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Friends with Benefits
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Simply put, can it be achieved without someones feelings getting in the way?
It seems like the best of both worlds but cannot be sustained for a period of time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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yes ... i would not have a regular guy who becomes emotionally involved or clingy as a married woman where we both swing but it may be different for single women who have no attachment |
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By *ribsaMan
over a year ago
A box at end of your bed |
I have had a FwB for over a year now sex is great and the friendship is strong. We Support each other in difficult times and the good ones; go out for a meal or to cinema quite often. It may sound like we are BF & GF but we are both free to do as we wish without any questions about where you been what you been up to.
It work well for us both and we both happy with it.
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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Yes it can work and it can work well. I think we hear about the negative incidents that happen on fab a lot because people are more likely to talk about them but there are lots of people who manage that sort of dynamic succesfully and just quietly get on with it. Openness, honesty and good communication goes some way to helping, as does rationalisation. |
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By *hechapMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"I have had a FwB for over a year now sex is great and the friendship is strong. We Support each other in difficult times and the good ones; go out for a meal or to cinema quite often. It may sound like we are BF & GF but we are both free to do as we wish without any questions about where you been what you been up to.
It work well for us both and we both happy with it.
"
Would you have her phone number?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Yeah that would be the ideal scenario. Unfortunately not the case so far for me on 2 occasions here in London from this site. I had to stop seeing the other person because I knew feelings were getting attached even though we agreed not to.
So London ladies, you know where I am   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have been seeing mine for over 3 years. Was almost every day, until we thought it more practical to live together. We are still only friends with benefits, just ones who know the difference between being in love and not. We discuss everything so as to not get our feelings confused or our wires crossed. Has worked well so far  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm shit at it I catch the feels with regular partners although to different levels. I've had 'feelings' for some previous FWB. But I have fallen in love with one who I classed/class ( who knows  ) as my bf rather than fwb. But it's all got a little messy  so for me I'm not sure I can do fwb /regular with out feelings being involved  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been seeing my FWB for just over 2 years now and neither of us have developed feelings for each other. We are very good friends, and he helped me a lot last year when I broke my knee, but apart from amazing sex, we don't expect any emotional commitment from each other.
It's probably easier if you set the boundaries straight away, and also not being a very emotional person helps, too. |
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I've had one for nearly a year. I don't know if I'd describe it as FWB but it's not a relationship. We have some degree of feelings for each other but see each other quite sporadically. I'm not really bothered by labelling something though as long as everyone is happy. |
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"Meh. I like feelings. Nowt wrong with feelings. It’s how you cope with them that can be an issue for some. "
Yeah, for me feelings are fine, it's how you manage them and boundaries.
I think that some people think friends with benefits just means regular shag. To me the word "friends" is very important. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Yeah, I actually met a really good friend of mine from a similar site a couple of years ago. We were having regular sex and doing things for the first 3 months and then saw other people. Right now we are just really good friends, no fwb |
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By *hechapMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"I've had one for nearly a year. I don't know if I'd describe it as FWB but it's not a relationship. We have some degree of feelings for each other but see each other quite sporadically. I'm not really bothered by labelling something though as long as everyone is happy."
Is it something the same as having a friend on job seekers?
Am i bad?
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"I've had one for nearly a year. I don't know if I'd describe it as FWB but it's not a relationship. We have some degree of feelings for each other but see each other quite sporadically. I'm not really bothered by labelling something though as long as everyone is happy.
Is it something the same as having a friend on job seekers?
Am i bad?
"
What? |
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"Meh. I like feelings. Nowt wrong with feelings. It’s how you cope with them that can be an issue for some.
Yeah, for me feelings are fine, it's how you manage them and boundaries.
I think that some people think friends with benefits just means regular shag. To me the word "friends" is very important. "
Put your finger right on it....!! |
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By *hechapMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"I've had one for nearly a year. I don't know if I'd describe it as FWB but it's not a relationship. We have some degree of feelings for each other but see each other quite sporadically. I'm not really bothered by labelling something though as long as everyone is happy.
Is it something the same as having a friend on job seekers?
Am i bad?
What?"
Job seekers is a benefit for people out of work.
It was meant to be a joke.
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"Simply put, can it be achieved without someones feelings getting in the way?
It seems like the best of both worlds but cannot be sustained for a period of time."
It all depends on finding the right person for your situation, I had a best friend fwb for 13 years and we both knowingly saw other people, he got married halfway through and we were still happy having sex, (with her consent of course) I ended it when i found someone I wanted to settle down with and have children. |
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"I've had one for nearly a year. I don't know if I'd describe it as FWB but it's not a relationship. We have some degree of feelings for each other but see each other quite sporadically. I'm not really bothered by labelling something though as long as everyone is happy.
Is it something the same as having a friend on job seekers?
Am i bad?
What?
Job seekers is a benefit for people out of work.
It was meant to be a joke.
"
Oh |
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It happens and it happened to me over time. It wasn’t nice for the other party as I cocked everything up for everybody.
There shouldn’t be other partners involved who are unaware imo as it’s just massive massive complications along the line.
Some people fall way too hard and way too quick.
You watch it play out on the forums sometimes and it’s not nice to see for all concerned. |
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By *anmyraWoman
over a year ago
Basingstoke |
I have a fwb who I've been seeing for 7 years. Yes, we have feelings for each other, quite strong feelings, but he is living with someone else and seeing another woman too. He knows I'm on here (not interested in the scene though) and is fine as long as I don't have cock lol.
Yes, double standards, but it's how we are. It has the potential for messiness but so far we've survived lol.
I'd love a partner who enjoyed swinging too though... |
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The couple of times I’ve had them in the last five years I’ve had to walk away, as they developed feelings that I couldn’t or wouldn’t allow myself to develop.
I think it’s a hard thing to manage when you see someone so regularly and intimately. Feelings so easily develop, but they need to be kept in check.
I loved both of them as I would any friend, but theirs was more and I was quite clear at the outset, if I got an inkling they were seeing it differently I would walk away.
One I still see as we were friends for 16 years before anything happened, we will always be friends but I’m mindful of how he feels and I don’t cross that friendship line.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm a bit wary about having friends with benefits.
I've had a few ladies that I used to hang out with as friends.
One was cool with a FWB situation. We had a bit of fun a couple of times then carried on being just friends.
Two others lured me into bed. I was quite clear beforehand that I didn't want a girlfriend. But after a while it was quite clear that they wanted a relationship.
I ended it both times.
One was ok with it, the other thought I was a complete bastard even though she did all of the trying to get me into bed thing.
I don't want to be a heartbreaker, so I'm being extra cautious if I find someone.
Friends only, I'm cool with that. With benefits, I'd have to make sure they feel ok with the idea.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Simply put, can it be achieved without someones feelings getting in the way?
It seems like the best of both worlds but cannot be sustained for a period of time."
Yes it can. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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7 & 9 months for me. One found a long term partner and the other got back with her existing partner. In each case we parted on pleasant terms, even stayed in touch for a while as friends do.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm shit at it I catch the feels with regular partners although to different levels. I've had 'feelings' for some previous FWB. But I have fallen in love with one who I classed/class ( who knows ) as my bf rather than fwb. But it's all got a little messy so for me I'm not sure I can do fwb /regular with out feelings being involved "
Why is it messy? Because you have a FWB and a partner? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s easier with married women, as there’s more understanding that it won’t develop beyond friends with benefits. "
 Married people never cheat or leave their partner for someone else. |
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Not sure we'd entertain a single bloke in this way, one offs works for us, would happily have this as an arrangement with another couple, or if there's a part of a couple with full knowledge and dialogue with their other half though. It is in our view, less chance in there being someone getting needy without some form of support or checks in place. |
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