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in love with 2 females / Torn between 2 lovers.
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"Are they both saying you have to choose one of them or would they be willing to look along the poly route? If not only you can decide what to do. " Its more a - choose - both want me to choose, and both want to live with me for rest of their lives, make up home, I simply love both of them, I want to see both okay, do not wish to hurt or cause harm to either, I feel so screwed up | |||
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"Get them to prove which one loves you more, some sort of competition." no, I cannot do that, that is so wrong, I love both in separate ways, my wife is very pretty and much younger and the girl I am seeing has a heart of gold, both have accepted this situation but wish me to decide, and I simply cannot decide, I do not want to hurt either, obviously I already have, as I am seeing both, but I truly love both. | |||
"I really feel bad, feel shitty but cannot help my love for both, this is not a "fling" or just a bit flirting or fun, I am totally in love with both. I simply do not know what to do. ." I wouldn’t look to this site for marriage guidance... actually, with all that going on, I’m surprised you’re looking at this site at all! Each to their own, I can understand how you can love two women separately, differently, yet at the same time - but you need to work this out for yourself, I’m afraid. Good luck! | |||
"One must offer something the other doesnt...perhaps the new lady has rekindled a spark you may have lost and thats your attraction... The thing is, you'll always love your wife...but are you 'in love' is another question... you cant be if you played around.. A mix of guilt, pleasure and sin...a toxic but addictive mix of emotions... Most will say be a man and leave your wife and anyone who is a real friend will tell your wife the same.. Be happy, have fun and live for yourself, let your wife go, perhaps she will find someone who really wants her and she will be happy too..... Just my opinion... doesn't mean a damn thing what I or anyone else says. .youve your own heart and soul...rip off the plaster, it hurts for a second and then you will realise how much youve healed yourself after..." I am at this moment buying my wife a new home, ensuring she will have a fully paid off home and no financial worries I was intending then to buy or rent a simillar property for myself until I - as you say, get my head straight Our home we live in at present is on the market. The girl I am also seeing, wants to sell her home, and wants both her and myself to move in together My mind is saying leave both and live on my own for some time without a relationship, but I simply love them both. | |||
"Get them to prove which one loves you more, some sort of competition. no, I cannot do that, that is so wrong, I love both in separate ways, my wife is very pretty and much younger and the girl I am seeing has a heart of gold, both have accepted this situation but wish me to decide, and I simply cannot decide, I do not want to hurt either, obviously I already have, as I am seeing both, but I truly love both." You keep referring to your new love as a girl OP, and you say your wife is much younger. What ages are they ? | |||
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"Get them to prove which one loves you more, some sort of competition. no, I cannot do that, that is so wrong, I love both in separate ways, my wife is very pretty and much younger and the girl I am seeing has a heart of gold, both have accepted this situation but wish me to decide, and I simply cannot decide, I do not want to hurt either, obviously I already have, as I am seeing both, but I truly love both. You keep referring to your new love as a girl OP, and you say your wife is much younger. What ages are they ?" my wife is 40, my girlfriend is 47 | |||
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"Get them to prove which one loves you more, some sort of competition. no, I cannot do that, that is so wrong, I love both in separate ways, my wife is very pretty and much younger and the girl I am seeing has a heart of gold, both have accepted this situation but wish me to decide, and I simply cannot decide, I do not want to hurt either, obviously I already have, as I am seeing both, but I truly love both. You keep referring to your new love as a girl OP, and you say your wife is much younger. What ages are they ? my wife is 40, my girlfriend is 47" Ok, sorry OP but them description of girl for a 47yo woman leads me to believe you may see this new wiman as a naive and innocent person. Do you feel an obligation towards her because you see her as a kind of delicate kind-hearted angel you've wronged ? | |||
"Get them to prove which one loves you more, some sort of competition. no, I cannot do that, that is so wrong, I love both in separate ways, my wife is very pretty and much younger and the girl I am seeing has a heart of gold, both have accepted this situation but wish me to decide, and I simply cannot decide, I do not want to hurt either, obviously I already have, as I am seeing both, but I truly love both. You keep referring to your new love as a girl OP, and you say your wife is much younger. What ages are they ? my wife is 40, my girlfriend is 47 Ok, sorry OP but them description of girl for a 47yo woman leads me to believe you may see this new wiman as a naive and innocent person. Do you feel an obligation towards her because you see her as a kind of delicate kind-hearted angel you've wronged ?" absolutely not, she is far from naïve, she is a very strong minded independent person, a size 12 -14 | |||
"And you're on here because?..." Bingo  | |||
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"Get them to prove which one loves you more, some sort of competition. no, I cannot do that, that is so wrong, I love both in separate ways, my wife is very pretty and much younger and the girl I am seeing has a heart of gold, both have accepted this situation but wish me to decide, and I simply cannot decide, I do not want to hurt either, obviously I already have, as I am seeing both, but I truly love both. You keep referring to your new love as a girl OP, and you say your wife is much younger. What ages are they ? my wife is 40, my girlfriend is 47 Ok, sorry OP but them description of girl for a 47yo woman leads me to believe you may see this new wiman as a naive and innocent person. Do you feel an obligation towards her because you see her as a kind of delicate kind-hearted angel you've wronged ? absolutely not, she is far from naïve, she is a very strong minded independent person, a size 12 -14" My mistake, read too much into a term used. On a side note, it's ridiculous dresses don't come in size 13. | |||
"And you're on here because?... Bingo "He pinky promises not to fall in love with girl 3 and keep it purely sexual. | |||
"Get them to prove which one loves you more, some sort of competition. no, I cannot do that, that is so wrong, I love both in separate ways, my wife is very pretty and much younger and the girl I am seeing has a heart of gold, both have accepted this situation but wish me to decide, and I simply cannot decide, I do not want to hurt either, obviously I already have, as I am seeing both, but I truly love both. You keep referring to your new love as a girl OP, and you say your wife is much younger. What ages are they ? my wife is 40, my girlfriend is 47 Ok, sorry OP but them description of girl for a 47yo woman leads me to believe you may see this new wiman as a naive and innocent person. Do you feel an obligation towards her because you see her as a kind of delicate kind-hearted angel you've wronged ? absolutely not, she is far from naïve, she is a very strong minded independent person, a size 12 -14" What the fuck has her dress size got to do with you being a cheat?... | |||
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"I think both women need a word with themselves and both fuck him off!!!!" Totally agree .. at first I felt like I wanted it to work with his wife but the more comments have been made and even about the others dress size all I see is a old fashioned man pig bragging about what he’s done and I hope both women piss him off. | |||
"I think both women need a word with themselves and both fuck him off!!!! Totally agree .. at first I felt like I wanted it to work with his wife but the more comments have been made and even about the others dress size all I see is a old fashioned man pig bragging about what he’s done and I hope both women piss him off. "  | |||
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"And you're on here because?... Bingo "House!  | |||
"And you're on here because?... Bingo House! "You win | |||
"Get them to prove which one loves you more, some sort of competition. no, I cannot do that, that is so wrong, I love both in separate ways, my wife is very pretty and much younger and the girl I am seeing has a heart of gold, both have accepted this situation but wish me to decide, and I simply cannot decide, I do not want to hurt either, obviously I already have, as I am seeing both, but I truly love both. You keep referring to your new love as a girl OP, and you say your wife is much younger. What ages are they ? my wife is 40, my girlfriend is 47 Ok, sorry OP but them description of girl for a 47yo woman leads me to believe you may see this new wiman as a naive and innocent person. Do you feel an obligation towards her because you see her as a kind of delicate kind-hearted angel you've wronged ? absolutely not, she is far from naïve, she is a very strong minded independent person, a size 12 -14 What the fuck has her dress size got to do with you being a cheat?..." Was wondering that myself!!!!  | |||
"Im in a polyamorous relationship myself with two amazing girls and it works very well x" Lucky! | |||
"Right Who did you say vows to? Vows made to god that you would love and cherish and be faithful to until death did you part? Your wife I presume? What made you want to marry her? Can’t you look into her eyes and for a second forget about how “normal” and “repetitive” things have become and remember that first kiss you shared with her, the first time she said she loved you, the feelings of nerves and excitement you I’d when you proposed and everything else’s, look at your wife! But I mean really look at her, into her beautiful eyes and remember, remember it all ...." This 
Jo.Xx | |||
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"And you're on here because?... Bingo House!
You win "OOOOOHHHH what’s the booby prize?  | |||
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"Like someone pointed out earlier OP you may love your wife but your not in love with her or you wouldn't have cheated in the first place Leave them both,it's not fair to either of them" Absolutely THIS | |||
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"Im in a polyamorous relationship myself with two amazing girls and it works very well x Lucky!" Thanks and yes agreed cheating isnt a good foundation to build any relationship on even a poly one. Need to leave them both alone and take time to rethink your priorities. | |||
"And you're on here because?... Bingo House!
You win OOOOOHHHH what’s the booby prize? "Depends which one I'm chatting with the lovely lady or you lol | |||
"Polyamory?" | |||
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"Right Who did you say vows to? Vows made to god that you would love and cherish and be faithful to until death did you part? Your wife I presume? What made you want to marry her? Can’t you look into her eyes and for a second forget about how “normal” and “repetitive” things have become and remember that first kiss you shared with her, the first time she said she loved you, the feelings of nerves and excitement you I’d when you proposed and everything else’s, look at your wife! But I mean really look at her, into her beautiful eyes and remember, remember it all .... This
Jo.Xx "This too but there were obviously issues which led to an affair are they likely to return or are they resolved completely. | |||
"Leave them both. They deserve better than this...." That sounds rather judgmental and simplistic. Not sure the advice will be much help to the OP. | |||
"Leave them both. Have a word with yourself. Sort your life out and when you know what it is in life you want, then enter into a relationship where you’re not messing someone around and breaking someone’s faith in men." | |||
"And you're on here because?... Bingo House!
You win OOOOOHHHH what’s the booby prize?
Depends which one I'm chatting with the lovely lady or you lol "I really don’t know what you are talking about  lol | |||
"Polyamory? " | |||
"Leave them both. They deserve better than this.... That sounds rather judgmental and simplistic. Not sure the advice will be much help to the OP. " It’s advice and I’m not the only person who has said the same so unsure why you are highlighting my comment. They deserve better then him, he is being unfair to both women. | |||
"And you're on here because?... Bingo House!
You win OOOOOHHHH what’s the booby prize?
Depends which one I'm chatting with the lovely lady or you lol I really don’t know what you are talking about lol "Knob lol | |||
"and on top of all that you're on here!" that's a bloody good point | |||
"Leave them both. They deserve better than this.... That sounds rather judgmental and simplistic. Not sure the advice will be much help to the OP. It’s advice and I’m not the only person who has said the same so unsure why you are highlighting my comment. They deserve better then him, he is being unfair to both women. " And its a fair point. If you start a poly or swinging relationship with someone and you are both under full knowledge that its happening then that's a happy healthy relationship. If you attempt to start a poly/sing relationship because you've been playing away then that's just stupidity. All trust is gone. Some people may like the idea of their partner cheating, and there's nothing wrong with that if it's your thing but by the sounds of things his wife didn't have any knowledge of it happening and certainly wasn't turned on by the thought of her husband with another woman. | |||
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"Op. Your lover is a luxury item and she probably knows it. Men tend to feel very lucky to have this opportunity. Your wife is a sure bet, normal, essential. I'm assuming you haven't actually spent a lot of time dwelling with your lover? Has she smelt your silent farts, listened to your burps, washed your clothes, changed your bed? Will she still want you as much after time or will the novelty wear off. You aren't living with her and she isn't having to deal with annoying little habits that may turn the relationship into exactly what you have with your wife! You've invested time with your lover and may not have set out to fall in love with her, but cheating is a very slippery slope and you now seem to be struggling to handle the situation. Only you can decide what to do for the best and leaving a long-term relationship will take enormous courage on your part but you need to step out of existing in a flipping bubble, it's not fair on anyone. " You missed out about the other woman seeing the skid marks on his grimers! That would surely take the shine off the relationship ha ha. | |||
"Op. Your lover is a luxury item and she probably knows it. Men tend to feel very lucky to have this opportunity. Your wife is a sure bet, normal, essential. I'm assuming you haven't actually spent a lot of time dwelling with your lover? Has she smelt your silent farts, listened to your burps, washed your clothes, changed your bed? Will she still want you as much after time or will the novelty wear off. You aren't living with her and she isn't having to deal with annoying little habits that may turn the relationship into exactly what you have with your wife! You've invested time with your lover and may not have set out to fall in love with her, but cheating is a very slippery slope and you now seem to be struggling to handle the situation. Only you can decide what to do for the best and leaving a long-term relationship will take enormous courage on your part but you need to step out of existing in a flipping bubble, it's not fair on anyone. " interesting read, I was seeing her for 9 months, lived with her for 3 weeks before going back to my home, the home is now up for sale as much as I do love both and want to live with both, an inner part of me also wants my freedom, a freedom to get up early morning and ride off on bike, stay over where ever I chose, go home, or not go home, things you cannot do in a relationship, jump on a flight, head of to the usa and go on a 2 or 3 week road trip but I do love both, the right thing to do would be to walk away from both, My wife refuses to leave me, says she loves me and will fight for me The girl I am seeing wants me, knows she done wrong, as did I by seeing her, but says she is in far too deep to walk away now I know I am bad company, I hate getting in this situation but I also care very much for both, want to hold, love, kiss, smell, touch both, possibly more with my lover but then this is still the honeymoon period. | |||
"Op. Your lover is a luxury item and she probably knows it. Men tend to feel very lucky to have this opportunity. Your wife is a sure bet, normal, essential. I'm assuming you haven't actually spent a lot of time dwelling with your lover? Has she smelt your silent farts, listened to your burps, washed your clothes, changed your bed? Will she still want you as much after time or will the novelty wear off. You aren't living with her and she isn't having to deal with annoying little habits that may turn the relationship into exactly what you have with your wife! You've invested time with your lover and may not have set out to fall in love with her, but cheating is a very slippery slope and you now seem to be struggling to handle the situation. Only you can decide what to do for the best and leaving a long-term relationship will take enormous courage on your part but you need to step out of existing in a flipping bubble, it's not fair on anyone. interesting read, I was seeing her for 9 months, lived with her for 3 weeks before going back to my home, the home is now up for sale as much as I do love both and want to live with both, an inner part of me also wants my freedom, a freedom to get up early morning and ride off on bike, stay over where ever I chose, go home, or not go home, things you cannot do in a relationship, jump on a flight, head of to the usa and go on a 2 or 3 week road trip but I do love both, the right thing to do would be to walk away from both, My wife refuses to leave me, says she loves me and will fight for me The girl I am seeing wants me, knows she done wrong, as did I by seeing her, but says she is in far too deep to walk away now I know I am bad company, I hate getting in this situation but I also care very much for both, want to hold, love, kiss, smell, touch both, possibly more with my lover but then this is still the honeymoon period." Yours are not the actions of someone who cares very much. I know that sounds harsh but really! Someone who cares very much would want what was best for the person they cared for, not themselves. | |||
"Op. Your lover is a luxury item and she probably knows it. Men tend to feel very lucky to have this opportunity. Your wife is a sure bet, normal, essential. I'm assuming you haven't actually spent a lot of time dwelling with your lover? Has she smelt your silent farts, listened to your burps, washed your clothes, changed your bed? Will she still want you as much after time or will the novelty wear off. You aren't living with her and she isn't having to deal with annoying little habits that may turn the relationship into exactly what you have with your wife! You've invested time with your lover and may not have set out to fall in love with her, but cheating is a very slippery slope and you now seem to be struggling to handle the situation. Only you can decide what to do for the best and leaving a long-term relationship will take enormous courage on your part but you need to step out of existing in a flipping bubble, it's not fair on anyone. interesting read, I was seeing her for 9 months, lived with her for 3 weeks before going back to my home, the home is now up for sale as much as I do love both and want to live with both, an inner part of me also wants my freedom, a freedom to get up early morning and ride off on bike, stay over where ever I chose, go home, or not go home, things you cannot do in a relationship, jump on a flight, head of to the usa and go on a 2 or 3 week road trip but I do love both, the right thing to do would be to walk away from both, My wife refuses to leave me, says she loves me and will fight for me The girl I am seeing wants me, knows she done wrong, as did I by seeing her, but says she is in far too deep to walk away now I know I am bad company, I hate getting in this situation but I also care very much for both, want to hold, love, kiss, smell, touch both, possibly more with my lover but then this is still the honeymoon period. Yours are not the actions of someone who cares very much. I know that sounds harsh but really! Someone who cares very much would want what was best for the person they cared for, not themselves." Agreed as one of the 2 girlfriends in my relationship its the actions of a very selfish guy going off on roadtrips? No thought or care for your partners feelings? Actions of a man who prefers to be single with a bit of fun on the side! Do the right thing and break it off with both of them because your only doing more harm to them. Its not love just lust and not knowing the difference is a very dangerous thing. The choice is yours but you be digging a very deep hole you never get out of and bring two women down with you who clearly derserve a better more caring guy like i and my girlfriend enjoy with our man. | |||
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"I'm still trying to work out what the fuck dress size has to do with anything. P" Same | |||
"My wife refuses to leave me, says she loves me and will fight for me The girl I am seeing wants me, knows she done wrong, as did I by seeing her, but says she is in far too deep to walk away now I know I am bad company, I hate getting in this situation but I also care very much for both, want to hold, love, kiss, smell, touch both, possibly more with my lover but then this is still the honeymoon period." I think you’re underestimating wronged women. Your wife is probably plotting something, and your other lady won’t wait for ever for you to leave your wife. She’ll start issuing ultimatums or something. This cosy bubble of all these women thinking your shit hot won’t last for long, and you’ll lose both. Women wise up, eventually. | |||
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"Which one makes the best brew?" Or gives the best blow job?
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"Which one makes the best brew? Or gives the best blow job?
"Tea before nosh. Priorities | |||
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"Think this is the wrong site for this sort of advice. Plus if you have two loves of your life why on earth are you still on here. " agree with this | |||
"Personally don't see how you love both women when clearly you have/are going to hurt both plus behind both their backs (whilst claiming to love both) you joined here 10 months ago? Think really you have lied to yourself (& are being totally selfish) plus two ladies you claim to love!! Very confused here ... " | |||
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"Think this is the wrong site for this sort of advice. Plus if you have two loves of your life why on earth are you still on here. agree with this "Agree with this also??? Why on here if already got the choice of two? But I’m going to say... Think out side the box if there was a car hurtling towards both of them and you could save only one which would it be? Harsh but makes you think are you being led by your cock or your heart? | |||
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"Why would a guy who is totally in love with two women be on a swingers site looking for fun" Do the two women know he is on here is what I would like to know | |||
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"I thought this was a sincere post at first - but beginning to think it belongs in the “Stories and Fantasies” section." LOL. | |||
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"I'm a bit puzzled about the dress size thing too... I'm even more puzzled by some of the reactions on here. I am not condoning the OP's actions in any way, but.... Just how many women on here taking the "moral high ground" are just as content to have multiple partners, some even claiming to "love" more than one such..... And yet without any adverse comment ever being made about their life choices.... Btw OP, You are a grown man. Your actions have consequences. This is not the place to solve those consequences, or to expect anyone to provide a solution to your "dilemma". A divided house cannot ever stand for long, and running away from your problems doesnt work. They go where you go.... I hope the choices you make cause the minimum hurt to you and those you claim to love. " I'm not your comparison stands up to scrutiny. It's the circumstances under which people have or even love multiple partners that's relevant. | |||
"I'm a bit puzzled about the dress size thing too... I'm even more puzzled by some of the reactions on here. I am not condoning the OP's actions in any way, but.... Just how many women on here taking the "moral high ground" are just as content to have multiple partners, some even claiming to "love" more than one such..... And yet without any adverse comment ever being made about their life choices.... Btw OP, You are a grown man. Your actions have consequences. This is not the place to solve those consequences, or to expect anyone to provide a solution to your "dilemma". A divided house cannot ever stand for long, and running away from your problems doesnt work. They go where you go.... I hope the choices you make cause the minimum hurt to you and those you claim to love. I'm not your comparison stands up to scrutiny. It's the circumstances under which people have or even love multiple partners that's relevant." Really? So change the gender if the poster from Male to female, and take a guess just how differently this thread may have been.... | |||
"I'm a bit puzzled about the dress size thing too... I'm even more puzzled by some of the reactions on here. I am not condoning the OP's actions in any way, but.... Just how many women on here taking the "moral high ground" are just as content to have multiple partners, some even claiming to "love" more than one such..... And yet without any adverse comment ever being made about their life choices.... Btw OP, You are a grown man. Your actions have consequences. This is not the place to solve those consequences, or to expect anyone to provide a solution to your "dilemma". A divided house cannot ever stand for long, and running away from your problems doesnt work. They go where you go.... I hope the choices you make cause the minimum hurt to you and those you claim to love. I'm not your comparison stands up to scrutiny. It's the circumstances under which people have or even love multiple partners that's relevant. Really? So change the gender if the poster from Male to female, and take a guess just how differently this thread may have been...." Oh, yes I'm with you there but I can tell you honestly that my responses would be the same. | |||
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"Leave them both. Have a word with yourself. Sort your life out and when you know what it is in life you want, then enter into a relationship where you’re not messing someone around and breaking someone’s faith in men." This is spot on advice | |||
"Why don't they play cards for you I sneeringly replied. And just to make it interesting have a shilling on the side" ohhh ernie!!!!!!! lol | |||
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