FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Am I being naive
Am I being naive
Jump to: Newest in thread
|
By *ylvie 888 OP Woman
over a year ago
Cleethorpes |
When a woman puts a status on.. does a man see that as a woman asking for him to try and strike up a conversation leading to a meet and sex from it, or is a status just a status and not an invitation? Am I just being naive? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When a woman puts a status on.. does a man see that as a woman asking for him to try and strike up a conversation leading to a meet and sex from it, or is a status just a status and not an invitation? Am I just being naive? "
Surely it depends what the status says.
P. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Status updates surely are there to help to strike up conversation.
Why put it up if you done want comments?
I have chatted to some really nice people from status updates but you will always get the others that ask for sex whatever you put, just filter or ignore. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
"Is there something particularly wrong with trying to start a conversation?"
Not for me, if I post a status its usually to attract messages about it. If I didn't want messages, I wouldn't post one. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Call me naive but isn’t it a bit one sided to expect people to read a status but not expect anyone to comment? Surely that’s kind of the point of a status update.
Granted not every status update is an invitation for sex but surely it is asking for some kind of interaction. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Call me naive but isn’t it a bit one sided to expect people to read a status but not expect anyone to comment? Surely that’s kind of the point of a status update.
Granted not every status update is an invitation for sex but surely it is asking for some kind of interaction. "
I often post statuses aimed at my friends I go to my local club with rather than everyone in the local area. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Some status are directed at everyone,whilst another status might only be directed to those within her circle of friends,either way,if you feel you must respond,don't necessarily expect a response |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"You will attract men who think you're asking them to pay your fine in return for sex.
You’re kidding right? "
No. This isn't as people are fond of saying, Facebook. There are a lot of people mainly men who are looking for any way to get sex. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ilkenWoman
over a year ago
Manchester |
"When a woman puts a status on.. does a man see that as a woman asking for him to try and strike up a conversation leading to a meet and sex from it, or is a status just a status and not an invitation? Am I just being naive? "
It pops up on local changes they see a live hole and go for it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Call me naive but isn’t it a bit one sided to expect people to read a status but not expect anyone to comment? Surely that’s kind of the point of a status update.
Granted not every status update is an invitation for sex but surely it is asking for some kind of interaction.
I often post statuses aimed at my friends I go to my local club with rather than everyone in the local area."
That makes sense and I suppose it depends what the status says as to what responses you get. Unlike other forms of social media though you can’t just direct status at friends so you cant everyone else to ignore it. Personally I wouldn’t comment on a status that is clearly directed at certain people but I know some will. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ilth500Man
over a year ago
Merseyside |
"When a woman puts a status on.. does a man see that as a woman asking for him to try and strike up a conversation leading to a meet and sex from it, or is a status just a status and not an invitation? Am I just being naive? "
a starting point to strike up a conversation maybe? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When a woman puts a status on.. does a man see that as a woman asking for him to try and strike up a conversation leading to a meet and sex from it, or is a status just a status and not an invitation? Am I just being naive? " depends what status says |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Call me naive but isn’t it a bit one sided to expect people to read a status but not expect anyone to comment? Surely that’s kind of the point of a status update.
Granted not every status update is an invitation for sex but surely it is asking for some kind of interaction.
I often post statuses aimed at my friends I go to my local club with rather than everyone in the local area.
That makes sense and I suppose it depends what the status says as to what responses you get. Unlike other forms of social media though you can’t just direct status at friends so you cant everyone else to ignore it. Personally I wouldn’t comment on a status that is clearly directed at certain people but I know some will."
If I post a bit of a risque status and don't want messages about it I put up filters. My friends can still message me then but strangers can't. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Call me naive but isn’t it a bit one sided to expect people to read a status but not expect anyone to comment? Surely that’s kind of the point of a status update.
Granted not every status update is an invitation for sex but surely it is asking for some kind of interaction.
I often post statuses aimed at my friends I go to my local club with rather than everyone in the local area.
That makes sense and I suppose it depends what the status says as to what responses you get. Unlike other forms of social media though you can’t just direct status at friends so you cant everyone else to ignore it. Personally I wouldn’t comment on a status that is clearly directed at certain people but I know some will.
If I post a bit of a risque status and don't want messages about it I put up filters. My friends can still message me then but strangers can't." their are some strange strangers here nothing stranger than fiction |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
"When a woman puts a status on.. does a man see that as a woman asking for him to try and strike up a conversation leading to a meet and sex from it, or is a status just a status and not an invitation? Am I just being naive? "
I suppose it depends on the content of the status? At times it can provide an angle to strike up conversation from someone who may be interested. Often times a status is just a status and may not give off anything that can be seen as an invitation...much less a sexual one. It all comes down to the people who view it and how they interpret it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"When a woman puts a status on.. does a man see that as a woman asking for him to try and strike up a conversation leading to a meet and sex from it, or is a status just a status and not an invitation? Am I just being naive?
I suppose it depends on the content of the status? At times it can provide an angle to strike up conversation from someone who may be interested. Often times a status is just a status and may not give off anything that can be seen as an invitation...much less a sexual one. It all comes down to the people who view it and how they interpret it."
Woman is brought to my attention = woman wants my cock.
For many it is as simple as that. To the point where they ask why you have a profile if you're not going to fuck them. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is there something particularly wrong with trying to start a conversation?"
This^
Have you nothing more positive to say or contribute OP....? If the experience is so bad then why not change something (like filters) or stop for a while. You can't control what other ppl think or read into your activity and this post will most likely multiply that.... good luck! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hell, I've had statuses about being ill, busy, or not meeting and it's more effective to just not post anything. "
I posted a status about having been for a walk and we got loads of messages about meeting people for dogging and outdoor sex . |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hell, I've had statuses about being ill, busy, or not meeting and it's more effective to just not post anything.
I posted a status about having been for a walk and we got loads of messages about meeting people for dogging and outdoor sex . "
Sounds about right.
I injured myself days after joining and my header for months was "not meeting due to injury". The number of people who either sent me unsolicited abuse for existing, or told me that sex would cure me (so much for surgery and physiotherapy) was astonishing. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hell, I've had statuses about being ill, busy, or not meeting and it's more effective to just not post anything.
I posted a status about having been for a walk and we got loads of messages about meeting people for dogging and outdoor sex .
Sounds about right.
I injured myself days after joining and my header for months was "not meeting due to injury". The number of people who either sent me unsolicited abuse for existing, or told me that sex would cure me (so much for surgery and physiotherapy) was astonishing. "
I think it's wise to adjust expectations to the reality of the site rather than the ideal. We've only put one or two statuses up since |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hell, I've had statuses about being ill, busy, or not meeting and it's more effective to just not post anything.
I posted a status about having been for a walk and we got loads of messages about meeting people for dogging and outdoor sex .
Sounds about right.
I injured myself days after joining and my header for months was "not meeting due to injury". The number of people who either sent me unsolicited abuse for existing, or told me that sex would cure me (so much for surgery and physiotherapy) was astonishing.
I think it's wise to adjust expectations to the reality of the site rather than the ideal. We've only put one or two statuses up since"
Oh for sure. I only post statuses now with the potential reaction in mind. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I post statuses but they’re never invites. They’re usually song lyrics. I get messages saying great tune or perhaps more lyrics to the song, sometimes a conversation comes from it sometimes it doesn’t. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When a woman puts a status on.. does a man see that as a woman asking for him to try and strike up a conversation leading to a meet and sex from it, or is a status just a status and not an invitation? Am I just being naive?
I suppose it depends on the content of the status? At times it can provide an angle to strike up conversation from someone who may be interested. Often times a status is just a status and may not give off anything that can be seen as an invitation...much less a sexual one. It all comes down to the people who view it and how they interpret it.
Woman is brought to my attention = woman wants my cock.
For many it is as simple as that. To the point where they ask why you have a profile if you're not going to fuck them. "
Exactly this!!
My profile is hidden and I still get messages. I'm on here hence I need a fuck. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When a woman puts a status on.. does a man see that as a woman asking for him to try and strike up a conversation leading to a meet and sex from it, or is a status just a status and not an invitation? Am I just being naive?
I suppose it depends on the content of the status? At times it can provide an angle to strike up conversation from someone who may be interested. Often times a status is just a status and may not give off anything that can be seen as an invitation...much less a sexual one. It all comes down to the people who view it and how they interpret it.
Woman is brought to my attention = woman wants my cock.
For many it is as simple as that. To the point where they ask why you have a profile if you're not going to fuck them.
Exactly this!!
My profile is hidden and I still get messages. I'm on here hence I need a fuck. " lol say it how it is |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A status update is a sign that the user is on line and active.
"
Not necessarily. Sometimes I post a status based on what's on my mind then go off line for hours |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The whole point of a status post is... "Cooey...look at me""
What even ones that say as mine did at one point. Having a really bad time so going to be offline for a few days |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
"The whole point of a status post is... "Cooey...look at me"
What even ones that say as mine did at one point. Having a really bad time so going to be offline for a few days "
It's kind of inviting people to ask what's wrong isn't it, even if that wasn't your intention. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When a woman puts a status on.. does a man see that as a woman asking for him to try and strike up a conversation leading to a meet and sex from it, or is a status just a status and not an invitation? Am I just being naive? "
It's different things to different people. Though the ones that see it as a conversation leading to sex starter will be more likely to contact you so it's easy to think that there's more of them than there actually are?
And I use the word people as when I put a status up on my singles profile more women would strike up a conversation which would lead to them being flirtatious and making their intentions clear within a few messages often? Which I didn't mind one bit if I found then thus attractive tbh, if I didn't then I'd be diplomatic and tactful!
B |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
For me it's just about how I am that day, so today getting messages to meet tonight. But as I'm working I can't, however possible for tomorrow, so it can be an invitation to start a conversation admittedly |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The whole point of a status post is... "Cooey...look at me"
What even ones that say as mine did at one point. Having a really bad time so going to be offline for a few days
It's kind of inviting people to ask what's wrong isn't it, even if that wasn't your intention. "
If someone doesn't want attention they'd say nothing and hide. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The whole point of a status post is... "Cooey...look at me"
What even ones that say as mine did at one point. Having a really bad time so going to be offline for a few days
It's kind of inviting people to ask what's wrong isn't it, even if that wasn't your intention. "
It was my intention to let friends know I was going to be offline for a while. Those I'd have wanted to speak to knew what was going on at the time |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Ach I think it's fair enough for people to message in response to a status. It's generally what prompts me to send a first message if I see something that interests me or is funny, or I just wanted a route in to start a chat.
I'm probably more likely to reply when someone's commenting on a status of mine too, as it's feels ruder not to when it was me who posted first. Not all though, and not if it's just FAF regardless of what I said. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ive always thought it would be a good idea to have the option to put up a friends only status.
We’d use it a lot!
"
I would use it a lot too. It would be a lot easier than messaging loads of people to say something |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My status was about a £30 fine for driving in a taxi/bus lane. "
Weeeellll..., god loves a trier...you’ve got to give them kudos for giving it a go with that status surely? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ive always thought it would be a good idea to have the option to put up a friends only status.
We’d use it a lot!
I would use it a lot too. It would be a lot easier than messaging loads of people to say something"
Ooh yes! I love that idea. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"When a woman puts a status on.. does a man see that as a woman asking for him to try and strike up a conversation leading to a meet and sex from it, or is a status just a status and not an invitation? Am I just being naive? "
Any conversation may lead meet. A status may be seen as a current start point for a conversation |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Ive always thought it would be a good idea to have the option to put up a friends only status.
We’d use it a lot!
I would use it a lot too. It would be a lot easier than messaging loads of people to say something
Ooh yes! I love that idea."
I did suggest it a while back when admin we’re doing their survey but no luck unfortunately... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When a woman puts a status on.. does a man see that as a woman asking for him to try and strike up a conversation leading to a meet and sex from it, or is a status just a status and not an invitation? Am I just being naive? " yes |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If I post I’m off out for a drink The I got lots of offers for a free ride home !
Similarly if I say I’m going to coast for walk men say they can find me - not surprised as I never post a face photo and the North East Coast is very long
Status updates are conversation starters or sometimes just a ‘status update’
Men can choose whether to message me about them, just as I then choose whether to reply or not
I don’t overthink what I post, some people seem to! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If I post I’m off out for a drink The I got lots of offers for a free ride home !
Similarly if I say I’m going to coast for walk men say they can find me - not surprised as I never post a face photo and the North East Coast is very long
Status updates are conversation starters or sometimes just a ‘status update’
Men can choose whether to message me about them, just as I then choose whether to reply or not
I don’t overthink what I post, some people seem to! "
Have you tried posting that you need some plumbing or electrical work done? Thus site has more horny tradesmen on it than Checkatrade. I won’t make that mistake again! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think a status is a way many choose to strike up a conversation. It is an easier way than sort of cold calling to message. We don’t mind it and have had fun conversations based on a status but ours are often open to that.
We had one status someone we never talked to decided was about them and so he sent loads of abuse over, paranoid twat . Lol - Mrs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"When a woman puts a status on.. does a man see that as a woman asking for him to try and strike up a conversation leading to a meet and sex from it, or is a status just a status and not an invitation? Am I just being naive? " I think this can be used to try and strike up a conversation... Is that such a bad thing?
It can be difficult trying to start a conversation.
As long as it isn't insulting surely that's ok and aslong as the person mailing you is prepared to take rejection or no answer.
Besides fab isn't real life is it... It's meant to be for fun |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ylvie 888 OP Woman
over a year ago
Cleethorpes |
Well... 48hr time out over. I am naive. I did believe a status was just how I felt or what I thought at that time. Lesson learned. And no... there is nothing wrong with striking up a conversation... it's the abusive ones ... lesson learned. And the friends only status is a fantastic idea.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"When a woman puts a status on.. does a man see that as a woman asking for him to try and strike up a conversation leading to a meet and sex from it, or is a status just a status and not an invitation? Am I just being naive? "
I see it as just a status but I cant vouch for other men. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"Depends on the status, but if i find it amusing or they ask for help then I sometimes send a message.
Your messages are never abusive. X"
I don't understand people that would.
This site should have its own section for those people. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is there something particularly wrong with trying to start a conversation?
Absolutely nothing wrong. It was the abuse i got when I said no thank you. "
Report abusive messages. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
I think it depends on the context of the status. I think that like attracts like, so a witty status would attract my attention. Just as a status stating "gagging for it" would attract a certain type.
Some people will use any status to try and start a conversation though. I remember Poochiepoo putting up a funny one about washing machines and was peppered with guys offering to fix it!
Much as I hate to use the phrase, it's just another way of filtering out those that do match you. And yes, a status is never 'just a status' it's an invitation to be looked at, even if only by a select few. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"My status was about a £30 fine for driving in a taxi/bus lane.
You will attract men who think you're asking them to pay your fine in return for sex. "
To be fair that is usually what they mean. Along with "oh dear I've run out of credit" and the like.
Or am I just cynical? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My status was about a £30 fine for driving in a taxi/bus lane.
Weeeellll..., god loves a trier...you’ve got to give them kudos for giving it a go with that status surely? "
I think you may be confusing kudos with short shrift?
B |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"My status was about a £30 fine for driving in a taxi/bus lane.
Weeeellll..., god loves a trier...you’ve got to give them kudos for giving it a go with that status surely?
I think you may be confusing kudos with short shrift?
B"
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic