FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Insane single men of Fab
Insane single men of Fab
Jump to: Newest in thread
| |||
lots of us have been through the mill - myself included in that. it doesn't take much to have confidence and life knocked out of you......but it can take a lot to rebuild it. I've met some good friends on here, who see me and not what weighs me down. that's why love their company and not just to play but talk and gossip. | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
 it’s good to talk x | |||
big hugs to you op xx | |||
| |||
| |||
"This is more my thread than the Sane one, though I do prefer the author of that thread to this. Mental Health, yeah.. blah blah blah.. Fortunately for me, I have a personality type that's relatively robust when it comes to the topic of the decade. I didn't know that though, knew nothing about personality types until a few years ago. Up until that moment I suffered in relative silence. Men don't talk, we're hard, we don't need to, it's a sign if weakness.. all the usual guff rolling through my mind. Though because I'm robust, I suffered for over ten years with my own demons and still have to, occasionally. When I started to talk of my own accord and stopped bottling it up, nobody listened. Not my parents, not my sister, not my wife.. nobody. They all incorrectly assumed I had PDST and felt unqualified to assist. Although strongly effected by my time in the forces, that wasn't my issue, but nobody listened long enough to find out, not their fault if I couldnt express it I guess, didnt have the tools to know what may be "Wrong" With me. No, it wasnt my sexuality either. Then I took a personality test and everything that had been plaguing me my entire life began to make sense and fall into place. I started expressing the parts of me I'd been neglecting for so long, because society tells us those "qualities" Are egotistical, idealistic, narcissistic, when all I really want is to GIVE and GET attention, because I'm a social beast and need that interaction with many people on multiple levels. Will go in on myself if I'm kept from the crowd. Fab can be a pretty dark place at times, I imagine you're probably on a few online dating sites as well. Equally dark and disturbing, especially for a man who may already be lacking in confidence. Previous relationships left you broken? Perhaps you did the damage to yourself and left feeling like everything you once liked about yourself has collapsed around you like a house of cards? Maybe you've never had much luck with the ladies.. ever? Doesn't help when you take a look around at the competition and see the beautiful people you'd love to talk to, flirting openly with muscled gods. The confident guys who walk up to women in the clubs and seem to just summon up conversations out of nowhere - gift of the gab. Forget about those men. You are who is most important in your life. If you're not operating at 100%, then how can anyone expect you to care for your Wife? Partner? Children? Parents? Work responsibilities? etc. If you're suffering, get it off your chest and out in the open. Sometimes all we need is a gentle push in the right direction, a kind word, a bit of friendly advice.. directions to a personality test? To set ourselves back on track and back down the path of purpose. Sometimes the desire for intimacy and attention can be so overwhelming it causes us to act out of character. Social deprivation is a horrendous thing for a social soul to endure. I hope there are some brave guys on here who will also hold their own hands up and admit they've also been through the mill, going through the mill, or fear they're about to crash into it.. and the one next door. If not, my fab inbox is open to men who send messages of a non-sexual nature and tonight. I'm quite prepared to listen and help if im able.. in private, or on this thread in the open, where someone better qualified than me may be able to guide, point, or assist in whatever may be getting you down right now. Peace. " How lovely of you | |||
| |||
"Refreshing to see a guy willing to help other guys Good on ya "I've offered it many a time. Be it a simple talk, walk around, meet for a coffee etc No-one has taken it up, but has said it on numerous threads before.  | |||
| |||
"
lots of us have been through the mill - myself included in that. it doesn't take much to have confidence and life knocked out of you......but it can take a lot to rebuild it. I've met some good friends on here, who see me and not what weighs me down. that's why love their company and not just to play but talk and gossip."Thanks for being the bravest and speaking up first. | |||
"Refreshing to see a guy willing to help other guys Good on ya "Cheers mate | |||
| |||
| |||
"You can say that again, OP. I’d rather be insane than inane. " Be you, you're alright
Only talking to the dudes on this thread.. but thankyou ladies for showing your support for your men. | |||
"Refreshing to see a guy willing to help other guys Good on ya
Cheers mate "If only more guys were a little bit nicer to each other without there being some sort of stigma attached to it | |||
| |||
| |||
"I went through the pit aged 19 to 23. Very dark. An attempt too. But there was a reason, plus bad acne since 14. Oh yes. People were horrid. Never been the same since. Happy in myself but too eccentric for many. Who cares , life is too short to satisfy the egos of the successful and cocky. The meek shall inherit!" You're not meek mate, you are the bravest man on this thread so far, you e had it harder than I have and you're still standing. Perhaps it's the brave and battered who'll inherit the earth? | |||
| |||
"You can say that again, OP. I’d rather be insane than inane. Be you, you're alright
Only talking to the dudes on this thread.. but thankyou ladies for showing your support for your men."‘Alright’....*sigh*  , trouble is, in StevieWorld, ‘alright’ translates as ‘awesome’. | |||
"Refreshing to see a guy willing to help other guys Good on ya
I've offered it many a time.
Be it a simple talk, walk around, meet for a coffee etc
No-one has taken it up, but has said it on numerous threads before.
"Agreed and fair play to you my man, I'm far from the only guy offering to listen to other men on Fab, vid seen threads like this before. | |||
"Refreshing to see a guy willing to help other guys Good on ya
Cheers mate
If only more guys were a little bit nicer to each other without there being some sort of stigma attached to it "You have the wrong "friends" then. My friends are fantastic, big into hugs, long talks, will meet at the drop of a hat if your "feeling" it (well given work etc) Maybe you just need to find a proper "friend" that will be that person for you? (It did take me a long time, but my friends now, well.....)  | |||
"Huh. May I ask which test it was?" 16personalities I cant link it as it's not in the rules. Works for some, doesnt work for all, but it set me back on track. | |||
" You're not meek mate, you are the bravest man on this thread so far, you e had it harder than I have and you're still standing. Perhaps it's the brave and battered who'll inherit the earth?" Thank-you brother x | |||
"Why soooo serious " Not everything in life is sunshine and Rose's my friend | |||
| |||
"Hi" Hi | |||
"I hope there are some brave guys on here who will also hold their own hands up and admit they've also been through the mill, going through the mill, or fear they're about to crash into it.. and the one next door. " I've started being more open about my mental health. Sometimes on here but very much so on my own social media. I'm very open about the fact that I've had addiction issues. I'm very proud of being 4 years sober. And I'm in no way ashamed that last year when my head really caved in I very nearly killed myself. I never viewed it as brave when I started talking more about it. But I believe passionately that there should be no stigma and that it's good to be honest so I felt I had to speak out. And the best part is I've learned that speaking out does encourage other people to steal out and that's fucking brilliant. | |||
| |||
| |||
"Refreshing to see a guy willing to help other guys Good on ya
Cheers mate
If only more guys were a little bit nicer to each other without there being some sort of stigma attached to it
You have the wrong "friends" then.
My friends are fantastic, big into hugs, long talks, will meet at the drop of a hat if your "feeling" it (well given work etc)
Maybe you just need to find a proper "friend" that will be that person for you?
(It did take me a long time, but my friends now, well.....)
"My friends are the same fella | |||
"Refreshing to see a guy willing to help other guys Good on ya
Cheers mate
If only more guys were a little bit nicer to each other without there being some sort of stigma attached to it
You have the wrong "friends" then.
My friends are fantastic, big into hugs, long talks, will meet at the drop of a hat if your "feeling" it (well given work etc)
Maybe you just need to find a proper "friend" that will be that person for you?
(It did take me a long time, but my friends now, well.....)
"it's good to have them friends. mines a complete hash tbh. don't really know many round here where I live now and because I've never worked locally it's not like can just pop round for a brew. same as the ones I do know are more friends with the ex and my good mates are like 3hrs away - I moved up here with ex. hence why I chat online a lot but it's not same as having human interaction and hearing words from a voice rather than reading a screen. I'll not keep boring you lovely lot with it. | |||
"I prob fit very well into that post, but like a lot of men feel that my problems are mine to deal with and not to bore or put them on other people. so as men do we bottle them up to one side to deal with at another time and then it all goes pop. when I last went to see someone about it it took me 4 weeks before they could start teasing bits out of me - but even then I couldn't open up properly.....probably the worst as times I can't shut up or i flip 180° and become very insular and hardly say a word to anyone as friends will testify to." You're describing exactly how I felt for ten years man.. I didnt need to feel that way for so long, could have been much happier. Almost makes me a bit teary for younger me, want to pay him on back and tell him.. you're alright as you are mate, own it. I can't do that, so *Pat's you on the back instead* You're alright as you are mate.. next time you talk, let it flow, like tears, or throwing up.. its a release you feel better for afterwards. | |||
"Ill hold my hands up and admit ive needed help. Mental health is not a taboo subject and its ok to not be ok. I did my time in the army, i went in a broken child a left a destroyed man. It doesnt make you weak to ask for help. In fact some of the men who people consider to be the strongest often ask for help. Its not something to be embarrassed about. And trust me talk to someone, ask for help itll be the best thing youve ever done in your life. If anyone is struggling with mental health feel free to inbox me, as an advocate for mental health i can point you in the righy direction of where to get help in your local area " There we go someone better qualified already | |||
"You can say that again, OP. I’d rather be insane than inane. Be you, you're alright
Only talking to the dudes on this thread.. but thankyou ladies for showing your support for your men.
‘Alright’....*sigh* , trouble is, in StevieWorld, ‘alright’ translates as ‘awesome’. "ok.. you're awesome Stevie | |||
| |||
"Refreshing to see a guy willing to help other guys Good on ya
Cheers mate
If only more guys were a little bit nicer to each other without there being some sort of stigma attached to it
You have the wrong "friends" then.
My friends are fantastic, big into hugs, long talks, will meet at the drop of a hat if your "feeling" it (well given work etc)
Maybe you just need to find a proper "friend" that will be that person for you?
(It did take me a long time, but my friends now, well.....)
"Friends aren't easy to make as an adult, especially if you've no faith or confidence in yourself and others. Sometimes it helps and is easier to have the random kindness of a relative stranger. | |||
" You're not meek mate, you are the bravest man on this thread so far, you e had it harder than I have and you're still standing. Perhaps it's the brave and battered who'll inherit the earth? Thank-you brother x" My pleasure, I meant what I said dude, anytime. | |||
"I hope there are some brave guys on here who will also hold their own hands up and admit they've also been through the mill, going through the mill, or fear they're about to crash into it.. and the one next door. I've started being more open about my mental health. Sometimes on here but very much so on my own social media. I'm very open about the fact that I've had addiction issues. I'm very proud of being 4 years sober. And I'm in no way ashamed that last year when my head really caved in I very nearly killed myself. I never viewed it as brave when I started talking more about it. But I believe passionately that there should be no stigma and that it's good to be honest so I felt I had to speak out. And the best part is I've learned that speaking out does encourage other people to steal out and that's fucking brilliant." I think you're brave. Transparency like that takes courage. | |||
"Refreshing to see a guy willing to help other guys Good on ya
Cheers mate
If only more guys were a little bit nicer to each other without there being some sort of stigma attached to it
You have the wrong "friends" then.
My friends are fantastic, big into hugs, long talks, will meet at the drop of a hat if your "feeling" it (well given work etc)
Maybe you just need to find a proper "friend" that will be that person for you?
(It did take me a long time, but my friends now, well.....)
Friends aren't easy to make as an adult, especially if you've no faith or confidence in yourself and others.
Sometimes it helps and is easier to have the random kindness of a relative stranger."I agree, hence I have always offered to help. Be it male or female, sometimes we just need to have a chat and or a hug, just talk random bollocks with each other, that helps. | |||
| |||
| |||
"Refreshing to see a guy willing to help other guys Good on ya
Cheers mate
If only more guys were a little bit nicer to each other without there being some sort of stigma attached to it
You have the wrong "friends" then.
My friends are fantastic, big into hugs, long talks, will meet at the drop of a hat if your "feeling" it (well given work etc)
Maybe you just need to find a proper "friend" that will be that person for you?
(It did take me a long time, but my friends now, well.....)
it's good to have them friends. mines a complete hash tbh. don't really know many round here where I live now and because I've never worked locally it's not like can just pop round for a brew. same as the ones I do know are more friends with the ex and my good mates are like 3hrs away - I moved up here with ex. hence why I chat online a lot but it's not same as having human interaction and hearing words from a voice rather than reading a screen.
I'll not keep boring you lovely lot with it."Same exact boat here. Not boring at all. | |||
| |||
"Thanks for posting this. 35 years of mental abuse finally ended last October when my dad died . With the help of friends I'm only now learning to live my life at 46!" Forgive my temporarily bypassing last nights block and saying "Monitor that situation, last year wasnt that long ago and trauma can take time to manifest itself. I'm glad yourd back on track and have good friends for support. | |||
"Refreshing to see a guy willing to help other guys Good on ya
Cheers mate
If only more guys were a little bit nicer to each other without there being some sort of stigma attached to it
You have the wrong "friends" then.
My friends are fantastic, big into hugs, long talks, will meet at the drop of a hat if your "feeling" it (well given work etc)
Maybe you just need to find a proper "friend" that will be that person for you?
(It did take me a long time, but my friends now, well.....)
Friends aren't easy to make as an adult, especially if you've no faith or confidence in yourself and others.
Sometimes it helps and is easier to have the random kindness of a relative stranger.
I agree, hence I have always offered to help.
Be it male or female, sometimes we just need to have a chat and or a hug, just talk random bollocks with each other, that helps.
"People in here have done it for me, more than once. | |||
"GK sometimes your ramblings drive me nuts, sometimes they make me laugh, sometimes face palm...but sometimes they touch me and move me and this is one of them - you did good Padowan and may people take strength from that. We all have times where we feel the whole world is against us, or we're staring into the abyss, where no matter which way you turn you don't see a way out and it's those experiences that *can* make us stronger and better people and there's not a thing wrong with putting your hand up and admitting you need help with it - even if it's just someone to listen to you. So hats off to you my crazy friend a lovely thread and a lovely gesture of openness and honesty" *off with his head* | |||
" Thank-you brother x My pleasure, I meant what I said dude, anytime. " | |||
Mrs | |||
"I don’t have any close friends. I had one when I was 17 and he walked himself off a viaduct so I never got close to anyone after that. I’m not insular though, I’m quite sociable but I don’t talk about serious stuff because it could get too close for comfort. I’m happy with myself now. Saying that, I mostly always was anyway. Just the midlife crisis blip. " Mate, it sounds like that's still weighing on your mind to me, I'm here to listen, but not qualified to help, if that makes sense? | |||
"I don’t have any close friends. I had one when I was 17 and he walked himself off a viaduct so I never got close to anyone after that. I’m not insular though, I’m quite sociable but I don’t talk about serious stuff because it could get too close for comfort. I’m happy with myself now. Saying that, I mostly always was anyway. Just the midlife crisis blip. Mate, it sounds like that's still weighing on your mind to me, I'm here to listen, but not qualified to help, if that makes sense? " I’m ok | |||
"We all suffer at some point, some of us cope better than others, some of us like myself shut down and withdraw.... for me it’s PTSD, As the man says don’t suffer in silence "Are you? Please tell me you've got someone to talk to about PTSD. | |||
| |||
"I've never suffered with problems myself but I'm a damn good listener and will give anyone a hug that needs one "Sort of friend any man should have | |||
Jo.Xx | |||
"We all suffer at some point, some of us cope better than others, some of us like myself shut down and withdraw.... for me it’s PTSD, As the man says don’t suffer in silence "If you ever need help mate pm me, ive got alot of contact details for ptsd specialists and can get a referral done for you if you want | |||
"I've never suffered with problems myself but I'm a damn good listener and will give anyone a hug that needs one
Sort of friend any man should have "I'm never too busy, it's never too late at night, if anyone ever needs to chat I'll be there I give pretty sound advice too | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"That made me tearful. Sometimes people who suffered the most.. have the most to give.. " I dunno about that, I've already heard some stories that make my tale of woe sound like a walk in the park. My lifestyle been relatively easy, but when you're in a rut, you're in a rut and it feels the same, however fortunate you have been in the past. I think I just articulate quite well. If that helps put someone on the path, then its worth looking like a plonked for it | |||
"That made me tearful. Sometimes people who suffered the most.. have the most to give.. I dunno about that, I've already heard some stories that make my tale of woe sound like a walk in the park. My lifestyle been relatively easy, but when you're in a rut, you're in a rut and it feels the same, however fortunate you have been in the past. I think I just articulate quite well. If that helps put someone on the path, then its worth looking like a plonked for it "I meant it in general GK.. that being in that position of being mental health sufferer or survivor doesn't make you unable to pass on some goodness. And possibly quite opposite, makes you want to pay it forward? Or sometimes to at least take focus away from your own challenges by being there for others.. Just a side note/chaotic ramblings. | |||
"That made me tearful. Sometimes people who suffered the most.. have the most to give.. I dunno about that, I've already heard some stories that make my tale of woe sound like a walk in the park. My lifestyle been relatively easy, but when you're in a rut, you're in a rut and it feels the same, however fortunate you have been in the past. I think I just articulate quite well. If that helps put someone on the path, then its worth looking like a plonked for it "Suffering isn't a competition | |||
"That made me tearful. Sometimes people who suffered the most.. have the most to give.. I dunno about that, I've already heard some stories that make my tale of woe sound like a walk in the park. My lifestyle been relatively easy, but when you're in a rut, you're in a rut and it feels the same, however fortunate you have been in the past. I think I just articulate quite well. If that helps put someone on the path, then its worth looking like a plonked for it
I meant it in general GK.. that being in that position of being mental health sufferer or survivor doesn't make you unable to pass on some goodness. And possibly quite opposite, makes you want to pay it forward? Or sometimes to at least take focus away from your own challenges by being there for others.. Just a side note/chaotic ramblings. "Good point. Someone helped me, I just want to pass it on, because it changed my life very quickly and made sense of my past, at a time I needed it most of all. | |||
"That made me tearful. Sometimes people who suffered the most.. have the most to give.. I dunno about that, I've already heard some stories that make my tale of woe sound like a walk in the park. My lifestyle been relatively easy, but when you're in a rut, you're in a rut and it feels the same, however fortunate you have been in the past. I think I just articulate quite well. If that helps put someone on the path, then its worth looking like a plonked for it
Suffering isn't a competition "True | |||
" Good point. Someone helped me, I just want to pass it on, because it changed my life very quickly and made sense of my past, at a time I needed it most of all. " And making sense of it all is the hardest.. Well done you! | |||
"Why soooo serious Not everything in life is sunshine and Rose's my friend "i didnt read it i thought it was a piss take thread oops  | |||
| |||
"Why soooo serious Not everything in life is sunshine and Rose's my friend i didnt read it i thought it was a piss take thread oops "You can take piss whenever you like man. Laughing is better than crying about it, so long as it's with us, not at us | |||
"I'm here for anyone who wants needs a chat x" go you x | |||
