I have read all of the replies above and it seems , to me , that people are slightly confused on what forgiveness is, who is it is for or who benefits from it.
It can be quite arrogant to assume that another person wants you to forgive them or that they must be forgiven in order for them to be absolved/understood about an action they have done.
Forgiveness is for the forgiver.... to give them peace to enable them to move on. It's really nothing to do with or for the 'wrong' doer.
Just because you perceive that you have been wronged doesn't mean that the 'doer' believes they have wronged you.
Tricky |
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"Too many people use sorry as a get out of jail free card for bad behaviour. Don’t be sorry.. be a better person.. "
I agree that apologies that are just words are meaningless.
I also think it is unneccessary to apologise when someone demands an apology because in their mind they have been badly done to. |
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"Too many people use sorry as a get out of jail free card for bad behaviour. Don’t be sorry.. be a better person..
I agree that apologies that are just words are meaningless.
I also think it is unneccessary to apologise when someone demands an apology because in their mind they have been badly done to. "
Agreed.. it’s got to be genuine and based on a clear understanding of what’s being apologised for. Without that it’s just pointless. |
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No point in an apology if they don’t mean it, just useless words.
Depending on the situation I’ll file it away and move on, don’t let someone else’s wrong doing eat you up, it’s not worth the energy |
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"No point in an apology if they don’t mean it, just useless words.
Depending on the situation I’ll file it away and move on, don’t let someone else’s wrong doing eat you up, it’s not worth the energy "
Exactly.. once you’ve heard enough it’s time to seal the box and chuck it on the bonfire.. works for me  |
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"No point in an apology if they don’t mean it, just useless words.
Depending on the situation I’ll file it away and move on, don’t let someone else’s wrong doing eat you up, it’s not worth the energy
Exactly.. once you’ve heard enough it’s time to seal the box and chuck it on the bonfire.. works for me "
.... and blow away the ashes  |
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"No point in an apology if they don’t mean it, just useless words.
Depending on the situation I’ll file it away and move on, don’t let someone else’s wrong doing eat you up, it’s not worth the energy
Exactly.. once you’ve heard enough it’s time to seal the box and chuck it on the bonfire.. works for me
.... and blow away the ashes "
On a cliff on a very windy day  |
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"No point in an apology if they don’t mean it, just useless words.
Depending on the situation I’ll file it away and move on, don’t let someone else’s wrong doing eat you up, it’s not worth the energy
Exactly.. once you’ve heard enough it’s time to seal the box and chuck it on the bonfire.. works for me
.... and blow away the ashes
On a cliff on a very windy day "
That sounds to idyllic |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it really ever enough to get over a situation when you have felt you have been wronged.
I am a forgiver. What are you? "
well I've never been forgiven every  |
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"No point in an apology if they don’t mean it, just useless words.
Depending on the situation I’ll file it away and move on, don’t let someone else’s wrong doing eat you up, it’s not worth the energy
Exactly.. once you’ve heard enough it’s time to seal the box and chuck it on the bonfire.. works for me
.... and blow away the ashes
On a cliff on a very windy day
That sounds to idyllic "
Well there’s got to be a bit of self enjoyment involved... whilst cackling like a witch |
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"No point in an apology if they don’t mean it, just useless words.
Depending on the situation I’ll file it away and move on, don’t let someone else’s wrong doing eat you up, it’s not worth the energy
Exactly.. once you’ve heard enough it’s time to seal the box and chuck it on the bonfire.. works for me
.... and blow away the ashes
On a cliff on a very windy day
That sounds to idyllic
Well there’s got to be a bit of self enjoyment involved... whilst cackling like a witch "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it really ever enough to get over a situation when you have felt you have been wronged.
I am a forgiver. What are you? "
I forgive but don't forget. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I try and forgive and move on but i feel that's for me and my mental state rather than anyone elses. But there are some things that can't be forgiven or forgotten. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it really ever enough to get over a situation when you have felt you have been wronged.
I am a forgiver. What are you? "
Depends on the context. Usually ok a forgiven (after a while) but some people are unforgivable. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is it really ever enough to get over a situation when you have felt you have been wronged.
I am a forgiver. What are you?
Depends on the context. Usually ok a forgiven (after a while) but some people are unforgivable."
I hope I never feel like this about anyone.
I am being pushed at the moment |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends.
There are people I will not forgive.
I won't forgive my ex for the abuse I suffered for years.
I won't forgive the person who saw getting B away from me and into bed with her as a competition she intended to win.
I will forgive judgement errors if the person realises they've made a bad call, but no way will I forgive those who see no wrong in their actions, or even when they do know what they're doing is wrong or twisted and sick, they CHOOSE to do those things anyway. Those people are choosing to hurt you, choosing to be evil.
P |
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"Depends.
There are people I will not forgive.
I won't forgive my ex for the abuse I suffered for years.
I won't forgive the person who saw getting B away from me and into bed with her as a competition she intended to win.
I will forgive judgement errors if the person realises they've made a bad call, but no way will I forgive those who see no wrong in their actions, or even when they do know what they're doing is wrong or twisted and sick, they CHOOSE to do those things anyway. Those people are choosing to hurt you, choosing to be evil.
P"
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By *onty1971Man
over a year ago
London St Helier Trier |
"Mostly yes.. if it’s vindictive no. Forgiveness doesn’t bring me closure. Moving on does. "
Exactly. You have to move.
Waste time and emotion on the past. We do it too much. We dwell too long on the negative. |
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By *onty1971Man
over a year ago
London St Helier Trier |
"I try and forgive and move on but i feel that's for me and my mental state rather than anyone elses. But there are some things that can't be forgiven or forgotten. "
Good way to progress and move on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mostly yes.. if it’s vindictive no. Forgiveness doesn’t bring me closure. Moving on does.
Exactly. You have to move.
Waste time and emotion on the past. We do it too much. We dwell too long on the negative."
You can move on without forgiving. You can accept something has happened and move on, you don't have to forgive tho. To me forgiving is saying "you know what, that was a prick manoeuvre but it's ok"
Some things will never be ok, but you can move on from them.
P |
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Miss
