FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Which is worse... Swinging or cheating?
Which is worse... Swinging or cheating?
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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I think that society as a whole thinks that while cheating is bad, it's something that happens. Swinging is deviant and something only certain types of people do it - if you look at media depictions of the two, cheating is more often glamourised with hot people consuming an all burning lust but swinging is shady and done by pot bellied men with wrinkly wives. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Someone already answered, you can only think what you think yourself and its impossible to know what the general public think so thinking about that is futile....
Cheating is what I think I think... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think that society as a whole thinks that while cheating is bad, it's something that happens. Swinging is deviant and something only certain types of people do it - if you look at media depictions of the two, cheating is more often glamourised with hot people consuming an all burning lust but swinging is shady and done by pot bellied men with wrinkly wives."
They're both pre meditated. Both involve sex in some form. But only one has consent.
Perfect description of deviant swingers right there though. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Someone already answered, you can only think what you think yourself and its impossible to know what the general public think so thinking about that is futile....
Cheating is what I think I think..."
People do know what others think. They see, hear, read, speak, discuss.
Thinking about anything could be futile.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think we're on a par, but in different ways.. or have been for some time.
Cheaters hurt people and everyone has been stung in one way, or the other.
Swingers, they don't understand and many think we're all..
a) Riddled with diseases.
b) Unethical.
c) Immoral.
d) Sluts.
e) Easy.
f) Broken.
g) Selfish.
Which not all of us are, by any streeetch of the imagination.
I still think it'll change, I'm noticing a rise in the people on the site. A rise in new forum members, a rise in people on online dating sites - comfier with the idea of it. More acceptance and curiosity from men and women who hear about it sites like these, for the first time.
Younger generation seems a bit more open minded and in touch. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Someone already answered, you can only think what you think yourself and its impossible to know what the general public think so thinking about that is futile....
Cheating is what I think I think...
People do know what others think. They see, hear, read, speak, discuss.
Thinking about anything could be futile. "
Ppl can only ever think. I have no idea what you're thinking and certainly no knowledge, even if you tell me. You could be misleading me.... ...I think....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think what I meant (and slightly off topic) was that if everything was knowledge and fact then there would be little point in debate, questioning or conversation - we would all just know. Thought and creativity is often wasted by assumption and pre-judgement imho.....
Live and let live  |
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"I think that society as a whole thinks that while cheating is bad, it's something that happens. Swinging is deviant and something only certain types of people do it - if you look at media depictions of the two, cheating is more often glamourised with hot people consuming an all burning lust but swinging is shady and done by pot bellied men with wrinkly wives."
Sadly there is a lot of truth in this. I've received a lot or judgement from friends for participating in threesomes or group sex with partners and for being poly despite the fact they have cheated on multiple partners and I've never cheated on anyone. |
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I think that a lot of people are cheating and using fab to do it.
This gives the impression that swinging is cheating when obviously it isn't so I guess the question is are the cheaters on fab actually swingers or just after sex ? |
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Swinging is something many can’t understand because it involves consent to be with other people.
I don’t know anyone that thinks cheating is ok. Cheating involves lies and deception, regardless of circumstances. That to me will never be ok. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Cheating is far worse. The deceit and the guilt ensure that. I meet with my partners full approval. I met someone outside of the site and thus outside of what we had agreed on and it nearly ruined our relationship |
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"I think that society as a whole thinks that while cheating is bad, it's something that happens. Swinging is deviant and something only certain types of people do it - if you look at media depictions of the two, cheating is more often glamourised with hot people consuming an all burning lust but swinging is shady and done by pot bellied men with wrinkly wives.
Sadly there is a lot of truth in this. I've received a lot or judgement from friends for participating in threesomes or group sex with partners and for being poly despite the fact they have cheated on multiple partners and I've never cheated on anyone. "
That is rough judgement |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What do you think the General Public think is worse.... Swinging or cheating?
Both hit the headlines.
Are they perceived as equally bad?"
Swinging?
Who cares what the general public think,it's your sex life not theirs.
Do you think strangers should discuss their sex life with you??
Cheating on your partner/spouse is just wrong
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I think the general public accept cheating and think that people in relationships who are happy about their partners having sex with other people are much, much worse.
It's a fact of our society that we much prefer lies to honesty. |
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"What do you think the General Public think is worse.... Swinging or cheating?
Both hit the headlines.
Are they perceived as equally bad?
Swinging?
Who cares what the general public think,it's your sex life not theirs.
Do you think strangers should discuss their sex life with you??
Cheating on your partner/spouse is just wrong
"
Because the "views of the general public" is a way of saying commonly and widely held views and unless you plan on never interacting with any family or friends, you tend to encounter them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Cheatings seen as worse from what I've seen/heard, however swingers are seemingly seen as middle aged/older weirdos in seedy places in weird outfits... which isn't too far from the truth really lol |
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"Cheatings seen as worse from what I've seen/heard, however swingers are seemingly seen as middle aged/older weirdos in seedy places in weird outfits... which isn't too far from the truth really lol"
Look I wore that Mr. Blobby costume to a club one time!! I wish people would let it go  |
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"What do you think the General Public think is worse.... Swinging or cheating?
Both hit the headlines.
Are they perceived as equally bad?"
I think swinging is mostly misunderstood as it's presented as seedy and a bit grubby by the media. Most people wouldn't understand why a couple like us would be swingers - there's a perception that there must be something lacking in our relationship, which couldn't be further from the truth!
Cheating is something which many more people can identify with.
Mrs TMN x |
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"Cheatings seen as worse from what I've seen/heard, however swingers are seemingly seen as middle aged/older weirdos in seedy places in weird outfits... which isn't too far from the truth really lol"
Oi my outfits aren't weird they're just a bit unusual, that's all. Anyway silver lame catsuits are coming back in fashion  |
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"Problem is most vanilla friends dont understand swinging
They dont see how watch person you love been pleasured by someone else as you watching can make your love stronger."
Thus is the way it is for us too.  |
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Public perception... Lots of generalisations, and different generations will see things differently. I think when if swinging is called “poly” it’s ok (yes there are differences but the public don’t generally see those subtleties). I think there is a certain amount of curiosity about swinging. And people who are judgemental about swinging are also judging on cheating, but some who find swinging ok find cheating unacceptable. |
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"Public perception... Lots of generalisations, and different generations will see things differently. I think when if swinging is called “poly” it’s ok (yes there are differences but the public don’t generally see those subtleties). I think there is a certain amount of curiosity about swinging. And people who are judgemental about swinging are also judging on cheating, but some who find swinging ok find cheating unacceptable. "
I disagree. Some people tend to be mildly uncomfortable about the idea of having casual sex with people other than your partner with your partners knowledge. Poly however seems to collapse their entire world view of relationships. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think that society as a whole thinks that while cheating is bad, it's something that happens. Swinging is deviant and something only certain types of people do it - if you look at media depictions of the two, cheating is more often glamourised with hot people consuming an all burning lust but swinging is shady and done by pot bellied men with wrinkly wives.
Sadly there is a lot of truth in this. I've received a lot or judgement from friends for participating in threesomes or group sex with partners and for being poly despite the fact they have cheated on multiple partners and I've never cheated on anyone. "
A lot of swingers have a view on cheating, maybe they were the injured party and have it reflected in their opinion. But had many conversations, society as a whole think that swinging is a deviance, immoral and unchristian. This was reflected in a recent political opinion that brexit would cause an increase in dogging and immoral behaviour. Law doesn't recognise cheating either |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What do you think the General Public think is worse.... Swinging or cheating?
Both hit the headlines.
Are they perceived as equally bad?
Swinging?
Who cares what the general public think,it's your sex life not theirs.
Do you think strangers should discuss their sex life with you??
Cheating on your partner/spouse is just wrong
Because the "views of the general public" is a way of saying commonly and widely held views and unless you plan on never interacting with any family or friends, you tend to encounter them."
Just because others have views that differ from your own,doesn't make them right. |
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"What do you think the General Public think is worse.... Swinging or cheating?
Both hit the headlines.
Are they perceived as equally bad?
Swinging?
Who cares what the general public think,it's your sex life not theirs.
Do you think strangers should discuss their sex life with you??
Cheating on your partner/spouse is just wrong
Because the "views of the general public" is a way of saying commonly and widely held views and unless you plan on never interacting with any family or friends, you tend to encounter them.
Just because others have views that differ from your own,doesn't make them right."
Views don't have to be right or wrong to effect you. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Problem is most vanilla friends dont understand swinging
They dont see how watch person you love been pleasured by someone else as you watching can make your love stronger."
It can make it stronger. It can also destroy it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What do you think the General Public think is worse.... Swinging or cheating?
Both hit the headlines.
Are they perceived as equally bad?
I think swinging is mostly misunderstood as it's presented as seedy and a bit grubby by the media. Most people wouldn't understand why a couple like us would be swingers - there's a perception that there must be something lacking in our relationship, which couldn't be further from the truth!
Cheating is something which many more people can identify with.
Mrs TMN x"
It does seem a common misconception that people swing because their partner is a crap shag. They've never experienced reclaim sex..! 
I agree that cheating is something many can identify with. And shagging around. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Public perception... Lots of generalisations, and different generations will see things differently. I think when if swinging is called “poly” it’s ok (yes there are differences but the public don’t generally see those subtleties). I think there is a certain amount of curiosity about swinging. And people who are judgemental about swinging are also judging on cheating, but some who find swinging ok find cheating unacceptable. "
That's a really good point, never considered that, thank you.
Could be the same people who think both swinging and cheating are bad. |
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Definitely cheating as you have made a commitment to another person in whatever form and you have broken it.
Swinging has so many different levels and general public can be afraid of things they do not understand.
Also I am a poly and none of my friends understand my relationships let alone strangers. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Definitely cheating as you have made a commitment to another person in whatever form and you have broken it.
Swinging has so many different levels and general public can be afraid of things they do not understand.
Also I am a poly and none of my friends understand my relationships let alone strangers."
How much do you tell your friends about it? |
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"Definitely cheating as you have made a commitment to another person in whatever form and you have broken it.
Swinging has so many different levels and general public can be afraid of things they do not understand.
Also I am a poly and none of my friends understand my relationships let alone strangers."
Poly is basically swinging.. |
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"Definitely cheating as you have made a commitment to another person in whatever form and you have broken it.
Swinging has so many different levels and general public can be afraid of things they do not understand.
Also I am a poly and none of my friends understand my relationships let alone strangers.
How much do you tell your friends about it?"
I explained the term and my reasoning behind it to them, they are all monogamous and rejected it. |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"Definitely cheating as you have made a commitment to another person in whatever form and you have broken it.
Swinging has so many different levels and general public can be afraid of things they do not understand.
Also I am a poly and none of my friends understand my relationships let alone strangers.
Poly is basically swinging.. "
Not really. It's more fwb with more attachments.
S
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Liverpool |
"Definitely cheating as you have made a commitment to another person in whatever form and you have broken it.
Swinging has so many different levels and general public can be afraid of things they do not understand.
Also I am a poly and none of my friends understand my relationships let alone strangers.
Poly is basically swinging..
Not really. It's more fwb with more attachments.
S
"
And even that is an understatement of what poly actually is, if I'm not mistaken. |
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By *STWO65Couple
over a year ago
MIDLANDS |
"Cheating. Swinging isn't this at all as its supposed to be done with knowledge and full consent. The two things are poles apart OP. "
We agree totally.
And may we please add something please.
These cheaters who label themselves as swingers on here.
They are not swingers, they are cheats. |
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"Definitely cheating as you have made a commitment to another person in whatever form and you have broken it.
Swinging has so many different levels and general public can be afraid of things they do not understand.
Also I am a poly and none of my friends understand my relationships let alone strangers.
Poly is basically swinging..
Not really. It's more fwb with more attachments.
S
"
And still basically the same thing.. |
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Cheating is far worse you are betraying the person you are supposed to love. Living with lies
Swinging is totally different on so many levels but it is with each other’s knowledge and a joint thing |
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Cheating is awful at every level....swinging is as we all know is honest fun for like minded people ....folk in the vanilla world can never understand this "life" ....but they are always curious to know what goes on lol....x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think we can all agree that cheating is worse. Swinging is not bad at all because it is open and consensual.
However, society, in general, sees swinging as a sexual deviance. As such it is seen as socially worse because cheating is ”something that just happens”. |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"Definitely cheating as you have made a commitment to another person in whatever form and you have broken it.
Swinging has so many different levels and general public can be afraid of things they do not understand.
Also I am a poly and none of my friends understand my relationships let alone strangers.
Poly is basically swinging..
Not really. It's more fwb with more attachments.
S
And even that is an understatement of what poly actually is, if I'm not mistaken. "
Indeed, We are only just entering the world ourselves but wouldn't say we were poly, not even close, Just more there than here so to speak. Our new friend is though.
S |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are a lot of opinions on cheating but how many are actually on here as a result of cheating? Now there is a contentious issue.
The some of the people vehemently opposed to smoking are ex smokers 
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"I think that society as a whole thinks that while cheating is bad, it's something that happens. Swinging is deviant and something only certain types of people do it - if you look at media depictions of the two, cheating is more often glamourised with hot people consuming an all burning lust but swinging is shady and done by pot bellied men with wrinkly wives."
Only have to look at the soaps, plenty of cheating going on there but not much swinging which goes to show it’s perceived as more acceptable to cheat. |
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"Which would you rather tell your children?
Nothing to do with it.
Children shouldn't be told either.
But if so, which involves honesty, and which one doesn't??"
So a couple gets divorced because mummy's run off with the milkman, but you don't tell the children? Incredible. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Cheating is more accepted in society imo. swinging has yet to throw off it's "keys in the pot" image just the same as naturism hasn't really got past "Carry On" snigger snigger status.
S"
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think we can all agree that cheating is worse. Swinging is not bad at all because it is open and consensual.
However, society, in general, sees swinging as a sexual deviance. As such it is seen as socially worse because cheating is ”something that just happens”."
Swinging is premeditated. Cheating is always just an accident.  |
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
"What do you think the General Public think is worse.... Swinging or cheating?
Both hit the headlines.
Are they perceived as equally bad?
What about swingers that cheat?"
That's pitchfork and flaming torches territory |
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"What do you think the General Public think is worse.... Swinging or cheating?
Both hit the headlines.
Are they perceived as equally bad?
What about swingers that cheat?
That's pitchfork and flaming torches territory"
Boooo I prefer a good flounce especially on a Saturday night |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What do you think the General Public think is worse.... Swinging or cheating?
Both hit the headlines.
Are they perceived as equally bad?
What about swingers that cheat?
That's pitchfork and flaming torches territory
Boooo I prefer a good flounce especially on a Saturday night "
A flounce like Elton John? |
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"What do you think the General Public think is worse.... Swinging or cheating?
Both hit the headlines.
Are they perceived as equally bad?
What about swingers that cheat?
That's pitchfork and flaming torches territory
Boooo I prefer a good flounce especially on a Saturday night
A flounce like Elton John?"
As in a clique of c**** |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What do you think the General Public think is worse.... Swinging or cheating?
Both hit the headlines.
Are they perceived as equally bad?"
they are both part of life and we are the people  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think that a lot of people are cheating and using fab to do it "
This is all too true! I'm here as a single woman to explore things. I've lost count of the men I've been messaged by who confess they are either married or have a girlfriend that doesn't know they are in here cheating!
Swinging like bdsm is completely misunderstood by people who have zero idea of what either lifestyle entails. It is all about consent |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think what I meant (and slightly off topic) was that if everything was knowledge and fact then there would be little point in debate, questioning or conversation - we would all just know. Thought and creativity is often wasted by assumption and pre-judgement imho.....
Live and let live "
What nippy said.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Poly is basically swinging.. "
Got to face-palm again!
Polyamoury is NOT like swinging at all!
Polyamourous couples have romantic relationships with their primary partner and often have one or more other partners. They are in separate relationships and rarely if ever get involved sexually with each other. They will all know each other but lead separate relationships
Swinging is about sexual pleasure poly is romantic relationships |
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"I think that society as a whole thinks that while cheating is bad, it's something that happens. Swinging is deviant and something only certain types of people do it - if you look at media depictions of the two, cheating is more often glamourised with hot people consuming an all burning lust but swinging is shady and done by pot bellied men with wrinkly wives."
getting a few wrinkles me so will fit the stereotype |
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By *o_eye_deerMan
over a year ago
The South Near That London |
"I think we can all agree that cheating is worse. Swinging is not bad at all because it is open and consensual.
However, society, in general, sees swinging as a sexual deviance. As such it is seen as socially worse because cheating is ”something that just happens”.
Swinging is premeditated. Cheating is always just an accident. "
Ah, the old “honestly I tripped & landed cock first, and I am just so grateful, this woman I’ve never seen before, selflessly broke my fall with her mouth/pussy/arse” |
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"Definitely cheating as you have made a commitment to another person in whatever form and you have broken it.
Swinging has so many different levels and general public can be afraid of things they do not understand.
Also I am a poly and none of my friends understand my relationships let alone strangers.
Poly is basically swinging..
Not really. It's more fwb with more attachments.
S
And even that is an understatement of what poly actually is, if I'm not mistaken.
Indeed, We are only just entering the world ourselves but wouldn't say we were poly, not even close, Just more there than here so to speak. Our new friend is though.
S"
So you’re gone from sleeping with someone you’re attracted to, to sleeping with someone you’re attracted to..  |
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