FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > How many men would let their OH...
How many men would let their OH...
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... have a girlfriend, without you having any expectation of being involved at all?
It's clear there are several women here looking for other women and there are often comments that the a woman in a couple tends to come with strings attached - specifically that her male partner wants to join in, when they don't want a man involved at all.
This surprises me (Luke). Hannah has been with another woman on more than one occasion during our relationship. I don't feel threatened by it or feel that I should be allowed to get involved physically. If I was allowed to join in by both parties and I was attracted to the other woman then that would be great but it's certainly not a requirement. I know this other woman personally, we get on well, and we are all quite open with each other that her relationship with Hannah is sexual. We are not embarrassed or ashamed about that.
I have no issues conceptually with Hannah going and spending the night with another woman, or spending time together without me. I would even stay out late or away for the night if they wanted time alone together at our place. My stipulations would be that the other woman understands that my relationship with Hannah is the top priority for us and extra relationships must not impact on it negatively; and the other woman must be OK with me, chat with me, be happy with me knowing about their relationship etc.
Am I alone in having this attitude?
(I would not have this opinion with Hannah and other men.) |
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my oh had a girlfriend for a while but it didnt end to well as the other woman started to get to clingy .i had no intention of getting involved , but the other woman couldnt handle the fact she was with me and had no intention of leaving me.oh had to finish things . |
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"I'm interested to know why a man is different to a woman?
For me neither would be acceptable, we are here for our fun, and us been involved in throuples or poly is not for us "
The difference in my mind is that I can't provide for Hannah what a woman can and I wouldn't want to stop her from experiencing it if she wanted to with a suitable woman.
Regarding polyamory, this would not be a love situation. I think that would be damaging to our relationship so I would rule it out. Hannah and I are in love and we have the relationship in which those emotions are appropriate.
Sex is not all about love as I'm sure you know. If Hannah and another woman want to enjoy sexual intimacy together as friends then that's what I'm fine with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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ive met many over the years im lucky to have a hubs that happy for us to both be very open with our sex life but i have found that the women that i have met do want to get more involved than just sex and fun and become clingy and that turns me off so quickly but what really gets me is how many of these women have really shitty lives with there swinging husbands the horror stories i hear no wonder they get clingy hence i no longer look for single women on here ill meet in a club for fun and that's that ..not here for emotional baggage just fun |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You’re not alone in that. G feels much the same. I don’t have a regular playmate but who I play with it isn’t assumed she’s for him as well, although we also would both play with some people if all parties wanted.
I wouldn’t meet a woman if the rule was her partner had to watch or we couldn’t meet I think, as same as any woman, I don’t want to be male entertainment. My words aren’t coming over we’ll but basically I agree with you oP  |
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By *ipseyTwoCouple
over a year ago
Biggleswade |
Mrs T has a friend who she has known for a while. Recently (as in about a year ago) when they go out drinking, they end up playing. I find this really exciting!
I have no desire to watch or be involved, but it makes us both very turned on! I have even been in the next room when it has happened. Loved tasting her when I kissed Mrs T! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm interested to know why a man is different to a woman?
For me neither would be acceptable, we are here for our fun, and us been involved in throuples or poly is not for us "
For us it’s simply that my husband isn’t a woman.
I don’t have emotional ties or a proper relationship ( with my imaginary woman friend) I am married to G. Me seeing women separately isn’t a threat to us personally as we decide the terms of our partnership. I am friends with women, sexually attracted to women but not romantically attracted. My husband is still and always first and always would be. |
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By *ipseyTwoCouple
over a year ago
Biggleswade |
"I'm interested to know why a man is different to a woman?
For me neither would be acceptable, we are here for our fun, and us been involved in throuples or poly is not for us
For us it’s simply that my husband isn’t a woman.
I don’t have emotional ties or a proper relationship ( with my imaginary woman friend) I am married to G. Me seeing women separately isn’t a threat to us personally as we decide the terms of our partnership. I am friends with women, sexually attracted to women but not romantically attracted. My husband is still and always first and always would be. "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What's oh ? And my missus fucked a woman itd be over "
Oh is other half.
Does your missus approve of you being on here? Seems a double standard of highest proportions. |
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"I'm interested to know why a man is different to a woman?
For me neither would be acceptable, we are here for our fun, and us been involved in throuples or poly is not for us
For us it’s simply that my husband isn’t a woman.
I don’t have emotional ties or a proper relationship ( with my imaginary woman friend) I am married to G. Me seeing women separately isn’t a threat to us personally as we decide the terms of our partnership. I am friends with women, sexually attracted to women but not romantically attracted. My husband is still and always first and always would be. "
Precisely our thoughts. |
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"Ok so would it be ok if you both had separate female partners?"
Not for us. If she wants a female partner and/or if I want a male partner, that's all fine. If we meet people of the opposite sex, we meet together. |
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"
I hope you find what you are looking for. Are you having any success? "
There was a lady a few years ago when we joined up (as featured in my pictures) but she moved away.
I tried the clubscene but it wasn't what I was looking for.
There's been a couple of near misses in the past couple of years and one couple that live literally just down the road from me but they've gone radio silent and my last message a week ago is unread even though they're on multiple times a day.
It's frustrating and likely to end going nowhere, it's part of the reason why I've not bothered to renew membership here.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What's oh ? And my missus fucked a woman itd be over
Oh is other half.
Does your missus approve of you being on here? Seems a double standard of highest proportions. "
Awh I see. No does she hell, if she did I would expect her to end it tbh so not double standards |
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It wouldn’t work for us.
When we were meeting I would always be present at meets, and although I happily watched plenty of times ( without getting involved ) we had no intention of meeting separately with either sex.
Since we gave it all up over a year ago we have briefly talked about my wife meeting someone else and telling me about it when she gets home. But to be honest that would be a guy as although she is just as happy meeting a woman, it’s not as appealing to her without an audience. |
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"Ok so would it be ok if you both had separate female partners?
Not for us. If she wants a female partner and/or if I want a male partner, that's all fine. If we meet people of the opposite sex, we meet together. "
our thoughts exactly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What's oh ? And my missus fucked a woman itd be over "
Why would it be over. Is it not double standards if you're allowed to fuck other women, but your mrs isn't. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s something I’ve always asked myself and in theory I’m absolutely fine with it.
L however, isn’t.
She’s not interested in any form of relationship that doesn’t involve me even though I’ve assured her it’s perfectly fine. |
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"I'm interested to know why a man is different to a woman?
For me neither would be acceptable, we are here for our fun, and us been involved in throuples or poly is not for us
For us it’s simply that my husband isn’t a woman.
I don’t have emotional ties or a proper relationship ( with my imaginary woman friend) I am married to G. Me seeing women separately isn’t a threat to us personally as we decide the terms of our partnership. I am friends with women, sexually attracted to women but not romantically attracted. My husband is still and always first and always would be. "
It sounds like a good way to go would be if there were two couples in which the women were each looking for experiences with another woman and the mole OHs were fine with them getting together. It would help avoid misunderstandings and false expectations.
How many couples like that approach? |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
I guess this is where I maybe differ.
A couple of my relationships prior to S were with other girls, one lasted over three years & I have said to S on occasion that if we for whatever reason were no longer together there'd be just as much chance of me going back to a girl/girl relationship than there would another guy.
So as others have said sometimes another female gets too clingy & maybe jealous. I don't want that & that is why it's "WE" would like a lady to join "US".
That's not to say further down the road I wouldn't have one on one meets with her due to work/life commitments of S but it is us they are meeting first & foremost & hopefully being part of OUR lives not MY life.
I do think we are in the wrong place here on fab, though i'm not sure where the right place is. :-/
xx
H
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I came to Fab a ..ahem..a while ago wanting to explore with couples.
I wanted it to be a mutually pleasurable experience for us all.
It was never about what I wanted - it was always about them.
Too many rules.
I no longer meet couples- it's too stressful!
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Mr feels the same as you!!!