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British Sign Language and meeting Deaf swingers
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Hi everyone
Can anyone communicate in BSL (any level)? Even if you can’t use BSL would you be happy to meet a Deaf person?
E is hearing and H is Deaf. We’ve met lots of people on Fab. Some are great at communicating. They face H and speak clearly so he can lip-read, gesture a bit, and E translates the rest. We’ve had a great time together and separately.
But sometimes someone pretends they’re fine with it and then suddenly cuts contact. So we thought we’d start this thread, say hello and find other people who can sign or who would give it their best shot!
Happy to answer any questions you have about sign language or Deaf awareness.
Ethel and Herbert. X |
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"Hello Ethel and Herbert, not an expert but know sign language, one of cousin is mute and deaf so learned A to Z alphabets sign from him. "
That’s great. It only takes about five minutes to learn the alphabet and it helps a lot. |
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"That says more about them than you. I'm teaching myself BSL and my daughter is learning it with me. I'm very hard of hearing and rely on lip reading to 'get' a full conversation x"
It’s great that you’re both learning BSL. Are you doing an online course? |
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"That says more about them than you. I'm teaching myself BSL and my daughter is learning it with me. I'm very hard of hearing and rely on lip reading to 'get' a full conversation x
It’s great that you’re both learning BSL. Are you doing an online course? "
Yes. My consultant wanted me to do a course but at that time I was in denial and wouldn't admit to myself I needed it. I'm being pro active now x |
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"There are people with disabilities.. it shouldn’t preclude them from a sex life
It more likely contact is cut because other don’t know how to deal with the situation "
You’re right.
The thing is, it’s fine to ask questions!
If someone wants to ask “How would I communicate on a social?” or even “How would H know if I was turned on in bed?” it’s fine to ask.
H communicates with hearing people all day, every day. It’s fairly straightforward.
One man was rude and, when we were chatting about lip reading, said “I like talking fast. I’m not going to change that”!!! |
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"That says more about them than you. I'm teaching myself BSL and my daughter is learning it with me. I'm very hard of hearing and rely on lip reading to 'get' a full conversation x
It’s great that you’re both learning BSL. Are you doing an online course?
Yes. My consultant wanted me to do a course but at that time I was in denial and wouldn't admit to myself I needed it. I'm being pro active now x"
That’s really great. |
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"I also think BSL should be taught at school, I'd love to be able to sign, I might look into taking a course. "
It’s a lot of fun and pretty easy to learn. You can find courses on the “Signature” website. |
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"I too am hard of hearing.. I take my hearing aids out for a meet as I feel they may be a “sign of weakness”... or another thing to add to being
“ old”"
This is how I used to be. I'm only just starting to tell people now with the advice of friends that it doesn't make me weak or to be viewed with pity x |
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Not BSL
But used to teach in an SN School, we used Makaton so some similarities
It's been a while, I'm probably very rusty.
Someone having a hearing impairment certainly wouldn't put me off meeting then... And hopefully I wouldn't sign anything silly
 |
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"I too am hard of hearing.. I take my hearing aids out for a meet as I feel they may be a “sign of weakness”... or another thing to add to being
“ old”
This is how I used to be. I'm only just starting to tell people now with the advice of friends that it doesn't make me weak or to be viewed with pity x"
I lost my hearing due to a work environment and then added too by an illness!
So even when younger I had hearing aids |
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"Not BSL
But used to teach in an SN School, we used Makaton so some similarities
It's been a while, I'm probably very rusty.
Someone having a hearing impairment certainly wouldn't put me off meeting then... And hopefully I wouldn't sign anything silly
"
Hey you
(MrsTrellis here under another guise!)
Ha ha. I’ll happily teach you to sign something... but I won’t tell you what it is It’ll be like a lottery! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a friend whos son is def and they use bsl. I really do think it should be taught in schools just the same as all the other subjects. I would not have any problem meeting a def person although i dont know any sign at all. |
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"I have a friend whos son is def and they use bsl. I really do think it should be taught in schools just the same as all the other subjects. I would not have any problem meeting a def person although i dont know any sign at all."
That’s the spirit! It’s really easily to communicate and have a laugh. |
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"Not BSL
But used to teach in an SN School, we used Makaton so some similarities
It's been a while, I'm probably very rusty.
Someone having a hearing impairment certainly wouldn't put me off meeting then... And hopefully I wouldn't sign anything silly
Hey you
(MrsTrellis here under another guise!)
Ha ha. I’ll happily teach you to sign something... but I won’t tell you what it is It’ll be like a lottery! "
Mrs T 
I didn't realise it was you my lovely x
I'm always up for learning new things, I can pay in Malteasers |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"I also think BSL should be taught at school, I'd love to be able to sign, I might look into taking a course.
It’s a lot of fun and pretty easy to learn. You can find courses on the “Signature” website. "
Ooo thanks, I'll get my daughter to learn too. |
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"Not BSL
But used to teach in an SN School, we used Makaton so some similarities
It's been a while, I'm probably very rusty.
Someone having a hearing impairment certainly wouldn't put me off meeting then... And hopefully I wouldn't sign anything silly
Hey you
(MrsTrellis here under another guise!)
Ha ha. I’ll happily teach you to sign something... but I won’t tell you what it is It’ll be like a lottery!
Mrs T
I didn't realise it was you my lovely x
I'm always up for learning new things, I can pay in Malteasers "
Ha ha ha. Two in each cheek - like a pro! X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have a friend whos son is def and they use bsl. I really do think it should be taught in schools just the same as all the other subjects. I would not have any problem meeting a def person although i dont know any sign at all.
That’s the spirit! It’s really easily to communicate and have a laugh. "
our friend even offered to help teach it in the school her boy was at for free as she is at a higher bsl level than the teacher but the school said no. |
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"is sign language universal? as in the same the world over "
Good question!
No. It’s just like spoken languages. It’s different in different countries. Ours is similar to Australia’s but different to America’s.
Deaf people from different countries can communicate to some extent because some signs look like the thing they represent (like “car” or “write” or “blow job”!)
There is International Sign Language and some deaf people learn this as their second signed language. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"There are people with disabilities.. it shouldn’t preclude them from a sex life
It more likely contact is cut because other don’t know how to deal with the situation
You’re right.
The thing is, it’s fine to ask questions!
If someone wants to ask “How would I communicate on a social?” or even “How would H know if I was turned on in bed?” it’s fine to ask.
H communicates with hearing people all day, every day. It’s fairly straightforward.
One man was rude and, when we were chatting about lip reading, said “I like talking fast. I’m not going to change that”!!!"
If he's not going to talk slower I doubt he'd be respectful in other ways. Lucky escape.  |
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"There are people with disabilities.. it shouldn’t preclude them from a sex life
It more likely contact is cut because other don’t know how to deal with the situation
You’re right.
The thing is, it’s fine to ask questions!
If someone wants to ask “How would I communicate on a social?” or even “How would H know if I was turned on in bed?” it’s fine to ask.
H communicates with hearing people all day, every day. It’s fairly straightforward.
One man was rude and, when we were chatting about lip reading, said “I like talking fast. I’m not going to change that”!!!"
He should try a weekend with a family in France or Germany.
Guarantee he would come back talking at half speed!!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"is sign language universal? as in the same the world over "
no its not. There is BSL(British Sign Language) and ASL(American Sign Language) and makaton is different. No doubt there is more.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"is sign language universal? as in the same the world over
Good question!
No. It’s just like spoken languages. It’s different in different countries. Ours is similar to Australia’s but different to America’s.
Deaf people from different countries can communicate to some extent because some signs look like the thing they represent (like “car” or “write” or “blow job”!)
There is International Sign Language and some deaf people learn this as their second signed language. "
Very interesting, also one more question, can deaf people hear tinnitus? |
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By *edsguyMan
over a year ago
south of Bedford |
One of the most fantastic ladies I've met through Fab is deaf
We had no trouble communicating as she can lip read
Why should it stop people from leading a normal life and having g fun
Rob |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m “Herbert” from “Ethel and Herbert”. Nice to chat to you all."
Hello Herbert.
In reply to the OP questions... I'd have a social and ask questions. Same as with any other social, if I felt uncomfortable I wouldn't meet again. Even if the other person/ people didn't mind my weirdness.
I used to know some sign language but not anymore. |
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By *eltonmanMan
over a year ago
Melton Mowbray |
I was born profoundly deaf, can hear through hearing aids and didnt need to learn sign language.
Sometimes wonder if i had, would i have gone to deaf schools and not mainstream schools etc. This was a worry I had when growing up and sometimes wish I had learnt at younger age.
On here, and elsewhere, I find that a lot of people turn away from you when they see the hearing aids and can be very isolating.
Sometime just need a chance to prove/show that deaf people are good at talking (speech) too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hi everyone
Can anyone communicate in BSL (any level)? Even if you can’t use BSL would you be happy to meet a Deaf person?
E is hearing and H is Deaf. We’ve met lots of people on Fab. Some are great at communicating. They face H and speak clearly so he can lip-read, gesture a bit, and E translates the rest. We’ve had a great time together and separately.
But sometimes someone pretends they’re fine with it and then suddenly cuts contact. So we thought we’d start this thread, say hello and find other people who can sign or who would give it their best shot!
Happy to answer any questions you have about sign language or Deaf awareness.
Ethel and Herbert. X"
 |
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"There are people with disabilities.. it shouldn’t preclude them from a sex life
It more likely contact is cut because other don’t know how to deal with the situation
You’re right.
The thing is, it’s fine to ask questions!
If someone wants to ask “How would I communicate on a social?” or even “How would H know if I was turned on in bed?” it’s fine to ask.
H communicates with hearing people all day, every day. It’s fairly straightforward.
One man was rude and, when we were chatting about lip reading, said “I like talking fast. I’m not going to change that”!!!
If he's not going to talk slower I doubt he'd be respectful in other ways. Lucky escape. "
Yes - it’s always something to be grateful for when fuckwits reveal themselves early!!! |
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"My daughter knows some of the basics and was using it at school to show some of her friends. A deaf girl at her school saw this and hugged her. I nearly cried when she told me x"
That’s lovely. I bet the girl was glad someone was making an effort. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hi everyone
Can anyone communicate in BSL (any level)? Even if you can’t use BSL would you be happy to meet a Deaf person?
E is hearing and H is Deaf. We’ve met lots of people on Fab. Some are great at communicating. They face H and speak clearly so he can lip-read, gesture a bit, and E translates the rest. We’ve had a great time together and separately.
But sometimes someone pretends they’re fine with it and then suddenly cuts contact. So we thought we’d start this thread, say hello and find other people who can sign or who would give it their best shot!
Happy to answer any questions you have about sign language or Deaf awareness.
Ethel and Herbert. X"
No experience with anyone deaf, I'm pretty sure it wouldn't put me off, provided all the chemistry was there and we made the effort with each other. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It wouldn't stop me from meeting people as someone said it says More about them than you I've never thought about sign language until recently when I watch the Liverpool deaf choir was and is the best concert I've ever seen don't let it bother you I'm sure you better than them. |
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By *ammy55Man
over a year ago
Bristol |
"I'd love to learn BSL. I can do some makaton signing but that's it!!
Wouldn't put us off meeting. "
If you can do makaton, deaf people would understand you so there won’t be a problem communication between you and deaf people |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My youngest sister is deaf, so I can sign in Nihon Shuwa (Japanese sign language) and I'm learning BSL with her because she wants to work in the UK. I've been told by a deaf English friend that I sign with an accent because I sometimes get confused between the two |
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"My youngest sister is deaf, so I can sign in Nihon Shuwa (Japanese sign language) and I'm learning BSL with her because she wants to work in the UK. I've been told by a deaf English friend that I sign with an accent because I sometimes get confused between the two "
That’s really interesting. Signing varies regionally in the UK (like a spoken accent) so deaf people can guess where you’re from depending on the signs you use. |
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"I'd be rusty and might get some words wrong and say the wrong things but I'd get by if the other person had a soh ! "
Totally agree.
“Herbert” (_ammy55) and I are FWBs. When we first went for a social, my signing was 20 years out of date but he made it really easy (some gesturing, some writing things down and lots of laughing!)
My lovely real-life partner couldn’t sign at all but met Jammy and managed fine. It’s easy if you have a go and you’re willing to laugh at yourself! |
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I (Luke) learned some BSL a long time ago after meeting a deaf lady on a dating web site. I doubt I'd remember any now. It's something I'd really like to be able to do. I certainly wouldn't be put off meeting a deaf person. |
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By *andKBCouple
over a year ago
Plymouth |
"I'd love to learn BSL. I can do some makaton signing but that's it!!
Wouldn't put us off meeting.
If you can do makaton, deaf people would understand you so there won’t be a problem communication between you and deaf people "
My makaton is rusty but I pick it up again quite quickly. 10 years in support work I end up signing when I don't even realise it!!
My friends and I always use the toilet in clubs when we cant hear each other |
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"I'd love to learn BSL. I can do some makaton signing but that's it!!
Wouldn't put us off meeting.
If you can do makaton, deaf people would understand you so there won’t be a problem communication between you and deaf people
My makaton is rusty but I pick it up again quite quickly. 10 years in support work I end up signing when I don't even realise it!!
My friends and I always use the toilet in clubs when we cant hear each other "
It’s great in clubs!!! No matter how loud the music is, you can just keep chatting. |
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"Maybe we should have a social get-together for Deaf people, people who can sign and people who would give it a try! "
Brilliant idea yes! I've been using Somerset Total Communication, a derivative of Makaton, for eons, it kinda works with BSL users as has core signs |
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fascinating read, very interesting thread, I have a question though, it seems there are a number of different versions of signing, and it seems that there are differences in the styles and neither seem fully interchangeable, why is this? Why not just one version for the UK? If I was to learn to sign, which would be the best version to learn? |
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By *ammy55Man
over a year ago
Bristol |
"fascinating read, very interesting thread, I have a question though, it seems there are a number of different versions of signing, and it seems that there are differences in the styles and neither seem fully interchangeable, why is this? Why not just one version for the UK? If I was to learn to sign, which would be the best version to learn?"
there’s 4 different kind of sign language, British Sign language (BSL), Sign Support English (SSE), Makaton and Deafblind. If you wish to learn sign language, go for BSL. Deaf people use BSL as their first language. BSL is a visual language, has it own grammar and structure. People who use English as their first language but become deafness at late age might use SSE, follow English order with sign language. Makaton is suitable for deaf people with learning difficult.
|
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"fascinating read, very interesting thread, I have a question though, it seems there are a number of different versions of signing, and it seems that there are differences in the styles and neither seem fully interchangeable, why is this? Why not just one version for the UK? If I was to learn to sign, which would be the best version to learn?"
There is just one - BSL British Sign Language. Other languages have there own and there are other non spoken languages as well.
I am hard of hearing and wear hearing aids.
We have no problems with meeting a deaf person or someone with any sort of disability.
If we are interested we will find a way communicate as necessary.
Nita |
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By *ammy55Man
over a year ago
Bristol |
"I (Luke) learned some BSL a long time ago after meeting a deaf lady on a dating web site. I doubt I'd remember any now. It's something I'd really like to be able to do. I certainly wouldn't be put off meeting a deaf person."
I go to Redhill regular to see my good friend. Hope we will meet one day x
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"fascinating read, very interesting thread, I have a question though, it seems there are a number of different versions of signing, and it seems that there are differences in the styles and neither seem fully interchangeable, why is this? Why not just one version for the UK? If I was to learn to sign, which would be the best version to learn? there’s 4 different kind of sign language, British Sign language (BSL), Sign Support English (SSE), Makaton and Deafblind. If you wish to learn sign language, go for BSL. Deaf people use BSL as their first language. BSL is a visual language, has it own grammar and structure. People who use English as their first language but become deafness at late age might use SSE, follow English order with sign language. Makaton is suitable for deaf people with learning difficult. "
Thank You, this clears it up, something I would like to do, not something I have ever needed in my life so far but you never know when you might need another skill so well worth looking into |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Good to be upfront and honest. I once met a deaf lady but she didn't tell me until we actually met on the date. I was fine with it but it would have been less awkward to have known in advance. I remember doing a quick Skype with her before and she made out the sound wasn't working on her Skype and just flashed me her tits instead. All well and fine in the end but communication and openness is key, in whatever form that takes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This thread really become interesting and informative. Out of curiosity Jammy how someone can maintain privacy while communicating in sign language in public places? Other people might understand sign language, though not fuzz about others but sometimes, privacy needed. |
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By *ammy55Man
over a year ago
Bristol |
"This thread really become interesting and informative. Out of curiosity Jammy how someone can maintain privacy while communicating in sign language in public places? Other people might understand sign language, though not fuzz about others but sometimes, privacy needed. "
Signing in public isn’t private! If other singers are nearby they will see what you are saying. Sometimes I notice people glancing lots of times and I think they are watching my conversation!
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"This thread really become interesting and informative. Out of curiosity Jammy how someone can maintain privacy while communicating in sign language in public places? Other people might understand sign language, though not fuzz about others but sometimes, privacy needed. "
But it’s useful to chat over a long distance like across a crowded room. |
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I know the alphabet & how to tell someone to f off but that's about it.
Alphabet was learned cos teacher put me & my mate on opposite sides of the classroom in an attempt to stop us talking. Didn't work
Otherwise if I notice someone is deaf I make an effort to make sure they're looking at me when I speak & slow down my talking. |
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"I know the alphabet & how to tell someone to f off but that's about it.
Alphabet was learned cos teacher put me & my mate on opposite sides of the classroom in an attempt to stop us talking. Didn't work
Otherwise if I notice someone is deaf I make an effort to make sure they're looking at me when I speak & slow down my talking. "
That’s perfect! It makes communication so much easier.
I love the reason you learnt to sign! |
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By *ammy55Man
over a year ago
Bristol |
"I know the alphabet & how to tell someone to f off but that's about it.
Alphabet was learned cos teacher put me & my mate on opposite sides of the classroom in an attempt to stop us talking. Didn't work
Otherwise if I notice someone is deaf I make an effort to make sure they're looking at me when I speak & slow down my talking. "
lol, good one |
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"Not BSL
But used to teach in an SN School, we used Makaton so some similarities
It's been a while, I'm probably very rusty.
Someone having a hearing impairment certainly wouldn't put me off meeting then... And hopefully I wouldn't sign anything silly
"
We used Makaton as our son was non verbal until he was four. Because of him, his primary school learns Makaton from reception onwards and sign all their assemblies and lessons. As he's now a mini-me teenager, I sometimes wish he'd stayed non verbal |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi guys, I’m Ray and I’m profoundly deaf and I use BSL and lip reading, i only be on here for few weeks now and I go to clubs to meet new and regular people.
I’ve been teaching few basic signs to people in clubs and some where fantastic it’s really basic and making deaf people welcomed in the clubs.
I meet few deaf people in the club and I know one of them for years (not in swinging clubs) and meet some lovely people who sign too.
I did have one experience last weekend was awful and made fun which was not very nice and I now chose to ignore this person.
I’m a big firm believer that BSL should been taught in school and I continue to campaign to have it at schools |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
Hello Ethel and Herbert. I love those names!
After training I passed my exam and then I didn’t use it unfortunately. I am a bit worse than rusty I would say. I really must do something about that I think.
I hope you enjoy yourselves on here |
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"Deaf world is small, most of them would stay under the radar when meeting other deaf people. Wishing you both like you both a great adventure. BSL and spoken English user here. "
Yes, the Deaf community is small. Most of the Deaf people I’ve met on the swinging scene are very nervous about meeting others, for fear of being outed. |
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"There are people with disabilities.. it shouldn’t preclude them from a sex life
It more likely contact is cut because other don’t know how to deal with the situation "
Certainly agree! I have Cerebral palsy never stopped me!! |
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"I know the alphabet & how to tell someone to f off but that's about it.
Alphabet was learned cos teacher put me & my mate on opposite sides of the classroom in an attempt to stop us talking. Didn't work
Otherwise if I notice someone is deaf I make an effort to make sure they're looking at me when I speak & slow down my talking.
That’s perfect! It makes communication so much easier.
I love the reason you learnt to sign! "
I've also realised as an ADHD person how much myself & others lipread too, don't think we realised we were doing it until we couldn't cos of masks.
We do it because even though I can be looking & trying to pay attention to person I'm speaking too, sometimes the background noise is the loudest/selected by brain, meaning I can't hear a damn thing from the person in front of me & appear rude, distracted, not interested etc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve met a deaf person who could speak, but I couldn’t understand him properly and it made things awkward and no doubt frustrating for him even though he didn’t show it.
I know a few signs like Thank You & love, but I would like to know more. |
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I’m deaf with a lower case d and have been all my life. I don’t know BSL but I lip read.
I’ve never had any negative responses on the scene but a few funny stories such as where I nodded at something I didn’t really hear and nearly found myself in an unwanted MMF eep!
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