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Old people sayings
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Inspired by a comment made on the jizz up thread it just reminded me of the fucked up funny sayings old folks have
Im off to see a man about a dog my grandads fave  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Me "Dad, what's for dinner?"
My Dad "shite and sugar"  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Whit's fir ye'll no go by ye hen.
My granny's favourite. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Me "Dad, what's for dinner?"
My Dad "shite and sugar" "
i still say that |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Whit's fir ye'll no go by ye hen.
My granny's favourite."
totally lost  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dropping the kids off at the pool. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dropping the kids off at the pool."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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At the barbers. Anything for the weekend sir? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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'Fuck my aunt Kate' was dad's favourite saying. |
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My grandad.
"Fuck off you little cunt"
Ahhh the memories,far more innocent times back then bless him |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Me "Dad, what's for dinner?"
My Dad "shite and sugar" i still say that "
Fresh fart and garlic. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about" |
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stop crying or ill give you something to cry about |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My grandad.
"Fuck off you little cunt"
Ahhh the memories,far more innocent times back then bless him "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'll skin you alive!"  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do as I say don’t do as I do |
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Go walk into the river 'til yer hat floats |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If...... jumped off a bridge would you do it too? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wait until you get to my age!! |
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By * and BCouple
over a year ago
Durham |
"Inspired by a comment made on the jizz up thread it just reminded me of the fucked up funny sayings old folks have
Im off to see a man about a dog my grandads fave "
off to see a man about a dog... Do you know where that saying comes from? Clue,... it's a Geordie saying |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I remember when this was all fields  |
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seen more fat on a chip ,my dad |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My grandad used to say
On a hill there stood a coo,
It must be awa' fir it's not there noo. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"it looks wet over Bills mother's"
Who the fuck is Bill?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You kids don't know how good you've got it these days. |
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Five, fifths of fuck all, is still fuck all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ungrateful. All we got for Christmas was a tangerine,a handkerchief and a piece of coal!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Donkey years ago |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Only a faithful camel runs until it's dead."
I'm not sure this one translates very well |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Me "Dad, what's for dinner?"
My Dad "shite and sugar" "
We had....dog shit and pepper |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"if me aunt had bollocks she'd be my uncle" was my favourite |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Inspired by a comment made on the jizz up thread it just reminded me of the fucked up funny sayings old folks have
Im off to see a man about a dog my grandads fave
off to see a man about a dog... Do you know where that saying comes from? Clue,... it's a Geordie saying"
Heres a bigger clue to you being wrong
This idiom was first used in the play “The Flying Scud” written by Dion Boucicault in 1866. One of the characters tries to get out of a difficult situation by saying, "Excuse me Mr. Quail, I can't stop; I've got to see a man about a dog". Dont sound very geordie to me he said excuse me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don’t swallow chewing gum, it’ll wrap around your heart |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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""stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about" "
never understood that one lol
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Carry on and I'll slap you into next week........arhhhhh the good old days ...  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Carry on and I'll slap you into next week........arhhhhh the good old days ... "
ooooo a time machine should have said keep slapping me til im a grownup then il knock holy fuck out of ya |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about" never understood that one lol"
Well it means the child was crying for very on no reason and would get something to really upset them if they carried on being so babyish. You’re welcome |
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Well I'll be a Dutchman's uncle.. |
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"Carry on and I'll slap you into next week........arhhhhh the good old days ... ooooo a time machine should have said keep slapping me til im a grownup then il knock holy fuck out of ya "
That was the social worker! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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""stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about" never understood that one lol
Well it means the child was crying for very on no reason and would get something to really upset them if they carried on being so babyish. You’re welcome "
But isnt the idea to shut them up thats why i dont get it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ll you a good hiding if you carry on.
(Never got one the threat was enough!) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Keep sticking your tongue out and the birds will peck it off |
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As sure as god made little apples |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s like Blackpool illuminations in this house |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You won't be the first & you certainly won't be the last!.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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[Removed by poster at 05/09/19 15:00:55] |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have some council pop!..ie) water! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No you can’t have that. Who do you think I am? Rockefeller? |
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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
In my day we used to work harder..
To which I replied, but you did have cocaine in your soft drinks, so that's unfair.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Most of these I say to my son now lol
My dads favourite was “if the wind changes your face will stay like that”
My uncle says “there nothing but a jumped up never come down window licker”
And “you have more chance of a wank of the pope”
Mrscxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Eeeeeee by ek you’ve got bonny legs lass
(Don’t you just love grandmas ) |
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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
While running round naked on the beach and a toddler...
A seagull will come and bite it off! |
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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago
Hull |
If you ever asked my granny where something was she’d say ‘up in Annie’s room, behind clock’. We were always too scared ask who is Annie and where is her room.
Another favourite was if you asked where she’d been she’d say ‘There and back to see how far it is’
Strange old lady - must be where I get it from |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you ever asked my granny where something was she’d say ‘up in Annie’s room, behind clock’. We were always too scared ask who is Annie and where is her room.
Another favourite was if you asked where she’d been she’d say ‘There and back to see how far it is’
Strange old lady - must be where I get it from "
I always say there and back to see how far it is if my son asks where we are going
Mrscxxx |
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If your bored...go and play on the motorway!!
...from my dad...RIP x |
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If it was cloudy my dad would say “it’s looking black over Bill’s mother’s”
If we asked what was for diner it was “shit wi sugar on” or “half a box of nowt”
If we asked where Mam was he would say “yer mam’s run off wi a black man” |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about" never understood that one lol
Well it means the child was crying for very on no reason and would get something to really upset them if they carried on being so babyish. You’re welcome
But isnt the idea to shut them up thats why i dont get it"
The threat is intended to stop them crying. It's the threat of punishment. Never works though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If it was cloudy my dad would say “it’s looking black over Bill’s mother’s”
If we asked what was for diner it was “shit wi sugar on” or “half a box of nowt”
If we asked where Mam was he would say “yer mam’s run off wi a black man” "
My mam used to say Shit n sugar sandwiches |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Were you born in a barn? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Your not too big for a clip round the ear hole |
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"Carry on and I'll slap you into next week........arhhhhh the good old days ... "
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"If it was cloudy my dad would say “it’s looking black over Bill’s mother’s”
If we asked what was for diner it was “shit wi sugar on” or “half a box of nowt”
If we asked where Mam was he would say “yer mam’s run off wi a black man”
My mam used to say Shit n sugar sandwiches "
my mam did |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh be the hokey |
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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago
Hull |
"Up the wooden hill.."
My mum says up the wooden hill to Bedfordshire |
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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago
Hull |
You make a better door than a window - if you stand in someone’s way and block their sight usually of the tv.
Put wood in t’hole - meaning shut the door.
It’s like Blackpool illuminations in here - if you dared to turn the top light on when one of the small lamps was also on! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You make a better door than a window - if you stand in someone’s way and block their sight usually of the tv.
Put wood in t’hole - meaning shut the door.
It’s like Blackpool illuminations in here - if you dared to turn the top light on when one of the small lamps was also on! "
memories |
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By *uzzy NavelWoman
over a year ago
so near and yet so far.... |
"Me "Dad, what's for dinner?"
My Dad "shite and sugar" i still say that
Fresh fart and garlic."
Dirt and worms |
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My dad was blind in one eye so he would like the “big light” on when it started to get dark |
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If I asked my mum if she was ok she'd say ” I've got a bone in my leg"
If I asked what was for dinner it would be " bread and pull it" or "six jumps at the larder door"
It took me years to work out that "what died long ago, manners took its place" wasn't a question.
If I stated the blindingly obvious she would just look at me and say "queen Anne's dead" |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If I asked my mum if she was ok she'd say ” I've got a bone in my leg"
If I asked what was for dinner it would be " bread and pull it" or "six jumps at the larder door"
It took me years to work out that "what died long ago, manners took its place" wasn't a question.
If I stated the blindingly obvious she would just look at me and say "queen Anne's dead""
legend |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My dad was blind in one eye so he would like the “big light” on when it started to get dark "
The big light. Not heard that in a long time |
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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago
Hull |
"If I asked my mum if she was ok she'd say ” I've got a bone in my leg"
If I asked what was for dinner it would be " bread and pull it" or "six jumps at the larder door"
It took me years to work out that "what died long ago, manners took its place" wasn't a question.
If I stated the blindingly obvious she would just look at me and say "queen Anne's dead""
My mum says she can’t do anything because she’s got a bone in her leg and the others made of chocolate. And the bit of bread and pull it one. Either that or SOS meaning stretch or starve. That was on Fridays when she got snacky sort of stuff in for tea and we had to help ourselves as she was out at work and didn’t have time to cook.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Best finnish ya tea theres kids starvin in africa |
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Keep your hand on your ha'penny was one of my nan's |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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“If the wind changes you’ll stay like that!” |
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An old friend used to say
Fuck a priest! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You know fuckall about fuckall |
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Were you born in a barn lad? If you left the door open in winter. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Did anyone used to make slop dosh , ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Best finnish ya tea theres kids starvin in africa "
I use this with my daughter, despite there not being continued coverage of year after year of starvation in Africa like there was in the 80s?
Whenever she leaves a bit of pasta say, I'd comment with "There's kids who would happily walk 20 miles in burning heat and say prayers of thanks for 2 hours for THAT..."
B |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If a frog had wings it wouldn’t bump its ass
Blind man on a galloping horse would glad the sight
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That will teach you |
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You'll feel the back of my hand |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What's for you won't go by you...
Don't let the bastards grind you down |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My grandad when going for a wee ‘I’m going to turn my bike round ‘ never did get that one ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You make a better door than a window - if you stand in someone’s way and block their sight usually of the tv.
Put wood in t’hole - meaning shut the door.
It’s like Blackpool illuminations in here - if you dared to turn the top light on when one of the small lamps was also on!
memories "
My memories too, in fact I say the first and last ones... plus many more. This thread is making me smile and cringe at myself a little
C |
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Stop picking your nose or you won't get a treat, My nan said it all the time,
Stop sticking your tongue out/pulling faces if the wind changes it will stick
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If...... jumped off a bridge would you do it too? "
I say that to my children, does that mean I'm old?? |
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By *ookie46Woman
over a year ago
Deepest darkest Peru |
Shut the door, were you born in a field |
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By *ewrocksWoman
over a year ago
button moon |
You weren't born in a barn so shut the fecking door. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We're all Jock Tamson's Bairns |
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Carry on and I'll knock seven colours of shit out of you.
What ever trever.
Bob's your uncle.
How long before teas cooked, how longs a piece of string. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Grandma used to say up the wooden hill when we went to bed
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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago
Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe |
""it looks wet over Bills mother's"
Who the fuck is Bill??"
I'm Bill lol
My dad used to say "he's as much use as a one-legged man in an arse-kicking contest" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't go into a Turkish barber shop without a condom |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Third class travel is better than first class walking. |
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By *latinumkittenWoman
over a year ago
from Home Counties to Middle Earth |
Someone I know who's an early riser and came from a big family says,
'First up, best dressed' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ll make ye smile on the other side of your face !!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Up the wooden hill..
My mum says up the wooden hill to Bedfordshire "
The rest we were told is,
Down Sheet Lane to Blanket Fair. |
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[Removed by poster at 05/09/19 18:18:13] |
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For god sake , turn of that immersion |
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By * and BCouple
over a year ago
Durham |
"Inspired by a comment made on the jizz up thread it just reminded me of the fucked up funny sayings old folks have
Im off to see a man about a dog my grandads fave
off to see a man about a dog... Do you know where that saying comes from? Clue,... it's a Geordie saying
Heres a bigger clue to you being wrong
This idiom was first used in the play “The Flying Scud” written by Dion Boucicault in 1866. One of the characters tries to get out of a difficult situation by saying, "Excuse me Mr. Quail, I can't stop; I've got to see a man about a dog". Dont sound very geordie to me he said excuse me "
Its on the back of Newcastle Brown Ale. Known as DOG. Way way back the Miners would come home from the Pit and tell the wife they are going to see a man about a dog. Meaning they were off to the pub,hence where Newcastle Brown got its nik name |
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By *iss.RedWoman
over a year ago
somewhere |
Shut the door, were you born in a barn? |
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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago
Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe |
My gran used to say "well, I'll go to the foot of our stairs", and "if you leave your coat on in the house, you won't feel the benefit when you go back out". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Keep uaing that language and I will wash your mouth with soap
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Loving these old sayings.... taking me back and making me smile
anyone know where this came from ??
If you'll stand for that you'll stand for t' drop of York.
i think it meant you would let someone walk all over you !! |
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"My grandad when going for a wee ‘I’m going to turn my bike round ‘ never did get that one !"
Love this one
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Keeping do that and you.ll go blind |
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Wipe that smile off your face.... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Shut the door, were you born in a barn?"
its suppost to be field barns have doors fields dont
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
Bob’s ya mother’s brother.
Was brought back to me awhile ago on the forums. |
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Is your budgie deed? heard it up in the north east bonus points if someone know what it means (I do) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is your budgie deed? heard it up in the north east bonus points if someone know what it means (I do)"
Hahaha yes! It means your trousers are too short!
B |
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If the wind blows you’ll stay like that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This even got expanded in the 80s so that any jeans, trousers or trackies that were too bloody small got called "budgies".... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He don't hear must feel"
Which was usually said after I fucked up a multitude of times before getting the belt |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Take your coyt off in ere you wont feel the benefit otherwise |
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Not really a saying, but walking with your hands behind your back is a kind of old folks thing to do. |
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"Is your budgie deed? heard it up in the north east bonus points if someone know what it means (I do)
Hahaha yes! It means your trousers are too short!
B"
Spot on confused the hell out of me when I lived there |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Not really a saying, but walking with your hands behind your back is a kind of old folks thing to do."
bit dangerous at there age |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Clean your plate..there are thousands in Africa starving |
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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago
Hull |
"Is your budgie deed? heard it up in the north east bonus points if someone know what it means (I do)
Hahaha yes! It means your trousers are too short!
B
Spot on confused the hell out of me when I lived there"
Oh we used to say has your cat died? I wondered if it was because your trousers are at half mast like a flag is when someone important dies? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You make a better door than a window, if we stood in front of the tv. It’s like Blackpool illuminations here if we didn’t turn the lights off. Don’t come running to me if you break your legs, if we did anything dangerous. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your face will stop like that. |
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
Act your age, not your shoe size |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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'are you courting"? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No you cant have that. Do you think I'm made of money ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That's about as much use as a cow with a gun in an abattoir |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Inspired by a comment made on the jizz up thread it just reminded me of the fucked up funny sayings old folks have
Im off to see a man about a dog my grandads fave "
My Dad fav saying to |
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You're not as green as you're cabbage looking!
Meaning you're not as daft as you look |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is your budgie deed? heard it up in the north east bonus points if someone know what it means (I do)
Hahaha yes! It means your trousers are too short!
B
Spot on confused the hell out of me when I lived there
Oh we used to say has your cat died? I wondered if it was because your trousers are at half mast like a flag is when someone important dies? "
And that is exactly where it came from; "trousers worn at half-mast?" But it was always "budgies" in Teesside where I grew up...
B |
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
"'are you courting"?"
Ours was "are you winching?"  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Give me my purse back you little bastard |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you ask my dad if he’s got ........ “no but I’ve got a sister on the gas board if you want to meter!” ??????? |
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Does Chris bonnington have chapped lips! Heard that daily as a kid |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Act your age, not your shoe size"
One of the high school teachers used to always say that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Off to hit the hay... my dad used it all the time, when we were young and he was going for a nap.
Holly |
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What's your fax number
The cheques in the post
Yes yes of course I love you
That's ace
Can I borrow your calculator |
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'Haud yer wheesht' .... you've lost your head or keep quiet. |
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When something is certain
Do bears shit in the woods
Do one legged ducks swim on circles
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If my dog was that ugly id shave its arse and teach it to walk backwards. |
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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago
Hull |
When as a child and playing up, Mum would often say.."do you want a Slap?"
As if I'd say, "Ooh, Yes please!" 
Or, when asking "what's for dinner?" to get a response of "you'll get what you're given!"
Eh? Why not just say what it was? |
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Were you born in a barn?
Don't let it hit you where the good lord split ya |
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Don't forget to set the timer(VHS tape for a good film) etc |
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I'll pick up a film on my way home(rent a VHS film) |
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By *XimagesCouple
over a year ago
north liverpool |
"Don't make me come over there and slap you .."
"Do you want to feel the back of my hand.."
"Wait till your Father gets home.."
"Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about.."
Grandad used to say he was "just going down the yard" (outside toilet)
"She ??" , "She is the cats mother"
"Don't call me Nanny, I'm not a goat" (Gma)
"Where are you going ?".. "There and back to see how far it is... if it's too far I won't go"
"He's as bright as sunshine on a dark night"
"If brains were gunpowder, he couldn't blow his nose"
"Don't stand there like one of Lewis'.."
Think it was a reference to the mannequins in Lewis' store
"You're not going out with me dressed like that"
Fond memories...
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Do you kids think money grows on trees?
(Chorus)Yes it's made from wood. |
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Were you born in a barn?
I don't remember I was only little... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Put clean underwear on in case you get run over |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If...... jumped off a bridge would you do it too? "
One of my mum's favourite haha |
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We’ll see.
When asking for something.
It meant no. |
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"Whit's fir ye'll no go by ye hen.
My granny's favourite."
My grandparents are scottish...we was always called hen |
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"If...... jumped off a bridge would you do it too?
One of my mum's favourite haha"
I remember this lol |
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""stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about" "
what a classic |
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By *latinumkittenWoman
over a year ago
from Home Counties to Middle Earth |
A little bit of everything does you good |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If the bobbyman catches you- you'll get a clip |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m not a green as I am cabbage looking |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Go and ask your mum for a long weight...deliberately spelt the way it was interpreted |
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If the wind changes, your face will stay like that
And my mums favourite
Whenever I asked "why?" she would reply "Z"
Took me years to figure that one out |
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Do you think I was born yesterday |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We’ll see.
When asking for something.
It meant no."
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"I remember when"
In my day........ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don’t pull that face, if the wind changes you’ll stay like it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Were you born in a barn
Fuggin Jesus H Christ, it's taters out there!
I have only ever heard my Dad say that! |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
We drove past a very tall chap with my nan in the car and she said “he’s a long streek of lightning”.
First time i’d heard that.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
My gramp used to fart and then say “whether you be at Church or Chapel, let it rattle” |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just wait till your father gets home |
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and to suit his morning..... hair of the dog |
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