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Punching above your weight
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Am i the only one that sometimes says 'no thanks' cuz someone is too hot and their verifications are from younger, slimmer and prettier or is this just me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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On a serious note, Ash told me that he very nearly didn't message me because he thought I wouldn't be interested. I'm so glad he did, we have now been together 9 months and going on our first holiday together tomorrow. We are very happy and planning our future together. So if you assume "you are not in their league" you really could be missing out big time.
I have copied this from another thread similar to this one. I have posted it again here as I think it applies in this case too.
X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yep,I actually said to one bloke have you read and seen my pictures,then I sent him a face pic and thought I was fit.I said are you taking piss lol.I checked his veries out and one women looked like the perfect porn star  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Surely if they message you .... they are interested ?
Oh the mind has ways to get around that. "
oh yes it does but many people see different traits sexy not just looks |
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"Surely if they message you .... they are interested ?
Oh the mind has ways to get around that.
oh yes it does but many people see different traits sexy not just looks"
But that's not the way self doubt works. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No one ever knows a person's "type" I don't have a type but I have to say if I'm attracted by a person's face,peoples skills and craic = horned up. One thing about people interested in this kinda craic is we are open minded or should be enough to try stuff outside of our comfort zones or am I wrong? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Surely if they message you .... they are interested ?
Oh the mind has ways to get around that.
oh yes it does but many people see different traits sexy not just looks
But that's not the way self doubt works. "
again I agree .... to be fair it's rare I message first ! i guess we all have that self doubt |
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No its very common. I personally don't understand it and find it a bit insulting to the people you consider to be in your league.
I think we all have self doubt to an extent but don't always express it by placing other people in leagues of attractiveness |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Am i the only one that sometimes says 'no thanks' cuz someone is too hot and their verifications are from younger, slimmer and prettier or is this just me"
I did at the very beginning when I first joined, but I’ve learnt to kind of let go of the whole ‘leagues’ thing and just go with it. Had a lot of fun as result x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No its very common. I personally don't understand it and find it a bit insulting to the people you consider to be in your league.
I think we all have self doubt to an extent but don't always express it by placing other people in leagues of attractiveness "
Yeah it amuses me that they don't see it that way but I'd be highly offended if I guy I met saw people in leagues and wouldn't communicate with those outside his league. Thanks a bunch pal. Fuck off!!! |
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"On a serious note, Ash told me that he very nearly didn't message me because he thought I wouldn't be interested. I'm so glad he did, we have now been together 9 months and going on our first holiday together tomorrow. We are very happy and planning our future together. So if you assume "you are not in their league" you really could be missing out big time.
I have copied this from another thread similar to this one. I have posted it again here as I think it applies in this case too.
X"
I've said this on another thread to but I love a happy ending x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nope absolutely not. I would say technically the guy I spent last night with is out of my league but seeing the desire in his eyes I knew to him I was exactly what he wanted |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I didn't use the phrase 'out of my league' and certainly wasn't judging anyone but myself but thanks for turning a thread about confidence into something nasty |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to be like that but now I don't worry about it, if they have messaged me then they must be interested or they wouldn't have took the time to do it.
I'm a cheeky cow too and I message guys who at one time I would have thought were punching above my weight and I have been very pleasantly surprised by the response  |
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"I didn't use the phrase 'out of my league' and certainly wasn't judging anyone but myself but thanks for turning a thread about confidence into something nasty"
no you didn't I stand corrected but the sentiment is the same. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I didn't use the phrase 'out of my league' and certainly wasn't judging anyone but myself but thanks for turning a thread about confidence into something nasty"
Judging someone as out of your league is the same thing as punching above your weight.
Yes it's completely a confidence thing.
Nothing nasty. Just how it is. |
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By *latinumkittenWoman
over a year ago
from Home Counties to Middle Earth |
When I first signed up, I felt quite intimidated by what I considered, top shelf eye candy, and turned them all down flat (and certainly one I wish I could recall).
I'm now more relaxed and confident about chatting to and meeting guys I feel an infinity with.
Just go for it! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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If someone's profile doesn't say what type of person they find attractive then you judge from their verifications. If it's totally different to yourself then you wonder if they've not read yours thinking you're something you're not. Glad to see a couple of guys understand this too not just us women |
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I very rarely respond to messages received because I prefer to initiate contact with people that I like the look of.
That said, I will reply to the odd ones that do catch my eye - they must have seen something they like to message me in the first place |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Am i the only one that sometimes says 'no thanks' cuz someone is too hot and their verifications are from younger, slimmer and prettier or is this just me"
im guilty of this too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yea I send a photo then they bottle it, I dont look my age, it's the same for both sexes I think, they say i am not their type and block me yet i can go out the weekend and get girls 10 yes younger asking me on dates so i know i am not ugly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah haha but one time I had to give in the guy was just too good to turn down like the hottest guy I’d ever seen. Had sex and never heard a squeak out of him since which I totally expected because he was a friggin god but I really didn’t care because I’d had my few hours with him and my god were they good haha!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sadly that’s what I do, I don’t even bother to email some lovely ladies 1 because they will be swamped with messages from well hung men and 2 way out of my league  |
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"Sadly that’s what I do, I don’t even bother to email some lovely ladies 1 because they will be swamped with messages from well hung men and 2 way out of my league "
right this is in no way meant aggressively but how do you know you're out of these women's league? Do they say on their profile that they only want well hung men? |
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
"Sadly that’s what I do, I don’t even bother to email some lovely ladies 1 because they will be swamped with messages from well hung men and 2 way out of my league "
So does that mean the ones you do message aren't that lovely? This is what I don't get, are you messaging people you find a bit less attractive? You're doing yourself and them a disservice if that's the case. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think clubs can be like this too, I've had ladies asking their other half of I can join them and the guy saying no, so is this they feeling inadequate because I am clearly a sex god lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sadly that’s what I do, I don’t even bother to email some lovely ladies 1 because they will be swamped with messages from well hung men and 2 way out of my league
So does that mean the ones you do message aren't that lovely? This is what I don't get, are you messaging people you find a bit less attractive? You're doing yourself and them a disservice if that's the case. "
Yep exactly this. Why I avoid anyone who thinks in terms of leagues or compares themselves. |
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I have thought many a time, seriously why me, but if they’ve messaged me then there must be something, right !
You’ve got nothing to lose by saying yes, be bold and do it
Someone further up said something about my pics are flattering but in person I might not be.... the camera doesn’t lie and yes angles and lighting can have an effect, but it’s still you in those photos. I have squidginess and a baby shelf that isn’t going anywhere, it’s part of me and not once have I been made to feel uncomfortable about it
Embrace who you are, be confident in yourself and own it ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Am i the only one that sometimes says 'no thanks' cuz someone is too hot and their verifications are from younger, slimmer and prettier or is this just me"
I do this too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People are people don't matter how pretty they are. The majority of people are above me when it comes to looks in my personal opinion but they seem to like me. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder... Think it all comes down to self confidence |
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By *wingfellowMan
over a year ago
my own little sanctuary |
"I have thought many a time, seriously why me, but if they’ve messaged me then there must be something, right !
You’ve got nothing to lose by saying yes, be bold and do it
Someone further up said something about my pics are flattering but in person I might not be.... the camera doesn’t lie and yes angles and lighting can have an effect, but it’s still you in those photos. I have squidginess and a baby shelf that isn’t going anywhere, it’s part of me and not once have I been made to feel uncomfortable about it
Embrace who you are, be confident in yourself and own it ! "
I agree, doesn’t really matter how you look in fairness. If you bore me you bore me, if you captivate me you captivate me and that’s where the attraction begins (in my mind at least) just wing it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Iv learned from being on here not to be scared to message anyone as iv had the pleasure of being able to spend time and play with some stunning women that a guy of my looks and figure should have no right to be playing with lol, so in my opinion most of the time im punching above my weight but so be it there is obviously something i do or say that sparks an interest, so just go for it |
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We are their dream, so it's almost cruel to deny them our involvement. Whatever the inner whispers may try to say, it's another step closer to world peace and harmony
I was once on a Greek island, early evening, outside a bar in the throngs of attractive party goers. A gorgeous man came up to me and said he needed to tell me that I was the most beautiful person there. He was full-on model grade handsome that would turn heads anywhere. For a split second I was stunned and overwhelmed by his comment. I realised that he meant it. Never assume that you are not beautiful or perfect for others. He was equally highly attractive on the inside, which I know you lot are too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Am i the only one that sometimes says 'no thanks' cuz someone is too hot and their verifications are from younger, slimmer and prettier or is this just me"
Every day!! Massive block to me meeting on here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s a phrase we use a hell of a lot. We are both by our own admission middle aged and not as fit as we used to be. We have turned down quite a few meets as we think “look at them! Why the hell would they want to meet us ??!” |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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As i said originally but will spell out again. This is not a dis to anyone of spoken to or met since they have taken the time in their msg to say something personal or on their profile that's relevant to me or shown by their veri displayed that they like all sorts of ages and body types. I'm happy with would i am thanks and don't belittle anyone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to self doubt myself a lot. My OH is gym fit and he's on fab as well, everytime I saw photos he fabbed I felt like he surely can't like my body. Now we've been together for almost 2 years and he still worships my ass so I let go of fear of losing him cause I'm fat.
I still have this problem whenever fit women message me though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There is one local lady that I would love to start a conversation with and see if it goes anywhere. She is super hot though and the fact that in general I'm lucky to get a reply from any local, I cant see me ever sending that first message as I dont feel I have a shot. |
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"Am i the only one that sometimes says 'no thanks' cuz someone is too hot and their verifications are from younger, slimmer and prettier or is this just me"
Hmmm annoyingly, one of the first lines on the messages I receive , often beginning, hi , I'm sure I'm not your type.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I really don’t understand the concept of people batting outside their league, personally I believe we are all equal just come in different shapes, sizes and don’t forget personalities! The issue with Fab and I suppose many sites is people just look at photos and assume the personality is as attractive as the picture which may often not be the case.
I once dated a lady who was a model and featured in some newspaper supplements, her figure was stunning, her personality much less so.
It’s a big world, explore, have fun, don’t judge and treat others as you wish to be treated yourself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m like this (female)
Even though I am fairly confident about my body I still get this fear that when we arrive and get nakey, they won’t be attracted to us anymore!
Such a stupid fear I know. The main reason we haven’t met many people. Damn confident issues  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m like this (female)
Even though I am fairly confident about my body I still get this fear that when we arrive and get nakey, they won’t be attracted to us anymore!
Such a stupid fear I know. The main reason we haven’t met many people. Damn confident issues "
Confidence * |
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"I’m like this (female)
Even though I am fairly confident about my body I still get this fear that when we arrive and get nakey, they won’t be attracted to us anymore!
Such a stupid fear I know. The main reason we haven’t met many people. Damn confident issues "
It takes a while for everyone  |
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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago
Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro |
I'm attracted to confident/dominant men so I dont think they would have this problem most of the time. If I really liked the look of someone then yes I'd message them but that doesn't happen very often. What's the worse that can happen they say no thanks. I don't take much on here that seriously or to heart. I'm ok in my own skin with or without clothes. Amen x
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I don't see the issue tba. You are interested or you are not, they are interested or they are not if you are both interested yo go to stage 2 if not you don't its not a big issue people get rejected all the time here so learn to live with it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No not at all ,I guess that I'm just happy being me,saying that I very rarely send a first message that's just not me and has nothing to do with rejection |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There is one local lady that I would love to start a conversation with and see if it goes anywhere. She is super hot though and the fact that in general I'm lucky to get a reply from any local, I cant see me ever sending that first message as I dont feel I have a shot. "
You do realise that this is incredibly silly of you? Too many ‘What ifs’ me thinks. Write to her man. Sit down and write! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always have in the back of my mind, what if my pictures are flattering and the experience in person is humiliating. It's never happened to date. It probably never will. But the fear is real. "
This is my fear that I’m full of trickery! - Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I didn't think B would look three times at me, I was confident enough for twice tho I can't lie 
But yeah, the way he came across on the forums, how self assured he is, his looks and height... I thought I may be good enough for a bit of a flirt at best.
We've been together as a couple almost a year now.
I still do have wobbles though and wonder what on earth apart from a giggle I have to offer.
P |
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"Am i the only one that sometimes says 'no thanks' cuz someone is too hot and their verifications are from younger, slimmer and prettier or is this just me"
Only felt like saying no once and that was meeting Ben...first time I was nervous. Ben looks like a cross between Bruce Willis and Jason Statham. I'm more Monique than Halle Berry.
We do make an odd couple, but November will be six years since we met and we've lived together for five.
We are our own worse enemies.  |
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"Am i the only one that sometimes says 'no thanks' cuz someone is too hot and their verifications are from younger, slimmer and prettier or is this just me"
Yep!
I always read a person's veris & what they've left in return.
Had a few occasions where, I'm left thinking 'I can't match up to that'
Albeit 1, I've never replied or I've polity been dismissive.
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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago
Filthy Fuckeryville |
"Am i the only one that sometimes says 'no thanks' cuz someone is too hot and their verifications are from younger, slimmer and prettier or is this just me
No because I prefer curvy "
Lucky for me |
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would generally never send a first message because of it 
