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Best status update you've seen
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just seen a update by a young lad who's only just joined and it made me chuckle. Here's what it said...
Looking for women to chat and fuck, send me a wink!
In a way I admire his straight forward approach, but it still made me chuckle to myself in that he has a lot to learn! Anyone else seen some good updates that made you laugh?! Either intentionally or not?!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Honestly?
All of my own. When I’m keen for a laugh I’ll update it to something bloody hilarious, just to see what kind of replied I’d get. Usually food related, I tend to ask for a KFC bargain bucket and in return I’ll let them join in with my gangbang.
Although I did once ask for advice on how to get a champagne cork out my fanny, after it accidentally popped up there. Lots of lovely advice, I felt bad explaining it wasn’t real |
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Apart from the usual guys moaning that no one ever meets status' the funniest I've seen is "has anyone seen my dog. Goes by the name of Alan. If we've met you'll know him".
Gave me so many questions on what role Alan played in the bedroom.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Saw one from a bloke saying he would do anything for 10 ciggies delivering...
Another from a man saying how he was sat on fab,across from his wife and she had no idea
Miss"
The latter one is vile, the poor wife |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A single woman has this as her current status.
"... "May aswell say goodbye to my sex life..everyone will be happy enough wanking off to the new fab video feature  " "
In my defence,I wrote that because i think it will be true |
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"A single woman has this as her current status.
"... "May aswell say goodbye to my sex life..everyone will be happy enough wanking off to the new fab video feature "
In my defence,I wrote that because i think it will be true"
Ok fair enough, but not look or respond to msgs........ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I see a few local women complaining about being let down and timewasters.
Stop choosing arseholes then.
"
Its painful and time-consuming process
It took me a long time to find the right person  |
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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
"There used to be a lady near me who kept popping up on updates offering blowjobs in exchange for lifts to and from town
How much petrol did u do? "
Pffft. She was...(racking brains for a diplomatic answer) less than attractive? Could be described as plain, on a dark night, from a distance? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A single woman has this as her current status.
"... "May aswell say goodbye to my sex life..everyone will be happy enough wanking off to the new fab video feature "
In my defence,I wrote that because i think it will be true"
The chanced of him picking your status |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Apart from the usual guys moaning that no one ever meets status' the funniest I've seen is "has anyone seen my dog. Goes by the name of Alan. If we've met you'll know him".
Gave me so many questions on what role Alan played in the bedroom. "
Yes that is a odd one! I hope he found Alan though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I see a few local women complaining about being let down and timewasters.
Stop choosing arseholes then.
"
Yeh, like the say they are an arse hole on their profile, devious liars most of them but it can take time for true colours to show!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There used to be a lady near me who kept popping up on updates offering blowjobs in exchange for lifts to and from town
How much petrol did u do?
Pffft. She was...(racking brains for a diplomatic answer) less than attractive? Could be described as plain, on a dark night, from a distance?"
That describes me but I’ve never offered bj’s for lifts.
Wonder how well that could go. Imagine the bus fare I’d save every week  |
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"Apart from the usual guys moaning that no one ever meets status' the funniest I've seen is "has anyone seen my dog. Goes by the name of Alan. If we've met you'll know him".
Gave me so many questions on what role Alan played in the bedroom. "
Must have been a sausage dog |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A single woman has this as her current status.
"... "May aswell say goodbye to my sex life..everyone will be happy enough wanking off to the new fab video feature "
In my defence,I wrote that because i think it will be true"
I doubt that very much. You're hot! Would much prefer playing with you over watching a video |
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By *estivalMan
over a year ago
borehamwood |
"A single woman has this as her current status.
"... "May aswell say goodbye to my sex life..everyone will be happy enough wanking off to the new fab video feature "
In my defence,I wrote that because i think it will be true"
i dont think you got any worries on that front |
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Those along the lines of 'Anyone on the.36 Hull to Basingstoke train today?'
For a social meet, a long distance train journey is probably not the best and sex is unlikely too, as it's not an overnight sleeper service. Limited chance to escape, if they're scary etc and your booking arrangement allows for no changes.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had a guy message me yest saying my morning updates always make him smile and realise hes not alone (usually asking best place to sell the crotch goblins haha) weve had a really nice chat since
Had one guy basically go off on me telling me its a sex site and not facebook and my statuses should all be sex related 
Sure ill join the ranks of the "bored, horny and desp for a shag" people
My statuses always get a decent reaction and ive met some really nice people thro them
Theres a local *lady* and i use that term vvvvveeeerrryyyyyy loosely haha whos always calling out people for being fakes/time wasters, yet i dont think ive spoken to anyone in the local area whos not had issues with her! She even took it upon her self to message blokes ive met having a go at them for not meeting her some people haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A single woman has this as her current status.
"... "May aswell say goodbye to my sex life..everyone will be happy enough wanking off to the new fab video feature "
In my defence,I wrote that because i think it will be true"
What come to the northwest hun coz I'd meet you your stunning x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I see a few local women complaining about being let down and timewasters.
Stop choosing arseholes then.
"
Surely they didn't know they were arseholes until they let them or wasted their time?  |
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"I see a few local women complaining about being let down and timewasters.
Stop choosing arseholes then.
Surely they didn't know they were arseholes until they let them or wasted their time? "
Pretty much what I thought! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Saw one from a bloke saying he would do anything for 10 ciggies delivering...
Another from a man saying how he was sat on fab,across from his wife and she had no idea
Miss"
That is low, poor woman |
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