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Attraction to " bad boys"
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Always curious why ladies are so attracted to bad boys,selfish boys, where nice guys come last.
Is it a subconscious primal response? Where these qualities are indication that they have more spirit and fight? Where not matter how toxic the pairing relationship that they will still provide for what is important to them .This in shape of off spring and themself no matter what and they will have little regard to how they do it .
Equally sex being very emotional and with a element of aggression and assertiveness . Its "easier" to fuck when angry or frustrated ie with that bad bad boys behaviour. Therefore even to the female may hate that guy they just can,t help themselves..and is just a thrill.and exciting each timex. Almost like a outlet ...a temporary holiday for the the mind from the toxic norm .
Something they instinctively know they know they would not get with the " mundane " boring lovey dovey emotionless
nice day.
Though being such a nice guy it would that much harder to leave move on from should a better opportunity come along .
Could go on ,but I think I,ve bored you enough...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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are you saying us women only come on here because we have shit lives so to escape that we need bad boys ?? nothing shit about my life its not toxix its a great life i come on here because it turns me on nothing else i dont need an excuse to come on here lol as for badboys who using who eh ?? think about it lol
badboys badboys whatcha gonna do ...oh yeah fuck right  |
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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago
Sandwich |
Bad boys are usually good at pleasing a woman sexually. Sadly that’s pretty much all they are good at, but that’s because they know it’s all they need. Along with a charming exterior.
Good guys can be great, but often very boring in bed and not much fun or excitement.
Add to that a lot of women crave constant reassurance of their attractiveness and it’s not that hard to see why they prefer a bad boy. Of course they probably don’t realise how bad he is until it’s too late.
Her majesty is right though, guys that tell you they are a good guy and moan about women preferring bad boys are usually the worst!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Had experience of this outside of fab. Was in a relationship for a year that she ended because I was "too nice". She went with a Guy who I've know for years who's a d*unk and takes drugs because (her words) she "wanted that excitement" of a bad boy.
May sound shallow of me but happy to say I was proved right telling her it was a mistake, she felt she could change him (which kinda negates the wanting a bad boy thing). Wasn't happy how it ended for her though as he turned violent one night stoned and pissed. She was lucky and got out without being hurt, but did leave me thinking why someone would willingly put themselves in harms way? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ugh this thread again
‘Nice guys’ don’t come last
I also find that those men who label themselves a nice guy, tend not to be. "
Exactly what I was going to say. Guys that complain about nice guys coming last are usually the worst, and the "bad boys" that they complain about are much nicer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Bad boys are for rebellious teens
I would class myself as a lady, I much prefer a ‘nice guy as I desire respect and time much more than any quick rough fuck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What a crock of shit
I can assure you if a guy isn't good to me then he can fuck off.
I had a bad boy once he destroyed everything I had along side my confidence. I still suffer aniexty now because of him |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think it's a case of not liking nice guys...there's usually something else that detracts which the self-proclaimed nice guys can't see about themselves. And nobody likes a sycophant. |
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Crock of shit.
Self proclaimed nice guys are often boring, and think they're entitled to sex because they're superficially nice (the facade doesn't last and is transparent).
Bad boys are at least interesting... |
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I'll take a nice bad boy.
There are arse holes everywhere..some male some female. I am not attracted someone who is a dick, equally not attracted to a guy who is sickening nice.
So an all rounder works for me. |
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"Always curious why ladies are so attracted to bad boys,selfish boys, where nice guys come last.
Is it a subconscious primal response? Where these qualities are indication that they have more spirit and fight? Where not matter how toxic the pairing relationship that they will still provide for what is important to them .This in shape of off spring and themself no matter what and they will have little regard to how they do it .
Equally sex being very emotional and with a element of aggression and assertiveness . Its "easier" to fuck when angry or frustrated ie with that bad bad boys behaviour. Therefore even to the female may hate that guy they just can,t help themselves..and is just a thrill.and exciting each timex. Almost like a outlet ...a temporary holiday for the the mind from the toxic norm .
Something they instinctively know they know they would not get with the " mundane " boring lovey dovey emotionless
nice day.
Though being such a nice guy it would that much harder to leave move on from should a better opportunity come along .
Could go on ,but I think I,ve bored you enough...
"
Inaccurate premise.
Also just because you've come last doesn't mean you're a good guy.
Could just be a slow wanker.  |
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What is a bad boy ? Someone who doesn’t treat anyone with respect, expects everything done for them, their way is the only way, fluffs his feathers and expects women to come running; always in trouble, consistent cheater.... to many examples of why someone would be classed as a bad boy.
Likewise a definition of a nice guy could be just as wide ranging
I find it laughable that the assumption is bad boys are good in bed but nice guys aren’t...... it is the quiet ones you have to watch out for and I’d take that any day over a selfish lover
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Op it might be a ying/yang thing.....
Opposites can attract and make a relationship work....
Think of like a woman is in a long term relationship with a white collar professional man... the relationship ends and she wants to date a more creative type of man.....
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I couldn't be less attracted- I always think a "bad boy" is a chav.
Nice guy for me any day!
I honestly don't understand the attraction my "vanilla" friends seem to have dramatic lives involving these guys... I find the drama mundane. |
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"Self proclaimed ‘nice guys’ are usually anything but  and not all actual nice guys are boring"
Oh no. Some nice guys are incredible and I don't buy into any of this crap. But some guys who claim to be nice just have a facade of manners, and not a lot else, including hobbies, passions, things we can have in common... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Always curious why ladies are so attracted to bad boys,selfish boys, where nice guys come last.
Is it a subconscious primal response? Where these qualities are indication that they have more spirit and fight? Where not matter how toxic the pairing relationship that they will still provide for what is important to them .This in shape of off spring and themself no matter what and they will have little regard to how they do it .
Equally sex being very emotional and with a element of aggression and assertiveness . Its "easier" to fuck when angry or frustrated ie with that bad bad boys behaviour. Therefore even to the female may hate that guy they just can,t help themselves..and is just a thrill.and exciting each timex. Almost like a outlet ...a temporary holiday for the the mind from the toxic norm .
Something they instinctively know they know they would not get with the " mundane " boring lovey dovey emotionless
nice day.
Though being such a nice guy it would that much harder to leave move on from should a better opportunity come along .
Could go on ,but I think I,ve bored you enough...
"
Speaking from experience as a bad boy turned good, in my experience I have been more successful with women after I dropped the bad boy stuff.
Another plus side is I spend much less time in prison lol |
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"Always curious why ladies are so attracted to bad boys,selfish boys, where nice guys come last.
Is it a subconscious primal response? Where these qualities are indication that they have more spirit and fight? Where not matter how toxic the pairing relationship that they will still provide for what is important to them .This in shape of off spring and themself no matter what and they will have little regard to how they do it .
Equally sex being very emotional and with a element of aggression and assertiveness . Its "easier" to fuck when angry or frustrated ie with that bad bad boys behaviour. Therefore even to the female may hate that guy they just can,t help themselves..and is just a thrill.and exciting each timex. Almost like a outlet ...a temporary holiday for the the mind from the toxic norm .
Something they instinctively know they know they would not get with the " mundane " boring lovey dovey emotionless
nice day.
Though being such a nice guy it would that much harder to leave move on from should a better opportunity come along .
Could go on ,but I think I,ve bored you enough...
Speaking from experience as a bad boy turned good, in my experience I have been more successful with women after I dropped the bad boy stuff.
Another plus side is I spend much less time in prison lol"
win, win  |
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
From my experience most women want men to be "men". When I say "men" I mean someone confident and self assured, who has goals to strive for and a sense of direction in their life. Someone who knows what they want and doesn't play mind games. Someone who's kind, respectful but will have that naughty streak and the right dose of mischief to keep things exciting, interesting and unexpected. |
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"Always curious why ladies are so attracted to bad boys,selfish boys, where nice guys come last.
Is it a subconscious primal response? Where these qualities are indication that they have more spirit and fight? Where not matter how toxic the pairing relationship that they will still provide for what is important to them .This in shape of off spring and themself no matter what and they will have little regard to how they do it .
Equally sex being very emotional and with a element of aggression and assertiveness . Its "easier" to fuck when angry or frustrated ie with that bad bad boys behaviour. Therefore even to the female may hate that guy they just can,t help themselves..and is just a thrill.and exciting each timex. Almost like a outlet ...a temporary holiday for the the mind from the toxic norm .
Something they instinctively know they know they would not get with the " mundane " boring lovey dovey emotionless
nice day.
Though being such a nice guy it would that much harder to leave move on from should a better opportunity come along .
Could go on ,but I think I,ve bored you enough...
"
That's quite a sweeping generalisation you've made there OP!
Some women will be attracted to "bad boys", some will be attracted to "nice guys", and the whole spectrum in between...
Cos different people are attracted to different things.
If you mean "somebody told me I'm too nice so that must be why I'm not getting any" that's a whole different thing, no?
Mrs TMN x |
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"I think when men start thinking they know what women want without actually asking the individual (and vice versa) is when they get it wrong. "
I wish I could convey my response properly. When church finished as a child, we'd sing "amen" a number of times, slowly, to close the service as the minister went to the rear of the church to greet people leaving.
That's the amount of amen I feel about this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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“Nice guys” don’t need to say they’re nice guys, firstly.
Those who do that usually aren’t nice.
Truly nice guys don’t finish last either.
I can’t speak for any other woman but I certainly don’t go for “bad boys”, I go for men in attracted to who have nice personalities.
Maybe the issue isn’t the women? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think when men start thinking they know what women want without actually asking the individual (and vice versa) is when they get it wrong. "
Absolutely agree.
We are not all the same. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"“Nice guys” don’t need to say they’re nice guys, firstly.
Those who do that usually aren’t nice.
Truly nice guys don’t finish last either.
I can’t speak for any other woman but I certainly don’t go for “bad boys”, I go for men in attracted to who have nice personalities.
Maybe the issue isn’t the women?"
Maybe the issue is the ‘nice’ men  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"“Nice guys” don’t need to say they’re nice guys, firstly.
Those who do that usually aren’t nice.
Truly nice guys don’t finish last either.
I can’t speak for any other woman but I certainly don’t go for “bad boys”, I go for men in attracted to who have nice personalities.
Maybe the issue isn’t the women?
Maybe the issue is the ‘nice’ men "
Yup!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"From my experience most women want men to be "men". When I say "men" I mean someone confident and self assured, who has goals to strive for and a sense of direction in their life. Someone who knows what they want and doesn't play mind games. Someone who's kind, respectful but will have that naughty streak and the right dose of mischief to keep things exciting, interesting and unexpected."
Exactly this
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"From my experience most women want men to be "men". When I say "men" I mean someone confident and self assured, who has goals to strive for and a sense of direction in their life. Someone who knows what they want and doesn't play mind games. Someone who's kind, respectful but will have that naughty streak and the right dose of mischief to keep things exciting, interesting and unexpected."
Couldn't have put it better - the notion of "bad boys/nice guys" is frankly a ridiculous one - people are attracted to all sorts of things and types so the OP is a sweeping generalisation at best.
If you're true to yourself, honest, considerate and respectful that is *all* that should matter.
Too many focus on what they *think* others want rather than the way they act themselves |
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"“Nice guys” don’t need to say they’re nice guys, firstly.
Those who do that usually aren’t nice.
Truly nice guys don’t finish last either.
I can’t speak for any other woman but I certainly don’t go for “bad boys”, I go for men in attracted to who have nice personalities.
Maybe the issue isn’t the women?
Maybe the issue is the ‘nice’ men "
It's not the women's fault? Say it ain't so!   |
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I have literally never been into "bad" guys in terms of assholes.
I'm also not into "nice" guys. I'm into interesting, articulate, passionate, empathetic, generous men who have interesting hobbies or interests and I can have a stimulating conversation with. If nice is your defining feature I think you're falling a bit short. Nice is the bare minimum.
What a lot of men seem to mean when they say bad guys in actually guys who seem tough. Bikers, boxers, men who seem assertive in public, etc. Alone with a woman they are often (not always but often) big teddy bears though.
The real bad guys are abusive, controlling assholes and nobody likes them. Under the surface they are petulant, entitled, insecure children. They often draw you in with hell of a lot of faked niceness though. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"I have literally never been into "bad" guys in terms of assholes.
I'm also not into "nice" guys. I'm into interesting, articulate, passionate, empathetic, generous men who have interesting hobbies or interests and I can have a stimulating conversation with. If nice is your defining feature I think you're falling a bit short. Nice is the bare minimum.
What a lot of men seem to mean when they say bad guys in actually guys who seem tough. Bikers, boxers, men who seem assertive in public, etc. Alone with a woman they are often (not always but often) big teddy bears though.
The real bad guys are abusive, controlling assholes and nobody likes them. Under the surface they are petulant, entitled, insecure children. They often draw you in with hell of a lot of faked niceness though."
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By *uzzy NavelWoman
over a year ago
so near and yet so far.... |
"Bad boys are usually good at pleasing a woman sexually. Sadly that’s pretty much all they are good at, but that’s because they know it’s all they need. Along with a charming exterior.
Good guys can be great, but often very boring in bed and not much fun or excitement.
Add to that a lot of women crave constant reassurance of their attractiveness and it’s not that hard to see why they prefer a bad boy. Of course they probably don’t realise how bad he is until it’s too late.
"
This, sadly they can see a vulnerable female and pounce.,, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Bad boys were good to learn on about things a woman does NOT need in her life.
I think I am past that. Because i want to be treated wholesome, not just as a playground for mind games and rough play :/ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have literally never been into "bad" guys in terms of assholes.
I'm also not into "nice" guys. I'm into interesting, articulate, passionate, empathetic, generous men who have interesting hobbies or interests and I can have a stimulating conversation with. If nice is your defining feature I think you're falling a bit short. Nice is the bare minimum.
What a lot of men seem to mean when they say bad guys in actually guys who seem tough. Bikers, boxers, men who seem assertive in public, etc. Alone with a woman they are often (not always but often) big teddy bears though.
The real bad guys are abusive, controlling assholes and nobody likes them. Under the surface they are petulant, entitled, insecure children. They often draw you in with hell of a lot of faked niceness though."
The Narcassist |
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"I have literally never been into "bad" guys in terms of assholes.
I'm also not into "nice" guys. I'm into interesting, articulate, passionate, empathetic, generous men who have interesting hobbies or interests and I can have a stimulating conversation with. If nice is your defining feature I think you're falling a bit short. Nice is the bare minimum.
What a lot of men seem to mean when they say bad guys in actually guys who seem tough. Bikers, boxers, men who seem assertive in public, etc. Alone with a woman they are often (not always but often) big teddy bears though.
The real bad guys are abusive, controlling assholes and nobody likes them. Under the surface they are petulant, entitled, insecure children. They often draw you in with hell of a lot of faked niceness though."
This rings very true!
Mrs TMN x |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
I think that you make an awful lots of assumptions in your post OP.
In general women aren't, those that are sometimes are doing so as a result of self esteem issues, often people accept the love that they think they deserve or what they know.
As for 'nice guys' that's a bit of a strange one. Often I've seen guys on here and in life, sell themselves as 'nice'. That term in itself is rather vague and bland but also, nice should be the basic level of humanity. If that's all you have to sell yourself on, then there's the reason you're single.
I will also add that 'nice guys' so often whine and moan. Whining and moaning isn't being nice, it's self pity.
In basis I reject the binary options you've given, people aren't one or the other. Im a nice guy, in that I respect people and treat them well, I also have a host of other qualities that from a different perspective could show me in an alternate light. |
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"Bad boys are usually good at pleasing a woman sexually. Sadly that’s pretty much all they are good at, but that’s because they know it’s all they need. Along with a charming exterior.
Good guys can be great, but often very boring in bed and not much fun or excitement.
Add to that a lot of women crave constant reassurance of their attractiveness and it’s not that hard to see why they prefer a bad boy. Of course they probably don’t realise how bad he is until it’s too late.
Her majesty is right though, guys that tell you they are a good guy and moan about women preferring bad boys are usually the worst!!
"
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"Had experience of this outside of fab. Was in a relationship for a year that she ended because I was "too nice". She went with a Guy who I've know for years who's a d*unk and takes drugs because (her words) she "wanted that excitement" of a bad boy.
May sound shallow of me but happy to say I was proved right telling her it was a mistake, she felt she could change him (which kinda negates the wanting a bad boy thing). Wasn't happy how it ended for her though as he turned violent one night stoned and pissed. She was lucky and got out without being hurt, but did leave me thinking why someone would willingly put themselves in harms way? "
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"Ugh this thread again
‘Nice guys’ don’t come last
I also find that those men who label themselves a nice guy, tend not to be.
Exactly what I was going to say. Guys that complain about nice guys coming last are usually the worst, and the "bad boys" that they complain about are much nicer."
really ?? Bit harsh... |
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Confidence is a big part of this. Your typical 'bad boy' has it, your typical 'nice guy' doesn't. And confidence is attractive.
Also, many 'nice guys' really aren't very nice, and often 'bad boys' aren't particularly bad. We should all be wary of putting people (and ourselves) into categories uncritically. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ugh this thread again
‘Nice guys’ don’t come last
I also find that those men who label themselves a nice guy, tend not to be.
Exactly what I was going to say. Guys that complain about nice guys coming last are usually the worst, and the "bad boys" that they complain about are much nicer. really ?? Bit harsh..."
I don’t think it was harsh.
She’s absolutely right. |
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To me or in my experience, when guys have claimed to be nice & kind guys, it's a facade for the mind bending mess they'll lay down later. Just cos the don't hit don't make ya nice.
Bad boys, well that's a broad spectrum & could mean anything from a jailbird to someone that just doesn't conform.
Confidence is a big part of it, adrenaline is usually another. Respect is definitely there too, they may be flinging you around the room sexually & often rough but they're not gonna force you to do something you don't want to either.
It's the buzz of doing stuff you shouldn't too  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I tend to love a guy with tattoos, long hair, piercings, the works. But not all are bad. My fwb is a beautiful young man. At least to me. Maybe a little rough, but always good to me. You can't always judge a book by the cover hun. |
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I have absolutly zero interest in bad boy. I go for decent respectful and interesting people. Sometimes nice can mean boring so if someone was to nice id think they ment boring. Also i dont need a guy to tell me hes nice i can work that out for myself. Those guys that harp on about how nice they are are usually not. Just boring |
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Bad boys can be interesting but a lot are just bad because they don't have the intelligence to be anything else. The rare sort the intelligent bad boy can be both stimulating and fun with it as they can stretch your boundaries and take you down less well trodden paths. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Bad boys have never been an attraction to me. I like the nice ones that your mother loves too. They do have to have an edge to them but that’s usually a secret side. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I try to go for nice ones but they then turn out to be arseholes or bad boys. At the same time though I do like a bit of fire and to do the chasing which tends to go with the badduns  |
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He hasn't grown up yet though! 
Jo.Xx 