat stupid food they need to get their shit together.
Let it be a lesson to them to fix up. "
Ok.. but this Pandas punching back and we've all seen the youtube clip.. The Horde is rooting for you Dude! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'll fight a bear. But only in the morning since I am one.
What kind?"
Just the big fat grizzly that drinks all the kokanee beer in our cooler every summer. Him and I - we got some bad blood between us.
(And yes, bears love kokanee beer. Not molson. Not pilsner. Not guiness. Not Coors. Not Budweiser. But kokanee. They will tear your camp up for it.)
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'd fight a wildebeest. They always seem to be nature's go to victims.
To animals with big teeth or claws and at least three times stronger than us.
The Horde would love to see you try though. FIIIIGHT!"
Ah. Well, I have pretty strong teeth and I could let my nails grow pre-fight. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'll fight a bear. But only in the morning since I am one.
What kind?
Just the big fat grizzly that drinks all the kokanee beer in our cooler every summer. Him and I - we got some bad blood between us.
(And yes, bears love kokanee beer. Not molson. Not pilsner. Not guiness. Not Coors. Not Budweiser. But kokanee. They will tear your camp up for it.)
"
You sound like you know your way around bears.. and beer.. So, I have to ask.. How? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Midges.
Anyone willingly taking on midges has to be deemed worthy of a glorious death, no? "
Tis par for the course living on the Mongolian Steppe. Horde waits for you to man up a bit  |
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"Midges.
Anyone willingly taking on midges has to be deemed worthy of a glorious death, no?
Tis par for the course living on the Mongolian Steppe. Horde waits for you to man up a bit "
My shame knows no bounds.  |
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"Eh... How about a trout?
First time player, not very sure of the rules...
Mrs TMN x
The pit will fill knee deep in water so Trout can survive. How will you kill it...? With your flu?
You guessed it! I'll breathe on that slippery little beastie and it will be floating on the surface in seconds. Victory is mine!
Ghenisborough chucks you a flagon of Arag.
Drink that.. over there.. it'll put hairs on your chest.. come party with the Horde when you're less.. contagious
Don't think I really want a hairy chest... Could be a new and interesting look though?
Yeah.. on second thoughts, your jubblies are jublicious as they are.
Still, go stand in quarantine please
Yes Sir Ghengisborough "
Cough, cough... Excuse me Sir... I'm wasting away from lack of attention over here. Whatever can we do about it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'll fight a bear. But only in the morning since I am one.
What kind?
Just the big fat grizzly that drinks all the kokanee beer in our cooler every summer. Him and I - we got some bad blood between us.
(And yes, bears love kokanee beer. Not molson. Not pilsner. Not guiness. Not Coors. Not Budweiser. But kokanee. They will tear your camp up for it.)
You sound like you know your way around bears.. and beer.. So, I have to ask.. How?"
Camping. And when I lived in British Columbia you get used to them being in your backyard every damn day. Beautiful but stinky animals, they are big jerks when they poop on your porch and eat all your pot plants. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The beer - I'm not kidding. I've literally watched them chick every can out except the kokanee. They love that stuff, but its made from BC spring water. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Eh... How about a trout?
First time player, not very sure of the rules...
Mrs TMN x
The pit will fill knee deep in water so Trout can survive. How will you kill it...? With your flu?
You guessed it! I'll breathe on that slippery little beastie and it will be floating on the surface in seconds. Victory is mine!
Ghenisborough chucks you a flagon of Arag.
Drink that.. over there.. it'll put hairs on your chest.. come party with the Horde when you're less.. contagious
Don't think I really want a hairy chest... Could be a new and interesting look though?
Yeah.. on second thoughts, your jubblies are jublicious as they are.
Still, go stand in quarantine please
Yes Sir Ghengisborough
Cough, cough... Excuse me Sir... I'm wasting away from lack of attention over here. Whatever can we do about it? "
Stop coughing and it's all good |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'll fight a bear. But only in the morning since I am one.
What kind?
Just the big fat grizzly that drinks all the kokanee beer in our cooler every summer. Him and I - we got some bad blood between us.
(And yes, bears love kokanee beer. Not molson. Not pilsner. Not guiness. Not Coors. Not Budweiser. But kokanee. They will tear your camp up for it.)
You sound like you know your way around bears.. and beer.. So, I have to ask.. How?
Camping. And when I lived in British Columbia you get used to them being in your backyard every damn day. Beautiful but stinky animals, they are big jerks when they poop on your porch and eat all your pot plants. "
I'd fight a bear for eating my pot plants! Ok! The Horde approves, we look forward to your battle! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'll fight a bear. But only in the morning since I am one.
What kind?
Just the big fat grizzly that drinks all the kokanee beer in our cooler every summer. Him and I - we got some bad blood between us.
(And yes, bears love kokanee beer. Not molson. Not pilsner. Not guiness. Not Coors. Not Budweiser. But kokanee. They will tear your camp up for it.)
You sound like you know your way around bears.. and beer.. So, I have to ask.. How?
Camping. And when I lived in British Columbia you get used to them being in your backyard every damn day. Beautiful but stinky animals, they are big jerks when they poop on your porch and eat all your pot plants.
I'd fight a bear for eating my pot plants! Ok! The Horde approves, we look forward to your battle!"
When I win, I'll pass left ghengis. Keep in mind, its legal here. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"A rabbit
How?
Play with it for abit hopefully wear it out
That's just cruel.. The Horde Cheers! Have some Arag and join the gang!
Need another rabbit wore the first one out "
You can have a drove |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'll fight a bear. But only in the morning since I am one.
What kind?
Just the big fat grizzly that drinks all the kokanee beer in our cooler every summer. Him and I - we got some bad blood between us.
(And yes, bears love kokanee beer. Not molson. Not pilsner. Not guiness. Not Coors. Not Budweiser. But kokanee. They will tear your camp up for it.)
You sound like you know your way around bears.. and beer.. So, I have to ask.. How?
Camping. And when I lived in British Columbia you get used to them being in your backyard every damn day. Beautiful but stinky animals, they are big jerks when they poop on your porch and eat all your pot plants.
I'd fight a bear for eating my pot plants! Ok! The Horde approves, we look forward to your battle!
When I win, I'll pass left ghengis. Keep in mind, its legal here. "
*Sir Ghengisborough scuttles over to the best side* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'll fight a bear. But only in the morning since I am one.
What kind?
Just the big fat grizzly that drinks all the kokanee beer in our cooler every summer. Him and I - we got some bad blood between us.
(And yes, bears love kokanee beer. Not molson. Not pilsner. Not guiness. Not Coors. Not Budweiser. But kokanee. They will tear your camp up for it.)
You sound like you know your way around bears.. and beer.. So, I have to ask.. How?
Camping. And when I lived in British Columbia you get used to them being in your backyard every damn day. Beautiful but stinky animals, they are big jerks when they poop on your porch and eat all your pot plants.
I'd fight a bear for eating my pot plants! Ok! The Horde approves, we look forward to your battle!
When I win, I'll pass left ghengis. Keep in mind, its legal here.
*Sir Ghengisborough scuttles over to the best side*"
Lol. Sativa ftw. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"A komodo dragon, an epic battle between man and beast as I try to grapple the muscular prehistoric throwback whilst avoiding its toxic bite..."
Dont get bit! You may as well give up there and then if you do. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sorry. I can't fight. Bone spurs.
Obviously nobody is braver than me and I know more about fighting animals than anybody. I would beat any animal you put up against me, bigly.
Donald Trump"
Bigly? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A komodo dragon, an epic battle between man and beast as I try to grapple the muscular prehistoric throwback whilst avoiding its toxic bite...
Dont get bit! You may as well give up there and then if you do."
Imagine the smell  |
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Horde screams in anticipation.
