FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Emotional Baggage
Emotional Baggage
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
Well I've been single for nearly 7 years now. Never been married, or got any kids, just had long term relationships with ladies.
When I chat to a lady, not necessarily on here, but in the real world as well, due to my age I find it harder to find someone who isn't constantly on their phone to their ex or children. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Really! Blimey! I always keep my phone handy during meets or when I'm socialising for my parents to be able to contact me so my emotional baggage goes the other way 
Yeah, I get that, but one of my ex's had Sunday as a phone her family day, which is cool   "
We had a brief period when the kids were old enough to leave us alone and my parents well enough to be left alone. . We always laugh about just getting the kids off hand and they're replaced by my parents.
I think if I was on a date with someone and they kept chatting to their ex I'd leave them to it. I did have a friend who was in constant touch with her adult children when we were out together. I gave up on the end. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
"Really! Blimey! I always keep my phone handy during meets or when I'm socialising for my parents to be able to contact me so my emotional baggage goes the other way
Yeah, I get that, but one of my ex's had Sunday as a phone her family day, which is cool
We had a brief period when the kids were old enough to leave us alone and my parents well enough to be left alone. . We always laugh about just getting the kids off hand and they're replaced by my parents.
I think if I was on a date with someone and they kept chatting to their ex I'd leave them to it. I did have a friend who was in constant touch with her adult children when we were out together. I gave up on the end. "
Most of the women I've had relationships with, I've met their ex and we've got along just fine and in some cases become good friends
What gives me grief though is when you are talking to the lady of your desire, and she's constantly on the phone to someone else   |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Really! Blimey! I always keep my phone handy during meets or when I'm socialising for my parents to be able to contact me so my emotional baggage goes the other way
Yeah, I get that, but one of my ex's had Sunday as a phone her family day, which is cool
We had a brief period when the kids were old enough to leave us alone and my parents well enough to be left alone. . We always laugh about just getting the kids off hand and they're replaced by my parents.
I think if I was on a date with someone and they kept chatting to their ex I'd leave them to it. I did have a friend who was in constant touch with her adult children when we were out together. I gave up on the end.
Most of the women I've had relationships with, I've met their ex and we've got along just fine and in some cases become good friends
What gives me grief though is when you are talking to the lady of your desire, and she's constantly on the phone to someone else "
Yep, it's very disheartening, especially when you don't get much time together. Makes you feel like you're not exiting or intersting enough to hold their attention.
If it's sorting out younger kids or in contact with their partner tho then that's understandable for me.
P |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Couldn't agree more! Go out with friends and they're talking on the phone ... no emergencies etc! I walk off tbh
I have kids and other responsibilities, always have my phone with me but have no need to chat with others when I'm off out or with friends!
Unfortunately it's the way the world has become and lots are missing out on life for the need to be be online etc
Their loss but personally have no need for it ... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
"Yep, it's very disheartening, especially when you don't get much time together. Makes you feel like you're not exiting or intersting enough to hold their attention.
If it's sorting out younger kids or in contact with their partner tho then that's understandable for me.
P"
I makes me feel like confiscating their phone sometimes |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
"Couldn't agree more! Go out with friends and they're talking on the phone ... no emergencies etc! I walk off tbh
I have kids and other responsibilities, always have my phone with me but have no need to chat with others when I'm off out or with friends!
Unfortunately it's the way the world has become and lots are missing out on life for the need to be be online etc
Their loss but personally have no need for it ... "
Exactly, if it's an emergency, then fair enough, but just to rattle to random people that you could talk to any other time is not cool in my opinion. Let them know that you are out, and I'll text/call you later |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
That’s quite rude really. I leave my phone in the bag with the volume up in case of emergency (i have young kids and a doddery mum) and quickly check it at toilet breaks.
I’d not be impressed if someone was on their phone a lot in my presence and they’d know about it, mainly because i get so little time to myself to get out so they should be enjoying me! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Yep, it's very disheartening, especially when you don't get much time together. Makes you feel like you're not exiting or intersting enough to hold their attention.
If it's sorting out younger kids or in contact with their partner tho then that's understandable for me.
P
I makes me feel like confiscating their phone sometimes "
I think it is rude. We now have a drawer that any adult children have to put their phones in when they enter the house....they get very twitchy after a while  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
"Yep, it's very disheartening, especially when you don't get much time together. Makes you feel like you're not exiting or intersting enough to hold their attention.
If it's sorting out younger kids or in contact with their partner tho then that's understandable for me.
P
I makes me feel like confiscating their phone sometimes
I think it is rude. We now have a drawer that any adult children have to put their phones in when they enter the house....they get very twitchy after a while "
*raids Ruggers drawer and reads all of their texts  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yep, it's very disheartening, especially when you don't get much time together. Makes you feel like you're not exiting or intersting enough to hold their attention.
If it's sorting out younger kids or in contact with their partner tho then that's understandable for me.
P
I makes me feel like confiscating their phone sometimes
I think it is rude. We now have a drawer that any adult children have to put their phones in when they enter the house....they get very twitchy after a while "
We have a phone ban in the house for social times too! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Yep, it's very disheartening, especially when you don't get much time together. Makes you feel like you're not exiting or intersting enough to hold their attention.
If it's sorting out younger kids or in contact with their partner tho then that's understandable for me.
P
I makes me feel like confiscating their phone sometimes
I think it is rude. We now have a drawer that any adult children have to put their phones in when they enter the house....they get very twitchy after a while
*raids Ruggers drawer and reads all of their texts "
The top one will be " the pigging oldies are stopping me using the phone again, how am I going to cope !!"
I do think it rude though when you are out with someone and they are constantly checking phones or on the phone.
We were at a restaurant once where there was a round table of eight women...all were on their phones and not talking to each other, then one shouted "selfie", they all smiled for the selfie and then went back to their phones and not talking 
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
"Yep, it's very disheartening, especially when you don't get much time together. Makes you feel like you're not exiting or intersting enough to hold their attention.
If it's sorting out younger kids or in contact with their partner tho then that's understandable for me.
P
I makes me feel like confiscating their phone sometimes
I think it is rude. We now have a drawer that any adult children have to put their phones in when they enter the house....they get very twitchy after a while
*raids Ruggers drawer and reads all of their texts
The top one will be " the pigging oldies are stopping me using the phone again, how am I going to cope !!"
I do think it rude though when you are out with someone and they are constantly checking phones or on the phone.
We were at a restaurant once where there was a round table of eight women...all were on their phones and not talking to each other, then one shouted "selfie", they all smiled for the selfie and then went back to their phones and not talking
"
I was in a pub a few months back and saw an elderly couple, they must have been in their 80's, they never said a word to each other for at least half an hour  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Anyone can have baggage and commitments, that's life and it is reasonable that family comes first. However what gets me is the unnecessary baggage and drama that some people court. Things like a clingy ex, attention addicted teenage and adult kids or equally attention demanding fit or healthy parents who constantly keep tabs on others, like a form of control. I've had experience of all three in my last two longterm relationships.
As for being glued to social media while in company, that is annoying and obvious addiction. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Everyone has it. It's only baggage if you perceive it as such. I'm a single father and I've had woman not want to meet me because as they have said it's baggage.
People have lives, others need to see that it's not baggage but their own limitations and selfish nature knowing that they aren't going to be priority.
If someone can't accept that people have a life away from them and aren't willing to accept that. Well it just says more about them than the other person. A parent will always put a child first.
As for being on the phone. A lot of people who suffer from anxiety or are feeling awkward will use their phone to avoid looking nervous, or to avoid social interaction. However it is rude, and most don't realize they are doing it. With some however it is because they feel bored or that they maybe have others they are talking to or a friend in need.
I have been guilty of it in the past, mainly from anxiety or nervousness. I've learned to change my habits.
People unfortunately live their lives through their phones. Social media to a degree has made people less social.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Actually was at a beautiful pub in a beautiful spot on a beautiful day this summer and every single person (all adults) in the pub garden were on their phone! Absolutely noone was talking ... what's the point! None were on their own ... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
"As for being glued to social media while in company, that is annoying and obvious addiction."
That is almost my point entirely, why would someone take the piss by constantly being on their phone during a meet? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have to have my phone with me, kids and mom in emergencies. But I don’t like using my phone if I’m out in company. I can chat to the family anytime, and it’s bad manners to ignore your companion x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"As for being glued to social media while in company, that is annoying and obvious addiction.
That is almost my point entirely, why would someone take the piss by constantly being on their phone during a meet? "
Some men do this too, I never have my phone out of my bag during a meet...unless they are constantly checking theirs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"As for being glued to social media while in company, that is annoying and obvious addiction.
That is almost my point entirely, why would someone take the piss by constantly being on their phone during a meet?
Some men do this too, I never have my phone out of my bag during a meet...unless they are constantly checking theirs "
It's definitely not gender specific and is seen across the board by a lot of under 50s. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's definitely not gender specific and is seen across the board by a lot of under 50s.
No respect for the person that they're meeting then?"
It certainly can come across as disrespect but I think in most cases it is actually down to obsessive behaviour and unintended rudeness.
It does remind me of the concept of 'The Matrix' sometimes. Some people are just not comfortable to exist mostly in the physical present and seek to be constantly engaged in the virtual reality of social media. It's the sane with holiday makers who video everywhere and experience most of their break through a lense or monitor. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
"It's definitely not gender specific and is seen across the board by a lot of under 50s.
No respect for the person that they're meeting then?
It certainly can come across as disrespect but I think in most cases it is actually down to obsessive behaviour and unintended rudeness.
It does remind me of the concept of 'The Matrix' sometimes. Some people are just not comfortable to exist mostly in the physical present and seek to be constantly engaged in the virtual reality of social media. It's the sane with holiday makers who video everywhere and experience most of their break through a lense or monitor."
I fully understand that, but why can people pay you a little bit of attention then talk to someone else for a few hours, when they can do it at a prearranged time |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's definitely not gender specific and is seen across the board by a lot of under 50s.
No respect for the person that they're meeting then?
It certainly can come across as disrespect but I think in most cases it is actually down to obsessive behaviour and unintended rudeness.
It does remind me of the concept of 'The Matrix' sometimes. Some people are just not comfortable to exist mostly in the physical present and seek to be constantly engaged in the virtual reality of social media. It's the sane with holiday makers who video everywhere and experience most of their break through a lense or monitor.
I fully understand that, but why can people pay you a little bit of attention then talk to someone else for a few hours, when they can do it at a prearranged time "
I'm guessing in many cases that's coming down to their priorities. Also it often comes down to them being available on demand to a dramatic friend or family member who they are effectively dominated by ( but that's getting into codependence / manipulation territory, which is a whole other discussion )  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's definitely not gender specific and is seen across the board by a lot of under 50s.
No respect for the person that they're meeting then?
It certainly can come across as disrespect but I think in most cases it is actually down to obsessive behaviour and unintended rudeness.
It does remind me of the concept of 'The Matrix' sometimes. Some people are just not comfortable to exist mostly in the physical present and seek to be constantly engaged in the virtual reality of social media. It's the sane with holiday makers who video everywhere and experience most of their break through a lense or monitor."
Well we've managed to do it for generations so I just think it's more rudeness than anything else sorry ... the internet and mobiles haven't really been around long! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's definitely not gender specific and is seen across the board by a lot of under 50s.
No respect for the person that they're meeting then?
It certainly can come across as disrespect but I think in most cases it is actually down to obsessive behaviour and unintended rudeness.
It does remind me of the concept of 'The Matrix' sometimes. Some people are just not comfortable to exist mostly in the physical present and seek to be constantly engaged in the virtual reality of social media. It's the sane with holiday makers who video everywhere and experience most of their break through a lense or monitor.
I fully understand that, but why can people pay you a little bit of attention then talk to someone else for a few hours, when they can do it at a prearranged time
I'm guessing in many cases that's coming down to their priorities. Also it often comes down to them being available on demand to a dramatic friend or family member who they are effectively dominated by ( but that's getting into codependence / manipulation territory, which is a whole other discussion ) "
I know someone like that. It's impossible to break my friend away from the manipulator. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Really! Blimey! I always keep my phone handy during meets or when I'm socialising for my parents to be able to contact me so my emotional baggage goes the other way
Yeah, I get that, but one of my ex's had Sunday as a phone her family day, which is cool
We had a brief period when the kids were old enough to leave us alone and my parents well enough to be left alone. . We always laugh about just getting the kids off hand and they're replaced by my parents.
I think if I was on a date with someone and they kept chatting to their ex I'd leave them to it. I did have a friend who was in constant touch with her adult children when we were out together. I gave up on the end.
Most of the women I've had relationships with, I've met their ex and we've got along just fine and in some cases become good friends
What gives me grief though is when you are talking to the lady of your desire, and she's constantly on the phone to someone else "
I think that's rude and disrespectful of them. You are worth more than being second hand to their phone. Bin them off and find someone who appreciates you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
"What gives me grief though is when you are talking to the lady of your desire, and she's constantly on the phone to someone else
I think that's rude and disrespectful of them. You are worth more than being second hand to their phone. Bin them off and find someone who appreciates you. "
Yeah, being disrespectful is what really grinds my gears, I've got no beef with anyone that needs to get in touch with somebody in an emergency.
It fries ma tits though when someone totally ignores you mid conversation...
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"
As for being on the phone. A lot of people who suffer from anxiety or are feeling awkward will use their phone to avoid looking nervous, or to avoid social interaction.
"
I wonder what they did before mobile phones were invented |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
