FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Omitting the full story..
Omitting the full story..
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By *affron40 OP Woman
over a year ago
manchester |
You know when you have one of those facepalm moments... 
So you’ve been chatting to someone for a while and there’s been multiple references to things in your profile, so you know they’ve read it..
and you clearly state your preferences..
It suddenly clicks that they’re not single and their response is that they knew they wouldn’t get any conversation so they simply omit that bit. It’s not their fault you never asked directly...
So my question is this fabbers... is omitting the truth as bad as a lie?!?!
Straight delete from me, but what are your thoughts?!?
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Been there too many times.... I’d prefer people to be just honest about it, but it seems a hard thing for some to do
The fact they say, you wouldn’t have talked to me if you knew, is them purposely hiding it and just like a lie
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By *affron40 OP Woman
over a year ago
manchester |
"Been there too many times.... I’d prefer people to be just honest about it, but it seems a hard thing for some to do
The fact they say, you wouldn’t have talked to me if you knew, is them purposely hiding it and just like a lie
Totally.. to me that’s just disrespectful. Not my kinda person..
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I prefer to be upfront about it. That’s why it’s in my profile text in the first line. However if they don’t read my profile and are surprised later in that’s their issue. Funnily enough that’s happened frequently in the forum. |
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By *affron40 OP Woman
over a year ago
manchester |
"Feel for you
Straight honesty from the beginning for me ... the truth will out at some point so get it there from the start and let the other person decide for themself"
Exactly.. I will never understand why people can’t just be upfront. It’s not hard.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You know when you have one of those facepalm moments...
So you’ve been chatting to someone for a while and there’s been multiple references to things in your profile, so you know they’ve read it..
and you clearly state your preferences..
It suddenly clicks that they’re not single and their response is that they knew they wouldn’t get any conversation so they simply omit that bit. It’s not their fault you never asked directly...
So my question is this fabbers... is omitting the truth as bad as a lie?!?!
Straight delete from me, but what are your thoughts?!?
"
Definitely as bad. If you are not open and honest it's shady as. They will get found out sooner or later. |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
Always depends on the context. Not everything needs to be disclosed in every situation. Certain things are important details to different people. In some things I agree with the "you didn't ask" response because its generally none consequential.
However in this particular case, universally it is a pretty big deal to just not mention it, regardless of being asked or not. There is an intention there to blatantly hide the truth, its not a lie, but it is still at the very least flirting with deception. |
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"Been there too many times.... I’d prefer people to be just honest about it, but it seems a hard thing for some to do
The fact they say, you wouldn’t have talked to me if you knew, is them purposely hiding it and just like a lie
Totally.. to me that’s just disrespectful. Not my kinda person..
"
For me it’s let me make my own mind up, it doesn’t mean I’ll stop talking to you but the conversation is likely to be more friends.
I’m no saint, I’ve been with attached men in my time, but I made that decision having all the facts. All of them have been open from the beginning |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You know when you have one of those facepalm moments...
So you’ve been chatting to someone for a while and there’s been multiple references to things in your profile, so you know they’ve read it..
and you clearly state your preferences..
It suddenly clicks that they’re not single and their response is that they knew they wouldn’t get any conversation so they simply omit that bit. It’s not their fault you never asked directly...
So my question is this fabbers... is omitting the truth as bad as a lie?!?!
Straight delete from me, but what are your thoughts?!?
"
I despise when that happens.
Instant block with no explanation and maybe preemptively ask in the future, to save yourself the time and effort? x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"That’s always in the first few questions I ask x
Maybe I need a questionnaire!!! 
Haha I’ll lend you mine. Hasn’t failed me yet
Yes please  "
It’s like a game of guess who chatting to me  . Do you have a beard? Do you have hair? |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
I think that a lie by omission is just as bad, I know that many rationalise it as "well you didn't ask directly" but frankly, that's just cowardly and deceitful.
My ex used to do that, I had to be very careful about the wording of questions to get the answer.
Honesty isnt just about answering questions, it's about telling the truth before being asked. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"That’s always in the first few questions I ask x
Maybe I need a questionnaire!!!
Haha I’ll lend you mine. Hasn’t failed me yet
Yes please
It’s like a game of guess who chatting to me . Do you have a beard? Do you have hair? "
Brilliant |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Been there too many times.... I’d prefer people to be just honest about it, but it seems a hard thing for some to do
The fact they say, you wouldn’t have talked to me if you knew, is them purposely hiding it and just like a lie
"
I agree with this. If they deliberately didn't mention something that they knew would be an issue, it's a deliberate lie.
Some people do meet married people so if it wasn't specifically asked about, I'd see no issue in it not being mentioned. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Feel for you
Straight honesty from the beginning for me ... the truth will out at some point so get it there from the start and let the other person decide for themself
Exactly.. I will never understand why people can’t just be upfront. It’s not hard.. "
Because honesty won't get them fucked.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You know when you have one of those facepalm moments...
So you’ve been chatting to someone for a while and there’s been multiple references to things in your profile, so you know they’ve read it..
and you clearly state your preferences..
It suddenly clicks that they’re not single and their response is that they knew they wouldn’t get any conversation so they simply omit that bit. It’s not their fault you never asked directly...
So my question is this fabbers... is omitting the truth as bad as a lie?!?!
Straight delete from me, but what are your thoughts?!?
"
As a politician lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Been there too many times.... I’d prefer people to be just honest about it, but it seems a hard thing for some to do
The fact they say, you wouldn’t have talked to me if you knew, is them purposely hiding it and just like a lie
"
That's deception, misdirection it's not a lie, being selective on the truth, politicians make a career of it. If you asked if they were married and they say no that is a lie |
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When somebody deliberately withholds information, especially over something they know you have an issue over... Effectively lying by omission.
They are intentionally misleading you, saying "you didn't ask" is a cheap cop out, to make them feel they can justify their actions.
As far as I'm concerned, anyone who resorts to this kind of behaviour, for their own gains, obviously shows zero respect & regard for the other person involved, and makes them the lowest of the low |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When somebody deliberately withholds information, especially over something they know you have an issue over... Effectively lying by omission.
They are intentionally misleading you, saying "you didn't ask" is a cheap cop out, to make them feel they can justify their actions.
As far as I'm concerned, anyone who resorts to this kind of behaviour, for their own gains, obviously shows zero respect & regard for the other person involved, and makes them the lowest of the low "
That's a can of worms, pretty much everyone on these sites are withholding information about them selves. Buy that assertion a every one is telling lies. Sorry it may be an uncomfortable truth but it is still truth |
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"Been there too many times.... I’d prefer people to be just honest about it, but it seems a hard thing for some to do
The fact they say, you wouldn’t have talked to me if you knew, is them purposely hiding it and just like a lie
That's deception, misdirection it's not a lie, being selective on the truth, politicians make a career of it. If you asked if they were married and they say no that is a lie"
Hence why I said it’s just like a lie.....
Deception in it’s simplest meaning in the dictionary ‘is defined as an untrue falsehood, or is the act of lying to or tricking someone. An example of deception is when you tell someone you are 30 when really you are 40’ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When somebody deliberately withholds information, especially over something they know you have an issue over... Effectively lying by omission.
They are intentionally misleading you, saying "you didn't ask" is a cheap cop out, to make them feel they can justify their actions.
As far as I'm concerned, anyone who resorts to this kind of behaviour, for their own gains, obviously shows zero respect & regard for the other person involved, and makes them the lowest of the low
That's a can of worms, pretty much everyone on these sites are withholding information about them selves. Buy that assertion a every one is telling lies. Sorry it may be an uncomfortable truth but it is still truth"
 |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
I swear to tell the truth, the (cough) truth and nothing but the truth.
Yes lies of omission are still lies. The purpose is still to obscure the truth.
Or as prefab sprout put it. 'the lies we tell, they only serve to fool ourselves' |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
I think if something is really important to you, the majority of the onus is on you to ask that question directly. No hints/suggestions at it, just straight up ask it. Having no married/attached on your profile might discourage a few people from messaging you but a lot of people don't read profiles. So take control of your fab experience.
(That's not negating that lying is bloody shitty, especially when you've built up a rapport with a person. Also, people might lie when you question them. In my experience I've found most people say yes they are/do something when asked directly) |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
If i want to know something i ask. If they dance around the subject i draw my own conclusions and move on.
Most men have been upfront when asked, which i appreciate, because not everyone has the balls to be honest.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Context is all. We all omit the truth it often makes us look better. It always deceives to an extent but sometimes the intend is good, sometimes not."
This is where taking the moral high ground is is standing in the edge of our own precepis.
All ommissions are lies has just been said. Now omissions rationalised and contextualise to what is acceptable and what isn't and that is purely subjective. To say withholding information is a lie then on that premise makes every one is lier  |
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By *affron40 OP Woman
over a year ago
manchester |
"When somebody deliberately withholds information, especially over something they know you have an issue over... Effectively lying by omission.
They are intentionally misleading you, saying "you didn't ask" is a cheap cop out, to make them feel they can justify their actions.
As far as I'm concerned, anyone who resorts to this kind of behaviour, for their own gains, obviously shows zero respect & regard for the other person involved, and makes them the lowest of the low "
This is my stance too.. seems to be that people will make excuses because of the nature of the site, yet I expect the same level of respect I offer and get in every day life. |
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By *affron40 OP Woman
over a year ago
manchester |
"Been there too many times.... I’d prefer people to be just honest about it, but it seems a hard thing for some to do
The fact they say, you wouldn’t have talked to me if you knew, is them purposely hiding it and just like a lie
Totally.. to me that’s just disrespectful. Not my kinda person..
For me it’s let me make my own mind up, it doesn’t mean I’ll stop talking to you but the conversation is likely to be more friends.
I’m no saint, I’ve been with attached men in my time, but I made that decision having all the facts. All of them have been open from the beginning"
Yes totally. Choice is paramount. I’m friends with attached people but don’t meet them. That’s my choice.. |
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By *affron40 OP Woman
over a year ago
manchester |
"I think that a lie by omission is just as bad, I know that many rationalise it as "well you didn't ask directly" but frankly, that's just cowardly and deceitful.
My ex used to do that, I had to be very careful about the wording of questions to get the answer.
Honesty isnt just about answering questions, it's about telling the truth before being asked. "
Agreed. I don’t think the fact it’s on this site makes a blind bit of difference. It’s basic courtesy.. smacks of mind games when you have to word a question to get a true answer. Ugly.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We are always staggered that people attempt to meet us under a lie! One of our latest social meets was clearly married! In our profile, we clearly state that if the relationship progresses beyond social, we will meet at their place before introducing them to ours.
One chap came up with every excuse in the book not to meet at his - clearly he was married and he wasted both his time and ours! |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
"Surely most people on here are in a relationship? It's a swinger's site after all, not a singles dating app!?"
It originated as a swingers site maybe, it has evolved to include all forms of sexual interests and allowing people to meet based on this.
Blows my mind, you would think swinger would be much more welcoming and less judgemental considering the fuss that gets made about "vanilla" people judging them based on what they like.
"We don't want to be judged! But you can't sit with us unless you are a swinger" ...
Sorry Saff, kind of derailing the thread here. |
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"When somebody deliberately withholds information, especially over something they know you have an issue over... Effectively lying by omission.
They are intentionally misleading you, saying "you didn't ask" is a cheap cop out, to make them feel they can justify their actions.
As far as I'm concerned, anyone who resorts to this kind of behaviour, for their own gains, obviously shows zero respect & regard for the other person involved, and makes them the lowest of the low
That's a can of worms, pretty much everyone on these sites are withholding information about them selves. Buy that assertion a every one is telling lies. Sorry it may be an uncomfortable truth but it is still truth"
I was replying in context to the OP
Of course we withhold information.
I'm not going to tell every Tom Dick & Harry my entire life
But the point here was somebody deliberately witheld the fact they were married, knowing the OP wouldn't meet someone who was |
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I used to admit on my profile that I'm married but had to remove that part when I started chatting on the forums.
I got abusive PM's and decided it was a choice between omitting that on my profile or not taking part in the forums.
I always tell those I'm chatting to privately to avoid the issues mentioned by the op. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You know when you have one of those facepalm moments...
So you’ve been chatting to someone for a while and there’s been multiple references to things in your profile, so you know they’ve read it..
and you clearly state your preferences..
It suddenly clicks that they’re not single and their response is that they knew they wouldn’t get any conversation so they simply omit that bit. It’s not their fault you never asked directly...
So my question is this fabbers... is omitting the truth as bad as a lie?!?!
Straight delete from me, but what are your thoughts?!?
"
what you dont know doesn’t hurt you as long as you never find out  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You know when you have one of those facepalm moments...
So you’ve been chatting to someone for a while and there’s been multiple references to things in your profile, so you know they’ve read it..
and you clearly state your preferences..
It suddenly clicks that they’re not single and their response is that they knew they wouldn’t get any conversation so they simply omit that bit. It’s not their fault you never asked directly...
So my question is this fabbers... is omitting the truth as bad as a lie?!?!
Straight delete from me, but what are your thoughts?!?
"
Absolutely...just as bad...a lie or an ommision it's all done for their benefit not yours... |
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By *affron40 OP Woman
over a year ago
manchester |
"Surely most people on here are in a relationship? It's a swinger's site after all, not a singles dating app!?
It originated as a swingers site maybe, it has evolved to include all forms of sexual interests and allowing people to meet based on this.
Blows my mind, you would think swinger would be much more welcoming and less judgemental considering the fuss that gets made about "vanilla" people judging them based on what they like.
"We don't want to be judged! But you can't sit with us unless you are a swinger" ...
Sorry Saff, kind of derailing the thread here. "
Derail away.. my point here is that people can be whatever they like.. as long as they don’t intentionally mislead another. |
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"Surely most people on here are in a relationship? It's a swinger's site after all, not a singles dating app!?
It originated as a swingers site maybe, it has evolved to include all forms of sexual interests and allowing people to meet based on this.
Blows my mind, you would think swinger would be much more welcoming and less judgemental considering the fuss that gets made about "vanilla" people judging them based on what they like.
"We don't want to be judged! But you can't sit with us unless you are a swinger" ...
Sorry Saff, kind of derailing the thread here. "
If someone comes to a casual sex site, like fab, and expects to meet honest guys looking for a friendship etc, then more fool them. |
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By *affron40 OP Woman
over a year ago
manchester |
"Surely most people on here are in a relationship? It's a swinger's site after all, not a singles dating app!?
It originated as a swingers site maybe, it has evolved to include all forms of sexual interests and allowing people to meet based on this.
Blows my mind, you would think swinger would be much more welcoming and less judgemental considering the fuss that gets made about "vanilla" people judging them based on what they like.
"We don't want to be judged! But you can't sit with us unless you are a swinger" ...
Sorry Saff, kind of derailing the thread here.
If someone comes to a casual sex site, like fab, and expects to meet honest guys looking for a friendship etc, then more fool them."
Why? Does the nature of the site make it acceptable to deceive? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You know when you have one of those facepalm moments...
So you’ve been chatting to someone for a while and there’s been multiple references to things in your profile, so you know they’ve read it..
and you clearly state your preferences..
It suddenly clicks that they’re not single and their response is that they knew they wouldn’t get any conversation so they simply omit that bit. It’s not their fault you never asked directly...
So my question is this fabbers... is omitting the truth as bad as a lie?!?!
Straight delete from me, but what are your thoughts?!?
what you dont know doesn’t hurt you as long as you never find out "
That is such an ugly thing to state.... |
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By *affron40 OP Woman
over a year ago
manchester |
"You know when you have one of those facepalm moments...
So you’ve been chatting to someone for a while and there’s been multiple references to things in your profile, so you know they’ve read it..
and you clearly state your preferences..
It suddenly clicks that they’re not single and their response is that they knew they wouldn’t get any conversation so they simply omit that bit. It’s not their fault you never asked directly...
So my question is this fabbers... is omitting the truth as bad as a lie?!?!
Straight delete from me, but what are your thoughts?!?
what you dont know doesn’t hurt you as long as you never find out "
Eurghh. Not for me. |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"You know when you have one of those facepalm moments...
So you’ve been chatting to someone for a while and there’s been multiple references to things in your profile, so you know they’ve read it..
and you clearly state your preferences..
It suddenly clicks that they’re not single and their response is that they knew they wouldn’t get any conversation so they simply omit that bit. It’s not their fault you never asked directly...
So my question is this fabbers... is omitting the truth as bad as a lie?!?!
Straight delete from me, but what are your thoughts?!?
what you dont know doesn’t hurt you as long as you never find out
That is such an ugly thing to state...."
|
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"Surely most people on here are in a relationship? It's a swinger's site after all, not a singles dating app!?
It originated as a swingers site maybe, it has evolved to include all forms of sexual interests and allowing people to meet based on this.
Blows my mind, you would think swinger would be much more welcoming and less judgemental considering the fuss that gets made about "vanilla" people judging them based on what they like.
"We don't want to be judged! But you can't sit with us unless you are a swinger" ...
Sorry Saff, kind of derailing the thread here.
If someone comes to a casual sex site, like fab, and expects to meet honest guys looking for a friendship etc, then more fool them.
Why? Does the nature of the site make it acceptable to deceive? "
What sort of "single" person is going to be attracted to a casual sex site? Why are you so naive? |
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By *affron40 OP Woman
over a year ago
manchester |
"Surely most people on here are in a relationship? It's a swinger's site after all, not a singles dating app!?
It originated as a swingers site maybe, it has evolved to include all forms of sexual interests and allowing people to meet based on this.
Blows my mind, you would think swinger would be much more welcoming and less judgemental considering the fuss that gets made about "vanilla" people judging them based on what they like.
"We don't want to be judged! But you can't sit with us unless you are a swinger" ...
Sorry Saff, kind of derailing the thread here.
If someone comes to a casual sex site, like fab, and expects to meet honest guys looking for a friendship etc, then more fool them.
Why? Does the nature of the site make it acceptable to deceive?
What sort of "single" person is going to be attracted to a casual sex site? Why are you so naive?"
I’ve met plenty of lovely single people so you’re clearly misguided. |
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"Surely most people on here are in a relationship? It's a swinger's site after all, not a singles dating app!?
It originated as a swingers site maybe, it has evolved to include all forms of sexual interests and allowing people to meet based on this.
Blows my mind, you would think swinger would be much more welcoming and less judgemental considering the fuss that gets made about "vanilla" people judging them based on what they like.
"We don't want to be judged! But you can't sit with us unless you are a swinger" ...
Sorry Saff, kind of derailing the thread here.
If someone comes to a casual sex site, like fab, and expects to meet honest guys looking for a friendship etc, then more fool them.
Why? Does the nature of the site make it acceptable to deceive? "
No but it makes it more likely |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Surely most people on here are in a relationship? It's a swinger's site after all, not a singles dating app!?
It originated as a swingers site maybe, it has evolved to include all forms of sexual interests and allowing people to meet based on this.
Blows my mind, you would think swinger would be much more welcoming and less judgemental considering the fuss that gets made about "vanilla" people judging them based on what they like.
"We don't want to be judged! But you can't sit with us unless you are a swinger" ...
Sorry Saff, kind of derailing the thread here.
If someone comes to a casual sex site, like fab, and expects to meet honest guys looking for a friendship etc, then more fool them.
Why? Does the nature of the site make it acceptable to deceive?
What sort of "single" person is going to be attracted to a casual sex site? Why are you so naive?"
Me! And the single guys I've met.  |
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"Surely most people on here are in a relationship? It's a swinger's site after all, not a singles dating app!?
It originated as a swingers site maybe, it has evolved to include all forms of sexual interests and allowing people to meet based on this.
Blows my mind, you would think swinger would be much more welcoming and less judgemental considering the fuss that gets made about "vanilla" people judging them based on what they like.
"We don't want to be judged! But you can't sit with us unless you are a swinger" ...
Sorry Saff, kind of derailing the thread here.
If someone comes to a casual sex site, like fab, and expects to meet honest guys looking for a friendship etc, then more fool them.
Why? Does the nature of the site make it acceptable to deceive?
What sort of "single" person is going to be attracted to a casual sex site? Why are you so naive?
Me! And the single guys I've met. "
Congratulations! |
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"Surely most people on here are in a relationship? It's a swinger's site after all, not a singles dating app!?
It originated as a swingers site maybe, it has evolved to include all forms of sexual interests and allowing people to meet based on this.
Blows my mind, you would think swinger would be much more welcoming and less judgemental considering the fuss that gets made about "vanilla" people judging them based on what they like.
"We don't want to be judged! But you can't sit with us unless you are a swinger" ...
Sorry Saff, kind of derailing the thread here.
If someone comes to a casual sex site, like fab, and expects to meet honest guys looking for a friendship etc, then more fool them.
Why? Does the nature of the site make it acceptable to deceive?
No but it makes it more likely"
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By *affron40 OP Woman
over a year ago
manchester |
"Surely most people on here are in a relationship? It's a swinger's site after all, not a singles dating app!?
It originated as a swingers site maybe, it has evolved to include all forms of sexual interests and allowing people to meet based on this.
Blows my mind, you would think swinger would be much more welcoming and less judgemental considering the fuss that gets made about "vanilla" people judging them based on what they like.
"We don't want to be judged! But you can't sit with us unless you are a swinger" ...
Sorry Saff, kind of derailing the thread here.
If someone comes to a casual sex site, like fab, and expects to meet honest guys looking for a friendship etc, then more fool them.
Why? Does the nature of the site make it acceptable to deceive?
No but it makes it more likely"
Totally.. but I think it’s a cowardly way to behave when people are open about so much else. Choice is still paramount. |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"People will always lie and deceive and cheat
Totally.. but it shows a lack of respect for others. Not something I want to be part of.. "
Yes it does that's why I agree in honesty not everyone does though. |
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"Surely most people on here are in a relationship? It's a swinger's site after all, not a singles dating app!?
It originated as a swingers site maybe, it has evolved to include all forms of sexual interests and allowing people to meet based on this.
Blows my mind, you would think swinger would be much more welcoming and less judgemental considering the fuss that gets made about "vanilla" people judging them based on what they like.
"We don't want to be judged! But you can't sit with us unless you are a swinger" ...
Sorry Saff, kind of derailing the thread here.
If someone comes to a casual sex site, like fab, and expects to meet honest guys looking for a friendship etc, then more fool them.
Why? Does the nature of the site make it acceptable to deceive?
No but it makes it more likely
Totally.. but I think it’s a cowardly way to behave when people are open about so much else. Choice is still paramount."
I agree, I wish we could all rely on honesty (actually I don't, I don't want to know I look awful in my new dress)but we can't. I'm only open about the things I want to be on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You know when you have one of those facepalm moments...
So you’ve been chatting to someone for a while and there’s been multiple references to things in your profile, so you know they’ve read it..
and you clearly state your preferences..
It suddenly clicks that they’re not single and their response is that they knew they wouldn’t get any conversation so they simply omit that bit. It’s not their fault you never asked directly...
So my question is this fabbers... is omitting the truth as bad as a lie?!?!
Straight delete from me, but what are your thoughts?!?
what you dont know doesn’t hurt you as long as you never find out
That is such an ugly thing to state...."
it serves me well in all things not just people but restaurants and kitchens, in this lifestyle surely its better not to know what others are getting up to, I'd rather not know, veris and status updates cause trouble and people who cheat are since swinging started the basis of this lifestyle, when you go to a club and youre playing and a handsome guy comes along with an erection and you invite him to join in do you ask his marital status i think not, so in that case what you dont know gives you orgasms |
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"Surely most people on here are in a relationship? It's a swinger's site after all, not a singles dating app!?
It originated as a swingers site maybe, it has evolved to include all forms of sexual interests and allowing people to meet based on this.
Blows my mind, you would think swinger would be much more welcoming and less judgemental considering the fuss that gets made about "vanilla" people judging them based on what they like.
"We don't want to be judged! But you can't sit with us unless you are a swinger" ...
Sorry Saff, kind of derailing the thread here.
If someone comes to a casual sex site, like fab, and expects to meet honest guys looking for a friendship etc, then more fool them.
Why? Does the nature of the site make it acceptable to deceive?
What sort of "single" person is going to be attracted to a casual sex site? Why are you so naive?"
Single people can be swingers, why do people think it is only reserved for those in couples.
As to why are ‘single’ people on a casual sex site, it’s simple not everyone is looking for a relationship even though it can develop with like minded individuals sometimes.
This is no different than any of the other ‘dating’ apps, where many attached people also roam, I just choose not to be on them as I’m not looking to date and being on them would be a deception to those planning on meeting me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Surely most people on here are in a relationship? It's a swinger's site after all, not a singles dating app!?
It originated as a swingers site maybe, it has evolved to include all forms of sexual interests and allowing people to meet based on this.
Blows my mind, you would think swinger would be much more welcoming and less judgemental considering the fuss that gets made about "vanilla" people judging them based on what they like.
"We don't want to be judged! But you can't sit with us unless you are a swinger" ...
Sorry Saff, kind of derailing the thread here.
If someone comes to a casual sex site, like fab, and expects to meet honest guys looking for a friendship etc, then more fool them.
Why? Does the nature of the site make it acceptable to deceive?
What sort of "single" person is going to be attracted to a casual sex site? Why are you so naive?
Single people can be swingers, why do people think it is only reserved for those in couples.
As to why are ‘single’ people on a casual sex site, it’s simple not everyone is looking for a relationship even though it can develop with like minded individuals sometimes.
This is no different than any of the other ‘dating’ apps, where many attached people also roam, I just choose not to be on them as I’m not looking to date and being on them would be a deception to those planning on meeting me. "
i agree |
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By *affron40 OP Woman
over a year ago
manchester |
"People will always lie and deceive and cheat
Totally.. but it shows a lack of respect for others. Not something I want to be part of..
Yes it does that's why I agree in honesty not everyone does though."
Sadly not. A huge downfall with online friendship though. It allows people to create an image they want others to see. |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"People will always lie and deceive and cheat
Totally.. but it shows a lack of respect for others. Not something I want to be part of..
Yes it does that's why I agree in honesty not everyone does though.
Sadly not. A huge downfall with online friendship though. It allows people to create an image they want others to see. "
Also time consuming
|
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"People will always lie and deceive and cheat
Totally.. but it shows a lack of respect for others. Not something I want to be part of..
Yes it does that's why I agree in honesty not everyone does though.
Sadly not. A huge downfall with online friendship though. It allows people to create an image they want others to see. "
I agree but I also think the flip side of that is that you can control how much of yourself you reveal. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You know when you have one of those facepalm moments...
So you’ve been chatting to someone for a while and there’s been multiple references to things in your profile, so you know they’ve read it..
and you clearly state your preferences..
It suddenly clicks that they’re not single and their response is that they knew they wouldn’t get any conversation so they simply omit that bit. It’s not their fault you never asked directly...
So my question is this fabbers... is omitting the truth as bad as a lie?!?!
Straight delete from me, but what are your thoughts?!?
what you dont know doesn’t hurt you as long as you never find out
That is such an ugly thing to state....it serves me well in all things not just people but restaurants and kitchens, in this lifestyle surely its better not to know what others are getting up to, I'd rather not know, veris and status updates cause trouble and people who cheat are since swinging started the basis of this lifestyle, when you go to a club and youre playing and a handsome guy comes along with an erection and you invite him to join in do you ask his marital status i think not, so in that case what you dont know gives you orgasms "
Wrong...huge erection or not... i absolutely do ask if they are married
and if they are decent enough to admit it we don't play..i always look for a wedding ring or the indent of a removed ring...i do not want to be in the middle of anyone's deceit...we do state this on our profile... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Surely most people on here are in a relationship? It's a swinger's site after all, not a singles dating app!?"
Swingers fuck people. What kind of couple would be on here but not meeting for 3 years? It's not a wank app. |
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"Surely most people on here are in a relationship? It's a swinger's site after all, not a singles dating app!?
Swingers fuck people. What kind of couple would be on here but not meeting for 3 years? It's not a wank app. "
What's that got to do with anything? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You know when you have one of those facepalm moments...
So you’ve been chatting to someone for a while and there’s been multiple references to things in your profile, so you know they’ve read it..
and you clearly state your preferences..
It suddenly clicks that they’re not single and their response is that they knew they wouldn’t get any conversation so they simply omit that bit. It’s not their fault you never asked directly...
So my question is this fabbers... is omitting the truth as bad as a lie?!?!
Straight delete from me, but what are your thoughts?!?
what you dont know doesn’t hurt you as long as you never find out
That is such an ugly thing to state....it serves me well in all things not just people but restaurants and kitchens, in this lifestyle surely its better not to know what others are getting up to, I'd rather not know, veris and status updates cause trouble and people who cheat are since swinging started the basis of this lifestyle, when you go to a club and youre playing and a handsome guy comes along with an erection and you invite him to join in do you ask his marital status i think not, so in that case what you dont know gives you orgasms
Wrong...huge erection or not... i absolutely do ask if they are married
and if they are decent enough to admit it we don't play..i always look for a wedding ring or the indent of a removed ring...i do not want to be in the middle of anyone's deceit...we do state this on our profile..."
wrong in your case but not everyones clubs cater for every scenario and when most people are in the moment conversation isnt prominent |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Surely most people on here are in a relationship? It's a swinger's site after all, not a singles dating app!?
Swingers fuck people. What kind of couple would be on here but not meeting for 3 years? It's not a wank app.
What's that got to do with anything?"
What does your comment have to do with anything? |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
I do think that a lot of people feel justified in lying online as the perception is that 'everyone does it'.
The question though is where is the line between being private and deceit?
Many won't give out their location or personal details for safety and quite rightly so, same as birthdays but where's the line between shaving a couple of years off? 'everyone does it', right?
Quite often people create online persons, sometimes based around a want for privacy, sometimes it's because the real them won't get to meet people. No doubt the latter feel justified in their persona...
|
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There is a growing line of thought that if someone lies to get sex, then the sex was not consented to and you should be able to get them charged.
I agree with this line of thought.
If you agree to have sex with Paul the 24 year old vegan who works in a health shop, you did not agree to sleep with Paul the 29 year old butcher.
In the UK they have made it clear, telling lies to get sex is not a crime, but I think it should become one. |
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"Surely most people on here are in a relationship? It's a swinger's site after all, not a singles dating app!?
It originated as a swingers site maybe, it has evolved to include all forms of sexual interests and allowing people to meet based on this.
Blows my mind, you would think swinger would be much more welcoming and less judgemental considering the fuss that gets made about "vanilla" people judging them based on what they like.
"We don't want to be judged! But you can't sit with us unless you are a swinger" ...
Sorry Saff, kind of derailing the thread here.
If someone comes to a casual sex site, like fab, and expects to meet honest guys looking for a friendship etc, then more fool them.
Why? Does the nature of the site make it acceptable to deceive?
What sort of "single" person is going to be attracted to a casual sex site? Why are you so naive?"
I am single and on Fab. What are you saying about me and my right to be here? |
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"This is no different than any of the other ‘dating’ apps, where many attached people also roam, I just choose not to be on them as I’m not looking to date and being on them would be a deception to those planning on meeting me. "
I got stung by this on a conventional dating site. I thought my non monogamous status was clear, but it wasn’t, which ended up causing a load of hurt after a few weeks of messages and a couple of really lovely dates. Not an issue with Fab, (I hope!). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"There is a growing line of thought that if someone lies to get sex, then the sex was not consented to and you should be able to get them charged.
I agree with this line of thought.
If you agree to have sex with Paul the 24 year old vegan who works in a health shop, you did not agree to sleep with Paul the 29 year old butcher.
In the UK they have made it clear, telling lies to get sex is not a crime, but I think it should become one."
How would they police it?
Sex contracts maybe. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"There is a growing line of thought that if someone lies to get sex, then the sex was not consented to and you should be able to get them charged.
I agree with this line of thought.
If you agree to have sex with Paul the 24 year old vegan who works in a health shop, you did not agree to sleep with Paul the 29 year old butcher.
In the UK they have made it clear, telling lies to get sex is not a crime, but I think it should become one.
How would they police it?
Sex contracts maybe."
At least consent would be covered |
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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago
The Land that time forgot (Norfolk) |
I just accept that doing this kind of thing people will lie to me about what ever it might be to get what they want and if they really don't want me to know I probably won't find out, so I don't let it bother me and crack on anyway. |
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It winds me up when people still make contact knowing that you wouldn't want to meet them .
I do always ask v early on and if i'm in any doubt I'd end the chat.
Its a shame people are so deceptive on here,but sadly that's the nature of the internet.
You did right cutting contact,someone who deceives you in that way isn't someone you would ever want to meet in real life.
Miss |
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It runs deeper than omission. They saunter around the forum spouting their hypocrisy. Leading anyone reading to believe they’re any number of things, single, not cheating, don’t meet married folk etc etc. What they seem to forget is the six degrees of separation doesn’t exist on the forum. Eventually everyone knows they’re a hypocrite and omission would be pointless. Being on the forum could help prevent even striking up conversation with them in the first place. Unfortunately outside the forum it’s more difficult to combat omission and they’re more likely to get away with it. |
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"Been there too many times.... I’d prefer people to be just honest about it, but it seems a hard thing for some to do
The fact they say, you wouldn’t have talked to me if you knew, is them purposely hiding it and just like a lie
"
. Totally. You can list it your profile if need be. I wouldn't recommend that though |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
"It runs deeper than omission. They saunter around the forum spouting their hypocrisy. Leading anyone reading to believe they’re any number of things, single, not cheating, don’t meet married folk etc etc. What they seem to forget is the six degrees of separation doesn’t exist on the forum. Eventually everyone knows they’re a hypocrite and omission would be pointless. Being on the forum could help prevent even striking up conversation with them in the first place. Unfortunately outside the forum it’s more difficult to combat omission and they’re more likely to get away with it. "
You have a good point there Pink |
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"It runs deeper than omission. They saunter around the forum spouting their hypocrisy. Leading anyone reading to believe they’re any number of things, single, not cheating, don’t meet married folk etc etc. What they seem to forget is the six degrees of separation doesn’t exist on the forum. Eventually everyone knows they’re a hypocrite and omission would be pointless. Being on the forum could help prevent even striking up conversation with them in the first place. Unfortunately outside the forum it’s more difficult to combat omission and they’re more likely to get away with it. "
Do you mean it's ok for women, but not men? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Feel for you
Straight honesty from the beginning for me ... the truth will out at some point so get it there from the start and let the other person decide for themself"
I agree with the above |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"You know when you have one of those facepalm moments...
So you’ve been chatting to someone for a while and there’s been multiple references to things in your profile, so you know they’ve read it..
and you clearly state your preferences..
It suddenly clicks that they’re not single and their response is that they knew they wouldn’t get any conversation so they simply omit that bit. It’s not their fault you never asked directly...
So my question is this fabbers... is omitting the truth as bad as a lie?!?!
Straight delete from me, but what are your thoughts?!?
"
I get this alot, I point blank tell them that I clearly ask for single men only and I'm not interested in messing about with married/taken men.
Yes, I do think it's bad. |
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"It runs deeper than omission. They saunter around the forum spouting their hypocrisy. Leading anyone reading to believe they’re any number of things, single, not cheating, don’t meet married folk etc etc. What they seem to forget is the six degrees of separation doesn’t exist on the forum. Eventually everyone knows they’re a hypocrite and omission would be pointless. Being on the forum could help prevent even striking up conversation with them in the first place. Unfortunately outside the forum it’s more difficult to combat omission and they’re more likely to get away with it.
Do you mean it's ok for women, but not men?"
Where did I say that? My comments are unisex, I can give you numerous examples of both males and females. As for it being ok for men or women to omit/lie and/or be hypocritical, who am I to judge. I just think it’s pointless |
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By *iss.RedWoman
over a year ago
somewhere |
"I just accept that doing this kind of thing people will lie to me about what ever it might be to get what they want and if they really don't want me to know I probably won't find out, so I don't let it bother me and crack on anyway. "
I should really tell you I'm married with 2 kids  |
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"I just accept that doing this kind of thing people will lie to me about what ever it might be to get what they want and if they really don't want me to know I probably won't find out, so I don't let it bother me and crack on anyway.
I should really tell you I'm married with 2 kids "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You know when you have one of those facepalm moments...
So you’ve been chatting to someone for a while and there’s been multiple references to things in your profile, so you know they’ve read it..
and you clearly state your preferences..
It suddenly clicks that they’re not single and their response is that they knew they wouldn’t get any conversation so they simply omit that bit. It’s not their fault you never asked directly...
So my question is this fabbers... is omitting the truth as bad as a lie?!?!
Straight delete from me, but what are your thoughts?!?
"
Is omitting the truth as bad as a lie?!?! For me is miniscule, not everyone is here to establish relationship, what others are doing consciously they are responsiblile of outcome. I could see you mentioned PREFERENCE multiple times on your profile, is it safe to say, peoples are ommiting truth is their preferences or cheat partners? May be they feel fun/thrill/spark. Morality is art means drawing line someplace... Oscar wilde |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You know when you have one of those facepalm moments...
So you’ve been chatting to someone for a while and there’s been multiple references to things in your profile, so you know they’ve read it..
and you clearly state your preferences..
It suddenly clicks that they’re not single and their response is that they knew they wouldn’t get any conversation so they simply omit that bit. It’s not their fault you never asked directly...
So my question is this fabbers... is omitting the truth as bad as a lie?!?!
Straight delete from me, but what are your thoughts?!?
Is omitting the truth as bad as a lie?!?! For me is miniscule, not everyone is here to establish relationship, what others are doing consciously they are responsiblile of outcome. I could see you mentioned PREFERENCE multiple times on your profile, is it safe to say, peoples are ommiting truth is their preferences or cheat partners? May be they feel fun/thrill/spark. Morality is art means drawing line someplace... Oscar wilde"
i agree lets free our minds of restrictions and abide by adventure and lust |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm straight with everyone from the off . my situation isn't for everyone and eventually itll come out ,have a wedding ring that wont come off so why try to hide it |
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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago
Hull |
"It runs deeper than omission. They saunter around the forum spouting their hypocrisy. Leading anyone reading to believe they’re any number of things, single, not cheating, don’t meet married folk etc etc. What they seem to forget is the six degrees of separation doesn’t exist on the forum. Eventually everyone knows they’re a hypocrite and omission would be pointless. Being on the forum could help prevent even striking up conversation with them in the first place. Unfortunately outside the forum it’s more difficult to combat omission and they’re more likely to get away with it.
Do you mean it's ok for women, but not men?
Where did I say that? My comments are unisex, I can give you numerous examples of both males and females. As for it being ok for men or women to omit/lie and/or be hypocritical, who am I to judge. I just think it’s pointless "
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