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Change
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
So I've been thinking a little about my time on fab, what I've learnt and how I've changed as a person. Not just in terms of myself but also my attitudes and views.
I think that I've become more opinionated, more likely to speak my mind but at the same point more respectful of opposing views and open to different ideas and values. I think this is specifically down to hard lessons learnt and self belief.
So dear fabbers, how do you you think you have changed over your time on fab? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Iv changed loads
I started by just having a piss take then the kid in a candy store phase hit and i threw my cock around like confetti at a wedding until i found what i thought was the last thing i would want love and its made me so much happier gone is the playboy flirting with every hot girl that enters the forum arrived has the man and only that one girl can have my penis and its unbelievably freeing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t want to go into specific details but it’s certainly changed my way of thinking a little bit and also made me try or want to try some things I definitely wouldn’t have tried before. |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I don’t want to go into specific details but it’s certainly changed my way of thinking a little bit and also made me try or want to try some things I definitely wouldn’t have tried before. "
So, opened your viewpoint and expanded your tastes? |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Iv changed loads
I started by just having a piss take then the kid in a candy store phase hit and i threw my cock around like confetti at a wedding until i found what i thought was the last thing i would want love and its made me so much happier gone is the playboy flirting with every hot girl that enters the forum arrived has the man and only that one girl can have my penis and its unbelievably freeing"
Do you think all of that has changed you as a person though? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Definitely more open minded in terms of my thoughts view and opinions, and definitely in terms of exploring new things and not being afraid to be open to experimenting. |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I've become more body confident being on here, weirdly enough x"
It has that effect on some I think. Its not about the outward compliments, it's the belief that *you* are sexy. It's a wonderful thing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Iv changed loads
I started by just having a piss take then the kid in a candy store phase hit and i threw my cock around like confetti at a wedding until i found what i thought was the last thing i would want love and its made me so much happier gone is the playboy flirting with every hot girl that enters the forum arrived has the man and only that one girl can have my penis and its unbelievably freeing
Do you think all of that has changed you as a person though? "
yeah im now focused on what i want before i was like a cranefly just flapping around bouncing off walls not knowing who i was or what i wanted |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don’t want to go into specific details but it’s certainly changed my way of thinking a little bit and also made me try or want to try some things I definitely wouldn’t have tried before.
So, opened your viewpoint and expanded your tastes? "
Yes definitely. To be honest, you and GK ( the two I disagreed with the most) have perhaps been a little responsible for that. Even though it kills me to admit it! |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Definitely more open minded in terms of my thoughts view and opinions, and definitely in terms of exploring new things and not being afraid to be open to experimenting. "
That's lovely to read. I think it's difficult to be surrounded by so many different desires, tastes and views and not take notice |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I don’t want to go into specific details but it’s certainly changed my way of thinking a little bit and also made me try or want to try some things I definitely wouldn’t have tried before.
So, opened your viewpoint and expanded your tastes?
Yes definitely. To be honest, you and GK ( the two I disagreed with the most) have perhaps been a little responsible for that. Even though it kills me to admit it! "
*bites fist in excitement*
I'm going to frame that post 
All joking aside, I'm genuinely flattered |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don’t want to go into specific details but it’s certainly changed my way of thinking a little bit and also made me try or want to try some things I definitely wouldn’t have tried before.
So, opened your viewpoint and expanded your tastes?
Yes definitely. To be honest, you and GK ( the two I disagreed with the most) have perhaps been a little responsible for that. Even though it kills me to admit it!
*bites fist in excitement*
I'm going to frame that post
All joking aside, I'm genuinely flattered"
Haha.  |
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"Quite simply, made me a little more confident and open .. honest
I think that last word there is really interesting. Why do you think more honest? "
I meant honestly made me note confident
When people see some of my posts and attitude here they may find it hard to believe I'm really quite introverted... as is Red |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Quite simply, made me a little more confident and open .. honest
I think that last word there is really interesting. Why do you think more honest?
I meant honestly made me note confident
When people see some of my posts and attitude here they may find it hard to believe I'm really quite introverted... as is Red"
Ah I see, I misread your post 
|
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"Quite simply, made me a little more confident and open .. honest
I think that last word there is really interesting. Why do you think more honest?
I meant honestly made me note confident
When people see some of my posts and attitude here they may find it hard to believe I'm really quite introverted... as is Red
Ah I see, I misread your post
"
That's fine .. I can see why
I'd like to think I've always been honest on here, to myself at the very least |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Iv become far more confident.
Why do you think that is? That's lovely to hear by the way"
I guess I'm just more confident in own skin and also to express what I do and don't want. |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Quite simply, made me a little more confident and open .. honest
I think that last word there is really interesting. Why do you think more honest?
I meant honestly made me note confident
When people see some of my posts and attitude here they may find it hard to believe I'm really quite introverted... as is Red
Ah I see, I misread your post
That's fine .. I can see why
I'd like to think I've always been honest on here, to myself at the very least"
I think it's an essential quality. Confidence I think grows from that. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
I've changed a lot from when I first joined. I'm a lot softer and far less abrasive - the me who posted three/four years ago was a different person. I'm learning to watch my language but also when to support others.
After years (and a relationship with a right throbber) of being told I'm not enough, I've realised that actually I am. I still wobble but I'm becoming a lot more confident and unafraid to tell people how much I care/value them. I'm a bit less willing to put up with self centred BS as well.
It's also changed my view on others - sexiness really does come in a myriad of shapes and sizes. I'm fat but that's okay. Friendships with women can be truly uplifting and wonderful. I'd say I shied away from them before but now I have the absolute joy of knowing some truly beautiful and strong women who mean a lot to me.
And to end this stream of consciousness, I've realised that who I am is wonderful and good enough. More than. |
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"I've become more body confident being on here, weirdly enough x
It has that effect on some I think. Its not about the outward compliments, it's the belief that *you* are sexy. It's a wonderful thing"
I put up a lot of pics on here for myself. Helps me to see, sort of, how others see me. It's nice if they are liked but I do it more for me x |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I've changed a lot from when I first joined. I'm a lot softer and far less abrasive - the me who posted three/four years ago was a different person. I'm learning to watch my language but also when to support others.
After years (and a relationship with a right throbber) of being told I'm not enough, I've realised that actually I am. I still wobble but I'm becoming a lot more confident and unafraid to tell people how much I care/value them. I'm a bit less willing to put up with self centred BS as well.
It's also changed my view on others - sexiness really does come in a myriad of shapes and sizes. I'm fat but that's okay. Friendships with women can be truly uplifting and wonderful. I'd say I shied away from them before but now I have the absolute joy of knowing some truly beautiful and strong women who mean a lot to me.
And to end this stream of consciousness, I've realised that who I am is wonderful and good enough. More than."
That's wonderful to read |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I think it's made me more guarded. I've always been a very open and straightforward person, but there are some unpleasant, and even downright strange people on here. "
I can see how fab would do that, I think that's a very common experience as well.
Just as fab can help grow confidence, I think it can also make people more wary and cynical of others too. Many don't think twice about hiding aspects of themselves online and if you experience that a couple of times, it will naturally affect you, I speak from experience on that.
Thank you |
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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago
Filthy Fuckeryville |
Late to the party.
I've seen you change - and that's predominantly from a distance OP.
Me? I certainly have in my lengthy time on here. Partly cause of fab, and partly just getting older. I'm more confident for sure, but sadly also more distrusting  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I found my tribe..people that are willing to chat about what the world call taboos...open minded people, and no I don't justhink mean sex..great bunch on here..many supported me thru my dark times more than my so called friends..love that  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've become more body confident being on here, weirdly enough x
It has that effect on some I think. Its not about the outward compliments, it's the belief that *you* are sexy. It's a wonderful thing
I put up a lot of pics on here for myself. Helps me to see, sort of, how others see me. It's nice if they are liked but I do it more for me x"
I do that too. It's liberating and fun posting pics. I've grown to particularly like posting ones which I would have instantly deleted in the past. My body confidence has grown a lot from where it used to be. |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Late to the party.
I've seen you change - and that's predominantly from a distance OP.
Me? I certainly have in my lengthy time on here. Partly cause of fab, and partly just getting older. I'm more confident for sure, but sadly also more distrusting "
Is that tree that you're watching me from comfy? 
I do think that fab has a dual effect of boosting a person's confidence and increasing their distrust. |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Not changed at all really, but have become less fond of people in general on here and very bored of them really "
I think that fab does create a herd mentality to a degree in many, the 'they're doing it so it's alright' approach. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Not changed at all really, but have become less fond of people in general on here and very bored of them really
I think that fab does create a herd mentality to a degree in many, the 'they're doing it so it's alright' approach. "
Think in all reality it's just made me realise how boring people can be, it's very subjective and probably more because my life has always been full of the opposite. |
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"I've become more body confident being on here, weirdly enough x
It has that effect on some I think. Its not about the outward compliments, it's the belief that *you* are sexy. It's a wonderful thing
I put up a lot of pics on here for myself. Helps me to see, sort of, how others see me. It's nice if they are liked but I do it more for me x
I do that too. It's liberating and fun posting pics. I've grown to particularly like posting ones which I would have instantly deleted in the past. My body confidence has grown a lot from where it used to be."
The pics I think should be an instant delete of mine have got fabbed, shows me that everyone likes different things. My body confidence has grown so much more than what I used to be like x |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I've become more body confident being on here, weirdly enough x
It has that effect on some I think. Its not about the outward compliments, it's the belief that *you* are sexy. It's a wonderful thing
I put up a lot of pics on here for myself. Helps me to see, sort of, how others see me. It's nice if they are liked but I do it more for me x
I do that too. It's liberating and fun posting pics. I've grown to particularly like posting ones which I would have instantly deleted in the past. My body confidence has grown a lot from where it used to be."
I think that seeing ourselves how others see us can be a very liberating thing |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
I am a little cynical. I have never been a cynical person and I take no pleasure from it.
It has only reinforced my belief that people with ugly personalities are the worst kind of people and they are beyond help.
It initially gave me a confidence boost and then it levelled out. I know what I am and what I’m not and this puts me in a comfortable position on here.
Overall I haven’t changed or learnt much about myself. I’ve googled a few things that I wish I hadn’t though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Almost 10 years on here. I have experienced lots especially visiting clubs & munchers. Meeting many lovely people into all kinds of kinks. Discovered myself & my interests within the BDSM community.
I have learnt to be more confident. Not to trust so easy. It's made me much more guarded throughout a personal experience. What I like & what I don't.
Mostly above all its taught me freedom from the "vanilla world" x |
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"I am a little cynical. I have never been a cynical person and I take no pleasure from it.
It has only reinforced my belief that people with ugly personalities are the worst kind of people and they are beyond help.
It initially gave me a confidence boost and then it levelled out. I know what I am and what I’m not and this puts me in a comfortable position on here.
Overall I haven’t changed or learnt much about myself. I’ve googled a few things that I wish I hadn’t though "
Far more eloquent than my one line attempt.. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
I don't think I've changed a great deal in terms of the person I am, values and how I think etc.
I've got my head around non-monogamy somewhat, and have come to accept that I *am* attractive to some (which I don't think I'd ever really believed before) and have taken a level of confidence from that - on the flip side though there are some areas where I've lost confidence and become more aware of my own (self-perceived) failings. |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Not changed at all really, but have become less fond of people in general on here and very bored of them really
I think that fab does create a herd mentality to a degree in many, the 'they're doing it so it's alright' approach.
Think in all reality it's just made me realise how boring people can be, it's very subjective and probably more because my life has always been full of the opposite. "
I think that it is a very subjective thing, one person's boring is another person's intriguing or calming. |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Sadly more cynical..
A common theme!
Yup.. if only people were what they try and portray... sad really."
I agree, I wish people were honest about their intentions or situations and feelings. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I've changed in so much that I can't always take people at face value now, because people's faces are often masks.
I need a vibe to go on rather than words and I observe more than others realise.
I've become far more tolerant yet far more intolerant at the same time, just depends which side of the coin you're on.
I go through ups and downs in the "I'm not enough" stakes. Not booby enough, not smart enough, not adventurous enough, not thin enough, not curvy enough, not classy enough, not quiet enough.
I am enough... in fact I'm fucking awesome enough. I do me pretty damn well and I couldn't be more authentically me if I tried. I've discovered that's pretty rare and that I'm a tough cookie for being so open.
I have time for groups of people I never thought I'd not only get along with but genuinely care for and learn from.
I've realised my own limits as far as being an empath goes. When I need to recharge and how best works for me in doing so, and that that's ok.
P |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Not changed at all really, but have become less fond of people in general on here and very bored of them really
I think that fab does create a herd mentality to a degree in many, the 'they're doing it so it's alright' approach.
Think in all reality it's just made me realise how boring people can be, it's very subjective and probably more because my life has always been full of the opposite.
I think that it is a very subjective thing, one person's boring is another person's intriguing or calming. "
Very much so! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sadly more cynical..
A common theme!
Yup.. if only people were what they try and portray... sad really.
I agree, I wish people were honest about their intentions or situations and feelings. "
So much this.
P |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Almost 10 years on here. I have experienced lots especially visiting clubs & munchers. Meeting many lovely people into all kinds of kinks. Discovered myself & my interests within the BDSM community.
I have learnt to be more confident. Not to trust so easy. It's made me much more guarded throughout a personal experience. What I like & what I don't.
Mostly above all its taught me freedom from the "vanilla world" x"
I'm starting to think that the rewards of confidence and sexual awareness are paid for in cynicism and loss of trust in people. Is that price worth paying? |
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"I've changed in so much that I can't always take people at face value now, because people's faces are often masks.
I need a vibe to go on rather than words and I observe more than others realise.
I've become far more tolerant yet far more intolerant at the same time, just depends which side of the coin you're on.
I go through ups and downs in the "I'm not enough" stakes. Not booby enough, not smart enough, not adventurous enough, not thin enough, not curvy enough, not classy enough, not quiet enough.
I am enough... in fact I'm fucking awesome enough. I do me pretty damn well and I couldn't be more authentically me if I tried. I've discovered that's pretty rare and that I'm a tough cookie for being so open.
I have time for groups of people I never thought I'd not only get along with but genuinely care for and learn from.
I've realised my own limits as far as being an empath goes. When I need to recharge and how best works for me in doing so, and that that's ok.
P"
 just what I needed to read today! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think for each person it depends on the state they were in when they arrived here and how open they are to the world and learning new things and also their mental ability to do so. Some will have learned and grown and some will have shrunk into their own beliefs further through bad experiences.
Myself, I like myself a lot, I did when I came here and I think I was and am in a very good/comfortable place and position in the world. Never suffer fools but always be open to someone you can learn from. Substance over image is a huge learning lesson for many on fab too because ppl can appear to be anything's they choose, but I've always had pretty good vision in that respect. My advice to you all about fab after many years - its just fab treat it for what it is and chill....
Love and peace X |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I've changed in so much that I can't always take people at face value now, because people's faces are often masks.
I need a vibe to go on rather than words and I observe more than others realise.
I've become far more tolerant yet far more intolerant at the same time, just depends which side of the coin you're on.
I go through ups and downs in the "I'm not enough" stakes. Not booby enough, not smart enough, not adventurous enough, not thin enough, not curvy enough, not classy enough, not quiet enough.
I am enough... in fact I'm fucking awesome enough. I do me pretty damn well and I couldn't be more authentically me if I tried. I've discovered that's pretty rare and that I'm a tough cookie for being so open.
I have time for groups of people I never thought I'd not only get along with but genuinely care for and learn from.
I've realised my own limits as far as being an empath goes. When I need to recharge and how best works for me in doing so, and that that's ok.
P"
That sounds like quite a lesson there P!
You are definitely enough.
Unless you're looking for a full size person, then you're about 2/3rds enough |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've changed in so much that I can't always take people at face value now, because people's faces are often masks.
I need a vibe to go on rather than words and I observe more than others realise.
I've become far more tolerant yet far more intolerant at the same time, just depends which side of the coin you're on.
I go through ups and downs in the "I'm not enough" stakes. Not booby enough, not smart enough, not adventurous enough, not thin enough, not curvy enough, not classy enough, not quiet enough.
I am enough... in fact I'm fucking awesome enough. I do me pretty damn well and I couldn't be more authentically me if I tried. I've discovered that's pretty rare and that I'm a tough cookie for being so open.
I have time for groups of people I never thought I'd not only get along with but genuinely care for and learn from.
I've realised my own limits as far as being an empath goes. When I need to recharge and how best works for me in doing so, and that that's ok.
P
just what I needed to read today! "
Guess what Saff?....
You're you enough too
P |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've changed in so much that I can't always take people at face value now, because people's faces are often masks.
I need a vibe to go on rather than words and I observe more than others realise.
I've become far more tolerant yet far more intolerant at the same time, just depends which side of the coin you're on.
I go through ups and downs in the "I'm not enough" stakes. Not booby enough, not smart enough, not adventurous enough, not thin enough, not curvy enough, not classy enough, not quiet enough.
I am enough... in fact I'm fucking awesome enough. I do me pretty damn well and I couldn't be more authentically me if I tried. I've discovered that's pretty rare and that I'm a tough cookie for being so open.
I have time for groups of people I never thought I'd not only get along with but genuinely care for and learn from.
I've realised my own limits as far as being an empath goes. When I need to recharge and how best works for me in doing so, and that that's ok.
P
That sounds like quite a lesson there P!
You are definitely enough.
Unless you're looking for a full size person, then you're about 2/3rds enough "
2/3rds? You're being generous  you been using the winky measuring device?
P |
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"Sadly more cynical..
A common theme!
Yup.. if only people were what they try and portray... sad really.
I agree, I wish people were honest about their intentions or situations and feelings.
So much this.
P"
Some people are so messed up I think they actually believe their own lies. I pity them. |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I think for each person it depends on the state they were in when they arrived here and how open they are to the world and learning new things and also their mental ability to do so. Some will have learned and grown and some will have shrunk into their own beliefs further through bad experiences.
Myself, I like myself a lot, I did when I came here and I think I was and am in a very good/comfortable place and position in the world. Never suffer fools but always be open to someone you can learn from. Substance over image is a huge learning lesson for many on fab too because ppl can appear to be anything's they choose, but I've always had pretty good vision in that respect. My advice to you all about fab after many years - its just fab treat it for what it is and chill....
Love and peace X "
I think that fab is different things to different people, that's often where friction and misunderstanding comes from. What you consider fab to be might be a lifeline to someone else.
I often think it's rather dismissive when people say 'it's just a sex site' or 'it's just a bit of fun'. No, it's just that to the person saying it. |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I've changed in so much that I can't always take people at face value now, because people's faces are often masks.
I need a vibe to go on rather than words and I observe more than others realise.
I've become far more tolerant yet far more intolerant at the same time, just depends which side of the coin you're on.
I go through ups and downs in the "I'm not enough" stakes. Not booby enough, not smart enough, not adventurous enough, not thin enough, not curvy enough, not classy enough, not quiet enough.
I am enough... in fact I'm fucking awesome enough. I do me pretty damn well and I couldn't be more authentically me if I tried. I've discovered that's pretty rare and that I'm a tough cookie for being so open.
I have time for groups of people I never thought I'd not only get along with but genuinely care for and learn from.
I've realised my own limits as far as being an empath goes. When I need to recharge and how best works for me in doing so, and that that's ok.
P
That sounds like quite a lesson there P!
You are definitely enough.
Unless you're looking for a full size person, then you're about 2/3rds enough
2/3rds? You're being generous you been using the winky measuring device?
P"
Funnily enough I'm watching Sky now...
Although the new Q remote is smaller, so.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Almost 10 years on here. I have experienced lots especially visiting clubs & munchers. Meeting many lovely people into all kinds of kinks. Discovered myself & my interests within the BDSM community.
I have learnt to be more confident. Not to trust so easy. It's made me much more guarded throughout a personal experience. What I like & what I don't.
Mostly above all its taught me freedom from the "vanilla world" x
I'm starting to think that the rewards of confidence and sexual awareness are paid for in cynicism and loss of trust in people. Is that price worth paying? "
From a past experience would I want to relive that again, yes & no. I gained vast experience & knowledge. I wouldn't want to experience the heartache that came after through pure trust in that person no. So in the end I have no regrets only lessons learnt x |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"So I've been thinking a little about my time on fab, what I've learnt and how I've changed as a person. Not just in terms of myself but also my attitudes and views.
I think that I've become more opinionated, more likely to speak my mind but at the same point more respectful of opposing views and open to different ideas and values. I think this is specifically down to hard lessons learnt and self belief.
So dear fabbers, how do you you think you have changed over your time on fab? "
Iv always been opinionated outspoken kind loyal but I'm more caring and will always listen to people and try and help if I can |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think for each person it depends on the state they were in when they arrived here and how open they are to the world and learning new things and also their mental ability to do so. Some will have learned and grown and some will have shrunk into their own beliefs further through bad experiences.
Myself, I like myself a lot, I did when I came here and I think I was and am in a very good/comfortable place and position in the world. Never suffer fools but always be open to someone you can learn from. Substance over image is a huge learning lesson for many on fab too because ppl can appear to be anything's they choose, but I've always had pretty good vision in that respect. My advice to you all about fab after many years - its just fab treat it for what it is and chill....
Love and peace X
I think that fab is different things to different people, that's often where friction and misunderstanding comes from. What you consider fab to be might be a lifeline to someone else.
I often think it's rather dismissive when people say 'it's just a sex site' or 'it's just a bit of fun'. No, it's just that to the person saying it. "
It was my personal advice, bit fact. My advice was dont let it be more than fab, because that's a dangerous crutch to use when vulnerable and you could do something more positive instead in the real outside world. In my experience I've seen many who could benefit from that. I'm well aware that my optinion may not be a popular one on fab especially for those who feel a mild addiction or who use it as an emotional crutch. HOWEVER, real face to face friends with no snoke and mirrors and gossip cannot be beaten if you're able to find them.... that's all I meant
Peace & chill etc.... thanks for the post |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"So I've been thinking a little about my time on fab, what I've learnt and how I've changed as a person. Not just in terms of myself but also my attitudes and views.
I think that I've become more opinionated, more likely to speak my mind but at the same point more respectful of opposing views and open to different ideas and values. I think this is specifically down to hard lessons learnt and self belief.
So dear fabbers, how do you you think you have changed over your time on fab?
Iv always been opinionated outspoken kind loyal but I'm more caring and will always listen to people and try and help if I can"
Do you think that this is a result of fab? If so, why? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think for each person it depends on the state they were in when they arrived here and how open they are to the world and learning new things and also their mental ability to do so. Some will have learned and grown and some will have shrunk into their own beliefs further through bad experiences.
Myself, I like myself a lot, I did when I came here and I think I was and am in a very good/comfortable place and position in the world. Never suffer fools but always be open to someone you can learn from. Substance over image is a huge learning lesson for many on fab too because ppl can appear to be anything's they choose, but I've always had pretty good vision in that respect. My advice to you all about fab after many years - its just fab treat it for what it is and chill....
Love and peace X
I think that fab is different things to different people, that's often where friction and misunderstanding comes from. What you consider fab to be might be a lifeline to someone else.
I often think it's rather dismissive when people say 'it's just a sex site' or 'it's just a bit of fun'. No, it's just that to the person saying it.
It was my personal advice, bit fact. My advice was dont let it be more than fab, because that's a dangerous crutch to use when vulnerable and you could do something more positive instead in the real outside world. In my experience I've seen many who could benefit from that. I'm well aware that my optinion may not be a popular one on fab especially for those who feel a mild addiction or who use it as an emotional crutch. HOWEVER, real face to face friends with no snoke and mirrors and gossip cannot be beaten if you're able to find them.... that's all I meant
Peace & chill etc.... thanks for the post "
NOT fact*, sorry
(Fuck my typing on this new phone... ) |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"So I've been thinking a little about my time on fab, what I've learnt and how I've changed as a person. Not just in terms of myself but also my attitudes and views.
I think that I've become more opinionated, more likely to speak my mind but at the same point more respectful of opposing views and open to different ideas and values. I think this is specifically down to hard lessons learnt and self belief.
So dear fabbers, how do you you think you have changed over your time on fab?
Iv always been opinionated outspoken kind loyal but I'm more caring and will always listen to people and try and help if I can
Do you think that this is a result of fab? If so, why? "
I guess I'm more caring because of fab why you say well people ask my opinions and I respond |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sadly more cynical..
A common theme!
Yup.. if only people were what they try and portray... sad really.
I agree, I wish people were honest about their intentions or situations and feelings.
So much this.
P
Some people are so messed up I think they actually believe their own lies. I pity them."
I don't think I've reached the pity them stage just yet, as I do think unless they have a medical condition then it's something they're choosing to do, I do however feel for those who they trick. It's not fucking fair. I know life isn't fair but that's no excuse to manipulate and deceive. That's no valid reason to prey on people. Being "someone/something" else to gain favour is just a big ole bag of stinky bullshit that's utterly flawed on so many levels. If people really took stock they'd learn that if they were their true selves they wouldn't have fleeting dalliances or friendships, that in some cases you could make genuine friends and possibly more.
Yes for many the time we spend together is fleeting, but wouldn't you want to look back on those times with fondness rather than having aggro attached to it?
P |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"I think for each person it depends on the state they were in when they arrived here and how open they are to the world and learning new things and also their mental ability to do so. Some will have learned and grown and some will have shrunk into their own beliefs further through bad experiences.
Myself, I like myself a lot, I did when I came here and I think I was and am in a very good/comfortable place and position in the world. Never suffer fools but always be open to someone you can learn from. Substance over image is a huge learning lesson for many on fab too because ppl can appear to be anything's they choose, but I've always had pretty good vision in that respect. My advice to you all about fab after many years - its just fab treat it for what it is and chill....
Love and peace X
I think that fab is different things to different people, that's often where friction and misunderstanding comes from. What you consider fab to be might be a lifeline to someone else.
I often think it's rather dismissive when people say 'it's just a sex site' or 'it's just a bit of fun'. No, it's just that to the person saying it.
It was my personal advice, bit fact. My advice was dont let it be more than fab, because that's a dangerous crutch to use when vulnerable and you could do something more positive instead in the real outside world. In my experience I've seen many who could benefit from that. I'm well aware that my optinion may not be a popular one on fab especially for those who feel a mild addiction or who use it as an emotional crutch. HOWEVER, real face to face friends with no snoke and mirrors and gossip cannot be beaten if you're able to find them.... that's all I meant
Peace & chill etc.... thanks for the post
NOT fact*, sorry
(Fuck my typing on this new phone... )"
Your fat fingers |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So I've been thinking a little about my time on fab, what I've learnt and how I've changed as a person. Not just in terms of myself but also my attitudes and views.
I think that I've become more opinionated, more likely to speak my mind but at the same point more respectful of opposing views and open to different ideas and values. I think this is specifically down to hard lessons learnt and self belief.
So dear fabbers, how do you you think you have changed over your time on fab? "
Hasn't changed me that much been here, other sites both as couples and singles. Nothing new has happened on these sites still the same ol same ol. Here for specific reasons that's all. It good if it works for people |
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"Sadly more cynical..
A common theme!
Yup.. if only people were what they try and portray... sad really.
I agree, I wish people were honest about their intentions or situations and feelings.
So much this.
P
Some people are so messed up I think they actually believe their own lies. I pity them.
I don't think I've reached the pity them stage just yet, as I do think unless they have a medical condition then it's something they're choosing to do, I do however feel for those who they trick. It's not fucking fair. I know life isn't fair but that's no excuse to manipulate and deceive. That's no valid reason to prey on people. Being "someone/something" else to gain favour is just a big ole bag of stinky bullshit that's utterly flawed on so many levels. If people really took stock they'd learn that if they were their true selves they wouldn't have fleeting dalliances or friendships, that in some cases you could make genuine friends and possibly more.
Yes for many the time we spend together is fleeting, but wouldn't you want to look back on those times with fondness rather than having aggro attached to it?
P"
Yes I agree.. I’m friends with everyone I’ve met or dated barring two. Both of those displayed such levels of duplicity and lack of self awareness that the only choice was to remove them completely. Some people are beyond help because they genuinely think they’re decent human beings. The sad part is that they’ll continue their path of destruction until they see themselves for what they are.. which is very unlikely. |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
"I think for each person it depends on the state they were in when they arrived here and how open they are to the world and learning new things and also their mental ability to do so. Some will have learned and grown and some will have shrunk into their own beliefs further through bad experiences.
Myself, I like myself a lot, I did when I came here and I think I was and am in a very good/comfortable place and position in the world. Never suffer fools but always be open to someone you can learn from. Substance over image is a huge learning lesson for many on fab too because ppl can appear to be anything's they choose, but I've always had pretty good vision in that respect. My advice to you all about fab after many years - its just fab treat it for what it is and chill....
Love and peace X
I think that fab is different things to different people, that's often where friction and misunderstanding comes from. What you consider fab to be might be a lifeline to someone else.
I often think it's rather dismissive when people say 'it's just a sex site' or 'it's just a bit of fun'. No, it's just that to the person saying it.
It was my personal advice, bit fact. My advice was dont let it be more than fab, because that's a dangerous crutch to use when vulnerable and you could do something more positive instead in the real outside world. In my experience I've seen many who could benefit from that. I'm well aware that my optinion may not be a popular one on fab especially for those who feel a mild addiction or who use it as an emotional crutch. HOWEVER, real face to face friends with no snoke and mirrors and gossip cannot be beaten if you're able to find them.... that's all I meant
Peace & chill etc.... thanks for the post "
I agree with you about it being a dangerous crutch. There’s no substitute for live interactions with people. Some people are unkind on here, there is a lot of game playing, ignoring people  and getting at people. If you’re a vulnerable soul I can see how it could be soul destroying. I feel that you are better placed if you are comfortable in yourself first. Just my thought |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"Sadly more cynical..
A common theme!
Yup.. if only people were what they try and portray... sad really.
I agree, I wish people were honest about their intentions or situations and feelings.
So much this.
P
Some people are so messed up I think they actually believe their own lies. I pity them.
I don't think I've reached the pity them stage just yet, as I do think unless they have a medical condition then it's something they're choosing to do, I do however feel for those who they trick. It's not fucking fair. I know life isn't fair but that's no excuse to manipulate and deceive. That's no valid reason to prey on people. Being "someone/something" else to gain favour is just a big ole bag of stinky bullshit that's utterly flawed on so many levels. If people really took stock they'd learn that if they were their true selves they wouldn't have fleeting dalliances or friendships, that in some cases you could make genuine friends and possibly more.
Yes for many the time we spend together is fleeting, but wouldn't you want to look back on those times with fondness rather than having aggro attached to it?
P"
Bang on 
Sadly some people will seek to manipulate and lie and prey on the vulnerable or more trusting and often it's clear as day what they are doing to an observer, yet many are taken in by it - especially when that "mask" puts on a pretence of graciousness and "who me?" hidden behind what they think are the right words.
But getting back on topic - that's possibly another change I've experienced, becoming more perceptive to BS |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think for each person it depends on the state they were in when they arrived here and how open they are to the world and learning new things and also their mental ability to do so. Some will have learned and grown and some will have shrunk into their own beliefs further through bad experiences.
Myself, I like myself a lot, I did when I came here and I think I was and am in a very good/comfortable place and position in the world. Never suffer fools but always be open to someone you can learn from. Substance over image is a huge learning lesson for many on fab too because ppl can appear to be anything's they choose, but I've always had pretty good vision in that respect. My advice to you all about fab after many years - its just fab treat it for what it is and chill....
Love and peace X
I think that fab is different things to different people, that's often where friction and misunderstanding comes from. What you consider fab to be might be a lifeline to someone else.
I often think it's rather dismissive when people say 'it's just a sex site' or 'it's just a bit of fun'. No, it's just that to the person saying it.
It was my personal advice, bit fact. My advice was dont let it be more than fab, because that's a dangerous crutch to use when vulnerable and you could do something more positive instead in the real outside world. In my experience I've seen many who could benefit from that. I'm well aware that my optinion may not be a popular one on fab especially for those who feel a mild addiction or who use it as an emotional crutch. HOWEVER, real face to face friends with no snoke and mirrors and gossip cannot be beaten if you're able to find them.... that's all I meant
Peace & chill etc.... thanks for the post
NOT fact*, sorry
(Fuck my typing on this new phone... )"
I think if someone is open about their state of mind and someone else sees that open vulnerability as a way to manipulate then they're a sick mofo. I think THEY are the kinds of scum who shouldn't be using the site rather than those who seek friendships, respectful sexy times and liberation.
P |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I think for each person it depends on the state they were in when they arrived here and how open they are to the world and learning new things and also their mental ability to do so. Some will have learned and grown and some will have shrunk into their own beliefs further through bad experiences.
Myself, I like myself a lot, I did when I came here and I think I was and am in a very good/comfortable place and position in the world. Never suffer fools but always be open to someone you can learn from. Substance over image is a huge learning lesson for many on fab too because ppl can appear to be anything's they choose, but I've always had pretty good vision in that respect. My advice to you all about fab after many years - its just fab treat it for what it is and chill....
Love and peace X
I think that fab is different things to different people, that's often where friction and misunderstanding comes from. What you consider fab to be might be a lifeline to someone else.
I often think it's rather dismissive when people say 'it's just a sex site' or 'it's just a bit of fun'. No, it's just that to the person saying it.
It was my personal advice, bit fact. My advice was dont let it be more than fab, because that's a dangerous crutch to use when vulnerable and you could do something more positive instead in the real outside world. In my experience I've seen many who could benefit from that. I'm well aware that my optinion may not be a popular one on fab especially for those who feel a mild addiction or who use it as an emotional crutch. HOWEVER, real face to face friends with no snoke and mirrors and gossip cannot be beaten if you're able to find them.... that's all I meant
Peace & chill etc.... thanks for the post
NOT fact*, sorry
(Fuck my typing on this new phone... )
I think if someone is open about their state of mind and someone else sees that open vulnerability as a way to manipulate then they're a sick mofo. I think THEY are the kinds of scum who shouldn't be using the site rather than those who seek friendships, respectful sexy times and liberation.
P"
I agree, being in a vulnerable state isn't a reason for being excluded, quite the opposite. It's the people who manipulate the vulnerable or prey on them that should be excluded. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It has been a rollercoaster, usually when I ignored my intution.
Change is the only constant they say. So, still transforming, continually morphing into who I always craved to be. Some people I have talked to have been instrumental in prompting that flutter of my own wings and that was a special gift. Those who disrespected my time and efforts taught me something too. Those who misunderstood my intentions still teach me most.
I am lighter in my body, but kind of heavier in my soul. But there is a balance to it too. And I am enjoing what I have, what I am finding and losses too. Strangely. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So I've been thinking a little about my time on fab, what I've learnt and how I've changed as a person. Not just in terms of myself but also my attitudes and views.
I think that I've become more opinionated, more likely to speak my mind but at the same point more respectful of opposing views and open to different ideas and values. I think this is specifically down to hard lessons learnt and self belief.
So dear fabbers, how do you you think you have changed over your time on fab? "
I've become more social and a little more confident in finding my fun. I have always been respectful of other attitudes and opinions, it makes me think of the situation and see if it can change my way I look at it. I've made many mistakes on here and have worked through them to come out stronger. I have seen love blossom for some and I'd hope I'd find that, but at the same time I think me being here changes men's attitudes to the type of woman I am. It an ongoing quandary. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I’m more confident now, would never show my body off before as felt I was too chubby and didn’t think I was attractive enough. I’m more sexually adventurous and thanks to Mr supporting me I’ve accepted and embraced my bisexuality.
Before joining fab I’d been with three men, all very boring, in that it was all about their needs. Friend said join Fab, explore the world of the sexually uninhibited, and enjoyed it.
Only thing I haven’t liked is the stalkers, the abusive and the entitled- not all men either- some very entitled women/couples on here. The ones who don’t respect boundaries are off putting too, the people who think that they can demand I be submissive to them, they mistake submissive with doormat! I am submissive only to Mr. Told their mistake, blocked and never met- the old me would have felt too nervous at being thought impolite to do that. It has made me a bit more cynical though- that’s not such a good thing x
Viv xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You go girl. Very positive. The cynicism is self preservation which is no bad thing. "
Thank you x Badly hurt before I joined so was possibly a bit vulnerable and quickly found out that some people can be mean and call it constructive criticism- actually nothing constructive about it- but you get keyboard warriors on every social platform so easier to ignore now. It’s made me stronger, and as you say, my cynicism helps me look after me more than I used to when I was naive and trusting x Viv xx |
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When I first joined I was a bit taken aback by how judgemental people could be so I became a bit secretive about some of the things I'm into. Now I don't give a shit. I just ignore the hate and if someone is put off meeting me because of things I have mentioned enjoying then they're probably not the right fit for me anyway |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"When I first joined I was a bit taken aback by how judgemental people could be so I became a bit secretive about some of the things I'm into. Now I don't give a shit. I just ignore the hate and if someone is put off meeting me because of things I have mentioned enjoying then they're probably not the right fit for me anyway "
Best attitude to have - it amazes me sometimes just how judgemental a so called liberated and open lifestyle can be, although to be honest because of the nature of the site, and also the fact that the forums represent a very small percentage of the users, I think a skewed perception can sometimes be taken at first. |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"When I first joined I was a bit taken aback by how judgemental people could be so I became a bit secretive about some of the things I'm into. Now I don't give a shit. I just ignore the hate and if someone is put off meeting me because of things I have mentioned enjoying then they're probably not the right fit for me anyway
Best attitude to have - it amazes me sometimes just how judgemental a so called liberated and open lifestyle can be, although to be honest because of the nature of the site, and also the fact that the forums represent a very small percentage of the users, I think a skewed perception can sometimes be taken at first."
I agree, getting off topic here; the forum represents a very small part of what is a tiny corner of the internet. Popularity or favour on those boards is really a tiny speck in the greater scheme.
In this sense I really see little point in being false or fake to impress a handful of folks. |
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"When I first joined I was a bit taken aback by how judgemental people could be so I became a bit secretive about some of the things I'm into. Now I don't give a shit. I just ignore the hate and if someone is put off meeting me because of things I have mentioned enjoying then they're probably not the right fit for me anyway
Best attitude to have - it amazes me sometimes just how judgemental a so called liberated and open lifestyle can be, although to be honest because of the nature of the site, and also the fact that the forums represent a very small percentage of the users, I think a skewed perception can sometimes be taken at first."
Oh believe me I am aware it is not the majority. I just think the vocal minority have led many to be as I was when I first joined and they don't talk about it. There are so many times I have posted comments in threads and gotten negative responses but then other people have sent me private messages wanting to talk about the thing I mentioned or expressing it's nice to see others that enjoy it too. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"When I first joined I was a bit taken aback by how judgemental people could be so I became a bit secretive about some of the things I'm into. Now I don't give a shit. I just ignore the hate and if someone is put off meeting me because of things I have mentioned enjoying then they're probably not the right fit for me anyway
Best attitude to have - it amazes me sometimes just how judgemental a so called liberated and open lifestyle can be, although to be honest because of the nature of the site, and also the fact that the forums represent a very small percentage of the users, I think a skewed perception can sometimes be taken at first.
Oh believe me I am aware it is not the majority. I just think the vocal minority have led many to be as I was when I first joined and they don't talk about it. There are so many times I have posted comments in threads and gotten negative responses but then other people have sent me private messages wanting to talk about the thing I mentioned or expressing it's nice to see others that enjoy it too."
And it's sad that people feel they have to hide it away - I actually enjoy challenging people when negative responses are made about a particular like or preference, especially if it's something I am passionate about myself, but appreciate that it's not something all are comfortable doing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I’m more content, I admitted to myself I am bisexual, I have explored aspects of sex that I considered well beyond my boundaries and realised I’m still sexually attractive to some women.
|
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"When I first joined I was a bit taken aback by how judgemental people could be so I became a bit secretive about some of the things I'm into. Now I don't give a shit. I just ignore the hate and if someone is put off meeting me because of things I have mentioned enjoying then they're probably not the right fit for me anyway
Best attitude to have - it amazes me sometimes just how judgemental a so called liberated and open lifestyle can be, although to be honest because of the nature of the site, and also the fact that the forums represent a very small percentage of the users, I think a skewed perception can sometimes be taken at first.
Oh believe me I am aware it is not the majority. I just think the vocal minority have led many to be as I was when I first joined and they don't talk about it. There are so many times I have posted comments in threads and gotten negative responses but then other people have sent me private messages wanting to talk about the thing I mentioned or expressing it's nice to see others that enjoy it too.
And it's sad that people feel they have to hide it away - I actually enjoy challenging people when negative responses are made about a particular like or preference, especially if it's something I am passionate about myself, but appreciate that it's not something all are comfortable doing."
Me too. In many ways I have a level of priveldge in being a young woman and therefore inevitably getting a lot of attention so it's interesting to see the discomfort some have with realising that someone they consider attractive enjoys something they have associated with creepy perverts haha!
Someone on here I consider a friend actually started a post about their discomfort with porn where the actors pretend to be related and I confessed I actually enjoy that sort of roleplay. It led to a very interesting conversation both on the thread and in private about it. I think putting a real person to a kink can make them a little more real rather than it just being something you hear of people being into. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"When I first joined I was a bit taken aback by how judgemental people could be so I became a bit secretive about some of the things I'm into. Now I don't give a shit. I just ignore the hate and if someone is put off meeting me because of things I have mentioned enjoying then they're probably not the right fit for me anyway
Best attitude to have - it amazes me sometimes just how judgemental a so called liberated and open lifestyle can be, although to be honest because of the nature of the site, and also the fact that the forums represent a very small percentage of the users, I think a skewed perception can sometimes be taken at first.
Oh believe me I am aware it is not the majority. I just think the vocal minority have led many to be as I was when I first joined and they don't talk about it. There are so many times I have posted comments in threads and gotten negative responses but then other people have sent me private messages wanting to talk about the thing I mentioned or expressing it's nice to see others that enjoy it too.
And it's sad that people feel they have to hide it away - I actually enjoy challenging people when negative responses are made about a particular like or preference, especially if it's something I am passionate about myself, but appreciate that it's not something all are comfortable doing.
Me too. In many ways I have a level of priveldge in being a young woman and therefore inevitably getting a lot of attention so it's interesting to see the discomfort some have with realising that someone they consider attractive enjoys something they have associated with creepy perverts haha!
Someone on here I consider a friend actually started a post about their discomfort with porn where the actors pretend to be related and I confessed I actually enjoy that sort of roleplay. It led to a very interesting conversation both on the thread and in private about it. I think putting a real person to a kink can make them a little more real rather than it just being something you hear of people being into."
And that is part of the joy of the site - you can learn about things you don't necessarily relate to or understand - an example for me would be watersports, if you'd have asked me 4 years ago my reaction would have been "ewwwwww not for me" but having discussed it with various people here, and got a better understanding of the appeal, it still wouldn't feature on my bucket list but it also wouldn't be a complete turn off if a partner wanted to try it.
Zensual puts it really well when he says something along the lines of "your kink is not my kink but that's ok" |
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"When I first joined I was a bit taken aback by how judgemental people could be so I became a bit secretive about some of the things I'm into. Now I don't give a shit. I just ignore the hate and if someone is put off meeting me because of things I have mentioned enjoying then they're probably not the right fit for me anyway
Best attitude to have - it amazes me sometimes just how judgemental a so called liberated and open lifestyle can be, although to be honest because of the nature of the site, and also the fact that the forums represent a very small percentage of the users, I think a skewed perception can sometimes be taken at first.
Oh believe me I am aware it is not the majority. I just think the vocal minority have led many to be as I was when I first joined and they don't talk about it. There are so many times I have posted comments in threads and gotten negative responses but then other people have sent me private messages wanting to talk about the thing I mentioned or expressing it's nice to see others that enjoy it too.
And it's sad that people feel they have to hide it away - I actually enjoy challenging people when negative responses are made about a particular like or preference, especially if it's something I am passionate about myself, but appreciate that it's not something all are comfortable doing.
Me too. In many ways I have a level of priveldge in being a young woman and therefore inevitably getting a lot of attention so it's interesting to see the discomfort some have with realising that someone they consider attractive enjoys something they have associated with creepy perverts haha!
Someone on here I consider a friend actually started a post about their discomfort with porn where the actors pretend to be related and I confessed I actually enjoy that sort of roleplay. It led to a very interesting conversation both on the thread and in private about it. I think putting a real person to a kink can make them a little more real rather than it just being something you hear of people being into.
And that is part of the joy of the site - you can learn about things you don't necessarily relate to or understand - an example for me would be watersports, if you'd have asked me 4 years ago my reaction would have been "ewwwwww not for me" but having discussed it with various people here, and got a better understanding of the appeal, it still wouldn't feature on my bucket list but it also wouldn't be a complete turn off if a partner wanted to try it.
Zensual puts it really well when he says something along the lines of "your kink is not my kink but that's ok""
On the other hand it is totally okay for things to not be for everyone. Very few things are. Just if people are into some of the more niche things some people think it is okay to be nasty about it or say there is something wrong with people who enjoy it. I have dated people with kinks that aren't for me. I don't engage in them with them but I also don't judge them for having indulged in them before.
Yes, it's a wonderful phrase! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When I first joined I was a bit taken aback by how judgemental people could be so I became a bit secretive about some of the things I'm into. Now I don't give a shit. I just ignore the hate and if someone is put off meeting me because of things I have mentioned enjoying then they're probably not the right fit for me anyway
Best attitude to have - it amazes me sometimes just how judgemental a so called liberated and open lifestyle can be, although to be honest because of the nature of the site, and also the fact that the forums represent a very small percentage of the users, I think a skewed perception can sometimes be taken at first.
Oh believe me I am aware it is not the majority. I just think the vocal minority have led many to be as I was when I first joined and they don't talk about it. There are so many times I have posted comments in threads and gotten negative responses but then other people have sent me private messages wanting to talk about the thing I mentioned or expressing it's nice to see others that enjoy it too.
And it's sad that people feel they have to hide it away - I actually enjoy challenging people when negative responses are made about a particular like or preference, especially if it's something I am passionate about myself, but appreciate that it's not something all are comfortable doing.
Me too. In many ways I have a level of priveldge in being a young woman and therefore inevitably getting a lot of attention so it's interesting to see the discomfort some have with realising that someone they consider attractive enjoys something they have associated with creepy perverts haha!
Someone on here I consider a friend actually started a post about their discomfort with porn where the actors pretend to be related and I confessed I actually enjoy that sort of roleplay. It led to a very interesting conversation both on the thread and in private about it. I think putting a real person to a kink can make them a little more real rather than it just being something you hear of people being into.
And that is part of the joy of the site - you can learn about things you don't necessarily relate to or understand - an example for me would be watersports, if you'd have asked me 4 years ago my reaction would have been "ewwwwww not for me" but having discussed it with various people here, and got a better understanding of the appeal, it still wouldn't feature on my bucket list but it also wouldn't be a complete turn off if a partner wanted to try it.
Zensual puts it really well when he says something along the lines of "your kink is not my kink but that's ok"
On the other hand it is totally okay for things to not be for everyone. Very few things are. Just if people are into some of the more niche things some people think it is okay to be nasty about it or say there is something wrong with people who enjoy it. I have dated people with kinks that aren't for me. I don't engage in them with them but I also don't judge them for having indulged in them before.
Yes, it's a wonderful phrase!"
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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago
Filthy Fuckeryville |
"Late to the party.
I've seen you change - and that's predominantly from a distance OP.
Me? I certainly have in my lengthy time on here. Partly cause of fab, and partly just getting older. I'm more confident for sure, but sadly also more distrusting
Is that tree that you're watching me from comfy?
I do think that fab has a dual effect of boosting a person's confidence and increasing their distrust. "
That makes me sound well creepy ya bugger!! |
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