FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Spanking

Spanking

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

When did spanking stop being sort of niche or a kink and become something that people assume everyone is into?

Spanking makes both of us giggle, even in private it just isn’t something we do. We don’t shame it as a kink, if it turns you on, go for it.

Do you think you should find out if it is someone’s thing before you say you would do it or try to do it?

Thanks - Mrs

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I think communication is key. Even if spanking is someone's thing, randomly whacking someone isn't acceptable.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I dont really feel that comfortable doing it. I am a big bloke and am worried i may hurt the lady x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I think communication is key. Even if spanking is someone's thing, randomly whacking someone isn't acceptable. "

That’s how I feel, just seems the assumption is there that everyone likes that and the rest of the current porn trends, we aren’t into any so feeling a bit fish out of water around here. Thanks - Mrs

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I dont really feel that comfortable doing it. I am a big bloke and am worried i may hurt the lady x"

I can understand that. And hope they respect that it makes you uncomfortable x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Usually, one woman i met more or less begged me to do it, i did it but was worried lol x

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

As Swing says - as with anything it's about discussing likes/dislikes and boundaries "before" getting naked and respecting them once you are - along with a level of awareness and listening to a partner during any play.

I enjoy spanking, both giving and receiving, but wouldn't dream of just doing it without first being happy someone was into it, likewise if anyone just started whacking me out of the blue without prior discussion I'd have something to say about it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"As Swing says - as with anything it's about discussing likes/dislikes and boundaries "before" getting naked and respecting them once you are - along with a level of awareness and listening to a partner during any play.

Thanks this is how I think about it and anything. I find a lot of assumption that kinks are shared and was feeling like I just had too many things on the “ no way” list. - Mrs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If asked i will do, although I'm as but awkward at it lol!! Never assume anything

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thanks this is how I think about it and anything. I find a lot of assumption that kinks are shared and was feeling like I just had too many things on the “ no way” list. - Mrs "

You should see my “no way” list!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I love being chained up and spanked or just bent over and spanked but I’d never dream of asking someone to do it that wasn’t comfortable with it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Life is full of chancres expecialy here they presume you will fuck them so no different they presume spanking so in the cards too its easy to say no or just ignore them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Life is full of chancres expecialy here they presume you will fuck them so no different they presume spanking so in the cards too its easy to say no or just ignore them. "

Yes it is easy to ignore but sometimes this or similar happens in person and it’s a bit trickier. I just wanted to know if it’s generally accepted that everyone wants to be spanked as it feels like that on here at times.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

You should see my “no way” list!!

Mine is huge and every day someone adds a bit of something to it. I won’t even share what was asked of me yesterday as it will put people off food for a month lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You should see my “no way” list!!

Mine is huge and every day someone adds a bit of something to it. I won’t even share what was asked of me yesterday as it will put people off food for a month lol "

Haha. I spend half the time on here thinking omg is that a thing!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You should see my “no way” list!!

Mine is huge and every day someone adds a bit of something to it. I won’t even share what was asked of me yesterday as it will put people off food for a month lol "

Well now you have to tell us lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Communication is very important when doing any form of impact play. I love, love, spanking.

The giver should always start of light to warm the skin up, it's spanking foreplay in my eyes, then always be aware of partners responses to increase the intensity.

Happy play, happy days.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I often give Mrs Cherry a hard slap when doing her doggy

(especially if shes been sucking someone elses cock

I'd never do it to anyone else though without asking.

I was in the couples room in a club once playing with someone elses wife and a woman sat next to us watching and slapped my ass really hard ... I didn't mind though as im a kinky sod

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

You should see my “no way” list!!

Mine is huge and every day someone adds a bit of something to it. I won’t even share what was asked of me yesterday as it will put people off food for a month lol

Well now you have to tell us lol"

He wants to line up my tampons and let them dry out and then smoke them. I’m not sure how it works

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You should see my “no way” list!!

Mine is huge and every day someone adds a bit of something to it. I won’t even share what was asked of me yesterday as it will put people off food for a month lol

Well now you have to tell us lol

He wants to line up my tampons and let them dry out and then smoke them. I’m not sure how it works

What the actual fuck!!! And these people walk amongst us

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

You should see my “no way” list!!

Mine is huge and every day someone adds a bit of something to it. I won’t even share what was asked of me yesterday as it will put people off food for a month lol

Haha. I spend half the time on here thinking omg is that a thing!!! "

I think it’s the assumption that gets me irritated. Some ask nicely and share their kinks and accept a no thank you but the others just think you want everything that porn says is sexy.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You should see my “no way” list!!

Mine is huge and every day someone adds a bit of something to it. I won’t even share what was asked of me yesterday as it will put people off food for a month lol

Haha. I spend half the time on here thinking omg is that a thing!!!

I think it’s the assumption that gets me irritated. Some ask nicely and share their kinks and accept a no thank you but the others just think you want everything that porn says is sexy.

True. I’ve heard that but I’ve been quite lucky really. Never had anything like that. Although I do tend to be one of those annoying people who chats for ages before I meet someone and pretty much know everything from where they were born to their inside leg measurement!

. Having said that if I met on our couples profile it would probably be a lot different and more spontaneous perhaps x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You should see my “no way” list!!

Mine is huge and every day someone adds a bit of something to it. I won’t even share what was asked of me yesterday as it will put people off food for a month lol

Well now you have to tell us lol

He wants to line up my tampons and let them dry out and then smoke them. I’m not sure how it works

Omg that’s disgusting lol.

Worse than the first message I got that only said will you shit in my mouth

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You should see my “no way” list!!

Mine is huge and every day someone adds a bit of something to it. I won’t even share what was asked of me yesterday as it will put people off food for a month lol

Well now you have to tell us lol

He wants to line up my tampons and let them dry out and then smoke them. I’m not sure how it works

Omg that’s disgusting lol.

Worse than the first message I got that only said will you shit in my mouth "

I’ve had some awful ones. Worst I think was will you deep throat to the point of puking up all over me and let me lick it up and kiss you!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You should see my “no way” list!!

Mine is huge and every day someone adds a bit of something to it. I won’t even share what was asked of me yesterday as it will put people off food for a month lol

Well now you have to tell us lol

He wants to line up my tampons and let them dry out and then smoke them. I’m not sure how it works

Omg that’s disgusting lol.

Worse than the first message I got that only said will you shit in my mouth

I’ve had some awful ones. Worst I think was will you deep throat to the point of puking up all over me and let me lick it up and kiss you! "

Eew

What is wrong with people lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

You should see my “no way” list!!

Mine is huge and every day someone adds a bit of something to it. I won’t even share what was asked of me yesterday as it will put people off food for a month lol

Well now you have to tell us lol

He wants to line up my tampons and let them dry out and then smoke them. I’m not sure how it works

Omg that’s disgusting lol.

Worse than the first message I got that only said will you shit in my mouth "

Seriously WTF? I understand different stroke for different folks but that’s really so different it should not be an opener!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Spanking is something I only tried for the first time this year and have never been spanked. I would never assume anyone has a kink without talking about it to them. My kinkiness has only developed in the last couple of years really, so I would expect a conversation about mutual interests beforehand or at least before any assumptions are made.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Spanking is something I only tried for the first time this year and have never been spanked. I would never assume anyone has a kink without talking about it to them. My kinkiness has only developed in the last couple of years really, so I would expect a conversation about mutual interests beforehand or at least before any assumptions are made."

A conversation. I have to have lots before anything like that happens. Then during and always after. It's soooo important for before and aftercare.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Depends how you define it too. I’m quite partial to a little slap with a hand but that’s all. Pink bum is fine red is not.

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Thanks this is how I think about it and anything. I find a lot of assumption that kinks are shared and was feeling like I just had too many things on the “ no way” list. - Mrs "

There's no such thing as having "too many" things on your "no way list" - it's your list and personal to you, so is as long or short as you want to make it - if others don't respect that list then they've given you a good filter

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would always think it's something that should be discussed first.

I love and need spanking but I know not everyone is able to give me that and have had partners that have refused and I'm cool with that.

My long term partner knows I need it. It's not even just as a sexual thing for me now. Sometimes I can just get really fidgity and know I need a spank to help me zone out.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Depends how you define it too. I’m quite partial to a little slap with a hand but that’s all. Pink bum is fine red is not. "

Yep pink bum’s are pretty, red are just sore

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Depends how you define it too. I’m quite partial to a little slap with a hand but that’s all. Pink bum is fine red is not.

Yep pink bum’s are pretty, red are just sore

Not sure id describe my bum as pretty no matter what state it was in

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"When did spanking stop being sort of niche or a kink and become something that people assume everyone is into?

Spanking makes both of us giggle, even in private it just isn’t something we do. We don’t shame it as a kink, if it turns you on, go for it.

Do you think you should find out if it is someone’s thing before you say you would do it or try to do it?

Thanks - Mrs "

People shouldn't assume anything in swinging - not just this!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Depends how you define it too. I’m quite partial to a little slap with a hand but that’s all. Pink bum is fine red is not.

Yep pink bum’s are pretty, red are just sore

Oh well I won't show you mine beyond that!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A conversation. I have to have lots before anything like that happens. Then during and always after. It's soooo important for before and aftercare."
I agree. As I’m new to it. I take it very slowly with lots of talking. As I would hope would happen when I’m on the receiving end too.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"When did spanking stop being sort of niche or a kink and become something that people assume everyone is into?

Spanking makes both of us giggle, even in private it just isn’t something we do. We don’t shame it as a kink, if it turns you on, go for it.

Do you think you should find out if it is someone’s thing before you say you would do it or try to do it?

Thanks - Mrs "

I definitely think people should find out if it's what you're in to. There are a couple of things I don't like that loads of people think are "normal" and everyone does, they tend to treat me as if I'm a bit peculiar.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Depends how you define it too. I’m quite partial to a little slap with a hand but that’s all. Pink bum is fine red is not.

Yep pink bum’s are pretty, red are just sore

Oh well I won't show you mine beyond that!!!

"
. I’m not sure how far I could actually go when it looks sore. I recognise some love it. I don’t know whether I could serve up the pain., if you understand what I mean.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Facial

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Depends how you define it too. I’m quite partial to a little slap with a hand but that’s all. Pink bum is fine red is not.

Yep pink bum’s are pretty, red are just sore

Not sure id describe my bum as pretty no matter what state it was in

"
Good job it's someone else looking at it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Depends how you define it too. I’m quite partial to a little slap with a hand but that’s all. Pink bum is fine red is not.

Yep pink bum’s are pretty, red are just sore

Oh well I won't show you mine beyond that!!!

. I’m not sure how far I could actually go when it looks sore. I recognise some love it. I don’t know whether I could serve up the pain., if you understand what I mean."

I couldn’t. I know it’s a thing and a lot do. Even if someone wanted me to I just couldn’t do pain. It’s definitely not for me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I love being chained up and spanked or just bent over and spanked but I’d never dream of asking someone to do it that wasn’t comfortable with it.

You do enjoy a good spank xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh I love a bit of spanking! And whipping ...the harder the better

Love seeing the marks on my arse

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

The other thing about spanking is there's a method to it - it's not simply giving someone a slap - it's about finding the right level and technique to an extent and a lot overlook that and when they do it can be painful in totally the wrong way.

Which is another reason it should be discussed beforehand to understand what works for the individual.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"The other thing about spanking is there's a method to it - it's not simply giving someone a slap - it's about finding the right level and technique to an extent and a lot overlook that and when they do it can be painful in totally the wrong way.

Which is another reason it should be discussed beforehand to understand what works for the individual."

Not many people understand that and think you just go in whacking away.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Which is another reason it should be discussed beforehand to understand what works for the individual."

I get that. I’ve developed my technique based on what I think I might enjoy. I can only find out if it works for a partner through their feedback.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I love being chained up and spanked or just bent over and spanked but I’d never dream of asking someone to do it that wasn’t comfortable with it.

You do enjoy a good spank xx"

I do indeed lol

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Which is another reason it should be discussed beforehand to understand what works for the individual.

I get that. I’ve developed my technique based on what I think I might enjoy. I can only find out if it works for a partner through their feedback."

Incredibly very few understand that.

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By *ensualMan over a year ago

Sutton

I remember when oral and anal where out there. Also sex with the lights on and sex other than in the missionary position was boundary pushing, let alone a woman having sex with other than one man and enjoying it!

The point I am making is society evolves and I don't blame porn as I suspect it reflects rather than leads.

Also I think kink shaming is not a good thing. In the kink world they say " your kink is not my kink but I respect your right to do it".

Although I do accept it is wrong to message random people and put your kink out there if your kink is unusual. Fab is probably not the place to mention unusual kinks.

As someone who has a few kinky interests,I think you have to choose carefully who you raise your interests with.

As usual I agree with Geminiman.

This thread reminds me of the thread where someone would go to meets with a flogger and introduce it without discussion. The key if you are doing kink is prior negotiation and discussing. Certainly consent should be obtained for ass slapping during sex.

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Which is another reason it should be discussed beforehand to understand what works for the individual.

I get that. I’ve developed my technique based on what I think I might enjoy. I can only find out if it works for a partner through their feedback.

Incredibly very few understand that. "

Exactly!! Done right it can be an incredibly intimate and pleasurable thing - done wrong on the other hand...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Which is another reason it should be discussed beforehand to understand what works for the individual.

I get that. I’ve developed my technique based on what I think I might enjoy. I can only find out if it works for a partner through their feedback.

Incredibly very few understand that. "
Sadly, I’m not surprised

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I remember when oral and anal where out there. Also sex with the lights on and sex other than in the missionary position was boundary pushing, let alone a woman having sex with other than one man and enjoying it!

The point I am making is society evolves and I don't blame porn as I suspect it reflects rather than leads.

Also I think kink shaming is not a good thing. In the kink world they say " your kink is not my kink but I respect your right to do it".

Although I do accept it is wrong to message random people and put your kink out there if your kink is unusual. Fab is probably not the place to mention unusual kinks.

As someone who has a few kinky interests,I think you have to choose carefully who you raise your interests with.

As usual I agree with Geminiman.

Maybe porn reflects current interest, it’s hard to say which leads, but certainly things like 50 shades have increased the interest in Bdsm and that is reflected, at least that’s how I see it.

I think everyone has things that may not appeal to others and shouldn’t be shamed.

The greater issue I was speaking of is that I find I am inundated with assumption and some of it has led to actually being physically hurt. I recognise that it is up to me to stop and correct someone but it’s a problem to assume that everyone is into pain, or spanking or rough handling. I think people assume others want to do things their way and don’t stop and think. As things become the new standard sometimes assumption features heavily. Even as simple as posting a photo of your bum and you get numerous messages about slapping it, spanking it or f*cking it, I think it is disrespectful to approach people that way even on forums and messages. Perhaps my view is narrow that I would prefer to be treated like a human being whose interests and preferences should be explored and not assumed based on what someone wants to do to me. - Mrs

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Which is another reason it should be discussed beforehand to understand what works for the individual.

I get that. I’ve developed my technique based on what I think I might enjoy. I can only find out if it works for a partner through their feedback.

Incredibly very few understand that. Sadly, I’m not surprised"

No, I don't know why I am really lol.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"When did spanking stop being sort of niche or a kink and become something that people assume everyone is into?

Spanking makes both of us giggle, even in private it just isn’t something we do. We don’t shame it as a kink, if it turns you on, go for it.

Do you think you should find out if it is someone’s thing before you say you would do it or try to do it?

Thanks - Mrs

Haha that’s where I am. Starting to feel like I’m peculiar that I don’t want to do certain things and wondering if I am the only one who doesn’t want to. - Mrs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I love being chained up and spanked or just bent over and spanked but I’d never dream of asking someone to do it that wasn’t comfortable with it.

You do enjoy a good spank xx

I do indeed lol"

Maybe I will bring my paddles crop and floggers next time xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I had a fwb who used to ask for a light spanking in certain positions. I was happy to oblige...

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I think the presumption and lack of communication hinders kink. I have my kinks... But those who want to bulldoze in make me hesitant to talk about it, hesitant to engage. Makes it harder to sort through people and find those who vaguely consider safety.

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

" Perhaps my view is narrow that I would prefer to be treated like a human being whose interests and preferences should be explored and not assumed based on what someone wants to do to me. - Mrs "

Your view is not narrow in the slightest - it is how it *should* be - sadly whilst one of the upsides of the internet, and indeed the modern age, is that sex and sexuality have become more open and people have through it been able to explore their kinks and come to the realisation that they are not "odd", the flip side is it has opened up those kinks and interests to all and "normalised" them to the point that *some* people think they are just part and parcel of sex, or as you say assumed based on what an individual wants to do.

On no level is that right and sadly apart from being very clear with someone before hand what you are NOT prepared to do, there is not a great deal you can do to stop it.

I *always* without fail discuss boundaries with anyone I am going to be meeting, not only to get mine across but more importantly to understand what a potential partners' may be so I can be sure not to cross them. Or if in a club environment and a coming together happens in the heat of the moment I always assume the lowest common denominator unless guided otherwise, and make sure I'm listening to a partner for signs of both discomfort and encouragement at all times.

Sadly many don't and dive in without that kind of discussion, and that is when problems can arise.

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Can I have a virtual stamp for "I agree with Gemini Man"?

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By *ensualMan over a year ago

Sutton

The point I am making is society evolves and I don't blame porn as I suspect it reflects rather than leads.

Also I think kink shaming is not a good thing. In the kink world they say " your kink is not my kink but I respect your right to do it".

Although I do accept it is wrong to message random people and put your kink out there if your kink is unusual. Fab is probably not the place to mention unusual kinks.

As someone who has a few kinky interests,I think you have to choose carefully who you raise your interests with.

As usual I agree with Geminiman.

Maybe porn reflects current interest, it’s hard to say which leads, but certainly things like 50 shades have increased the interest in Bdsm and that is reflected, at least that’s how I see it.

I think everyone has things that may not appeal to others and shouldn’t be shamed.

I think that rude correspondence is unacceptable. Your complaint is a common one made by women who put up pictures on websites, which is they receive rude objectifying messages. Not having read your messages I suspect those who send them see it more as Trump style locker room compliment rather than an actual desire to cause pain, without realising or caring the effect of their comments. I am not condoning but explaining.

In terms of 50SOG and porn anything that puts bdsm in the mainstream and reduces the stigma is good. With the popularity of anything that once was niche, you get a load of people who don't understand it or take what they want from it and leave out key elements.

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I can't tell the difference, in my inbox, between banter crude and risky, so both get the same treatment.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I love being chained up and spanked or just bent over and spanked but I’d never dream of asking someone to do it that wasn’t comfortable with it.

You do enjoy a good spank xx

I do indeed lol

Maybe I will bring my paddles crop and floggers next time xx"

I think you did well enough with the equipment we had to hand lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Yes I understand the messages and that the people don’t necessarily want to hurt me however, some do. Some think it’s acceptable and they take that same attitude into playrooms at clubs and direct chatting without bothering to check if people are on the same page.

I’m not talking about the messages that simply say “I want to bite that” nor am I complaining about being objectified. I am specifically talking about people assuming that everyone shares their kinks and opening with that, or taking it to play without making sure it’s ok.

I’m not shaming you. Spank away do whatever turns you on that’s legal and consenting and I won’t look down my nose at you. You’re not the issue, the issue is people who don’t check where the boundaries are OR who are told directly or subtly and ignore them anyway.

I agree stigma should be reduced, my issue is with the lack of respect and assumption. I don’t want to be spanked but I don’t want others to be shamed that they do.

For me, I laugh, I don’t laugh because I’m shaming , I laugh because my childhood consisted of regular “bare bottom” spankings as a means of punishment. We’d have to line up In our underpants and wait for our spankings for whatever we had done that day. It was frequent, it was abusive, it was painful and somehow also still funny as children. I don’t take anything from my childhood into my adult sex life. I’m fine it’s ancient history but I’m never going to see it as a turn on for me personally. I am unsure why Mr finds it funny, it’s probably because I roll away laughing.

I’m not laughing that people like it. Do the thing, have a good time. - Mrs

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By *ensualMan over a year ago

Sutton

"Can I have a virtual stamp for "I agree with Gemini Man"? "

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By *ylvie 888Woman over a year ago

Cleethorpes

I like a slap or 2 on my bum... followed by a nice smooth soothing stroke... mmmm

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By *hunky GentMan over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"I like a slap or 2 on my bum... followed by a nice smooth soothing stroke... mmmm"

And a nice kiss better?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I might have to readjust my profile. I put spanking on as my only like to scare off the less inquisitive.....

Makes me giggle too obv

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Which is another reason it should be discussed beforehand to understand what works for the individual.

I get that. I’ve developed my technique based on what I think I might enjoy. I can only find out if it works for a partner through their feedback.

Incredibly very few understand that.

Exactly!! Done right it can be an incredibly intimate and pleasurable thing - done wrong on the other hand..."

Totally agree with all of the above!

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Which is another reason it should be discussed beforehand to understand what works for the individual.

I get that. I’ve developed my technique based on what I think I might enjoy. I can only find out if it works for a partner through their feedback.

Incredibly very few understand that.

Exactly!! Done right it can be an incredibly intimate and pleasurable thing - done wrong on the other hand..."

We try to guage a person during our socials.

I understand the op though, doing something, anything a bit "out of the ordinary" actually without first finding out if it's ok is not what this is about and tends to put people off.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Which is another reason it should be discussed beforehand to understand what works for the individual.

I get that. I’ve developed my technique based on what I think I might enjoy. I can only find out if it works for a partner through their feedback.

Incredibly very few understand that.

Exactly!! Done right it can be an incredibly intimate and pleasurable thing - done wrong on the other hand...

We try to guage a person during our socials.

I understand the op though, doing something, anything a bit "out of the ordinary" actually without first finding out if it's ok is not what this is about and tends to put people off."

Yes that’s all I’m saying really, is where is the line between what is the accepted standard of playing and what goes beyond. At a club meet there’s not always the chance for discussion ahead and therefore it’s a bit risky. Do we have to give our list of never-Evers or should it be sort of kept standard unless asked ? And is spanking an accepted standard that automatically goes with play?

I want everyone to have their fun. I understand it’s not all about pain or hurting. I feel the same about degradation, many people love being called names as part of dirty talk but I think it’s something you should know is ok. Some things come with trust and discussion and if neither are established then erring on the side of caution just seems more respectful.

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

My personal line is, I play *very* vanilla unless it's been established that other things are acceptable. The common ground you should assume is minimal.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"My personal line is, I play *very* vanilla unless it's been established that other things are acceptable. The common ground you should assume is minimal. "

I think I will use that line. I often say our only kink is that we have sex with extra people but yours is better. Thanks

- Mrs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I love being chained up and spanked or just bent over and spanked but I’d never dream of asking someone to do it that wasn’t comfortable with it.

You do enjoy a good spank xx

I do indeed lol

Maybe I will bring my paddles crop and floggers next time xx

I think you did well enough with the equipment we had to hand lol"

Why thank you xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I love being chained up and spanked or just bent over and spanked but I’d never dream of asking someone to do it that wasn’t comfortable with it.

You do enjoy a good spank xx

I do indeed lol

Maybe I will bring my paddles crop and floggers next time xx

I think you did well enough with the equipment we had to hand lol

Why thank you xx"

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By *oney to the beeWoman over a year ago

Manchester

If you are not interested its easy just to say no.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"If you are not interested its easy just to say no."

And sometimes people just do things without asking, hence me wondering if it became so mainstream that I was weird for not wanting it.

Next time I have to tell someone no 3 times I will be sure to remember how easily no works.

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By *ensualMan over a year ago

Sutton

When I was single, I would always go to the club with my poi floggers and a couple of hanks of rope. These would remain in the locker. If I met someone I would mention that I am interested in kink and offer to top as well if they were interested. If they were interested I would run through my play checklist,experience, safe words, limits, injuries, any triggers, consent is reversible at any time, specific acts etc.

I have had occaisions where I have topped and not played. My favourite memory is at Abfabs where three ladies lined up and presented their arses for florentining. The point being if you don't ask you don't get. But it is how you raise matters. I like to use Dorian Gray's line in the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, "I am complicated"

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"If you are not interested its easy just to say no."

Which is a bit late if you've already been assaulted.

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By *izzymonkeyMan over a year ago

Hiding In A Bush

I'm not the best and keeping serious at the most important of times....I would struggle with spanking as I feel I would make it a joke....or think of it as a joke like with daft comedy overtone....

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By *xperimentalistMan over a year ago

East Yorkshire

R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me.

Sums it up in song for me!

A person has do and don't lists for their own personal reasons. If you can't respect those limits then you don't deserve to be invited to take part in anything. If you can't respect someone's wishes or take no for an answer then should you be here?

But those who need to read things like this won't unfortunately

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If you are not interested its easy just to say no."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If you are not interested its easy just to say no.

Which is a bit late if you've already been assaulted. "

Are you confusing sex play with abuse and assault there? My fab ex once spanked my arse after asking politely and me agreeing. It did nothing for me though....

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

If I do it so Hannah it's just a fun compliment about what a nice arse she has, just as it would be if I ever had the pleasure of getting my hands on yours, Mrs Cagey. It's not something we make a point of doing or spend much time on.

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By *aria_dreamgirlTV/TS over a year ago

stockport

Spanking can be fun

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By *ifty69Man over a year ago

north tyneside

Spanking is good sexy fun

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By *aria_dreamgirlTV/TS over a year ago

stockport

Any guys want to spank me?

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