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A joke!! Number 3.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Someone pushed me into a puddle of paint the other day.

I was SATIN it!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

What do you call a sheep with no legs

A Cloud

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By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds

Are you called Matt ?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

What do you call a magical dog

A labracadabrador

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"What do you call a magical dog

A labracadabrador "

my wee one is gonna love that one

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

What's the difference between swine flu and bird flu?

You treat swine flu with oinkment and bird flu with tweetment.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"What's the difference between swine flu and bird flu?

You treat swine flu with oinkment and bird flu with tweetment.

"

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"What do you call a magical dog

A labracadabrador "

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Are you called Matt ?"

Yes I am. Y??

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By *ete le MeatMan  over a year ago

Derbyshire/ Notts

What's Brown and sticky?

A stick.

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By *ink Panther 123Man  over a year ago

Colnbrook

What do you get if you cross a sheep and a Kangeroo?

A Woolly Jumper

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Man walks into a bar

Ouch

It was an iron bar

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"What do you call a magical dog

A labracadabrador

my wee one is gonna love that one "

You're welcome

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror?...

..Halloumi

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By *moothman2000Man  over a year ago

Leicestershire


"What do you call a magical dog?

A labracadabrador "

Quality

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By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds


"Are you called Matt ?

Yes I am. Y??"

Because you said someone pushed you in to a puddle of paint and you were satin.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"What do you call a sheep with no legs

A Cloud"

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Are you called Matt ?

Yes I am. Y??

Because you said someone pushed you in to a puddle of paint and you were satin. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror?...

..Halloumi"

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By *luemoon14Man  over a year ago

norwich

7 dwarfs in the bath feeling happy.............so happy got out

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By *zQTWoman  over a year ago

Somewhere


"7 dwarfs in the bath feeling happy.............so happy got out"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I have an interview in Seoul next week, working in a bright felt tip pen factory!

It could just be the highlight of my Korea

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/10/19 23:41:42]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Bill and Ben sat in the bath..

Bill went 'flobalobadobagob'

Ben said "if that stinks in getting out"

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By *hechapMan  over a year ago

Derry

Do you know whats really funny about fab posts?

I put a joke post up yesterday and it has only 7 replies on it and 5 of them are all mines.

Another joke post had away over 100 replies.

Thats funny.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

What’s brown and sticky?

A stick

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Do you know whats really funny about fab posts?

I put a joke post up yesterday and it has only 7 replies on it and 5 of them are all mines.

Another joke post had away over 100 replies.

Thats funny.

"

That's comedy for you, it's all in the............

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

....timing

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Yaaas hotlipsharlot

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Bill and Ben sat in the bath..

Bill went 'flobalobadobagob'

Ben said "if that stinks in getting out"

"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Yaaas hotlipsharlot"

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By *irenGuy70Man  over a year ago

Cirencester

How do you fit an elephant in a Safeway bag? You take the S out of Safe, and the F out of way

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"How do you fit an elephant in a Safeway bag? You take the S out of Safe, and the F out of way "

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By *inn_the_humanMan  over a year ago

Edinburgh

What's a few inches long and hard as fuck?

The times crossword.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I was halfway up a mountain. A guy runs up to me and says “ I don’t like your altitude”

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By *unonly10Man  over a year ago

liverpool

Whats long and hard and carries seamen?

A submarine

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By *oomsMan  over a year ago

London

[Removed by poster at 27/10/19 00:36:05]

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"What's a few inches long and hard as fuck?

The times crossword. "

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Whats long and hard and carries seamen?

A submarine"

ha ha ha ha

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I was halfway up a mountain. A guy runs up to me and says “ I don’t like your altitude”"

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By *artinsureMan  over a year ago

acton

What has millions of holes and still holds water

A sponge

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

What's pink and hard ?

A pig with a flick knife

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

Lickolottopuss

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

What do you call virgin wool in New Zealand?

Any lamb who run faster than the boys!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

What do a Penis and a Rubik’s Cubes have in common?

The longer you play with them, the harder they get.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Bill and Ben sat in the bath..

Bill went 'flobalobadobagob'

Ben said "if that stinks in getting out"

"

Or 'If you loved me, you'd swallow'

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By *hesterXXXMan  over a year ago

in your dreams


"What do a Penis and a Rubik’s Cubes have in common?

The longer you play with them, the harder they get."

Or if you force them they can both break!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back ?

...A stick ...

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By *hy_bangor_bi-girlWoman  over a year ago

Bangor

Sex is like a fart.. If you have to force it its probably shit

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Two New Zealanders chatting, one says to the other "did ye here about the new swedish furniture shop that's coming to town?"

2nd one replies (in your best Kiwi accent) "Does it look like I care"

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By *VineMan  over a year ago

The right place

What’s pink and fluffy?

Pink fluff!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Today at the bank an old lady asked me to check her balance

So I pushed her over.

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By *unkhouser72Man  over a year ago

Gtr Manchester

My wife's says she leaving me because of my addiction to poker....I think she's bluffing

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By *unkhouser72Man  over a year ago

Gtr Manchester


"Today at the bank an old lady asked me to check her balance

So I pushed her over. "

funny and sexy. Hot pics gorgeous

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?

Dam!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Today at the bank an old lady asked me to check her balance

So I pushed her over.

funny and sexy. Hot pics gorgeous "

Thanks

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

What did the traffic light say to the car?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

My dog ate all the scrabble tiles. For days he left little messages around the house.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My dog ate all the scrabble tiles. For days he left little messages around the house. "

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By *om and geriCouple  over a year ago

South leicestershire

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the Atlantic ocean?

BOB

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By *orthantsblueeyesMan  over a year ago

Northampton


"What did the traffic light say to the car? "

... Go on...

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By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds


"What did the traffic light say to the car?

... Go on..."

I can't stand this anticipation much longer

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/10/19 11:39:02]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

A woman posts an ad in the news paper,

Looking for man with these qualifications: – won’t beat me up – won’t run away from me – is great in bed.

She got lots of phone calls replying to her ad but met someone perfect at her door one day. The man she met said, “Hi, I’m Bob. I have no arms so I won’t beat you up and no legs so I won’t run away.” So the lady says, “What makes you think you are great in bed?” .... Guess how Bob convinced her?

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By *r TriomanMan  over a year ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

Have heard about what happened to the person who invented knock-knock jokes?

They were awarded a no-bell prize

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By *orthantsblueeyesMan  over a year ago

Northampton


"What did the traffic light say to the car?

... Go on...

I can't stand this anticipation much longer"

I know right? Bump bump bump

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By *layfullsamMan  over a year ago

Solihull

A young apprentice decorator was rushed to hospital in the summer after his boss told him to put 3 coats on.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"A young apprentice decorator was rushed to hospital in the summer after his boss told him to put 3 coats on."

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"What did the traffic light say to the car?

... Go on...

I can't stand this anticipation much longer

I know right? Bump bump bump "

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Have heard about what happened to the person who invented knock-knock jokes?

They were awarded a no-bell prize"

ha ha ha ha ha

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Someone pushed me into a puddle of paint the other day.

I was SATIN it!! "

. Wow you are so sexy I’d love to play on cam with you .

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"A woman posts an ad in the news paper,

Looking for man with these qualifications: – won’t beat me up – won’t run away from me – is great in bed.

She got lots of phone calls replying to her ad but met someone perfect at her door one day. The man she met said, “Hi, I’m Bob. I have no arms so I won’t beat you up and no legs so I won’t run away.” So the lady says, “What makes you think you are great in bed?” .... Guess how Bob convinced her?"

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By *hostwolfMan  over a year ago

Scarborough

I told my mum I was going to build a car out of spaghetti, she didn’t believe me until I drove pasta xD

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By *hechapMan  over a year ago

Derry


"A woman posts an ad in the news paper,

Looking for man with these qualifications: – won’t beat me up – won’t run away from me – is great in bed.

She got lots of phone calls replying to her ad but met someone perfect at her door one day. The man she met said, “Hi, I’m Bob. I have no arms so I won’t beat you up and no legs so I won’t run away.” So the lady says, “What makes you think you are great in bed?” .... Guess how Bob convinced her?"

He pressed the door bell

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By *layfullsamMan  over a year ago

Solihull


"Are you called Matt ?"

Matt gloss from the 80's boy band ?

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By *uma69Man  over a year ago

stockport

[Removed by poster at 27/10/19 11:53:55]

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By *uma69Man  over a year ago

stockport

The person who invented the knock knock joke should get a no bell prize

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By *uma69Man  over a year ago

stockport


"Are you called Matt ?

Matt gloss from the 80's boy band ?"

Very good but he owes you nothing nothing at all

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

What do you call a Scotsman in the final stages of any World Cup? ...........referee

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By *layfullsamMan  over a year ago

Solihull

Las Vegas and The United Kingdom have a lot in common.

They're the only two places in the world where you can pay for sex with chips.

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By *nabelle21Woman  over a year ago

B38

The Dali Lama went to a pizza shop and said can you make me one with all.

( interviewers question to him..true story)

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By *uma69Man  over a year ago

stockport


"The Dali Lama went to a pizza shop and said can you make me one with all.

( interviewers question to him..true story)"

I saw it to the Dali Lama didnt have a clue lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/10/19 07:31:28]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Did you hear about the constipated movie?it's still not out yet

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By *nabelle21Woman  over a year ago

B38


"The person who invented the knock knock joke should get a no bell prize "

That's funny

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple  over a year ago

Cumbria

magic tractor turned into a field

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By *nabelle21Woman  over a year ago

B38


" magic tractor turned into a field"

that's daft I'm laughing

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By *ostafunMan  over a year ago

near ipswich


"7 dwarfs in the bath feeling happy.............so happy got out"
so they all felt grumpy.

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By *inn_the_humanMan  over a year ago

Edinburgh

What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?

I've never had a lentil on my face

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?

I've never had a lentil on my face "

Hahaha brilliant ()

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"A woman posts an ad in the news paper,

Looking for man with these qualifications: – won’t beat me up – won’t run away from me – is great in bed.

She got lots of phone calls replying to her ad but met someone perfect at her door one day. The man she met said, “Hi, I’m Bob. I have no arms so I won’t beat you up and no legs so I won’t run away.” So the lady says, “What makes you think you are great in bed?” .... Guess how Bob convinced her?

He pressed the door bell"

Jack and bob enter a darts competition.

But bob has no arms or no legs.

So jack says. How the fuck are you going to enter a darts competition? You’ve got no arms or no legs.

Bob says put the darts in my mouth and throw the fucking dart board at me....

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By *orkguy69Man  over a year ago

York

Two nuns in a bath.... the first one says "Wheres the soap" ??? The second one says "Yes, it does rather"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

What do you call a dog with no legs?

Whatever you want. He ain’t gonna come.

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