FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Reg's Vs Newbies.....

Reg's Vs Newbies.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Are long established forumites open enough to the newbies (that is,the newbies without tits

).....?

And no I am not a newbie and no this thread is not about me. I've been here forever and longer than most would realise.

I just think we all started somewhere, so why not give the new guys a break now and then, even if they fuck up?

Be nice to each other

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Everyone has been new at some point so I guess everyone had to suffer the same treatment whether it was negative or positive?

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By *hromosexualsCouple over a year ago

Near Abercynon

We are new. No drama here, I (Mr) really enjoy the forums.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Everyone has been new at some point so I guess everyone had to suffer the same treatment whether it was negative or positive?"

Do they have to suffer though? I mean why make life more difficult for the new guys on purpose? We might miss out on some great funny shit....?

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By *eliWoman over a year ago

I am. It depends on how they post really.

Yes, I'm more likely to feel comfortable making jokes with those I've established a friendship with but that's down to my jokes being a bit sarky and worrying about how it's interpreted. I'll be pleasant if they post something that interests me etc.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"We are new. No drama here, I (Mr) really enjoy the forums."

You have the luxury of a fabulous pair of tits on your profile

. I'm glad you're enjoying the site though

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I am. It depends on how they post really.

Everyone loves sarky

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Everyone has been new at some point so I guess everyone had to suffer the same treatment whether it was negative or positive?

Do they have to suffer though? I mean why make life more difficult for the new guys on purpose? We might miss out on some great funny shit....?

Because people are assholes sometimes subconsciously without realising it.

I speak from experience, quite often I said something without thinking twice to then had to later apologize.

I didn't mean to be rude and certainly wasn't thinking I was being rude at the time, but times and things change and you realise your mistakes.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Everyone has been new at some point so I guess everyone had to suffer the same treatment whether it was negative or positive?

Do they have to suffer though? I mean why make life more difficult for the new guys on purpose? We might miss out on some great funny shit....?

Because people are assholes sometimes subconsciously without realising it.

I speak from experience, quite often I said something without thinking twice to then had to later apologize.

I didn't mean to be rude and certainly wasn't thinking I was being rude at the time, but times and things change and you realise your mistakes."

Exactly!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It is very difficult to break through in the forum's. I am not a newbie yet still get over looked 90% of the time. I can say something which gets no reaction at all. 5mins later a 'popular' forum user can say the exact same thing and get loads of comments on it. So breaking through is very hard indeed for a single bloke

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By *hromosexualsCouple over a year ago

Near Abercynon

"We are new. No drama here, I (Mr) really enjoy the forums.

You have the luxury of a fabulous pair of tits on your profile

. I'm glad you're enjoying the site though

I’ve got quite a pair in real life too, and yes, hers are also great

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"It is very difficult to break through in the forum's. I am not a newbie yet still get over looked 90% of the time. I can say something which gets no reaction at all. 5mins later a 'popular' forum user can say the exact same thing and get loads of comments on it. So breaking through is very hard indeed for a single bloke"

Well I'm gonna look out for your posts now buddy. Keep it up

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By *eliWoman over a year ago

Ach that happened to me today, it's a bit crap isn't it? It is more difficult for a man on here I think. Newbie or not.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"We are new. No drama here, I (Mr) really enjoy the forums.

You have the luxury of a fabulous pair of tits on your profile

. I'm glad you're enjoying the site though

I’ve got quite a pair in real life too, and yes, hers are also great

Boobs are brilliant! My love is blessed with fantastic set

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By *ce WingerMan over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

I've been on fab for 14 years and the same shit happens to me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

At what point do you stop being a newbie? We’ve been here nearly a year but sometimes it feels like newbies !

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Ach that happened to me today, it's a bit crap isn't it? It is more difficult for a man on here I think. Newbie or not."

Yeah, I think a lot is about how much effort you put in too. Newbies maybe might not realise that some if the "popular" folk spend a great deal if their life on here and working in their fab reputation.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We are new. No drama here, I (Mr) really enjoy the forums.

You have the luxury of a fabulous pair of tits on your profile

. I'm glad you're enjoying the site though

I’ve got quite a pair in real life too, and yes, hers are also great

Boobs are brilliant! My love is blessed with fantastic set

Glad it’s still going well.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why its a right of passage i remember the days of multiple eye rolls from regulars when i began its how you remove the weak links and leave the awesome folks like me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've been on fab for 14 years and the same shit happens to me

Wait you're that rose guy, right?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"At what point do you stop being a newbie? We’ve been here nearly a year but sometimes it feels like newbies !"

You two are NOT newbies! You're sexy fuckers, I always look out for your comments

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By *xperimentalistMan over a year ago

East Yorkshire

I found the forums here really friendly and welcoming when I started using them.

I probably got a few things wrong at the start but who doesn't.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"We are new. No drama here, I (Mr) really enjoy the forums.

You have the luxury of a fabulous pair of tits on your profile

. I'm glad you're enjoying the site though

I’ve got quite a pair in real life too, and yes, hers are also great

Boobs are brilliant! My love is blessed with fantastic set

Glad it’s still going well. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We are new. No drama here, I (Mr) really enjoy the forums.

You have the luxury of a fabulous pair of tits on your profile

. I'm glad you're enjoying the site though

I’ve got quite a pair in real life too, and yes, hers are also great

Boobs are brilliant! My love is blessed with fantastic set

Glad it’s still going well.

Are you both still on here?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why do we need to be lumped together?

Some are welcoming, some aren't, some are indifferent.

Some newbies come in and make a good impression, some don't, the way people react to them isnt solely down to how long people have been here.

Rubi x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ach that happened to me today, it's a bit crap isn't it? It is more difficult for a man on here I think. Newbie or not."

Happened here too

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"At what point do you stop being a newbie? We’ve been here nearly a year but sometimes it feels like newbies !

You two are NOT newbies! You're sexy fuckers, I always look out for your comments

Oh stop

No don’t stop!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Why its a right of passage i remember the days of multiple eye rolls from regulars when i began its how you remove the weak links and leave the awesome folks like me

I see some utter shite from some regs, and ppl will suck up because of status rather than content. Whereas a newbie can go unheard with some amazing thoughts. That's my point, innit.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"At what point do you stop being a newbie? We’ve been here nearly a year but sometimes it feels like newbies !

You two are NOT newbies! You're sexy fuckers, I always look out for your comments

Oh stop

No don’t stop!!!

Faster?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why its a right of passage i remember the days of multiple eye rolls from regulars when i began its how you remove the weak links and leave the awesome folks like me

But no one gets your penis , you need a penis protector!

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By *aeganaWoman over a year ago

birmingham

Been here years and still treated like a newbie most times and ive got tits haha

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Ach that happened to me today, it's a bit crap isn't it? It is more difficult for a man on here I think. Newbie or not.

Happened here too

Not on my post! All welcome

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why its a right of passage i remember the days of multiple eye rolls from regulars when i began its how you remove the weak links and leave the awesome folks like me

I always get eyerolls and I ain't no newbie. I give myself eyerolls

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Are long established forumites open enough to the newbies (that is,the newbies without tits

).....?

And no I am not a newbie and no this thread is not about me. I've been here forever and longer than most would realise.

I just think we all started somewhere, so why not give the new guys a break now and then, even if they fuck up?

Be nice to each other

Bet they dont fuck up more than me.

Bet they fuck more than me though!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Been here years and still treated like a newbie most times and ive got tits haha"

And fabulous they are

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm amazing, have tits (albeit mini ones) a fanjo and the same thing still happens to me at times. Try not to sweat it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Not on my post! All welcome

it's alright. Rite of passage i suppose;-)...

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Are long established forumites open enough to the newbies (that is,the newbies without tits

).....?

And no I am not a newbie and no this thread is not about me. I've been here forever and longer than most would realise.

I just think we all started somewhere, so why not give the new guys a break now and then, even if they fuck up?

Be nice to each other

Bet they dont fuck up more than me.

Bet they fuck more than me though!

Hahaha, I've never seen you fuck up! Well, except that one time when you distracted me when all hell was kicking off on here.....

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By *ce WingerMan over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

I've been on fab for 14 years and the same shit happens to me

Wait you're that rose guy, right?"

Only on a Sunday morning

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By *eliWoman over a year ago

"Why its a right of passage i remember the days of multiple eye rolls from regulars when i began its how you remove the weak links and leave the awesome folks like me

I see some utter shite from some regs, and ppl will suck up because of status rather than content. Whereas a newbie can go unheard with some amazing thoughts. That's my point, innit.....

Everyone can go unheard though. If a newbie posts amazing thoughts I've seen in the past people comnenting on that post. I've seen regulars post amazing thoughts only to see it repeated by another. To echo Rubi I don't think it's a them vs us thing. It's a people thing.

Yeah, sometimes people are a bit shitty and not particularly friendly to a new poster (I've seen a few gleefully shredded) but on the whole I think that people are people and the onus lies on both sides to make the effort on here.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm amazing, have tits (albeit mini ones) a fanjo and the same thing still happens to me at times. Try not to sweat it

Who are you again?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Why its a right of passage i remember the days of multiple eye rolls from regulars when i began its how you remove the weak links and leave the awesome folks like me

I see some utter shite from some regs, and ppl will suck up because of status rather than content. Whereas a newbie can go unheard with some amazing thoughts. That's my point, innit.....

I'd agree with that

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I'm amazing, have tits (albeit mini ones) a fanjo and the same thing still happens to me at times. Try not to sweat it

I don't sweat, I glow

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Are long established forumites open enough to the newbies (that is,the newbies without tits

).....?

And no I am not a newbie and no this thread is not about me. I've been here forever and longer than most would realise.

I just think we all started somewhere, so why not give the new guys a break now and then, even if they fuck up?

Be nice to each other

Bet they dont fuck up more than me.

Bet they fuck more than me though!

That's only through choice ...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've been on fab for 14 years and the same shit happens to me

Wait you're that rose guy, right?

Only on a Sunday morning

Nvm you're the black clock guy, the rose guy is the doctor

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

its quite common for a new guy, especially if he's young and a bit naïve about what goes on, to be hounded off the site with his first forum thread.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I've been on fab for 14 years and the same shit happens to me

Wait you're that rose guy, right?

Only on a Sunday morning

Nvm you're the black clock guy, the rose guy is the doctor

Clock....?

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By *anana JoeMan over a year ago

Sheffield

"its quite common for a new guy, especially if he's young and a bit naïve about what goes on, to be hounded off the site with his first forum thread. "

Sadly thats true it has happened many times on here.

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By *aeganaWoman over a year ago

birmingham

"Been here years and still treated like a newbie most times and ive got tits haha

And fabulous they are

"
why ty

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm amazing, have tits (albeit mini ones) a fanjo and the same thing still happens to me at times. Try not to sweat it

Who are you again?"

Queen of Sheba with a foot long dildo

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"its quite common for a new guy, especially if he's young and a bit naïve about what goes on, to be hounded off the site with his first forum thread. "

Yeah its almost like some regs trap them into fulfilling their role as an ignorant newbie cock. I'd like to see more ppl ask a bit more rather than tell.....

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan over a year ago

salisbury

"Are long established forumites open enough to the newbies (that is,the newbies without tits

).....?

And no I am not a newbie and no this thread is not about me. I've been here forever and longer than most would realise.

I just think we all started somewhere, so why not give the new guys a break now and then, even if they fuck up?

Be nice to each other

Welcome to the forum

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm amazing, have tits (albeit mini ones) a fanjo and the same thing still happens to me at times. Try not to sweat it

Who are you again?

Queen of Sheba with a foot long dildo "

Foot long? Amateurs size, check this out

https://www.amazon.com/Moby-Dick-Foot-Extreme-Dildo/dp/B00VZBPJAE

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"its quite common for a new guy, especially if he's young and a bit naïve about what goes on, to be hounded off the site with his first forum thread. "

A bit like a new single females inbox!

Filters you poor thing, FILTEEEERRRRSSSS

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Been here years and still treated like a newbie most times and ive got tits haha

And fabulous they are

why ty

Yvw, don't be shy on the forum, it needs new blood

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have to say (as a newbie), I've sometimes found myself being blocked and I don't have the faintest idea why.I really do try to be respectful at all times. (I don't send dick pics, I've never even taken one!)

I appreciate that women in here get inundated with messages, but I don't see the need for blocking.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Are long established forumites open enough to the newbies (that is,the newbies without tits

).....?

And no I am not a newbie and no this thread is not about me. I've been here forever and longer than most would realise.

I just think we all started somewhere, so why not give the new guys a break now and then, even if they fuck up?

Be nice to each other

Welcome to the forum

Thanks, I've been here ages mind

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"I have to say (as a newbie), I've sometimes found myself being blocked and I don't have the faintest idea why.I really do try to be respectful at all times. (I don't send dick pics, I've never even taken one!)

I appreciate that women in here get inundated with messages, but I don't see the need for blocking."

people always block for a reason, even if its just to avoid you appearing in their searches.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I appreciate that women in here get inundated with messages, but I don't see the need for blocking."

Sometimes it’s necessary. I am often getting into back and forth messaging as being polite. Usually I have no interest in that person and in the end when I try to explain they still don’t get the message so blocking is the only option.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"Are long established forumites open enough to the newbies (that is,the newbies without tits

).....?

And no I am not a newbie and no this thread is not about me. I've been here forever and longer than most would realise.

I just think we all started somewhere, so why not give the new guys a break now and then, even if they fuck up?

Be nice to each other

Welcome to the forum

Thanks, I've been here ages mind

the beating hearts are giving you away

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I appreciate that women in here get inundated with messages, but I don't see the need for blocking."

Take it on the chin, keep smiling and be you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Isn’t this site for newbies and regs? What I’m basically saying is everyone should be treated the same, don’t we all, quote fuck up?

The thing is with some people on here they treat it more than a swingers site and take things a little bit personal.

I think people can be quick to jump on the bandwagon at times, specially the few on here who have there little “clicks” with one another.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Are long established forumites open enough to the newbies (that is,the newbies without tits

).....?

And no I am not a newbie and no this thread is not about me. I've been here forever and longer than most would realise.

I just think we all started somewhere, so why not give the new guys a break now and then, even if they fuck up?

Be nice to each other

Bet they dont fuck up more than me.

Bet they fuck more than me though!

That's only through choice ... "

Yeah mom ok. Its more through discernment

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By *hunky GentMan over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

I've only been on the site for about a month so I'm probably still classed as a newbie.

I enjoy the forums.

Yes, there's a few snobby people a a couple of trolls, but almost everyone seems to have accepted me with open arms.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Isn’t this site for newbies and regs? What I’m basically saying is everyone should be treated the same, don’t we all, quote fuck up?

The thing is with some people on here they treat it more than a swingers site and take things a little bit personal.

I think people can be quick to jump on the bandwagon at times, specially the few on here who have there little “clicks” with one another. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Isn’t this site for newbies and regs? What I’m basically saying is everyone should be treated the same, don’t we all, quote fuck up?

The thing is with some people on here they treat it more than a swingers site and take things a little bit personal.

I think people can be quick to jump on the bandwagon at times, specially the few on here who have there little “clicks” with one another. "

You've not been on the receiving end of vindictiveness yet then. Unfortunately it can happen and it can spill over into your personal life.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Are long established forumites open enough to the newbies (that is,the newbies without tits

).....?

And no I am not a newbie and no this thread is not about me. I've been here forever and longer than most would realise.

I just think we all started somewhere, so why not give the new guys a break now and then, even if they fuck up?

Be nice to each other

Bet they dont fuck up more than me.

Bet they fuck more than me though!

That's only through choice ...

Yeah mom ok. Its more through discernment

Why start using words like that for. Can't you see it's getting late

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I've only been on the site for about a month so I'm probably still classed as a newbie.

I enjoy the forums.

Yes, there's a few snobby people a a couple of trolls, but almost everyone seems to have accepted me with open arms. "

I can see why, you have a great approach, really friendly and unassuming with no obvious agenda. Keep it up buddy

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Isn’t this site for newbies and regs? What I’m basically saying is everyone should be treated the same, don’t we all, quote fuck up?

The thing is with some people on here they treat it more than a swingers site and take things a little bit personal.

I think people can be quick to jump on the bandwagon at times, specially the few on here who have there little “clicks” with one another.

You've not been on the receiving end of vindictiveness yet then. Unfortunately it can happen and it can spill over into your personal life.

That sounds dark

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Isn’t this site for newbies and regs? What I’m basically saying is everyone should be treated the same, don’t we all, quote fuck up?

The thing is with some people on here they treat it more than a swingers site and take things a little bit personal.

I think people can be quick to jump on the bandwagon at times, specially the few on here who have there little “clicks” with one another. "

Also, I can't treat you the same as I treat someone I've known for a while. I don't know you. If I call you a cunt (something you may have said could have given me a giggle) you may take it personally, if I call them a cunt they know I'm teasing and mean it endearingly

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Isn’t this site for newbies and regs? What I’m basically saying is everyone should be treated the same, don’t we all, quote fuck up?

The thing is with some people on here they treat it more than a swingers site and take things a little bit personal.

I think people can be quick to jump on the bandwagon at times, specially the few on here who have there little “clicks” with one another.

That's a very good point. Cunt is a tricky word, I always assume its meant affectionately when it's directed at me....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Isn’t this site for newbies and regs? What I’m basically saying is everyone should be treated the same, don’t we all, quote fuck up?

The thing is with some people on here they treat it more than a swingers site and take things a little bit personal.

I think people can be quick to jump on the bandwagon at times, specially the few on here who have there little “clicks” with one another.

You've not been on the receiving end of vindictiveness yet then. Unfortunately it can happen and it can spill over into your personal life.

Does that anything to do with a newbie or someone who’s on here on a regs and you’ve just never spoken before?

I wouldn’t let anyone get to me like that on here isn’t that what the block buttons for?

I can’t speak from your personal experience but to let it effect you the way you say you must of had some serious shit on here.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

First couple of weeks here I kept posting in the wrong threads and hijacked a couple of other peoples posts. 7 weeks in now and I'm giving advice to the nervous newbies about visiting a club for the first time!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"First couple of weeks here I kept posting in the wrong threads and hijacked a couple of other peoples posts. 7 weeks in now and I'm giving advice to the nervous newbies about visiting a club for the first time!

Good man, I like your posts

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Good man, I like your posts

People helped me as a newbie so it's only right I help others. Not a club virgin anymore so if any nervous guys want advice I'm more than ready to share my experience.

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By *wingfellowMan over a year ago

my own little sanctuary

Been on the forums just shy of three years now in total, didn’t take me long at all to settle and the same folk that included me then are the same folk I chat to today, a good proportion of which I have met here there and bleeding everywhere at some point. From socials to bumping into them at the club, I think most are pretty good folk although with such an array of personalities and styles of humour a lot of newbies could definitely lack the context or familiarity with their style initially but it pays dividends when you stick around and get to know peoples intricacies

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By *rotic-TouchTV/TS over a year ago

doncaster

"Isn’t this site for newbies and regs? What I’m basically saying is everyone should be treated the same, don’t we all, quote fuck up?

The thing is with some people on here they treat it more than a swingers site and take things a little bit personal.

I think people can be quick to jump on the bandwagon at times, specially the few on here who have there little “clicks” with one another. "
you have to remember that the forums are only representative of about 10% of site users so I wouldn't take what's said here as the norm

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Its all a game

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Isn’t this site for newbies and regs? What I’m basically saying is everyone should be treated the same, don’t we all, quote fuck up?

The thing is with some people on here they treat it more than a swingers site and take things a little bit personal.

I think people can be quick to jump on the bandwagon at times, specially the few on here who have there little “clicks” with one another. you have to remember that the forums are only representative of about 10% of site users so I wouldn't take what's said here as the norm

Absolutely! A very wise lady once told me "you have to remember that most forumites aren't having a lot of sex" the sexy fuckers are all out enjoying themselves....

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Been on the forums just shy of three years now in total, didn’t take me long at all to settle and the same folk that included me then are the same folk I chat to today, a good proportion of which I have met here there and bleeding everywhere at some point. From socials to bumping into them at the club, I think most are pretty good folk although with such an array of personalities and styles of humour a lot of newbies could definitely lack the context or familiarity with their style initially but it pays dividends when you stick around and get to know peoples intricacies "

Observation before participation is always a good idea. I think Regs could still be more understanding and be a little kinder rather than taking every opportunity for self promotion. If ppl drive out the newbies then complain the forums are dull or in a lull then they have themselves to blame imho......

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Good man, I like your posts

People helped me as a newbie so it's only right I help others. Not a club virgin anymore so if any nervous guys want advice I'm more than ready to share my experience."

Clubs scare the shit out of me lololol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *bsolutebeginnersCouple over a year ago

Planet Ork

Did someone say something?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Its all a game "

For some, yes. It's life (or death) for others, sadly.......

I think we should have an adopt a Reg thread where Newbies show the Reg's what a more inclusive forum would look like. Or a day when Regs are limited to one post and ten replies on others posts, self regulated to address the addiction issue, then maybe pppl wouldn't waste their words....

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Its all a game

For some, yes. It's life (or death) for others, sadly.......

I think I you are thinking way too much into all this.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Its all a game

For some, yes. It's life (or death) for others, sadly.......

I think I you are thinking way too much into all this. "

I think its best to stick to the original topic of this post my lovely, it has nothing to do with me or my thinking and lets face it nobody ever knows what someone else is thinking do they, except those ppl we pay money to with crystal balls and fancy cards and shiz....

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Its all a game

For some, yes. It's life (or death) for others, sadly.......

I think I you are thinking way too much into all this.

Rightio then...as you were.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Newbies out there, just take the plunge and start posting. There are people-people on the forum who will respond and welcome you and there the more cliquey personalities who won’t. Same as the real world. C’est la vie...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Newbies out there, just take the plunge and start posting. There are people-people on the forum who will respond and welcome you and there the more cliquey personalities who won’t. Same as the real world. C’est la vie..."

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"Why do we need to be lumped together?

Some are welcoming, some aren't, some are indifferent.

Some newbies come in and make a good impression, some don't, the way people react to them isnt solely down to how long people have been here.

Rubi x"

*This* ^ is the only answer that's needed really.

*Some* regulars can be arses, *some* newbies can be too - the *only* thing that matters is being respectful and considerate to *all* and there really doesn't need to be anything to distinguish between regular or newbie.

People get skipped over all the time - sometimes because it's a fast moving thread, sometimes because one person was maybe more eloquent than another, sometimes because one person has tits and the other doesn't - it happens in internet forums on any number of topics and shouldn't be taken to heart.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I need a run down of these secret cryptic emojis

. Feel like I'm using a Nokia 3310!!!!!!!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Why do we need to be lumped together?

Some are welcoming, some aren't, some are indifferent.

Some newbies come in and make a good impression, some don't, the way people react to them isnt solely down to how long people have been here.

Rubi x

*This* ^ is the only answer that's needed really.

Thanks for telling us all what we need

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why do we need to be lumped together?

Some are welcoming, some aren't, some are indifferent.

Some newbies come in and make a good impression, some don't, the way people react to them isnt solely down to how long people have been here.

Rubi x

*This* ^ is the only answer that's needed really.

Wise words as always.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I need a run down of these secret cryptic emojis

. Feel like I'm using a Nokia 3310!!!!!!!"

Yeah, I’d like a list too...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I need a run down of these secret cryptic emojis

. Feel like I'm using a Nokia 3310!!!!!!!"

I only know

and

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I need a run down of these secret cryptic emojis

. Feel like I'm using a Nokia 3310!!!!!!!

I only know

and

This is scandalous

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I need a run down of these secret cryptic emojis

. Feel like I'm using a Nokia 3310!!!!!!!

I only know

and

This is scandalous

I'll teach you my secrets, I'm generous like that:

= love in brackets

= vom in brackets

Yvw

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I need a run down of these secret cryptic emojis

. Feel like I'm using a Nokia 3310!!!!!!!

I only know

and

This is scandalous

% - ) ninja

@ : - ) santa

( luv ) wee heart eyes

( poppy ) poppy

( clover ) clover

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I need a run down of these secret cryptic emojis

. Feel like I'm using a Nokia 3310!!!!!!!

I only know

and

This is scandalous

I'll teach you my secrets, I'm generous like that:

= love in brackets

= vom in brackets

Yvw

Received. Noted. Appreciated!

There's a little ninja one, I need that one in my life.

These all need added to the emoji bar! Ain't nobody wanting to using brackets

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I need a run down of these secret cryptic emojis

. Feel like I'm using a Nokia 3310!!!!!!!

I only know

and

This is scandalous

% - ) ninja

@ : - ) santa

( luv ) wee heart eyes

( poppy ) poppy

( clover ) clover

Aww, thanks

* screenshot *

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I need a run down of these secret cryptic emojis

. Feel like I'm using a Nokia 3310!!!!!!!

I only know

and

This is scandalous

% - ) ninja

@ : - ) santa

( luv ) wee heart eyes

( poppy ) poppy

( clover ) clover

I would NEVER have guessed the ninja dude!!!

Gracias

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"Why do we need to be lumped together?

Some are welcoming, some aren't, some are indifferent.

Some newbies come in and make a good impression, some don't, the way people react to them isnt solely down to how long people have been here.

Rubi x

*This* ^ is the only answer that's needed really.

Wise words as always.

Thank you

Just make like Roy Walker suggests and say what I see

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I need a run down of these secret cryptic emojis

. Feel like I'm using a Nokia 3310!!!!!!!

I only know

and

This is scandalous

I'll teach you my secrets, I'm generous like that:

= love in brackets

= vom in brackets

Yvw

Received. Noted. Appreciated!

There's a little ninja one, I need that one in my life.

These all need added to the emoji bar! Ain't nobody wanting to using brackets

Pmsl, yeah, ain't nobody got time fo dat bracket shit......

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I need a run down of these secret cryptic emojis

. Feel like I'm using a Nokia 3310!!!!!!!

I only know

and

This is scandalous

% - ) ninja

@ : - ) santa

( luv ) wee heart eyes

( poppy ) poppy

( clover ) clover

I would NEVER have guessed the ninja dude!!!

Gracias

:' ( Crying

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I need a run down of these secret cryptic emojis

. Feel like I'm using a Nokia 3310!!!!!!!

I only know

and

This is scandalous

% - ) ninja

@ : - ) santa

( luv ) wee heart eyes

( poppy ) poppy

( clover ) clover

I would NEVER have guessed the ninja dude!!!

Gracias

:' ( Crying

( violin ) violin

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I need a run down of these secret cryptic emojis

. Feel like I'm using a Nokia 3310!!!!!!!

I only know

and

This is scandalous

% - ) ninja

@ : - ) santa

( luv ) wee heart eyes

( poppy ) poppy

( clover ) clover

I would NEVER have guessed the ninja dude!!!

Gracias

:' ( Crying

( violin ) violin

Never even knew this.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Why do we need to be lumped together?

Some are welcoming, some aren't, some are indifferent.

Some newbies come in and make a good impression, some don't, the way people react to them isnt solely down to how long people have been here.

Rubi x

*This* ^ is the only answer that's needed really.

Wise words as always.

Thank you

Just make like Roy Walker suggests and say what I see

Nobody gets skipped on my posts if I can help it and if I'm around online. I think it's a duty, like a thanks for contributing

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I need a run down of these secret cryptic emojis

. Feel like I'm using a Nokia 3310!!!!!!!

I only know

and

This is scandalous

% - ) ninja

@ : - ) santa

( luv ) wee heart eyes

( poppy ) poppy

( clover ) clover

I would NEVER have guessed the ninja dude!!!

Gracias

:' ( Crying

( violin ) violin

Never even knew this. "

Every days a school day

: - P

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I need a run down of these secret cryptic emojis

. Feel like I'm using a Nokia 3310!!!!!!!

I only know

and

This is scandalous

% - ) ninja

@ : - ) santa

( luv ) wee heart eyes

( poppy ) poppy

( clover ) clover

I would NEVER have guessed the ninja dude!!!

Gracias

:' ( Crying

( violin ) violin

Never even knew this.

Every days a school day

: - P"

And will be forgotten by me by tomorrow.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I need a run down of these secret cryptic emojis

. Feel like I'm using a Nokia 3310!!!!!!!

I only know

and

This is scandalous

% - ) ninja

@ : - ) santa

( luv ) wee heart eyes

( poppy ) poppy

( clover ) clover

I would NEVER have guessed the ninja dude!!!

Gracias

:' ( Crying

( violin ) violin

Never even knew this.

Every days a school day

: - P

And will be forgotten by me by tomorrow.

Yip, I've already forgot what I had for breakfast. My brain can't process this mountain of information

. This is a sick joke

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I need a run down of these secret cryptic emojis

. Feel like I'm using a Nokia 3310!!!!!!!

I only know

and

This is scandalous

% - ) ninja

@ : - ) santa

( luv ) wee heart eyes

( poppy ) poppy

( clover ) clover

I would NEVER have guessed the ninja dude!!!

Gracias

:' ( Crying

( violin ) violin

Never even knew this.

Every days a school day

: - P

And will be forgotten by me by tomorrow.

Yip, I've already forgot what I had for breakfast. My brain can't process this mountain of information

. This is a sick joke

Remind me what we are talking about again?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I post into the ether most of the time. It’s therapeutic. It’s a nice surprise every so often when someone interacts but most of the time it’s just casting my seed.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ssex_tomMan over a year ago

Chelmsford

I enjoy the forums, newbie or not, if I had to describe it I would use the following ..

Grammar Police

Humour

Support

Group Think

Laughter

Alpha Male talk

Sarcasm

Victimhood

Being offended

Being nice

Being kind

Being a prat

Being outraged

Being there for others

Blocking

Not blocking when deserved

Just a few

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I need a run down of these secret cryptic emojis

. Feel like I'm using a Nokia 3310!!!!!!!

I only know

and

This is scandalous

% - ) ninja

@ : - ) santa

( luv ) wee heart eyes

( poppy ) poppy

( clover ) clover

I would NEVER have guessed the ninja dude!!!

Gracias

:' ( Crying

( violin ) violin

Never even knew this.

Every days a school day

: - P

And will be forgotten by me by tomorrow.

Yip, I've already forgot what I had for breakfast. My brain can't process this mountain of information

. This is a sick joke

Remind me what we are talking about again?

I don't know

I've spent the last 10mins looking for my water bottle

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I need a run down of these secret cryptic emojis

. Feel like I'm using a Nokia 3310!!!!!!!

I only know

and

This is scandalous

% - ) ninja

@ : - ) santa

( luv ) wee heart eyes

( poppy ) poppy

( clover ) clover

I would NEVER have guessed the ninja dude!!!

Gracias

:' ( Crying

( violin ) violin

Never even knew this.

Every days a school day

: - P

And will be forgotten by me by tomorrow.

Yip, I've already forgot what I had for breakfast. My brain can't process this mountain of information

. This is a sick joke

Remind me what we are talking about again?

I don't know

I've spent the last 10mins looking for my water bottle

I’m still trying to work out how to pull the duvet back to go to the loo!! Ha. My legs won’t work either.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I enjoy the forums, newbie or not, if I had to describe it I would use the following ..

Grammar Police

Humour

Support

Group Think

Laughter

Alpha Male talk

Sarcasm

Victimhood

Being offended

Being nice

Being kind

Being a prat

Being outraged

Being there for others

Blocking

Not blocking when deserved

Just a few

So a mix of people acting in a mix of ways?

A bit like real life then?

Rubi x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I post into the ether most of the time. It’s therapeutic. It’s a nice surprise every so often when someone interacts but most of the time it’s just casting my seed."

I think often posts might not get replies but they still touch people, often the lurkers or quiet ones who are too shy to comment. I always liked your posts before but I haven't seen you around so much recently, keep posting buddy

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I need a run down of these secret cryptic emojis

. Feel like I'm using a Nokia 3310!!!!!!!

I only know

and

This is scandalous

% - ) ninja

@ : - ) santa

( luv ) wee heart eyes

( poppy ) poppy

( clover ) clover

I would NEVER have guessed the ninja dude!!!

Gracias

:' ( Crying

( violin ) violin

Never even knew this.

Every days a school day

: - P

And will be forgotten by me by tomorrow.

Yip, I've already forgot what I had for breakfast. My brain can't process this mountain of information

. This is a sick joke

Remind me what we are talking about again?

I don't know

I've spent the last 10mins looking for my water bottle

I’m still trying to work out how to pull the duvet back to go to the loo!! Ha. My legs won’t work either. "

Ohhh I've been there, I usually take the duvet with me. Or just roll out of bed, painful but gets me up

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’ve found the forums incredibly friendly, I don’t think it’s just the boobs. I think it’s hard for people who expect to get the same rapport immediately that others clearly have had years of building up. I also spend too much time in here, I don’t have a normal 9-5 job anymore and it gives me most of my social life lol . I’ve found people welcoming and the more they recognise you the more they interact. They’re not closed off to newbies, just eager to chat with their established friends. It’s impossible to acknowledge everyone and sometimes comments get overlooked. It can feel exclusive but if you think about a group of friends chatting in the pub, they may be nice if you go talk but they’re still going to have more to say to their pals they came with. With all the eyerolls and lovely sarky comments comes a lot of warmth and willingness to help others

- Mrs

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I post into the ether most of the time. It’s therapeutic. It’s a nice surprise every so often when someone interacts but most of the time it’s just casting my seed."

I always notice you!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I need a run down of these secret cryptic emojis

. Feel like I'm using a Nokia 3310!!!!!!!

I only know

and

This is scandalous

% - ) ninja

@ : - ) santa

( luv ) wee heart eyes

( poppy ) poppy

( clover ) clover

I would NEVER have guessed the ninja dude!!!

Gracias

:' ( Crying

( violin ) violin

Never even knew this.

Every days a school day

: - P

And will be forgotten by me by tomorrow.

Yip, I've already forgot what I had for breakfast. My brain can't process this mountain of information

. This is a sick joke

Remind me what we are talking about again?

I don't know

I've spent the last 10mins looking for my water bottle

I’m still trying to work out how to pull the duvet back to go to the loo!! Ha. My legs won’t work either.

Ohhh I've been there, I usually take the duvet with me. Or just roll out of bed, painful but gets me up

At least you don’t do it in the bed, that’s something.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I enjoy the forums, newbie or not, if I had to describe it I would use the following ..

Grammar Police

Humour

Support

Group Think

Laughter

Alpha Male talk

Sarcasm

Victimhood

Being offended

Being nice

Being kind

Being a prat

Being outraged

Being there for others

Blocking

Not blocking when deserved

Just a few

Haha, tru dat, you need different types to keep it interesting

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I need a run down of these secret cryptic emojis

. Feel like I'm using a Nokia 3310!!!!!!!

I only know

and

This is scandalous

% - ) ninja

@ : - ) santa

( luv ) wee heart eyes

( poppy ) poppy

( clover ) clover

I would NEVER have guessed the ninja dude!!!

Gracias

:' ( Crying

( violin ) violin

Never even knew this.

Every days a school day

: - P

And will be forgotten by me by tomorrow.

Yip, I've already forgot what I had for breakfast. My brain can't process this mountain of information

. This is a sick joke

Remind me what we are talking about again?

I don't know

I've spent the last 10mins looking for my water bottle

I’m still trying to work out how to pull the duvet back to go to the loo!! Ha. My legs won’t work either.

Ohhh I've been there, I usually take the duvet with me. Or just roll out of bed, painful but gets me up

At least you don’t do it in the bed, that’s something. "

Not for a good 6 months at least

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *tephanjMan over a year ago

Kettering

I'm not new also not a reg I do enjoy using forum and obviously everyone has there own opinions

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I’ve found the forums incredibly friendly, I don’t think it’s just the boobs. I think it’s hard for people who expect to get the same rapport immediately that others clearly have had years of building up. I also spend too much time in here, I don’t have a normal 9-5 job anymore and it gives me most of my social life lol . I’ve found people welcoming and the more they recognise you the more they interact. They’re not closed off to newbies, just eager to chat with their established friends. It’s impossible to acknowledge everyone and sometimes comments get overlooked. It can feel exclusive but if you think about a group of friends chatting in the pub, they may be nice if you go talk but they’re still going to have more to say to their pals they came with. With all the eyerolls and lovely sarky comments comes a lot of warmth and willingness to help others

- Mrs "

If you walked into pub with those boobs, you'd have no worries

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

*This* ^ is the only answer that's needed really.

All answers are valid and needed.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

*This* ^ is the only answer that's needed really.

All answers are valid and needed. "

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm not new also not a reg I do enjoy using forum and obviously everyone has there own opinions"

Welcome, not so newbie

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

- Mrs

If you walked into pub with those boobs, you'd have no worries

Haha thank you but I absolutely have been left out many many times in my life, maybe I should stop covering them in public!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *eliWoman over a year ago

*This* ^ is the only answer that's needed really.

All answers are valid and needed. "

Yes.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

- Mrs

If you walked into pub with those boobs, you'd have no worries

Haha thank you but I absolutely have been left out many many times in my life, maybe I should stop covering them in public!

Yeah, I know what you mean. But what I was really getting at with the post was that even if it was a pub, the group of friends just do that automatically and they don't necessarily realise they are excluding the new person and they also might be missing out on some opportunity for learning and growth. We all surround ourselves with comfort and familiarity on purpose because it's safe, but it's great to be challenged and to learn from different people. I've already met a couple of new ppl I'd never otherwise have spoken to from this post alone. One lovely lady messaged last night to say thanks and we had beautiful chat, with no agenda....

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

*This* ^ is the only answer that's needed really.

All answers are valid and needed. "

Of course, and my comment wasn't being dismissive of any other response, but essentially what Rubi said pretty much summed things up very neatly - it's not necessarily about "Newbies vs Regulars" but about everyone being respectful of each other and not about how long they have been here

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

- Mrs

If you walked into pub with those boobs, you'd have no worries

Haha thank you but I absolutely have been left out many many times in my life, maybe I should stop covering them in public!

Yes we are making the same point. People do start to notice new people and welcome them as things go along. I don’t think it’s just my boobs as sometimes they’re put away lol I end up in chats with many people and it’s lovely. On the back of the nice post I talked about architecture and doors and it was so lovely to chat about things I enjoy with no mention of sex or body! It’s lovely and I think the majority who may be seen as an exclusionary clique are welcoming once they notice you amongst their chatting friends.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I post into the ether most of the time. It’s therapeutic. It’s a nice surprise every so often when someone interacts but most of the time it’s just casting my seed.

I always notice you!

I think most people are noticed far more than they think. That’s why posting into the ether isn’t really that at all. The forum software doesn’t lend itself to easy interaction especially on mobile devices as the reply + quote is a ball ache to edit and people don’t usually acknowledge posts they like with a

because you can end up quoting chapter and verse.

Secondly most people don’t read every post in a thread and are often drawn to people they know, like or fancy and notice their posts more than others especially when the avatar is recognisable. So again it leads to a bias in who we respond to.

Finally we respond to people who respond to us, more than others that don’t so again that biases the interaction.

So people naturally think they are ignored, when in reality they aren’t.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

*This* ^ is the only answer that's needed really.

All answers are valid and needed.

Thanks for taking time to explain the intention. It came across more like a... proof that this post was needed.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Be nice to each other

No!

The forums would be boring if every comment was sugar coated. I tend to respond to the post not the poster, so seldom know if it's a new poster or a regular, until the reply is posted.

Though I do go through phases of 'not again' on common threads, like this one! But sometimes I still reply.

I think the deluge of messages those with tits receive until they either go hide, or learn to use filters, is far harder than those without tits not getting loved up on their forum posts.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I post into the ether most of the time. It’s therapeutic. It’s a nice surprise every so often when someone interacts but most of the time it’s just casting my seed.

I always notice you!

because you can end up quoting chapter and verse.

Finally we respond to people who respond to us, more than others that don’t so again that biases the interaction.

So people naturally think they are ignored, when in reality they aren’t."

That is very true. I’ve received a few messages before saying they liked what I said but didn’t have any interaction with me on the forums. I didn’t even know they had noticed me. People do take notice.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

*This* ^ is the only answer that's needed really.

All answers are valid and needed.

When you think I'm being a sarcastic twat, I don't mean that either. But ppl perceive what they see using their own mind. Text is a bitch because you'll only ever get you point across to 20% of ppl who read you, and in a forum, with unwritten rules and understandings then its even harder for a newbie. I reckon we should all go out of our way to make them welcome. They're funnier than most if us old sarcastic grinches.....

(It was a newbie who questioned you btw)

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Be nice to each other

No!

The forums would be boring if every comment was sugar coated. I tend to respond to the post not the poster, so seldom know if it's a new poster or a regular, until the reply is posted.

Though I do go through phases of 'not again' on common threads, like this one! But sometimes I still reply.

I think the deluge of messages those with tits receive until they either go hide, or learn to use filters, is far harder than those without tits not getting loved up on their forum posts.

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"I post into the ether most of the time. It’s therapeutic. It’s a nice surprise every so often when someone interacts but most of the time it’s just casting my seed.

I always notice you!

because you can end up quoting chapter and verse.

Finally we respond to people who respond to us, more than others that don’t so again that biases the interaction.

So people naturally think they are ignored, when in reality they aren’t."

All very good points bro - and the last one is particularly good - as threads like Saffron's rather lovely "It's Nice To Be Nice" one often show when you get messages from people you thought had no idea who you were, or you send a message to and they're genuinely surprised they have been noticed

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Of course, and my comment wasn't being dismissive of any other response, but essentially what Rubi said pretty much summed things up very neatly -

But only forum regulars know that Rubi is as mad as a box of frogs

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Of course, and my comment wasn't being dismissive of any other response, but essentially what Rubi said pretty much summed things up very neatly -

But only forum regulars know that Rubi is as mad as a box of frogs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I post into the ether most of the time. It’s therapeutic. It’s a nice surprise every so often when someone interacts but most of the time it’s just casting my seed.

I always notice you!

because you can end up quoting chapter and verse.

Finally we respond to people who respond to us, more than others that don’t so again that biases the interaction.

So people naturally think they are ignored, when in reality they aren’t.

Yep. We don’t interact much at all but I notice your posts a lot and like them

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I post into the ether most of the time. It’s therapeutic. It’s a nice surprise every so often when someone interacts but most of the time it’s just casting my seed.

I always notice you!

because you can end up quoting chapter and verse.

Finally we respond to people who respond to us, more than others that don’t so again that biases the interaction.

So people naturally think they are ignored, when in reality they aren’t.

Yep. We don’t interact much at all but I notice your posts a lot and like them

Same here. I probably notice more people that I don’t interact with tbh.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I post into the ether most of the time. It’s therapeutic. It’s a nice surprise every so often when someone interacts but most of the time it’s just casting my seed.

I always notice you!

because you can end up quoting chapter and verse.

Finally we respond to people who respond to us, more than others that don’t so again that biases the interaction.

So people naturally think they are ignored, when in reality they aren’t.

And your post is a typical example of what I mean. You could have interacted with many others but you chose to interact with mine for multiple sub-conscious reasons.

Saffron’s thread is a good example of threads that do break the ice, I agree..

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

*This* ^ is the only answer that's needed really.

All answers are valid and needed.

(It was a newbie who questioned you btw)"

Yes text and intent can be misconstrued but I don't think it's necessarily harder or easier for newbies or regulars in that respect - which is why I thought Rubi's post was particularly valid - that it's not about "Newbies vs Regulars" but a need for *all* to be respectful and considerate towards one another.

Like I said there are arses amongst the regulars and arses amongst the newbies too - in the meantime there are plenty (regulars and newbies alike) who just go about their forum business without fuss or ado and just get on with it and enjoy it for what it is.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I post into the ether most of the time. It’s therapeutic. It’s a nice surprise every so often when someone interacts but most of the time it’s just casting my seed.

I always notice you!

because you can end up quoting chapter and verse.

Finally we respond to people who respond to us, more than others that don’t so again that biases the interaction.

So people naturally think they are ignored, when in reality they aren’t.

Yep. We don’t interact much at all but I notice your posts a lot and like them

Same here. I probably notice more people that I don’t interact with tbh. "
Many more in my case. Although I do like to spread my interaction around when I’m in the mood

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

And your post is a typical example of what I mean. You could have interacted with many others but you chose to interact with mine for multiple sub-conscious reasons.

Saffron’s thread is a good example of threads that do break the ice, I agree.."

Nope I responded to your post because I agreed with your points plain and simple,and have responded to others that I don't know so well too - although I do get what you are saying

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

*This* ^ is the only answer that's needed really.

All answers are valid and needed.

Thanks for taking time to explain the intention. It came across more like a... proof that this post was needed. "

Not at all - there are some very valid points being made

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By *eliWoman over a year ago

"And your post is a typical example of what I mean. You could have interacted with many others but you chose to interact with mine for multiple sub-conscious reasons.

I do find this sort of thing really interesting, particularly in longer threads. Similar posts get very different responses depending on the poster. I do think that biases are natural on a site like this - I can name a handful of forumites that are truly inclusive and respectful to all (reg and newbie).

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Of course, and my comment wasn't being dismissive of any other response, but essentially what Rubi said pretty much summed things up very neatly -

But only forum regulars know that Rubi is as mad as a box of frogs

It's alright, it won't take long til the others catch on

Rubi x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

in the meantime there are plenty (regulars and newbies alike) who just go about their forum business without fuss or ado and just get on with it and enjoy it for what it is."

Questioning how things work can make people feel uncomfortable, I get it.

Im ok. Im enjoying for what is it.

Fuss is good. At least for a moment of reflection

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

*This* ^ is the only answer that's needed really.

All answers are valid and needed.

(It was a newbie who questioned you btw)

So you're saying the same thing as I am then? Give the newbies a break, because currently the clique of edrablished Reg's makes it harder for them to enter the forum? Equal rights etc.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

And can we stop promoting my ex's threads on mine please.....

(Unless someone fancies going to Saff's thread and sending pll here ....?

)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And your post is a typical example of what I mean. You could have interacted with many others but you chose to interact with mine for multiple sub-conscious reasons.

Yep. There are a few that really do go out of their way to be inclusive and respectful. I’d like to be more inclusive but don’t have the time, energy or inclination to change my habits

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

All ways happy to chat and say a cheery hello to new Forumites

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

in the meantime there are plenty (regulars and newbies alike) who just go about their forum business without fuss or ado and just get on with it and enjoy it for what it is.

Questioning how things work can make people feel uncomfortable, I get it.

Im ok. Im enjoying for what is it.

Fuss is good. At least for a moment of reflection "

Wise words my lovely , challenge is growth

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"All ways happy to chat and say a cheery hello to new Forumites

Hello

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And your post is a typical example of what I mean. You could have interacted with many others but you chose to interact with mine for multiple sub-conscious reasons.

It's natural of course. The more then I appreciate the effort

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And can we stop promoting my ex's threads on mine please.....

(Unless someone fancies going to Saff's thread and sending pll here ....?

I thought you two were still a couple. My bad. Oops.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And your post is a typical example of what I mean. You could have interacted with many others but you chose to interact with mine for multiple sub-conscious reasons.

I think it's an indication of real life though, I don't respond the same way to a stranger as a I do to my friends.

I wouldn't go out of my way to exclude someone but at the same time they need to make the effort to join in.

And yeah there is that whole thing about the style of posting and the unwritten rules but we have those in the real world too. Being accepted into a group means learning and adapting to the dynamics which is what we all do in everyday life. The people who tend to get a hard time as newbies are those who are a bit naive or crass or have strong opinions, those people would get the same reaction elsewhere so why expect fab forums to be different?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"And can we stop promoting my ex's threads on mine please.....

(Unless someone fancies going to Saff's thread and sending pll here ....?

)

I thought you two were still a couple. My bad. Oops.

Nooooo, split up months ago, I'm back with my ex ex, who is just wonderful

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

*This* ^ is the only answer that's needed really.

All answers are valid and needed.

(It was a newbie who questioned you btw)

So you're saying the same thing as I am then? Give the newbies a break, because currently the clique of edrablished Reg's makes it harder for them to enter the forum? Equal rights etc....."

No, I'm saying treat everyone equally and don't feel the need to distinguish between newbie or regular or make "be nice to a newbie" just because they are a newbie a "thing"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

And your post is a typical example of what I mean. You could have interacted with many others but you chose to interact with mine for multiple sub-conscious reasons.

Saffron’s thread is a good example of threads that do break the ice, I agree..

Nope I responded to your post because I agreed with your points plain and simple,and have responded to others that I don't know so well too - although I do get what you are saying "

I still say that you noticed my post more easily than you may have done others for reasons that are out of awareness at the time, however I may well be wrong.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

*This* ^ is the only answer that's needed really.

All answers are valid and needed.

(It was a newbie who questioned you btw)

So you're saying the same thing as I am then? Give the newbies a break, because currently the clique of edrablished Reg's makes it harder for them to enter the forum? Equal rights etc.....

No, I'm saying treat everyone equally and don't feel the need to distinguish between newbie or regular or make "be nice to a newbie" just because they are a newbie a "thing" "

Just be nice

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By *uxom redCouple over a year ago

Shrewsbury

I'm the female of the couple and most of my posts are overlooked, it's not about being male or female. It's just if your post is noticed or not ad some posts go quickly people miss things.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"And your post is a typical example of what I mean. You could have interacted with many others but you chose to interact with mine for multiple sub-conscious reasons.

I think it's an indication of real life though, I don't respond the same way to a stranger as a I do to my friends.

I wouldn't go out of my way to exclude someone but at the same time they need to make the effort to join in.

Wouldn't you ever change anything about the real world if you gave it sowm thought?

Just because it happens in the real world doesn't make it right, domestic abuse etc......

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And your post is a typical example of what I mean. You could have interacted with many others but you chose to interact with mine for multiple sub-conscious reasons.

I think it's an indication of real life though, I don't respond the same way to a stranger as a I do to my friends.

I wouldn't go out of my way to exclude someone but at the same time they need to make the effort to join in.

Wouldn't you ever change anything about the real world if you gave it sowm thought?

Just because it happens in the real world doesn't make it right, domestic abuse etc......"

That's a bit of a jump don't you think?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

*This* ^ is the only answer that's needed really.

All answers are valid and needed.

(It was a newbie who questioned you btw)

So you're saying the same thing as I am then? Give the newbies a break, because currently the clique of edrablished Reg's makes it harder for them to enter the forum? Equal rights etc.....

No, I'm saying treat everyone equally and don't feel the need to distinguish between newbie or regular or make "be nice to a newbie" just because they are a newbie a "thing" "

But you cant get past inequality without adjusting the balance. Otherwise the world would be run by white old men from long established families with triple barrelled names, no....? Yes be nice to everyone but for any kind of inclusive society you need to take positive steps imho

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By *bsolutebeginnersCouple over a year ago

Planet Ork

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By *thwalescplCouple over a year ago

brecon

"I need a run down of these secret cryptic emojis

. Feel like I'm using a Nokia 3310!!!!!!!

I only know

and

This is scandalous

I'll teach you my secrets, I'm generous like that:

= love in brackets

= vom in brackets

Yvw

https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/help/814611

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"And your post is a typical example of what I mean. You could have interacted with many others but you chose to interact with mine for multiple sub-conscious reasons.

I think it's an indication of real life though, I don't respond the same way to a stranger as a I do to my friends.

I wouldn't go out of my way to exclude someone but at the same time they need to make the effort to join in.

Wouldn't you ever change anything about the real world if you gave it sowm thought?

Just because it happens in the real world doesn't make it right, domestic abuse etc......

That's a bit of a jump don't you think?

Yes, but I'd equally change the situation in the pub where a new person walks in and sits in the corner and is ignored. It happens all the time but its not right and I'd want to change that....

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All ways happy to chat and say a cheery hello to new Forumites

Hello

"
hello dear chap

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By *eliWoman over a year ago

"And your post is a typical example of what I mean. You could have interacted with many others but you chose to interact with mine for multiple sub-conscious reasons.

I think it's an indication of real life though, I don't respond the same way to a stranger as a I do to my friends.

I wouldn't go out of my way to exclude someone but at the same time they need to make the effort to join in.

Wouldn't you ever change anything about the real world if you gave it sowm thought?

Just because it happens in the real world doesn't make it right, domestic abuse etc......

That's a bit of a jump don't you think?

Yes, but I'd equally change the situation in the pub where a new person walks in and sits in the corner and is ignored. It happens all the time but its not right and I'd want to change that....

You can do that then. Stop making digs at "regs" and start working on changing the status quo. Direct your energy to a positive place and you'll help change it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"And your post is a typical example of what I mean. You could have interacted with many others but you chose to interact with mine for multiple sub-conscious reasons.

I think it's an indication of real life though, I don't respond the same way to a stranger as a I do to my friends.

I wouldn't go out of my way to exclude someone but at the same time they need to make the effort to join in.

Wouldn't you ever change anything about the real world if you gave it sowm thought?

Just because it happens in the real world doesn't make it right, domestic abuse etc......

That's a bit of a jump don't you think?

Yes, but I'd equally change the situation in the pub where a new person walks in and sits in the corner and is ignored. It happens all the time but its not right and I'd want to change that....

You can do that then. Stop making digs at "regs" and start working on changing the status quo. Direct your energy to a positive place and you'll help change it."

I've not made any digs, it's ALL about perception. You're creating the self fulfilling prophecy here but defending someone who hasn't been hurt and doesn't need defending.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"And your post is a typical example of what I mean. You could have interacted with many others but you chose to interact with mine for multiple sub-conscious reasons.

I think it's an indication of real life though, I don't respond the same way to a stranger as a I do to my friends.

I wouldn't go out of my way to exclude someone but at the same time they need to make the effort to join in.

Wouldn't you ever change anything about the real world if you gave it sowm thought?

Just because it happens in the real world doesn't make it right, domestic abuse etc......

That's a bit of a jump don't you think?

Yes, but I'd equally change the situation in the pub where a new person walks in and sits in the corner and is ignored. It happens all the time but its not right and I'd want to change that....

You can do that then. Stop making digs at "regs" and start working on changing the status quo. Direct your energy to a positive place and you'll help change it.

I've not made any digs, it's ALL about perception. You're creating the self fulfilling prophecy here but defending someone who hasn't been hurt and doesn't need defending.....

By*

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And your post is a typical example of what I mean. You could have interacted with many others but you chose to interact with mine for multiple sub-conscious reasons.

I think it's an indication of real life though, I don't respond the same way to a stranger as a I do to my friends.

I wouldn't go out of my way to exclude someone but at the same time they need to make the effort to join in.

Wouldn't you ever change anything about the real world if you gave it sowm thought?

Just because it happens in the real world doesn't make it right, domestic abuse etc......

That's a bit of a jump don't you think?

Yes, but I'd equally change the situation in the pub where a new person walks in and sits in the corner and is ignored. It happens all the time but its not right and I'd want to change that....

You can do that then. Stop making digs at "regs" and start working on changing the status quo. Direct your energy to a positive place and you'll help change it."

I would class you as a regular OP, are you putting yourself in the same category as all us regulars who aren’t nice?

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

in the meantime there are plenty (regulars and newbies alike) who just go about their forum business without fuss or ado and just get on with it and enjoy it for what it is.

Questioning how things work can make people feel uncomfortable, I get it.

Im ok. Im enjoying for what is it.

Fuss is good. At least for a moment of reflection "

Oh nothing at all wrong with reflection or questioning how things work at all and this has certainly been an interesting thread in that respect - I'm just not personally sure there is that big a "thing" when it comes to "newbies vs regulars" - yes undoubtedly *some* newbies are given a hard time or take time to establish themselves, and *some* regulars are very stand offish towards them, but the majority of users (newbies and regulars) come and go, join in and interact and find their own way without the need to be singled out for special treatment because of their longevity (or not) on the site.

I think Rubi makes a very valid point about it being no different to normal real life interaction also - we mostly engage more readily with people we know than those we don't and here is no different.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes, but I'd equally change the situation in the pub where a new person walks in and sits in the corner and is ignored. It happens all the time but its not right and I'd want to change that....

But how do you know they want to be included? Maybe they're happy sitting alone? Unless they make an effort to say hi would you really just leave your friends to walk up to a stranger and start talking?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't know who the newbies are. Don't know if they have returned with a new profile or brand new. I just respond to what's said.

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

So you're saying the same thing as I am then? Give the newbies a break, because currently the clique of edrablished Reg's makes it harder for them to enter the forum? Equal rights etc.....

No, I'm saying treat everyone equally and don't feel the need to distinguish between newbie or regular or make "be nice to a newbie" just because they are a newbie a "thing" "

You're making the assumption that there is inequality in the first place - and I personally don't think for the most part there is - people come and go, the site is very cyclical and today's regulars are yesterdays newbies - for most they just go about their forum business, join in and interact how they want without fuss or ado or the need for special consideration for how long they have been here - I know I did when I first started and still do.

Like I said there are *some* that are arses on both sides of the equation but I don't think enough for special consideration or a need for anything to change for the most part - yes if someone is being an arse by all means tell them, again regardless of their longevity but I personally don't think a blanket coverage sea change is necessary either.

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