FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Fighting negativity
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"I used to be a very upbeat positive person. Since my early 40's when I developed depression ( long story) now I wouldn't say I'm in control of the depression as I don't think you're ever "in control" of depression rather you learn to live with it and know the signs and signals. But one of the biggest side effects I have is that I have become such a negative person as hard as I try I have just become a miserable git with little drive and determination. I still get up and go to work everyday, gym 4days a week and take pride in how I look and smell. In group situations I'm always the one cracking jokes and being a joker. I think that like lots of people I hide my insecurities behind humour but in reality I'm just a miserable person. I'm surrounded by love and affection have a reasonably well paid job. Anyone got any practical tips on how to turn that frown upside down and regain a little bit of what I used to have? Mr " I feel for you, I suffered depression which looking back . I probably had for years It’s true you never fully recover you just have to recognise the symptoms.. But I think it lead to my cancer, so you have to try and stay positive S much as you can | |||
"Perhaps the best advice I can give is that there’s no one thing that works for everyone or is guaranteed to work. You’ve got to plug your way through lots of stuff until something clicks for you. For me it was finding some friends where I could be the person I want to be, that person who I like. Getting away from the trigger of depression can help too, or at least saying you’re it going to be affected by it. Mostly though, this can take a while so don’t add beating yourself up to the mix." To add one thing on; I know it's the latest buzzterm and particularly trendy but have you looked into mindfulness? Sometimes just stopping and really appreciating/recognising the here and now stops the negativity cloud and allows me to smile more freely. You can incorporate it with yoga or more structured meditation as well. | |||
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"Stop internet. I swear it changes a man. " This It accentuates everything | |||
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"Read books, the mind is a muscle and the more you exercise it the stronger it gets, I know that sounds very matter of fact and problem lies much deeper, the thing with depression is you feel stagnant or feel you live in a world that is on a downward spiral, you can only fix one of those which is the stagnation, of reading is hard then audiobooks, a life coach will ask why you cannot do it, a soldier will just do it, a doctor will give you drugs that in the long run don’t help, be the soldier" I agree with most of that except it is a counsellor who will (often repeatedly) ask you to go over why you feel as you do and what has got you to this point. I coach, I don’t need to know the ‘story’ it’s purely about working forward towards goals. Many coaches have additional skills like NLP, hypn0sis, CBT, solution focused therapy, reiki etc that we can bring to the table. Depressed people often find it hard to motivate themselves to go out and do things. Reading books is good but hard going when you feel down and drained - there are some excellent books that are available as audiobooks on YouTube which can be helpful Stick in some happy music from back in time Remember things that you did with friends in the past Write a list (on your phone or on paper) if things that you want to do Life is for living but what some people find fun and enjoy is not the same for everyone else. Think about things that you enjoyed in the past and would like to do again. I culled all my negative friends 2 years ago, it was hard but it was the best thing for me. A smaller, more positive friendship circle is better for me | |||
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"I used to be a very upbeat positive person. Since my early 40's when I developed depression ( long story) now I wouldn't say I'm in control of the depression as I don't think you're ever "in control" of depression rather you learn to live with it and know the signs and signals. But one of the biggest side effects I have is that I have become such a negative person as hard as I try I have just become a miserable git with little drive and determination. I still get up and go to work everyday, gym 4days a week and take pride in how I look and smell. In group situations I'm always the one cracking jokes and being a joker. I think that like lots of people I hide my insecurities behind humour but in reality I'm just a miserable person. I'm surrounded by love and affection have a reasonably well paid job. Anyone got any practical tips on how to turn that frown upside down and regain a little bit of what I used to have? Mr " I am the support person for two people whom I love dearly who have depression. Both have tried to commit suicide on multiple occasions. If there is one thing I have noticed is if you can find a person/group who listens to you and will not judge and who are calm and understanding you will find you can actually talk about your feelings. You will realise you are not alone in what you are dealing with no matter your thoughts. Your thoughts and feelings are real to you. I really do hope you have/find that person/group xxx | |||
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"Go to gigs. Comedy nights. Clubs. The races. Have as many holidays as you can afford. Look on Groupon for deals. Go out and meet up with friends as often as possible. Book stuff to look forward to. Forget about spending money on things like your house and your car and spend it on yourself. Have a laugh on group chat. Just really enjoy life " Mrs here.....These sorts of things just stress him out further as he worries about the cost! | |||