So you've arranged a social, a meet.
We all know far too many people get let down. So my question is...is it ok to have a back up plan?
Afterall if you do it means some is getting let down somewhere, doesn't it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Never have a 'back-up' when meeting alone or with my wife. Have arranged to meet new members in a club though so if they dont show i/we still have a sexy time. |
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"So you've arranged a social, a meet.
We all know far too many people get let down. So my question is...is it ok to have a back up plan?
Afterall if you do it means some is getting let down somewhere, doesn't it?"
Personally i feel its far too rude and disrespectful to the person you have agreed to meet if you have a "back up" but then again i got slaughtered on here yesterday becuase id been let down for today and was asking if anybody was available be it either or a social or fun due to me not having a back up. So i guess ya cant win  |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
Personally I've never done that before nor been let down/stood up/cancelled last minute on so it's not something I've ever felt the need to do.
I understand why people do it and I guess as long as both parties are aware and okay with it and you don't treat someone like second best, it's okayish? I don't agree with it but I get why people might do it. |
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"So you've arranged a social, a meet.
We all know far too many people get let down. So my question is...is it ok to have a back up plan?
Afterall if you do it means some is getting let down somewhere, doesn't it?
Personally i feel its far too rude and disrespectful to the person you have agreed to meet if you have a "back up" but then again i got slaughtered on here yesterday becuase id been let down for today and was asking if anybody was available be it either or a social or fun due to me not having a back up. So i guess ya cant win "
This is what made me think about it x |
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"Personally I've never done that before nor been let down/stood up/cancelled last minute on so it's not something I've ever felt the need to do.
I understand why people do it and I guess as long as both parties are aware and okay with it and you don't treat someone like second best, it's okayish? I don't agree with it but I get why people might do it."
I'm torn also. I have never been cancelled on but if I had and it happened often well I may consider it....maybe |
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"So you've arranged a social, a meet.
We all know far too many people get let down. So my question is...is it ok to have a back up plan?
Afterall if you do it means some is getting let down somewhere, doesn't it?
Personally i feel its far too rude and disrespectful to the person you have agreed to meet if you have a "back up" but then again i got slaughtered on here yesterday becuase id been let down for today and was asking if anybody was available be it either or a social or fun due to me not having a back up. So i guess ya cant win
This is what made me think about it x"
Yeah im pretty sure you wouldn't be too pleased if you knew id already had somebody else lined up just incase. As i say to do that is not only disrespectful to you but how can you be sure you have my full attention if theres somebody else "just incase" x |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
I don’t have a back up plan. It wouldn’t sit well with me to have someone in the wings just in case and if someone did that to me it would upset me greatly.
My plan would be move on forget about it and go and do something else that I enjoy  |
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"So you've arranged a social, a meet.
We all know far too many people get let down. So my question is...is it ok to have a back up plan?
Afterall if you do it means some is getting let down somewhere, doesn't it?
Personally i feel its far too rude and disrespectful to the person you have agreed to meet if you have a "back up" but then again i got slaughtered on here yesterday becuase id been let down for today and was asking if anybody was available be it either or a social or fun due to me not having a back up. So i guess ya cant win
This is what made me think about it x
Yeah im pretty sure you wouldn't be too pleased if you knew id already had somebody else lined up just incase. As i say to do that is not only disrespectful to you but how can you be sure you have my full attention if theres somebody else "just incase" x"
I think to meet at a club is the best back up plan |
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we’ve been asked to be back up plans a few times. Pisses me off! We don’t mind last minute messages with people saying they’ve been let down and just chancing their arm to see if we’re free, those nights have actually been fun. But to know you’re someone’s second choice doesn’t feel great! |
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"So you've arranged a social, a meet.
We all know far too many people get let down. So my question is...is it ok to have a back up plan?
Afterall if you do it means some is getting let down somewhere, doesn't it?
Personally i feel its far too rude and disrespectful to the person you have agreed to meet if you have a "back up" but then again i got slaughtered on here yesterday becuase id been let down for today and was asking if anybody was available be it either or a social or fun due to me not having a back up. So i guess ya cant win
This is what made me think about it x
Yeah im pretty sure you wouldn't be too pleased if you knew id already had somebody else lined up just incase. As i say to do that is not only disrespectful to you but how can you be sure you have my full attention if theres somebody else "just incase" x
I think to meet at a club is the best back up plan "
Yeah that makes sense doesnt it i guess. Hmmm now do i visit quest today then or not  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Agreed no one should be a back up plan, just take it as a experience block them and move on. Just try and build on something where you know you won’t be let down, okay that’s not always possible on here but hey just go with it. Leave them to it and you do you  |
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"I don’t have a back up plan. It wouldn’t sit well with me to have someone in the wings just in case and if someone did that to me it would upset me greatly.
My plan would be move on forget about it and go and do something else that I enjoy "
It wouldn't sit well with me either |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
"Back in the dim and distant past I found out a few times I was a plan B. One of the reasons I stopped meeting as it felt shit."
And that’s the issue really isn’t it? There is a person with feelings at the end of it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Back in the dim and distant past I found out a few times I was a plan B. One of the reasons I stopped meeting as it felt shit.
And that’s the issue really isn’t it? There is a person with feelings at the end of it. "
I learned it didn’t really matter to them because in their mind their was a sound rationale for the decision. Their decision making was based on their logic and didn’t take into account my feelings, except for a pathetic apology. And a better luck next time attitude. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Back in the dim and distant past I found out a few times I was a plan B. One of the reasons I stopped meeting as it felt shit.
And that’s the issue really isn’t it? There is a person with feelings at the end of it.
I learned it didn’t really matter to them because in their mind their was a sound rationale for the decision. Their decision making was based on their logic and didn’t take into account my feelings, except for a pathetic apology. And a better luck next time attitude."
there |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Understandable if you've paid for the babysitter.
In all the cases it happened to me it was simply a case of not being the preferred option."
Wow that’s terrible! I think that’s so bad personally. I’d hunt them down and have their bollocks in a jar if I found out someone did that to me. |
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"So you've arranged a social, a meet.
We all know far too many people get let down. So my question is...is it ok to have a back up plan?
Afterall if you do it means some is getting let down somewhere, doesn't it?"
I've yet to arrange a meet ... To be honest, I wouldn't be so disrespectful and not turn up. If I had legitimate reason I hope that the person I'm meeting knows me well enough to understand that and we can meet another time |
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"Back in the dim and distant past I found out a few times I was a plan B. One of the reasons I stopped meeting as it felt shit.
And that’s the issue really isn’t it? There is a person with feelings at the end of it. "
That's the crux of it for me |
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"Understandable if you've paid for the babysitter.
In all the cases it happened to me it was simply a case of not being the preferred option.
Wow that’s terrible! I think that’s so bad personally. I’d hunt them down and have their bollocks in a jar if I found out someone did that to me. "
Like it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Understandable if you've paid for the babysitter.
In all the cases it happened to me it was simply a case of not being the preferred option.
Wow that’s terrible! I think that’s so bad personally. I’d hunt them down and have their bollocks in a jar if I found out someone did that to me. "
I don’t do revenge. It was easier to stop meeting, lick my wounds and learn the lesson. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No definitely not, wouldn’t want to be anyone’s back up either...find it difficult enough to find one person I want to meet, let alone another as back up |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
"Back in the dim and distant past I found out a few times I was a plan B. One of the reasons I stopped meeting as it felt shit.
And that’s the issue really isn’t it? There is a person with feelings at the end of it.
I learned it didn’t really matter to them because in their mind their was a sound rationale for the decision. Their decision making was based on their logic and didn’t take into account my feelings, except for a pathetic apology. And a better luck next time attitude."
I couldn’t treat a person that way. The lengths people will go to for sex never fails to amaze me. |
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
It's not OK to treat people like commodities, so no I don't agree with using a person as a back up plan.
And anyone willing to be a "plan b" sounds like someone with low self worth and not someone I'd really want to meet anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's not OK to treat people like commodities, so no I don't agree with using a person as a back up plan.
And anyone willing to be a "plan b" sounds like someone with low self worth and not someone I'd really want to meet anyway. "
You don’t know you’re plan B until you are told you’ve been cancelled and given the reason. |
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
"It's not OK to treat people like commodities, so no I don't agree with using a person as a back up plan.
And anyone willing to be a "plan b" sounds like someone with low self worth and not someone I'd really want to meet anyway.
You don’t know your plan B until you are told you’ve been cancelled and given the reason."
Yea I know that's generally the case, I was referring to someone above who said its OK if everyone's in the know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's not OK to treat people like commodities, so no I don't agree with using a person as a back up plan.
And anyone willing to be a "plan b" sounds like someone with low self worth and not someone I'd really want to meet anyway.
You don’t know you’re plan B until you are told you’ve been cancelled and given the reason."
or find out at a later stage. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's not OK to treat people like commodities, so no I don't agree with using a person as a back up plan.
And anyone willing to be a "plan b" sounds like someone with low self worth and not someone I'd really want to meet anyway.
You don’t know your plan B until you are told you’ve been cancelled and given the reason.
Yea I know that's generally the case, I was referring to someone above who said its OK if everyone's in the know. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Often the biggest learning experiences here are from observing. I believe if a newbie had posted this then I could see this thread taking a very different turn.....
.....I guess it's ok to do what you like and live life how you see fit. I've definitely had the feeling I've been the back up plan before and i think if less ppl had back up plans then I reckon less ppl would NEED back up plans because ppl wouldn't be letting others down, it's a vicious circle....
.....I'm a full time dad myself and if I was meeting then I'd need a sitter etc, but I'd like to think I respect myself enough not to be that desperate just to NEED any old vagina wrapped around my cock and also to respect the ppl I'd be potentially meeting. I'd just change my plans and do something else enjoyable instead or give my sitter a night off. Back up's, being or having, just make me a feel a litte bit  and turn me off....  |
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By *manaWoman
over a year ago
Basingstoke |
"Takes me long enough to find a plan A .. I’d be knackered if I needed a B as well.. 
It’s a no from me.. and I hope to god I’m nobodies plan B.. x"
100% this
I'd not make others plan B so I certainly wouldn't want to be xx |
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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago
Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria |
Hmmm bit of a funny one, doesn’t sound nice to think of having someone else there just in case, as you said plan b would then be let down if plan a worked out but we have had people message about meeting and if we say we have something on already they have said let’s us know if they cancel, so if you made them aware you already have plans and they are happy to wait that’s up to them but to do it as a secret plan b isn’t nice. How about a plan b that wouldn’t involve another person as people’s spare time maybe precious so a shame to waste it, so maybe do something else like the cinema or if your feeling naughty pop along to a club |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Like saffron, it takes me so long to arrange plan a I'd have no hope of a plan b.
In my early fab days I have been a plan b and it wasnt too bad for a bit of fun  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't get too many expectations from meeting a new guy due to past experiences so it doesn't matter too much if meet doesn't happen.
It's a nice surprise if meet goes to plan and if I actually like the guy |
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