FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Emotional cossroads and Cults.....
Emotional cossroads and Cults.....
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So I was watching some shit on Netflix the other night about Cults and how they can be explained. I'm not looking to start my own cult dw, but how the mind works has always interested to me.... 
....so anyway it got me thinking about Fab in a similar way. Cults apparently require a bunch of ppl who are at an emotional crossroads and therefore looking for a new explanation of the world. These kind of ppl are apparently easily pleased and manipulated. I think Fab has a lot of folk like that, either guys at a certain age (like myself) and not wanting to buy a motorbike, or fresh out of divorce or an abusive relationship or enotiinal trauma or grief.
Is that something you keep in the back of your mind when communicating with ppl on Fab, that they might be fragile or vulnerable, or do you just crack on as you would in regular life?
I think there are probably a few in the forum who I should cut a little more slack and maybe give the benefit of doubt more often.....
Any thoughts? 
Please be nice |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So I was watching some shit on Netflix the other night about Cults and how they can be explained. I'm not looking to start my own cult dw, but how the mind works has always interested to me....
....so anyway it got me thinking about Fab in a similar way. Cults apparently require a bunch of ppl who are at an emotional crossroads and therefore looking for a new explanation of the world. These kind of ppl are apparently easily pleased and manipulated. I think Fab has a lot of folk like that, either guys at a certain age (like myself) and not wanting to buy a motorbike, or fresh out of divorce or an abusive relationship or enotiinal trauma or grief.
Is that something you keep in the back of your mind when communicating with ppl on Fab, that they might be fragile or vulnerable, or do you just crack on as you would in regular life?
I think there are probably a few in the forum who I should cut a little more slack and maybe give the benefit of doubt more often.....
Any thoughts?
Please be nice"
Emotional trauma* |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Are you happy playing with yourself Op  "
Yes thank you my lovely. That's an interesting subject too. I love my own company and I get really agitated if I have to spend more than a few days with the same ppl without some me time.... |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"What was the question 
Simplified, do you think about how vulnerable some fabbers might be when you communicate with them...?"
Yes I do that's why I'm always civil also if I know someone can't take it I won't respond |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What was the question
Simplified, do you think about how vulnerable some fabbers might be when you communicate with them...?
That’s better!
Yes I do x"
Good I'm a bit guilty of thinking everyone else is as hard as nails..... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What was the question
Simplified, do you think about how vulnerable some fabbers might be when you communicate with them...?
Yes I do that's why I'm always civil also if I know someone can't take it I won't respond"
But how do you know when that is? |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"What was the question
Simplified, do you think about how vulnerable some fabbers might be when you communicate with them...?
That’s better!
Yes I do x
Good I'm a bit guilty of thinking everyone else is as hard as nails....."
You can usually tell the if they can take it or not I also love humour some don't |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What was the question
Simplified, do you think about how vulnerable some fabbers might be when you communicate with them...?
That’s better!
Yes I do x
Good I'm a bit guilty of thinking everyone else is as hard as nails....."
I think people can be sensitive even if they don’t show it
I try to use intuition |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"What was the question
Simplified, do you think about how vulnerable some fabbers might be when you communicate with them...?
Yes I do that's why I'm always civil also if I know someone can't take it I won't respond
But how do you know when that is?"
oh I know I get that vibe I can tell |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What was the question
Simplified, do you think about how vulnerable some fabbers might be when you communicate with them...?
That’s better!
Yes I do x
Good I'm a bit guilty of thinking everyone else is as hard as nails.....
You can usually tell the if they can take it or not I also love humour some don't"
I think a few of the most vulnerable ppl here hide behind humour....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What was the question
Simplified, do you think about how vulnerable some fabbers might be when you communicate with them...?"
Honestly I dont.....
Then again I try not to be a dick to anyone vulnerable or not. |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"What was the question
Simplified, do you think about how vulnerable some fabbers might be when you communicate with them...?
That’s better!
Yes I do x
Good I'm a bit guilty of thinking everyone else is as hard as nails.....
You can usually tell the if they can take it or not I also love humour some don't
I think a few of the most vulnerable ppl here hide behind humour.... "
I meant people might not get my humour if I think a person is not feeling it I'll email them or them me its about communication |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What was the question
Simplified, do you think about how vulnerable some fabbers might be when you communicate with them...?
That’s better!
Yes I do x
Good I'm a bit guilty of thinking everyone else is as hard as nails.....
I think people can be sensitive even if they don’t show it
I try to use intuition "
In MY mind I'm ALWAYS sensitive but clearly I'm not. And a silly comment could push someone away or spark them into something harmful so idk..... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What was the question
Simplified, do you think about how vulnerable some fabbers might be when you communicate with them...?
Yes I do that's why I'm always civil also if I know someone can't take it I won't respond
But how do you know when that is?oh I know I get that vibe I can tell"
You are actually really perceptive and caring, one of the nicest here |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"What was the question
Simplified, do you think about how vulnerable some fabbers might be when you communicate with them...?
That’s better!
Yes I do x
Good I'm a bit guilty of thinking everyone else is as hard as nails.....
I think people can be sensitive even if they don’t show it
I try to use intuition
In MY mind I'm ALWAYS sensitive but clearly I'm not. And a silly comment could push someone away or spark them into something harmful so idk....."
So think before you type. |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"What was the question
Simplified, do you think about how vulnerable some fabbers might be when you communicate with them...?
Honestly I dont.....
Then again I try not to be a dick to anyone vulnerable or not."
Your sweet x |
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I'm always aware of others feelings, just seeing some of the other forum thread topics demonstrates how people have been impacted by things in their lives. I am probably guilty of just ignoring those with do you want to meet now etc. But if someone strings a sentence together I will always respond even if it's a no thank you. And I will not throw insults, even though I've been at the receiving end of some. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What was the question
Simplified, do you think about how vulnerable some fabbers might be when you communicate with them...?
Honestly I dont.....
Then again I try not to be a dick to anyone vulnerable or not."
Ditto and thats a good plan buddy, it just struck me that pretty much every fabber I've ever gotten to know is "broken " in some way or other. It's not like that with my real life friends..... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What was the question
Simplified, do you think about how vulnerable some fabbers might be when you communicate with them...?
That’s better!
Yes I do x
Good I'm a bit guilty of thinking everyone else is as hard as nails.....
I think people can be sensitive even if they don’t show it
I try to use intuition
In MY mind I'm ALWAYS sensitive but clearly I'm not. And a silly comment could push someone away or spark them into something harmful so idk.....
So think before you type."
I do, I probs should more.... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What was the question
Simplified, do you think about how vulnerable some fabbers might be when you communicate with them...?
Honestly I dont.....
Then again I try not to be a dick to anyone vulnerable or not.
Your sweet x"
Sweet of you to say so. I'm an arsehole too, everything in balance....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What was the question
Simplified, do you think about how vulnerable some fabbers might be when you communicate with them...?
Honestly I dont.....
Then again I try not to be a dick to anyone vulnerable or not.
Ditto and thats a good plan buddy, it just struck me that pretty much every fabber I've ever gotten to know is "broken " in some way or other. It's not like that with my real life friends....."
Your real life friends might be too....
Its alot easier sometimes to tell someone on a largely anonymous site that you are struggling or having some issues than it is people you have known all your life and have to see face to face.
Sometimes they are the ones who's mental health you can take for granted |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"What was the question
Simplified, do you think about how vulnerable some fabbers might be when you communicate with them...?
Honestly I dont.....
Then again I try not to be a dick to anyone vulnerable or not.
Your sweet x
Sweet of you to say so. I'm an arsehole too, everything in balance.... "
@ short shlong silver lol
Your adorable too Op xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm always aware of others feelings, just seeing some of the other forum thread topics demonstrates how people have been impacted by things in their lives. I am probably guilty of just ignoring those with do you want to meet now etc. But if someone strings a sentence together I will always respond even if it's a no thank you. And I will not throw insults, even though I've been at the receiving end of some. "
You're one of my new favourites, so kind and balanced aswell as stunningly gorgeous. Welsh can't do any wrong imho.... |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"What was the question
Simplified, do you think about how vulnerable some fabbers might be when you communicate with them...?
Yes I do that's why I'm always civil also if I know someone can't take it I won't respond
But how do you know when that is?oh I know I get that vibe I can tell
You are actually really perceptive and caring, one of the nicest here "
Thankyou x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What was the question
Simplified, do you think about how vulnerable some fabbers might be when you communicate with them...?
Honestly I dont.....
Then again I try not to be a dick to anyone vulnerable or not.
Your sweet x
Sweet of you to say so. I'm an arsehole too, everything in balance.... @ short shlong silver lol
Your adorable too Op xxx"
Ah its ok I am an arsehole too  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't feel part of a cult here. I feel like a single female who is able to make her own decisions whilst being aware of the inherent dangers and responsibilities.
My understanding of a cult involves people who are lacking or looking for something they perceive as missing in their lives, usually on an emotional level. There also needs to be a psychopathic manipulator (s) running the cult. As they are psychopathic or sociopathic, they are able to identify 'victims'easily. There also needs to be a deal of need on the part of the victim to remove themselves from everyday life and it's responsibilities, coupled with a desire by the leader for 'taking on' these problems. It's a deeply toxic situation which I don't feel Fab is. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What was the question
Simplified, do you think about how vulnerable some fabbers might be when you communicate with them...?
Honestly I dont.....
Then again I try not to be a dick to anyone vulnerable or not.
Ditto and thats a good plan buddy, it just struck me that pretty much every fabber I've ever gotten to know is "broken " in some way or other. It's not like that with my real life friends.....
Your real life friends might be too....
Its alot easier sometimes to tell someone on a largely anonymous site that you are struggling or having some issues than it is people you have known all your life and have to see face to face.
Sometimes they are the ones who's mental health you can take for granted"
Tru dat. I just haven't met a fabber who's not been emotionally destroyed at some point. And you do need to be careful how you deal with that and nurture it without ppl getting the wrong idea of your intentions..... |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"What was the question
Simplified, do you think about how vulnerable some fabbers might be when you communicate with them...?
Honestly I dont.....
Then again I try not to be a dick to anyone vulnerable or not.
Your sweet x
Sweet of you to say so. I'm an arsehole too, everything in balance.... @ short shlong silver lol
Your adorable too Op xxx
Ah its ok I am an arsehole too "
Ok |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don't feel part of a cult here. I feel like a single female who is able to make her own decisions whilst being aware of the inherent dangers and responsibilities.
My understanding of a cult involves people who are lacking or looking for something they perceive as missing in their lives, usually on an emotional level. There also needs to be a psychopathic manipulator (s) running the cult. As they are psychopathic or sociopathic, they are able to identify 'victims'easily. There also needs to be a deal of need on the part of the victim to remove themselves from everyday life and it's responsibilities, coupled with a desire by the leader for 'taking on' these problems. It's a deeply toxic situation which I don't feel Fab is. "
Thanks for your reply, I agree with the cult analysis, however I see a definite parallel with Fab. Many fabbers are definitely looking for an escape and lots are from broken backgrounds and easily led astray.... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What was the question
Simplified, do you think about how vulnerable some fabbers might be when you communicate with them...?
No I don’t "
You're a hard arse, but kinda lovely with it. You banter at Olympic standard! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What was the question
Simplified, do you think about how vulnerable some fabbers might be when you communicate with them...?
Honestly I dont.....
Then again I try not to be a dick to anyone vulnerable or not.
Your sweet x
Sweet of you to say so. I'm an arsehole too, everything in balance.... @ short shlong silver lol
Your adorable too Op xxx
Ah its ok I am an arsehole too "
With a name like that you can be anything you like on my thread |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"Are you happy playing with yourself Op
Yes thank you my lovely. That's an interesting subject too. I love my own company and I get really agitated if I have to spend more than a few days with the same ppl without some me time.... "
Spa day treat yourself |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Are you happy playing with yourself Op
Yes thank you my lovely. That's an interesting subject too. I love my own company and I get really agitated if I have to spend more than a few days with the same ppl without some me time....
Spa day treat yourself "
I'm happy staring into space thinking to myself. I sound proper mental now..... |
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I do think about how vulnerable some people are. The irony of how some people treat young single men whose vulnerability might display itself in obscure ways at a time when suicide and other mental health problems are at an all time high in that group is never lost on me.
We have threads imploring people to reach out but the ones that are listened to and treated with kindness are the ones that present a certain way.
It's way more difficult to be kind to vulnerable people who struggle to accept our help meekly and with gratitude but they need it just as much. |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"Are you happy playing with yourself Op
Yes thank you my lovely. That's an interesting subject too. I love my own company and I get really agitated if I have to spend more than a few days with the same ppl without some me time....
Spa day treat yourself
I'm happy staring into space thinking to myself. I sound proper mental now..... "
You don't x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I treat people the same here as everywhere, but am a lot politer on line tbh, everyone in life has shit going on at times "
I always found you really polite, and you put up with my nonsense online with only minimal sarcasm... I cant imagine you being mean irl? |
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Would there be a fee to join said cult....well it's just that I've inherited a large sum of money from my grannie and Im wondering what to do with it....if there was anyone who could help me find eternal happiness with endless amount of virgins who all live together...I think I could fit in .... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Would there be a fee to join said cult....well it's just that I've inherited a large sum of money from my grannie and Im wondering what to do with it....if there was anyone who could help me find eternal happiness with endless amount of virgins who all live together...I think I could fit in ...."
Take the weight off your feet, have you considered why we're all here and what purpose we serve....? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I do think about how vulnerable some people are. The irony of how some people treat young single men whose vulnerability might display itself in obscure ways at a time when suicide and other mental health problems are at an all time high in that group is never lost on me.
We have threads imploring people to reach out but the ones that are listened to and treated with kindness are the ones that present a certain way.
It's way more difficult to be kind to vulnerable people who struggle to accept our help meekly and with gratitude but they need it just as much."
Utterly agree. Its not popular to be kind to certain ppl but often they need it more than the most fabbed pics brigade....
We'd all benefit from being more inclusive |
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"Would there be a fee to join said cult....well it's just that I've inherited a large sum of money from my grannie and Im wondering what to do with it....if there was anyone who could help me find eternal happiness with endless amount of virgins who all live together...I think I could fit in ....
Take the weight off your feet, have you considered why we're all here and what purpose we serve....?"
Maybe I'm too fast to judge the stereotypical cult.... |
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"I do think about how vulnerable some people are. The irony of how some people treat young single men whose vulnerability might display itself in obscure ways at a time when suicide and other mental health problems are at an all time high in that group is never lost on me.
We have threads imploring people to reach out but the ones that are listened to and treated with kindness are the ones that present a certain way.
It's way more difficult to be kind to vulnerable people who struggle to accept our help meekly and with gratitude but they need it just as much.
Utterly agree. Its not popular to be kind to certain ppl but often they need it more than the most fabbed pics brigade....
We'd all benefit from being more inclusive "
We would. I have a friend who has terrible anxiety issues and is very vulnerable. I find it very hard to be kind to her, her anxiety makes it so difficult. Sometimes I avoid her because I just can't do it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Would there be a fee to join said cult....well it's just that I've inherited a large sum of money from my grannie and Im wondering what to do with it....if there was anyone who could help me find eternal happiness with endless amount of virgins who all live together...I think I could fit in ....
Take the weight off your feet, have you considered why we're all here and what purpose we serve....?
Maybe I'm too fast to judge the stereotypical cult.... "
Not when its offering tits and vag...... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I do think about how vulnerable some people are. The irony of how some people treat young single men whose vulnerability might display itself in obscure ways at a time when suicide and other mental health problems are at an all time high in that group is never lost on me.
We have threads imploring people to reach out but the ones that are listened to and treated with kindness are the ones that present a certain way.
It's way more difficult to be kind to vulnerable people who struggle to accept our help meekly and with gratitude but they need it just as much.
Utterly agree. Its not popular to be kind to certain ppl but often they need it more than the most fabbed pics brigade....
We'd all benefit from being more inclusive
We would. I have a friend who has terrible anxiety issues and is very vulnerable. I find it very hard to be kind to her, her anxiety makes it so difficult. Sometimes I avoid her because I just can't do it. "
Yeah, I have a friend with severe aspergers and he's an utter pain in the arse at times with his messages at all hours and anxiety but he's the most loyal friend you could ask for |
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"Would there be a fee to join said cult....well it's just that I've inherited a large sum of money from my grannie and Im wondering what to do with it....if there was anyone who could help me find eternal happiness with endless amount of virgins who all live together...I think I could fit in ....
Take the weight off your feet, have you considered why we're all here and what purpose we serve....?
Maybe I'm too fast to judge the stereotypical cult....
Not when its offering tits and vag...... "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What was the question
Simplified, do you think about how vulnerable some fabbers might be when you communicate with them...?
Honestly I dont.....
Then again I try not to be a dick to anyone vulnerable or not.
Ditto and thats a good plan buddy, it just struck me that pretty much every fabber I've ever gotten to know is "broken " in some way or other. It's not like that with my real life friends.....
Your real life friends might be too....
Its alot easier sometimes to tell someone on a largely anonymous site that you are struggling or having some issues than it is people you have known all your life and have to see face to face.
Sometimes they are the ones who's mental health you can take for granted
Tru dat. I just haven't met a fabber who's not been emotionally destroyed at some point. And you do need to be careful how you deal with that and nurture it without ppl getting the wrong idea of your intentions..... "
Good point. There are some people who will use the issues against the person in a negative way. |
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I think the basic minimum that we can show others in life is respect. I'm fairly sensitive and usually perceptive enough to pick up if someone is vulnerable. I'd take extra care of them, to help support them and ensure no harm was caused by me. We will all need extra support at various points in our lives and, thankfully in my opinion, most people want the best for others. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What was the question
Simplified, do you think about how vulnerable some fabbers might be when you communicate with them...?
Honestly I dont.....
Then again I try not to be a dick to anyone vulnerable or not.
Ditto and thats a good plan buddy, it just struck me that pretty much every fabber I've ever gotten to know is "broken " in some way or other. It's not like that with my real life friends.....
Your real life friends might be too....
Its alot easier sometimes to tell someone on a largely anonymous site that you are struggling or having some issues than it is people you have known all your life and have to see face to face.
Sometimes they are the ones who's mental health you can take for granted
Tru dat. I just haven't met a fabber who's not been emotionally destroyed at some point. And you do need to be careful how you deal with that and nurture it without ppl getting the wrong idea of your intentions.....
Good point. There are some people who will use the issues against the person in a negative way. "
That's very true. I think a lot of ppl can be quite good at hiding their problems too so it's sometimes hard to spot or pick up on them for what they are |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think the basic minimum that we can show others in life is respect. I'm fairly sensitive and usually perceptive enough to pick up if someone is vulnerable. I'd take extra care of them, to help support them and ensure no harm was caused by me. We will all need extra support at various points in our lives and, thankfully in my opinion, most people want the best for others. "
It'd be nice to think so, but I know I can certainly be very emotionally clumsy at times if I'm stretched or stressed elsewhere or in the wrong mood because of other circumstances that can cause person to lose perspective and focus |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
I chat for a good while before meeting. It’s impossible for vulnerabilities not to show through in that time. I try and treat folk with care, but certain personalities clash with mine so i’m probably not quite as understanding with them as i could be, at that particular moment.
But i do try. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I chat for a good while before meeting. It’s impossible for vulnerabilities not to show through in that time. I try and treat folk with care, but certain personalities clash with mine so i’m probably not quite as understanding with them as i could be, at that particular moment.
But i do try."
Yeah, I think sometimes ppl are just incompatible, and its important to recognize that rather than continue to clash horns |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I've had friends enter a "cult" wrapped up as something else, full on brainwashing
They lost everything they owned including house..
Fab for me is a million miles away from a cult!"
I hear what you're saying I just saw a parallel between the two. Vulnerable folk at crossroads. Most fabbers have something that brought them here other than just the horn.... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I found that most women I have meet socially are so vulnerable that I haven't done them in order to not feel guilty.
#youknowwhoyouare
XXX
"
I reckon YOU have a secret too my beautiful bearded friend |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I expect my profile puts many off but also some have contacted wanting to know more..I chat etc as I would anybody..don t consider anything other than having sexy or nice chat  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's nice to be nice.
When you are sat at the PC I always try to spare a thought for the mindset or indeed any trauma they may have in their life's. "
Good man |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I expect my profile puts many off but also some have contacted wanting to know more..I chat etc as I would anybody..don t consider anything other than having sexy or nice chat "
What I read of you gives me the impression that you've had some troubles but that you've overcome them to become very strong and unique. I'm in awe slightly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had this convo yesterday oddly enough.
I'm a between the line reader. I observe. I query.
My concern was those who make others feel like they're the only person in the world. Those who truly gush over others and make them feel genuinely special (who knows how long it's been since they felt that way, maybe months, maybe years, maybe never)
They meet a few times and now they really start to believe they mean something to the person, even though that person has stated NSA from the outset.
They then start to rely on that person a little too much and feel like absolute wank when they have a new special person and realise that they weren't that special after all, coz all the things they said to me they're now saying to that new shiny person over there.
It's easy to see how lines can get blurred and people hurt.
It's a tough one, coz people don't want to expose their vulnerability for fear of having it used against them, yet exposing it can help in avoiding those vulnerabilities being missed and wrong decisions being made.
At the end of the day we can only work with what we have in front of us, unless you're like me and take your time, observe, and learn what you can... but even then, we are only privy to so much. Asking questions can help if they're being answered with the truth.
*sigh*
If everyone was just honest and open the world would be a much easier and safer place to navigate.
P |
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By *rimtonMan
over a year ago
Bromley |
Of course it’s a cult, no?
You practice the lingo - (who says ‘let’s have a social’ in real life. Unlos/ VWE/GG). Terms the wider public need enlightening to understand.
You practice the behavioural rituals (messages, browsing in hidden mode, social, clean ups, fluffing and wtf is pegging, don’t tell me cos I don’t wanna know. Paying to get in a club is like contributing to the plate in church).
And - most do worship - either the big one, or the holiest of Holies |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I had this convo yesterday oddly enough.
I'm a between the line reader. I observe. I query.
My concern was those who make others feel like they're the only person in the world. Those who truly gush over others and make them feel genuinely special (who knows how long it's been since they felt that way, maybe months, maybe years, maybe never)
They meet a few times and now they really start to believe they mean something to the person, even though that person has stated NSA from the outset.
They then start to rely on that person a little too much and feel like absolute wank when they have a new special person and realise that they weren't that special after all, coz all the things they said to me they're now saying to that new shiny person over there.
It's easy to see how lines can get blurred and people hurt.
It's a tough one, coz people don't want to expose their vulnerability for fear of having it used against them, yet exposing it can help in avoiding those vulnerabilities being missed and wrong decisions being made.
At the end of the day we can only work with what we have in front of us, unless you're like me and take your time, observe, and learn what you can... but even then, we are only privy to so much. Asking questions can help if they're being answered with the truth.
*sigh*
If everyone was just honest and open the world would be a much easier and safer place to navigate.
P"
Wouldn't that be a wonderful world, but again even more open to abuse by just a single person who thought differently.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I had this convo yesterday oddly enough.
I'm a between the line reader. I observe. I query.
My concern was those who make others feel like they're the only person in the world. Those who truly gush over others and make them feel genuinely special (who knows how long it's been since they felt that way, maybe months, maybe years, maybe never)
They meet a few times and now they really start to believe they mean something to the person, even though that person has stated NSA from the outset.
They then start to rely on that person a little too much and feel like absolute wank when they have a new special person and realise that they weren't that special after all, coz all the things they said to me they're now saying to that new shiny person over there.
It's easy to see how lines can get blurred and people hurt.
It's a tough one, coz people don't want to expose their vulnerability for fear of having it used against them, yet exposing it can help in avoiding those vulnerabilities being missed and wrong decisions being made.
At the end of the day we can only work with what we have in front of us, unless you're like me and take your time, observe, and learn what you can... but even then, we are only privy to so much. Asking questions can help if they're being answered with the truth.
*sigh*
If everyone was just honest and open the world would be a much easier and safer place to navigate.
P"
Agree...hence my profile but I do understand when people hide their issues..as I found out..the modern world often says a lot but rarely actually acts on it I'm sorry to say |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Of course it’s a cult, no?
You practice the lingo - (who says ‘let’s have a social’ in real life. Unlos/ VWE/GG). Terms the wider public need enlightening to understand.
You practice the behavioural rituals (messages, browsing in hidden mode, social, clean ups, fluffing and wtf is pegging, don’t tell me cos I don’t wanna know. Paying to get in a club is like contributing to the plate in church).
And - most do worship - either the big one, or the holiest of Holies "
Well said, and I agree in many ways, maybe it's not dangerous in the traditional sense or gonna start a mass termination, but I think there are defo rituals and a lot of unnecessary fitting in and arse licking |
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"What was the question
Simplified, do you think about how vulnerable some fabbers might be when you communicate with them...?
Honestly I dont.....
Then again I try not to be a dick to anyone vulnerable or not.
Ditto and thats a good plan buddy, it just struck me that pretty much every fabber I've ever gotten to know is "broken " in some way or other. It's not like that with my real life friends....."
Oh that's actually quite sad that you've found that, which could start another thread does fab help or hinder mental health issues?
I've been really lucky with the people I've met through here and only suspected 1 or 2 as being 'vulnerable' |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What was the question
Simplified, do you think about how vulnerable some fabbers might be when you communicate with them...?
Honestly I dont.....
Then again I try not to be a dick to anyone vulnerable or not.
Ditto and thats a good plan buddy, it just struck me that pretty much every fabber I've ever gotten to know is "broken " in some way or other. It's not like that with my real life friends.....
Oh that's actually quite sad that you've found that, which could start another thread does fab help or hinder mental health issues?
I've been really lucky with the people I've met through here and only suspected 1 or 2 as being 'vulnerable' "
That's was a truly honest statement from me, I've not got close to many, but they've all been emotionally on the floor previously, maybe I attract that type, who knows? Even my current GF, who I met here two years ago is from a broken background of abuse and attack etc. I think ppl are definitely attracted here after a breakdown because it appears to be more in their control and they can switch off, but then I've seen them become addicted and then they CAN'T switch off, it's a bit sad.... |
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"Of course it’s a cult, no?
You practice the lingo - (who says ‘let’s have a social’ in real life. Unlos/ VWE/GG). Terms the wider public need enlightening to understand.
You practice the behavioural rituals (messages, browsing in hidden mode, social, clean ups, fluffing and wtf is pegging, don’t tell me cos I don’t wanna know. Paying to get in a club is like contributing to the plate in church).
And - most do worship - either the big one, or the holiest of Holies
Well said, and I agree in many ways, maybe it's not dangerous in the traditional sense or gonna start a mass termination, but I think there are defo rituals and a lot of unnecessary fitting in and arse licking "
Ive often wondered how people get involved in cults. I now know that they were probably tricked in to it , In the same way that I have been. Thought this was a swinging site & had no idea that i`d joined a cult. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Of course it’s a cult, no?
You practice the lingo - (who says ‘let’s have a social’ in real life. Unlos/ VWE/GG). Terms the wider public need enlightening to understand.
You practice the behavioural rituals (messages, browsing in hidden mode, social, clean ups, fluffing and wtf is pegging, don’t tell me cos I don’t wanna know. Paying to get in a club is like contributing to the plate in church).
And - most do worship - either the big one, or the holiest of Holies
Well said, and I agree in many ways, maybe it's not dangerous in the traditional sense or gonna start a mass termination, but I think there are defo rituals and a lot of unnecessary fitting in and arse licking
Ive often wondered how people get involved in cults. I now know that they were probably tricked in to it , In the same way that I have been. Thought this was a swinging site & had no idea that i`d joined a cult."
Its not a cult cult, I'm just referring to ppl's motivations for arriving here and saying there are some vulnerable folk around who maybe need some care...... |
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"Of course it’s a cult, no?
You practice the lingo - (who says ‘let’s have a social’ in real life. Unlos/ VWE/GG). Terms the wider public need enlightening to understand.
You practice the behavioural rituals (messages, browsing in hidden mode, social, clean ups, fluffing and wtf is pegging, don’t tell me cos I don’t wanna know. Paying to get in a club is like contributing to the plate in church).
And - most do worship - either the big one, or the holiest of Holies
Well said, and I agree in many ways, maybe it's not dangerous in the traditional sense or gonna start a mass termination, but I think there are defo rituals and a lot of unnecessary fitting in and arse licking
Ive often wondered how people get involved in cults. I now know that they were probably tricked in to it , In the same way that I have been. Thought this was a swinging site & had no idea that i`d joined a cult.
Its not a cult cult, I'm just referring to ppl's motivations for arriving here and saying there are some vulnerable folk around who maybe need some care......"
So its a culture really. We don`t know peoples stories when we interact on here & they don`t know ours. So I think it`s a fair point your making by raising awareness to the fact that some people are vulnerable & it`s hard to tell. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Of course it’s a cult, no?
You practice the lingo - (who says ‘let’s have a social’ in real life. Unlos/ VWE/GG). Terms the wider public need enlightening to understand.
You practice the behavioural rituals (messages, browsing in hidden mode, social, clean ups, fluffing and wtf is pegging, don’t tell me cos I don’t wanna know. Paying to get in a club is like contributing to the plate in church).
And - most do worship - either the big one, or the holiest of Holies
Well said, and I agree in many ways, maybe it's not dangerous in the traditional sense or gonna start a mass termination, but I think there are defo rituals and a lot of unnecessary fitting in and arse licking
Ive often wondered how people get involved in cults. I now know that they were probably tricked in to it , In the same way that I have been. Thought this was a swinging site & had no idea that i`d joined a cult.
Its not a cult cult, I'm just referring to ppl's motivations for arriving here and saying there are some vulnerable folk around who maybe need some care......
So its a culture really. We don`t know peoples stories when we interact on here & they don`t know ours. So I think it`s a fair point your making by raising awareness to the fact that some people are vulnerable & it`s hard to tell. "
Yeah, maybe ppl do need to be at a crossroads in order to form ANY new group or society. Gotta have some motivation for any change, right? I just think this place has a disproportionate number of slightly broken folk and it might pay to be more aware of that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What was the question
Simplified, do you think about how vulnerable some fabbers might be when you communicate with them...?
Honestly I dont.....
Then again I try not to be a dick to anyone vulnerable or not.
Ditto and thats a good plan buddy, it just struck me that pretty much every fabber I've ever gotten to know is "broken " in some way or other. It's not like that with my real life friends.....
Oh that's actually quite sad that you've found that, which could start another thread does fab help or hinder mental health issues?
I've been really lucky with the people I've met through here and only suspected 1 or 2 as being 'vulnerable' "
Helped me absolutely..on my dark days I could ask for a joke and I d get a huge pile throughout the day..I know it's a sex site but the people on here were just that...FAB |
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I don’t believe that Fab in anyway represents or nurtures cult tendencies. I do however, feel that for ‘some’ it can be a ‘crutch’ during times of emotional crisis - be that Divorce, break-up, Black Dog syndrome, want to be needed / need to be wanted etc ... scenarios.
Hopefully for most it’s just nsa fun they cope pretty well with. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don’t believe that Fab in anyway represents or nurtures cult tendencies. I do however, feel that for ‘some’ it can be a ‘crutch’ during times of emotional crisis - be that Divorce, break-up, Black Dog syndrome, want to be needed / need to be wanted etc ... scenarios.
Hopefully for most it’s just nsa fun they cope pretty well with. "
That's kinda what I was getting at, you summed it up in pll looking for a crutch and it's all too easy to kick their legs away or take advantage or even worse to ignore them when they're in need.... ....it's not everyone, but I think we should be aware |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What was the question
Simplified, do you think about how vulnerable some fabbers might be when you communicate with them...?
Honestly I dont.....
Then again I try not to be a dick to anyone vulnerable or not.
Ditto and thats a good plan buddy, it just struck me that pretty much every fabber I've ever gotten to know is "broken " in some way or other. It's not like that with my real life friends.....
Oh that's actually quite sad that you've found that, which could start another thread does fab help or hinder mental health issues?
I've been really lucky with the people I've met through here and only suspected 1 or 2 as being 'vulnerable'
Helped me absolutely..on my dark days I could ask for a joke and I d get a huge pile throughout the day..I know it's a sex site but the people on here were just that...FAB "
Aye, there are a few nice folk about on here |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"'Manipulated' Interesting..
Hopefully, if it makes pll think a little and question themselves....
*Cold face*
"
*sad face* *smiley face* *loveheart* Do you fancy me? coz I swear we both have each other on block. I thought that meant keep away? Maybe don't chase me anymore buddy..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"'Manipulated' Interesting..
Hopefully, if it makes pll think a little and question themselves....
*Cold face*
*sad face* *smiley face* *loveheart* Do you fancy me? coz I swear we both have each other on block. I thought that meant keep away? Maybe don't chase me anymore buddy....."
Fancy you? Odd thing to say. Check the timelines of when it was posted.
I stand by the LAST thing I said to you in the other thread.
Let's leave it be. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"'Manipulated' Interesting..
Hopefully, if it makes pll think a little and question themselves....
*Cold face*
*sad face* *smiley face* *loveheart* Do you fancy me? coz I swear we both have each other on block. I thought that meant keep away? Maybe don't chase me anymore buddy.....
Fancy you? Odd thing to say. Check the timelines of when it was posted.
I stand by the LAST thing I said to you in the other thread.
Let's leave it be. "
Ummm, you're blocked and have been for weeks, cease contact now please... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Shame to spoil what was intended to be a nice, thought provoking, considerate post about mental wellbeing on fab on a day when we're all trying to highlight it. Anyone else please feel free to continue |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What was the question
Simplified, do you think about how vulnerable some fabbers might be when you communicate with them...?
That’s better!
Yes I do x
Good I'm a bit guilty of thinking everyone else is as hard as nails.....
You can usually tell the if they can take it or not I also love humour some don't
I think a few of the most vulnerable ppl here hide behind humour.... "
That's very true |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I grew up in an cult and yes it messes with your mind and it does make you vulnerable and open to be hurt to some extent but my vulnerability is in the mind and anyone that knows me knows I have issues and I'm trying to deal with them.
My past has made me hard and I'm working on that.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What was the question
Simplified, do you think about how vulnerable some fabbers might be when you communicate with them...?
Honestly I dont.....
Then again I try not to be a dick to anyone vulnerable or not.
Ditto and thats a good plan buddy, it just struck me that pretty much every fabber I've ever gotten to know is "broken " in some way or other. It's not like that with my real life friends....."
I’ve noticed that with a lot of people on here too. Its totally different to real life in every way. Even the opinions and views on here. So often I find myself reading things and thinking fab really isn’t the place for you it won’t help at all.
Having said that I think it has made me more understanding of things and perhaps a little more tolerant and less judgemental. I do just see it as a laugh and a bit of fun on here though and not serious at all, I notice a lot of people don’t get my sense of humour on here also and take things very seriously. To me it’s just like a naughtier Facebook x |
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