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Abuse
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"if someone is vulnerable they may not realise it until pointed out. " This. You often find people living with a controlling partner can't see it | |||
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"if someone is vulnerable they may not realise it until pointed out. This. You often find people living with a controlling partner can't see it " Absolutely | |||
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"if someone is vulnerable they may not realise it until pointed out. This. You often find people living with a controlling partner can't see it " This was case of my gf...he still tries it now when he contacts over kids etc but she grits her teeth and ignores it..alas they have to communicate because of kids...life can be a bitch or a bastard | |||
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"Abuse comes in many shapes and forms and is not a lighthearted subject. People who are being abused don't always know that's what's happening to them. People perceive things as abuse when not and not see when it is. Physical abuse can leave signs however mental doesn't always leave signs. " So true | |||
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"if someone is vulnerable they may not realise it until pointed out. This. You often find people living with a controlling partner can't see it " Definitely! I lived with a complete control freak. He took over every aspect of my life. I really didn't have a clue, it was subtle, slow & very scheming. My eldest son, 11 at the time, noticed it. He knew we had plans for a certain day, he'd been there when we'd discussed it. So when my (now) ex denied knowing what I was talking about, telling me I'd imagined it, he knew it was a lie. He started keeping notes, until he felt he had enough to show me! It took a child to see what no one could. | |||
"if someone is vulnerable they may not realise it until pointed out. This. You often find people living with a controlling partner can't see it Definitely! I lived with a complete control freak. He took over every aspect of my life. I really didn't have a clue, it was subtle, slow & very scheming. My eldest son, 11 at the time, noticed it. He knew we had plans for a certain day, he'd been there when we'd discussed it. So when my (now) ex denied knowing what I was talking about, telling me I'd imagined it, he knew it was a lie. He started keeping notes, until he felt he had enough to show me! It took a child to see what no one could. " Brave boy you have there and you’re lucky to have such a person in your life  | |||
"Abuse...mine went unnoticed throughout my childhood into teens..violent abuse at home was bad enough but then it drove me to spend my time out of the house alone where I was picked up by other types of offender because they knew I had nowhere to run to...not back then...3 years ago flashbacks started and nearly destroyed me but here I am..I got through it...so I can assure ya it not only goes unnoticed but sometimes when recognised it is ignored.." | |||
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"Abuse...mine went unnoticed throughout my childhood into teens..violent abuse at home was bad enough but then it drove me to spend my time out of the house alone where I was picked up by other types of offender because they knew I had nowhere to run to...not back then...3 years ago flashbacks started and nearly destroyed me but here I am..I got through it...so I can assure ya it not only goes unnoticed but sometimes when recognised it is ignored.." I truly feel you pain I really do. The flash backs and nightmares never leave. I have told my story on here before, but it gets easier now so I will do it again and hopefully our story's will help others to find hope. I too was violently abused from as far back as I can remember, I was an Orphan, an abandoned baby, grow up in an Orphanage run by Nuns (The Sisters of the Nazarene) the treatment they give out was nothing more than sadistic torture, before I was 9yrs old I dad suffered two broken ribs, the bone calluses still stick out to this day the breaks were that bad, I have burn scars, also scars from being whipped and caned so hard the skin would split open. They treated the ones without any family or relatives, much worse than the others who had relatives there was nobody to ask awkward questions that way. I ran away numerous times always being taken back by the Police, they would ask about the scars and burns and I would tell them how I got them, they even took me to the Hospital once but the Doctor ignored everything and said I was a fit healthy buy who must get into fights and fall alot, so they still took me back, believing the Nuns that I was clumsy and always fighting and fell on a fire or iron or down the stairs. My punishment for defiance was locked in the celler for the night. It wasn't an Orphanage to us it was Hell a place of pain, misery and suffering. It all stopped about 6 month's before my 10th birthday, and i was removed from there on my 10th birthday, I now know why it stopped! There were 23 children in the home it was mixed some were girls all suffered some sort of abuse. But four of us were abandoned no family what's so ever three boys and a girl, the girl was sexually abused many times by the priests and the nuns as were the two of the boys, I must have been sexually abused at some point but it must be a very surpresed memory if I was I know the girl killed herself in her teens, and one of boys also died of an overdose. The other boy is alive and well happily married with children and we stay in contact and I stay at his home when I vist the uk it's very emotional every time we meet. Did the police know what was going on? Yeah sure they did they must have I wasn't the only one to talk, did the Authorities know? They definitely had an idea things were not right. Did some of the visitors know? I can't believe they didn't suspect! But guess what these are Nuns and Priests people of God they are on this earth to give love and care. Fortunately a lot of these places have been investigated and those still living have gone to jail, which to me is not enough. It has taken a lot out of me writing this, bit does help even if everyone is just in cyberspace. Need a whiskey now ffs. | |||
"Abuse...mine went unnoticed throughout my childhood into teens..violent abuse at home was bad enough but then it drove me to spend my time out of the house alone where I was picked up by other types of offender because they knew I had nowhere to run to...not back then...3 years ago flashbacks started and nearly destroyed me but here I am..I got through it...so I can assure ya it not only goes unnoticed but sometimes when recognised it is ignored.. I truly feel you pain I really do. The flash backs and nightmares never leave. I have told my story on here before, but it gets easier now so I will do it again and hopefully our story's will help others to find hope. I too was violently abused from as far back as I can remember, I was an Orphan, an abandoned baby, grow up in an Orphanage run by Nuns (The Sisters of the Nazarene) the treatment they give out was nothing more than sadistic torture, before I was 9yrs old I dad suffered two broken ribs, the bone calluses still stick out to this day the breaks were that bad, I have burn scars, also scars from being whipped and caned so hard the skin would split open. They treated the ones without any family or relatives, much worse than the others who had relatives there was nobody to ask awkward questions that way. I ran away numerous times always being taken back by the Police, they would ask about the scars and burns and I would tell them how I got them, they even took me to the Hospital once but the Doctor ignored everything and said I was a fit healthy buy who must get into fights and fall alot, so they still took me back, believing the Nuns that I was clumsy and always fighting and fell on a fire or iron or down the stairs. My punishment for defiance was locked in the celler for the night. It wasn't an Orphanage to us it was Hell a place of pain, misery and suffering. It all stopped about 6 month's before my 10th birthday, and i was removed from there on my 10th birthday, I now know why it stopped! There were 23 children in the home it was mixed some were girls all suffered some sort of abuse. But four of us were abandoned no family what's so ever three boys and a girl, the girl was sexually abused many times by the priests and the nuns as were the two of the boys, I must have been sexually abused at some point but it must be a very surpresed memory if I was I know the girl killed herself in her teens, and one of boys also died of an overdose. The other boy is alive and well happily married with children and we stay in contact and I stay at his home when I vist the uk it's very emotional every time we meet. Did the police know what was going on? Yeah sure they did they must have I wasn't the only one to talk, did the Authorities know? They definitely had an idea things were not right. Did some of the visitors know? I can't believe they didn't suspect! But guess what these are Nuns and Priests people of God they are on this earth to give love and care. Fortunately a lot of these places have been investigated and those still living have gone to jail, which to me is not enough. It has taken a lot out of me writing this, bit does help even if everyone is just in cyberspace. Need a whiskey now ffs. " Both of your stories have made my heart bleed for you and I hope that you have found or will find closure for your pasts one day. Virtual hugs to you both. | |||
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"Abuse...mine went unnoticed throughout my childhood into teens..violent abuse at home was bad enough but then it drove me to spend my time out of the house alone where I was picked up by other types of offender because they knew I had nowhere to run to...not back then...3 years ago flashbacks started and nearly destroyed me but here I am..I got through it...so I can assure ya it not only goes unnoticed but sometimes when recognised it is ignored.. I truly feel you pain I really do. The flash backs and nightmares never leave. I have told my story on here before, but it gets easier now so I will do it again and hopefully our story's will help others to find hope. I too was violently abused from as far back as I can remember, I was an Orphan, an abandoned baby, grow up in an Orphanage run by Nuns (The Sisters of the Nazarene) the treatment they give out was nothing more than sadistic torture, before I was 9yrs old I dad suffered two broken ribs, the bone calluses still stick out to this day the breaks were that bad, I have burn scars, also scars from being whipped and caned so hard the skin would split open. They treated the ones without any family or relatives, much worse than the others who had relatives there was nobody to ask awkward questions that way. I ran away numerous times always being taken back by the Police, they would ask about the scars and burns and I would tell them how I got them, they even took me to the Hospital once but the Doctor ignored everything and said I was a fit healthy buy who must get into fights and fall alot, so they still took me back, believing the Nuns that I was clumsy and always fighting and fell on a fire or iron or down the stairs. My punishment for defiance was locked in the celler for the night. It wasn't an Orphanage to us it was Hell a place of pain, misery and suffering. It all stopped about 6 month's before my 10th birthday, and i was removed from there on my 10th birthday, I now know why it stopped! There were 23 children in the home it was mixed some were girls all suffered some sort of abuse. But four of us were abandoned no family what's so ever three boys and a girl, the girl was sexually abused many times by the priests and the nuns as were the two of the boys, I must have been sexually abused at some point but it must be a very surpresed memory if I was I know the girl killed herself in her teens, and one of boys also died of an overdose. The other boy is alive and well happily married with children and we stay in contact and I stay at his home when I vist the uk it's very emotional every time we meet. Did the police know what was going on? Yeah sure they did they must have I wasn't the only one to talk, did the Authorities know? They definitely had an idea things were not right. Did some of the visitors know? I can't believe they didn't suspect! But guess what these are Nuns and Priests people of God they are on this earth to give love and care. Fortunately a lot of these places have been investigated and those still living have gone to jail, which to me is not enough. It has taken a lot out of me writing this, bit does help even if everyone is just in cyberspace. Need a whiskey now ffs. Yeah scotch does help...I find I can quietly process the chap without huge reactions cos the major stuff, I hope, is out so don't think it can get worse..he says crossing fingers...I learned quickly that the tears are mine, they belong to me and other people's opinions aren't the of consequence.....best wishes from the heart and soul to all those with similar backgrounds..my crazy have resulted in borderline personality and ptsd but my military training taught me to get thru it without drugs and therapists... the therapists just increased the traumatickets effects...the only thing a psychiatrist needs is a psychiatrist...quote by Marianne Faithful "  | |||
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"There was a guy in chat room today telling me and other ladies to go kill ourselves cause we are fat and ugly" Knob | |||
"There was a guy in chat room today telling me and other ladies to go kill ourselves cause we are fat and ugly Knob" To put it nicely I sat copy and pasting to report box  | |||
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"There was a guy in chat room today telling me and other ladies to go kill ourselves cause we are fat and ugly Knob To put it nicely I sat copy and pasting to report box "I glad you reported it. That's an awful thing to have had said to you. | |||
"There was a guy in chat room today telling me and other ladies to go kill ourselves cause we are fat and ugly" wtf is wrong with some people. What a thoroughly nasty man... | |||
"People need to share the love" It is good to share the love x  | |||
"People need to share the love" People need to share the pain. As a guy stuck for years suffering emotional abuse, the hardest thing of all is to talk about it. For a guy possibly even harder, as guys are supposed to be stronger. | |||
"People need to share the love People need to share the pain. As a guy stuck for years suffering emotional abuse, the hardest thing of all is to talk about it. For a guy possibly even harder, as guys are supposed to be stronger." people do also need to share the pain..it's good to talk.It's good just too be heard sometimes. | |||
"People need to share the love People need to share the pain. As a guy stuck for years suffering emotional abuse, the hardest thing of all is to talk about it. For a guy possibly even harder, as guys are supposed to be stronger." And I’m glad that ridiculous idea of guys being stronger over things like that is slowly fading away. I know someone who’s wife physically and mentally abused him, it was absolutely awful hearing it all and what he was going through. He stayed for the children and put up with it. There’s so much of this goes on and people don’t realise because men don’t speak up about it. Thank goodness they are starting to. | |||
"People need to share the love People need to share the pain. As a guy stuck for years suffering emotional abuse, the hardest thing of all is to talk about it. For a guy possibly even harder, as guys are supposed to be stronger. And I’m glad that ridiculous idea of guys being stronger over things like that is slowly fading away. I know someone who’s wife physically and mentally abused him, it was absolutely awful hearing it all and what he was going through. He stayed for the children and put up with it. There’s so much of this goes on and people don’t realise because men don’t speak up about it. Thank goodness they are starting to. " Very well said...alas abuse can work both ways | |||
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"Abuse comes in many shapes and forms and is not a lighthearted subject. People who are being abused don't always know that's what's happening to them. People perceive things as abuse when not and not see when it is. Physical abuse can leave signs however mental doesn't always leave signs. " with respect, I agree with most, but not line 3. If it feels like abuse, it is. | |||
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"Abuse...mine went unnoticed throughout my childhood into teens..violent abuse at home was bad enough but then it drove me to spend my time out of the house alone where I was picked up by other types of offender because they knew I had nowhere to run to...not back then...3 years ago flashbacks started and nearly destroyed me but here I am..I got through it...so I can assure ya it not only goes unnoticed but sometimes when recognised it is ignored.. I truly feel you pain I really do. The flash backs and nightmares never leave. I have told my story on here before, but it gets easier now so I will do it again and hopefully our story's will help others to find hope. I too was violently abused from as far back as I can remember, I was an Orphan, an abandoned baby, grow up in an Orphanage run by Nuns (The Sisters of the Nazarene) the treatment they give out was nothing more than sadistic torture, before I was 9yrs old I dad suffered two broken ribs, the bone calluses still stick out to this day the breaks were that bad, I have burn scars, also scars from being whipped and caned so hard the skin would split open. They treated the ones without any family or relatives, much worse than the others who had relatives there was nobody to ask awkward questions that way. I ran away numerous times always being taken back by the Police, they would ask about the scars and burns and I would tell them how I got them, they even took me to the Hospital once but the Doctor ignored everything and said I was a fit healthy buy who must get into fights and fall alot, so they still took me back, believing the Nuns that I was clumsy and always fighting and fell on a fire or iron or down the stairs. My punishment for defiance was locked in the celler for the night. It wasn't an Orphanage to us it was Hell a place of pain, misery and suffering. It all stopped about 6 month's before my 10th birthday, and i was removed from there on my 10th birthday, I now know why it stopped! There were 23 children in the home it was mixed some were girls all suffered some sort of abuse. But four of us were abandoned no family what's so ever three boys and a girl, the girl was sexually abused many times by the priests and the nuns as were the two of the boys, I must have been sexually abused at some point but it must be a very surpresed memory if I was I know the girl killed herself in her teens, and one of boys also died of an overdose. The other boy is alive and well happily married with children and we stay in contact and I stay at his home when I vist the uk it's very emotional every time we meet. Did the police know what was going on? Yeah sure they did they must have I wasn't the only one to talk, did the Authorities know? They definitely had an idea things were not right. Did some of the visitors know? I can't believe they didn't suspect! But guess what these are Nuns and Priests people of God they are on this earth to give love and care. Fortunately a lot of these places have been investigated and those still living have gone to jail, which to me is not enough. It has taken a lot out of me writing this, bit does help even if everyone is just in cyberspace. Need a whiskey now ffs. Both of your stories have made my heart bleed for you and I hope that you have found or will find closure for your pasts one day. Virtual hugs to you both." I found peace and learned a lot about myself, my problems and how to deal with them by forcing isolation living where I feel safest and at peace..amidst nature..lived in the woods and found a peace and actually my major breakdown was a breakthrough...I found the real me buried beneath my mind blocks...I'm happy now and have a wonderful partner that understands me......hugs back to you and thank you xx | |||
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"People need to share the love People need to share the pain. As a guy stuck for years suffering emotional abuse, the hardest thing of all is to talk about it. For a guy possibly even harder, as guys are supposed to be stronger. people do also need to share the pain..it's good to talk.It's good just too be heard sometimes." Thank you...seriously, just thank you x | |||
"Abuse...mine went unnoticed throughout my childhood into teens..violent abuse at home was bad enough but then it drove me to spend my time out of the house alone where I was picked up by other types of offender because they knew I had nowhere to run to...not back then...3 years ago flashbacks started and nearly destroyed me but here I am..I got through it...so I can assure ya it not only goes unnoticed but sometimes when recognised it is ignored.. I truly feel you pain I really do. The flash backs and nightmares never leave. I have told my story on here before, but it gets easier now so I will do it again and hopefully our story's will help others to find hope. I too was violently abused from as far back as I can remember, I was an Orphan, an abandoned baby, grow up in an Orphanage run by Nuns (The Sisters of the Nazarene) the treatment they give out was nothing more than sadistic torture, before I was 9yrs old I dad suffered two broken ribs, the bone calluses still stick out to this day the breaks were that bad, I have burn scars, also scars from being whipped and caned so hard the skin would split open. They treated the ones without any family or relatives, much worse than the others who had relatives there was nobody to ask awkward questions that way. I ran away numerous times always being taken back by the Police, they would ask about the scars and burns and I would tell them how I got them, they even took me to the Hospital once but the Doctor ignored everything and said I was a fit healthy buy who must get into fights and fall alot, so they still took me back, believing the Nuns that I was clumsy and always fighting and fell on a fire or iron or down the stairs. My punishment for defiance was locked in the celler for the night. It wasn't an Orphanage to us it was Hell a place of pain, misery and suffering. It all stopped about 6 month's before my 10th birthday, and i was removed from there on my 10th birthday, I now know why it stopped! There were 23 children in the home it was mixed some were girls all suffered some sort of abuse. But four of us were abandoned no family what's so ever three boys and a girl, the girl was sexually abused many times by the priests and the nuns as were the two of the boys, I must have been sexually abused at some point but it must be a very surpresed memory if I was I know the girl killed herself in her teens, and one of boys also died of an overdose. The other boy is alive and well happily married with children and we stay in contact and I stay at his home when I vist the uk it's very emotional every time we meet. Did the police know what was going on? Yeah sure they did they must have I wasn't the only one to talk, did the Authorities know? They definitely had an idea things were not right. Did some of the visitors know? I can't believe they didn't suspect! But guess what these are Nuns and Priests people of God they are on this earth to give love and care. Fortunately a lot of these places have been investigated and those still living have gone to jail, which to me is not enough. It has taken a lot out of me writing this, bit does help even if everyone is just in cyberspace. Need a whiskey now ffs. " I find writing my crap a good healer. I write a lot of it as poetry..OK it's raw and often hard hitting but it clears the decks to some extent..some of it does rage at the world but we do don t we..I found it was easier to write than talk because I found the large majority of my friends ran for cover when the tears started etc..do you listen to music? This is gonna sound pissed to average guy but music saved my ass..always loved it but when I feel an episode building or once I ve got thru flashback I whack the volume up til the windows shake..this replaced a sharp knife in that the brain can take focus on anything..it disorientated. ..but then I danced in the rain..then I just danced..then I went to dance classes and then I learned contemporary or expressive dance...music and dance saved my ass because that dance floor.that dance is a world where I can express what is happening and yeah I have danced my flashbacks thru...it worked for me...worth a try? Take care and stay strong | |||
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"The thing is it’s still abuse, when you are on the receiving end you are so far into it being normal behaviour that you don’t recognise it. The abusers are very crafty, they start with little things, like oh you don’t need to wear makeup/ do your hair I like you as you are, then they move onto other things, pick apart everything that makes you yourself. Then they isolate you as well. I suffered 22 years of it, I thought I was protecting my children from it but it’s also left them with issues. Many of my friends and family could see what was happening but I thought it was love. So yes sometimes outside help can be good but lots of times it’s finding the strength to walk away from the abuse x "  | |||
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"I have a friend who it happened to, she now relives the experience by acting it out. I’m not sure what to make of it as it can’t be healthy getting battered and beaten then play r@ped once a week- Then proudly displaying bruises, split lips and black eyes" For some it’s empowering to choose it as it became a normal thing for so long. By choosing it, they retain control, which they didn’t originally have. It’s not for me but whatever empowers someone to heal in whatever way they can is alright by me. -Mrs | |||
"I have a friend who it happened to, she now relives the experience by acting it out. I’m not sure what to make of it as it can’t be healthy getting battered and beaten then play r@ped once a week- Then proudly displaying bruises, split lips and black eyes For some it’s empowering to choose it as it became a normal thing for so long. By choosing it, they retain control, which they didn’t originally have. It’s not for me but whatever empowers someone to heal in whatever way they can is alright by me. -Mrs " True but should an alcoholic work in a pub? Surely fix the foundations first? | |||
"I have a friend who it happened to, she now relives the experience by acting it out. I’m not sure what to make of it as it can’t be healthy getting battered and beaten then play r@ped once a week- Then proudly displaying bruises, split lips and black eyes For some it’s empowering to choose it as it became a normal thing for so long. By choosing it, they retain control, which they didn’t originally have. It’s not for me but whatever empowers someone to heal in whatever way they can is alright by me. -Mrs " This isn't a route to healing | |||
