FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Dressing to impress/ Have people stopped making the effort these days?

Dressing to impress/ Have people stopped making the effort these days?

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Curious to hear people’s opinions on this? In a world where people have less and less time we have found it rather disappointing to have made a big effort to get dressed up for a social and found the other side hasn’t? When you’ve showe_ed, shaved, done your hair and make up and spent time picking out your sexiest outfit and heels and the other side turn up like a sack of potatoes. It’s happening more and more and sometimes it seems to be the people that don’t even work so have all day to get ready. When this happens we just get out as quick as possible. If they don’t care about their appearance then we can imagine they don’t care much about their hygiene either. What do other people think? It’s just a discussion topic but would like to think others out there think the same?

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple over a year ago

Cumbria

There is a fine line between comfortable and stylish..

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By *ACHAEL JONESTV/TS over a year ago

CHESTER

I always dress to impress

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By *eliWoman over a year ago

I think that more people are embracing not feeling like you have to dress to the nines to be on a social - you can make an effort and be perfectly clean and hygienic without rocking up in studded Valentinos and a bodycon mini for a coffee .

If people dressing up is important to you and what you get from the experience, you can find a way to bring it up in conversation possibly?

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By *latinumkittenWoman over a year ago

from Home Counties to Middle Earth

I've not encounte_ed this, in fact the exact opposite. Those I've met have dressed to impress and made a great deal of very thoughtful effort.

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By *SAchickWoman over a year ago

Hillside desolate

I really don't care what people wear, I make the effort because it makes me feel better. I've met guys straight from their work or still in their football gear before, and I've met people suited and booted. It doesn't make a difference to how much I enjoy their company.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks for the replies guys which we appreciate. Think that maybe we’ve just been a bit unlucky a few times. Casual sexy and classy sexy are both good but it’s just lazy when people have made no effort. Not meaning to offend anyone but rather just our personal opinion and wonde_ed what other people’s opinions are?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Curious to hear people’s opinions on this? In a world where people have less and less time we have found it rather disappointing to have made a big effort to get dressed up for a social and found the other side hasn’t? When you’ve showe_ed, shaved, done your hair and make up and spent time picking out your sexiest outfit and heels and the other side turn up like a sack of potatoes. It’s happening more and more and sometimes it seems to be the people that don’t even work so have all day to get ready. When this happens we just get out as quick as possible. If they don’t care about their appearance then we can imagine they don’t care much about their hygiene either. What do other people think? It’s just a discussion topic but would like to think others out there think the same?"

Yes, we discove_ed this on a recent social. Dressed as if he was going to walk the dog or do some gardening. Lol. It killed the prospect of going further stone dead.

B/O and dirty joggers tucked into socks are not an image to cultivate the urge to book a room and shag.

We were surprised because on his pics he looked quite dapper and well groomed.

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By *ucidityWoman over a year ago

Nottingham

I’m generally of the opinion that you do what makes you feel best.

If I put on killer heels, a full face and tight clothing, I would not feel comfortable, I wouldn’t even feel like me. I’m very upfront about this in messaging, I am more of a casual girl and if my casual appearance isn’t for you then that is totally fine.

As far as I’m concerned, basic hygiene is vital but what you wear and how you look means very little to me. Of course I can appreciate someone who’s put a lot of time into their appearance but that isn’t going to want to make me talk to them more. That comes from within. You can’t dress up someone’s vibe, you can’t dress up someone’s spirit or the way they carry themselves or how they treat others.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We dress according to the time of day and venue. If it's a day time social then we'll be dressed casually, especially for the pub or a coffee. If we were having an evening social in a bar or hotel, then we'd be more dressed up.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Great mixed bag of replies and quite a difference of opinion but appreciate what you’ve all had to say and taking the time to reply.

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By *ucianpoundCouple over a year ago

Cap d’Agde, France

Isn’t being dolled up all part of the lifestyle.

A not inconsiderable part of our income goes on all those skimpy, sexy or slutty outfits not to mention the shoes and body jewellery, oh’ and the odd fancy shirt or so.

Most but not all make the effort down here in Cap D’Agde, we did go to a new club, Le New Bora, near Nimes where the guys looked like they were just going to the pub dresses in T-Shirts, shorts and sneakers.

Does think we’ve ever exited a club so quickly before!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

For me, I like to be at least smart casual for a social and a make a bit extra effort to be smart for a meet. I guess it's all down to personal taste, but a well dressed lady certainly catches my eye

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I (K) will always be clean, tidy, with hair and simple every-day make-up done. My clothes will always be smart/edgy casual though. Unless it's a big night out obviously.

I don't dress to the nines for meets. I don't do heels and I don't do fancy lingerie, ever.

I think it's important that I'm me and that anyone meeting us accepts that.

Incidentally, I don't "work" but that doesn't mean I have all day to get ready either

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’m generally of the opinion that you do what makes you feel best.

Exactly this - put much more eloquently than me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I never dress to impress someone else, I dress to express who I am and I’m not a suit & shoes type of guy. I wouldn’t dream of making someone else dress a certain way. Everyone has their own idea of why looks good.

As Sting once said, “Be yourself, no matter what they say”

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By *layfullsamMan over a year ago

Solihull

While every generation has smart and scruffy dressers I think in general it's gone downhill.

My local high street has a high % of people who look like they've run through a famous discount brand sports outlet and grabbed whatever has a 90% discount label on it without checking what size it is

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By *luebell888Woman over a year ago

Glasgowish

When i meet someone i always wear a dress, heels, do my hair and make up but in fairness i would not judge others on what they wear. I would rather they be relaxed and comfortable when meeting. I judge people on whats on the inside rather than the outside.

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

For me, unless someone is obviously dirty, their clothes are pretty irrelevant.

I always put in an effort myself (except with very good friends, occasionally). But my effort may not be what people are expecting (particularly as my dress sense leans fairly modest). I've yet to be criticised for it or have a social not go well, but sometimes these expectations are worth revisiting.

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By *ulfilthmentMan over a year ago

Just around the corner

I’ve never struggled to be both stylish and comfortable. On the other hand I’m not fussed how well turned out people are as long as they’re clean.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Fuzz always looks good, smartly dressed whether a social or more. Me, well I am uncomfortable in formal dresses and choose to wear whatever I feel happy in for that moment. Whether jeans and converse or skirt and boots, I'm still me and will dress for my comfort not anyine else's! My pjs have even made an appearance at a couple of after socials!!

Peach x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks for everyone’s opinions which have been divided but we appreciate them all. x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would never dream of attending any kind of meet not dressed up and ready to impress.

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By *a LunaWoman over a year ago

South Wales

I have daytime meets that are very informal (coffee) so i usually rock up in jeans, sketchers and a cagoule. I’ve showe_ed, attempted to tame my hair and put a bit of makeup on etc, but i’m not putting heels and a dress on (unless it’s Summer) as that’s just not me.

I’m an outdoorsy girl. I dress outdoorsy. When i have sex i take my clothes off and crack on.

No man has ever said no thanks Pet, you looked like a bag of shite.

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By *eilde HoarWoman over a year ago

In a wax coated bubble

I only have casual Informal socials so we dress for the location

If he was in smart clothes I'd be far too distracted to concentrate on what he was saying

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By *xperimentalistMan over a year ago

East Yorkshire

I always make the effort

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Not me! Im always smart ,well dressed and groomed. My beauty treatments are always done ,as are my nails! Waxing ...the lot!

And i like men and women to be the same x

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By *hunky GentMan over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"Not me! Im always smart ,well dressed and groomed. My beauty treatments are always done ,as are my nails! Waxing ...the lot!

And i like men and women to be the same x"

I'm not having my nails done. Or waxing.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If I'm having a social I'd dress in what I felt comfortable in, I wouldn't put a suit on just to make a better impression or to pander to a cliché

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Not me! Im always smart ,well dressed and groomed. My beauty treatments are always done ,as are my nails! Waxing ...the lot!

And i like men and women to be the same x"

Same with me but I do that anyway regardless of whether I’m meeting anyone. I do it for me and always have So in answer to the op I probably don’t make any extra effort when meeting someone.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Not me! Im always smart ,well dressed and groomed. My beauty treatments are always done ,as are my nails! Waxing ...the lot!

And i like men and women to be the same x

I'm not having my nails done. Or waxing.

Lol you know you want too

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By * and R cple4Couple over a year ago

swansea

It depends on the situation for us if it’s a day social then we are casual / smart if it’s a night social then more dressed up...

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By *r AmbassadorMan over a year ago

Dublin

So am I right I'm assuming that prior to the meet ye and said other or others have put in the ground work on here or other forms of chat apps,

And if so there was enough of a spark/ click to advance to a meet, and from your description of your getting ready dance, not just a social meet but if all worked out well a play meet,

But as soon as ya arrive ye judge said other on what they are wearing and the password to bolt for the door asap is Dropped..

I'd say ye need to get over yourselves, that or don't be in such a hurry to meet in the first place as Clearly ye did a lazy job on sussing the other or others out

Reading your thread again there, your doing more Judging than just asking a Question.

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By *hunky GentMan over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"Not me! Im always smart ,well dressed and groomed. My beauty treatments are always done ,as are my nails! Waxing ...the lot!

And i like men and women to be the same x

I'm not having my nails done. Or waxing.

Lol you know you want too"

There's lots of things I'd do to you...sorry for you, but even I have my limits.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes, we discove_ed this on a recent social. Dressed as if he was going to walk the dog or do some gardening. Lol. It killed the prospect of going further stone dead.

B/O and dirty joggers tucked into socks are not an image to cultivate the urge to book a room and shag.

We were surprised because on his pics he looked quite dapper and well groomed. "

Happened to me as well and this was a meet to shag, turned up and it seemed as if he had not even bothe_ed to bathe, ashen feet, wearing sliders and tracksuit bottoms. A hot mess. He was shocked when I said I was going home and that I would never fuck someone who hadn't put any effort in no matter how massive their dick was.

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By *lbinoGorillaMan over a year ago

Redditch

To be honest, I tend to be dressed pretty much the same more or less all the time - jeans (clean, smart and not ripped) shirt and a jacket.

If I'm more casual, it'll be a t-shirt.

But I wouldn't wear a t-shirt to a meet. But probably wouldn't be in a suit either. Just stick to what I'm comfortable with

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By *ily WhiteWoman over a year ago

I dress according to the time of day, location, and actively - so usually smart casual, a bit more dressy if going for evening drinks or dinner. However, I have had countryside walk meets, in which case i've rocked up in gym leggings and walking boots.

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By *ily WhiteWoman over a year ago

*activity

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I can add to this somewhat and possibly from a perspective. Maybe the person had been stood up before, possibly multiple times so didn't make an effort in case it was wasted once again?

I know I felt the same after it happened to me, I didn't want to make the effort for a while afterwards coz I felt like a right cunt when I did and got left waiting around like a total idiot.

I dunno, just my twopence worth.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So am I right I'm assuming that prior to the meet ye and said other or others have put in the ground work on here or other forms of chat apps,

And if so there was enough of a spark/ click to advance to a meet, and from your description of your getting ready dance, not just a social meet but if all worked out well a play meet,

But as soon as ya arrive ye judge said other on what they are wearing and the password to bolt for the door asap is Dropped..

I'd say ye need to get over yourselves, that or don't be in such a hurry to meet in the first place as Clearly ye did a lazy job on sussing the other or others out

Reading your thread again there, your doing more Judging than just asking a Question. "

I think it's preference, i wouldn't judge someone by their clothes, if oi like a person i like a person,but i do like to see people taking care of themselves,maybe it's because its my industry .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Tbh im totally crap at casaual,i don't know how to dress down.

...someone teach

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think that more people are embracing not feeling like you have to dress to the nines to be on a social - you can make an effort and be perfectly clean and hygienic without rocking up in studded Valentinos and a bodycon mini for a coffee .

If people dressing up is important to you and what you get from the experience, you can find a way to bring it up in conversation possibly? "

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By *iger4uWoman over a year ago

In my happy place

Newbies dont make as much effort and shower fresh with brushed teeth isnt hard to achieve you would think.

Existing friends are different. As we meet at each others houses often straight from work the shower gets used on arrival. Work clothes off.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman over a year ago

On a mooch

As long as they are clean and feel comfortable in themselves, I don’t care what they wear

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

For what it's worth here is my input. For a daytime social I'd do smartish casual by which I mean jeans (smart not dirty with holes), a shirt or fitted T shirt. First an evening encounter it would be shirt and trousers with smart shoes. I wouldn't ever wear a casual thrown on T shirt and I'll always be showe_ed, clean shaven and smelling nice but then I'd be horrified if anyone expecting any less.

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan over a year ago

Coventry

Not really trying to impress and feeling good for me is more a physiological state of mind rather than a superficial vaneer. Not to say I go round scruffy or unwashed, just I'm not OTT and just like to be relaxed. And of course there is always a factor of situation. Often I go to a club just to relax and throw off the stress of the world with my partner. Which is why I'm often found just in a nice set of boxers or my birthday suit, which of course involves no effort. Things maybe different for something like a party.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Great thread...

First impressions are important. I'll make an effort to look reasonably well turned out and I appreciate when the effort has been made for me.

I don't care if you're wearing £3 plimsolls from Tesco or Jimmy Choos as long as it's your look and you've put some thought into it.

Turning up in a tracksuit (women do it too which surprises me) for a first date is kinda rude. It says "I couldn't be arsed".

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've only been disappointed a couple of times, when I thought the other party was inappropriately dressed for the time of day and location. Neither led to anything.

More often, I've found the men I meet have similar views on appearance and grooming.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'll never dress to impress and it certainly isn't an interview! I have met for socials happily around my work and met guys straight from their work! I'm not looking to be impressed either ... if they're interesting, funny and we get to flirting then all is good in Fabland, if there is that amazing chemistry then woohoo! Next time would most likely be naked anyway!

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By *LIRTWITHUSCouple over a year ago

Chester

Smashual can't beat it, dress in what you look good and feel comfortable in. That being said, a younger male commented recently he prefers maturer women as they dress sexy, stockings etc unlike today's casual attire

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By *abrina59TV/TS over a year ago

moved to cuckold land

As I always do require time to dress and try look as fem as possible and do so love dressing up even just for myself, but do prefer if meeting others at least look smart & not too casually.

If met couples then found that they have always been dressed up to.

I think like anything if you chat with people before meeting and tell them that you prefer both parties to be dressed up for meets then if it not there thing they can back out then

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks once again for everyones opinion and comments. Just shows that we’re all different and it’s all about preference. In the past we have started conversations on fab with peoples who’s photos show then dressed up and looking very sexy and smart only to find the opposite on meets. We have always dropped the hints about what we like in the conversations so that’s why it can be annoying. It’s not about judging the persons personality or anything else but more to do with the kind of people we would like to play with personally. That’s what we are trying to say.

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By *r AmbassadorMan over a year ago

Dublin

"I'll never dress to impress and it certainly isn't an interview! I have met for socials happily around my work and met guys straight from their work! I'm not looking to be impressed either ... if they're interesting, funny and we get to flirting then all is good in Fabland, if there is that amazing chemistry then woohoo! Next time would most likely be naked anyway! "

Ohh big fan of Your work.

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By *edMan over a year ago

cambridgeshire

Clean clothes, clean body

Sparkling smile, eyes and teeth..

That'll do

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By *nkedMilfWoman over a year ago

Colchester

I always dress up for meets whether it be social or otherwise - although if I'm not feeling dressing up I do mention it to the other person (if it's someone I've met before) and let them decide if they're happy with me to be casual lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ohh big fan of Your work.

Why thank you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I often dress in my full panda gimp outfit, and I accessorize with diamond encrusted stilts. You'd be amazed how few people are impressed, though.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'll always dress smart no matter what.

First impressions count.

I'm not too fussed about what the other person wears, but it is nice if they have made a bit of an effort.

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By *uriousscouserWoman over a year ago

Wirral

I can't walk in heels and I don't ever wear a dress or skirt.

I do have a glorious selection of lingerie but if I'm meeting someone straight from work it's highly unlikely I will be wearing anything too flashy. I will wear subtle makeup and will style my hair, make sure I'm clean and smell nice, but I'm still going to be myself.

I don't object to others being dressed to the nines but I'm pretty open that that isn't who I am and isn't something anyone meeting me can expect.

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By *ud and BryanCouple over a year ago

Boston, Lincolnshire

We always dress to impress, but do get annoyed when people turn up to a meet in scruffy jeans or joggers & t-shirts

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

I spend much of my working week, in gym wear, or joggers & hoodie. Scruffy hair, no make up..

So yes, when I go out, I like to make an effort.

What kind of effort, really depends on who I'm meeting, and where though.

A fancy frock & heels, might look a bit out of place in Starbucks. Casual trousers & a t-shirt would be undressed for a cocktail bar.

I'd be offended if my date looked like he'd made no effort, put in any thought into looking presentable, I'd would flick the 'lazy' button in my head.

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By *r AmbassadorMan over a year ago

Dublin

Ohh big fan of Your work.

Why thank you

Ur welcome

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I really don't care what people wear, I make the effort because it makes me feel better. I've met guys straight from their work or still in their football gear before, and I've met people suited and booted. It doesn't make a difference to how much I enjoy their company. "

Saves me typing. Pretty much what said

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I prefer socials to be quite relaxed things.

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By *urved HunnyWoman over a year ago

Essex

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By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

For a vertical meet then whatever they feel comfortable in.

For a horizontal as long as they're are clean and fresh it makes no odds to me as I'll probably have them naked imminently

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks for all your comments and points of view guys whatever they are.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I wear business dress for work, so always very smart. I would never dream of turning up to meet someone in tracky bottoms and a t shirt. I always appreciate people taking the time and effort when meeting us. For me it's all part of the attràction. A beautifully wrapped presant is more appealing than something in a screwed up carrier bag...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

With me it always depends on the timing of the meeting.....

If before 6 pm , always suit and tie

6pm - 12 am, always smart casual

12am - 5am , I’m meeting you in my pajamas

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

What do you mean 'sack of potatoes?' I don't know if this means 'lazy, slovenly, dirty, unhealthy people or just not in glitter and glitz.

If the appearance part is all part of the meet for you then state that in your profile and in conversations.

I'm with you part of the way. It all adds to the 'ambience' and excitement and temptation of the meet.

If I already knew them , then what's the point. We are all in 'kit off' mode.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I once met a guy wearing tracksuit bottoms and a stained t-shirt - he said he thought I wouldn't turn up for the meet so didn't bother go home after work to change.. I finished my drink and went home alone.

I didn't meet him again. Even though he wanted.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm very much a jeans and t-shirt type person. Unless it's the summer in which case I'm a shorts and t-shirt type person. I've turned upto socials on my bike and in lycra before (the other party has known that would be the case). I go clubbing in my kilt. If somewhere expects more formal I dobt go as I don't feel comfortable.

I tell you something though I dont look like a sack of spuds, I do care about hygiene and I dont judge people who think that something more formal is somehow necessary rather than just wearing what they are comfortable in

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I open the hotel room door to them wearing nothing but a smile.

Saves me the indignity of them thinking I'm wearing the wrong clothes

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By *unloversCouple over a year ago

rotherham

I dress to what I feel comfortable in which is usually something sexy

If a guy turned up at our home looking like a bag of shit then I’m afraid I wouldn’t be interested

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I must be lucky.

People in the past I've met, have always made an effort - and so do I. Certainly would make my excuses and leave if they hadn't.

Regards

Miss

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By * and M lookingCouple over a year ago

Worcester

The funniest thing about this is that guys will message and ask what Mrs M thinks they should wear

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think it just shows you aren't compatible. If someone isn't socially aware enough to make a bit of an effort and wear something suitable to the occasion and environment then I won't be taking things further. Wayne Slob is not part of my sexual fantasy life.

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By * and M lookingCouple over a year ago

Worcester

If they rock up and the male is wearing skinny jeans, no socks and loafers then bye bye.

Not looking to meet Max Wall.

Google him if he’s before your time

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't dress to impress. Unless myself.

I dress, because i like certain fabrics on my body, because I like composing colours, patterns, putting things together. If that is appreciated, then great. If not, i still am happy with my "creation of myself".

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By *ourneblondeWoman over a year ago

Bourne

I agree a man should always dress up when meeting a lady for the first time at least.

It shows what he thinks about himself and obviously her

After all if you own no nice clothes or ashamed to look nice then you can jog on and go to one of those ladies who will take any guy on

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I agree a man should always dress up when meeting a lady for the first time at least.

It shows what he thinks about himself and obviously her

After all if you own no nice clothes or ashamed to look nice then you can jog on and go to one of those ladies who will take any guy on"

I made the effort to go smart casual only to be told she prefers T shirt and jeans. Can't win...

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I agree a man should always dress up when meeting a lady for the first time at least.

It shows what he thinks about himself and obviously her

After all if you own no nice clothes or ashamed to look nice then you can jog on and go to one of those ladies who will take any guy on"

I don't think this is true at all.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The world in general,I can remember old boys going to work in jacket n trousers,n that was in construction, jogging bottoms urgh,unless your actually jogging,which most wearers seem not to do

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By *ark ph0enixWoman over a year ago

Teesside

I don't dress to impress a meet or social partner.

I dress to please me. Yes that involves time and effort but if i cant please myself what chance do they have of plessing me!?

I'm a little quirky in style, but if that puts them off? Well im not going to overly worry about that

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By *o_eye_deerMan over a year ago

The South Near That London

I always try and make an effort, and often get positive comments, as I believe in the old 'Look Good - Feel Good" saying; and I must be one of the rarities - a man who loves to go shopping!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I always try and make an effort, and often get positive comments, as I believe in the old 'Look Good - Feel Good" saying; and I must be one of the rarities - a man who loves to go shopping! "

I agree, look good to feel good. Want to go shopping? Know any good tailors?

Fuzz

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I don't dress to impress a meet or social partner.

I dress to please me. Yes that involves time and effort but if i cant please myself what chance do they have of plessing me!?

I'm a little quirky in style, but if that puts them off? Well im not going to overly worry about that "

Absolutely this!

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By *o_eye_deerMan over a year ago

The South Near That London

"I always try and make an effort, and often get positive comments, as I believe in the old 'Look Good - Feel Good" saying; and I must be one of the rarities - a man who loves to go shopping!

I agree, look good to feel good. Want to go shopping? Know any good tailors?

Fuzz"

We could start a new trend

Know a couple, but try not too visit too often as I just cant say no to anything

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By *uenevereWoman over a year ago

Scunthorpe

Even for a social I expect some effort.

Not smart necessary but clean casual top and jeans is fine.

Sorry, but anyone who considers joggers of any sort as acceptable every day wear, is not for me.

The only exception to being clean and tidy is if it is lunchtime and they are in work wear - as long as they have given advance warning.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Thanks once again for everyones opinion and comments. Just shows that we’re all different and it’s all about preference. In the past we have started conversations on fab with peoples who’s photos show then dressed up and looking very sexy and smart only to find the opposite on meets. We have always dropped the hints about what we like in the conversations so that’s why it can be annoying. It’s not about judging the persons personality or anything else but more to do with the kind of people we would like to play with personally. That’s what we are trying to say."

My pics show me in my underwear or nice dress but that doesn’t mean I meet wearing them items. I usually of a day am in jeans and converse and never heels

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I think these days, a lot of the old rules about dress codes have been discarded. I'm not inclined to add that additional hurdle. As long as someone is relatively clean and tidy for a social, I'm not desperately bothe_ed by what they're wearing.

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By *r AmbassadorMan over a year ago

Dublin

"I think these days, a lot of the old rules about dress codes have been discarded. I'm not inclined to add that additional hurdle. As long as someone is relatively clean and tidy for a social, I'm not desperately bothe_ed by what they're wearing. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks once again for all the replies. I’m glad to see most people agree but I guess we’re all different and obviously not everyone is going to agree. Non of this is a personal attack but more a talking point. Thanks once again.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There is a fine line between comfortable and stylish.."

I met a man who turned up scruffy. He turned out to be my best shag.

If he'd been wearing a suit it would have turned me right off. I hate men in suits.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There is a fine line between comfortable and stylish..

I met a man who turned up scruffy. He turned out to be my best shag.

If he'd been wearing a suit it would have turned me right off. I hate men in suits. "

I love a man in a suit but I certainly wouldn’t expect him to turn up wearing one I’d find it really weird. I’ve sat here pondering how I perceive people I’ve met and as long as they are compatible with me then I’ve never really ca_ed what they are wearing as they will usually be dressed similar, smart casual.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I always make a effort in all I do that's part of the excitement

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By *parkle1974Woman over a year ago

Leeds

"With me it always depends on the timing of the meeting.....

If before 6 pm , always suit and tie

6pm - 12 am, always smart casual

12am - 5am , I’m meeting you in my pajamas

Love this but there would be no pj's

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There is a fine line between comfortable and stylish..

I met a man who turned up scruffy. He turned out to be my best shag.

If he'd been wearing a suit it would have turned me right off. I hate men in suits.

I'd find it weird too. Unless he'd come straight from court.

The scruffy guy I thought was a tit for turning up like that. I was happy to be wrong.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There is a fine line between comfortable and stylish..

I met a man who turned up scruffy. He turned out to be my best shag.

If he'd been wearing a suit it would have turned me right off. I hate men in suits.

I'd find it weird too. Unless he'd come straight from court.

The scruffy guy I thought was a tit for turning up like that. I was happy to be wrong. "

I like it when things like that happen.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I agree a man should always dress up when meeting a lady for the first time at least.

It shows what he thinks about himself and obviously her

After all if you own no nice clothes or ashamed to look nice then you can jog on and go to one of those ladies who will take any guy on

I don't think this is true at all. "

Me either

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman over a year ago

your imagination

I tend to dress appropriate to the time of day, location and weather. I'm not going to rock up to Costa at 10am in thigh high boots, bustier and fishnets... Likewise I wouldn't be found in a bar or club at 10pm in sweats and trainers. If I'm just meeting someone for a coffee during the day, I'll dress smart casual and generally expect the same, but have no problem if someone tells me in advance that they're coming from work and won't have time to change, etc... It's just coffee, and everyone should feel relaxed and comfortable

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By *ensualtouch15Man over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

I deliberately dress not to impress

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By *eoeclipseWoman over a year ago

glasgow

I'm surprised to hear no-one mentioned hoodies.

I'm a tomboy & always in skinny jeans, top, hoodie & boots/trainers. It's far too cold for skirts & fancy tops. Heels are a nightmare.

Clean is more important than what your wearing.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Always dress to impress!

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By *exyangietgirlTV/TS over a year ago

edinburgh

I always dress to impress too. I think a lot of girls like me make an extra effort to do so.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"With me it always depends on the timing of the meeting.....

If before 6 pm , always suit and tie

6pm - 12 am, always smart casual

12am - 5am , I’m meeting you in my pajamas

Love this but there would be no pj's

There is no way I’m getting dressed up if you’re coming to my house after 12 am

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By *omesticated_VixenWoman over a year ago

sw London

I always dress to impress but do it for me and that my hubby loves it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I always make sure I look my best but I'm not sure why so many people are mentioning sexy/skmpy outfits.

If it's just a social or even if it's more, skimpy or tight clothing does not nessarrly mean sexy. Often less is more.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Reading the thread there is definitely a diffince in opinion in those over 45 than those who are under. On the whole those under 45 seem less fussed as long as the person is clean and tidy. Those over that seem to expect more. I find that really interesting.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I always make sure that I am well turned out...clean and smell as well as I can... might not be everyone's idea though... but that does not matter

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

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By *inky SpiceWoman over a year ago

Glasgow

I love to dress up and always make a bit of an effort. How much I dressed up would depend on where I was meeting though, I'd feel silly in sexy lingerie in the middle of a Costa

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I love to dress up and always make a bit of an effort. How much I dressed up would depend on where I was meeting though, I'd feel silly in sexy lingerie in the middle of a Costa

They would let you in at least... there are not many place that would... when dressed in lingerie

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By * and M lookingCouple over a year ago

Worcester

"Reading the thread there is definitely a diffince in opinion in those over 45 than those who are under. On the whole those under 45 seem less fussed as long as the person is clean and tidy. Those over that seem to expect more. I find that really interesting. "

That just says those of us over 45 have higher standards

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That just says those of us over 45 have higher standards

It’s not higher standards, it’s different standards.

Just because someone prefers a certain style of clothing doesn’t make them better than anyone else

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By * and M lookingCouple over a year ago

Worcester

That just says those of us over 45 have higher standards

It’s not higher standards, it’s different standards.

Just because someone prefers a certain style of clothing doesn’t make them better than anyone else"

It's not the clothing it the whole package.

As we always say you will only get out what you put in.

Zero effort = Zero rewards

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By *rAitchMan over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

I don't own a suit. At the best, I do "smart casual", whatever that means, but my idea of smart casual could differ to someone else's.

I have to be smart casual for work, so if my (lack of) dress sense is good enough for meeting clients, then it's good enough for other meetings, too

But, I feel more comfortable in cargo trousers or jeans, tee shirts and trainers.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I dont wear suits anymore

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By * and M lookingCouple over a year ago

Worcester

"I don't own a suit. At the best, I do "smart casual", whatever that means, but my idea of smart casual could differ to someone else's.

I have to be smart casual for work, so if my (lack of) dress sense is good enough for meeting clients, then it's good enough for other meetings, too

But, I feel more comfortable in cargo trousers or jeans, tee shirts and trainers."

Smart casual is all good as long as its fresh and clean.

Cant stand a man in a suit.

Always come across as a shiny arsed rep.

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By *orthern StarsCouple over a year ago

Durham

We always like to make an effort with how we look and do appreciate people doing the same. If someone rolled up in baggy jogging bottoms for example, then we wouldn't be super impressed.

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By *nto My ArmsMan over a year ago

Herts/London

"edgy casual"

I like this description.

Dressing with confidence and with a playful swagger is seductive.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I was at a comic art festival yesterday and not a single person there (apart from security) was dressed “smart” but they looked great and clearly put a lot of effort into it.

Your style is your style, as long as you’re clean it’s all good

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't own a suit. At the best, I do "smart casual", whatever that means, but my idea of smart casual could differ to someone else's.

I have to be smart casual for work, so if my (lack of) dress sense is good enough for meeting clients, then it's good enough for other meetings, too

But, I feel more comfortable in cargo trousers or jeans, tee shirts and trainers.

Smart casual is all good as long as its fresh and clean.

Cant stand a man in a suit.

Always come across as a shiny arsed rep.

"
lol

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By *ikeC81Man over a year ago

harrow

So smart casual if evening

It could be jeans, polo shirt and a suit jacked with shoes

If during the day, jeans polo and jumper and trainers if cofee

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That just says those of us over 45 have higher standards

No it doesn't. It means that those under 45 don't just see the clothes, they see the person.

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By *ove3funCouple over a year ago

Cheltenham

I'm not so bothe_ed about the style, they can be as casual as they like however the cleanliness thing is massive. Who wants to get up close to someone stinky

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By *T.round2Woman over a year ago

Darlington

I find it a bit odd that a lot of people seem to be getting disappointed by their own expectations.

Aren’t you talking about it beforehand? I find the discussion, and requests to wear certain things really fun and a good turn on.

Equally though if I’m meeting someone for an impromptu cuppa and I’m in my scruffs (atm that’s jeans and a jumper!) then I’ll say so. Just seems the logical thing to do

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By *actilemale4uMan over a year ago

London

I make an effort to look my best for a meet

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By *abs..Woman over a year ago

My decision is based on where and when I’m meeting, just as I decide on what to wear at any other time. I won’t wear what people expect or ask me to wear.

I would always make an effort but I wouldn’t wear anything I didn’t feel comfortable wearing.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I find it a bit odd that a lot of people seem to be getting disappointed by their own expectations.

Aren’t you talking about it beforehand? I find the discussion, and requests to wear certain things really fun and a good turn on.

Equally though if I’m meeting someone for an impromptu cuppa and I’m in my scruffs (atm that’s jeans and a jumper!) then I’ll say so. Just seems the logical thing to do"

I think you have hit the nail on the head.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That just says those of us over 45 have higher standards

No it doesn't. It means that those under 45 don't just see the clothes, they see the person. "

I hope you're right. But some of the best dressed people I know are under 30 and wouldn't dream of going on a date poorly dressed.

I still think it's rude to go on a date having "just come from the gym" yes you're freshly showe_ed, but I'm obviously not a priority if you've just slipped on a tracksuit out of your bag. What else won't you make an effort with...

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By *rAitchMan over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

"I don't own a suit. At the best, I do "smart casual", whatever that means, but my idea of smart casual could differ to someone else's.

I have to be smart casual for work, so if my (lack of) dress sense is good enough for meeting clients, then it's good enough for other meetings, too

But, I feel more comfortable in cargo trousers or jeans, tee shirts and trainers.

Smart casual is all good as long as its fresh and clean.

Cant stand a man in a suit.

Always come across as a shiny arsed rep.

Always fresh, clean and ironed, and my clothes are, too

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That just says those of us over 45 have higher standards

No it doesn't. It means that those under 45 don't just see the clothes, they see the person.

I hope you're right. But some of the best dressed people I know are under 30 and wouldn't dream of going on a date poorly dressed.

See it all depends on the situation. You have date, so yes if I was going on a date then my expectations may be higher than if I'm meeting someone for a fab social.

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By *ady23Woman over a year ago

Coventry

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By * and M lookingCouple over a year ago

Worcester

That just says those of us over 45 have higher standards

No it doesn't. It means that those under 45 don't just see the clothes, they see the person. "

Total rubbish

Who wants to meet a stunner who is dressed like a bag of rags.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That just says those of us over 45 have higher standards

No it doesn't. It means that those under 45 don't just see the clothes, they see the person.

Total rubbish

Who wants to meet a stunner who is dressed like a bag of rags.

You're assuming people only look stunning when dressed up? So much more than window dressing ...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That just says those of us over 45 have higher standards

No it doesn't. It means that those under 45 don't just see the clothes, they see the person.

Total rubbish

Who wants to meet a stunner who is dressed like a bag of rags.

It's not rubbish at all. Define rags!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This thread, along with countless others and threads about club dresscodes makes me think that swinging is still quite middle aged, middle class and conservative.

And i dont say that as an overt criticism, it just surprises me a little.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This thread, along with countless others and threads about club dresscodes makes me think that swinging is still quite middle aged, middle class and conservative.

And i dont say that as an overt criticism, it just surprises me a little. "

I could not agree more. However I think that is changing and some don't like it. Sex and being sexual is for everyone.

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By *SAchickWoman over a year ago

Hillside desolate

That just says those of us over 45 have higher standards

No it doesn't. It means that those under 45 don't just see the clothes, they see the person.

Total rubbish

Who wants to meet a stunner who is dressed like a bag of rags.

If she's a stunner, she's a stunner whatever she's wearing. The "rags" wouldn't be staying on anyway if all goes well.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't own a suit. At the best, I do "smart casual", whatever that means, but my idea of smart casual could differ to someone else's.

I have to be smart casual for work, so if my (lack of) dress sense is good enough for meeting clients, then it's good enough for other meetings, too

But, I feel more comfortable in cargo trousers or jeans, tee shirts and trainers.

Smart casual is all good as long as its fresh and clean.

Cant stand a man in a suit.

Always come across as a shiny arsed rep.

I find men in suits really dodgy.

Politicians... bank managers... men in court for stealing old lady's handbags... types that wear suits.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That just says those of us over 45 have higher standards

No it doesn't. It means that those under 45 don't just see the clothes, they see the person.

Total rubbish

Who wants to meet a stunner who is dressed like a bag of rags.

If she's a stunner, she's a stunner whatever she's wearing. The "rags" wouldn't be staying on anyway if all goes well. "

Exactly and the responses to my post have proved my point.

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By *hloevtTV/TS over a year ago

norwich

I make a big effort , being a girl is bloody hard work !!!

Wouldn't want to do it every day , i havent maste_ed the mood swings yet but i can say "im fine" quite well xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This thread, along with countless others and threads about club dresscodes makes me think that swinging is still quite middle aged, middle class and conservative.

And i dont say that as an overt criticism, it just surprises me a little.

I could not agree more. However I think that is changing and some don't like it. Sex and being sexual is for everyone. "

I remember a now defunct club defending it's policy of expecting men to wear trousers and a shirt as a minimum with the comment "you wouldn't go to a funeral or a wedding in jeans and a tshirt so why would you go to a swingers club" and they honestly couldn't see why that comment really made no sense.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This thread, along with countless others and threads about club dresscodes makes me think that swinging is still quite middle aged, middle class and conservative.

And i dont say that as an overt criticism, it just surprises me a little. "

If a woman turned up to a meet with you wearing a Coldplay tshirt, shellsuit bottoms and her hair in a massive bun on top of her head, would that affect your opinion of her?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I make a big effort , being a girl is bloody hard work !!!

Wouldn't want to do it every day , i havent maste_ed the mood swings yet but i can say "im fine" quite well xx

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By * and M lookingCouple over a year ago

Worcester

That just says those of us over 45 have higher standards

No it doesn't. It means that those under 45 don't just see the clothes, they see the person.

Total rubbish

Who wants to meet a stunner who is dressed like a bag of rags.

It's not rubbish at all. Define rags!

Untidy, say 3 stripe track suit bottoms and trainers.

What people wear says a lot about them.

Well to the more discerning amongst us anyway.

In our day you would no way get into a club if you were jeans and trainers.

Today it seems anything goes

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By *nto My ArmsMan over a year ago

Herts/London

"This thread, along with countless others and threads about club dresscodes makes me think that swinging is still quite middle aged, middle class and conservative.

And i dont say that as an overt criticism, it just surprises me a little.

If a woman turned up to a meet with you wearing a Coldplay tshirt, shellsuit bottoms and her hair in a massive bun on top of her head, would that affect your opinion of her?"

I'd think she hated music

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By * and M lookingCouple over a year ago

Worcester

That just says those of us over 45 have higher standards

No it doesn't. It means that those under 45 don't just see the clothes, they see the person.

Total rubbish

Who wants to meet a stunner who is dressed like a bag of rags.

If she's a stunner, she's a stunner whatever she's wearing. The "rags" wouldn't be staying on anyway if all goes well.

Exactly and the responses to my post have proved my point. "

There is no point to prove.

You play your way

We play ours, it's that simple.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That just says those of us over 45 have higher standards

No it doesn't. It means that those under 45 don't just see the clothes, they see the person.

Total rubbish

Who wants to meet a stunner who is dressed like a bag of rags.

It's not rubbish at all. Define rags!

Untidy, say 3 stripe track suit bottoms and trainers.

What people wear says a lot about them.

Well to the more discerning amongst us anyway.

In our day you would no way get into a club if you were jeans and trainers.

Today it seems anything goes

Smart clothing does not make someone classy, there attitude towards others does.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That just says those of us over 45 have higher standards

No it doesn't. It means that those under 45 don't just see the clothes, they see the person.

Total rubbish

Who wants to meet a stunner who is dressed like a bag of rags.

If she's a stunner, she's a stunner whatever she's wearing. The "rags" wouldn't be staying on anyway if all goes well.

Exactly and the responses to my post have proved my point.

There is no point to prove.

You play your way

We play ours, it's that simple."

It's called having an opinion.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This thread, along with countless others and threads about club dresscodes makes me think that swinging is still quite middle aged, middle class and conservative.

And i dont say that as an overt criticism, it just surprises me a little.

If a woman turned up to a meet with you wearing a Coldplay tshirt, shellsuit bottoms and her hair in a massive bun on top of her head, would that affect your opinion of her?"

It would never happen. Every meet I've ever had I've established their coldplay opinions before I've met them

But joking aside there's a huge difference between the image you reference and the overly formal image many seem to think equates to 'making an effort'.

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

That just says those of us over 45 have higher standards

No it doesn't. It means that those under 45 don't just see the clothes, they see the person.

Total rubbish

Who wants to meet a stunner who is dressed like a bag of rags.

It's not rubbish at all. Define rags!

Untidy, say 3 stripe track suit bottoms and trainers.

What people wear says a lot about them.

Well to the more discerning amongst us anyway.

In our day you would no way get into a club if you were jeans and trainers.

Today it seems anything goes

Those three stripe tracksuit bottoms are expensive

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This thread, along with countless others and threads about club dresscodes makes me think that swinging is still quite middle aged, middle class and conservative.

And i dont say that as an overt criticism, it just surprises me a little.

If a woman turned up to a meet with you wearing a Coldplay tshirt, shellsuit bottoms and her hair in a massive bun on top of her head, would that affect your opinion of her?

It would never happen. Every meet I've ever had I've established their coldplay opinions before I've met them

But joking aside there's a huge difference between the image you reference and the overly formal image many seem to think equates to 'making an effort'. "

Good point.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It makes me feel good. The day I'd stop to do so... It means I am really, really, like really depressed

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It makes me feel good. The day I'd stop to do so... It means I am really, really, like really depressed "

Those books. Perfect choice of accessories!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I haven't read the whole thread - but I have to admit to feeling like an imposter when I'm dressed up.

I'm not comfortable and feel like I look a bit silly.

I like to be squeaky clean with a little make up and perfume on and maybe some lingerie if it's a fab meet.

But I dont like or wear heels.

I'm not wearing them for anyone!

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I'm just imagining some people here dismissing, say, a personal trainer, whose "uniform" is often high end sports wear, who'll be very impressive to look at, physically capable, etc, because she shows up neat, clean, and in her work wear.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I always dress well

It’s part of my personality and femininity

It’s part of my profession

I love glamour

I love style

Sadly, most men look appalling unless they have a woman in their lives advising them... in which case they’re not of interest to me.

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By *om and JennieCouple over a year ago

Chams or Socials

Ive seen posts where people have been at clubs and seen people come pretty much straight from work expecting to play not just socialise.

You never get a second chance to make a first impression even if meeting socially.

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By * and M lookingCouple over a year ago

Worcester

That just says those of us over 45 have higher standards

No it doesn't. It means that those under 45 don't just see the clothes, they see the person.

Total rubbish

Who wants to meet a stunner who is dressed like a bag of rags.

It's not rubbish at all. Define rags!

Untidy, say 3 stripe track suit bottoms and trainers.

What people wear says a lot about them.

Well to the more discerning amongst us anyway.

In our day you would no way get into a club if you were jeans and trainers.

Today it seems anything goes

Those three stripe tracksuit bottoms are expensive

Maybe the ones that all the Chavs seem to wear must be fakes maybe?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I like to wear a t shirt but on the t shirt there is a nice bow tie and cravat, ready to tackle any challenge

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By * and M lookingCouple over a year ago

Worcester

"I like to wear a t shirt but on the t shirt there is a nice bow tie and cravat, ready to tackle any challenge "

That's "Smart casual" being taken to a whole new level

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I like to wear a t shirt but on the t shirt there is a nice bow tie and cravat, ready to tackle any challenge

That's "Smart casual" being taken to a whole new level

It gets mixed reviews unfortunately

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I do think that dressing casually doesn't necessarily equate to poor hygiene. Just like someone can dress well and not be clean (although admittedly less likely)

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By * and M lookingCouple over a year ago

Worcester

"I like to wear a t shirt but on the t shirt there is a nice bow tie and cravat, ready to tackle any challenge

That's "Smart casual" being taken to a whole new level

It gets mixed reviews unfortunately "

Keep up the good work

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I like to wear a t shirt but on the t shirt there is a nice bow tie and cravat, ready to tackle any challenge

That's "Smart casual" being taken to a whole new level

It gets mixed reviews unfortunately

Keep up the good work

Fighting the good fight

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By *r MoriartyMan over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)

I've lost count of the amount of women who haven't even bothe_ed to put any knickers on when meeting me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've lost count of the amount of women who haven't even bothe_ed to put any knickers on when meeting me

Dirty bags.

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By * and M lookingCouple over a year ago

Worcester

"I've lost count of the amount of women who haven't even bothe_ed to put any knickers on when meeting me

When you said that they need to meet Nicholas, they miss heard you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"edgy casual

I like this description.

Dressing with confidence and with a playful swagger is seductive. "

And you sir appear to be the embodiment of it. Exactly the edgy casual we so love

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By *ipvanwinkieMan over a year ago

out of town!

"I love to dress up and always make a bit of an effort. How much I dressed up would depend on where I was meeting though, I'd feel silly in sexy lingerie in the middle of a Costa

We could always meet in Starbucks then?

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By *inky SpiceWoman over a year ago

Glasgow

"I love to dress up and always make a bit of an effort. How much I dressed up would depend on where I was meeting though, I'd feel silly in sexy lingerie in the middle of a Costa

We could always meet in Starbucks then?"

Only if you get me a strawberries and cream frappachino

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I tend to wear jeans and docs. the only time I wear a dress and some sort of heel is on a night out or to a club.

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By *ill-Ian KissesCouple over a year ago

Somewhere over there

I don’t tend to wear makeup at work or skirts unless formal event.

So I like getting dressed up; unfortunately I’ve damaged ligaments in my ankles which mean I can’t wear certain heels for long.

I have occasionally gone to cjs more casual if coming away from a vanilla event but only because I’m comfortable at the club, surrounded by friends.

If we go on meets then always dress up. Ian tends to wear work uniform & boots during the week so prefers wearing a suit (or occasional kilt!)

Think clean, fresh breath and some effort in appearance is important but it’s more about personality

Millie x

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