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Mental health. Recovery.
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I've never been this open on the forum before. Heart in my throat, here goes nothing. Solidarity.
I'm a mental health success story. I'll skip some of the details, but I've had at least one mental health diagnosis for the vast majority of my life. Today, depression, anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder. I've been through more than I hope you can imagine.
I've been given various grim prognoses. A shortened, miserable, crippled life filled with suffering. No serious prospect of recovery.
Recent events have made me realise, I've recovered. I've passed some key checkpoints, as it were, which make that official.
I won't lie. It's been awful. I've seen the yawning chasm of despair more times than I can count, come close to succumbing more times than I can count. But I've fought. Every hour of every day. Sometimes I've barely survived, quite literally. But I've kept fighting.
The adolescent me who was first brought to the attention of mental health services would not believe who I've become. I think she'd be scared of me. But I'm just the woman she was meant to become.
There is hope. There is help. If I can prevail... You should keep going. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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This genuinely makes me happy to read OP. The you of even a few months ago is ever changing and that's a fantastic thing.
I hope you carry on passing those checkpoints, I have every faith you will. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've also lived with mental health problems nearly all my life,from depression to anxiety, and losing my rock 4and a half years ago was nearly the final straw,but like you OP i fought back and im so proud of the woman I've become,strong Confident and loving life
We and others know that there is life after mental illness xx |
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It’s one of the things they tell you - it will get better. When you’re at that low point it seems impossible; just talk because that’s what they have to say.
To hear it’s come true is wonderful. Well done to you  |
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Thank you for sharing. I know nothing about you apart from what you have just revealed but I stand in solidarity with you.
I've been in dark places but almost always with a crack of light for comfort but I understand what you and so many others have been through. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Great post. We need to keep sharing, we need to keep talking.
Thank you.
Please keep building on what you have done. You could be the reason for someone else to start their recovery journey xx |
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Well said. Very very well said....
If your arms in plaster everyone can see it's broken.
No one but you can truly see inside your head. And yet so often this view of self is skewed and twisted.
Nice post. Like button.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've never been this open on the forum before. Heart in my throat, here goes nothing. Solidarity.
I'm a mental health success story. I'll skip some of the details, but I've had at least one mental health diagnosis for the vast majority of my life. Today, depression, anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder. I've been through more than I hope you can imagine.
I've been given various grim prognoses. A shortened, miserable, crippled life filled with suffering. No serious prospect of recovery.
Recent events have made me realise, I've recovered. I've passed some key checkpoints, as it were, which make that official.
I won't lie. It's been awful. I've seen the yawning chasm of despair more times than I can count, come close to succumbing more times than I can count. But I've fought. Every hour of every day. Sometimes I've barely survived, quite literally. But I've kept fighting.
The adolescent me who was first brought to the attention of mental health services would not believe who I've become. I think she'd be scared of me. But I'm just the woman she was meant to become.
There is hope. There is help. If I can prevail... You should keep going. "
I'd never have guessed.. Very brave to open up about it x |
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By *evyn69Man
over a year ago
Staines |
"Thanks everyone.
I've always been shy about talking about it. Some think they can use it against me. I think I'm stronger than that now, and it's time to pay it forward. "
Yes...trusting is hard, very hard. Trusting ourselves is even harder. I know that you are at a point where you want to talk and say who you wete and are. Keep going, keep doing! Whatever morning or day or night routine you have made for yourself don't stop. The cogs keep turning but that is inevitable.....find beauty in these autumn colours, implant those images and feelings abd store them for the winter to come. Let go as do the trees to their leaves but stay grounded. Xxcxccc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've never been this open on the forum before. Heart in my throat, here goes nothing. Solidarity.
I'm a mental health success story. I'll skip some of the details, but I've had at least one mental health diagnosis for the vast majority of my life. Today, depression, anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder. I've been through more than I hope you can imagine.
I've been given various grim prognoses. A shortened, miserable, crippled life filled with suffering. No serious prospect of recovery.
Recent events have made me realise, I've recovered. I've passed some key checkpoints, as it were, which make that official.
I won't lie. It's been awful. I've seen the yawning chasm of despair more times than I can count, come close to succumbing more times than I can count. But I've fought. Every hour of every day. Sometimes I've barely survived, quite literally. But I've kept fighting.
The adolescent me who was first brought to the attention of mental health services would not believe who I've become. I think she'd be scared of me. But I'm just the woman she was meant to become.
There is hope. There is help. If I can prevail... You should keep going. "
Nice words, hope the forums help but i`m guessing it`s a mixed bag lol yes i have a mental health past! lets start at the beginning  |
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What a lovely post!
I’ve noticed a huge upturn in mental health and well-being posts recently, which is obviously a good thing.
Hopefully, posts from those who’ve turned a corner will be an inspiration to those who are still struggling!
Huge hugs to anyone who might need one today!
Peachy xx |
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"
Nice words, hope the forums help but i`m guessing it`s a mixed bag lol yes i have a mental health past! lets start at the beginning "
Tbh, I wouldn't look to the forum for help. Supportive words maybe. But it's fickle and some of the advice can be poor.
Samaritans, GP, a qualified counsellor or therapist, Mind, etc. |
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By *evyn69Man
over a year ago
Staines |
"What a lovely post!
I’ve noticed a huge upturn in mental health and well-being posts recently, which is obviously a good thing.
Hopefully, posts from those who’ve turned a corner will be an inspiration to those who are still struggling!
Huge hugs to anyone who might need one today!
Peachy xx"
Thank you for the hug. Long hugs are really helpful. Holding and breathing, sighing.
What a lovely thread I hope we all get some love and caring from each other. I for one am feeling a little emotional and I am not even the OP! |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"I've never been this open on the forum before. Heart in my throat, here goes nothing. Solidarity.
I'm a mental health success story. I'll skip some of the details, but I've had at least one mental health diagnosis for the vast majority of my life. Today, depression, anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder. I've been through more than I hope you can imagine.
I've been given various grim prognoses. A shortened, miserable, crippled life filled with suffering. No serious prospect of recovery.
Recent events have made me realise, I've recovered. I've passed some key checkpoints, as it were, which make that official.
I won't lie. It's been awful. I've seen the yawning chasm of despair more times than I can count, come close to succumbing more times than I can count. But I've fought. Every hour of every day. Sometimes I've barely survived, quite literally. But I've kept fighting.
The adolescent me who was first brought to the attention of mental health services would not believe who I've become. I think she'd be scared of me. But I'm just the woman she was meant to become.
There is hope. There is help. If I can prevail... You should keep going. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Today I admitted for the first time that I have a problem and I should probably seek help so thank you OP for this thread, you made my day a little bit better and I'm glad that you are stronger than ever |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Today I admitted for the first time that I have a problem and I should probably seek help so thank you OP for this thread, you made my day a little bit better and I'm glad that you are stronger than ever "
Good luck .....there is help out there...but not always easy to access
Persevere! |
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""The adolescent me who was first brought to the attention of mental health services would not believe who I've become. I think she'd be scared of me. But I'm just the woman she was meant to become""
That is poweful stuff OP x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Good for you, OP. We've likely all experienced some form of mental health issue or known someone close who has. Talking about it genuinely does help and anyone who would attempt to use it against you is a c**t and not worth keeping in your life. Very glad to hear you're making progress. Onwards and upwards!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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every dawn is a new start, unlike a broken bone only you can see inside your head, only you can fix it. There is good guidance and even some medication, but the victory is yours. Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mental health a mother fucker and I honestly
Believe it’s a lot
More common than people know, strong connection with mental health and brainwashed/product of society..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would.
A good ear or a good sounding off in my opinion is soooo much better than counseling. This forum in my mind provides a safe place to let off.
In addition try getting counseling from a qualified person and see how many hoops you can jump through before you say fuck it.
If discussion s like this help just 1 person. It's worthwhile. I mean what did it cost to help that individual. Nothing.
Depression: A potentially FATAL mental health ILLNESS.
Keep Talking.
keep up the good work fabbers |
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It's crazy how some of the strongest people you know are sometimes going through the worst times. Or even those who always seem to be the life and soul of the group are the carrying the heaviest mental burdens.
I've been though some tough times and almost pushed myself over the edge, luckily for me I had family and friends there to pull me from the brink.
Anyone going through hard times themselves, don't suffer alone. Speak to someone you trust, or even push yourself to get help from a specialist. Know that you aren't alone xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Councillors done nothing for me and known a couple outside their job they are less lived and have metal problems too...... it’s a crap system mostly helps some but I self edjucate..... part of thinking into things n my curiosity gets the better of me. Meditation n education has massively helped
Me |
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I've found the system to be flawed myself, a few places assume that just throwing meds at the problem will solve it. But when the problem is much deeper than that then it requires a more delicate approach sometimes, I was in therapy for over a year with PTSD and Night terrors after being assaulted on a night out and left needing 3 operations, it's taken almost 6 years but I feel I'm almost past it all!
I sincerely hope you can find that peace of mind to mate. It takes a strong person to open up to so many strangers but you're already making progress believe it or not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry to hear that pal! Glad your comming through!
I’m
Open about my stuff I just think in ways many don’t and I will always be like this because conscience and morals....... |
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Sending lots of love and admiration for your bravery.
I had a cousin die from being hit by a car when I was still too young to fully understand death. I was physically abused for years by a family member in the latter part of my childhood (not sexually before anyone jumps to conclusions). I have an incredibly strained and emotionally stunted relationship with my mum. I believe these are the things that led me to have two mental breakdowns while still a teenager. I ended up being investigated for bipolar disorder as antidepressants made me hallucinate and I had manic symptoms as well as depressive. However I have now not needed any mental health support for 5 years. I am no longer believed to be bipolar due to the length of time I have gone without symptoms. I believe the thing that helped me most was working on my self awareness. I had to learn to stop being such a perfectionist and placing unreasonable amounts of pressure on myself. That isn't something easy to do. Changing the way you think never is. I guess being physically unable to achieve perfection due to being so depressed and developing other health problems broke that cycle. I repeated a year of university and failed my dissertation but still came out with a 2:1. I guess my brain could no longer deny that I could be very much less than perfect and things would still be okay.
I also have a lot of social anxiety and I personally don't think my social skills are as good as they could be. I think this results from being a total outcast and having no proper friends for 2 years when I first moved up north. I was a new kid in a school on the edge of a northern council estate with a South London accent and even 6 year olds wouldn't be seen dead with the "posh girl". I was endlessly bullied for my pronounciations of laugh, bath, path with a long a to the point I made a conscious effort to change it. Wandering the playgrounds by yourself is pretty painful. Luckily at 8 I found a friend and then at high school I really found myself. I was far from "cool" but I found my circle and made a friend for life who I am still exceptionally close to now after 16 years. I've become very much an excessive communicator which helps ease my anxiety but also has a very positive side effect of being really good for my personal relationships.
I was reluctant to share due to people's tendency to associate mental health issues with people having unusual kinks and I didn't want to add to that. I guess people can think what they want, I know the truth. The reality is that I started to explore mine only once I had reached a really good place. Becoming a happier, healthier version of myself allowed me to really, truly accept myself and go for what I wanted to experience in life. I also feel my experiences make me explore them more healthily. Again the excessive communication and self awareness. The ability to examine my feelings and work on issues behind them has also really helped me to deal with jealousy and insecurities during my poly journey. I wouldn't change a thing about my past if I could as I wouldn't be who I am now otherwise.
Sending lots of love to anyone who is currently in a dark place. You're doing great just to be carrying on and it might feel like there is no end to it in sight but I felt that way 7 years ago and now I'm genuinely in a really good place and it seems to only be getting better. Life isn't perfect but it's happy far more often than it's sad and that's what it's all about.
*deep breath before pressing post message* |
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Thanks mate, instead of worrying about everything at once. Just focus on improving the things you can change and once you start noticing changes for the better, try and focus on that. Try not to worry about things/events you can't control and take command of the things you can my mate. You come across alot stronger than you believe yourself to be and I'll bet anyone who knows you will say the same. |
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I'm sorry to hear that Lacey. It must have been hell to go through all that and have so many different situations to deal with, but look how far you have come! That and I'll bet you are an outstanding person to be around! I've found Anti depressants and some other meds can sometimes cause more damage than good, I've seen it help some and push others to think of suicide. Getting this far in life and overcoming those barriers must have felt amazing! I've nothing but love and respect for you and anyone else sharing their experiences and troubles on this forum. You are all amazing people and Im glad I stayed up on a school night to bond with you all x |
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"I'm sorry to hear that Lacey. It must have been hell to go through all that and have so many different situations to deal with, but look how far you have come! That and I'll bet you are an outstanding person to be around! I've found Anti depressants and some other meds can sometimes cause more damage than good, I've seen it help some and push others to think of suicide. Getting this far in life and overcoming those barriers must have felt amazing! I've nothing but love and respect for you and anyone else sharing their experiences and troubles on this forum. You are all amazing people and Im glad I stayed up on a school night to bond with you all x"
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"I'm sorry to hear that Lacey. It must have been hell to go through all that and have so many different situations to deal with, but look how far you have come! That and I'll bet you are an outstanding person to be around! I've found Anti depressants and some other meds can sometimes cause more damage than good, I've seen it help some and push others to think of suicide. Getting this far in life and overcoming those barriers must have felt amazing! I've nothing but love and respect for you and anyone else sharing their experiences and troubles on this forum. You are all amazing people and Im glad I stayed up on a school night to bond with you all x
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As an epileptic, and stating it on my profile because I’m totally honest I have been called a freak and being told nobody in their right mind will want anything to do with me. It does nothing for my self esteem, which is frankly shot to pieces atm. Just when I was feeling nice, happy and confident again . I find it difficult to chat in chat rooms because it’s a confidence thing and I’m beginning to think they may have been right  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A hugely emotive post - some triggers in here for me personally.
To everyone who has shared something so deeply personal, thank you. The only way we will get over the stigma of mental health is by being open and talking about it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have now been advised to take down the epilepsy bit on my profile as it puts people off, and nobody wanted to communicate with me. “It’s their loss was my reply as they are missing out on a nice, chatty, polite and fun guy, but for now I’m giving it a try, and my inbox will now be overflowing? No chance I suspect, but you live in hope I guess |
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"I've never been this open on the forum before. Heart in my throat, here goes nothing. Solidarity.
I'm a mental health success story. I'll skip some of the details, but I've had at least one mental health diagnosis for the vast majority of my life. Today, depression, anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder. I've been through more than I hope you can imagine.
I've been given various grim prognoses. A shortened, miserable, crippled life filled with suffering. No serious prospect of recovery.
Recent events have made me realise, I've recovered. I've passed some key checkpoints, as it were, which make that official.
I won't lie. It's been awful. I've seen the yawning chasm of despair more times than I can count, come close to succumbing more times than I can count. But I've fought. Every hour of every day. Sometimes I've barely survived, quite literally. But I've kept fighting.
The adolescent me who was first brought to the attention of mental health services would not believe who I've become. I think she'd be scared of me. But I'm just the woman she was meant to become.
There is hope. There is help. If I can prevail... You should keep going. "
That’s a well thought out emotional post op..
Well done you!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sending lots of love and admiration for your bravery.
I had a cousin die from being hit by a car when I was still too young to fully understand death. I was physically abused for years by a family member in the latter part of my childhood (not sexually before anyone jumps to conclusions). I have an incredibly strained and emotionally stunted relationship with my mum. I believe these are the things that led me to have two mental breakdowns while still a teenager. I ended up being investigated for bipolar disorder as antidepressants made me hallucinate and I had manic symptoms as well as depressive. However I have now not needed any mental health support for 5 years. I am no longer believed to be bipolar due to the length of time I have gone without symptoms. I believe the thing that helped me most was working on my self awareness. I had to learn to stop being such a perfectionist and placing unreasonable amounts of pressure on myself. That isn't something easy to do. Changing the way you think never is. I guess being physically unable to achieve perfection due to being so depressed and developing other health problems broke that cycle. I repeated a year of university and failed my dissertation but still came out with a 2:1. I guess my brain could no longer deny that I could be very much less than perfect and things would still be okay.
I also have a lot of social anxiety and I personally don't think my social skills are as good as they could be. I think this results from being a total outcast and having no proper friends for 2 years when I first moved up north. I was a new kid in a school on the edge of a northern council estate with a South London accent and even 6 year olds wouldn't be seen dead with the "posh girl". I was endlessly bullied for my pronounciations of laugh, bath, path with a long a to the point I made a conscious effort to change it. Wandering the playgrounds by yourself is pretty painful. Luckily at 8 I found a friend and then at high school I really found myself. I was far from "cool" but I found my circle and made a friend for life who I am still exceptionally close to now after 16 years. I've become very much an excessive communicator which helps ease my anxiety but also has a very positive side effect of being really good for my personal relationships.
I was reluctant to share due to people's tendency to associate mental health issues with people having unusual kinks and I didn't want to add to that. I guess people can think what they want, I know the truth. The reality is that I started to explore mine only once I had reached a really good place. Becoming a happier, healthier version of myself allowed me to really, truly accept myself and go for what I wanted to experience in life. I also feel my experiences make me explore them more healthily. Again the excessive communication and self awareness. The ability to examine my feelings and work on issues behind them has also really helped me to deal with jealousy and insecurities during my poly journey. I wouldn't change a thing about my past if I could as I wouldn't be who I am now otherwise.
Sending lots of love to anyone who is currently in a dark place. You're doing great just to be carrying on and it might feel like there is no end to it in sight but I felt that way 7 years ago and now I'm genuinely in a really good place and it seems to only be getting better. Life isn't perfect but it's happy far more often than it's sad and that's what it's all about.
*deep breath before pressing post message*"
Lacey that so inspirational too x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've also lived with mental health problems nearly all my life,from depression to anxiety, and losing my rock 4and a half years ago was nearly the final straw,but like you OP i fought back and im so proud of the woman I've become,strong Confident and loving life
We and others know that there is life after mental illness xx"
Fantastic |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've found the system to be flawed myself, a few places assume that just throwing meds at the problem will solve it. But when the problem is much deeper than that then it requires a more delicate approach sometimes, I was in therapy for over a year with PTSD and Night terrors after being assaulted on a night out and left needing 3 operations, it's taken almost 6 years but I feel I'm almost past it all!
I sincerely hope you can find that peace of mind to mate. It takes a strong person to open up to so many strangers but you're already making progress believe it or not."
Wishing you well |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have now been advised to take down the epilepsy bit on my profile as it puts people off, and nobody wanted to communicate with me. “It’s their loss was my reply as they are missing out on a nice, chatty, polite and fun guy, but for now I’m giving it a try, and my inbox will now be overflowing? No chance I suspect, but you live in hope I guess"
Your openness takes courage. Wishing you well |
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Great post OP and some great replies. The human spirit is a strange and fragile beast. Genuinely loving threads like this. I have been touched by poor mental health, had that shadow of doubt cover me, that anxiety that near cripples and the little voice telling me I'm rubbish. At risk of sounding like Alan Partridge here, I've found a way to bounce back. Finding threads like this back when I was at my lowest helped immensly and made me realise that I wasn't alone.
Get talking, keep talking, reach out. Someone will always listen and support sometimes comes from the most unlikely of sources. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it's very brave of you to disclose your problems in an open Forum. And although none of us are experts in being able to offer emotional support, which is not something that everyone knows how to do, I think it's good to talk with people who have had similar experiences. There are an awful lot of lovely and caring people on here who are good listeners, and making those people aware of such important parts of your life and seeing that they accept you and support you will hopefully be incredibly helpful and liberating to you. Hugs to you x |
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By *latinumkittenWoman
over a year ago
from Home Counties to Middle Earth |
It sounds like you're journeying into your awakening - what an incredibly awe-inspiring place to be. Enjoy it. Embrace it. Live for the moment and finally say hello to the goddess who's been dormant within you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My whole life I raged against the world until 3 years ago..I started to have flashbacks..I descended into a black hole of alcohol, drugs and realised I hated me for things that others did to me..I mean really hated me , I was left with two friends that stood by me..one of which introduced me to the dance floor. ..here was my world..where I could dance my tears out and I did ...I have personality differences not like the movies depict it..now I m strong enough to give the abused child a voice..am writing his story and gawd I m crying my heart out when I write but at the same time cleansing...we that suffer live a life few can or want to imagine but we can beat it or at least learn to love ourselves so respect and love to all those on this path xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Great post op, after meeting you I wouldn’t have thought you’d had that struggle. But I know from experience that because you put on a front doesn’t mean that everything is fine inside. I struggle with mental health and have been on meds for a while now. While I don’t feel like crying all the time now I know I’m not in a good place. I’m still trying to deal with the damage of being married to a narcissist and all he’s done to me and my children. I’m not the type to go to counselling, I’ve had to keep my thoughts and feelings to myself for many years so it feels alien to let anything out.
I’m not sure what the answer to it all will be for me, but I’ve a supportive partner and a good friend who have helped me heal in some ways. Life circumstances also play a big part with me and though that’s not going to change it’s something I have to accept and deal with. But I know not everyday will be bad, there are good times and that keeps me going x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My whole life I raged against the world until 3 years ago..I started to have flashbacks..I descended into a black hole of alcohol, drugs and realised I hated me for things that others did to me..I mean really hated me , I was left with two friends that stood by me..one of which introduced me to the dance floor. ..here was my world..where I could dance my tears out and I did ...I have personality differences not like the movies depict it..now I m strong enough to give the abused child a voice..am writing his story and gawd I m crying my heart out when I write but at the same time cleansing...we that suffer live a life few can or want to imagine but we can beat it or at least learn to love ourselves so respect and love to all those on this path xx"
When I was going through some transformational experiences emotionally I found Shamanic dancing very therapeutic. There is tremendous power in being able to express your emotions authentically and great healing power in catharsis and transmutation of emotions. It’s good to hear how it has helped you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My whole life I raged against the world until 3 years ago..I started to have flashbacks..I descended into a black hole of alcohol, drugs and realised I hated me for things that others did to me..I mean really hated me , I was left with two friends that stood by me..one of which introduced me to the dance floor. ..here was my world..where I could dance my tears out and I did ...I have personality differences not like the movies depict it..now I m strong enough to give the abused child a voice..am writing his story and gawd I m crying my heart out when I write but at the same time cleansing...we that suffer live a life few can or want to imagine but we can beat it or at least learn to love ourselves so respect and love to all those on this path xx
When I was going through some transformational experiences emotionally I found Shamanic dancing very therapeutic. There is tremendous power in being able to express your emotions authentically and great healing power in catharsis and transmutation of emotions. It’s good to hear how it has helped you "
I follow a shamanic path and my dance is very much of a trance state..I close my eyes and lock out the world..it's a very emotional but beautiful world  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My whole life I raged against the world until 3 years ago..I started to have flashbacks..I descended into a black hole of alcohol, drugs and realised I hated me for things that others did to me..I mean really hated me , I was left with two friends that stood by me..one of which introduced me to the dance floor. ..here was my world..where I could dance my tears out and I did ...I have personality differences not like the movies depict it..now I m strong enough to give the abused child a voice..am writing his story and gawd I m crying my heart out when I write but at the same time cleansing...we that suffer live a life few can or want to imagine but we can beat it or at least learn to love ourselves so respect and love to all those on this path xx
When I was going through some transformational experiences emotionally I found Shamanic dancing very therapeutic. There is tremendous power in being able to express your emotions authentically and great healing power in catharsis and transmutation of emotions. It’s good to hear how it has helped you
I follow a shamanic path and my dance is very much of a trance state..I close my eyes and lock out the world..it's a very emotional but beautiful world "
Gabrielle Roth was a big inspiration for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Great post op, after meeting you I wouldn’t have thought you’d had that struggle. But I know from experience that because you put on a front doesn’t mean that everything is fine inside. I struggle with mental health and have been on meds for a while now. While I don’t feel like crying all the time now I know I’m not in a good place. I’m still trying to deal with the damage of being married to a narcissist and all he’s done to me and my children. I’m not the type to go to counselling, I’ve had to keep my thoughts and feelings to myself for many years so it feels alien to let anything out.
I’m not sure what the answer to it all will be for me, but I’ve a supportive partner and a good friend who have helped me heal in some ways. Life circumstances also play a big part with me and though that’s not going to change it’s something I have to accept and deal with. But I know not everyday will be bad, there are good times and that keeps me going x "
Have that love and support is so important Angie. I’m sure when the time is right you’ll find a way to heal those wounds. I never thought I could talk through my life experiences until I became part of a loving community where we shared with each other in an environment of radical acceptance and loving challenge that helped transform how I felt. I didn’t know I needed healing when I joined it was an academic qualification that I was seeking. The experience transformed my life. I wish you well as you find your way to heal x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Great post op, after meeting you I wouldn’t have thought you’d had that struggle. But I know from experience that because you put on a front doesn’t mean that everything is fine inside. I struggle with mental health and have been on meds for a while now. While I don’t feel like crying all the time now I know I’m not in a good place. I’m still trying to deal with the damage of being married to a narcissist and all he’s done to me and my children. I’m not the type to go to counselling, I’ve had to keep my thoughts and feelings to myself for many years so it feels alien to let anything out.
I’m not sure what the answer to it all will be for me, but I’ve a supportive partner and a good friend who have helped me heal in some ways. Life circumstances also play a big part with me and though that’s not going to change it’s something I have to accept and deal with. But I know not everyday will be bad, there are good times and that keeps me going x
Have that love and support is so important Angie. I’m sure when the time is right you’ll find a way to heal those wounds. I never thought I could talk through my life experiences until I became part of a loving community where we shared with each other in an environment of radical acceptance and loving challenge that helped transform how I felt. I didn’t know I needed healing when I joined it was an academic qualification that I was seeking. The experience transformed my life. I wish you well as you find your way to heal x"
Thanks Doc, it’s a hard habit to break a lifetimes conditioning. I will get there one day x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Great post op, after meeting you I wouldn’t have thought you’d had that struggle. But I know from experience that because you put on a front doesn’t mean that everything is fine inside. I struggle with mental health and have been on meds for a while now. While I don’t feel like crying all the time now I know I’m not in a good place. I’m still trying to deal with the damage of being married to a narcissist and all he’s done to me and my children. I’m not the type to go to counselling, I’ve had to keep my thoughts and feelings to myself for many years so it feels alien to let anything out.
I’m not sure what the answer to it all will be for me, but I’ve a supportive partner and a good friend who have helped me heal in some ways. Life circumstances also play a big part with me and though that’s not going to change it’s something I have to accept and deal with. But I know not everyday will be bad, there are good times and that keeps me going x
Have that love and support is so important Angie. I’m sure when the time is right you’ll find a way to heal those wounds. I never thought I could talk through my life experiences until I became part of a loving community where we shared with each other in an environment of radical acceptance and loving challenge that helped transform how I felt. I didn’t know I needed healing when I joined it was an academic qualification that I was seeking. The experience transformed my life. I wish you well as you find your way to heal x
Thanks Doc, it’s a hard habit to break a lifetimes conditioning. I will get there one day x "
Yep unpicking my conditioning and recreating myself has been a long journey that I’m still working on, but new habits have evolved for me along the way. I’ve still got a couple of demons to befriend properly but I’ll get there one day too x |
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Great thread OP, and so amazing to hear so many people's stories. The bastard thing with mental health is that feeling of being the only one. So many of you guys stories resonate so much with me. So nice to see people looking out for another. |
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I’m delighted you and those who suffer from mental health have turned the corner and to those trying to, keep going. It can’t be easy but talk to people - you aren’t alone EVER!
Fight that bitch and beat it! |
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"Sending lots of love and admiration for your bravery.
I had a cousin die from being hit by a car when I was still too young to fully understand death. I was physically abused for years by a family member in the latter part of my childhood (not sexually before anyone jumps to conclusions). I have an incredibly strained and emotionally stunted relationship with my mum. I believe these are the things that led me to have two mental breakdowns while still a teenager. I ended up being investigated for bipolar disorder as antidepressants made me hallucinate and I had manic symptoms as well as depressive. However I have now not needed any mental health support for 5 years. I am no longer believed to be bipolar due to the length of time I have gone without symptoms. I believe the thing that helped me most was working on my self awareness. I had to learn to stop being such a perfectionist and placing unreasonable amounts of pressure on myself. That isn't something easy to do. Changing the way you think never is. I guess being physically unable to achieve perfection due to being so depressed and developing other health problems broke that cycle. I repeated a year of university and failed my dissertation but still came out with a 2:1. I guess my brain could no longer deny that I could be very much less than perfect and things would still be okay.
I also have a lot of social anxiety and I personally don't think my social skills are as good as they could be. I think this results from being a total outcast and having no proper friends for 2 years when I first moved up north. I was a new kid in a school on the edge of a northern council estate with a South London accent and even 6 year olds wouldn't be seen dead with the "posh girl". I was endlessly bullied for my pronounciations of laugh, bath, path with a long a to the point I made a conscious effort to change it. Wandering the playgrounds by yourself is pretty painful. Luckily at 8 I found a friend and then at high school I really found myself. I was far from "cool" but I found my circle and made a friend for life who I am still exceptionally close to now after 16 years. I've become very much an excessive communicator which helps ease my anxiety but also has a very positive side effect of being really good for my personal relationships.
I was reluctant to share due to people's tendency to associate mental health issues with people having unusual kinks and I didn't want to add to that. I guess people can think what they want, I know the truth. The reality is that I started to explore mine only once I had reached a really good place. Becoming a happier, healthier version of myself allowed me to really, truly accept myself and go for what I wanted to experience in life. I also feel my experiences make me explore them more healthily. Again the excessive communication and self awareness. The ability to examine my feelings and work on issues behind them has also really helped me to deal with jealousy and insecurities during my poly journey. I wouldn't change a thing about my past if I could as I wouldn't be who I am now otherwise.
Sending lots of love to anyone who is currently in a dark place. You're doing great just to be carrying on and it might feel like there is no end to it in sight but I felt that way 7 years ago and now I'm genuinely in a really good place and it seems to only be getting better. Life isn't perfect but it's happy far more often than it's sad and that's what it's all about.
*deep breath before pressing post message*
Lacey that so inspirational too x"
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"I’m delighted you and those who suffer from mental health have turned the corner and to those trying to, keep going. It can’t be easy but talk to people - you aren’t alone EVER!
Fight that bitch and beat it! "
Absolutely! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m delighted you and those who suffer from mental health have turned the corner and to those trying to, keep going. It can’t be easy but talk to people - you aren’t alone EVER!
Fight that bitch and beat it!
Absolutely!"
But alone is what the mind gives! talking online is futile and destructive at best |
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By *os19Man
over a year ago
Edmonton |
"I've never been this open on the forum before. Heart in my throat, here goes nothing. Solidarity.
I'm a mental health success story. I'll skip some of the details, but I've had at least one mental health diagnosis for the vast majority of my life. Today, depression, anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder. I've been through more than I hope you can imagine.
I've been given various grim prognoses. A shortened, miserable, crippled life filled with suffering. No serious prospect of recovery.
Recent events have made me realise, I've recovered. I've passed some key checkpoints, as it were, which make that official.
I won't lie. It's been awful. I've seen the yawning chasm of despair more times than I can count, come close to succumbing more times than I can count. But I've fought. Every hour of every day. Sometimes I've barely survived, quite literally. But I've kept fighting.
The adolescent me who was first brought to the attention of mental health services would not believe who I've become. I think she'd be scared of me. But I'm just the woman she was meant to become.
There is hope. There is help. If I can prevail... You should keep going. "
. It is very brave of you to share your story and I would like to wish you all the best for the future as well as tell you about a young lady I met.The young lady needed help with sending over some hospital reports to Employment Support Allowance and making a claim for Universal Credit I scanned the hospital reports to Employment Support Allowance and I helped her with the online application for Universal Credit she attended the Universal Credit appointment with yet more hospital reports which I again scanned to Employment Support Allowance after her Universal Credit appointment the advisor helped her with a advance and she came to see me after to thank me and she told me I was going in what she called the happy jar.Put simply if something or someone has made her happy she writes it down on a piece of paper then when she is having a bad day she dips into the jar.When she told me this I had a tear in my eye.Best of luck with everything. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've never been this open on the forum before. Heart in my throat, here goes nothing. Solidarity.
I'm a mental health success story. I'll skip some of the details, but I've had at least one mental health diagnosis for the vast majority of my life. Today, depression, anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder. I've been through more than I hope you can imagine.
I've been given various grim prognoses. A shortened, miserable, crippled life filled with suffering. No serious prospect of recovery.
Recent events have made me realise, I've recovered. I've passed some key checkpoints, as it were, which make that official.
I won't lie. It's been awful. I've seen the yawning chasm of despair more times than I can count, come close to succumbing more times than I can count. But I've fought. Every hour of every day. Sometimes I've barely survived, quite literally. But I've kept fighting.
The adolescent me who was first brought to the attention of mental health services would not believe who I've become. I think she'd be scared of me. But I'm just the woman she was meant to become.
There is hope. There is help. If I can prevail... You should keep going. . It is very brave of you to share your story and I would like to wish you all the best for the future as well as tell you about a young lady I met.The young lady needed help with sending over some hospital reports to Employment Support Allowance and making a claim for Universal Credit I scanned the hospital reports to Employment Support Allowance and I helped her with the online application for Universal Credit she attended the Universal Credit appointment with yet more hospital reports which I again scanned to Employment Support Allowance after her Universal Credit appointment the advisor helped her with a advance and she came to see me after to thank me and she told me I was going in what she called the happy jar.Put simply if something or someone has made her happy she writes it down on a piece of paper then when she is having a bad day she dips into the jar.When she told me this I had a tear in my eye.Best of luck with everything."
Helping those in hell is a minefield! walk with soft feet |
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Some very inspiring experiences, life can be hard at times - always remember you're not alone! We all need some help at times, that's what real friends and family are for but sometimes we all need to get professional help too - they won't come to you, don't put if off as it's the first step to getting some resolve, hopefully peace and recovery! |
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