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Is being gay easier to accept than being bi?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Being gay has become much more accepted in the last 20 years.
Being bisexual still seems to be less accepted. I can think of many 'supposedly bi' women in the public eye, but very few bi men.
Do you think being gay is more acceptable than being bi?
Is being bisexual unbelievable? Is there still that old belief that people say they are bi because they don't want to admit they are gay? Or that bi people are 'dirty' because they will fuck all people, not just the opposite sex? |
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If you come out as bi when you're a woman you're considered just attention seeking or doing it to look hot for men.
If you come out as bi as a man you're just really gay and pretending to still be into women. Never understood the logic behind that one.
I think the worst thing about being bi sometimes is getting shit from both straight and gay people. Though in hetro relationships we at least have passing priveldge, though it also doesn't feel nice to constantly have your sexuality wrongly assumed. Though in comparison to constant fear of assault that is the lesser of two evils. |
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"Biphobia is definitely a thing. "
I suppose as it's never affected me so I never gave it any thought...live and let live is my mantra. We all have all our own likes but people being judgemental makes me sad. |
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By *ucidityWoman
over a year ago
Nottingham |
I don’t think being gay is more acceptable than being bi, but I do think it’s easier for people to understand.
As humans, we generally crave a simple narrative and don’t seem to create much of a space for the nuance and grey areas. So many people seem to see the world as gay or straight, man or woman etc.
I think all the cliches around bisexuality still exist and are pervasive and it’s never the most comfortable of situations to have someone sit their and deny that a part of who you are actually exists.
Still, I agree unreservedly that there is inherent privilege to being bisexual. Living in a heteronormative society, it is assumed I’m straight and I take little care to correct people. I am never forced out, I can come out if and when I choose. |
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"I don’t think being gay is more acceptable than being bi, but I do think it’s easier for people to understand.
As humans, we generally crave a simple narrative and don’t seem to create much of a space for the nuance and grey areas. So many people seem to see the world as gay or straight, man or woman etc.
I think all the cliches around bisexuality still exist and are pervasive and it’s never the most comfortable of situations to have someone sit their and deny that a part of who you are actually exists.
Still, I agree unreservedly that there is inherent privilege to being bisexual. Living in a heteronormative society, it is assumed I’m straight and I take little care to correct people. I am never forced out, I can come out if and when I choose."
Yes. I definitely hide behind my presumed straightness sometimes, when I don't want to deal with it. But it sucks in its own way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The UK’s first ever Bi Pride is on the 7th September 2019 at the Round Chapel in Hackney  "
and all the gays will go to it and then everyone will all still be called gay |
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An interesting conversation. I am not yet out as a bi man. I love men and women enjoy sex with both often at the same time. I do get crap from people who have discovered I like both M&F this has come from both men and women. I also dress as am a TV and this tends to also get me a fair degree of abuse from sections of the gay community which is sad considering the bias and abuse they too have received and still receive in certain circles.
Vive la difference! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you come out as bi when you're a woman you're considered just attention seeking or doing it to look hot for men.
If you come out as bi as a man you're just really gay and pretending to still be into women. Never understood the logic behind that one.
I think the worst thing about being bi sometimes is getting shit from both straight and gay people. Though in hetro relationships we at least have passing priveldge, though it also doesn't feel nice to constantly have your sexuality wrongly assumed. Though in comparison to constant fear of assault that is the lesser of two evils."
I agree about the shit from both sides. "Pick what you are- gay or straight!" 
And if a bi woman is with a man she must be straight now. If she's with a woman she's 'gone all lesbian'. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The UK’s first ever Bi Pride is on the 7th September 2019 at the Round Chapel in Hackney "
Lickety mentioned it. 
I hope it takes off and they do more. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I only know one openly bi man and I live in the liberal, cosmopolitan shire."
Does he tell people he's bi or has he just had relationships with both? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"An interesting conversation. I am not yet out as a bi man. I love men and women enjoy sex with both often at the same time. I do get crap from people who have discovered I like both M&F this has come from both men and women. I also dress as am a TV and this tends to also get me a fair degree of abuse from sections of the gay community which is sad considering the bias and abuse they too have received and still receive in certain circles.
Vive la difference! "
I've found the gay community can have prejudices within it too. So camp men hate the bears. Macho gay men hate the tv's etc etc. (Examples only) |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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Before I realised I was bi, I did find it far easier being a lesbian - I was more readily accepted and welcomed in to the lgbt society at my uni, I didn't face or deal with any negative comments in gay clubs etc. Now I'm far more likely to hear comments about it being fashionable (due to the rise in popularity with female celebs coming out) or the assumption that because I present as heteronormative, that's what I am.
I've had unpleasant remarks made when I've attended Pride with my partner because of the belief that I'm encroaching on their safe space. Or the greedy comments. My own mum asks me if I've finally made up my mind I like men now.
Sometimes it feels like I should reel off my proof of bisexuality or carry it around in a handy condensed card with me.
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By *ucidityWoman
over a year ago
Nottingham |
"
Sometimes it feels like I should reel off my proof of bisexuality or carry it around in a handy condensed card with me.
"
Like a business card, I could fit it in my purse and hand it out at appropriate times.
I’m almost half tempted to make one now. |
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