FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Bi guys: whats it like?
Bi guys: whats it like?
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By *aysol OP Couple
over a year ago
Swansea |
Just wondering what its like to be a single bi guy on here.
There seems to be a lot more bi guys that will admit it on here. Our inbox gets inundated with straight guys in public who say they are bi in private.
Do bi guys get turned down by straight people? Would you turn a bi guy down solely for being bi?
Also there are a lot of bi guys in relationships who hide their bisexuality. Females: would you go out with a bi guy? If not, why not? What would you do if you found out your boyfriend was secretly bi? I understand why guys hide their bisexuality as I did at the beginning of the relationship, but never cheated as I wouldn't do that. I'm perfectly content with my gorgeoua girlfriend. Even if Im attracted to hor guys doesn't mean I don't find her 100 percent attractive and would be perfectly happy if I never fucked anyone else again.
What I find bad is the deciet, but if women and men embraced bisexuality more there would be less deciet. However, it's not an excuse to cheat!
A lot of questions I know. Hopefully it will be an interesting discussion. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"yes I'd date a bi man. haven't an issue with it at all
a slight niggle at the back of my mind might be that I wasn't enough to satisfy him fully"
Isn't that the same for guys with bi ladies though? |
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"yes I'd date a bi man. haven't an issue with it at all
a slight niggle at the back of my mind might be that I wasn't enough to satisfy him fully"
Would that be the same with a straight male and a bisexual lady? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"yes I'd date a bi man. haven't an issue with it at all
a slight niggle at the back of my mind might be that I wasn't enough to satisfy him fully
Isn't that the same for guys with bi ladies though? "
don't know as im not bi |
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"yes I'd date a bi man. haven't an issue with it at all
a slight niggle at the back of my mind might be that I wasn't enough to satisfy him fully
Isn't that the same for guys with bi ladies though? "
Damn, ya beat me to it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"yes I'd date a bi man. haven't an issue with it at all
a slight niggle at the back of my mind might be that I wasn't enough to satisfy him fully
Would that be the same with a straight male and a bisexual lady? "
can't answer that as im not bi |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think I'm bi but I haven't done anything with a guy to say I'm bi so it states I'm straight on my profile but I think am but I feel early doors I would still hide it just for my own discretion |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
There's a lot of questions there OP...
I've been 'out' as a bi guy for years on here, both as part of a couple and as a single. Yes there are those that won't meet bi guys for a variety of reasons varying from preference through to downright phobia.
I do wish that more were honest, fab straight is a real bugbear of mine but I can't change opinions or attitudes, no matter the lies they're built on.
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"yes I'd date a bi man. haven't an issue with it at all
a slight niggle at the back of my mind might be that I wasn't enough to satisfy him fully
Would that be the same with a straight male and a bisexual lady?
can't answer that as im not bi"
That's fair enough, I'm not directly asking you from your personal experience. I'm just saying that it's the same thing. |
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I generally don't look for straight couples so it's never really a huge problem for me.
I'm open about my sexual preferences so if a 'straight' couple expresses and interest in me I generally find that they're 'fab straight'.
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By *akboyMan
over a year ago
birmingham |
Yeah curious/bi guys for sure do get turned down more so understand why people don't advertise it, but I joined here to explore both so no point being dishonest on fab otherwise guys wouldn't look. Some write straight on here and then use fabguys for their bi side |
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What you need to remember is that people saying "I'm/we're not meeting you because you are bi" might just be using that because they think it sounds better than were not meeting you because you're ugly.
Which i suppose it does
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By *aysol OP Couple
over a year ago
Swansea |
"What you need to remember is that people saying "I'm/we're not meeting you because you are bi" might just be using that because they think it sounds better than were not meeting you because you're ugly.
Which i suppose it does
"
Haha but why lie? Just delete then or block then. Better than lies IMO |
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By *hoot45Man
over a year ago
Ramsgate |
I started off by meeting only gay guys but I’ve met more and more guys who are bi but keep it discreet. Most of the guys I meet now are bi and a few are good buddies. I find bi guys much more open and relaxed about having fun with other blokes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you have sex with men you are not straight, end off. Therefore you lie if that's on your profile, for what ever your reasons. Now if that does not involve other people it's your choice, but when you choose to involve others your untruth could be significant for them, that's the difference.
I was with a guy for some time I met on here, straight on profile (still is) then I was told he was on other sites. Yes veris with men/saunas. As it happens I don't mind bi men but I do lies, especially if it could have implication to my health. |
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By *ullpa72Man
over a year ago
Isle of Arran |
I am openly bi ,not had any real Hassel but do miss out on some possible meets .But on the flip side I get a lot of invites from guys .just wish we could all be a little more accepting of others . |
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"Some write straight on here and then use fabguys for their bi side"
I'm not on fabguys, but I know someone who has 2 profiles on here, one stating that he is straight, and another where he is bi. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If the bad bi guys didn't fuck around behind their partner's back and think it was ok to grab a straight man's cock, there wouldn't be such bad feeling about bi guys in general.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"yes I'd date a bi man. haven't an issue with it at all
a slight niggle at the back of my mind might be that I wasn't enough to satisfy him fully
Isn't that the same for guys with bi ladies though? "
I see both sides of this
I guess its really not any different to even thinking how can i be enough to fully satisfy my straight partner forever ... which most people accept as a given when they settle down and get married, wether it be the lack of other women or men, they have committed to only you going forward (excluding swinging relationships obviously)
But the human brain can so easily let us focus on the small negative and i too would probably have the niggle knowing i could never fulfil some of their desires |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you have sex with men you are not straight, end off. Therefore you lie if that's on your profile, for what ever your reasons. Now if that does not involve other people it's your choice, but when you choose to involve others your untruth could be significant for them, that's the difference.
I was with a guy for some time I met on here, straight on profile (still is) then I was told he was on other sites. Yes veris with men/saunas. As it happens I don't mind bi men but I do lies, especially if it could have implication to my health. "
What implications could it have to your health? If you mean lying about having an std or lying about being monogamous then fair enough yes ... but for lying about sleeping with men no... there is no such thing as an std that comes only from being bi/ gay |
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"If the bad bi guys didn't fuck around behind their partner's back and think it was ok to grab a straight man's cock, there wouldn't be such bad feeling about bi guys in general.
"
Am I a good bi guy then, as I don't go around grabbing random stranger's cocks  |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"If you have sex with men you are not straight, end off. Therefore you lie if that's on your profile, for what ever your reasons. Now if that does not involve other people it's your choice, but when you choose to involve others your untruth could be significant for them, that's the difference.
I was with a guy for some time I met on here, straight on profile (still is) then I was told he was on other sites. Yes veris with men/saunas. As it happens I don't mind bi men but I do lies, especially if it could have implication to my health.
What implications could it have to your health? If you mean lying about having an std or lying about being monogamous then fair enough yes ... but for lying about sleeping with men no... there is no such thing as an std that comes only from being bi/ gay "
The stigma that bi men are higher risk is still very much prevalent. In reality they feature in the same group as sexually promiscuous people and swingers. Perception is a difficult thing to change though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Labels can help some but for others can just be confusing.
I don't think being bi has anything to do with being more likely to cheat either.
I think it's narrow minded to think that some guys lie an say their bi to get the woman or won't be able to keep their hands off a straight guy.
Trying talking to people and asking and airing your concerns rather than having a blanket view point. |
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By *aysol OP Couple
over a year ago
Swansea |
"Labels can help some but for others can just be confusing.
I don't think being bi has anything to do with being more likely to cheat either.
I think it's narrow minded to think that some guys lie an say their bi to get the woman or won't be able to keep their hands off a straight guy.
Trying talking to people and asking and airing your concerns rather than having a blanket view point."
Exactly. Female bisexuality is accepted as a given almost but male is still regarded as a cover up or something. A lot of men just enjoy sucking a hard cock, a lot don't. However, a lot more do than people realise!
Im naturally dominant with my girlfriend and submissive to guys. Most people have a mixture of dominant/submissive with most having a strong leaning one way or the other. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm bi. Up until a couple of years ago I had always been in long term relationships with women.
I never had the courage to tell any of my girlfriends. Unlike some guys that cheat to try out their bi side, I waited until I was single to give it a go.
I'm glad I did, I still far more prefer women, but it opens up far more possibilities regarding meeting couples with a bi fella.
Knowing that some women like to see two men get it on is a big turn on. Adding a woman into the equation is even more exciting.
It's still early days for me on here as only just started to look for couples as I wanted to feel comfortable with men first.
Taking the steady approach, one step at a time..... |
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By *aysol OP Couple
over a year ago
Swansea |
"If you have sex with men you are not straight, end off. Therefore you lie if that's on your profile, for what ever your reasons. Now if that does not involve other people it's your choice, but when you choose to involve others your untruth could be significant for them, that's the difference.
I was with a guy for some time I met on here, straight on profile (still is) then I was told he was on other sites. Yes veris with men/saunas. As it happens I don't mind bi men but I do lies, especially if it could have implication to my health.
What implications could it have to your health? If you mean lying about having an std or lying about being monogamous then fair enough yes ... but for lying about sleeping with men no... there is no such thing as an std that comes only from being bi/ gay
The stigma that bi men are higher risk is still very much prevalent. In reality they feature in the same group as sexually promiscuous people and swingers. Perception is a difficult thing to change though"
Exactly. Some bi's only like oral. I've heard the term 'orally bisexual' here for the first time. But bis that do anal, as long as they always use protection whats the problem? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is an issue that I have been wondering about. As a bi guy I like to meet couples with bi males and love it. But I feel a lot of straight couples are put off by it.  |
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A lot of men contact me saying they are secretly bi when they have straight on their profile. I won’t say who. Bro’ code, ya know.
I don’t meet people who don’t want to meet bi men so my experience on here has been very good. I must say, I’ve never seen the wives so sexually turned on watching their husband with me and can’t wait to get us both paying attention to her.
It’s awesome being bi.
I was straight until aged about 40. |
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We are both bi, him definitely him more so than her. We have social swinger friends that won’t play with him as a result, that’s fine; everyone has a preference.
We do get lots of messages from “straight” guys wanting to fuck us both. It’s all personal preference.
Being a bi guy is definitely more difficult at times than being straight or gay. There are instances where both groups look down on bi guys. Ultimately it doesn’t matter, sex is sex and there is plenty on offer .
That said my wife is often frustrated at bi or gay guys that won’t fuck me whilst she watches.... |
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Im not a bi guy but i was married to one and my partner of nearly 14 years is bi. When i met my ex husband i sussed straight away he was bi and within 2 weeks he had told me with me steering the conversation. He was very bi i would say 70% men 30% wonen. I did believe if i expected him to be faithful to me he wouldnt be getting all his needs met so i addressed it early on. We where engaged within three months so knew right away we would get married. We discussed him having a male lover and thats exactly what he did. We found a guy together and we all got on well and he became a "third" in our marriage quite hip and trendy 30 years ago. The guy used to come over once a month to see my ex husband and sometimes id join in sometimes id watch and sometimes id leave them to it depending on how we where feeling. For us it worked perfectly and was the ideal situation for him to get all his sexual needs met |
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"I'm a bi male and find it hard to meet women and couples I think if you get with a straight couple the man thinks you want a piece of him as well"
I don’t know why straight men think that. It’s arrogant and a huge mistake to imagine I for one fancy the bloke. I can well keep my hands off a man. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm a bi male and find it hard to meet women and couples I think if you get with a straight couple the man thinks you want a piece of him as well
I don’t know why straight men think that. It’s arrogant and a huge mistake to imagine I for one fancy the bloke. I can well keep my hands off a man. "
Another way of looking at this is do soft swap couples reject full swap couples because they dont believe they will stick to the agreed boundaries? Because really thats all it is , telling the bi guy sorry that type of play is not our thing and off the table but happy to play i other ways |
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"I'm a bi male and find it hard to meet women and couples I think if you get with a straight couple the man thinks you want a piece of him as well
I don’t know why straight men think that. It’s arrogant and a huge mistake to imagine I for one fancy the bloke. I can well keep my hands off a man.
Another way of looking at this is do soft swap couples reject full swap couples because they dont believe they will stick to the agreed boundaries? Because really thats all it is , telling the bi guy sorry that type of play is not our thing and off the table but happy to play i other ways "
Exactly. It assumes I can’t stick to boundaries which I find ignorantly arrogant. Or arrogantly ignorant. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm a bi male and find it hard to meet women and couples I think if you get with a straight couple the man thinks you want a piece of him as well
I don’t know why straight men think that. It’s arrogant and a huge mistake to imagine I for one fancy the bloke. I can well keep my hands off a man.
Another way of looking at this is do soft swap couples reject full swap couples because they dont believe they will stick to the agreed boundaries? Because really thats all it is , telling the bi guy sorry that type of play is not our thing and off the table but happy to play i other ways
Exactly. It assumes I can’t stick to boundaries which I find ignorantly arrogant. Or arrogantly ignorant. "
I do think its probably more about their fragile masculinity making them scared though than what they think of you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you have sex with men you are not straight, end off. Therefore you lie if that's on your profile, for what ever your reasons. Now if that does not involve other people it's your choice, but when you choose to involve others your untruth could be significant for them, that's the difference.
I was with a guy for some time I met on here, straight on profile (still is) then I was told he was on other sites. Yes veris with men/saunas. As it happens I don't mind bi men but I do lies, especially if it could have implication to my health.
What implications could it have to your health? If you mean lying about having an std or lying about being monogamous then fair enough yes ... but for lying about sleeping with men no... there is no such thing as an std that comes only from being bi/ gay "
Amen. Took the words out of my mouth. Might want to reflect on your own bias. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I didn't play with my first cock until I was 38. I was genuinely worried that it would change me in some fundamental way and people would notice. Nothing changed. Im still the same. My doubts and fears suddenly seemed rediculous. |
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By *ullpa72Man
over a year ago
Isle of Arran |
"We are both bi, him definitely him more so than her. We have social swinger friends that won’t play with him as a result, that’s fine; everyone has a preference.
We do get lots of messages from “straight” guys wanting to fuck us both. It’s all personal preference.
Being a bi guy is definitely more difficult at times than being straight or gay. There are instances where both groups look down on bi guys. Ultimately it doesn’t matter, sex is sex and there is plenty on offer.
That said my wife is often frustrated at bi or gay guys that won’t fuck me whilst she watches...."
That's Thier loss personally I love couples .best of both worlds .as for putting on a show for the wife !why not it's the same as being in a club play room where you could have a dozen or more watching. |
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Why do people seem to think that if someone is bi then they can’t be faithful to a partner? If in a straight couple the man is straight does that mean he will be unable to resist fucking other women? Of course not. So why if he is bi should it mean he will be unable to resit fucking men . Faithfulness has nothing to do with being gay bi or straight. According to Kinsey everyone is to some extent bi. Personally I regard myself as 80percent straight, but why on earth is it an issue. We are all humans. We enjoy sex. We enjoy intimacy. What difference does it make whether it’s with a man or a woman, or someone in between. |
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I enjoy sex with bi guys it's all sex and fun.
I have tried to find suitable playmates for bi mmf and just mmf in general.
A few straight guys have said they would enjoy mmf if the guy wasn't bi but my preference is bi mmf.
I think it boils down to the guys worrying that bi and gay men would treat them as they themselves treat women. Fear of their own behavior mirrored.
All the bi men I've known would respect the fact a straight guy doesn't want their cock or body touched or gobbled on.
Also add that some straight guys are afraid of their own feelings of actually wanting it and afraid to admit it.
It's taken years for people to accept being gay or lesbian is fine. But theres still the issue of being pansexual and bisexual that people still have issues with. Things like it's a phase/fad, or their confused or more likely to cheat blah blah blah
To me sex is sex if it's enjoyable then who cares, can enjoy sex but not have emotional attachment to people what ever gender. There's a lot of straight guys who make gay porn!
Being what ever sexuality a person is tells you who that person has an attraction to and ability to make a loving bond with. Rest is just pleasure. Look at how many on here would play with the same gender but never date or contemplate a relationship with someone of the same gender.
As long as it's legal and moral and you enjoy it, carry on enjoying it.
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By *ullpa72Man
over a year ago
Isle of Arran |
Totally agree with NYX .for me gender is not an issue ,just wether I fancy them or not .That attraction can change as the night goes on depending on my mood (must be getting in touch with my femanin side ).oops I am now off to the hills for a few days peace and quiet !! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I enjoy sex with bi guys it's all sex and fun.
I have tried to find suitable playmates for bi mmf and just mmf in general.
A few straight guys have said they would enjoy mmf if the guy wasn't bi but my preference is bi mmf.
I think it boils down to the guys worrying that bi and gay men would treat them as they themselves treat women. Fear of their own behavior mirrored.
All the bi men I've known would respect the fact a straight guy doesn't want their cock or body touched or gobbled on.
Also add that some straight guys are afraid of their own feelings of actually wanting it and afraid to admit it.
It's taken years for people to accept being gay or lesbian is fine. But theres still the issue of being pansexual and bisexual that people still have issues with. Things like it's a phase/fad, or their confused or more likely to cheat blah blah blah
To me sex is sex if it's enjoyable then who cares, can enjoy sex but not have emotional attachment to people what ever gender. There's a lot of straight guys who make gay porn!
Being what ever sexuality a person is tells you who that person has an attraction to and ability to make a loving bond with. Rest is just pleasure. Look at how many on here would play with the same gender but never date or contemplate a relationship with someone of the same gender.
As long as it's legal and moral and you enjoy it, carry on enjoying it.
"
Well said  |
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By *aysol OP Couple
over a year ago
Swansea |
"Seems odd to me maybe I’m too simple but being straight I wouldn’t think twice if a lady was bi or not. If I liked her?
"
The problem is pejudice. A lot of people still think that if you do anything gay at all, you are gay. As in you're either gay or straight. People equate manliness to straightness, and I get it but there isnt always a correlation. Also theres the whole stigma of gay being at higher risk of HIV, but really thats stupid. Get tested if you're worried! Simple.
Funny thing is I've seen a lot of biphobia in gay forums about all the steriotypes. You would have thought they would be the last people to be prejudice but you'd be wrong. |
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By *aysol OP Couple
over a year ago
Swansea |
"One thing that does bug me is when people, male and female, use bisexuality as an excuse for cheating. "
Agreed. It isnt an excuse. Man up and admit your truth. I know thats easier said then done but it needs to be said. |
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By *adetMan
over a year ago
South of Ipswich |
"Seems odd to me maybe I’m too simple but being straight I wouldn’t think twice if a lady was bi or not. If I liked her?
The problem is pejudice. A lot of people still think that if you do anything gay at all, you are gay. As in you're either gay or straight. People equate manliness to straightness, and I get it but there isnt always a correlation. Also theres the whole stigma of gay being at higher risk of HIV, but really thats stupid. Get tested if you're worried! Simple.
Funny thing is I've seen a lot of biphobia in gay forums about all the steriotypes. You would have thought they would be the last people to be prejudice but you'd be wrong."
Exactly this |
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It has its moments
I can semi understand why their may be prejudice though, there is a feeling that bi guys will go with men just for the sex and not because they are sexually or actually personally attracted to the other person, and if truth be known I’ve experienced that.
Also I find it quite disappointing when I look at the pics of male male sex on here and see an awful lot of unprotected anal sex between guys, again this perpetuates the perception of an extremely promiscuous and risky lifestyle.
These are just observations and by no means am I suggesting this is the norm but they can’t be overlooked.
As a bi guy myself, I don’t mind overtly bi or gay guys, it’s just when they ran it down your throat. |
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"It has its moments
I can semi understand why their may be prejudice though, there is a feeling that bi guys will go with men just for the sex and not because they are sexually or actually personally attracted to the other person, and if truth be known I’ve experienced that.
Also I find it quite disappointing when I look at the pics of male male sex on here and see an awful lot of unprotected anal sex between guys, again this perpetuates the perception of an extremely promiscuous and risky lifestyle.
These are just observations and by no means am I suggesting this is the norm but they can’t be overlooked.
As a bi guy myself, I don’t mind overtly bi or gay guys, it’s just when they ran it down your throat. "
Ram it down your throat not ran. Good joke ruined by a typo.  |
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By *adetMan
over a year ago
South of Ipswich |
"It has its moments
I can semi understand why their may be prejudice though, there is a feeling that bi guys will go with men just for the sex and not because they are sexually or actually personally attracted to the other person, and if truth be known I’ve experienced that.
Also I find it quite disappointing when I look at the pics of male male sex on here and see an awful lot of unprotected anal sex between guys, again this perpetuates the perception of an extremely promiscuous and risky lifestyle.
These are just observations and by no means am I suggesting this is the norm but they can’t be overlooked.
As a bi guy myself, I don’t mind overtly bi or gay guys, it’s just when they ran it down your throat.
Ram it down your throat not ran. Good joke ruined by a typo. "
We knew what you meant Fiddle |
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By *aysol OP Couple
over a year ago
Swansea |
I was very confused today when I read a profile that said they are not attracted to guys at all but it is a massive turn sexually, then went on to say what his type was. Sorry, that doesnt add up at all. You have to want the cock or you dont! I do get that its more of a kink for some people though. Like the fact that they aren't supposed to have sex with a guy so it's hot for that reason. But my other thought is are these people buying into the belief that it has to be one or the other and if they are attracted to women they definately can't be attracted to men at the same time?
I was confused for ages because I'd swing from thinking I was gay to thinking I was straight because of this mentality. I also go through stages of being more into women or more into men. |
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By *adetMan
over a year ago
South of Ipswich |
Most of the guys I've met have been straight. They're usually just looking to receive oral and would never reciprocate. I'm not sure this really counts as bi, I think they're just very horny |
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"Most of the guys I've met have been straight. They're usually just looking to receive oral and would never reciprocate. I'm not sure this really counts as bi, I think they're just very horny "
Agreed, an erect cock has no "standards" for some guys. |
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I'm Bi and openly so in my profile and messaging.
I have met Straight/Bi/Bi-curious/Gay and Fab Straight singles and couples over the years. I am very open minded and liberated. Respect everyone's wishes and desires, but feel a lot of people are missing out due to their inhibitions/phobias |
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By *ullpa72Man
over a year ago
Isle of Arran |
"Im not a bi guy but i was married to one and my partner of nearly 14 years is bi. When i met my ex husband i sussed straight away he was bi and within 2 weeks he had told me with me steering the conversation. He was very bi i would say 70% men 30% wonen. I did believe if i expected him to be faithful to me he wouldnt be getting all his needs met so i addressed it early on. We where engaged within three months so knew right away we would get married. We discussed him having a male lover and thats exactly what he did. We found a guy together and we all got on well and he became a "third" in our marriage quite hip and trendy 30 years ago. The guy used to come over once a month to see my ex husband and sometimes id join in sometimes id watch and sometimes id leave them to it depending on how we where feeling. For us it worked perfectly and was the ideal situation for him to get all his sexual needs met"
THis has to be the most loving and caring post on fab ,wish I could have been brave enough to have tried this with my late wife .all those years of denial need not have been
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