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Priorities - connection or sex?
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Met someone on a normal dating site. She’s close to an ideal partner. Intelligent, thoughtful, kind, generous, a lovely person, has a great body (I mean very close to my idea of perfect) and the sex is amazing. I’m pretty sure I’d never find a woman with such an awesome body.
But there isn’t really much of a connection. And while she’s talking about settling down, I’m happy just seeing her at weekends.
I’m really torn about what to do.
Lose the best sex ever in the hope of finding someone who is less of a physical match but who we have a proper telepathically close connection? Or plod on not having a laugh? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No brainer - connection .
It’s all fickle without it. If it’s a relationship there’s no point unless you laugh. The best sex comes from connection too so it’s not the best sex you’ll ever have.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Connection all the way. Sex is meaningless and with out purpose without the connection. Mentally and intellectually. Heightens the senses in my view. A concept lost on most off here. |
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It’s only the best sex you’ve had so far, not that you will ever have.
If you’re after some short term fun she sounds ideal (as long as that’s what she wants and it sounds lime maybe not).
If you want a long term relationship, look elsewhere or see if this can develop |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do the decent thing and end it now. You're only contemplating this because she's physically attractive. If she has feelings for you, she will be more hurt when it eventually does end. |
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You are the problem by that it may be you are you scared of commitment there only one real way of finding out give up the fab a couple of weeks and concentrate on her then see how you feel.
Need to let your self.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do the decent thing and end it now. You're only contemplating this because she's physically attractive. If she has feelings for you, she will be more hurt when it eventually does end. "
Deffo. Its early enough to avoid hurting each other and those around you. Family and friends as it's harder the longer you leave it. Plus im sure shes adult enough to know the situation. Its about communication. Talk to her. Tell her how you feel. Sex isnt the only thing you're going to find cementing a relationship. It's so much more. If something is missing then it's not right for you or her. |
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"Met someone on a normal dating site. She’s close to an ideal partner. Intelligent, thoughtful, kind, generous, a lovely person, has a great body (I mean very close to my idea of perfect) and the sex is amazing. I’m pretty sure I’d never find a woman with such an awesome body.
But there isn’t really much of a connection. And while she’s talking about settling down, I’m happy just seeing her at weekends.
I’m really torn about what to do.
Lose the best sex ever in the hope of finding someone who is less of a physical match but who we have a proper telepathically close connection? Or plod on not having a laugh?"
Talk to her
She might be thinking that you're not her perfect match either but you tick 7 out of 10 boxes and she's happy to work with that. |
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Thanks for the replies. I kind of guessed that the bulk of the advice would be to move on.
Has been a strange experience. She was so conservative in her profile but she loves sex, and when I first undressed her, I couldn’t believe my luck.
I’m going to talk to her I think. See where it goes. |
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"Met someone on a normal dating site. She’s close to an ideal partner. Intelligent, thoughtful, kind, generous, a lovely person, has a great body (I mean very close to my idea of perfect) and the sex is amazing. I’m pretty sure I’d never find a woman with such an awesome body.
But there isn’t really much of a connection. And while she’s talking about settling down, I’m happy just seeing her at weekends.
I’m really torn about what to do.
Lose the best sex ever in the hope of finding someone who is less of a physical match but who we have a proper telepathically close connection? Or plod on not having a laugh?"
I’m in a similar position OP. Been dating a girl from POF for seven months and now on the verge of moving in together. Great sex and a real connection, we get on well. But, a nagging doubt, am I doing the right thing? I guess it’s the usual nerves around such a change. |
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You should be thinking about her. Would she want to be in a long-term relationship with somebody who doesn't really love her and is only with her because she's a good lay? This isn't all about you. |
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
"You should be thinking about her. Would she want to be in a long-term relationship with somebody who doesn't really love her and is only with her because she's a good lay? This isn't all about you. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have had the compleate opposite great connection got on incredibly and a hot body but the sex was crap she just wasn't interested once a fortnight was too much and it was Boring sex as well. I think you need a balance somewhere in the middle. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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great sex comes with a great connection, becoming emotionally involved makes the sex even better, it all sounds very one sided to me, like others have said let her go, you have to be fair! |
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