FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > What to do

What to do

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Recently got attacked by a young guy in fab. His complaint was we had read his mails and not answered. We had exchanged messages for a while but we had ceased responding, hoping he would do the same. We then got a pretty nasty mail from him, very racist indeed. We blocked him but very unsettling.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Report to site admin.

No room for people like that on here and should be banned from site.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That's awful, hope you are OK! Sorry for my language but what the fuck is wrong with people on here. The amount of time I hear of women getting abuse just because there not interested is unreal. Like what do people expect from this. Not everyone is going to suit everyone and even then sometime after a while of chatting you might realise there not for you. Fucking gremlins man

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Report to site admin.

No room for people like that on here and should be banned from site."

I agree ... but generally they just rejoin using another email address

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By *inkyman1964Man over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent

"Recently got attacked by a young guy in fab. His complaint was we had read his mails and not answered. We had exchanged messages for a while but we had ceased responding, hoping he would do the same. We then got a pretty nasty mail from him, very racist indeed. We blocked him but very unsettling."

You just ceased messaging? Couldn't you have just sent a last message saying sorry no longer interested, rather than just stopping suddenly?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You just ceased messaging? Couldn't you have just sent a last message saying sorry no longer interested, rather than just stopping suddenly?"

Why should they?

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

You just ceased messaging? Couldn't you have just sent a last message saying sorry no longer interested, rather than just stopping suddenly?"

From a womans point of view

What you suggest, usually guarantees abuse

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By *inkyman1964Man over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent

You just ceased messaging? Couldn't you have just sent a last message saying sorry no longer interested, rather than just stopping suddenly?

Why should they?"

Good manners! It might have avoided the nastiness.

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By *SAchickWoman over a year ago

Hillside desolate

You just ceased messaging? Couldn't you have just sent a last message saying sorry no longer interested, rather than just stopping suddenly?

Why should they?

Good manners! It might have avoided the nastiness."

Or it might have led to more nastiness. Its their choice how they end communication with someone.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You just ceased messaging? Couldn't you have just sent a last message saying sorry no longer interested, rather than just stopping suddenly?

Why should they?

Good manners! It might have avoided the nastiness."

Are you saying that because they didn’t display ‘good manners’ then they only have themselves to blame?

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By *aitonelMan over a year ago

Travelling

You just ceased messaging? Couldn't you have just sent a last message saying sorry no longer interested, rather than just stopping suddenly?

Why should they?

Good manners! It might have avoided the nastiness.

Or it might have led to more nastiness. Its their choice how they end communication with someone. "

I'm not going to argue that it's not their choice, and regardless of how they ended it, it is zero excuse at all for this guy (or anyone) to turn nasty - fuck anyone that takes that approach.

However just because the recipient can potentially turn nasty with a reply, it doesn't mean manners and politeness need to be thrown out the window on your part if communication had been civilized up until that point. It's a pretty shitty excuse, not matter who you are, to hide behind. I aim this at everyone, women, couples, TS/TV, or even men.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You just ceased messaging? Couldn't you have just sent a last message saying sorry no longer interested, rather than just stopping suddenly?

Why should they?

Good manners! It might have avoided the nastiness.

Or it might have led to more nastiness. Its their choice how they end communication with someone.

I'm not going to argue that it's not their choice, and regardless of how they ended it, it is zero excuse at all for this guy (or anyone) to turn nasty - fuck anyone that takes that approach.

Communication stops abruptly as a matter of course on here. It’s just the way of fab. No reply usually means not or no longer interested. It’s custom and practice and backed up by the Fab FAQs.

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By *SAchickWoman over a year ago

Hillside desolate

You just ceased messaging? Couldn't you have just sent a last message saying sorry no longer interested, rather than just stopping suddenly?

Why should they?

Good manners! It might have avoided the nastiness.

Or it might have led to more nastiness. Its their choice how they end communication with someone.

I'm not going to argue that it's not their choice, and regardless of how they ended it, it is zero excuse at all for this guy (or anyone) to turn nasty - fuck anyone that takes that approach.

I don't necessarily disagree with you, if communication is regular and ongoing between the two parties. I didn't say at any point I agreed with their method, simply that it's up to them. Which it is.

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By *aitonelMan over a year ago

Travelling

You just ceased messaging? Couldn't you have just sent a last message saying sorry no longer interested, rather than just stopping suddenly?

Why should they?

Good manners! It might have avoided the nastiness.

Or it might have led to more nastiness. Its their choice how they end communication with someone.

I'm not going to argue that it's not their choice, and regardless of how they ended it, it is zero excuse at all for this guy (or anyone) to turn nasty - fuck anyone that takes that approach.

Communication stops abruptly as a matter of course on here. It’s just the way of fab. No reply usually means not or no longer interested. It’s custom and practice and backed up by the Fab FAQs."

I know how it works.

It's a shitty practice though, it breeds poor manners and allows SOME people to hide behind it as an excuse for being rude. It just keeps the cycle of disrespect turning.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You just ceased messaging? Couldn't you have just sent a last message saying sorry no longer interested, rather than just stopping suddenly?"

Ok maybe they could have but that doesn't give the scumbag a reason to verbally abuse them

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

report the message to admin who will deal with it.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Here is an explanation from Admin from another thread on how they deal with reports.

******Just a quick note. If people report others and we can verify that they have broken site rules, we always take action (either a first and final warning, partially suspended account, fully suspended, mixture of the above).

Every single report sent via the REPORT link is reviewed. Clearly it's not in our interests to have people on here who are bad for the site. Equally we need to verify what has been reported and be fair to those who have been reported.

Admin

PS. we never provide feedback on what has happened. It's just not practical given that we get 100s of reports a day.

Here is what the page says after a report has been submitted:

Your feedback has been saved.

A website admin will shortly review your feedback and take the necessary action. After reviewing the evidence available to us, we may disable an account, remove a user, disable certain aspects of that user's account or issue a warning.

By leaving feedback you help improve the site for everyone who uses it. Thank you.******

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