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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe I am one of the lucky ones as its never bothered me. I have friends that get upset by having an absent father, whereas I've never really given it a second thought. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had 2 dad's, 1 natural, the other a step dad most of my life. Neither cared. And to be honest, it taught me what a good man is, purely because it was neither of them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Did you have to grow up without a father?
How has it affected you growing up, as an adult and in relationships? "
I grew up quite the opposite, I had an amazing dad absent mother. Had a fantastic life full of love. The only bad effect it had on me is I was about 19 before I developed a sense of style Haha. |
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Sadly mine passed away when I was 15. Effected me very badly. But with help with family, friends and councillors, I was able to grieve and be positive that I know he wants me happy and that he is watching down on me in times of need  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It may not count but.. my dad left when i was about 10 and had nothing to do with me until was in my early 30s and after ignoring my kids I refuse to have anything to do with him...
As a person it would of said it's made me more guarded to lots of thing's.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It may not count but.. my dad left when i was about 10 and had nothing to do with me until was in my early 30s and after ignoring my kids I refuse to have anything to do with him...
As a person it would of said it's made me more guarded to lots of thing's.
"
It does count |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Mine died when I was a baby so I do feel like I’ve missed out
Thats sad but im sure your dad wil be right beside you throughout your life even if you can not see him.x"
I wish I could see him right now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Grown up without a Father or a Mother or anybody! I have said my peace about this before, I didn't have a childhood.
I wasnt born till I was 10yrs old the time before that never happened. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Grown up without a Father or a Mother or anybody! I have said my peace about this before, I didn't have a childhood.
I wasnt born till I was 10yrs old the time before that never happened. "
Who looked after you? |
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I grew up without a father. I then found my father and lost my mother (temporarily as she abandoned me) then reconnected with her a lot later in life. Now lost her permanently.
I have a few residual issues and my past does define me in some respects. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mr- my dad worked away alot growing up, turns out he had a whole other relationship with another woman so he and my mam devorced, I cut him out of my life when my best friend killed himself in my teens and he made a few snide remarks, i tried reconnecting around 8 years ago but then found out about the other woman and that he used to beat my mother, told him to get out of my life or I would kill him |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I grew up the opposite. Absent mother. She was/is and alcoholic so it was better that way at the time. (I was 7). Being gay in 1990 was much harder than it is now, so alcohol was the crutch.
Thought I had it good growing up with my dad. Looking back he was a physically and mentally abusive c**t.
After getting back in contact with my mother properly in my early 20s, he would use that as a slight on him. Like I and my siblings had to be as bitter towards my mother as he is.
A trait my brother and sister took on.
My mum is all sorted now and is a huge part of mine and my kids lives. All without the booze.
My father is not. A horrendous human being who knocked 10 bells of shit out of us.
So the only thing I missed was a mother's guide. Although I've made sure that I won't be anything like my father, even tho I'm also a single dad bringing up 2 boys.
His shit will make me a better father.
Use the good times to shape your future, remember the parts too, they're just as important. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was brought up by my grandparents, dad still around ish and mother fucked off abroad when I was a baby , my grandparents were my world and I called my Nan ‘Mum’ and she is still causing havoc at the age of 89 , sadly my grandad dies 21 years ago and I was devastated, so I kind of had bothe parents but what I did miss out on was having a nan and grandad, the type who babysits you and you go to stay with and they give you far too many sweets lol ! X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I worry the other way, my kids are growing up without a mother. I do wonder sometimes how that will affect them later in life, if at all.
Does it really matter the other way? |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
My real dad was physically abusive to my mum and me, so seeing the back of him was only ever a good thing.
My mum met my step-dad at 9. They were together until he suddenly passed away in 2012 at the age of 59. We had a tumultuous relationship as he was bone idle and treated my mum like a skivvy which drove me potty, but then again she put up with it so.... and I always felt like an inconvenience/annoyance. However, he showed me what I didn’t want in a man, and how to deal with men who are right grumpy.
You live it, you learn from it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My father was there my whole young life but he never took any interest in his children, other than to dish out the odd, admittedly deserved, punishment. I have never mourned him. |
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Bit of both. Luckily not till I was 15 I lost him and he was an awesome dad. Losing him was hard for all of us, my mum and older brother were amazing. I also seen in very practicle terms what what losing the main bread winner does to a family financially. Its hard being a single parent household. I hate that he missed out on seeing at an age I was starting to do amazing things and seeing the man I became. I would have loved to him just to be around and share a beer with me, what me pass out or meet my amazing fiancee. Thinking about it cuts me up so much and makes me so angry still 20 years onwards. It still seems so unfair.
But the time I did have with him was so valuble. He taught me so much about life, he was a very wise man. Taught me to read between the lines, question everything and that our humanity is common despite boarders and flags. He taught me how to treat a woman and how to have respect for everyone. But he also taught me to be strong and stick up for the things and principles that feel right. Plus he's a big part of where all my dad jokes come from.
But it's also my children who benefit from having my dad in my life. Because I learn how to be a dad of him. And it's a good thing I learnt from the best because as the cookie crumbled I ended up a single dad. So my children benefit from my parenting role models. As to where my dad learnt how to be a great dad, I don't know because both his real dad and step dad were both no good (I only met my grandad on his side twice). But maybe considering he was an amazing dad despite having such a useless (and I think mainly absent) dad is a measure of how extra amazing my dad was. I just wish he could have been with us for longer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Bit of both. Luckily not till I was 15 I lost him and he was an awesome dad. Losing him was hard for all of us, my mum and older brother were amazing. I also seen in very practicle terms what what losing the main bread winner does to a family financially. Its hard being a single parent household. I hate that he missed out on seeing at an age I was starting to do amazing things and seeing the man I became. I would have loved to him just to be around and share a beer with me, what me pass out or meet my amazing fiancee. Thinking about it cuts me up so much and makes me so angry still 20 years onwards. It still seems so unfair.
But the time I did have with him was so valuble. He taught me so much about life, he was a very wise man. Taught me to read between the lines, question everything and that our humanity is common despite boarders and flags. He taught me how to treat a woman and how to have respect for everyone. But he also taught me to be strong and stick up for the things and principles that feel right. Plus he's a big part of where all my dad jokes come from.
But it's also my children who benefit from having my dad in my life. Because I learn how to be a dad of him. And it's a good thing I learnt from the best because as the cookie crumbled I ended up a single dad. So my children benefit from my parenting role models. As to where my dad learnt how to be a great dad, I don't know because both his real dad and step dad were both no good (I only met my grandad on his side twice). But maybe considering he was an amazing dad despite having such a useless (and I think mainly absent) dad is a measure of how extra amazing my dad was. I just wish he could have been with us for longer."
 that almost brought a tear. I’m sure he’s very proud of you x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My dad worked on oil rigs. I had a dad he was just distant.
Makes no difference to me, it’s a little weird when dad visits now. Like I don’t know how to say goodbye to him
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I grew up the opposite. Absent mother. She was/is and alcoholic so it was better that way at the time. (I was 7). Being gay in 1990 was much harder than it is now, so alcohol was the crutch.
Thought I had it good growing up with my dad. Looking back he was a physically and mentally abusive c**t.
After getting back in contact with my mother properly in my early 20s, he would use that as a slight on him. Like I and my siblings had to be as bitter towards my mother as he is.
A trait my brother and sister took on.
My mum is all sorted now and is a huge part of mine and my kids lives. All without the booze.
My father is not. A horrendous human being who knocked 10 bells of shit out of us.
So the only thing I missed was a mother's guide. Although I've made sure that I won't be anything like my father, even tho I'm also a single dad bringing up 2 boys.
His shit will make me a better father.
Use the good times to shape your future, remember the parts too, they're just as important. "
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I grew up with an alcoholic father who had no interest. I would have been better off if he wasnt there. Having kids of my own now he showed me what not to do and I'm determined not to be anything like him |
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