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Building Confidence
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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When your confidence gets a knock, and I don't just mean on fab, I mean in real life too, what have you done in the past to help you get back on track and get yourself back to being totally awesome.
There's been things happen in my life recently that have kinda knocked the fizz outta my bottle and making me self doubt at every step, so I'm trying to refind what I've lost and get back on form.
Any advice or tips?
LMM x |
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Ok I took a little dip a while back wasn’t my usual out going confident self and took me a while to get out of quite a rut.
I basically over many weeks had to sit and tell myself off for allowing myself to feel that way. I had to re-educate myself to understand that the things in life that had happened to me and was now making me feel the way I was where actually the things that had made me the bloody good person I am. I’m not going in to full details in a open forum like this but I took that shit owned it and pleased to say I’m pretty much back to my old self. Almost a year though.
And I understand this may not be for everyone all down to circumstances I’m afraid |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ok I took a little dip a while back wasn’t my usual out going confident self and took me a while to get out of quite a rut.
I basically over many weeks had to sit and tell myself off for allowing myself to feel that way. I had to re-educate myself to understand that the things in life that had happened to me and was now making me feel the way I was where actually the things that had made me the bloody good person I am. I’m not going in to full details in a open forum like this but I took that shit owned it and pleased to say I’m pretty much back to my old self. Almost a year though.
And I understand this may not be for everyone all down to circumstances I’m afraid "
All makes sense, I think re training and educating the brain is really key. Thank you for commenting x |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
Always be yourself - be the person you know you can be.
There's always people here to give encouragement to those that they think deserve it.
We all hit stumbling blocks in our lives, so many understand and will listen.
Xx |
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"Go back to what and who really matters. Lick your wounds. Comfort yourself. If necessary, seek help. Concentrate on the things that make you feel good about yourself to the extent you can. "
actually I 2nd that seek help I did even though all the age old quotes run through my head as you can imagine sign of weakness, you don’t need that, it’s for weirdos all that, it’s bullshit go do talking to some one I didn’t know helped me massively actually got me to the route of my troubles. Not stuff I would have or even now could really discuss with people I know
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Go back to what and who really matters. Lick your wounds. Comfort yourself. If necessary, seek help. Concentrate on the things that make you feel good about yourself to the extent you can. "
Thank you, a case of getting back to basics I think  |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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Take time out and focus on you - stop trying to please others and start doing small things that make you happy. Spend time with and talk to those who lift you and care for you.
I'm still finding me but I make sure to do little things. Treat myself to nice things. I do yoga and go to the gym which helps a lot and practising mindfulness honestly helped reframe my mindset - yes, I still have moments when I seriously doubt myself but those are far fewer now. You'll find you again, it just takes time.
Be kind to yourself and remember that the negative voice in your head is just that and not necessarily an accurate reflection of the status quo, x |
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"Ok I took a little dip a while back wasn’t my usual out going confident self and took me a while to get out of quite a rut.
I basically over many weeks had to sit and tell myself off for allowing myself to feel that way. I had to re-educate myself to understand that the things in life that had happened to me and was now making me feel the way I was where actually the things that had made me the bloody good person I am. I’m not going in to full details in a open forum like this but I took that shit owned it and pleased to say I’m pretty much back to my old self. Almost a year though.
And I understand this may not be for everyone all down to circumstances I’m afraid
All makes sense, I think re training and educating the brain is really key. Thank you for commenting x"
don’t mention it but please remember what I did is not nesseseraly correct for everyone. I have to say it got worse before it got better. Now that shit is in a shoe box at the back of the brain that occasionally I get out and give it a good kick around |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Always be yourself - be the person you know you can be.
There's always people here to give encouragement to those that they think deserve it.
We all hit stumbling blocks in our lives, so many understand and will listen.
Xx"
Thank you, it's hopefully just a blip x |
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I totally lost all confidence in all aspects of my life at one point. I found for myself it was trying to do something little that made me feel like me. Even if it was just to read a chapter of a book or tidying that messy draw that's full of rubbish. Try and find the accomplishments in the little things. Cause sometimes it overwhelming to see how far we've strayed from our own baseline xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Take time out and focus on you - stop trying to please others and start doing small things that make you happy. Spend time with and talk to those who lift you and care for you.
I'm still finding me but I make sure to do little things. Treat myself to nice things. I do yoga and go to the gym which helps a lot and practising mindfulness honestly helped reframe my mindset - yes, I still have moments when I seriously doubt myself but those are far fewer now. You'll find you again, it just takes time.
Be kind to yourself and remember that the negative voice in your head is just that and not necessarily an accurate reflection of the status quo, x"
I think you're in my brain Meli, I think self care is needed. Just on this crazy manic hamster wheel. Needs to stop before I fly away. Unless I fly somewhere nice, in which case, I'll take my chances  x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I totally lost all confidence in all aspects of my life at one point. I found for myself it was trying to do something little that made me feel like me. Even if it was just to read a chapter of a book or tidying that messy draw that's full of rubbish. Try and find the accomplishments in the little things. Cause sometimes it overwhelming to see how far we've strayed from our own baseline xxx"
That's so true, it's such a scary feeling when you look back 6 months and realise how far you've derailed. Definitely little things x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Talk to people who genuinely like you and know you. Get them to explain why as you’ve probably lost sight of what a great person you are. I know it sounds corny but learn to love yourself again, enjoy your own company and believe in yourself. Why? Let’s face it if you don’t, why should others believe in you and want to spend time with you?
Sending energy your way. It’s only human to go through bad times and don’t forget, it means that the good times are on the way..  |
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
"When your confidence gets a knock, and I don't just mean on fab, I mean in real life too, what have you done in the past to help you get back on track and get yourself back to being totally awesome.
There's been things happen in my life recently that have kinda knocked the fizz outta my bottle and making me self doubt at every step, so I'm trying to refind what I've lost and get back on form.
Any advice or tips?
LMM x"
Sometimes reassurance from friends or family who know how capable a person you are can be really helpful. It's certainly helped me in the past  |
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In the past I've pretty much throw myself entirely at the gym, and not in the healthy way, more in the borderline obsessively way.
That probably doesn't help though... maybe the gym but in a healthy way? It's a good place to clear your mind for a while where you don't have to concentrated on anything. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Sometimes reassurance from friends or family who know how capable a person you are can be really helpful. It's certainly helped me in the past "
Actually friends and family causing a massive amount of the issues.....! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Confidence is such a difficult emotion, it depends on what you feel needs boosting..
For example, if you think your unattractive.. someone has made nasty comments etc.. I would bet my life that for the one person who said something horrible a hundred more would think the complete opposite x |
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For me I write it down to help get it out, just let the feelings flow... whether that be how I’m feeling: or a letter that will never be delivered; good things in my life and about me.
This is all normally done at a furious speed over a couple of hours. I then leave them until the next day, read in the order above, laugh at my rantings and then shred.... therapy over for me and a new day starts
Life’s to short! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When your confidence gets a knock, and I don't just mean on fab, I mean in real life too, what have you done in the past to help you get back on track and get yourself back to being totally awesome.
There's been things happen in my life recently that have kinda knocked the fizz outta my bottle and making me self doubt at every step, so I'm trying to refind what I've lost and get back on form.
Any advice or tips?
LMM x"
what is your crisis of confidence, can i ask that?  |
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"For me I write it down to help get it out, just let the feelings flow... whether that be how I’m feeling: or a letter that will never be delivered; good things in my life and about me.
This is all normally done at a furious speed over a couple of hours. I then leave them until the next day, read in the order above, laugh at my rantings and then shred.... therapy over for me and a new day starts
Life’s to short! "
I do this also have a book to write my thoughts. I then come back to it the next day and generally rip it all to shreds and put it in the bin. Cause it's normally some nasty piece of work that made me feel bad in the first place, find it cathartic |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I read many books, I spend time a bit of time on my own and may sound silly I sometimes visit my local church.
Sometimes it's ok not to be ok ....
Reboot and start again "
A reboot and upgrade needed |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sometimes friends and family can be the harshest critics... but often very very wrong! "
Bloody hell, aren't they just. I think people don't think sometimes before they say stuff, then if you're not feeling in the most confident of places, it hurts more. I need a thicker shell |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be honest I don’t give a rats bottom what people say or think , I am what / who I am & if people have a problem with that then that’s their issue . In general I normally keep under the radar & not a member of the many social media sites to which I think is the problem in many people’s life ( my opinion) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just be yaself.
Try to ignore people who say bad things, look at yaself in the mirror and say. I can bounce back from this, i have friends and family.
Not going to let somone get me down, mite sound easy but sometimes it isnt.
Not worth looking back, thats a waste of energy. Look forward and enjoy life. |
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