FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Is it ok?
Is it ok?
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
For a partner in a supposed committed relationship, to constantly be looking at other women?
Constantly remarking on how sexy/ gorgeous they are?
Well, is it? Would you be ok with that ladies? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"For a partner in a supposed committed relationship, to constantly be looking at other women?
Constantly remarking on how sexy/ gorgeous they are?
Well, is it? Would you be ok with that ladies?"
This is kind of a question I've had bubbling under for a while. Swinging doesn't seem consistent with that, totally normal, level of jealousy/unease at a partner's behaviour.
Where does the line get drawn? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
Context is needed. As with everything.
Whats wrong with paying compliments? Is there a desire to actually be with these woman outside of just looking and saying something nice? Is no attention being paid to his partner? Has there been a set rule/understanding between expressed to him. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"For a partner in a supposed committed relationship, to constantly be looking at other women?
Constantly remarking on how sexy/ gorgeous they are?
Well, is it? Would you be ok with that ladies?"
Id find it more weird if they didn't. I guess it would depend on what exactly was being said but id have no issues with him looking |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *iss.RedWoman
over a year ago
somewhere |
No, I wouldn't appreciate if it was all the time and I felt like they had a roving eye. Every so often it's human nature that you spot someone attractive but it's how you point this out that is the important thing. I still remember sitting down for a nice lunch and the person I was with telling me it was a good restaurant choice as all the waitresses were hot. Put me right off my food!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"For a partner in a supposed committed relationship, to constantly be looking at other women?
Constantly remarking on how sexy/ gorgeous they are?
Well, is it? Would you be ok with that ladies?"
It wouldn't bother me, it's only natural to look...
As my line says
Just because you're on a diet, doesn't mean you can't read the menu
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"Context is needed. As with everything.
Whats wrong with paying compliments? Is there a desire to actually be with these woman outside of just looking and saying something nice? Is no attention being paid to his partner? Has there been a set rule/understanding between expressed to him. "
In front of some one your in a committed relationship with no that's disrespectful he wouldn't do it to me don't do it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"No, I wouldn't appreciate if it was all the time and I felt like they had a roving eye. Every so often it's human nature that you spot someone attractive but it's how you point this out that is the important thing. I still remember sitting down for a nice lunch and the person I was with telling me it was a good restaurant choice as all the waitresses were hot. Put me right off my food! "
I agree, that’s terrible 
Which restaurant?  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The roving eye is what fab will produce and create. All those fabulous female profiles displaying what can be had if the cards are played right.
OP if it's outside of fab then I'd say you have a good case to cut off his jewels, if in the fab context then it's a very blurred line. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"For a partner in a supposed committed relationship, to constantly be looking at other women?
Constantly remarking on how sexy/ gorgeous they are?
Well, is it? Would you be ok with that ladies?"
Nope, I would not accept that in a relationship, it means he is not truly committed, and it is disrespectful even in a casual association. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
"Context is needed. As with everything.
Whats wrong with paying compliments? Is there a desire to actually be with these woman outside of just looking and saying something nice? Is no attention being paid to his partner? Has there been a set rule/understanding between expressed to him.
In front of some one your in a committed relationship with no that's disrespectful he wouldn't do it to me don't do it "
Again context is needed. Everything needs context.
Unless everything is being based on a vaccum of a straight up basic situation with zero room for flexibility. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Context is needed. As with everything.
Whats wrong with paying compliments? Is there a desire to actually be with these woman outside of just looking and saying something nice? Is no attention being paid to his partner? Has there been a set rule/understanding between expressed to him. "
Agreed. If it’s on here and he’s trying to find someone for you both to play with then looking at women and paying them compliments is all part of the game.
If it’s part of your everyday life and he’s paying random women compliments or paying them more attention that you etc. then that’s not on. Maybe he’s getting the lines of swinging and real life a bit skewed and you need to have a chat about what’s acceptable.
Lou x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Early in dating it'd bug me, but serious relationships I've been in we've both done it. I like it when we get to the point we're secure enough to discuss other people being hot while knowing we're still each others first choice.
However, I've never been cheated on and I imagine that would change my perspective greatly if it happened. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"For a partner in a supposed committed relationship, to constantly be looking at other women?
Constantly remarking on how sexy/ gorgeous they are?
Well, is it? Would you be ok with that ladies?"
some are just serial flirts i think I've always been guilty of that but never in a dispespectful way  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
"Context is needed. As with everything.
Whats wrong with paying compliments? Is there a desire to actually be with these woman outside of just looking and saying something nice? Is no attention being paid to his partner? Has there been a set rule/understanding between expressed to him.
Agreed. If it’s on here and he’s trying to find someone for you both to play with then looking at women and paying them compliments is all part of the game.
If it’s part of your everyday life and he’s paying random women compliments or paying them more attention that you etc. then that’s not on. Maybe he’s getting the lines of swinging and real life a bit skewed and you need to have a chat about what’s acceptable.
Lou x "
Thank you, yes. Nothing can ever truely be as simple as black and white and applied to every single situation of similar criteria. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"Context is needed. As with everything.
Whats wrong with paying compliments? Is there a desire to actually be with these woman outside of just looking and saying something nice? Is no attention being paid to his partner? Has there been a set rule/understanding between expressed to him.
In front of some one your in a committed relationship with no that's disrespectful he wouldn't do it to me don't do it
Again context is needed. Everything needs context.
Unless everything is being based on a vaccum of a straight up basic situation with zero room for flexibility. "
Yeah context is needed that's why its being discussed on a forum |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
"Context is needed. As with everything.
Whats wrong with paying compliments? Is there a desire to actually be with these woman outside of just looking and saying something nice? Is no attention being paid to his partner? Has there been a set rule/understanding between expressed to him.
In front of some one your in a committed relationship with no that's disrespectful he wouldn't do it to me don't do it
Again context is needed. Everything needs context.
Unless everything is being based on a vaccum of a straight up basic situation with zero room for flexibility.
Yeah context is needed that's why its being discussed on a forum"
But you said it's disrespectful, which depending on the dynamic and context of the entire situation it is.
In a different form of context it is not disrespectful at all.
The OP didn't provide enough context to come to a solid conclusion, therefore the replies will be based on the individuals choice within the vaccum of critera they decide on in their own mind. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Context is needed. As with everything.
Whats wrong with paying compliments? Is there a desire to actually be with these woman outside of just looking and saying something nice? Is no attention being paid to his partner? Has there been a set rule/understanding between expressed to him.
In front of some one your in a committed relationship with no that's disrespectful he wouldn't do it to me don't do it
Again context is needed. Everything needs context.
Unless everything is being based on a vaccum of a straight up basic situation with zero room for flexibility.
Yeah context is needed that's why its being discussed on a forum
But you said it's disrespectful, which depending on the dynamic and context of the entire situation it is.
In a different form of context it is not disrespectful at all.
The OP didn't provide enough context to come to a solid conclusion, therefore the replies will be based on the individuals choice within the vaccum of critera they decide on in their own mind. "
What ' different form of context?' |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"For a partner in a supposed committed relationship, to constantly be looking at other women?
Constantly remarking on how sexy/ gorgeous they are?
Well, is it? Would you be ok with that ladies?"
My wife often looks at other women and comments on how sexy they look too. I don't mind though.
Cal |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"Context is needed. As with everything.
Whats wrong with paying compliments? Is there a desire to actually be with these woman outside of just looking and saying something nice? Is no attention being paid to his partner? Has there been a set rule/understanding between expressed to him.
In front of some one your in a committed relationship with no that's disrespectful he wouldn't do it to me don't do it
Again context is needed. Everything needs context.
Unless everything is being based on a vaccum of a straight up basic situation with zero room for flexibility.
Yeah context is needed that's why its being discussed on a forum
But you said it's disrespectful, which depending on the dynamic and context of the entire situation it is.
In a different form of context it is not disrespectful at all.
The OP didn't provide enough context to come to a solid conclusion, therefore the replies will be based on the individuals choice within the vaccum of critera they decide on in their own mind. "
In a committed relationship its disrespectful. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago
The Land that time forgot (Norfolk) |
"No, I wouldn't appreciate if it was all the time and I felt like they had a roving eye. Every so often it's human nature that you spot someone attractive but it's how you point this out that is the important thing. I still remember sitting down for a nice lunch and the person I was with telling me it was a good restaurant choice as all the waitresses were hot. Put me right off my food! "
How long ago was this?  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
"Context is needed. As with everything.
Whats wrong with paying compliments? Is there a desire to actually be with these woman outside of just looking and saying something nice? Is no attention being paid to his partner? Has there been a set rule/understanding between expressed to him.
In front of some one your in a committed relationship with no that's disrespectful he wouldn't do it to me don't do it
Again context is needed. Everything needs context.
Unless everything is being based on a vaccum of a straight up basic situation with zero room for flexibility.
Yeah context is needed that's why its being discussed on a forum
But you said it's disrespectful, which depending on the dynamic and context of the entire situation it is.
In a different form of context it is not disrespectful at all.
The OP didn't provide enough context to come to a solid conclusion, therefore the replies will be based on the individuals choice within the vaccum of critera they decide on in their own mind.
What ' different form of context?'"
Not limited to but including the first things I said at the top of this quote.
I'm in no way saying it can't be and never is disrespectful. Just that different situations will blur the lines based on what else is going on. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *iss.RedWoman
over a year ago
somewhere |
"No, I wouldn't appreciate if it was all the time and I felt like they had a roving eye. Every so often it's human nature that you spot someone attractive but it's how you point this out that is the important thing. I still remember sitting down for a nice lunch and the person I was with telling me it was a good restaurant choice as all the waitresses were hot. Put me right off my food!
How long ago was this? "
Not that long ago! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"No, I wouldn't appreciate if it was all the time and I felt like they had a roving eye. Every so often it's human nature that you spot someone attractive but it's how you point this out that is the important thing. I still remember sitting down for a nice lunch and the person I was with telling me it was a good restaurant choice as all the waitresses were hot. Put me right off my food!
How long ago was this?
Not that long ago! "
I'm absolutely gobsmacked  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'm ok with Mr N noticing other women and remarking on them. He doesn't do it constantly though, if he did I'd think we had a problem.
He's ok with me remarking on other men too.
We don't own each others eyes and brains |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I’ve only had this once and I did walk out on him and head to a different bar
We’d had a good afternoon/evening until this point, a roaming eye is one thing but after having four women pointed out to you that are the complete opposite of you with accompanying words ‘that’s my type’ enough was enough. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
In our relationship we have a rule, we stay and play together
We always tell each other about who has contacted us and show each other pictures. We have 2 profiles
If they are keeping their swinging secret then it's not fair on the other partner |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"For a partner in a supposed committed relationship, to constantly be looking at other women?
Constantly remarking on how sexy/ gorgeous they are?
Well, is it? Would you be ok with that ladies?"
Turn the table on him and you do the same about other men...probably wouldn't be long before he gets uncomfortable with it... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I’ve only had this once and I did walk out on him and head to a different bar
We’d had a good afternoon/evening until this point, a roaming eye is one thing but after having four women pointed out to you that are the complete opposite of you with accompanying words ‘that’s my type’ enough was enough. "
That's just rude and snacks to me of Incel tactics |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’ve only had this once and I did walk out on him and head to a different bar
We’d had a good afternoon/evening until this point, a roaming eye is one thing but after having four women pointed out to you that are the complete opposite of you with accompanying words ‘that’s my type’ enough was enough. "
yes not good on a first meet all eyes and ears should be on you |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm ok with Mr N noticing other women and remarking on them. He doesn't do it constantly though, if he did I'd think we had a problem.
He's ok with me remarking on other men too.
We don't own each others eyes and brains"
Agree, ( wouldn’t be cricket to look at the opposite sex or pay a compliment to anyone on a swinging site ) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’ve only had this once and I did walk out on him and head to a different bar
We’d had a good afternoon/evening until this point, a roaming eye is one thing but after having four women pointed out to you that are the complete opposite of you with accompanying words ‘that’s my type’ enough was enough. yes not good on a first meet all eyes and ears should be on you "
So is it ok on a second meet?
Third, fifth, twentieth? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I’ve only had this once and I did walk out on him and head to a different bar
We’d had a good afternoon/evening until this point, a roaming eye is one thing but after having four women pointed out to you that are the complete opposite of you with accompanying words ‘that’s my type’ enough was enough. yes not good on a first meet all eyes and ears should be on you "
It wasn’t our first meet |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’ve only had this once and I did walk out on him and head to a different bar
We’d had a good afternoon/evening until this point, a roaming eye is one thing but after having four women pointed out to you that are the complete opposite of you with accompanying words ‘that’s my type’ enough was enough. yes not good on a first meet all eyes and ears should be on you
It wasn’t our first meet "
really ok even worse then, he maybe did it on previous meets to |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I’ve only had this once and I did walk out on him and head to a different bar
We’d had a good afternoon/evening until this point, a roaming eye is one thing but after having four women pointed out to you that are the complete opposite of you with accompanying words ‘that’s my type’ enough was enough. yes not good on a first meet all eyes and ears should be on you
It wasn’t our first meet really ok even worse then, he maybe did it on previous meets to "
If he had we wouldn’t have got to another meet up ..... it might be casual but I’m no one’s ‘any hole is a hole’ |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’ve only had this once and I did walk out on him and head to a different bar
We’d had a good afternoon/evening until this point, a roaming eye is one thing but after having four women pointed out to you that are the complete opposite of you with accompanying words ‘that’s my type’ enough was enough. yes not good on a first meet all eyes and ears should be on you
It wasn’t our first meet really ok even worse then, he maybe did it on previous meets to
If he had we wouldn’t have got to another meet up ..... it might be casual but I’m no one’s ‘any hole is a hole’ "
well he should have been focused on you his loss |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I wouldn't like it. I don't mind him finding other women attractive and a quick glance, that's normal, but it being pointed out to me would hurt me if he did it knowing how it made me feel. I don't see the need for it. It does nothing for me knowing he likes other women.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"All men check out other women, if they say they don't they're lying. Difference is being subtle and discreet about it rather than making it obvious.  "
So, being subtle is ok, as long as its not vocalized? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"For a partner in a supposed committed relationship, to constantly be looking at other women?
Constantly remarking on how sexy/ gorgeous they are?
Well, is it? Would you be ok with that ladies?"
As a counterpoint. In a committed relationship, where should a lady draw a line when hit on by another man. Where should the boundary be? Is it ok to go for drinks with another guy, spend time alone?
Asking for a friend (and myself). |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"For a partner in a supposed committed relationship, to constantly be looking at other women?
Constantly remarking on how sexy/ gorgeous they are?
Well, is it? Would you be ok with that ladies?
As a counterpoint. In a committed relationship, where should a lady draw a line when hit on by another man. Where should the boundary be? Is it ok to go for drinks with another guy, spend time alone?
Asking for a friend (and myself)."
My OP wasnt about people hitting on each other
My question was about verbal comments when out in everyday life. Pub, supermarket etc |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"For a partner in a supposed committed relationship, to constantly be looking at other women?
Constantly remarking on how sexy/ gorgeous they are?
Well, is it? Would you be ok with that ladies?
As a counterpoint. In a committed relationship, where should a lady draw a line when hit on by another man. Where should the boundary be? Is it ok to go for drinks with another guy, spend time alone?
Asking for a friend (and myself)."
As HMQL said it all depends on your relationship and the boundaries you both have. I wouldn't be OK with it, but my partner would be more than happy for me to have drinks and fun with a guy who came on to me.
I think a general rule is that if it's something you have to hide from your partner then you shouldn't be doing it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"All men check out other women, if they say they don't they're lying. Difference is being subtle and discreet about it rather than making it obvious. "
Are you absolutely sure you can speak on behalf of all men? That’s getting on for 4 billion people.
Or is there a chance you’re projecting just your own views onto others? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I believe in relationship anarchy, non monogamy and polyamours lifestyles. I’ll try add to this with points.
I say this because I find some people don’t know the above mentioned, get frightened and could hide things from partners.
Where else if you (IMO) read about these things you need not hid your truths from your partner. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"All men check out other women, if they say they don't they're lying. Difference is being subtle and discreet about it rather than making it obvious.
Are you absolutely sure you can speak on behalf of all men? That’s getting on for 4 billion people.
Or is there a chance you’re projecting just your own views onto others?"
4 billion?
I still have a few to go then |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"All men check out other women, if they say they don't they're lying. Difference is being subtle and discreet about it rather than making it obvious.
Are you absolutely sure you can speak on behalf of all men? That’s getting on for 4 billion people.
Or is there a chance you’re projecting just your own views onto others?
4 billion?
I still have a few to go then"
That bedpost has so many notches even the woodworm are going hungry  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"All men check out other women, if they say they don't they're lying. Difference is being subtle and discreet about it rather than making it obvious.
Are you absolutely sure you can speak on behalf of all men? That’s getting on for 4 billion people.
Or is there a chance you’re projecting just your own views onto others?
4 billion?
I still have a few to go then
That bedpost has so many notches even the woodworm are going hungry "
I know, right
Im gonna have to resort to feeding them a few of my past conquest's heads soon |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It’s really just down to politeness; when you’re with someone you should be really with them.
What you describe is like when people go to the pub and keep messaging someone else on their phone."
Some people have a relationship where it would be ok. But I think they are rare.
If someone kept commenting on other women I'd let him go have them instead. It's rude and disrespectful. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"For a partner in a supposed committed relationship, to constantly be looking at other women?
Constantly remarking on how sexy/ gorgeous they are?
Well, is it? Would you be ok with that ladies?
As a counterpoint. In a committed relationship, where should a lady draw a line when hit on by another man. Where should the boundary be? Is it ok to go for drinks with another guy, spend time alone?
Asking for a friend (and myself).
My OP wasnt about people hitting on each other
My question was about verbal comments when out in everyday life. Pub, supermarket etc"
I'm aware of that. The purpose of my question isn't to derail yours but widen the question.
Yes, for what my opinion is worth, it is totally disrespectful to be openly overtly and excessively commenting on other womens appearances when in a relationship. That is a behavioural boundary which is disrepectful to their partner and relationship.
My point is that in a committed relationship, both parties should be mindful of their interactions with the opposite sex. It is possible for either party in a relationship to be disrespectful and undermine the relationship without overtly stepping outside the relationship. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"For a partner in a supposed committed relationship, to constantly be looking at other women?
Constantly remarking on how sexy/ gorgeous they are?
Well, is it? Would you be ok with that ladies?
As a counterpoint. In a committed relationship, where should a lady draw a line when hit on by another man. Where should the boundary be? Is it ok to go for drinks with another guy, spend time alone?
Asking for a friend (and myself).
My OP wasnt about people hitting on each other
My question was about verbal comments when out in everyday life. Pub, supermarket etc
I'm aware of that. The purpose of my question isn't to derail yours but widen the question.
Yes, for what my opinion is worth, it is totally disrespectful to be openly overtly and excessively commenting on other womens appearances when in a relationship. That is a behavioural boundary which is disrepectful to their partner and relationship.
My point is that in a committed relationship, both parties should be mindful of their interactions with the opposite sex. It is possible for either party in a relationship to be disrespectful and undermine the relationship without overtly stepping outside the relationship. "
But thats my point. I wasn't talking about 'interactions'
I was asking about comments
Comments such as " she's got a lovely arse"
And " I'd love to fuck her" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It never bothered me with my ex, but we were swingers - I certainly hope he never played with anyone that he didn't find attractive.
I think it depends on the dynamics of your relationship, and also you as people.
If somebody I was meeting casually now i'm single did it while we were on a meet, they wouldn't see me for dust - not because I'd be jealous (I don't understand jealousy, such a pointless emotion), but because I'd find it disrespectful. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"For a partner in a supposed committed relationship, to constantly be looking at other women?
Constantly remarking on how sexy/ gorgeous they are?
Well, is it? Would you be ok with that ladies?
As a counterpoint. In a committed relationship, where should a lady draw a line when hit on by another man. Where should the boundary be? Is it ok to go for drinks with another guy, spend time alone?
Asking for a friend (and myself).
My OP wasnt about people hitting on each other
My question was about verbal comments when out in everyday life. Pub, supermarket etc
I'm aware of that. The purpose of my question isn't to derail yours but widen the question.
Yes, for what my opinion is worth, it is totally disrespectful to be openly overtly and excessively commenting on other womens appearances when in a relationship. That is a behavioural boundary which is disrepectful to their partner and relationship.
My point is that in a committed relationship, both parties should be mindful of their interactions with the opposite sex. It is possible for either party in a relationship to be disrespectful and undermine the relationship without overtly stepping outside the relationship.
But thats my point. I wasn't talking about 'interactions'
I was asking about comments
Comments such as " she's got a lovely arse"
And " I'd love to fuck her""
I’ve personally had such comments as ‘love to her’ drilled in that this could be considered creepy... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It never bothered me with my ex, but we were swingers - I certainly hope he never played with anyone that he didn't find attractive.
I think it depends on the dynamics of your relationship, and also you as people.
If somebody I was meeting casually now i'm single did it while we were on a meet, they wouldn't see me for dust - not because I'd be jealous (I don't understand jealousy, such a pointless emotion), but because I'd find it disrespectful. "
jealousy affects so many of us even if we believe it doesn't |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If something makes you feel rubbish and your partner knows and chooses to carry on then that’s not ok. "
Exactly that.
I think with me, now and then yeah no problem, I can appreciate beauty and point it out myself. At a club or whilst browsing together on here then that's fine.
Out and about, or watching telly and it happens regularly then I'd be fucked off no end. Like seriously dude, am I that boring, am I that unflattering? With me it would have a knock on effect to my self esteem, I know that, so that's something I'd not tolerate for my own wellbeing and if another person couldn't understand that.... see ya fresh *waves goodbye*
P |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We are in a swinging relationship, if this happened while we were in a normal situation and he did it constantly I'd be pretty pissed.
In a swinging situation he may comment and say, they were nice, or make a joke about how big their boobs were ( hes a boob man ) but hes never gone over board and made me feel hurt or jealous.
But to be fair I'm usually the one who'll ask him.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"For a partner in a supposed committed relationship, to constantly be looking at other women?
Constantly remarking on how sexy/ gorgeous they are?
Well, is it? Would you be ok with that ladies?"
Not sure under what conditions/circumstances it's happening and your dynamics but with my husband we'd often comment about a person that caught an eye of one of us. Whether it's a man or a woman, live, on tv or online. We find it as open and honest thing to do. We don't humiliate each other either in comparison to the said person. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Not constantly and not if he knows you don't like it. The odd remarks or comments are fine in my opinion. I think it depends how it's done to be honest. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"For a partner in a supposed committed relationship, to constantly be looking at other women?
Constantly remarking on how sexy/ gorgeous they are?
Well, is it? Would you be ok with that ladies?
Not sure under what conditions/circumstances it's happening and your dynamics but with my husband we'd often comment about a person that caught an eye of one of us. Whether it's a man or a woman, live, on tv or online. We find it as open and honest thing to do. We don't humiliate each other either in comparison to the said person."
Exactly this. We do it in a fun, flirty way and like you said we never humiliate each other or make the other feel uncomfortable. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
"For a partner in a supposed committed relationship, to constantly be looking at other women?
Constantly remarking on how sexy/ gorgeous they are?
Well, is it? Would you be ok with that ladies?"
No!!!!
I had a social with a man who kept checking out women at the cashiers desk behind me. He wanted to see me again and I said no. Turned me right off.
It’s incredibly rude. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"For a partner in a supposed committed relationship, to constantly be looking at other women?
Constantly remarking on how sexy/ gorgeous they are?
Well, is it? Would you be ok with that ladies?
No!!!!
I had a social with a man who kept checking out women at the cashiers desk behind me. He wanted to see me again and I said no. Turned me right off.
It’s incredibly rude."
You're absolutely right.
I've always made sure that if I meet someone or out with someone, I treat them like they are the only person in the room.
It's just basic gentlemanly conduct and common courtesy |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I had a woman that used to comment on the odd cute guy I don’t mind no harm in looking . She says to me my day ohh he’s cute . So I had to say out loud so the guy could hear don’t tell me that go over and tell him ha ha ha she got so red lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
"For a partner in a supposed committed relationship, to constantly be looking at other women?
Constantly remarking on how sexy/ gorgeous they are?
Well, is it? Would you be ok with that ladies?
No!!!!
I had a social with a man who kept checking out women at the cashiers desk behind me. He wanted to see me again and I said no. Turned me right off.
It’s incredibly rude.
You're absolutely right.
I've always made sure that if I meet someone or out with someone, I treat them like they are the only person in the room.
It's just basic gentlemanly conduct and common courtesy "
Exactly! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"For a partner in a supposed committed relationship, to constantly be looking at other women?
Constantly remarking on how sexy/ gorgeous they are?
Well, is it? Would you be ok with that ladies?
As a counterpoint. In a committed relationship, where should a lady draw a line when hit on by another man. Where should the boundary be? Is it ok to go for drinks with another guy, spend time alone?
Asking for a friend (and myself).
My OP wasnt about people hitting on each other
My question was about verbal comments when out in everyday life. Pub, supermarket etc
I'm aware of that. The purpose of my question isn't to derail yours but widen the question.
Yes, for what my opinion is worth, it is totally disrespectful to be openly overtly and excessively commenting on other womens appearances when in a relationship. That is a behavioural boundary which is disrepectful to their partner and relationship.
My point is that in a committed relationship, both parties should be mindful of their interactions with the opposite sex. It is possible for either party in a relationship to be disrespectful and undermine the relationship without overtly stepping outside the relationship.
But thats my point. I wasn't talking about 'interactions'
I was asking about comments
Comments such as " she's got a lovely arse"
And " I'd love to fuck her""
How do you feel about comments like that OP? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"For a partner in a supposed committed relationship, to constantly be looking at other women?
Constantly remarking on how sexy/ gorgeous they are?
Well, is it? Would you be ok with that ladies?
As a counterpoint. In a committed relationship, where should a lady draw a line when hit on by another man. Where should the boundary be? Is it ok to go for drinks with another guy, spend time alone?
Asking for a friend (and myself).
My OP wasnt about people hitting on each other
My question was about verbal comments when out in everyday life. Pub, supermarket etc
I'm aware of that. The purpose of my question isn't to derail yours but widen the question.
Yes, for what my opinion is worth, it is totally disrespectful to be openly overtly and excessively commenting on other womens appearances when in a relationship. That is a behavioural boundary which is disrepectful to their partner and relationship.
My point is that in a committed relationship, both parties should be mindful of their interactions with the opposite sex. It is possible for either party in a relationship to be disrespectful and undermine the relationship without overtly stepping outside the relationship.
But thats my point. I wasn't talking about 'interactions'
I was asking about comments
Comments such as " she's got a lovely arse"
And " I'd love to fuck her"
How do you feel about comments like that OP?"
Are you a psychologist in your other life?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"For a partner in a supposed committed relationship, to constantly be looking at other women?
Constantly remarking on how sexy/ gorgeous they are?
Well, is it? Would you be ok with that ladies?
As a counterpoint. In a committed relationship, where should a lady draw a line when hit on by another man. Where should the boundary be? Is it ok to go for drinks with another guy, spend time alone?
Asking for a friend (and myself).
My OP wasnt about people hitting on each other
My question was about verbal comments when out in everyday life. Pub, supermarket etc
I'm aware of that. The purpose of my question isn't to derail yours but widen the question.
Yes, for what my opinion is worth, it is totally disrespectful to be openly overtly and excessively commenting on other womens appearances when in a relationship. That is a behavioural boundary which is disrepectful to their partner and relationship.
My point is that in a committed relationship, both parties should be mindful of their interactions with the opposite sex. It is possible for either party in a relationship to be disrespectful and undermine the relationship without overtly stepping outside the relationship.
But thats my point. I wasn't talking about 'interactions'
I was asking about comments
Comments such as " she's got a lovely arse"
And " I'd love to fuck her"
How do you feel about comments like that OP?
Are you a psychologist in your other life?
"
I'm imagining a Dr Melfi from the Sopranos  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
