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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Three nuns die and are at the gates of heaven and St. Peter pops up and says "Before you enter heaven you must each answer one question correctly".
The first Nun was asked "Who was the first man on earth?" to which she replied "Adam" and was allowed into heaven.
The second Nun was asked "Who was the first woman on earth?" to which she replied "Eve" and was allowed into heaven.
The third Nun was asked "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?" to which she replied "Ohh! That's a hard one"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"2 old nuns on a park bench...
"It's a bit windy today "
"No no its not Wednesday I think its Thursday "
"Oooo me too let's have a cuppa"
 "
Jokes like this will not get you invites to meets or socials....
Imagine two with you SOH in a gangbang situation, NIGHTMARE!!! |
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2 nuns in a car which gets attacked by a bunch of yobs.
the first tries politely to ask them to leave the car alone, but they still persist, so the other nun says show them your rosaries.
she puts her rosaries up to the window to show she is a nun, but to no avail, so the 2nd nun says 'show them you are wearing a habit'
she tries to politely tell the boys the clothes she wears are given from god and are a uniform of the church, but again, her pleas fall on deaf ears.
exasperated the 2nd nun says, 'just show them your cross'
so the first nun winds the window down and shouts 'will you little bastards just fuck right off!!!!' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Three nuns die and are waiting at the pearly gates for St Peter to arrive and let them in.
He rocks up, calls the first nun over and asks her "Sister - before I let you in I must ask one question. Have you ever had bodily contact with a mans penis?"
The nun thinks - then confesses, "Well, when I was younger I did touch one once!"
"Go and wash your hand in the holy water and you may go in!" says St Peter.
All of a sudden the second nun breaks ranks and sprints towards the font of holy water.
"Sister - what's the rush?" says St Peter.
The second nun replies "Well if that's the entry policy - I need to have a good gargle before Sister Mary stuffs her arse in there!!"  |
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a nun sat on a bud and a punk rocker kept making lewd remarks about wanting to have sex with her, and he bet she has a great body under her habit.
dusgusted she exits the bus at the next stop. the punk went to follow her off when the driver stopped him and said 'listen, if you really want to have her, every tuesday she goes to the town cemetary where she prays at the big tombstone, for the spirit of the eternal lord to come and impregnate her with the 2nd coming. if you go up there, dress like a ghost and wait, im sure you will get what you want'
thanking him, the punk sits back down and gets off in town.
the following tuesday, he hides in the graveyard, covered with a white sheet, and lo and behold, around 10pm, the nun comes walking into the cemetary, up to the big tombstone and drops to her knees praying for the divine spirit to come and impregnate her.
giving her 20 mins, the punk pulls his sheet down and wofts out from behind the stone. 'i am the ghost of the eternal spirit and i have come to answer your prayers'
'oh thankyou my lord' says the nun, ' but you have got me at the wrong time of the month. you will have to do me up he bum if we are to do anything. will it still work?'
'yes it will' said the eternal lord, and they basically got down to having some pretty great anal sex over the tombstone.
after was all finished, and the nun was laid over the stone, the punk pulled off his sheet and screamed 'ha ha!! fuckin punk rocker!!
to which the nun pulled off her habit and screamed 'ah ha! fuckin bus driver! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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, as long as you don't get into the habit."
+ ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ +
Two nuns are walking down an alley at night. Two guys jump out and start raping them. The first nun looks to heaven and says, "Forgive them Father, for they know not what they're doing." The second nun looks up and says, "This one does!"
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im terrible lol 
