FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Leading people on... do you?
Leading people on... do you?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Someone winks at you or sends you a message. You chat for a while, then they send a face pic and you're not attracted to them.
Were you leading them on by chatting to them?
Do you say you don't want to fuck them or do you just block them after they sent the face pic? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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After sendin a pic . I always say if not your type just say....
And like wise if the pic thats sent to me i dont feel any atraction too. I just say Sorry not for me.
Just set your on guides remember we are all different  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m usually honest and say sorry you seem lovely but not what I am looking for. It’s exactly why I want face pics in the beginning. But good looking sure as shit don’t mean interesting so most get binned anyway... |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
I wouldn't be leading them on, no. Normally I find that I can tell before I see a face pic if I'm going to find someone attractive or not - there's only been a couple of times where that hasn't been the case. In those situations I've apologised and said sorry, not for me etc. |
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By *aenMan
over a year ago
Here and There |
"I say oh my god you look exactly like my brother/dad/horrible ex, I'm really sorry but we can't have sex now  "
Haha, I’ve had that a few times. I’ve also had the immediate block on sending a face pic which seems a bit harsh 
You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea so I now send a face pic relatively early in the conversation to see what happens next. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not leading on but chatting and seeing if there’s a chance we would get on. If the face pic doesn’t do it for me, I tell them. I find just blocking them incredibly rude and must hurt. I don’t want to hurt anyone  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Someone winks at you or sends you a message. You chat for a while, then they send a face pic and you're not attracted to them.
Were you leading them on by chatting to them?
Do you say you don't want to fuck them or do you just block them after they sent the face pic?"
i think a pity shag is fair  |
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I chat to lots of people even if I know there's no chance of meeting either because of distance or any other million of reasons.
As long as they know I'm not going to take it anywhere with them I don't see the harm in just having a good chinwag. I'm honest & tell them it's just a natter- I never suggest I'm going to meet them & always let them know husband reads every message
Lots of people just like to chat without thinking it's going to end up with sex with someone else. There are many reasons to talk |
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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago
local, but not too local |
Instablock stings a bit but we’re not going to fancy everyone are we?
I know I have my own preferences, I’m sure everyone else does. You need a thick skin to be a straight single male on here |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Not leading on but chatting and seeing if there’s a chance we would get on. If the face pic doesn’t do it for me, I tell them. I find just blocking them incredibly rude and must hurt. I don’t want to hurt anyone "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If it's someone I've been chatting to then I will send a not my type message, however some have stayed to be just good friends."
Friends on a swingers site. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Also : it’s good to chat. That’s not time wasting or leading on, imo."
Some men assume if a woman is chatting she secretly fancies him and he will eventually get sex. 
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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago
local, but not too local |
"Also : it’s good to chat. That’s not time wasting or leading on, imo.
Some men assume if a woman is chatting she secretly fancies him and he will eventually get sex.
"
Nah I’m happy to chat, but I’m probably not pushy enough
That said I’m not really interested in talking to solo men. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I find it really awkward to say you are not for me! But based on this thread I will try to be more honest but tactfully!!! "
"You look great but not what I'm looking for sorry. Hope you find someone nice. xx"
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It's very difficult to turn someone down after you've talked, seen faces and met socially. We emphasise that there are no guarantees and the other person says they understand but...they actually don't a lot of the time. If someone feels they've been led on by us it's not because we haven't been clear. I think there are times when people get ahead of themselves and lead themselves on.
I have genuinely considered recently just telling people there's absolutely no chance whatsoever. As it is I've started dressing way more conservatively for socials. It seems though that just engaging in conversation, even if you point out from the start that it's just a friendly chat gives people expectations. |
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I don't think it's leading somebody on to show an interest in somebody based on what you know about somebody so far. I also don't think it's wrong to be not physically attracted to somebody.
It's important for us to exchange photos early in a conversation. We're not all about looks but there are people who we can like as people but are not our type physically. That's just life.
We would always tell people quickly if we know they are not for us but we would be reasonably diplomatic about it. We only block rude people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is why I ask for a face picture at the beginning of a chat - I send one back. If mutual interest is there, we carry on chatting. If he's not my type, I say so. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's very difficult to turn someone down after you've talked, seen faces and met socially. We emphasise that there are no guarantees and the other person says they understand but...they actually don't a lot of the time. If someone feels they've been led on by us it's not because we haven't been clear. I think there are times when people get ahead of themselves and lead themselves on.
I have genuinely considered recently just telling people there's absolutely no chance whatsoever. As it is I've started dressing way more conservatively for socials. It seems though that just engaging in conversation, even if you point out from the start that it's just a friendly chat gives people expectations."
To be fair, women on here are always 'up for it'. Dressing conservatively in a high necked sweater and trousers will just accentuate your boobs and bum.
Drink yer Babycham up luv, I'll let you have a suck in the car park while yer hubbie pays the bill. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Someone winks at you or sends you a message. You chat for a while, then they send a face pic and you're not attracted to them.
Were you leading them on by chatting to them?"
Of course not but I'd ask for a face pic much sooner. |
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I only speak platonically on here so that soon s out those I’m not compatible with anyway.. if it gets to a point where I think we are on different pages I have the conversation and make it clear where I am. Most people aren’t surprised as my profile makes this very clear. It’s not personal.. I just don’t click that easily. |
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"Someone winks at you or sends you a message. You chat for a while, then they send a face pic and you're not attracted to them.
Were you leading them on by chatting to them?
Do you say you don't want to fuck them or do you just block them after they sent the face pic?"
Should ask for face pic pretty much straight away before anything else if that's important..which for most people it should be. |
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"It's very difficult to turn someone down after you've talked, seen faces and met socially. We emphasise that there are no guarantees and the other person says they understand but...they actually don't a lot of the time. If someone feels they've been led on by us it's not because we haven't been clear. I think there are times when people get ahead of themselves and lead themselves on.
I have genuinely considered recently just telling people there's absolutely no chance whatsoever. As it is I've started dressing way more conservatively for socials. It seems though that just engaging in conversation, even if you point out from the start that it's just a friendly chat gives people expectations.
To be fair, women on here are always 'up for it'. Dressing conservatively in a high necked sweater and trousers will just accentuate your boobs and bum.
Drink yer Babycham up luv, I'll let you have a suck in the car park while yer hubbie pays the bill. "
 .
I will say though that lots of men are very aware of overstepping the mark and emphasise that they understand there are no guarantees. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Someone winks at you or sends you a message. You chat for a while, then they send a face pic and you're not attracted to them.
Were you leading them on by chatting to them?
Do you say you don't want to fuck them or do you just block them after they sent the face pic?
Should ask for face pic pretty much straight away before anything else if that's important..which for most people it should be."
Why should it be?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's very difficult to turn someone down after you've talked, seen faces and met socially. We emphasise that there are no guarantees and the other person says they understand but...they actually don't a lot of the time. If someone feels they've been led on by us it's not because we haven't been clear. I think there are times when people get ahead of themselves and lead themselves on.
I have genuinely considered recently just telling people there's absolutely no chance whatsoever. As it is I've started dressing way more conservatively for socials. It seems though that just engaging in conversation, even if you point out from the start that it's just a friendly chat gives people expectations.
To be fair, women on here are always 'up for it'. Dressing conservatively in a high necked sweater and trousers will just accentuate your boobs and bum.
Drink yer Babycham up luv, I'll let you have a suck in the car park while yer hubbie pays the bill.
.
I will say though that lots of men are very aware of overstepping the mark and emphasise that they understand there are no guarantees."
I agree, apologies to those types of men. They also exist. |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"Someone winks at you or sends you a message. You chat for a while, then they send a face pic and you're not attracted to them.
Were you leading them on by chatting to them?
Do you say you don't want to fuck them or do you just block them after they sent the face pic?"
I just tell them they aren't my type, we might continue chatting, we might not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve told them they’re not my type, in the most polite way.
Some take it as it is, and move on, others get abusive and insulting so sometimes I will just block.
It depends on the person and how I assume they’ll come across. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No you're not.
I'm always polite if I get rejected, it is what it is.
I've actually found women and couples equally as bad as at taking rejection as the men on here.
I've said politely to a few they're not for me and got untold abuse for it like they are doing me a favour by offering to fuck me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you can't have an Adult conversation and take rejection, then God help you on here.
If I fucked the guys I'm not attracted to, then I may as well go on the game and get paid for it!
Block, ignore, move on. Just deal with it like an Adult. |
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
"I’m usually honest and say sorry you seem lovely but not what I am looking for. It’s exactly why I want face pics in the beginning. But good looking sure as shit don’t mean interesting so most get binned anyway... "
Exactly this |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
Frankly, I don't think it's for the person to necessarily decide if you lead people on or not.
I'm sure it's not the intention of most to lead people on (if it were then they'd be a pretty awful person), however sometimes lines get crossed and people anticipate more from words or actions. In those instances then, surely a critical look at actions and a heartfelt "sorry" is in order? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No, you were not misleading. You were getting to know someone and if that happens to be the deciding factor, so be it. It could have been equally anything else.
Though maybe i wouldnt block them instantly if we were chatting for a while. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is why I ask for a face picture at the beginning of a chat - I send one back. If mutual interest is there, we carry on chatting. If he's not my type, I say so."
This is the way we do things to...there has to be mutual attraction for all concerned...not into mercy or munter shags.Definately not taking one for the team either... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Always best to be honest. The conversation could fizzle out naturally and not because of how someone looks, there’s lots of reasons "
exactly could just be the woman youre messaging has so much interest from other more appealing guys youre just bringing up the rear |
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If you have no intention of pursuing something that your behavior or communication has indicated otherwise, then you are to some extent leading them on. But you are not indebted to provide a "no thanks' message - it's appropriate to withdraw.
Often people have much unspoken stuff going on when they chat with others to start with - they tread carefully. It can be uncertain what each wants. When you know you don't want to know another - get out of there!
But it can take effort via 2D massaging to fully decide, so I understand why people are slower than real life.
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"Always best to be honest. The conversation could fizzle out naturally and not because of how someone looks, there’s lots of reasons exactly could just be the woman youre messaging has so much interest from other more appealing guys youre just bringing up the rear "
This is where I think people assume something to suit ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Always best to be honest. The conversation could fizzle out naturally and not because of how someone looks, there’s lots of reasons exactly could just be the woman youre messaging has so much interest from other more appealing guys youre just bringing up the rear
This is where I think people assume something to suit ! "
assumption is the mother of invention |
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"Someone winks at you or sends you a message. You chat for a while, then they send a face pic and you're not attracted to them.
Were you leading them on by chatting to them?
Do you say you don't want to fuck them or do you just block them after they sent the face pic?"
Surely there needs to be a mix of physical attraction and personality before you feel like having sex with someone.
Cal |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Someone winks at you or sends you a message. You chat for a while, then they send a face pic and you're not attracted to them.
Were you leading them on by chatting to them?
Do you say you don't want to fuck them or do you just block them after they sent the face pic?
Surely there needs to be a mix of physical attraction and personality before you feel like having sex with someone.
Cal"
how are you going to get personality until you meet them though? |
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"Always best to be honest. The conversation could fizzle out naturally and not because of how someone looks, there’s lots of reasons
exactly could just be the woman youre messaging has so much interest from other more appealing guys youre just bringing up the rear
This is where I think people assume something to suit !
Assumption is the mother of invention "
And not always invented correctly |
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By *arkb73Man
over a year ago
Cheshire/Staffs |
"Someone winks at you or sends you a message. You chat for a while, then they send a face pic and you're not attracted to them.
Were you leading them on by chatting to them?
Do you say you don't want to fuck them or do you just block them after they sent the face pic?
Surely there needs to be a mix of physical attraction and personality before you feel like having sex with someone.
Calhow are you going to get personality until you meet them though? "
Good point |
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