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Paying for it?
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No never paid for it and never will.
I use hotels for meets and all costs are split equally between the two of us, is that paying for sex ? Personally I don’t think so, but some may think otherwise |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do we all pay one way or another ? I dont feel too articulate this am, but yes i guess in some way we do 'pay the price' of any connection along the way. If that's what you meant.. or am i overthinking? |
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"Do we all pay one way or another ? I dont feel too articulate this am, but yes i guess in some way we do 'pay the price' of any connection along the way. If that's what you meant.. or am i overthinking? "
It is kind of how I interpreted it also.
Paying ostensibly means monetary exchange I guess, but as others have said, there's the time, emotional and logistical cost of meets and sexual activity. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sex that is.
Would you?
Have you?
Do we all pay one way or another?"
No
No
We all pay one way or another, as you do with everything in life "nothing is for free". It is whether the ultimate return was worth the price. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes we have and yes we do and yes we will again. Often. Really we cannot sing enough praises. No judgement no lies no trickery. Just a good time given by someone that knows how to give a good time. |
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I'm happy to pay expenses, fuel cost, travel, time, maybe buy something new to wear, share a hotel
But I'd never pay directly for sex, or receive an actual payment.
I only fuck people I like, no amount of money could tempt me to do it with someone I wasn't attracted to |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
It's an interesting question regarding 'paying in some way'. Yes, I guess you could say that we all do in some form or other however, anyone who breaks down human interaction into a monetary value is inherently not the kind of person that I'd want to be associating with.
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Paying for the act
Paying for someone’s time
Paying for a hotel so can have sex there,
Some can say, there’s little difference if a guy has paid for hotel to have sex with a person who would not usually be able too..
Each there own
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No. And whenever I’ve met anyone I’ve always split any costs. Even if they were a billionaire I still would insist. I wouldn’t feel comfortable otherwise. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"It's an interesting question regarding 'paying in some way'. Yes, I guess you could say that we all do in some form or other however, anyone who breaks down human interaction into a monetary value is inherently not the kind of person that I'd want to be associating with.
"
 |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
I've never directly paid in terms of a business transaction with a prostitute and personally never could - it would take an emotive act and make it very cold and clinical for me.
That said I almost did once when I was late teens, early twenties, streets of Soho, was "approached" and got as far as her apartment door before my senses kicked in and I made my excuses and left.
I won't knock anyone that does buy or sell sex though - I actually support legalising it if it makes it regulated and safe for all concerned.
As for "paying" for things like hotels etc - as others have said that cost is always split and I don't see it as paying for sex at all - more paying for the convenience of somewhere to meet a likeminded person I have a connection with, no different to paying the entry to a nightclub or whatever that may have led to sex with someone you meet there.
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I watched Japan with Sue Perkins last night. People pay for actors to be their family, due to how Japanese society is and the work culture loneliness is a huge problem and people are making a business from providing an answer to that. I think it's a good idea and I think paying for sex is too as long as you realise that the person you pay deserves no less respect than you do |
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"Once cost me a night in a nice hotel, dinner for two and a bottle of Jean Paul Gaultier Scandal. But she was well worth it  "
I'm not criticising you at all but did you buy that stuff for her to get sex? |
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"No never paid for it and never will.
I use hotels for meets and all costs are split equally between the two of us, is that paying for sex ? Personally I don’t think so, but some may think otherwise "
I agree.
I don't think that splitting costs is paying for sex any more then splitting the costs of a meal. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No never paid for it and never will.
I use hotels for meets and all costs are split equally between the two of us, is that paying for sex ? Personally I don’t think so, but some may think otherwise
I agree.
I don't think that splitting costs is paying for sex any more then splitting the costs of a meal. "
This
Interesting the way that posts develop, but there is more than financial direct or indirect payment/cost. The price many may ultimately pay for sex. Think that was the spirit of the OP last comment
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
It is kind of how I interpreted it also.
Paying ostensibly means monetary exchange I guess, but as others have said, there's the time, emotional and logistical cost of meets and sexual activity. "
There is.. some element of 'calculation' to those too - time and emotions. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Once cost me a night in a nice hotel, dinner for two and a bottle of Jean Paul Gaultier Scandal. But she was well worth it
I'm not criticising you at all but did you buy that stuff for her to get sex? "
I thought someone would ask this. Tbh I was hoping for a night of long hot sex so I booked the nice hotel, meal and bought the gift to impress. Although she really appreciated it all and enjoyed it all, she later told me I didn't need to go to all that trouble to impress her, but didn't mind one bit |
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"Once cost me a night in a nice hotel, dinner for two and a bottle of Jean Paul Gaultier Scandal. But she was well worth it
I'm not criticising you at all but did you buy that stuff for her to get sex?
I thought someone would ask this. Tbh I was hoping for a night of long hot sex so I booked the nice hotel, meal and bought the gift to impress. Although she really appreciated it all and enjoyed it all, she later told me I didn't need to go to all that trouble to impress her, but didn't mind one bit"
Yes, I understand the dynamic and find it interesting. I suppose it's the old idea that women need "persuasion" to agree to sex. You both had a good time so all's good  |
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Neither of us have an issue with paying a professional for such a service. We don't like the stigma that goes with it and we think that sex workers should be given much more respect than they get.
I was married for 13 years and therefore paid heavily for sex. That's a flippant comment about my marriage, not a general statement. |
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"I watched Japan with Sue Perkins last night. People pay for actors to be their family, due to how Japanese society is and the work culture loneliness is a huge problem and people are making a business from providing an answer to that. I think it's a good idea and I think paying for sex is too as long as you realise that the person you pay deserves no less respect than you do "
I think it's a western cultural taboo to pay for what's regarded ultimately as emotional labour. Whether it's one that should be questioned, I couldn't say. I am in favour of legalisation/ decriminalisation of prostitution because it happens regardless, and above all we need to protect the vulnerable people who at present are most likely to engage in it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I was married for 13 years and therefore paid heavily for sex. That's a flippant comment about my marriage, not a general statement. "
Not a flippant comment at all, there is more truth and cases than you may think. Is a story I come across regularly as is my own |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes, I get escorts on a fairly regular basis. I also pay a masseur to massage my tired muscles, I pay a doctor to look after my body, I pay restaurants to put good food into my body and I pay a trainer at the gym to help keep my body fit. |
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"I watched Japan with Sue Perkins last night. People pay for actors to be their family, due to how Japanese society is and the work culture loneliness is a huge problem and people are making a business from providing an answer to that. I think it's a good idea and I think paying for sex is too as long as you realise that the person you pay deserves no less respect than you do
I think it's a western cultural taboo to pay for what's regarded ultimately as emotional labour. Whether it's one that should be questioned, I couldn't say. I am in favour of legalisation/ decriminalisation of prostitution because it happens regardless, and above all we need to protect the vulnerable people who at present are most likely to engage in it. "
Yeah, it's not all Belle du jour is it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I got asked to be a sugar puff or sugarsnap pea or something this morning...apparently I get to be a kept woman and he fucks me when in the country.  I could think of a lot better things to spend 2k on I know that much!. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't all men pay for it at once in their lives, weather though escorts or from marriage and divorce just to get a laid from the hot lady at the end of the bar.
"
Doesn't just apply to men, many may see it that way lol, that is the point among many which I think is spirit the last comment of OP |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have never actually handed over cash to a woman for sex.
How ever I have paid for meals, paid for hotel rooms, flowers, gifts etc sometimes in the hope that it leads to sex. So the answer to your question yes, indirectly x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sex that is.
Would you?
Have you?
Do we all pay one way or another?"
Depends how you wish to look at it. If you would like to just look at it logically there needs to be an agreement, verbal contract if you will, that details the engagement. So there is an agreement between two parties where one of them benefits from the other in exchange for smth specific.
If you then are going to delve into the whole thing about is it paying if one is paying for a bill... I think that has too many variables in It. My thought is.. If you have to think too much about this then perhaps limit your emotional involvement. |
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I've paid for sex.
Normally for something I wouldn't experience otherwise, specifically a threesome with two women.
Or made a contribution to a party organiser.
Never lied for sex.
E.g. Never told a woman on a dating site that I'm interested in a relationship just to get her into bed. |
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I see paying for sex as the payer's laziness to make it enjoyable for the other party, or even lack of understanding that the other party needs or enjoys sex. The other party being the woman, more often than not. |
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"I have never actually handed over cash to a woman for sex.
How ever I have paid for meals, paid for hotel rooms, flowers, gifts etc sometimes in the hope that it leads to sex. So the answer to your question yes, indirectly x"
Didn't she spend any money, ehm, indirectly? |
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I think the sooner we lose the idea that in most relationships women are able to enjoy sex without being persuaded by gifts or treats the sooner we'll lose the attitude that men always ultimately pay for it somehow.
I also think that we need a regulated sex worker industry |
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By *r laidbackMan
over a year ago
London & New Brighton |
Hmmmm i dont think any man would have a wife or girlfriend for very long of he never ever took her out , wine and dine, cinema, out of a drink, dinner all this woooing comes at a cost. Is he paying for sex, no not directly but indirectly Yes.
Me myself Not directly I've not paid for sex, but i have indirectly. |
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"Hmmmm i dont think any man would have a wife or girlfriend for very long of he never ever took her out , wine and dine, cinema, out of a drink, dinner all this woooing comes at a cost. Is he paying for sex, no not directly but indirectly Yes.
Me myself Not directly I've not paid for sex, but i have indirectly."
Traditional men are among us!
What if the wife takes him out or buys him presents? Or, to make it sound more understandable to the more traditional man, cooks, cleans and looks after the children? What is she paying for indirectly? |
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By *imjohnCouple
over a year ago
Clacton on sea, Essex |
Swings and roundabouts I've paid I've been paid and every adult site including swinging sites earn well from adults looking and wanting sex...who's right, how long is a piece of string.
No one can give an accurate or fair answer to these questions. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Neither of us have an issue with paying a professional for such a service. We don't like the stigma that goes with it and we think that sex workers should be given much more respect than they get.
I was married for 13 years and therefore paid heavily for sex. That's a flippant comment about my marriage, not a general statement. "
I think it's really shit when Swingers fuck around for free but look down on people who pay/ are paid for sex.
Yet they'll happily pay to go to a swingers club.  |
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"Neither of us have an issue with paying a professional for such a service. We don't like the stigma that goes with it and we think that sex workers should be given much more respect than they get.
I was married for 13 years and therefore paid heavily for sex. That's a flippant comment about my marriage, not a general statement.
I think it's really shit when Swingers fuck around for free but look down on people who pay/ are paid for sex.
Yet they'll happily pay to go to a swingers club. "
Going to a swinging club isn't paying for sex. It is a payment to use the facilities in the same way as attending a gym.
There is absolutely no guarantee of sex |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think the sooner we lose the idea that in most relationships women are able to enjoy sex without being persuaded by gifts or treats the sooner we'll lose the attitude that men always ultimately pay for it somehow.
I also think that we need a regulated sex worker industry"
. Yes. I agree with all this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Neither of us have an issue with paying a professional for such a service. We don't like the stigma that goes with it and we think that sex workers should be given much more respect than they get.
I was married for 13 years and therefore paid heavily for sex. That's a flippant comment about my marriage, not a general statement.
I think it's really shit when Swingers fuck around for free but look down on people who pay/ are paid for sex.
Yet they'll happily pay to go to a swingers club. "
I also think putting down sex workers is crap. The couple we know personally are some of the strongest sweetest and most put together women we know.
Some of you would do well to swallow your presumption and visit one. You don't have to have sex but try talking to a woman and getting some actual insight instead of presuming there is something wrong with it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think there's a misconception that only desperate people pay . I don't think that's always the case .
I also don't think that every person who is paid has problems or is doing it against their will either .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Neither of us have an issue with paying a professional for such a service. We don't like the stigma that goes with it and we think that sex workers should be given much more respect than they get.
I was married for 13 years and therefore paid heavily for sex. That's a flippant comment about my marriage, not a general statement.
I think it's really shit when Swingers fuck around for free but look down on people who pay/ are paid for sex.
Yet they'll happily pay to go to a swingers club. "
This |
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My partner jokes that if he had gone with a prostitute instead of me it would of cost him less money and he would of got more sex seriously though i wouldnt pay for normal sex but if i had a kink that was niche i would pay someone to indulge me. I have guy friends that "treat" themselves to beautiful women when they go places like prague |
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"I've paid for sex.
Normally for something I wouldn't experience otherwise, specifically a threesome with two women.
Or made a contribution to a party organiser.
Never lied for sex.
E.g. Never told a woman on a dating site that I'm interested in a relationship just to get her into bed."
This, I respect and understand. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Neither of us have an issue with paying a professional for such a service. We don't like the stigma that goes with it and we think that sex workers should be given much more respect than they get.
I was married for 13 years and therefore paid heavily for sex. That's a flippant comment about my marriage, not a general statement.
I think it's really shit when Swingers fuck around for free but look down on people who pay/ are paid for sex.
Yet they'll happily pay to go to a swingers club.
I also think putting down sex workers is crap. The couple we know personally are some of the strongest sweetest and most put together women we know.
Some of you would do well to swallow your presumption and visit one. You don't have to have sex but try talking to a woman and getting some actual insight instead of presuming there is something wrong with it. "
They're too busy fucking around for free. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Neither of us have an issue with paying a professional for such a service. We don't like the stigma that goes with it and we think that sex workers should be given much more respect than they get.
I was married for 13 years and therefore paid heavily for sex. That's a flippant comment about my marriage, not a general statement.
I think it's really shit when Swingers fuck around for free but look down on people who pay/ are paid for sex.
Yet they'll happily pay to go to a swingers club.
Going to a swinging club isn't paying for sex. It is a payment to use the facilities in the same way as attending a gym.
There is absolutely no guarantee of sex "
Yeah people just go to the gym to use the showers. There's no guarantee they can have a go on the running machine.  |
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By *htcMan
over a year ago
MK |
Yes have paid many times, often do on a long journey aswell. usually a look through the profiles and there costs, and likes, then meet. problem is there is so many to pick from most are eastern european which are cheap 40 for a quickie but basic service, English usually costs more. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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never paid fit it, but considering it... beats paying £100 for dinner/drinks for another Tinder date that only results in disappointment for both parties and yet profits some random restaurant and wine bar |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Utmost respect for sex workers to take the job seriously. I can see that some of the work they do is akin to a form of counselling and life coaching in some cases, with some customers.
I think anyone who looks down on them needs their head wobbling a little.
I don't like the fact there are undercover sex workers advertising their wares on Fab and I report all I see (fair warning). There are other places they can use and it's at odd's with owners rulebook.
I have enlisted their services more than once. As a young lad in Germany (a story which a select few of you will get to hear about very soon) I visited two legal brothels and two strip clubs.
I also sampled the Thai equivalent one time.
Since then, I've never been. I personaly tend to find the experience very flat. I'm a tactile and touchy feely person, I need a strong connection and don't get that if I have to pay.
Fortunately I find myself in a position where I dont have to right now. I wouldn't be surprised if I turn into a viagra munching 70yr old singleton and returning to the world of sex work. I've always been a hyper sexual person and I doubt that'll fade when my looks and body do.
So provided I treat them respectfully, provided they treat me with respect, where is the harm?
To me the harm comes, like with drugs and alcohol, in prohibition. We criminalise, create outlaws, create a black market, where the nefarious elements take over and terrible things are done.. like encouraging drug addictions and modern slavery. Forcing people into servitude and horrific conditions.
A sad, sad world we live in at times.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’d never pay for sex.
I believe sex to be always a mutual thing "
Some people do get off on being paid or paying . In those situations it's very mutual. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’d never pay for sex.
I believe sex to be always a mutual thing
Some people do get off on being paid or paying . In those situations it's very mutual. "
I suppose you’re right in that respect |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I actually have a good friend who worked as an escort for a while. When she first told me about it I was shocked but I didn't judge her. I mean she is a very attractive lady with an amazing figure, and was able to ask for £200 a time, so why not. She told be it was purely financial reasons as she was struggling with bills at the time. Some of the stories she told me had me absolutely fascinated. She started off in an agency and got to know other girls. She said a good few were students just trying to make extra cash to pay their tuition fees. Most of her clients were wealthy businessmen. I was surprised when she told me that more than once, the guy wasn't even looking for sex, but just some company for the evening and was happy to pay good money just to sit and have drinks and chat all night. Easy money if you can get the work I say. Haven't paid a sex worker for sex myself, but I definitely wouldn't judge anyone who did. |
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I would. I've done something approaching that, recruiting male hosts and entertainers. I like to have charming men who look great around me anyway and sometimes for group events, parties etc. I also enjoy being the attractive woman on a guys arm in public. Sex is fairly easy to get regardless, so I've no deficit. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"never paid fit it, but considering it... beats paying £100 for dinner/drinks for another Tinder date that only results in disappointment for both parties and yet profits some random restaurant and wine bar"
I'm assuming the disappointment is because you didn't hit it off, and not because you were both shit in bed ?
(You can hardly blame the restaurant for that) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Neither of us have an issue with paying a professional for such a service. We don't like the stigma that goes with it and we think that sex workers should be given much more respect than they get.
I was married for 13 years and therefore paid heavily for sex. That's a flippant comment about my marriage, not a general statement.
I think it's really shit when Swingers fuck around for free but look down on people who pay/ are paid for sex.
Yet they'll happily pay to go to a swingers club.
Going to a swinging club isn't paying for sex. It is a payment to use the facilities in the same way as attending a gym.
There is absolutely no guarantee of sex "
what facilities a jacuzzi, a sauna and a steam room lol you can go down sports centre for a fiver  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sex that is.
Would you?
Have you?
Do we all pay one way or another?"
Nope and even getting offered cash is a insult.Sex should be about wanting to have sex with each other as you want them
Not doing it for money gain like a deal as that's just desperate and like prostitution |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sex that is.
Would you?
Have you?
Do we all pay one way or another?
Nope and even getting offered cash is a insult.Sex should be about wanting to have sex with each other as you want them
Not doing it for money gain like a deal as that's just desperate and like prostitution "
i want to have sex.......... do you?  |
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I have never paid for sex, but I have been paid for it. Got free accommodation for over a year to be a live in bull, for an older cuckold couple when I was 20. And a few years ago was asked to do it for cash. Found the experience incredibly erotic and it really turned me on.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you are single..no issue..do who you want.
If you are a cheating spouse..do not agree with that in any way shape or form because its still cheating. Employing the services of a prostitute would add insult to injury for the unaware partner if they found out...for me that would lead to the divorce court. |
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"Neither of us have an issue with paying a professional for such a service. We don't like the stigma that goes with it and we think that sex workers should be given much more respect than they get.
I was married for 13 years and therefore paid heavily for sex. That's a flippant comment about my marriage, not a general statement.
I think it's really shit when Swingers fuck around for free but look down on people who pay/ are paid for sex.
Yet they'll happily pay to go to a swingers club.
Going to a swinging club isn't paying for sex. It is a payment to use the facilities in the same way as attending a gym.
There is absolutely no guarantee of sex what facilities a jacuzzi, a sauna and a steam room lol you can go down sports centre for a fiver "
Yes, you can.
Are you guaranteed sex in a club?
Here is your answer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Neither of us have an issue with paying a professional for such a service. We don't like the stigma that goes with it and we think that sex workers should be given much more respect than they get.
I was married for 13 years and therefore paid heavily for sex. That's a flippant comment about my marriage, not a general statement.
I think it's really shit when Swingers fuck around for free but look down on people who pay/ are paid for sex.
Yet they'll happily pay to go to a swingers club.
Going to a swinging club isn't paying for sex. It is a payment to use the facilities in the same way as attending a gym.
There is absolutely no guarantee of sex what facilities a jacuzzi, a sauna and a steam room lol you can go down sports centre for a fiver
Yes, you can.
Are you guaranteed sex in a club?
Here is your answer."
my point would be why go to a swingers club and pay £40-£80 for a guy and just expect to use the sauna jacuzzi and steam room which they could go to sports centre and use for a fiver, they pay the lions share on entry expecting to get sex but are quite often disappointed, you and i both know that is the case, i personally would go and not expect anything but i certainly wouldn't go there to use the facilities eg oh bye darling just popping down club for a sauna ok dear dont forget your wallet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve never paid for it and don’t think I ever will.
Some people get a kick from it but it’s not for me and I don’t judge anyone.
Good question that and so many interesting views too. Happy Friday everyone |
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