FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Labels do not devalue us, they help define us
Labels do not devalue us, they help define us
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I think some labels are necessary so that's theres something to go on. but I don't like derogatory labels..I'm a mature woman and I have no problem with that label.
A label I would find offensive is that of
queer when used to describe a gay person |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think some labels are necessary so that's theres something to go on. but I don't like derogatory labels..I'm a mature woman and I have no problem with that label.
A label I would find offensive is that of
queer when used to describe a gay person"
Yes but there are people who use the queer label to define themselves.
So are they offensive or is our society making it offensive?
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"I think some labels are necessary so that's theres something to go on. but I don't like derogatory labels..I'm a mature woman and I have no problem with that label.
A label I would find offensive is that of
queer when used to describe a gay person
Yes but there are people who use the queer label to define themselves.
So are they offensive or is our society making it offensive?
"
people can describe themselves anyway they like..for me it's if someone else is using it in a negative way that I don't like |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think a bit of both, labels help us identify with others, a common factor or whatever.
They also do the opposite, we sometimes put people in boxes and then fail to see the other parts of them. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think some labels are necessary so that's theres something to go on. but I don't like derogatory labels..I'm a mature woman and I have no problem with that label.
A label I would find offensive is that of
queer when used to describe a gay person
Yes but there are people who use the queer label to define themselves.
So are they offensive or is our society making it offensive?
people can describe themselves anyway they like..for me it's if someone else is using it in a negative way that I don't like"
So it's not the label but how it's used?
What would you define as negative use?
For example, if one male friend opens the door for another and says "ladies first" and they both laugh about it.
Would you define that we negative? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think a bit of both, labels help us identify with others, a common factor or whatever.
They also do the opposite, we sometimes put people in boxes and then fail to see the other parts of them. "
That is also how I see it, you vs. them mentality.
The thread title is a quote from love has no labels video, and it does say regardless of the label still love one another. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Everything in life is labelled, I'm happy and have absolutely no problems with them at all!! But like anything that is used rudely or in a derogatory manner then it is unecessary in my life! |
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"I think some labels are necessary so that's theres something to go on. but I don't like derogatory labels..I'm a mature woman and I have no problem with that label.
A label I would find offensive is that of
queer when used to describe a gay person
Yes but there are people who use the queer label to define themselves.
So are they offensive or is our society making it offensive?
people can describe themselves anyway they like..for me it's if someone else is using it in a negative way that I don't like
So it's not the label but how it's used?
What would you define as negative use?
For example, if one male friend opens the door for another and says "ladies first" and they both laugh about it.
Would you define that we negative?"
a joke between friends is just that a joke. But yes, my distaste of labels is down to how they have previously been used.
Nigger, another one..ok when said to each other my nigger for example but in general use it is very often meant with bad intent. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think some labels are necessary so that's theres something to go on. but I don't like derogatory labels..I'm a mature woman and I have no problem with that label.
A label I would find offensive is that of
queer when used to describe a gay person
Yes but there are people who use the queer label to define themselves.
So are they offensive or is our society making it offensive?
people can describe themselves anyway they like..for me it's if someone else is using it in a negative way that I don't like
So it's not the label but how it's used?
What would you define as negative use?
For example, if one male friend opens the door for another and says "ladies first" and they both laugh about it.
Would you define that we negative?
a joke between friends is just that a joke. But yes, my distaste of labels is down to how they have previously been used.
Nigger, another one..ok when said to each other my nigger for example but in general use it is very often meant with bad intent."
Would you say there is a label that cannot be used a joke between friends (assuming there was no malicious intent behind it)?
If so which one, and why? |
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Labels can help you connect to the right people for certain aspects of your life, ie sexual preference
However, outside of this they can also stop you getting to know a certain type of person
We aren’t labels we are human beings and everyone deserves to be treated equally |
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"I think some labels are necessary so that's theres something to go on. but I don't like derogatory labels..I'm a mature woman and I have no problem with that label.
A label I would find offensive is that of
queer when used to describe a gay person
Yes but there are people who use the queer label to define themselves.
So are they offensive or is our society making it offensive?
people can describe themselves anyway they like..for me it's if someone else is using it in a negative way that I don't like
So it's not the label but how it's used?
What would you define as negative use?
For example, if one male friend opens the door for another and says "ladies first" and they both laugh about it.
Would you define that we negative?
a joke between friends is just that a joke. But yes, my distaste of labels is down to how they have previously been used.
Nigger, another one..ok when said to each other my nigger for example but in general use it is very often meant with bad intent.
Would you say there is a label that cannot be used a joke between friends (assuming there was no malicious intent behind it)?
If so which one, and why?"
I'm sure there would be yes, depending on the friend their sense of humour and life experiences |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Labels can help you connect to the right people for certain aspects of your life, ie sexual preference
However, outside of this they can also stop you getting to know a certain type of person
We aren’t labels we are human beings and everyone deserves to be treated equally"
Being treated equally is often unfair as we are not born equal. But yes, depending on how you've been raised labels can stop you from meeting other people, which is a shame. |
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"Labels can help you connect to the right people for certain aspects of your life, ie sexual preference
However, outside of this they can also stop you getting to know a certain type of person
We aren’t labels we are human beings and everyone deserves to be treated equally
Being treated equally is often unfair as we are not born equal. But yes, depending on how you've been raised labels can stop you from meeting other people, which is a shame."
As they say, if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree.. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think labels can be a good starting point. I'm a woman. What does it mean to be a woman? Sort of thing. You can find commonality and difference that way. "
True, everyone will have a different definition of a woman, ranging from different culture and subcultures. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Labels can help you connect to the right people for certain aspects of your life, ie sexual preference
However, outside of this they can also stop you getting to know a certain type of person
We aren’t labels we are human beings and everyone deserves to be treated equally
Being treated equally is often unfair as we are not born equal. But yes, depending on how you've been raised labels can stop you from meeting other people, which is a shame.
As they say, if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree.."
Exactly.
If you give a blind person and a person with 20/20 vision a pen and paper and ask them to write a horror story, it's not exactly fair, even though they've been treated equally. |
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By *omaMan
over a year ago
Glasgow |
Labels?
I'm sure there are more important things in life to worry or get upset about.
Or are these "labels" ,as are now commonly condemned, just another example of today's "I Am A Victim" society?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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They can be used in more expansive ways though ... ie I'm a woman = lable
Or I'm a tall slimish brunette woman = expansive labelling
Shouldn't sexually just be a more expansive form of labelling? In a society where people are actually talking (face to face) less and less then, unfortunately, labels will seem to be used more |
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"Labels can help you connect to the right people for certain aspects of your life, ie sexual preference
However, outside of this they can also stop you getting to know a certain type of person
We aren’t labels we are human beings and everyone deserves to be treated equally
Being treated equally is often unfair as we are not born equal. But yes, depending on how you've been raised labels can stop you from meeting other people, which is a shame.
As they say, if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree.."
I've only just understood that analogy  |
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"Labels can help you connect to the right people for certain aspects of your life, ie sexual preference
However, outside of this they can also stop you getting to know a certain type of person
We aren’t labels we are human beings and everyone deserves to be treated equally
Being treated equally is often unfair as we are not born equal. But yes, depending on how you've been raised labels can stop you from meeting other people, which is a shame."
How do you mean not born equal, you mean the financially; location in the country ?
Yes a lot does depend on your upbringing, but at the end of the day you are your own person and able to make your own decisions and choices.
I personally clash with parents and others on their views on some parts of society. The way I see it, I don’t tar one type of person with the same brush just because you have been told to or a member of that group may have hurt you. Not everyone is the same and everyone deserves that respect until they do something to lose it. |
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"Labels can help you connect to the right people for certain aspects of your life, ie sexual preference
However, outside of this they can also stop you getting to know a certain type of person
We aren’t labels we are human beings and everyone deserves to be treated equally
Being treated equally is often unfair as we are not born equal. But yes, depending on how you've been raised labels can stop you from meeting other people, which is a shame.
As they say, if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree.."
certain species of fish are known to climb trees, some better than others. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"what are your thoughts on the subject OP?"
I seem to be stuck somewhere in the middle ground. I don't like a lot of the labels but I also think a lot of the labels are important and necessary.
Which I find important and which not seems to be changing over the years.
I don't deny using labels negatively, but it's something I am trying to work on, unfortunately it's become a habit that is hard to get rid of.
One label I am drawing myself away from is my nationality because I have conflicted views about it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Labels can help you connect to the right people for certain aspects of your life, ie sexual preference
However, outside of this they can also stop you getting to know a certain type of person
We aren’t labels we are human beings and everyone deserves to be treated equally
Being treated equally is often unfair as we are not born equal. But yes, depending on how you've been raised labels can stop you from meeting other people, which is a shame.
How do you mean not born equal, you mean the financially; location in the country ?
Yes a lot does depend on your upbringing, but at the end of the day you are your own person and able to make your own decisions and choices.
I personally clash with parents and others on their views on some parts of society. The way I see it, I don’t tar one type of person with the same brush just because you have been told to or a member of that group may have hurt you. Not everyone is the same and everyone deserves that respect until they do something to lose it. "
Do you not think respect is earned rather than given? Curious |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Labels are of no interest to me. People use them to make their own judgement and that's fine.
My character, my behaviour, my beliefs,my life experiences are the things that define me.
Never labels or stereotypes |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"Not everyone is the same and everyone deserves that respect until they do something to lose it.
Do you not think respect is earned rather than given? Curious "
Does that mean you don’t show any modicum of respect until someone has proven themselves to you? |
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"Not everyone is the same and everyone deserves that respect until they do something to lose it.
Do you not think respect is earned rather than given? Curious "
For me everyone deserves respect as a given, it’s a basic human trait and for me basic manners.
As said above you lose my respect when you do something wrong |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not everyone is the same and everyone deserves that respect until they do something to lose it.
Do you not think respect is earned rather than given? Curious
Does that mean you don’t show any modicum of respect until someone has proven themselves to you? "
Oh not at all! I respect everyone as a human being, the same with manners much as blood of life as the basics but yes my respect (other than the basic) is earned, much as in the same way as I trust everyone to a point but my trust above the basic is earned too!
I wouldn't want anything above the basics from anyone either not until I had earned their respect and trust |
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By *ucky24Man
over a year ago
Glasgow |
"I think courtesy should be a given, respect is earned and lost. "
That is so true, that is part of the problem in today's society, lack of respect for another people. The rank sense of entitlement of some people that they and their needs are more important than others.
You only need to see that in the lack of debate of all things especially political where it shout the loudest and longest to get your point across and concede nothing. |
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"Would you agree or disagree with the above?"
Labels are so broad, female, parent, human, leftie, sister, forgetful, late, brother, revolutionary, fighter, worker, bi, gay, cis, old , young...
Some we choose some we don't some we are born with others acquired or forced upon you. It's the stuff around labels that should be examined. Why was it given, by whom and under what conditions? Is it a description or an epiphet? Is it transient or permanent.
That's the focus point. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hmmm, I think some are ok. Actual descriptive ones that are real. I'm short. That's a fair label. However in among a crowd of primordial dwarves it would seem incorrect so even then it's subjective.
A lot depends on peoples perception and understanding of said labels, therefore most of the time lack of understanding or scewed perception is what taints them.
P
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hmmm, I think some are ok. Actual descriptive ones that are real. I'm short. That's a fair label. However in among a crowd of primordial dwarves it would seem incorrect so even then it's subjective.
A lot depends on peoples perception and understanding of said labels, therefore most of the time lack of understanding or scewed perception is what taints them.
P
"
Someone called my name? (Primordial Dwarf) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Only the ones we put on ourselves.
The ones other people put on is tend to be incorrect."
Quite often self-imposed labels are sometimes the most harmful though  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Only the ones we put on ourselves.
The ones other people put on is tend to be incorrect."
I like this.
So why do we care what other people label us as, if they don't really know us. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would you agree or disagree with the above?"
I agree they help define us. However it always depends on the other person's perspective as to whether that's a positive or negative definition.
- Their label would devalue us (in their opinion) if they had a negative perspective of that label.
An example. A woman calls herself a slut. She uses the term with empowerment and pride.
A man calls her a slut but he means it in a derogatory way.
She can accept his opinion and feel shit, or retain her own opinion and feel even more empowered by his apparent disgust. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Only the ones we put on ourselves.
The ones other people put on is tend to be incorrect.
Quite often self-imposed labels are sometimes the most harmful though "
And can lead to depression and anxiety.
There seems to be positive and negative side to everything label oriented.
From this thread it seems that labels are
Necessary but sometimes unwanted
Sometimes forced upon/born with
Wrong and Right
Conflicting
Negative and positive
Dividing and Uniting
Exclusionary and Inclusive
Culture rich
Fought for/against
But in majority of the cases it boils down to intention. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Only the ones we put on ourselves.
The ones other people put on is tend to be incorrect.
I like this.
So why do we care what other people label us as, if they don't really know us. "
I think it's because some labels are inclusive and culture based so we see being labeled by others as a sign of acceptance. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It depends whether it’s derogatory or not. Those labels are completely unnecessary and don’t define anyone. "
Labels are not usually derogatory, the intent is. |
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The problem with labeling is that people label you in a singular manner & then fill in the rest with what they perceive a person of that label to be.
The truth is that people are complex & would need many labels. Although they might have things in common with others, No two people are the same. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Only the ones we put on ourselves.
The ones other people put on is tend to be incorrect.
Quite often self-imposed labels are sometimes the most harmful though
And can lead to depression and anxiety.
There seems to be positive and negative side to everything label oriented.
From this thread it seems that labels are
Necessary but sometimes unwanted
Sometimes forced upon/born with
Wrong and Right
Conflicting
Negative and positive
Dividing and Uniting
Exclusionary and Inclusive
Culture rich
Fought for/against
But in majority of the cases it boils down to intention."
This ^^^ spot on! |
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It depends and it appears like a false dilemma - there are more options.
Labels can potentially restrict us - as language in general can. Trying to explain something that's exquisitely profound and nuanced, within the capabilities of the words that we have - then having recipients with a fully matched interpretation, is a tough call.
Simple labels can become like identifies too. Who I am changes, yet a fixed identity may resist that potential or we may be conflicted, with opposing identities, perhaps seemingly hypocritical. |
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"Only the ones we put on ourselves.
The ones other people put on is tend to be incorrect.
I like this.
So why do we care what other people label us as, if they don't really know us. "
You shouldn’t care |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Only the ones we put on ourselves.
The ones other people put on is tend to be incorrect.
I like this.
So why do we care what other people label us as, if they don't really know us.
You shouldn’t care "
It's funny though how people pick and choose what labels to have given to them and which we shouldn't care about! You're kind, you're knoknowledgable, you're beautiful etc we all except with glee (unless you have low self esteem or like fishing for more compliments) but the you're moody, you're ugly , all the insulting ones we take more seriously or can choose not to care as they're from strangers! Same as we take the same label given by a member of our family totally differently to the same label from a stranger! When is a label a label different to an insult or compliment? Are labels just literal descriptions or are they subjective, depending on who says them and who it's aimed at? |
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"Only the ones we put on ourselves.
The ones other people put on is tend to be incorrect.
I like this.
So why do we care what other people label us as, if they don't really know us.
You shouldn’t care
It's funny though how people pick and choose what labels to have given to them and which we shouldn't care about! You're kind, you're knoknowledgable, you're beautiful etc we all except with glee (unless you have low self esteem or like fishing for more compliments) but the you're moody, you're ugly , all the insulting ones we take more seriously or can choose not to care as they're from strangers! Same as we take the same label given by a member of our family totally differently to the same label from a stranger! When is a label a label different to an insult or compliment? Are labels just literal descriptions or are they subjective, depending on who says them and who it's aimed at? "
For me labels given by individuals from here mean nothing, as it is just their perception of what they see from me on the forums and the words I speak, they can derogatory but not my problem they don’t know me and entitled to their opinions.
If a friend or family member gave me a label I would question why if it was out of my character, it could be something I’ve done without realising or them picking up on something isn’t right with me.
Labels for me are just descriptors of who they think you are and nothing more |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Only the ones we put on ourselves.
The ones other people put on is tend to be incorrect.
I like this.
So why do we care what other people label us as, if they don't really know us.
You shouldn’t care
It's funny though how people pick and choose what labels to have given to them and which we shouldn't care about! You're kind, you're knoknowledgable, you're beautiful etc we all except with glee (unless you have low self esteem or like fishing for more compliments) but the you're moody, you're ugly , all the insulting ones we take more seriously or can choose not to care as they're from strangers! Same as we take the same label given by a member of our family totally differently to the same label from a stranger! When is a label a label different to an insult or compliment? Are labels just literal descriptions or are they subjective, depending on who says them and who it's aimed at? "
I think it depends on who says it, their intent, and also our state of mind.
A nasty comment won't bother me one day. A friendly comment will break me another day.
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as a rule.....I don't really define my self as anything nor do I define others in a sense, I just like to meet and take people on face value and how I find them!! 
