ok, so i have been meeting a guy off another site who was engaged (yes i know, boo hiss bad lady..whatever) we have met on a number of occasions but mainly when he was high or tipsy.
His Fiance died about a week ago and he has messaged me since about wanting to come over
i feel that if he wants to meet for sex it is too soon and feel really awkward when he messages me.
how can i express this to him without hurting him? |
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"You did it when she was alive so why not now she's gone?"
this might sound crass but maybe she was a barrier? there had been a few occasions when he said he loved me. i brushed it off as him beig high and saying what he thoght i wanted to hear and because he was engaged he didn mean it anyway.
but now, what if he said it again? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You did it when she was alive so why not now she's gone?
this might sound crass but maybe she was a barrier? there had been a few occasions when he said he loved me. i brushed it off as him beig high and saying what he thoght i wanted to hear and because he was engaged he didn mean it anyway.
but now, what if he said it again? "
Why treat it any different?
His fiance was going to marry him and both of them would make vows to each other and he would soon come to see you again and you would have carried on the affair and the only heart broken would have been hers when she found out.
A man will tell you and promise you anything when his balls are full so don't believe the lovey stuff.
You made the choice to start a relationship with him and now his fiance is no longer in the way you could carry on without anyone getting hurt. |
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I don't have any moral barrier when it comes to him being engaged, that's your business....but doesn't he strike you as a bit of a cold sod wanting to meet you just a week after his fiance has died?
Is he totally devoid of all feelings? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do you know if he is telling the truth?
Being a stoner and drinker and only coming to see you when he's loaded to use you to empty his nuts sounds like a ropey situation at best. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't have any moral barrier when it comes to him being engaged, that's your business....but doesn't he strike you as a bit of a cold sod wanting to meet you just a week after his fiance has died?
Is he totally devoid of all feelings?"
Poor bloke just needs some comfort, not saying its right though. |
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that thought did cross my mind to be fair but i have no way of knowing either way!
Jane - yes i do think it very odd that he can think of coming to see me so soon, although he hasnt said it would be for sex, but thats all we have ever done so its a fair guess.
maybe its the fact that i dont love him or have feelings for him that i am scared of conronting with him? |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"ok, so i have been meeting a guy off another site who was engaged (yes i know, boo hiss bad lady..whatever) we have met on a number of occasions but mainly when he was high or tipsy.
His Fiance died about a week ago and he has messaged me since about wanting to come over
i feel that if he wants to meet for sex it is too soon and feel really awkward when he messages me.
how can i express this to him without hurting him? "
Be honest xxx |
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By *waymanMan
over a year ago
newcastle |
"ok, so i have been meeting a guy off another site who was engaged (yes i know, boo hiss bad lady..whatever) we have met on a number of occasions but mainly when he was high or tipsy.
His Fiance died about a week ago and he has messaged me since about wanting to come over
i feel that if he wants to meet for sex it is too soon and feel really awkward when he messages me.
how can i express this to him without hurting him? "
It's quite likely that you can't.
He sounds needy, and not in a good way.
Ignore the people who will judge you for getting involved with him. Focus on what you get out of this, and what the likely outcome is.
You know who and what he is, and have excluded love - if you think you're right, and you're being honest with yourself, why change the terms of the arrangement?
My guess is that you fear the terms of the arrangement might change; possibly too, that you're not sure if you believe him. If either is true, disengaging, irrespective of whether it hurts him, would be a good call. |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"In all fairness at the moment I think all blokes are complete wank stains.....  "
Shame on you!!! Dont under estimate mens powers of sussing a man hater out, so dont let that thought get too deep seated.....few trips to chams youll be reet  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"ok, so i have been meeting a guy off another site who was engaged (yes i know, boo hiss bad lady..whatever) we have met on a number of occasions but mainly when he was high or tipsy.
His Fiance died about a week ago and he has messaged me since about wanting to come over
i feel that if he wants to meet for sex it is too soon and feel really awkward when he messages me.
how can i express this to him without hurting him?
It's quite likely that you can't.
He sounds needy, and not in a good way.
Ignore the people who will judge you for getting involved with him. Focus on what you get out of this, and what the likely outcome is.
You know who and what he is, and have excluded love - if you think you're right, and you're being honest with yourself, why change the terms of the arrangement?
My guess is that you fear the terms of the arrangement might change; possibly too, that you're not sure if you believe him. If either is true, disengaging, irrespective of whether it hurts him, would be a good call."
What he said above... Wise words...
Sounds like it's time to move on. I know I've only got what you've said to go on but it doesn't feel right. He seems to need you more than you need him. Be careful and do what's best for you, not him. xx |
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"ok, so i have been meeting a guy off another site who was engaged (yes i know, boo hiss bad lady..whatever) we have met on a number of occasions but mainly when he was high or tipsy.
His Fiance died about a week ago and he has messaged me since about wanting to come over
i feel that if he wants to meet for sex it is too soon and feel really awkward when he messages me.
how can i express this to him without hurting him?
It's quite likely that you can't.
He sounds needy, and not in a good way.
Ignore the people who will judge you for getting involved with him. Focus on what you get out of this, and what the likely outcome is.
You know who and what he is, and have excluded love - if you think you're right, and you're being honest with yourself, why change the terms of the arrangement?
My guess is that you fear the terms of the arrangement might change; possibly too, that you're not sure if you believe him. If either is true, disengaging, irrespective of whether it hurts him, would be a good call.
What he said above... Wise words...
Sounds like it's time to move on. I know I've only got what you've said to go on but it doesn't feel right. He seems to need you more than you need him. Be careful and do what's best for you, not him. xx"
listen to the wise man...he isnt a friend being needy, but someone who wants more than you are willing to give... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So his Fiancée died, he has said that he loved you in the past, you put it down to his being High/tipsy..... You think its all too soon. Having worked for a bit in mental health, can I remind you about psychopathic behaviour....the cold needles of total fear... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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maybe he wants to talk!! i met a bloke ages ago whose son had just died and he just wanted to be held talk to him oh and i have the morals of an alley cat!! lol if you like him go for it |
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