FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Who’s bad enough to jump on?
Who’s bad enough to jump on?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I was told to go to hell today in tescos as I was doing the big shop. I figure I’m already going there anyway, in fact I’m driving the bus! Who’s coming with? Tell me something reeeeealllyyyy bad that you’ve done and I may allow you on for the ride  |
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OK here goes.
Me banging on at my teenage sons to do their homework as soon as you get it so you have plenty of time for fun. Yes! 
Bad mum is on a course and had homework, did she do it the day she got it? Did she heck as like. 
She did it in the car on the way to the following week's lesson. 
D grassed me up too!
Surely we both deserve a seat?
Jo.Xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"OK here goes.
Me banging on at my teenage sons to do their homework as soon as you get it so you have plenty of time for fun. Yes!
Bad mum is on a course and had homework, did she do it the day she got it? Did she heck as like.
She did it in the car on the way to the following week's lesson.
D grassed me up too!
Surely we both deserve a seat?
Jo.Xx "
Haha. Wouldn’t be fun without you two! Jump on. But do your homework first |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Im a saint
. You’re my co-driver!
I one used the cruciatus curse on a customer 
The what now?the torture curse"
Ok. Not familiar with that but doesn’t sound too heavenly. On you get  |
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"OK here goes.
Me banging on at my teenage sons to do their homework as soon as you get it so you have plenty of time for fun. Yes!
Bad mum is on a course and had homework, did she do it the day she got it? Did she heck as like.
She did it in the car on the way to the following week's lesson.
D grassed me up too!
Surely we both deserve a seat?
Jo.Xx
Haha. Wouldn’t be fun without you two! Jump on. But do your homework first "
All done Miss.
*Jumps aboard and heads for the back seat at the top.
Jo.Xx |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
I once put my foot in front of a scooter that a kid was riding, he'd been picking on my daughter, he fell off the scooter and rolled down a small grass bank. Honestly, I'd do it again, it was hilarious. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I once put my foot in front of a scooter that a kid was riding, he'd been picking on my daughter, he fell off the scooter and rolled down a small grass bank. Honestly, I'd do it again, it was hilarious."
Bad but funny! On |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"I once put my foot in front of a scooter that a kid was riding, he'd been picking on my daughter, he fell off the scooter and rolled down a small grass bank. Honestly, I'd do it again, it was hilarious.
Bad but funny! On "
Yay! The little bastard deserved it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I told everyone that I was
............jesus once but that was just my Schizophrenia
luckily no one believed me
and I wasn't stoned to death 
it's funny everyone usually believes everything about me
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I pushed my daughter off a swing when she was 4 by pushing way too hard !"
Awwwww. It was accidental though I would imagine. I need something worse than that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I got my 3 yr old son to punch a kid in the throat who pushed him on a bouncy castle
 . You’re already on. Teach him to just walk away "
confession is good for the soul and no my boy will stand up for himself i dont breed cowards |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"When i was 14 i unhooked the battery on a kids wheelchair i do feel tight for that now tho
I was a horrible child"
Good lord. I think we may need to google somewhere else for you! Hell is too good! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I got my 3 yr old son to punch a kid in the throat who pushed him on a bouncy castle
. You’re already on. Teach him to just walk away confession is good for the soul and no my boy will stand up for himself i dont breed cowards"
School won’t see it like that. No matter who hits who first they’ll both be gone. I tend to agree but the authorities don’t. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When i was 14 i unhooked the battery on a kids wheelchair i do feel tight for that now tho
I was a horrible child
Good lord. I think we may need to google somewhere else for you! Hell is too good!"
i know tartarus maybe |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok didn’t want to admit this one but fucked my best friends boyfriend when I was 18
 . And there’s me thinking you were sweet! Get on that bus now!"
I am occasionally lol x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My ex was cheating on me. I found out. So I fucked his best mate and phoned him from the best friends bed to tell him what I'd done... (I was young...and a bitch!)
"
I love this! Here, sit next to me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Stolen my mum's knickers so that I could wear them....but I must add....someone instructed me to do so...so really I should be going to heaven for doing as I'm told |
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"My ex was cheating on me. I found out. So I fucked his best mate and phoned him from the best friends bed to tell him what I'd done... (I was young...and a bitch!)
I love this! Here, sit next to me "
Mwah-ha-ha why thank you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Stolen my mum's knickers so that I could wear them....but I must add....someone instructed me to do so...so really I should be going to heaven for doing as I'm told "
Give me something worse |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Stolen my mum's knickers so that I could wear them....but I must add....someone instructed me to do so...so really I should be going to heaven for doing as I'm told
Give me something worse"
Borrowed a toy off her she was on holiday in Spain and I was house sitting. I cleaned it before and after |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Stolen my mum's knickers so that I could wear them....but I must add....someone instructed me to do so...so really I should be going to heaven for doing as I'm told
Give me something worse
Borrowed a toy off her she was on holiday in Spain and I was house sitting. I cleaned it before and after "
Good grief! Wish I’d let you on first time!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Stolen my mum's knickers so that I could wear them....but I must add....someone instructed me to do so...so really I should be going to heaven for doing as I'm told
Give me something worse
Borrowed a toy off her she was on holiday in Spain and I was house sitting. I cleaned it before and after
Good grief! Wish I’d let you on first time!! "
I tried to hold back....you forced me into saying it lol! Not proud of it...I was very very horny and quite d*unk |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Got hammered with my best friend, spent the night going through the karma sutra in the honeymoon suite of a hotel. She went off to get married after that, wasn't to me though! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Got hammered with my best friend, spent the night going through the karma sutra in the honeymoon suite of a hotel. She went off to get married after that, wasn't to me though! "
. You deserve a seat for that |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I sometimes puff my tummy out, lean back and rub my tummy when I want a seat on the tube.
Does that get me a seat? "
Hahahahaha. That’s too funny! When I saw your name I thought nah she can’t do anything bad! You’re on! Surely Ash can’t top that! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I once sold two dumb arse students a Smint for £10 each when they asked me if I had any 'tabs' outside a nightclub. Does that count or was it justice  "
I love these! We may need a double decker! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I sometimes puff my tummy out, lean back and rub my tummy when I want a seat on the tube.
Does that get me a seat?
Hahahahaha. That’s too funny! When I saw your name I thought nah she can’t do anything bad! You’re on! Surely Ash can’t top that!"
Nope he's a bloody Saint!
Seriously a nicer, kinder man with a swimming pool of tolarance and patience you will not find. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I sometimes puff my tummy out, lean back and rub my tummy when I want a seat on the tube.
Does that get me a seat?
Hahahahaha. That’s too funny! When I saw your name I thought nah she can’t do anything bad! You’re on! Surely Ash can’t top that!
Nope he's a bloody Saint!
Seriously a nicer, kinder man with a swimming pool of tolarance and patience you will not find. "
I knew that without even meeting him!  give me another as good as that for you and you can bring him! I can’t possible take one of you! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I want to come on ...
Oh Babs. You’ve no chance!
It’s not fair! I’m going to hang around until someone sneaks me on "
There must be just one bad thing you can think of! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Had sex with someone I definitely shouldn’t have done, led a few younger guys astray
I know you. You’re on anyway!!
Do I get a VIP ticket? "
Absofuckinlutely |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I want to come on ...
Oh Babs. You’ve no chance!
It’s not fair! I’m going to hang around until someone sneaks me on
There must be just one bad thing you can think of!"
She makes handsome men seductively eat sweet treats, describing in detail how he should eat said treat for her and other ladies pleasure!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I sometimes puff my tummy out, lean back and rub my tummy when I want a seat on the tube.
Does that get me a seat?
Hahahahaha. That’s too funny! When I saw your name I thought nah she can’t do anything bad! You’re on! Surely Ash can’t top that!
Nope he's a bloody Saint!
Seriously a nicer, kinder man with a swimming pool of tolarance and patience you will not find.
I knew that without even meeting him! give me another as good as that for you and you can bring him! I can’t possible take one of you!"
He give me his chocolate! You can't separate us! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I want to come on ...
Oh Babs. You’ve no chance!
It’s not fair! I’m going to hang around until someone sneaks me on
There must be just one bad thing you can think of!
She makes handsome men seductively eat sweet treats, describing in detail how he should eat said treat for her and other ladies pleasure! "
Oh you beat me to it! |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
"I want to come on ...
Oh Babs. You’ve no chance!
It’s not fair! I’m going to hang around until someone sneaks me on
There must be just one bad thing you can think of!"
I once went ice skating and a man fell over in front of me. I can’t skate, I just about get by really but for some unknown reason instead of stopping or going around him I decided to jump over him all I remember was me landing flat on his back and him spread eagled on the ice groaning. He had to be carried off |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I want to come on ...
Oh Babs. You’ve no chance!
It’s not fair! I’m going to hang around until someone sneaks me on
There must be just one bad thing you can think of!
She makes handsome men seductively eat sweet treats, describing in detail how he should eat said treat for her and other ladies pleasure!
Oh you beat me to it! "
If she can do that on the bus she’s in! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I want to come on ...
Oh Babs. You’ve no chance!
It’s not fair! I’m going to hang around until someone sneaks me on
There must be just one bad thing you can think of!
I once went ice skating and a man fell over in front of me. I can’t skate, I just about get by really but for some unknown reason instead of stopping or going around him I decided to jump over him all I remember was me landing flat on his back and him spread eagled on the ice groaning. He had to be carried off "
Hahahaha. Step on |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I sometimes puff my tummy out, lean back and rub my tummy when I want a seat on the tube.
Does that get me a seat?
Hahahahaha. That’s too funny! When I saw your name I thought nah she can’t do anything bad! You’re on! Surely Ash can’t top that!
Nope he's a bloody Saint!
Seriously a nicer, kinder man with a swimming pool of tolarance and patience you will not find.
I knew that without even meeting him! give me another as good as that for you and you can bring him! I can’t possible take one of you!
He give me his chocolate! You can't separate us! "
I can’t be nice! I’m driving the bus to hell! |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
"I want to come on ...
Oh Babs. You’ve no chance!
It’s not fair! I’m going to hang around until someone sneaks me on
There must be just one bad thing you can think of!
I once went ice skating and a man fell over in front of me. I can’t skate, I just about get by really but for some unknown reason instead of stopping or going around him I decided to jump over him all I remember was me landing flat on his back and him spread eagled on the ice groaning. He had to be carried off
Hahahaha. Step on "
They don’t call me badass B.A.B.S for nothing |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I sometimes puff my tummy out, lean back and rub my tummy when I want a seat on the tube.
Does that get me a seat?
Hahahahaha. That’s too funny! When I saw your name I thought nah she can’t do anything bad! You’re on! Surely Ash can’t top that!
Nope he's a bloody Saint!
Seriously a nicer, kinder man with a swimming pool of tolarance and patience you will not find.
I knew that without even meeting him! give me another as good as that for you and you can bring him! I can’t possible take one of you!
He give me his chocolate! You can't separate us!
I can’t be nice! I’m driving the bus to hell!"
Just thought! Hope I don’t have to parallel park the thing! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I want to come on ...
Oh Babs. You’ve no chance!
It’s not fair! I’m going to hang around until someone sneaks me on
There must be just one bad thing you can think of!
I once went ice skating and a man fell over in front of me. I can’t skate, I just about get by really but for some unknown reason instead of stopping or going around him I decided to jump over him all I remember was me landing flat on his back and him spread eagled on the ice groaning. He had to be carried off
Hahahaha. Step on
They don’t call me badass B.A.B.S for nothing "
If I let you on will get your tits out for the lads and lasses? Just this once |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I sometimes puff my tummy out, lean back and rub my tummy when I want a seat on the tube.
Does that get me a seat?
Hahahahaha. That’s too funny! When I saw your name I thought nah she can’t do anything bad! You’re on! Surely Ash can’t top that!
Nope he's a bloody Saint!
Seriously a nicer, kinder man with a swimming pool of tolarance and patience you will not find.
I knew that without even meeting him! give me another as good as that for you and you can bring him! I can’t possible take one of you!
He give me his chocolate! You can't separate us!
I can’t be nice! I’m driving the bus to hell!
Just thought! Hope I don’t have to parallel park the thing!"
I’ll parallel park it for you, that’s all I usually do anyway!! |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
"I want to come on ...
Oh Babs. You’ve no chance!
It’s not fair! I’m going to hang around until someone sneaks me on
There must be just one bad thing you can think of!
I once went ice skating and a man fell over in front of me. I can’t skate, I just about get by really but for some unknown reason instead of stopping or going around him I decided to jump over him all I remember was me landing flat on his back and him spread eagled on the ice groaning. He had to be carried off
Hahahaha. Step on
They don’t call me badass B.A.B.S for nothing
If I let you on will get your tits out for the lads and lasses? Just this once "
No but I might for you Nora |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I want to come on ...
Oh Babs. You’ve no chance!
It’s not fair! I’m going to hang around until someone sneaks me on
There must be just one bad thing you can think of!
I once went ice skating and a man fell over in front of me. I can’t skate, I just about get by really but for some unknown reason instead of stopping or going around him I decided to jump over him all I remember was me landing flat on his back and him spread eagled on the ice groaning. He had to be carried off
Hahahaha. Step on
They don’t call me badass B.A.B.S for nothing
If I let you on will get your tits out for the lads and lasses? Just this once
No but I might for you Nora "
  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I sometimes puff my tummy out, lean back and rub my tummy when I want a seat on the tube.
Does that get me a seat?
Hahahahaha. That’s too funny! When I saw your name I thought nah she can’t do anything bad! You’re on! Surely Ash can’t top that!
Nope he's a bloody Saint!
Seriously a nicer, kinder man with a swimming pool of tolarance and patience you will not find.
I knew that without even meeting him! give me another as good as that for you and you can bring him! I can’t possible take one of you!
He give me his chocolate! You can't separate us!
I can’t be nice! I’m driving the bus to hell!
Just thought! Hope I don’t have to parallel park the thing!
I’ll parallel park it for you, that’s all I usually do anyway!! "
At least “you could get a double decker bus in there woman” could actually be true this time! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I threw my kids paintings and when they caught me i had a tantrum and shouted
" how much if this shit am i supposed to keep!its just shit"..... no parenting awards for me |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I threw my kids paintings and when they caught me i had a tantrum and shouted
" how much if this shit am i supposed to keep!its just shit"..... no parenting awards for me"
OMG! You could at least say oh no how did that get in the bin it must have fell in! Like I do!
You’re on! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I sometimes puff my tummy out, lean back and rub my tummy when I want a seat on the tube.
Does that get me a seat?
Hahahahaha. That’s too funny! When I saw your name I thought nah she can’t do anything bad! You’re on! Surely Ash can’t top that!
Nope he's a bloody Saint!
Seriously a nicer, kinder man with a swimming pool of tolarance and patience you will not find.
I knew that without even meeting him! give me another as good as that for you and you can bring him! I can’t possible take one of you!
He give me his chocolate! You can't separate us!
I can’t be nice! I’m driving the bus to hell!
Just thought! Hope I don’t have to parallel park the thing!"
Iv thought of something to get him on the bus! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
going to a wedding with an ex who was the maid of honour. now it was in a fancy country hotel the ones that used to be a step down from a stately home. i got there on the friday night after work my ex was joining me on the saturday morning. i hit the bar chatting to the only people at the bar and as the night went on i ended up chatting to a beautiful red hed and being 3 sheets to the wind at this point when she lead me back to her room i didnt object ( i know it was bad of me but i was honest and came clean over breakfast) we ended up sleeping together. I thought nothing of it after sleeping with her not expecting to see her again. that was until the bride came down the isle and yes it was the bride i had slept with i must have gone a funny colour as one of the other guests asked if i was ok and did i need a glass of water. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I sometimes puff my tummy out, lean back and rub my tummy when I want a seat on the tube.
Does that get me a seat?
Hahahahaha. That’s too funny! When I saw your name I thought nah she can’t do anything bad! You’re on! Surely Ash can’t top that!
Nope he's a bloody Saint!
Seriously a nicer, kinder man with a swimming pool of tolarance and patience you will not find.
I knew that without even meeting him! give me another as good as that for you and you can bring him! I can’t possible take one of you!
He give me his chocolate! You can't separate us!
I can’t be nice! I’m driving the bus to hell!
Just thought! Hope I don’t have to parallel park the thing!
Iv thought of something to get him on the bus! "
Go on.
As long it doesn’t make me not like him anymore  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"going to a wedding with an ex who was the maid of honour. now it was in a fancy country hotel the ones that used to be a step down from a stately home. i got there on the friday night after work my ex was joining me on the saturday morning. i hit the bar chatting to the only people at the bar and as the night went on i ended up chatting to a beautiful red hed and being 3 sheets to the wind at this point when she lead me back to her room i didnt object ( i know it was bad of me but i was honest and came clean over breakfast) we ended up sleeping together. I thought nothing of it after sleeping with her not expecting to see her again. that was until the bride came down the isle and yes it was the bride i had slept with i must have gone a funny colour as one of the other guests asked if i was ok and did i need a glass of water."
OMG you couldn’t make that up! . You’re in |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I sometimes puff my tummy out, lean back and rub my tummy when I want a seat on the tube.
Does that get me a seat?
Hahahahaha. That’s too funny! When I saw your name I thought nah she can’t do anything bad! You’re on! Surely Ash can’t top that!
Nope he's a bloody Saint!
Seriously a nicer, kinder man with a swimming pool of tolarance and patience you will not find.
I knew that without even meeting him! give me another as good as that for you and you can bring him! I can’t possible take one of you!
He give me his chocolate! You can't separate us!
I can’t be nice! I’m driving the bus to hell!
Just thought! Hope I don’t have to parallel park the thing!
Iv thought of something to get him on the bus!
Go on.
As long it doesn’t make me not like him anymore "
Recently we went to a dinner party and we all had to do a dish. He brought a Spanish omelette from a shop, put it in a container and told everyone he had made it!
It's rubbish but the man is a Saint! That's as bad as he gets. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I sometimes puff my tummy out, lean back and rub my tummy when I want a seat on the tube.
Does that get me a seat?
Hahahahaha. That’s too funny! When I saw your name I thought nah she can’t do anything bad! You’re on! Surely Ash can’t top that!
Nope he's a bloody Saint!
Seriously a nicer, kinder man with a swimming pool of tolarance and patience you will not find.
I knew that without even meeting him! give me another as good as that for you and you can bring him! I can’t possible take one of you!
He give me his chocolate! You can't separate us!
I can’t be nice! I’m driving the bus to hell!
Just thought! Hope I don’t have to parallel park the thing!
Iv thought of something to get him on the bus!
Go on.
As long it doesn’t make me not like him anymore
Recently we went to a dinner party and we all had to do a dish. He brought a Spanish omelette from a shop, put it in a container and told everyone he had made it!
It's rubbish but the man is a Saint! That's as bad as he gets. "
Hahaha. To be fair that’s bad for Ash! He can come if he promises to serve the drinks |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I deliberately took a dump on my neighbours garden when I was about eight (it was incredibly liberating to!)
That’s got to count for something right? "
You don’t need a reason
In |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I sometimes puff my tummy out, lean back and rub my tummy when I want a seat on the tube.
Does that get me a seat?
Hahahahaha. That’s too funny! When I saw your name I thought nah she can’t do anything bad! You’re on! Surely Ash can’t top that!
Nope he's a bloody Saint!
Seriously a nicer, kinder man with a swimming pool of tolarance and patience you will not find.
I knew that without even meeting him! give me another as good as that for you and you can bring him! I can’t possible take one of you!
He give me his chocolate! You can't separate us!
I can’t be nice! I’m driving the bus to hell!
Just thought! Hope I don’t have to parallel park the thing!
Iv thought of something to get him on the bus!
Go on.
As long it doesn’t make me not like him anymore
Recently we went to a dinner party and we all had to do a dish. He brought a Spanish omelette from a shop, put it in a container and told everyone he had made it!
It's rubbish but the man is a Saint! That's as bad as he gets.
Hahaha. To be fair that’s bad for Ash! He can come if he promises to serve the drinks "
Yay! He would anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I once ate my grandsons chocolate bar and blamed it on the cat "
I ate a whole advent calendar and blamed it on the dog! That’s standard parenting. I’ll need something more badass! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I whacked my mum over the head with a large storybook as a 2 year old, because she wouldn't reqd me another one...and broke her nose "
Oh! I feel a bit bad that I laughed at that!
Step on! |
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By *hechapMan
over a year ago
Derry |
A priest walked into a bar and said.
Everyone who wants to go to heaven please stand up.
Everyone stood up except Paddy.
The priest said.
Paddy do you not want to go to heaven when you die?
Paddy replied.
Father i might go when i die but i thought you meant you were for taking a load up now. |
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By *ookie46Woman
over a year ago
Deepest darkest Peru |
I once found an early Christmas present (a watch) wore it for a night out and broke it. I put it back in box and in Christmas Day pretended to be really shocked when I opened it.
I let my younger sister take the blame |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
When I first met my gf a couple of years ago she was attached and living with her bf. He used to work on-call every Wednesday so she'd wait until her teenage kids were asleep and then sneak me in and we'd creep upstairs and I'd stay over and we'd fuck all night in their bed..... ......with the kids in the bedrooms next door, fuck knows how they never heard us or came in...... it never seemed wrong at the time because we were so wrapped up in each other and in love, but when I look back on it, it was a tiny but cuntish, especially when he found out.... .....
I'm defo going to hell in a handcart but life is for living and loving |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"A priest walked into a bar and said.
Everyone who wants to go to heaven please stand up.
Everyone stood up except Paddy.
The priest said.
Paddy do you not want to go to heaven when you die?
Paddy replied.
Father i might go when i die but i thought you meant you were for taking a load up now."
. You can come once you’ve given your dad his joke back and come up with some decent ones |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I once found an early Christmas present (a watch) wore it for a night out and broke it. I put it back in box and in Christmas Day pretended to be really shocked when I opened it.
I let my younger sister take the blame "
Hahaha. Love this! That’s something I’d do! Definitely in! |
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"I once ate my grandsons chocolate bar and blamed it on the cat "
See, this is the greatest joys of keeping pets; They make for the very best scapegoats!
By way of example, I’m sure all of us here have been in the situation when we’ve had guests around and inadvertently let fly with a particularly malodorous fart and swiftly proceeded to explain that the dog has an upset stomach.
Yes?......Surely someone else has right? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"When I first met my gf a couple of years ago she was attached and living with her bf. He used to work on-call every Wednesday so she'd wait until her teenage kids were asleep and then sneak me in and we'd creep upstairs and I'd stay over and we'd fuck all night in their bed..... ......with the kids in the bedrooms next door, fuck knows how they never heard us or came in...... it never seemed wrong at the time because we were so wrapped up in each other and in love, but when I look back on it, it was a tiny but cuntish, especially when he found out.... .....
I'm defo going to hell in a handcart but life is for living and loving "
Ooooh errrrrrrr  . That’s one of the baddest! I can’t refuse |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
when in a shop, I set a few mousetraps in the box, then wander around nearby telling my son in a slihtly loud voice that due to the weather theres going to be a lot of mice and rats about soon, and wait for it.......... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"going to a wedding with an ex who was the maid of honour. now it was in a fancy country hotel the ones that used to be a step down from a stately home. i got there on the friday night after work my ex was joining me on the saturday morning. i hit the bar chatting to the only people at the bar and as the night went on i ended up chatting to a beautiful red hed and being 3 sheets to the wind at this point when she lead me back to her room i didnt object ( i know it was bad of me but i was honest and came clean over breakfast) we ended up sleeping together. I thought nothing of it after sleeping with her not expecting to see her again. that was until the bride came down the isle and yes it was the bride i had slept with i must have gone a funny colour as one of the other guests asked if i was ok and did i need a glass of water."
Bit of a similar story but I stopped short of being too naughty.
I want up to Scotland for work and checked out a potential wedding venue. Long story short me and the bar man ended up in a room with three Scandinavian girls (Norwegian I think). I had to take a deep breath and make excuses to leave as I'm not sure I could have had that on my mind during the marriage ceremony .
I told C all about it when I got home and we did end up getting married there. Was 20 years ago
Now she'd ask my why I didn't take advantage of the situation |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"when in a shop, I set a few mousetraps in the box, then wander around nearby telling my son in a slihtly loud voice that due to the weather theres going to be a lot of mice and rats about soon, and wait for it.........."
. Allowed |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"going to a wedding with an ex who was the maid of honour. now it was in a fancy country hotel the ones that used to be a step down from a stately home. i got there on the friday night after work my ex was joining me on the saturday morning. i hit the bar chatting to the only people at the bar and as the night went on i ended up chatting to a beautiful red hed and being 3 sheets to the wind at this point when she lead me back to her room i didnt object ( i know it was bad of me but i was honest and came clean over breakfast) we ended up sleeping together. I thought nothing of it after sleeping with her not expecting to see her again. that was until the bride came down the isle and yes it was the bride i had slept with i must have gone a funny colour as one of the other guests asked if i was ok and did i need a glass of water.
Bit of a similar story but I stopped short of being too naughty.
I want up to Scotland for work and checked out a potential wedding venue. Long story short me and the bar man ended up in a room with three Scandinavian girls (Norwegian I think). I had to take a deep breath and make excuses to leave as I'm not sure I could have had that on my mind during the marriage ceremony .
I told C all about it when I got home and we did end up getting married there. Was 20 years ago
Now she'd ask my why I didn't take advantage of the situation "
I’m not sure as you were good in the end so access denied unless you can come up with something bad |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was told to go to hell today in tescos as I was doing the big shop. I figure I’m already going there anyway, in fact I’m driving the bus! Who’s coming with? Tell me something reeeeealllyyyy bad that you’ve done and I may allow you on for the ride "
may I get off at anytime as I have been very good too ? X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I was told to go to hell today in tescos as I was doing the big shop. I figure I’m already going there anyway, in fact I’m driving the bus! Who’s coming with? Tell me something reeeeealllyyyy bad that you’ve done and I may allow you on for the ride may I get off at anytime as I have been very good too ? X"
Depends how bad you’ve been to get on first! |
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"I was told to go to hell today in tescos as I was doing the big shop. I figure I’m already going there anyway, in fact I’m driving the bus! Who’s coming with? Tell me something reeeeealllyyyy bad that you’ve done and I may allow you on for the ride "
I’m up for some sightseeing |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I was told to go to hell today in tescos as I was doing the big shop. I figure I’m already going there anyway, in fact I’m driving the bus! Who’s coming with? Tell me something reeeeealllyyyy bad that you’ve done and I may allow you on for the ride
I’m up for some sightseeing "
You don’t look like a bad boy to me. What’s your story? |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"Fucked my mates girlfriend... Wasn't my finest moment ill admit but I did enjoy it ever so much! "
Ha, me too but she did tell me some truths I didn't know about him & what an arsehole he was so I didn't feel so bad.
Then I went & married her & we are still together 17yrs later
S |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"going to a wedding with an ex who was the maid of honour. now it was in a fancy country hotel the ones that used to be a step down from a stately home. i got there on the friday night after work my ex was joining me on the saturday morning. i hit the bar chatting to the only people at the bar and as the night went on i ended up chatting to a beautiful red hed and being 3 sheets to the wind at this point when she lead me back to her room i didnt object ( i know it was bad of me but i was honest and came clean over breakfast) we ended up sleeping together. I thought nothing of it after sleeping with her not expecting to see her again. that was until the bride came down the isle and yes it was the bride i had slept with i must have gone a funny colour as one of the other guests asked if i was ok and did i need a glass of water.
Bit of a similar story but I stopped short of being too naughty.
I want up to Scotland for work and checked out a potential wedding venue. Long story short me and the bar man ended up in a room with three Scandinavian girls (Norwegian I think). I had to take a deep breath and make excuses to leave as I'm not sure I could have had that on my mind during the marriage ceremony .
I told C all about it when I got home and we did end up getting married there. Was 20 years ago
Now she'd ask my why I didn't take advantage of the situation
I’m not sure as you were good in the end so access denied unless you can come up with something bad "
Not sure I can say some bad things, I'd get locked up
I got arrested (for sticking up for someone who had done nothing wrong) and wouldn't allow them to cuff me once. I intimidated the little shit that arrested me so much he put the wrong date on the paperwork and it got thrown out in court, does that count? |
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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago
Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe |
A couple of years ago I went for a meal with my mate and his wife. I was the designated driver. Took them back home and went in for coffee. He went to bed as he had an early start for work the next day. She lifted her skirt and said "go on, then, get licking".
It would have been rude of me to refuse! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"going to a wedding with an ex who was the maid of honour. now it was in a fancy country hotel the ones that used to be a step down from a stately home. i got there on the friday night after work my ex was joining me on the saturday morning. i hit the bar chatting to the only people at the bar and as the night went on i ended up chatting to a beautiful red hed and being 3 sheets to the wind at this point when she lead me back to her room i didnt object ( i know it was bad of me but i was honest and came clean over breakfast) we ended up sleeping together. I thought nothing of it after sleeping with her not expecting to see her again. that was until the bride came down the isle and yes it was the bride i had slept with i must have gone a funny colour as one of the other guests asked if i was ok and did i need a glass of water.
Bit of a similar story but I stopped short of being too naughty.
I want up to Scotland for work and checked out a potential wedding venue. Long story short me and the bar man ended up in a room with three Scandinavian girls (Norwegian I think). I had to take a deep breath and make excuses to leave as I'm not sure I could have had that on my mind during the marriage ceremony .
I told C all about it when I got home and we did end up getting married there. Was 20 years ago
Now she'd ask my why I didn't take advantage of the situation
I’m not sure as you were good in the end so access denied unless you can come up with something bad
Not sure I can say some bad things, I'd get locked up
I got arrested (for sticking up for someone who had done nothing wrong) and wouldn't allow them to cuff me once. I intimidated the little shit that arrested me so much he put the wrong date on the paperwork and it got thrown out in court, does that count? "
Haha. Yeah go on then you’re on |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"A couple of years ago I went for a meal with my mate and his wife. I was the designated driver. Took them back home and went in for coffee. He went to bed as he had an early start for work the next day. She lifted her skirt and said "go on, then, get licking".
It would have been rude of me to refuse!"
. She’d better get on the bus too! |
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"I was told to go to hell today in tescos as I was doing the big shop. I figure I’m already going there anyway, in fact I’m driving the bus! Who’s coming with? Tell me something reeeeealllyyyy bad that you’ve done and I may allow you on for the ride
I’m up for some sightseeing
You don’t look like a bad boy to me. What’s your story?"
Looks can be deceiving and you haven’t seen the whole picture yet. Let’s just say was bad but good now |
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By *hechapMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"A priest walked into a bar and said.
Everyone who wants to go to heaven please stand up.
Everyone stood up except Paddy.
The priest said.
Paddy do you not want to go to heaven when you die?
Paddy replied.
Father i might go when i die but i thought you meant you were for taking a load up now.
. You can come once you’ve given your dad his joke back and come up with some decent ones "
I gave dad his joke back but he insists you keep it.
|
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I've packed my shorts and flip flops....
.........
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=l482T0yNkeo
.........
I once had a house party at about 15 when my mum was away....8 very expensive Doulton figures got broken, I glued the ones I could and hid the rest.....safe to say it didn't work....I was banned from having any friends around until I was 18....seriously!!!
Baddest thing I've done to a person......the guy who my ex had an affair with....I took all the wheel nuts out of one of his tyres on his car....safe to say...he never made it off the estates as first corner he came to his tyre never followed...I think it was also a contributing factor to him getting sacked.... |
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"I was told to go to hell today in tescos as I was doing the big shop. I figure I’m already going there anyway, in fact I’m driving the bus! Who’s coming with? Tell me something reeeeealllyyyy bad that you’ve done and I may allow you on for the ride "
Errr I'll drive babe. Your geography isn't the greatest! X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I was told to go to hell today in tescos as I was doing the big shop. I figure I’m already going there anyway, in fact I’m driving the bus! Who’s coming with? Tell me something reeeeealllyyyy bad that you’ve done and I may allow you on for the ride
Errr I'll drive babe. Your geography isn't the greatest! X"
. I may need you to parallel park too just in case SB has too many babyshams! |
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"I was told to go to hell today in tescos as I was doing the big shop. I figure I’m already going there anyway, in fact I’m driving the bus! Who’s coming with? Tell me something reeeeealllyyyy bad that you’ve done and I may allow you on for the ride
Errr I'll drive babe. Your geography isn't the greatest! X
. I may need you to parallel park too just in case SB has too many babyshams! "
Babyshams!!!! Do they still make that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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years ago before throw away lenses existed
in middle of an argument with an ex I took his contact lens out of the cleaning solution put them in my mouth and chewed them
|
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"years ago before throw away lenses existed
in middle of an argument with an ex I took his contact lens out of the cleaning solution put them in my mouth and chewed them
"
That's.....bizarre |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was told to go to hell today in tescos as I was doing the big shop. I figure I’m already going there anyway, in fact I’m driving the bus! Who’s coming with? Tell me something reeeeealllyyyy bad that you’ve done and I may allow you on for the ride "
I think you're going to need a bigger bus lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My little sister caught me perving over the underwear section in a littlewoods catalogue when i was a kid (no Internet in them days) , so i threw the book at her and made her cry to give her something else to concentrate on in the hope she'd forget what she saw..
Guess I've always been a bit of a perve |
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