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What's wrong with our men?
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"Women and couples do do this, though perhaps not when messaging men as they have more choice there. And in my experience they're pissier about it when you point out they're outside your preferences. " The nastiest most hateful message I ever had was sent to Cixi. Questions my mental health, morality and the like. That was sent by a woman. So fair point.. I tend to only get shown the messages from men.. "I want to impregnate/pay you/shit on you" Kind of stuff. I've definitely been on receiving end of angry couples messages.. all because I'm not happy going bi, till we've been straight first. So yeah good point. It's not just men. Maybe it's just the numbers throwing it off? | |||
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"People often say the crappy men don't spoil it for the genuine ones, but I think they do. I agree with everything in the OP. Caveman mentality maybe. "Want sex ... fuck now? You're online and turned me down? WTF?????"" Nailed it, it’s like they have no self awareness  | |||
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"Women and couples do do this, though perhaps not when messaging men as they have more choice there. And in my experience they're pissier about it when you point out they're outside your preferences. The nastiest most hateful message I ever had was sent to Cixi. Questions my mental health, morality and the like. That was sent by a woman. So fair point.. I tend to only get shown the messages from men.. "I want to impregnate/pay you/shit on you" Kind of stuff. I've definitely been on receiving end of angry couples messages.. all because I'm not happy going bi, till we've been straight first. So yeah good point. It's not just men. Maybe it's just the numbers throwing it off?" I think this could be another reason that many bi men say they're straight on their profiles. Because they get sick of all the demanding messages from men. | |||
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"As you say, they're only thinking with their little brains... All the blood engorges their cocks and drains their brains, depriving them of any normal thinking capacity "But.. youd think after the failures, they'd cool off, regroup and begin to look at why that tactic doesnt work. Why that conversation descended into chaos. Why they upset the other person. Why messages arent responded to. Why they get blocked. Obviously many guys do and find themselves in the forum asking those very same questions. Often the answers are ignored and patterns repeated. | |||
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"As you say, they're only thinking with their little brains... All the blood engorges their cocks and drains their brains, depriving them of any normal thinking capacity
But.. youd think after the failures, they'd cool off, regroup and begin to look at why that tactic doesnt work.
Why that conversation descended into chaos. Why they upset the other person. Why messages arent responded to. Why they get blocked.
Obviously many guys do and find themselves in the forum asking those very same questions. Often the answers are ignored and patterns repeated.
"Because as far as they're concerned the fault lies with other people, not them | |||
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As for your op, I’d agree with Gemini mans point that a lot of it comes down to the sheer volume of men.
If there’s 25 men to each woman on here then the chances are that there will be so many more single man douches than anything else. | |||
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"As you say, they're only thinking with their little brains... All the blood engorges their cocks and drains their brains, depriving them of any normal thinking capacity
But.. youd think after the failures, they'd cool off, regroup and begin to look at why that tactic doesnt work.
Why that conversation descended into chaos. Why they upset the other person. Why messages arent responded to. Why they get blocked.
Obviously many guys do and find themselves in the forum asking those very same questions. Often the answers are ignored and patterns repeated.
"Some do reassess and adopt a different approach but I think the reality is many just keep plugging away and eventually give up only to be replaced by new guys that stumble across the site and so the cycle continues. Don't forget too that only a tiny proportion of the site uses the forums, and probably a tinier still proportion hangs around in them long enough to read some of the advice written, so there's a whole tranche out there that sign up and think their way is the right way - adopting the approach that if they keep asking someone will eventually say yes. | |||
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"I think a lot can be answered by "Men blinded so much by their little brain" - however one other thought that has two angles - firstly is it simply down to volumes of men compared to other categories that it's more noticeable? i.e. if there were an equal number of men, women, couples, TVs etc would that mean a more even spread of that kind of message, or is it simply because of the number difference that some men are driven to more desperate measures driven by desperation? I *do* think that the difference between men and women comes into it to an extent too - men are, by nature, more carnal beasts and as such more likely to be a lot more direct, especially having seen the "sex site" flashing lights, and therefore think that because it's a sex site that the streets of Fab are lined with sex without understanding the finer nuances that are required." you're right. NSAChick mentioned numbers game and I think that comes into it. Only 6-7yrs on Fab and only one nasty female message over a controversial issue to some. 2-3 nasty couples messages. VS infinite male bin mail. I think there are elements of gender/sexuality/intelligence at play here. Women tend to be more emotionally intelligent creatures in my experience. More empathic and caring at a younger age in life. Whereas men tend to need to experience a little tragedy in life before they learn what's important and start to change. TV/TS profiles.. take on elements of feminine/female characteristics to varying degrees. Positive emotional rolemodeling at work? I'd like to say male bisexuality has a positive effect, unfortunately it's the messages from other bi men that tend to get on my nerves. Gay men tend to be more respectful of boundaries in my experience. Maybe it's down to emotional intelligence? Some men have it. Most don't. That or the big flashy sex site sign like you say? | |||
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Just go with the flow GK and try not to let it get you down  | |||
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"People often say the crappy men don't spoil it for the genuine ones, but I think they do. I agree with everything in the OP. Caveman mentality maybe. "Want sex ... fuck now? You're online and turned me down? WTF?????"" They do and they don't. They show the seeds of doubt in peoples minds.. so the likes of me are often faced with degrading hoops to jump through, to contact people. Labelled the same thing as someone totally different to me. On the flip side. I stand out from the crowd for not being that way. As do many other decent, well behaved men of Fab. Part of me wishes fab would provide tutorials on behaviour etiquette. The other half is happy, very happy there are so many cavemen. | |||
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"I don’t think with my brain when I look at your photos Ghengis, perhaps that’s the problem "Duh, you put sexy pictures up OP, it's your own fault! | |||
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"I don’t think with my brain when I look at your photos Ghengis, perhaps that’s the problem
Duh, you put sexy pictures up OP, it's your own fault! "Yes, exactly ..only teasing Ghengis  | |||
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"People often say the crappy men don't spoil it for the genuine ones, but I think they do. I agree with everything in the OP. Caveman mentality maybe. "Want sex ... fuck now? You're online and turned me down? WTF?????" They do and they don't. They show the seeds of doubt in peoples minds.. so the likes of me are often faced with degrading hoops to jump through, to contact people. Labelled the same thing as someone totally different to me. On the flip side. I stand out from the crowd for not being that way. As do many other decent, well behaved men of Fab. Part of me wishes fab would provide tutorials on behaviour etiquette. The other half is happy, very happy there are so many cavemen. " The cavemen wouldn't read it. Is a sex site innit, make with the sex! | |||
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"People often say the crappy men don't spoil it for the genuine ones, but I think they do. I agree with everything in the OP. Caveman mentality maybe. "Want sex ... fuck now? You're online and turned me down? WTF?????" They do and they don't. They show the seeds of doubt in peoples minds.. so the likes of me are often faced with degrading hoops to jump through, to contact people. Labelled the same thing as someone totally different to me. On the flip side. I stand out from the crowd for not being that way. As do many other decent, well behaved men of Fab. Part of me wishes fab would provide tutorials on behaviour etiquette. The other half is happy, very happy there are so many cavemen. " We have had to very strongly reject women by message and in person who refuse to accept that I'm straight. Men are not the only ones who behave the way you describe, it's people. Fab's a website that allows people to contact each other Ghengis, it gives us options such as report, block, filter. It's not in the business of teaching people who don't know how to behave in a socially acceptable way. I doubt it would succeed anyway. | |||
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"Women and couples do do this, though perhaps not when messaging men as they have more choice there. And in my experience they're pissier about it when you point out they're outside your preferences. The nastiest most hateful message I ever had was sent to Cixi. Questions my mental health, morality and the like. That was sent by a woman. So fair point.. I tend to only get shown the messages from men.. "I want to impregnate/pay you/shit on you" Kind of stuff. I've definitely been on receiving end of angry couples messages.. all because I'm not happy going bi, till we've been straight first. So yeah good point. It's not just men. Maybe it's just the numbers throwing it off? I think this could be another reason that many bi men say they're straight on their profiles. Because they get sick of all the demanding messages from men. " No. I get far less as a bi male, bi curious than I did when I was.. lying? Unsure about myself. I put it down to bi men being scared about their own sexuality. They don't want to be gay. Scared of the stigma. Scared of the reaction. Lack of female attention. Afraid to be them. Dont know who they are. It feels less gay meeting a straight man. OR.. they think they're so hot they can turn a straight man? TV/TS profiles used to contact me all the time. Always polite, always respectfully, initially non sexual. Now I'm bi.. they dont. I think there is an element of "I'm so hot I can turn the straight guy" an element of "Fear of sexuality" but also the desire to be seen and thought of as female by a man. They don't, now I'm bi. Bar people like Mikki and a few forum friends who ake the time to understand. Maybe its because they think I'm attracted to the male attributes, not the female ones I lean way closer to. I went off tangent.. sorry. | |||
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Yes, the majority of men (only commenting on those) don't read my profile but when this is pointed out do actually tend to apologise!
Not sure how it works out differently for some ladies but I hide my profile when I'm not on and/or don't have the time or inclination for fab so tend not to be inundated with messages unless I have the time to answer but do frequent both the forums and chatrooms. | |||
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"As you say, they're only thinking with their little brains... All the blood engorges their cocks and drains their brains, depriving them of any normal thinking capacity
But.. youd think after the failures, they'd cool off, regroup and begin to look at why that tactic doesnt work.
Why that conversation descended into chaos. Why they upset the other person. Why messages arent responded to. Why they get blocked.
Obviously many guys do and find themselves in the forum asking those very same questions. Often the answers are ignored and patterns repeated.
Because as far as they're concerned the fault lies with other people, not them"The only filter change I could suggest.. from my point of view to solve my own problem. Would bd to introduce a filter that allowed communication with Forum men, but closed it off to wider Fab. As, in my experience, forum men are wiser. Know my personality and wouldn't dare
Having said that.. I could just message them if their filters are open. Only they tend to close them down for same reasons I do.
I wonder if there are a others who'd appreciate a similar Forum filter? Or share same view?
Not asking for one. Just seeing where land lies, ought of morbid curiosity.
The Forum is more unique to rest of Fab. | |||
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"You’re bi! I’d never of guessed that. It’s good to see a guy being upfront and owning it
As for your op, I’d agree with Gemini mans point that a lot of it comes down to the sheer volume of men.
If there’s 25 men to each woman on here then the chances are that there will be so many more single man douches than anything else."cant tell if you're taking the piss or not | |||
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"As you say, they're only thinking with their little brains... All the blood engorges their cocks and drains their brains, depriving them of any normal thinking capacity
But.. youd think after the failures, they'd cool off, regroup and begin to look at why that tactic doesnt work.
Why that conversation descended into chaos. Why they upset the other person. Why messages arent responded to. Why they get blocked.
Obviously many guys do and find themselves in the forum asking those very same questions. Often the answers are ignored and patterns repeated.
Because as far as they're concerned the fault lies with other people, not them
The only filter change I could suggest.. from my point of view to solve my own problem. Would bd to introduce a filter that allowed communication with Forum men, but closed it off to wider Fab. As, in my experience, forum men are wiser. Know my personality and wouldn't dare
Having said that.. I could just message them if their filters are open. Only they tend to close them down for same reasons I do.
I wonder if there are a others who'd appreciate a similar Forum filter? Or share same view?
Not asking for one. Just seeing where land lies, ought of morbid curiosity.
The Forum is more unique to rest of Fab."I imagine a filter that would only apply to people who use the forum is unlikely to be top of the to do list .
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"As you say, they're only thinking with their little brains... All the blood engorges their cocks and drains their brains, depriving them of any normal thinking capacity
But.. youd think after the failures, they'd cool off, regroup and begin to look at why that tactic doesnt work.
Why that conversation descended into chaos. Why they upset the other person. Why messages arent responded to. Why they get blocked.
Obviously many guys do and find themselves in the forum asking those very same questions. Often the answers are ignored and patterns repeated.
Some do reassess and adopt a different approach but I think the reality is many just keep plugging away and eventually give up only to be replaced by new guys that stumble across the site and so the cycle continues.
Don't forget too that only a tiny proportion of the site uses the forums, and probably a tinier still proportion hangs around in them long enough to read some of the advice written, so there's a whole tranche out there that sign up and think their way is the right way - adopting the approach that if they keep asking someone will eventually say yes."I know. but forum is what i use. Very rarely delve into site at large. As the quality of people tends to collapse. My filter suggestion would just cut out a lot of crap. for me | |||
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"It’s frustrating but you soon learn the ones you don’t send a polite no thanks to, as likely to descend into abuse or more. As for reading profiles that seems a rarity with men, even when they start with “Ive read your profile” and are clearly not in your preferences. It’s not just reserved to men though I’ve found couples are very similar and even after saying sorry not what I’m looking for right now, a couple of days later they ask again.... yep my mind changes that quick !
Just go with the flow GK and try not to let it get you down "Does that make you wonder which half of the couple you're talking to? Whether it's a genuine couple? It does with me. | |||
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"People often say the crappy men don't spoil it for the genuine ones, but I think they do. I agree with everything in the OP. Caveman mentality maybe. "Want sex ... fuck now? You're online and turned me down? WTF?????" They do and they don't. They show the seeds of doubt in peoples minds.. so the likes of me are often faced with degrading hoops to jump through, to contact people. Labelled the same thing as someone totally different to me. On the flip side. I stand out from the crowd for not being that way. As do many other decent, well behaved men of Fab. Part of me wishes fab would provide tutorials on behaviour etiquette. The other half is happy, very happy there are so many cavemen. " I dislike any kind of behaviour tutorials, like profile advice threads. It teaches the cavemen how to act like a normal person. Then they can slip through our safety net and meet us. I want them to fall at their first rude message. I don't want to be conned into meeting a crappy person because someone taught them how to pretend to be decent. | |||
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"As you say, they're only thinking with their little brains... All the blood engorges their cocks and drains their brains, depriving them of any normal thinking capacity
But.. youd think after the failures, they'd cool off, regroup and begin to look at why that tactic doesnt work.
Why that conversation descended into chaos. Why they upset the other person. Why messages arent responded to. Why they get blocked.
Obviously many guys do and find themselves in the forum asking those very same questions. Often the answers are ignored and patterns repeated.
Some do reassess and adopt a different approach but I think the reality is many just keep plugging away and eventually give up only to be replaced by new guys that stumble across the site and so the cycle continues.
Don't forget too that only a tiny proportion of the site uses the forums, and probably a tinier still proportion hangs around in them long enough to read some of the advice written, so there's a whole tranche out there that sign up and think their way is the right way - adopting the approach that if they keep asking someone will eventually say yes."The trouble with men considering a more focused, nuanced and respectful approach is that often has little effect. I spent 2 years doing that, and it crossed my mind that maybe being a demanding dick might work better. I didn’t, but I see how men can get like that however unacceptable it is. | |||
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"I don’t think with my brain when I look at your photos Ghengis, perhaps that’s the problem "Yet every message you've sent me has been lovely. | |||
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"I don’t think with my brain when I look at your photos Ghengis, perhaps that’s the problem
Duh, you put sexy pictures up OP, it's your own fault! "Victim Shamer | |||
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"I haven't had any nasty messages in my time here from men or women. Men are the majority so I've had plenty of moronic messages with no thought put into them - but never nasty. Having a thick skin is definitely a requirement for allowing yourself to be judged on the internet. The opinions of strangers dont matter that much to me. The horrible comments are the easiest to believe though - so if you're easily offended then it's probably better you dont open yourself up to it. " I'm not easily offended and have thick skin.. you should see my feet. Just a minor irritation. | |||
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"Currently my communication filters are open to everyone. I'd like to keep it that way if possible.. but I'm already getting annoyed. Whatever I put on my profile.. e.g. "Not looking to meet men" (even if it's at the top of my profile). Falls on deaf ears. Men blinded so much by their little brain, that they dont even read the profile of the person they're sending it to. No attempt to see if the big brains might connect. When I point out, men "aren't what I'm looking for" It descends into an argument about me being bi. Asking me to justify how I can be bi, but not looking for blokes. Then they get a bit insulting, or worse crack on cracking on regardless. Women don't do this. I've yet to come across one female profile who has messaged outside my prefererance ranges (when they're displayed). Never had a female, or TV/TS profile react in any way other than a positive, polite goodbye - IF I've politely declined their advances. First messages are never sexual or pornographic, always friendly and respectful. Very few couples profiles follow the man pattern, but its more prevalent than Female or TV/TS community on here. In my experience, I have to assume it's the Male half I'm talking to. Is it porn? Is it narcissism? So wrapped up in what they want, what they need? Repressed? So lost in desire and desperation that they can only focus on the one thing? Less emotional creatures with no care or respect for other people? Stupidity? Lack of emotional intelligence? I'm a man. I don't act like that. It'd be nice if we could set up different communication filters in the forum than wider Fab. I suspect the majority of longer term forum men are a little wiser, little more respectful and a little more aware of who they're talking with.. than the Fab Horde. Thoughts on any of that? Explanations? Suggestions? Answers? Theories? Or Solutions?" This is why I stopped men from messaging me. Made me appreciate some of the rubbish women put up with. | |||
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"Not been awake long so brain not quite in gear just yet, but one word springs to mind. Selfishness. I also think in a world where parents teach their kids that no means yes after the 50th time of pestering and pleading their case it does nobody any favours. P" AMEN Aunty P.....this is a definite issue I'd say....especially with younger people on here maybe....even some spoilt older ones... ....but don't forget OP.....that the fact remains that 97.8% of our side of the species are mentally challenged idiots who spoil things for us few normal....ish.....people!!! | |||
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"I know where you’re coming from. I’ve got my filters open for the forums, it says I’m not meeting on my profile, it also says straight, I still get men messaging, sending unsolicited friend requests. Their messages are either usually sexual straight away, creepy or they mention they’d love to see me with their gf/ wife, yeah right. Women on the other hand, are always polite, rarely sexual in a first message, if they are it’s more subtle and they never get arsey if you say no thanks. Im not one to knock single blokes usually, , but it’s been getting on my tits and I’m tempted to block the lot of them. " If you did.. you and I would have to use a 3rd party to overcome a blocked comms filter. Which is frustrating when it happens.. and technically not allowed. I think most Forum men would adopt a yes to forum related friends and messages. But a no to the wider world. Its a different environment. like I mentioned though, it's easy to get round if you are friends with people here and respectful of the people you talk to. | |||
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"Isn’t it almost expected that men won’t take the first no for an answer? I don’t think men are less emotional, less caring or lack emotional intelligence. I just don’t believe society demands that they nurture these parts of themselves. Are these not stereotypically feminine traits? When are men given space to be emotional? Could this not be perceived as damaging if a man’s masculinity is fragile? I don’t think this kind of behaviour is limited to men but I do see a lot of this behaviour as being a product of our social conditioning and I think a meaningful solution lies in much larger, structural changes to our society. " Brilliantly put. I rarely if ever receive negative messages from men - the couple of times I have have been down to persisting when I've politely made clear I'm not interested in the slightest. | |||
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"I think a lot can be answered by "Men blinded so much by their little brain" - however one other thought that has two angles - firstly is it simply down to volumes of men compared to other categories that it's more noticeable? i.e. if there were an equal number of men, women, couples, TVs etc would that mean a more even spread of that kind of message, or is it simply because of the number difference that some men are driven to more desperate measures driven by desperation? I *do* think that the difference between men and women comes into it to an extent too - men are, by nature, more carnal beasts and as such more likely to be a lot more direct, especially having seen the "sex site" flashing lights, and therefore think that because it's a sex site that the streets of Fab are lined with sex without understanding the finer nuances that are required." I think you make good points here. I think women are often more likely to read profiles too as we're often not as visually driven as men when it comes to attraction so pictures alone don't cut it. Of course I'm speaking in generalisations here and there are of course women who are more visual and men who need more mental stimulation too. | |||
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"I've been here for a good few years and only get a couple of actually rude messages a year, never get abuse from a "no" reply and unless a message really is totally ignorant reply to all my messages! Must be very lucky ... thankfully
Yes, the majority of men (only commenting on those) don't read my profile but when this is pointed out do actually tend to apologise!
Not sure how it works out differently for some ladies but I hide my profile when I'm not on and/or don't have the time or inclination for fab so tend not to be inundated with messages unless I have the time to answer but do frequent both the forums and chatrooms. "I'm often pleasantly surprised how polite men are when I point out their rudeness and they apologise.
Perhaps they think being overtly sexual and demanding is how we want them to behave. Or the only way to get a reply from a woman, even if it's just "sod off!!". | |||
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"People often say the crappy men don't spoil it for the genuine ones, but I think they do. I agree with everything in the OP. Caveman mentality maybe. "Want sex ... fuck now? You're online and turned me down? WTF?????" They do and they don't. They show the seeds of doubt in peoples minds.. so the likes of me are often faced with degrading hoops to jump through, to contact people. Labelled the same thing as someone totally different to me. On the flip side. I stand out from the crowd for not being that way. As do many other decent, well behaved men of Fab. Part of me wishes fab would provide tutorials on behaviour etiquette. The other half is happy, very happy there are so many cavemen. We have had to very strongly reject women by message and in person who refuse to accept that I'm straight. Men are not the only ones who behave the way you describe, it's people. Fab's a website that allows people to contact each other Ghengis, it gives us options such as report, block, filter. It's not in the business of teaching people who don't know how to behave in a socially acceptable way. I doubt it would succeed anyway." See.. That's what I'd change. Personally if I were in charge, I'd feel a sense of responsibility, need, desire to teach, whether it worked or not. I'm not. So you're all safe And I still like Fab very much as it is. No designs on Invading/Mutiny or Conquering | |||
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"Not been awake long so brain not quite in gear just yet, but one word springs to mind. Selfishness. I also think in a world where parents teach their kids that no means yes after the 50th time of pestering and pleading their case it does nobody any favours. P" So men are more selfish on the whole? Or are numbers skewing things? Bit of both? | |||
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"It's because a lot of men (not all) come on here solely when they have blue balls and consequently arent thinking normally. And porn, porn has a lot to answer for." To be honest I think a lot see this as some kind of interactive porn site where the models aren't some kind of glossy surgically enhanced glamorous babe but the girl next door - and therefore "think" they are more attainable | |||
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"As you say, they're only thinking with their little brains... All the blood engorges their cocks and drains their brains, depriving them of any normal thinking capacity
But.. youd think after the failures, they'd cool off, regroup and begin to look at why that tactic doesnt work.
Why that conversation descended into chaos. Why they upset the other person. Why messages arent responded to. Why they get blocked.
Obviously many guys do and find themselves in the forum asking those very same questions. Often the answers are ignored and patterns repeated.
Because as far as they're concerned the fault lies with other people, not them
The only filter change I could suggest.. from my point of view to solve my own problem. Would bd to introduce a filter that allowed communication with Forum men, but closed it off to wider Fab. As, in my experience, forum men are wiser. Know my personality and wouldn't dare
Having said that.. I could just message them if their filters are open. Only they tend to close them down for same reasons I do.
I wonder if there are a others who'd appreciate a similar Forum filter? Or share same view?
Not asking for one. Just seeing where land lies, ought of morbid curiosity.
The Forum is more unique to rest of Fab.
I imagine a filter that would only apply to people who use the forum is unlikely to be top of the to do list .
"I'm sure Its not the first change I'd see to either | |||
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"It's because a lot of men (not all) come on here solely when they have blue balls and consequently arent thinking normally. And porn, porn has a lot to answer for. To be honest I think a lot see this as some kind of interactive porn site where the models aren't some kind of glossy surgically enhanced glamorous babe but the girl next door - and therefore "think" they are more attainable" Perhaps there should be an IQ test when setting up a profile and the all users can be graded and communication only allowed within similar groups. It’s never going to happen, but my god would it be interesting lol Happy fabbing | |||
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"It's because a lot of men (not all) come on here solely when they have blue balls and consequently arent thinking normally. And porn, porn has a lot to answer for. To be honest I think a lot see this as some kind of interactive porn site where the models aren't some kind of glossy surgically enhanced glamorous babe but the girl next door - and therefore "think" they are more attainable" And if they're online they are dressed in lingerie looking for a fuck.
Hence the confusion when someone says 'no'. | |||
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"Ultimately though my friend, I think we each as individuals have to deal with it - as Nicecouple said Fab facilitates the ability to meet other likeminded individuals but it really isn't and shouldn't be in the business of educating adults how to behave - likewise we as individual users can pass on the benefit of our experience through forum posts such as this, but there's only so much you can do and it really is a tiny drop in the ocean because you can't force people to read and/or take notice - so to an extent you just have to accept it, carry on being you, not rising to those that send crappy messages (any I get I just delete and don't give a second thought to). Yes, it's a shame, but you won't change a thing, those that don't "get" the site will still keep appearing - contrary to what someone said earlier, they don't spoil my enjoyment of it, or ruin my chances of finding what I am looking for, only I can do that - so just keep on being you and focus on what you are looking for from the site and treat those that send annoying messages with the contempt they deserve is the best bet." Why shouldn't it be in the business of educating/reeducating people? Were all taught jack shit in school. Taught the wrong things in porn. Only know what limited stuff we do through experience. It's not for Fab to tell people how to have sex and who with. I dont see the harm in offering new users advice in some form. Anyway.. we're veering off topic and I don't have any beef with Fab itself  We're all different and do things differently. | |||
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"People often say the crappy men don't spoil it for the genuine ones, but I think they do. I agree with everything in the OP. Caveman mentality maybe. "Want sex ... fuck now? You're online and turned me down? WTF?????" They do and they don't. They show the seeds of doubt in peoples minds.. so the likes of me are often faced with degrading hoops to jump through, to contact people. Labelled the same thing as someone totally different to me. On the flip side. I stand out from the crowd for not being that way. As do many other decent, well behaved men of Fab. Part of me wishes fab would provide tutorials on behaviour etiquette. The other half is happy, very happy there are so many cavemen. I dislike any kind of behaviour tutorials, like profile advice threads. It teaches the cavemen how to act like a normal person. Then they can slip through our safety net and meet us. I want them to fall at their first rude message. I don't want to be conned into meeting a crappy person because someone taught them how to pretend to be decent. " Good point. | |||
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"Loving the rant Genghis.... Just take it as a compliment I'd say that they contact you!! Mine says no single males, but the filters still allow contact for forum games....but I've never been pestered so to speak by single men!!! ....so take the compliment....the men loving side of our species obviously want to bum the Shit out of you....surely that's a good thing that basically says your attractive.... "I dont think it does I think it's more a case that every other man in a 20mile radius got the same message at the same time. | |||
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"Are ‘men blinded so much by their little brain’? Yes, perhaps sometimes but then I’m sure I’ve been hijacked by my lizard brain on occasion... I think, and I’m painfully aware that I am speaking in a broad generalising manner which doesn’t recognise individual differences, there is in society an underlying understanding that men can and should aggressively go after what they want in all areas of their life, consequences be damned. Isn’t it almost expected that men won’t take the first no for an answer? I don’t think men are less emotional, less caring or lack emotional intelligence. I just don’t believe society demands that they nurture these parts of themselves. Are these not stereotypically feminine traits? When are men given space to be emotional? Could this not be perceived as damaging if a man’s masculinity is fragile? I don’t think this kind of behaviour is limited to men but I do see a lot of this behaviour as being a product of our social conditioning and I think a meaningful solution lies in much larger, structural changes to our society. " I  that answer the most. | |||
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"Currently my communication filters are open to everyone. I'd like to keep it that way if possible.. but I'm already getting annoyed. Whatever I put on my profile.. e.g. "Not looking to meet men" (even if it's at the top of my profile). Falls on deaf ears. Men blinded so much by their little brain, that they dont even read the profile of the person they're sending it to. No attempt to see if the big brains might connect. When I point out, men "aren't what I'm looking for" It descends into an argument about me being bi. Asking me to justify how I can be bi, but not looking for blokes. Then they get a bit insulting, or worse crack on cracking on regardless. Women don't do this. I've yet to come across one female profile who has messaged outside my prefererance ranges (when they're displayed). Never had a female, or TV/TS profile react in any way other than a positive, polite goodbye - IF I've politely declined their advances. First messages are never sexual or pornographic, always friendly and respectful. Very few couples profiles follow the man pattern, but its more prevalent than Female or TV/TS community on here. In my experience, I have to assume it's the Male half I'm talking to. Is it porn? Is it narcissism? So wrapped up in what they want, what they need? Repressed? So lost in desire and desperation that they can only focus on the one thing? Less emotional creatures with no care or respect for other people? Stupidity? Lack of emotional intelligence? I'm a man. I don't act like that. It'd be nice if we could set up different communication filters in the forum than wider Fab. I suspect the majority of longer term forum men are a little wiser, little more respectful and a little more aware of who they're talking with.. than the Fab Horde. Thoughts on any of that? Explanations? Suggestions? Answers? Theories? Or Solutions? This is why I stopped men from messaging me. Made me appreciate some of the rubbish women put up with. " We learn to see things from others perspective
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"As you say, they're only thinking with their little brains... All the blood engorges their cocks and drains their brains, depriving them of any normal thinking capacity
But.. youd think after the failures, they'd cool off, regroup and begin to look at why that tactic doesnt work.
Why that conversation descended into chaos. Why they upset the other person. Why messages arent responded to. Why they get blocked.
Obviously many guys do and find themselves in the forum asking those very same questions. Often the answers are ignored and patterns repeated.
Some do reassess and adopt a different approach but I think the reality is many just keep plugging away and eventually give up only to be replaced by new guys that stumble across the site and so the cycle continues.
Don't forget too that only a tiny proportion of the site uses the forums, and probably a tinier still proportion hangs around in them long enough to read some of the advice written, so there's a whole tranche out there that sign up and think their way is the right way - adopting the approach that if they keep asking someone will eventually say yes.
The trouble with men considering a more focused, nuanced and respectful approach is that often has little effect. I spent 2 years doing that, and it crossed my mind that maybe being a demanding dick might work better. I didn’t, but I see how men can get like that however unacceptable it is. "It's not necessarily about finding a focussed, nuanced or respectful approach (although respectful should ALWAYS come into it) but finding the approach that works for them - all too often a lot of guys think the *only* approach is blithely sending messages "cold" to people - when there are many other ways - I've sent 6 "cold" messages in my time here and found that approach just didn't work for me (even though I got replies from 5 of them) so found other ways to improve my experience of the site. I "get" why some guys may find it frustrating and understand why off the back of that their approach may become increasingly desperate - but all too often they look to blame anything but themselves for their lack of "success" when the truth often lies a lot closer to home. There are no guarantees to Fab but key is finding the right attitude, approach and expectations of the site and coupling it with a decent profile and pics - get those things right and anyones experience will be a whole lot less frustrating. | |||
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"It's because a lot of men (not all) come on here solely when they have blue balls and consequently arent thinking normally. And porn, porn has a lot to answer for. To be honest I think a lot see this as some kind of interactive porn site where the models aren't some kind of glossy surgically enhanced glamorous babe but the girl next door - and therefore "think" they are more attainable" I'd agree with that. | |||
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"It's because a lot of men (not all) come on here solely when they have blue balls and consequently arent thinking normally. And porn, porn has a lot to answer for. To be honest I think a lot see this as some kind of interactive porn site where the models aren't some kind of glossy surgically enhanced glamorous babe but the girl next door - and therefore "think" they are more attainable Perhaps there should be an IQ test when setting up a profile and the all users can be graded and communication only allowed within similar groups. It’s never going to happen, but my god would it be interesting lol Happy fabbing" ooooh I think I may be very disappointed if that happens. I'm attracted to intelligence.. not as intelligent as I think I am though | |||
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"Currently my communication filters are open to everyone. I'd like to keep it that way if possible.. but I'm already getting annoyed. Whatever I put on my profile.. e.g. "Not looking to meet men" (even if it's at the top of my profile). Falls on deaf ears. Men blinded so much by their little brain, that they dont even read the profile of the person they're sending it to. No attempt to see if the big brains might connect. When I point out, men "aren't what I'm looking for" It descends into an argument about me being bi. Asking me to justify how I can be bi, but not looking for blokes. Then they get a bit insulting, or worse crack on cracking on regardless. Women don't do this. I've yet to come across one female profile who has messaged outside my prefererance ranges (when they're displayed). Never had a female, or TV/TS profile react in any way other than a positive, polite goodbye - IF I've politely declined their advances. First messages are never sexual or pornographic, always friendly and respectful. Very few couples profiles follow the man pattern, but its more prevalent than Female or TV/TS community on here. In my experience, I have to assume it's the Male half I'm talking to. Is it porn? Is it narcissism? So wrapped up in what they want, what they need? Repressed? So lost in desire and desperation that they can only focus on the one thing? Less emotional creatures with no care or respect for other people? Stupidity? Lack of emotional intelligence? I'm a man. I don't act like that. It'd be nice if we could set up different communication filters in the forum than wider Fab. I suspect the majority of longer term forum men are a little wiser, little more respectful and a little more aware of who they're talking with.. than the Fab Horde. Thoughts on any of that? Explanations? Suggestions? Answers? Theories? Or Solutions?" I'd agree that it is only men who do this. I tend to find it's something that goes a little deeper. If one is prone to objectifying others then sometimes you only see your experience as the only real one or one of consequence (if enacted on an object) and this leads to dehumanisation of potential partners, just a hole to fuck to fulfil a porn scene they want to emulate or get off in the way they like. Red flags that come from this root are Ignoring your preferences. Sending explicit images or messages. Displaying anger or irritation if rejected. (You're a thing, you're supposed to bend to their needs) Entitlement. Pushing for more. Asking for explicit images. Lack of concern for your needs or state. Impatient. Calling you pet names in the first message. Imagining you in their sex fantasies and never asking your fantasies. | |||
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"I think this site gets mis-sold to a lot of people, I see status’s daily (mostly from men) expressing that this site isn’t what they expected. The attitude that I see a lot is that we are all on here for sex therefore it doesn’t matter who we have sex with because it’s just fulfilling an urge, attraction, preference and whatever else really doesn’t come into it for some people." | |||
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"It's because a lot of men (not all) come on here solely when they have blue balls and consequently arent thinking normally. And porn, porn has a lot to answer for. To be honest I think a lot see this as some kind of interactive porn site where the models aren't some kind of glossy surgically enhanced glamorous babe but the girl next door - and therefore "think" they are more attainable Perhaps there should be an IQ test when setting up a profile and the all users can be graded and communication only allowed within similar groups. It’s never going to happen, but my god would it be interesting lol Happy fabbing ooooh I think I may be very disappointed if that happens. I'm attracted to intelligence.. not as intelligent as I think I am though "I know this feeling. Had to correct some spelling on my own profile this morning  . | |||
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"Currently my communication filters are open to everyone. I'd like to keep it that way if possible.. but I'm already getting annoyed. Whatever I put on my profile.. e.g. "Not looking to meet men" (even if it's at the top of my profile). Falls on deaf ears. Men blinded so much by their little brain, that they dont even read the profile of the person they're sending it to. No attempt to see if the big brains might connect. When I point out, men "aren't what I'm looking for" It descends into an argument about me being bi. Asking me to justify how I can be bi, but not looking for blokes. Then they get a bit insulting, or worse crack on cracking on regardless. Women don't do this. I've yet to come across one female profile who has messaged outside my prefererance ranges (when they're displayed). Never had a female, or TV/TS profile react in any way other than a positive, polite goodbye - IF I've politely declined their advances. First messages are never sexual or pornographic, always friendly and respectful. Very few couples profiles follow the man pattern, but its more prevalent than Female or TV/TS community on here. In my experience, I have to assume it's the Male half I'm talking to. Is it porn? Is it narcissism? So wrapped up in what they want, what they need? Repressed? So lost in desire and desperation that they can only focus on the one thing? Less emotional creatures with no care or respect for other people? Stupidity? Lack of emotional intelligence? I'm a man. I don't act like that. It'd be nice if we could set up different communication filters in the forum than wider Fab. I suspect the majority of longer term forum men are a little wiser, little more respectful and a little more aware of who they're talking with.. than the Fab Horde. Thoughts on any of that? Explanations? Suggestions? Answers? Theories? Or Solutions? I'd agree that it is only men who do this. I tend to find it's something that goes a little deeper. If one is prone to objectifying others then sometimes you only see your experience as the only real one or one of consequence (if enacted on an object) and this leads to dehumanisation of potential partners, just a hole to fuck to fulfil a porn scene they want to emulate or get off in the way they like. Red flags that come from this root are Ignoring your preferences. Sending explicit images or messages. Displaying anger or irritation if rejected. (You're a thing, you're supposed to bend to their needs) Entitlement. Pushing for more. Asking for explicit images. Lack of concern for your needs or state. Impatient. Calling you pet names in the first message. Imagining you in their sex fantasies and never asking your fantasies." Good red flags | |||
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"Ultimately though my friend, I think we each as individuals have to deal with it - as Nicecouple said Fab facilitates the ability to meet other likeminded individuals but it really isn't and shouldn't be in the business of educating adults how to behave - likewise we as individual users can pass on the benefit of our experience through forum posts such as this, but there's only so much you can do and it really is a tiny drop in the ocean because you can't force people to read and/or take notice - so to an extent you just have to accept it, carry on being you, not rising to those that send crappy messages (any I get I just delete and don't give a second thought to). Yes, it's a shame, but you won't change a thing, those that don't "get" the site will still keep appearing - contrary to what someone said earlier, they don't spoil my enjoyment of it, or ruin my chances of finding what I am looking for, only I can do that - so just keep on being you and focus on what you are looking for from the site and treat those that send annoying messages with the contempt they deserve is the best bet. Why shouldn't it be in the business of educating/reeducating people? Were all taught jack shit in school. Taught the wrong things in porn. Only know what limited stuff we do through experience. It's not for Fab to tell people how to have sex and who with. I dont see the harm in offering new users advice in some form. Anyway.. we're veering off topic and I don't have any beef with Fab itself We're all different and do things differently."There is a section called "tips and getting started" it ends with "the rest is up to you" I actually was taught etiquette type stuff at school but I did go through the education system many years before you. | |||
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"You’re bi! I’d never of guessed that. It’s good to see a guy being upfront and owning it
As for your op, I’d agree with Gemini mans point that a lot of it comes down to the sheer volume of men.
If there’s 25 men to each woman on here then the chances are that there will be so many more single man douches than anything else.
cant tell if you're taking the piss or not "Not. I’d just never looked at your profile properly before. | |||
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"I think a lot can be answered by "Men blinded so much by their little brain" - however one other thought that has two angles - firstly is it simply down to volumes of men compared to other categories that it's more noticeable? i.e. if there were an equal number of men, women, couples, TVs etc would that mean a more even spread of that kind of message, or is it simply because of the number difference that some men are driven to more desperate measures driven by desperation? I *do* think that the difference between men and women comes into it to an extent too - men are, by nature, more carnal beasts and as such more likely to be a lot more direct, especially having seen the "sex site" flashing lights, and therefore think that because it's a sex site that the streets of Fab are lined with sex without understanding the finer nuances that are required." Tbh, men and women brain wise aren't actually all that different, physicality? Yes but our brains are more similar than a lot of people think. It's more about conditioning and porn imo. | |||
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"Not been awake long so brain not quite in gear just yet, but one word springs to mind. Selfishness. I also think in a world where parents teach their kids that no means yes after the 50th time of pestering and pleading their case it does nobody any favours. P So men are more selfish on the whole? Or are numbers skewing things? Bit of both?" I reckon it's probably more of a numbers thing for the most part, however I think it also comes down to how much the person wants it NOW. On the whole I think men are more likely to do the "horny now, want it now, apply pressure now" thing (out of the cluster of those we're talking about - the strop throwing "fuck your rules and what you want, I'm here for me and my balls want emptying" brigade" ) It's people forgetting or not caring that others have different views/needs/desires/morals etc. I just think some people struggle to differentiate that there are people attached to each profile, not just genitals that "need" sating. Perhaps they aren't used to being told no, whether growing up, in their job, whatever. P | |||
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"Ultimately though my friend, I think we each as individuals have to deal with it - as Nicecouple said Fab facilitates the ability to meet other likeminded individuals but it really isn't and shouldn't be in the business of educating adults how to behave - likewise we as individual users can pass on the benefit of our experience through forum posts such as this, but there's only so much you can do and it really is a tiny drop in the ocean because you can't force people to read and/or take notice - so to an extent you just have to accept it, carry on being you, not rising to those that send crappy messages (any I get I just delete and don't give a second thought to). Yes, it's a shame, but you won't change a thing, those that don't "get" the site will still keep appearing - contrary to what someone said earlier, they don't spoil my enjoyment of it, or ruin my chances of finding what I am looking for, only I can do that - so just keep on being you and focus on what you are looking for from the site and treat those that send annoying messages with the contempt they deserve is the best bet. Why shouldn't it be in the business of educating/reeducating people? Were all taught jack shit in school. Taught the wrong things in porn. Only know what limited stuff we do through experience. It's not for Fab to tell people how to have sex and who with. I dont see the harm in offering new users advice in some form. Anyway.. we're veering off topic and I don't have any beef with Fab itself We're all different and do things differently.
There is a section called "tips and getting started" it ends with "the rest is up to you"
I actually was taught etiquette type stuff at school but I did go through the education system many years before you. "My parents taught me.. probably explains a lot
Yes there are hints and tips. When I see stuff like that.. I love it. Makes me think Fab may be headed down that route.
As I'm not in the same camp as those who dont want their cavemen 'faking it'.
I think if you teach people, men and women. Then you can change their mindset. Which may may make life a little harder for the current crop of respectful men (competition). I'd also use the site as a soapbox to challenge the views that swinging or casual sex currently have in mord mainstream society. Try and actively boost membership.
Like I said though, we're all different and Fab isn't mine I keep veering off topic with you I repeat.. this isn't fabs problem. I do feel it has the power to help fight it, if it felt so inclined. By giving itself a voice and personality. | |||
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"You’re bi! I’d never of guessed that. It’s good to see a guy being upfront and owning it
As for your op, I’d agree with Gemini mans point that a lot of it comes down to the sheer volume of men.
If there’s 25 men to each woman on here then the chances are that there will be so many more single man douches than anything else.
cant tell if you're taking the piss or not
Not.
I’d just never looked at your profile properly before.
"Yes.. bi. But its complicated Which I've gone into MANY a time in forum. So I'd forgive you for taking the piss | |||
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"I think a lot can be answered by "Men blinded so much by their little brain" - however one other thought that has two angles - firstly is it simply down to volumes of men compared to other categories that it's more noticeable? i.e. if there were an equal number of men, women, couples, TVs etc would that mean a more even spread of that kind of message, or is it simply because of the number difference that some men are driven to more desperate measures driven by desperation? I *do* think that the difference between men and women comes into it to an extent too - men are, by nature, more carnal beasts and as such more likely to be a lot more direct, especially having seen the "sex site" flashing lights, and therefore think that because it's a sex site that the streets of Fab are lined with sex without understanding the finer nuances that are required. Tbh, men and women brain wise aren't actually all that different, physicality? Yes but our brains are more similar than a lot of people think. It's more about conditioning and porn imo." I think the same. Think vastly different suicide rates in men and women is a symptom to social conditioning. | |||
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"Not been awake long so brain not quite in gear just yet, but one word springs to mind. Selfishness. I also think in a world where parents teach their kids that no means yes after the 50th time of pestering and pleading their case it does nobody any favours. P So men are more selfish on the whole? Or are numbers skewing things? Bit of both? I reckon it's probably more of a numbers thing for the most part, however I think it also comes down to how much the person wants it NOW. On the whole I think men are more likely to do the "horny now, want it now, apply pressure now" thing (out of the cluster of those we're talking about - the strop throwing "fuck your rules and what you want, I'm here for me and my balls want emptying" brigade" ) It's people forgetting or not caring that others have different views/needs/desires/morals etc. I just think some people struggle to differentiate that there are people attached to each profile, not just genitals that "need" sating. Perhaps they aren't used to being told no, whether growing up, in their job, whatever. P" You may be right, because for all my etiquette and rhetoric on the forum. I too.. am prone to putting up the odd.. "I'm free now please jump on me" Status. Because the urge is coarsing through me. I don't let that frustration flow into my messages though. I do see women in my local area putting up the same kind of attention attracting statuses for immediate satisfaction though. | |||
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"I think the school syllabus is finally changing to give boys and girls some education on the dangers of online porn and social media There's a whole generation of kids coming out of school who have been able to access porn from an early age. Can you imagine seeing all the stuff online as your first introduction to sexuality? Porn has a lot to answer for and boys will suffer greatly because of the unrealistic expectations it gives them. Women's sexuality and expression is far too often seen through the male gaze and what men desire. I'm not sure how much Fab is any different to going to a bar on Fri or Sat night and being propositioned by guys but it's quite shocking how few men know how to engage in a conversation without thrusting their cock at you if not immediately, then pretty quickly into the conversation. " I think if school system refuses to teach people what they so desperately need to know. Thanks to close minds in wider society. Then there is a space for someone else to provide it. What better place than a site that helps to facilitate the urge in question? Maybe it's just me? My desire go want to help others. I'm no guru, but I do help change perspectives by just talking openly about my experiences. To me the Forum is the greatest sex education tool I've ever used. It has helped me grow in confidence. Make new friends, find new lovers. Provided a place to hangout in an otherwise lonely, boring town in middle of nowhere. I have an urge to "Pass it on". | |||
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"It's because a lot of men (not all) come on here solely when they have blue balls and consequently arent thinking normally. And porn, porn has a lot to answer for. To be honest I think a lot see this as some kind of interactive porn site where the models aren't some kind of glossy surgically enhanced glamorous babe but the girl next door - and therefore "think" they are more attainable Perhaps there should be an IQ test when setting up a profile and the all users can be graded and communication only allowed within similar groups. It’s never going to happen, but my god would it be interesting lol Happy fabbing ooooh I think I may be very disappointed if that happens. I'm attracted to intelligence.. not as intelligent as I think I am though
I know this feeling. Had to correct some spelling on my own profile this morning ."I'll see you in the C- group then? | |||
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"It's not just men on here. I'm currently wondering what I've done wrong because of someone genuinely just being a dick in the real world! " If you're having to wonder, then it may not be you. May not be worth worrying about. Sometimes people attach their deepest fears and insecurities about themselves, onto others. If you're having to think super deeply, its possibly not your fault at all? | |||
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"Ultimately though my friend, I think we each as individuals have to deal with it - as Nicecouple said Fab facilitates the ability to meet other likeminded individuals but it really isn't and shouldn't be in the business of educating adults how to behave - likewise we as individual users can pass on the benefit of our experience through forum posts such as this, but there's only so much you can do and it really is a tiny drop in the ocean because you can't force people to read and/or take notice - so to an extent you just have to accept it, carry on being you, not rising to those that send crappy messages (any I get I just delete and don't give a second thought to). Yes, it's a shame, but you won't change a thing, those that don't "get" the site will still keep appearing - contrary to what someone said earlier, they don't spoil my enjoyment of it, or ruin my chances of finding what I am looking for, only I can do that - so just keep on being you and focus on what you are looking for from the site and treat those that send annoying messages with the contempt they deserve is the best bet. Why shouldn't it be in the business of educating/reeducating people? Were all taught jack shit in school. Taught the wrong things in porn. Only know what limited stuff we do through experience. It's not for Fab to tell people how to have sex and who with. I dont see the harm in offering new users advice in some form. Anyway.. we're veering off topic and I don't have any beef with Fab itself We're all different and do things differently.
There is a section called "tips and getting started" it ends with "the rest is up to you"
I actually was taught etiquette type stuff at school but I did go through the education system many years before you.
My parents taught me.. probably explains a lot
Yes there are hints and tips. When I see stuff like that.. I love it. Makes me think Fab may be headed down that route.
As I'm not in the same camp as those who dont want their cavemen 'faking it'.
I think if you teach people, men and women. Then you can change their mindset. Which may may make life a little harder for the current crop of respectful men (competition). I'd also use the site as a soapbox to challenge the views that swinging or casual sex currently have in mord mainstream society. Try and actively boost membership.
Like I said though, we're all different and Fab isn't mine I keep veering off topic with you I repeat.. this isn't fabs problem. I do feel it has the power to help fight it, if it felt so inclined. By giving itself a voice and personality. "Fab's not a sentient being, it does have a voice and personality, that of it's members. Isn't that the nature of discussion, going off topic? Anyway I'll bow out and leave you to it | |||
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"Not been awake long so brain not quite in gear just yet, but one word springs to mind. Selfishness. I also think in a world where parents teach their kids that no means yes after the 50th time of pestering and pleading their case it does nobody any favours. P So men are more selfish on the whole? Or are numbers skewing things? Bit of both? I reckon it's probably more of a numbers thing for the most part, however I think it also comes down to how much the person wants it NOW. On the whole I think men are more likely to do the "horny now, want it now, apply pressure now" thing (out of the cluster of those we're talking about - the strop throwing "fuck your rules and what you want, I'm here for me and my balls want emptying" brigade" ) It's people forgetting or not caring that others have different views/needs/desires/morals etc. I just think some people struggle to differentiate that there are people attached to each profile, not just genitals that "need" sating. Perhaps they aren't used to being told no, whether growing up, in their job, whatever. P You may be right, because for all my etiquette and rhetoric on the forum. I too.. am prone to putting up the odd.. "I'm free now please jump on me" Status. Because the urge is coarsing through me. I don't let that frustration flow into my messages though. I do see women in my local area putting up the same kind of attention attracting statuses for immediate satisfaction though." Absolutely, I've put up meets before as a single and on this profile, I think the difference is what we're wanting though. We still want a meet that meets our preferences and urges, yet some can't see that a penis and a vagina getting together isn't the only box that needs ticking. Because it's the only box THEY need ticking they assume everyone else is the same and simply can't understand why their penis isn't good enough. They take it personally that their manhood is being rejected, because that's how it feels to them. P | |||
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"I lost patience and blocked them. I think there is a large population of developmentally immature and opportunistic people on the site and the responses to feedback and rejection are indicative of this. As for not reading profiles there are plenty on the forum that don’t either- men, women, couples tv/ts’s. The volume of men on here means that the problematic behaviour is going to be much more prevalent from them especially as they tend to be the more direct in their approach. " Another example. Without breaking Fab rules.. and asking a mutual friend to pass it on.. you and I may never have started talking at all. A minor quibble. And like Nicecouple said, and i agree, not top of the to do list, by virtue of how easy it is to get around. If done in non-offensive, non-disrespectful way. | |||
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"I think the school syllabus is finally changing to give boys and girls some education on the dangers of online porn and social media There's a whole generation of kids coming out of school who have been able to access porn from an early age. Can you imagine seeing all the stuff online as your first introduction to sexuality? Porn has a lot to answer for and boys will suffer greatly because of the unrealistic expectations it gives them. Women's sexuality and expression is far too often seen through the male gaze and what men desire. I'm not sure how much Fab is any different to going to a bar on Fri or Sat night and being propositioned by guys but it's quite shocking how few men know how to engage in a conversation without thrusting their cock at you if not immediately, then pretty quickly into the conversation. I think if school system refuses to teach people what they so desperately need to know. Thanks to close minds in wider society. Then there is a space for someone else to provide it. What better place than a site that helps to facilitate the urge in question? Maybe it's just me? My desire go want to help others. I'm no guru, but I do help change perspectives by just talking openly about my experiences. To me the Forum is the greatest sex education tool I've ever used. It has helped me grow in confidence. Make new friends, find new lovers. Provided a place to hangout in an otherwise lonely, boring town in middle of nowhere. I have an urge to "Pass it on". " That's very noble of you, but you know Fab isn't real Genghis ? | |||
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"I think the school syllabus is finally changing to give boys and girls some education on the dangers of online porn and social media There's a whole generation of kids coming out of school who have been able to access porn from an early age. Can you imagine seeing all the stuff online as your first introduction to sexuality? Porn has a lot to answer for and boys will suffer greatly because of the unrealistic expectations it gives them. Women's sexuality and expression is far too often seen through the male gaze and what men desire. I'm not sure how much Fab is any different to going to a bar on Fri or Sat night and being propositioned by guys but it's quite shocking how few men know how to engage in a conversation without thrusting their cock at you if not immediately, then pretty quickly into the conversation. I think if school system refuses to teach people what they so desperately need to know. Thanks to close minds in wider society. Then there is a space for someone else to provide it. What better place than a site that helps to facilitate the urge in question? Maybe it's just me? My desire go want to help others. I'm no guru, but I do help change perspectives by just talking openly about my experiences. To me the Forum is the greatest sex education tool I've ever used. It has helped me grow in confidence. Make new friends, find new lovers. Provided a place to hangout in an otherwise lonely, boring town in middle of nowhere. I have an urge to "Pass it on". " Schools have changed their sex education policy hugely in recent years and are including porn and social media etc according to my daughter and luckily this is ramped up at college/6th form to 16/18 yo. Though surely shouldn't parents be taking at least some responsibility for their children's sex knowledge and education? As a minuscule percentage of the population is on fab then it is the best platform for education of any description, most (including myself) come here for recreation and an extra addition to life! | |||
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"Ultimately though my friend, I think we each as individuals have to deal with it - as Nicecouple said Fab facilitates the ability to meet other likeminded individuals but it really isn't and shouldn't be in the business of educating adults how to behave - likewise we as individual users can pass on the benefit of our experience through forum posts such as this, but there's only so much you can do and it really is a tiny drop in the ocean because you can't force people to read and/or take notice - so to an extent you just have to accept it, carry on being you, not rising to those that send crappy messages (any I get I just delete and don't give a second thought to). Yes, it's a shame, but you won't change a thing, those that don't "get" the site will still keep appearing - contrary to what someone said earlier, they don't spoil my enjoyment of it, or ruin my chances of finding what I am looking for, only I can do that - so just keep on being you and focus on what you are looking for from the site and treat those that send annoying messages with the contempt they deserve is the best bet. Why shouldn't it be in the business of educating/reeducating people? Were all taught jack shit in school. Taught the wrong things in porn. Only know what limited stuff we do through experience. It's not for Fab to tell people how to have sex and who with. I dont see the harm in offering new users advice in some form. Anyway.. we're veering off topic and I don't have any beef with Fab itself We're all different and do things differently.
There is a section called "tips and getting started" it ends with "the rest is up to you"
I actually was taught etiquette type stuff at school but I did go through the education system many years before you.
My parents taught me.. probably explains a lot
Yes there are hints and tips. When I see stuff like that.. I love it. Makes me think Fab may be headed down that route.
As I'm not in the same camp as those who dont want their cavemen 'faking it'.
I think if you teach people, men and women. Then you can change their mindset. Which may may make life a little harder for the current crop of respectful men (competition). I'd also use the site as a soapbox to challenge the views that swinging or casual sex currently have in mord mainstream society. Try and actively boost membership.
Like I said though, we're all different and Fab isn't mine I keep veering off topic with you I repeat.. this isn't fabs problem. I do feel it has the power to help fight it, if it felt so inclined. By giving itself a voice and personality.
Fab's not a sentient being, it does have a voice and personality, that of it's members. Isn't that the nature of discussion, going off topic?
Anyway I'll bow out and leave you to it "Awww.. stay. Yes it is. It's a monstrous love monster.. and should behave as such | |||
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"Not been awake long so brain not quite in gear just yet, but one word springs to mind. Selfishness. I also think in a world where parents teach their kids that no means yes after the 50th time of pestering and pleading their case it does nobody any favours. P So men are more selfish on the whole? Or are numbers skewing things? Bit of both? I reckon it's probably more of a numbers thing for the most part, however I think it also comes down to how much the person wants it NOW. On the whole I think men are more likely to do the "horny now, want it now, apply pressure now" thing (out of the cluster of those we're talking about - the strop throwing "fuck your rules and what you want, I'm here for me and my balls want emptying" brigade" ) It's people forgetting or not caring that others have different views/needs/desires/morals etc. I just think some people struggle to differentiate that there are people attached to each profile, not just genitals that "need" sating. Perhaps they aren't used to being told no, whether growing up, in their job, whatever. P You may be right, because for all my etiquette and rhetoric on the forum. I too.. am prone to putting up the odd.. "I'm free now please jump on me" Status. Because the urge is coarsing through me. I don't let that frustration flow into my messages though. I do see women in my local area putting up the same kind of attention attracting statuses for immediate satisfaction though. Absolutely, I've put up meets before as a single and on this profile, I think the difference is what we're wanting though. We still want a meet that meets our preferences and urges, yet some can't see that a penis and a vagina getting together isn't the only box that needs ticking. Because it's the only box THEY need ticking they assume everyone else is the same and simply can't understand why their penis isn't good enough. They take it personally that their manhood is being rejected, because that's how it feels to them. P " In the words of Meat Loaf "You took the words right out of my mouth" | |||
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"Not been awake long so brain not quite in gear just yet, but one word springs to mind. Selfishness. I also think in a world where parents teach their kids that no means yes after the 50th time of pestering and pleading their case it does nobody any favours. P So men are more selfish on the whole? Or are numbers skewing things? Bit of both? I reckon it's probably more of a numbers thing for the most part, however I think it also comes down to how much the person wants it NOW. On the whole I think men are more likely to do the "horny now, want it now, apply pressure now" thing (out of the cluster of those we're talking about - the strop throwing "fuck your rules and what you want, I'm here for me and my balls want emptying" brigade" ) It's people forgetting or not caring that others have different views/needs/desires/morals etc. I just think some people struggle to differentiate that there are people attached to each profile, not just genitals that "need" sating. Perhaps they aren't used to being told no, whether growing up, in their job, whatever. P You may be right, because for all my etiquette and rhetoric on the forum. I too.. am prone to putting up the odd.. "I'm free now please jump on me" Status. Because the urge is coarsing through me. I don't let that frustration flow into my messages though. I do see women in my local area putting up the same kind of attention attracting statuses for immediate satisfaction though. Absolutely, I've put up meets before as a single and on this profile, I think the difference is what we're wanting though. We still want a meet that meets our preferences and urges, yet some can't see that a penis and a vagina getting together isn't the only box that needs ticking. Because it's the only box THEY need ticking they assume everyone else is the same and simply can't understand why their penis isn't good enough. They take it personally that their manhood is being rejected, because that's how it feels to them. P " Exactly. They have a different approach a different set of needs. I think it's quite patronising when people assume they are doing things right and need to teach others. They are merely different perspectives and should be allowed to do things how they see fit. | |||
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"I think the school syllabus is finally changing to give boys and girls some education on the dangers of online porn and social media There's a whole generation of kids coming out of school who have been able to access porn from an early age. Can you imagine seeing all the stuff online as your first introduction to sexuality? Porn has a lot to answer for and boys will suffer greatly because of the unrealistic expectations it gives them. Women's sexuality and expression is far too often seen through the male gaze and what men desire. I'm not sure how much Fab is any different to going to a bar on Fri or Sat night and being propositioned by guys but it's quite shocking how few men know how to engage in a conversation without thrusting their cock at you if not immediately, then pretty quickly into the conversation. I think if school system refuses to teach people what they so desperately need to know. Thanks to close minds in wider society. Then there is a space for someone else to provide it. What better place than a site that helps to facilitate the urge in question? Maybe it's just me? My desire go want to help others. I'm no guru, but I do help change perspectives by just talking openly about my experiences. To me the Forum is the greatest sex education tool I've ever used. It has helped me grow in confidence. Make new friends, find new lovers. Provided a place to hangout in an otherwise lonely, boring town in middle of nowhere. I have an urge to "Pass it on". That's very noble of you, but you know Fab isn't real Genghis ?" So all the friends I've made arent either? Where is the devastated emoji? | |||
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"I think the school syllabus is finally changing to give boys and girls some education on the dangers of online porn and social media There's a whole generation of kids coming out of school who have been able to access porn from an early age. Can you imagine seeing all the stuff online as your first introduction to sexuality? Porn has a lot to answer for and boys will suffer greatly because of the unrealistic expectations it gives them. Women's sexuality and expression is far too often seen through the male gaze and what men desire. I'm not sure how much Fab is any different to going to a bar on Fri or Sat night and being propositioned by guys but it's quite shocking how few men know how to engage in a conversation without thrusting their cock at you if not immediately, then pretty quickly into the conversation. I think if school system refuses to teach people what they so desperately need to know. Thanks to close minds in wider society. Then there is a space for someone else to provide it. What better place than a site that helps to facilitate the urge in question? Maybe it's just me? My desire go want to help others. I'm no guru, but I do help change perspectives by just talking openly about my experiences. To me the Forum is the greatest sex education tool I've ever used. It has helped me grow in confidence. Make new friends, find new lovers. Provided a place to hangout in an otherwise lonely, boring town in middle of nowhere. I have an urge to "Pass it on". Schools have changed their sex education policy hugely in recent years and are including porn and social media etc according to my daughter and luckily this is ramped up at college/6th form to 16/18 yo. Though surely shouldn't parents be taking at least some responsibility for their children's sex knowledge and education? As a minuscule percentage of the population is on fab then it is the best platform for education of any description, most (including myself) come here for recreation and an extra addition to life! " Parents.. individuals.. schools.. peer groups and any site/group they use all really should be taking a bit of responsibility to improve things. In me humblest.. | |||
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"I think the school syllabus is finally changing to give boys and girls some education on the dangers of online porn and social media There's a whole generation of kids coming out of school who have been able to access porn from an early age. Can you imagine seeing all the stuff online as your first introduction to sexuality? Porn has a lot to answer for and boys will suffer greatly because of the unrealistic expectations it gives them. Women's sexuality and expression is far too often seen through the male gaze and what men desire. I'm not sure how much Fab is any different to going to a bar on Fri or Sat night and being propositioned by guys but it's quite shocking how few men know how to engage in a conversation without thrusting their cock at you if not immediately, then pretty quickly into the conversation. I think if school system refuses to teach people what they so desperately need to know. Thanks to close minds in wider society. Then there is a space for someone else to provide it. What better place than a site that helps to facilitate the urge in question? Maybe it's just me? My desire go want to help others. I'm no guru, but I do help change perspectives by just talking openly about my experiences. To me the Forum is the greatest sex education tool I've ever used. It has helped me grow in confidence. Make new friends, find new lovers. Provided a place to hangout in an otherwise lonely, boring town in middle of nowhere. I have an urge to "Pass it on". Schools have changed their sex education policy hugely in recent years and are including porn and social media etc according to my daughter and luckily this is ramped up at college/6th form to 16/18 yo. Though surely shouldn't parents be taking at least some responsibility for their children's sex knowledge and education? As a minuscule percentage of the population is on fab then it is the best platform for education of any description, most (including myself) come here for recreation and an extra addition to life! " I assume most responsible parents do try to talk to their teenagers but from my own experience, having those kinds of talks elicits more that a few eyerolls -much better coming from school and an educational setting and always preferable to anything they learn online or from friends | |||
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"I think a lot can be answered by "Men blinded so much by their little brain" - however one other thought that has two angles - firstly is it simply down to volumes of men compared to other categories that it's more noticeable? i.e. if there were an equal number of men, women, couples, TVs etc would that mean a more even spread of that kind of message, or is it simply because of the number difference that some men are driven to more desperate measures driven by desperation? I *do* think that the difference between men and women comes into it to an extent too - men are, by nature, more carnal beasts and as such more likely to be a lot more direct, especially having seen the "sex site" flashing lights, and therefore think that because it's a sex site that the streets of Fab are lined with sex without understanding the finer nuances that are required. Tbh, men and women brain wise aren't actually all that different, physicality? Yes but our brains are more similar than a lot of people think. It's more about conditioning and porn imo. I think the same. Think vastly different suicide rates in men and women is a symptom to social conditioning. " Agreed 100% | |||
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"Most situations on here are reactive to pictures only. ie views, number of messages, type of messages, how many of those people read your profile is linked to the pictures and also the thought put into that message. Maybe this is due to most guys being visual creatures. Because I keep most my clothes on or are covered I dont find I get the abusive messages, most guys say thanks for the reply and all is good. I've noticed that when I've done topless pictures all this changes and I'm sure it's due to views. The thought process seems to go into there trousers. There are many other filters which help. Not verified,newbies,no public photos on profile and not a site supporter. I use them all maybe you should try that. I find couples to be lovely and females dont message me very often. I think maybe you should try the extra filters OP. "So you're saying I should cover up? Block non-site supporters like myself? Block people who are new and a bit shy to start off with? Block all men for the sake of the majority of messages I get? (i do this often as a last resort, or lack of patience). It's my fault I'm getting sent shit? | |||
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"Not been awake long so brain not quite in gear just yet, but one word springs to mind. Selfishness. I also think in a world where parents teach their kids that no means yes after the 50th time of pestering and pleading their case it does nobody any favours. P So men are more selfish on the whole? Or are numbers skewing things? Bit of both? I reckon it's probably more of a numbers thing for the most part, however I think it also comes down to how much the person wants it NOW. On the whole I think men are more likely to do the "horny now, want it now, apply pressure now" thing (out of the cluster of those we're talking about - the strop throwing "fuck your rules and what you want, I'm here for me and my balls want emptying" brigade" ) It's people forgetting or not caring that others have different views/needs/desires/morals etc. I just think some people struggle to differentiate that there are people attached to each profile, not just genitals that "need" sating. Perhaps they aren't used to being told no, whether growing up, in their job, whatever. P You may be right, because for all my etiquette and rhetoric on the forum. I too.. am prone to putting up the odd.. "I'm free now please jump on me" Status. Because the urge is coarsing through me. I don't let that frustration flow into my messages though. I do see women in my local area putting up the same kind of attention attracting statuses for immediate satisfaction though. Absolutely, I've put up meets before as a single and on this profile, I think the difference is what we're wanting though. We still want a meet that meets our preferences and urges, yet some can't see that a penis and a vagina getting together isn't the only box that needs ticking. Because it's the only box THEY need ticking they assume everyone else is the same and simply can't understand why their penis isn't good enough. They take it personally that their manhood is being rejected, because that's how it feels to them. P Exactly. They have a different approach a different set of needs. I think it's quite patronising when people assume they are doing things right and need to teach others. They are merely different perspectives and should be allowed to do things how they see fit. " Sorry if I made you feel that way. God forbid anyone needed teaching anything in life. | |||
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"I think the school syllabus is finally changing to give boys and girls some education on the dangers of online porn and social media There's a whole generation of kids coming out of school who have been able to access porn from an early age. Can you imagine seeing all the stuff online as your first introduction to sexuality? Porn has a lot to answer for and boys will suffer greatly because of the unrealistic expectations it gives them. Women's sexuality and expression is far too often seen through the male gaze and what men desire. I'm not sure how much Fab is any different to going to a bar on Fri or Sat night and being propositioned by guys but it's quite shocking how few men know how to engage in a conversation without thrusting their cock at you if not immediately, then pretty quickly into the conversation. I think if school system refuses to teach people what they so desperately need to know. Thanks to close minds in wider society. Then there is a space for someone else to provide it. What better place than a site that helps to facilitate the urge in question? Maybe it's just me? My desire go want to help others. I'm no guru, but I do help change perspectives by just talking openly about my experiences. To me the Forum is the greatest sex education tool I've ever used. It has helped me grow in confidence. Make new friends, find new lovers. Provided a place to hangout in an otherwise lonely, boring town in middle of nowhere. I have an urge to "Pass it on". That's very noble of you, but you know Fab isn't real Genghis ? So all the friends I've made arent either? Where is the devastated emoji?"Then you're a better person then me and I'm sure you have very good friends from Fab x | |||
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"Blimey Charlie I've just dropped my man block , my views have gone up ha ha oh my dainty ego " | |||
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"Most situations on here are reactive to pictures only. ie views, number of messages, type of messages, how many of those people read your profile is linked to the pictures and also the thought put into that message. Maybe this is due to most guys being visual creatures. Because I keep most my clothes on or are covered I dont find I get the abusive messages, most guys say thanks for the reply and all is good. I've noticed that when I've done topless pictures all this changes and I'm sure it's due to views. The thought process seems to go into there trousers. There are many other filters which help. Not verified,newbies,no public photos on profile and not a site supporter. I use them all maybe you should try that. I find couples to be lovely and females dont message me very often. I think maybe you should try the extra filters OP.
So you're saying I should cover up?
Block non-site supporters like myself?
Block people who are new and a bit shy to start off with?
Block all men for the sake of the majority of messages I get? (i do this often as a last resort, or lack of patience).
It's my fault I'm getting sent shit?
"I never said that did I. All I'm saying is from my own experience the above has helped. Yes of course there be people who cant message you but I'm sure you'll find them yourself. | |||
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" Sorry if I made you feel that way. God forbid anyone needed teaching anything in life. " I didn't say people don't need educating. I don't think that a vigilante approach on this site is appropriate. | |||
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"I think the school syllabus is finally changing to give boys and girls some education on the dangers of online porn and social media There's a whole generation of kids coming out of school who have been able to access porn from an early age. Can you imagine seeing all the stuff online as your first introduction to sexuality? Porn has a lot to answer for and boys will suffer greatly because of the unrealistic expectations it gives them. Women's sexuality and expression is far too often seen through the male gaze and what men desire. I'm not sure how much Fab is any different to going to a bar on Fri or Sat night and being propositioned by guys but it's quite shocking how few men know how to engage in a conversation without thrusting their cock at you if not immediately, then pretty quickly into the conversation. I think if school system refuses to teach people what they so desperately need to know. Thanks to close minds in wider society. Then there is a space for someone else to provide it. What better place than a site that helps to facilitate the urge in question? Maybe it's just me? My desire go want to help others. I'm no guru, but I do help change perspectives by just talking openly about my experiences. To me the Forum is the greatest sex education tool I've ever used. It has helped me grow in confidence. Make new friends, find new lovers. Provided a place to hangout in an otherwise lonely, boring town in middle of nowhere. I have an urge to "Pass it on". That's very noble of you, but you know Fab isn't real Genghis ? So all the friends I've made arent either? Where is the devastated emoji?
Then you're a better person then me and I'm sure you have very good friends from Fab x"I doubt I am. Just hung round here long enough to count a few of them as friends. Even though its largely remotely. I tend to make friends with the people I eventually meet though. Being honest and intimate with each other semi regularly tends to breed it. So I'd be devastated to find out it's all bullshit. | |||
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" Sorry if I made you feel that way. God forbid anyone needed teaching anything in life. I didn't say people don't need educating. I don't think that a vigilante approach on this site is appropriate. " The best educators live by example and teach by showing not by just teaching ... | |||
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" Sorry if I made you feel that way. God forbid anyone needed teaching anything in life. I didn't say people don't need educating. I don't think that a vigilante approach on this site is appropriate. " Well for record. I dont think my way is right and yours is wrong. I dont think I'm an expert, but I'm no longer an amateur. I only give advice if its asked for, which is usually rooted around what's best for the other persons happiness. I'm sure there's no harm in Fab taking a similar stance. Teaching some Billy basics. In a non patronising way. Sincerely sorry if I come off in that way. I don't mean to. | |||
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" Sorry if I made you feel that way. God forbid anyone needed teaching anything in life. I didn't say people don't need educating. I don't think that a vigilante approach on this site is appropriate. Well for record. I dont think my way is right and yours is wrong. I dont think I'm an expert, but I'm no longer an amateur. I only give advice if its asked for, which is usually rooted around what's best for the other persons happiness. I'm sure there's no harm in Fab taking a similar stance. Teaching some Billy basics. In a non patronising way. Sincerely sorry if I come off in that way. I don't mean to. " That's how I read it. No need to apologise. I'm just saying it as I see it. Just as you are. I just think it's wasted effort. Even those that ask for advice on the forum tend to ignore it! | |||
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" Sorry if I made you feel that way. God forbid anyone needed teaching anything in life. I didn't say people don't need educating. I don't think that a vigilante approach on this site is appropriate. Well for record. I dont think my way is right and yours is wrong. I dont think I'm an expert, but I'm no longer an amateur. I only give advice if its asked for, which is usually rooted around what's best for the other persons happiness. I'm sure there's no harm in Fab taking a similar stance. Teaching some Billy basics. In a non patronising way. Sincerely sorry if I come off in that way. I don't mean to. That's how I read it. No need to apologise. I'm just saying it as I see it. Just as you are. I just think it's wasted effort. Even those that ask for advice on the forum tend to ignore it!" I didn't. I paid close attention to the advice some prominent, still active forumites gave. I've learnt from P, Gemini and Witchdoctor on other more personal things. I learn from people I fight with. But yes, you're right, it often goes ignored by those who need it most. | |||
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" Sorry if I made you feel that way. God forbid anyone needed teaching anything in life. I didn't say people don't need educating. I don't think that a vigilante approach on this site is appropriate. Well for record. I dont think my way is right and yours is wrong. I dont think I'm an expert, but I'm no longer an amateur. I only give advice if its asked for, which is usually rooted around what's best for the other persons happiness. I'm sure there's no harm in Fab taking a similar stance. Teaching some Billy basics. In a non patronising way. Sincerely sorry if I come off in that way. I don't mean to. That's how I read it. No need to apologise. I'm just saying it as I see it. Just as you are. I just think it's wasted effort. Even those that ask for advice on the forum tend to ignore it!" "As YOU THINK I am". | |||
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"There are options that are used for our own benefit and to make our own experiences of fab perhaps more what we want them to be OP. No matter what our own views of anothers behaviour on fab,or elsewhere, may be changing another's behaviour to fit our own world view of how others should behave is often beyond our individual capabilities, and assumes that others want to change to meet our own perceived social norms. That's highly unlikely to happen unless those others wish to change. Perhaps that which we can't change we simply accept, or if unable to accept find ways to step outside of such issues. Then no "rant" is required, we simply live our own lives interact with those we wish to, and take steps, whatever they may be, to avoid those that do not fit within what we perceive is acceptable to us in all aspects of out lives?" That's one way of looking at things. Not mine. I'm not happy with things being the way they are.. not a good enough answer for me. I'll refer back to something else I said earlier to NiceCouple. I dont want to change Fab, its not my place to do so. I'm being hypothetical. Whilst questioning why someone chooses to behave in a certain way towards me. Yes there are tools, but as many say, the tools aren't adequate for everyone. | |||
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"You're all just dots and lines on a page. I can't really get that worked up about it. Some folk are idiots and some are golden. Ignore the former and embrace the latter Or don't - it's up to you " I do. Usually. I don't see harm in talking about all this though. Some messages sent and sheer volume of likeminded ones do deserve breaking down and not just swept under the carpet. I think it's all part of a much bigger picture of a very fractured and broken society on many levels. That's where my main interest in all this is.. The sexual and inter-personal ignorance being a mere symptom. | |||
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"You're all just dots and lines on a page. I can't really get that worked up about it. Some folk are idiots and some are golden. Ignore the former and embrace the latter Or don't - it's up to you I do. Usually. I don't see harm in talking about all this though. Some messages sent and sheer volume of likeminded ones do deserve breaking down and not just swept under the carpet. I think it's all part of a much bigger picture of a very fractured and broken society on many levels. That's where my main interest in all this is.. The sexual and inter-personal ignorance being a mere symptom. " Now that you've broken it down here, what are you going to do about it? How are you going to help solve the problem? | |||
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"Just a thought, does the rise in the use of, and changes in the nature of porn give men a more entitled outlook? " I think some men have always been like this. It's just now we talk about it more openly | |||
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"There are options that are used for our own benefit and to make our own experiences of fab perhaps more what we want them to be OP. No matter what our own views of anothers behaviour on fab,or elsewhere, may be changing another's behaviour to fit our own world view of how others should behave is often beyond our individual capabilities, and assumes that others want to change to meet our own perceived social norms. That's highly unlikely to happen unless those others wish to change. Perhaps that which we can't change we simply accept, or if unable to accept find ways to step outside of such issues. Then no "rant" is required, we simply live our own lives interact with those we wish to, and take steps, whatever they may be, to avoid those that do not fit within what we perceive is acceptable to us in all aspects of out lives? That's one way of looking at things. Not mine. I'm not happy with things being the way they are.. not a good enough answer for me. I'll refer back to something else I said earlier to NiceCouple. I dont want to change Fab, its not my place to do so. I'm being hypothetical. Whilst questioning why someone chooses to behave in a certain way towards me. Yes there are tools, but as many say, the tools aren't adequate for everyone. " We almost all question at times why others behave in the way they do. Those questions are predicated on our own life experiences. We can never get fully in the mind of another, we have not lived their lives. Nor can we change those others, they have to do that for themselves. That leaves a choice of changing how we are and live, whilst trying our best to understand others, or whilst accepting all people are different and accepting that, maybe being open enough to others, if they are similarly open, that we communicate our own views and allow others to choose their own path. Change often comes slowly, societal change sometimes much slower still.. | |||
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"People often say the crappy men don't spoil it for the genuine ones, but I think they do. I agree with everything in the OP. Caveman mentality maybe. "Want sex ... fuck now? You're online and turned me down? WTF?????"" Exactly this. Some people just can't take rejection (male or female). A guy last weekend sent me 5 messages while I was offline saying how sexy he thought I was loved my pics etc. I logged on and said a polite no thank you. He messaged back saying "on second thoughts you are too fat and ugly for me anyway"!! Then blocked me! Yes these guys do spoil it for the good ones. | |||
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"I think the school syllabus is finally changing to give boys and girls some education on the dangers of online porn and social media There's a whole generation of kids coming out of school who have been able to access porn from an early age. Can you imagine seeing all the stuff online as your first introduction to sexuality? Porn has a lot to answer for and boys will suffer greatly because of the unrealistic expectations it gives them. Women's sexuality and expression is far too often seen through the male gaze and what men desire. I'm not sure how much Fab is any different to going to a bar on Fri or Sat night and being propositioned by guys but it's quite shocking how few men know how to engage in a conversation without thrusting their cock at you if not immediately, then pretty quickly into the conversation. I think if school system refuses to teach people what they so desperately need to know. Thanks to close minds in wider society. Then there is a space for someone else to provide it. What better place than a site that helps to facilitate the urge in question? Maybe it's just me? My desire go want to help others. I'm no guru, but I do help change perspectives by just talking openly about my experiences. To me the Forum is the greatest sex education tool I've ever used. It has helped me grow in confidence. Make new friends, find new lovers. Provided a place to hangout in an otherwise lonely, boring town in middle of nowhere. I have an urge to "Pass it on". Schools have changed their sex education policy hugely in recent years and are including porn and social media etc according to my daughter and luckily this is ramped up at college/6th form to 16/18 yo. Though surely shouldn't parents be taking at least some responsibility for their children's sex knowledge and education? As a minuscule percentage of the population is on fab then it is the best platform for education of any description, most (including myself) come here for recreation and an extra addition to life! " I think sex education is better from a 'stranger'. It's awkward being a teenager. Talking about sex with parents is awful at any age. I agree the forum is great for sex ed.  | |||
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) everything as a family and with each other. | |||
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"You're all just dots and lines on a page. I can't really get that worked up about it. Some folk are idiots and some are golden. Ignore the former and embrace the latter Or don't - it's up to you I do. Usually. I don't see harm in talking about all this though. Some messages sent and sheer volume of likeminded ones do deserve breaking down and not just swept under the carpet. I think it's all part of a much bigger picture of a very fractured and broken society on many levels. That's where my main interest in all this is.. The sexual and inter-personal ignorance being a mere symptom. Now that you've broken it down here, what are you going to do about it? How are you going to help solve the problem?" By continuing to be myself. Do it the way I do it. Talking openly in the forum. I'm in no position to fo anything else with the resources I dont have. | |||
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"There are options that are used for our own benefit and to make our own experiences of fab perhaps more what we want them to be OP. No matter what our own views of anothers behaviour on fab,or elsewhere, may be changing another's behaviour to fit our own world view of how others should behave is often beyond our individual capabilities, and assumes that others want to change to meet our own perceived social norms. That's highly unlikely to happen unless those others wish to change. Perhaps that which we can't change we simply accept, or if unable to accept find ways to step outside of such issues. Then no "rant" is required, we simply live our own lives interact with those we wish to, and take steps, whatever they may be, to avoid those that do not fit within what we perceive is acceptable to us in all aspects of out lives? That's one way of looking at things. Not mine. I'm not happy with things being the way they are.. not a good enough answer for me. I'll refer back to something else I said earlier to NiceCouple. I dont want to change Fab, its not my place to do so. I'm being hypothetical. Whilst questioning why someone chooses to behave in a certain way towards me. Yes there are tools, but as many say, the tools aren't adequate for everyone. We almost all question at times why others behave in the way they do. Those questions are predicated on our own life experiences. We can never get fully in the mind of another, we have not lived their lives. Nor can we change those others, they have to do that for themselves. That leaves a choice of changing how we are and live, whilst trying our best to understand others, or whilst accepting all people are different and accepting that, maybe being open enough to others, if they are similarly open, that we communicate our own views and allow others to choose their own path. Change often comes slowly, societal change sometimes much slower still.. " Societal change can happen overnight or in one generation. It's happening now in quicktime on an hourly basis. Any study of social media and political influence could tell you that. It's happened before in history and will happen again. It's like someone said before.. difference is it's out in open and we're talking about it. There are some behaviours that are wholly unacceptable to the majority because they effect other people. Nobody has the right to judge what two consenting adults do for pleasure in their own privacy. We do if their pleasures and perversion seep into our lives through no request of our own. If someone was rude to me in the street. I'd react, wouldn't just meekly skulk off and brush it off to "people are people". Why not online occasionally? | |||
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" And to suggest that guys that use the forum behave in a more socially acceptable way just amuses me. The great forum elite "If only that applied in the Scottish forum too | |||
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"You're all just dots and lines on a page. I can't really get that worked up about it. Some folk are idiots and some are golden. Ignore the former and embrace the latter Or don't - it's up to you I do. Usually. I don't see harm in talking about all this though. Some messages sent and sheer volume of likeminded ones do deserve breaking down and not just swept under the carpet. I think it's all part of a much bigger picture of a very fractured and broken society on many levels. That's where my main interest in all this is.. The sexual and inter-personal ignorance being a mere symptom. Now that you've broken it down here, what are you going to do about it? How are you going to help solve the problem? By continuing to be myself. Do it the way I do it. Talking openly in the forum. I'm in no position to fo anything else with the resources I dont have. " Ah OK - whinge to the less than 5% that use the forum about the 95% that don't Gotcha | |||
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"People (usually women and couples) often block people (usually men) who are being complete twats, but does anyone ever use the report option? And does Fab do anything about it? " ive report abusive/vile messages whete the person wants to physically hurt me no idea of outcome | |||
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"People (usually women and couples) often block people (usually men) who are being complete twats, but does anyone ever use the report option? And does Fab do anything about it? ive report abusive/vile messages whete the person wants to physically hurt me no idea of outcome" It's terrible that people feel the need to act this way  | |||
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"You're all just dots and lines on a page. I can't really get that worked up about it. Some folk are idiots and some are golden. Ignore the former and embrace the latter Or don't - it's up to you I do. Usually. I don't see harm in talking about all this though. Some messages sent and sheer volume of likeminded ones do deserve breaking down and not just swept under the carpet. I think it's all part of a much bigger picture of a very fractured and broken society on many levels. That's where my main interest in all this is.. The sexual and inter-personal ignorance being a mere symptom. Now that you've broken it down here, what are you going to do about it? How are you going to help solve the problem? By continuing to be myself. Do it the way I do it. Talking openly in the forum. I'm in no position to fo anything else with the resources I dont have. Ah OK - whinge to the less than 5% that use the forum about the 95% that don't Gotcha "... whatever.. | |||
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"People (usually women and couples) often block people (usually men) who are being complete twats, but does anyone ever use the report option? And does Fab do anything about it? ive report abusive/vile messages whete the person wants to physically hurt me no idea of outcome" Same here, no wish to know what happens | |||
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"You're all just dots and lines on a page. I can't really get that worked up about it. Some folk are idiots and some are golden. Ignore the former and embrace the latter Or don't - it's up to you I do. Usually. I don't see harm in talking about all this though. Some messages sent and sheer volume of likeminded ones do deserve breaking down and not just swept under the carpet. I think it's all part of a much bigger picture of a very fractured and broken society on many levels. That's where my main interest in all this is.. The sexual and inter-personal ignorance being a mere symptom. Now that you've broken it down here, what are you going to do about it? How are you going to help solve the problem?" It isn't actually his responsibility to do that, the question you asked tells a lot more about you though. | |||
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"It's because a lot of men (not all) come on here solely when they have blue balls and consequently arent thinking normally. And porn, porn has a lot to answer for. To be honest I think a lot see this as some kind of interactive porn site where the models aren't some kind of glossy surgically enhanced glamorous babe but the girl next door - and therefore "think" they are more attainable Perhaps there should be an IQ test when setting up a profile and the all users can be graded and communication only allowed within similar groups. It’s never going to happen, but my god would it be interesting lol Happy fabbing ooooh I think I may be very disappointed if that happens. I'm attracted to intelligence.. not as intelligent as I think I am though
I know this feeling. Had to correct some spelling on my own profile this morning .
I'll see you in the C- group then? "Marking my homework? Am I going to have to start calling you Mr Khan? | |||
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"I think the school syllabus is finally changing to give boys and girls some education on the dangers of online porn and social media There's a whole generation of kids coming out of school who have been able to access porn from an early age. Can you imagine seeing all the stuff online as your first introduction to sexuality? Porn has a lot to answer for and boys will suffer greatly because of the unrealistic expectations it gives them. Women's sexuality and expression is far too often seen through the male gaze and what men desire. I'm not sure how much Fab is any different to going to a bar on Fri or Sat night and being propositioned by guys but it's quite shocking how few men know how to engage in a conversation without thrusting their cock at you if not immediately, then pretty quickly into the conversation. I think if school system refuses to teach people what they so desperately need to know. Thanks to close minds in wider society. Then there is a space for someone else to provide it. What better place than a site that helps to facilitate the urge in question? Maybe it's just me? My desire go want to help others. I'm no guru, but I do help change perspectives by just talking openly about my experiences. To me the Forum is the greatest sex education tool I've ever used. It has helped me grow in confidence. Make new friends, find new lovers. Provided a place to hangout in an otherwise lonely, boring town in middle of nowhere. I have an urge to "Pass it on". That's very noble of you, but you know Fab isn't real Genghis ?" I always knew I was someone's imaginary friend really. Whoever it was has a shit imagination though. | |||
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"I think the school syllabus is finally changing to give boys and girls some education on the dangers of online porn and social media There's a whole generation of kids coming out of school who have been able to access porn from an early age. Can you imagine seeing all the stuff online as your first introduction to sexuality? Porn has a lot to answer for and boys will suffer greatly because of the unrealistic expectations it gives them. Women's sexuality and expression is far too often seen through the male gaze and what men desire. I'm not sure how much Fab is any different to going to a bar on Fri or Sat night and being propositioned by guys but it's quite shocking how few men know how to engage in a conversation without thrusting their cock at you if not immediately, then pretty quickly into the conversation. I think if school system refuses to teach people what they so desperately need to know. Thanks to close minds in wider society. Then there is a space for someone else to provide it. What better place than a site that helps to facilitate the urge in question? Maybe it's just me? My desire go want to help others. I'm no guru, but I do help change perspectives by just talking openly about my experiences. To me the Forum is the greatest sex education tool I've ever used. It has helped me grow in confidence. Make new friends, find new lovers. Provided a place to hangout in an otherwise lonely, boring town in middle of nowhere. I have an urge to "Pass it on". Schools have changed their sex education policy hugely in recent years and are including porn and social media etc according to my daughter and luckily this is ramped up at college/6th form to 16/18 yo. Though surely shouldn't parents be taking at least some responsibility for their children's sex knowledge and education? As a minuscule percentage of the population is on fab then it is the best platform for education of any description, most (including myself) come here for recreation and an extra addition to life! " In an ideal world yes parents should educate their children well when it comes to sex and relationships. Unfortunatley some people like myself had a parent who could barely talk to you about periods, nevermind sex. That's where I feel it is good to have lessons in schools so kids are on a more level playing field rather than some being taught well and others being taught poorly or not at all. It also exposes them to different attitudes so that they don't blimey adopt the attitudes and beliefs of their parents, some of which could be harmful. I get the point about only a small percentage of society being on fab but only a small percentage of society are active in the kink community but it still has some of the best resources and discussions I have ever seen on consent, boundaries and healthier and more successful ways to seek the play we want. I do believe these things filter out a little as people don't exist only in one isolated sphere in life. Also we have to start somewhere no? | |||
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"People often say the crappy men don't spoil it for the genuine ones, but I think they do. I agree with everything in the OP. Caveman mentality maybe. "Want sex ... fuck now? You're online and turned me down? WTF?????" Exactly this. Some people just can't take rejection (male or female). A guy last weekend sent me 5 messages while I was offline saying how sexy he thought I was loved my pics etc. I logged on and said a polite no thank you. He messaged back saying "on second thoughts you are too fat and ugly for me anyway"!! Then blocked me! Yes these guys do spoil it for the good ones. " I think it was a woman using a fake profile | |||
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""Schools have changed their sex education policy hugely in recent years and are including porn and social media etc according to my daughter and luckily this is ramped up at college/6th form to 16/18 yo. Though surely shouldn't parents be taking at least some responsibility for their children's sex knowledge and education? As a minuscule percentage of the population is on fab then it is the best platform for education of any description, most (including myself) come here for recreation and an extra addition to life! " I think sex education is better from a 'stranger'. It's awkward being a teenager. Talking about sex with parents is awful at any age." I've always been lucky (phew) we can, and do, talk about literally anything and (sometimes unfortunately ) everything as a family and with each other. "I think this is lovely. Obviously there's a line but I've talked about sex with my dad. My dad knows that I'm bisexual and that I'm Poly. My mum on the other hand almost has an aneurysm talking about me being on the pill... | |||
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"It's because a lot of men (not all) come on here solely when they have blue balls and consequently arent thinking normally. And porn, porn has a lot to answer for. To be honest I think a lot see this as some kind of interactive porn site where the models aren't some kind of glossy surgically enhanced glamorous babe but the girl next door - and therefore "think" they are more attainable Perhaps there should be an IQ test when setting up a profile and the all users can be graded and communication only allowed within similar groups. It’s never going to happen, but my god would it be interesting lol Happy fabbing ooooh I think I may be very disappointed if that happens. I'm attracted to intelligence.. not as intelligent as I think I am though
I know this feeling. Had to correct some spelling on my own profile this morning .
I'll see you in the C- group then?
Marking my homework? Am I going to have to start calling you Mr Khan? "Only if I get to call you "girl" | |||
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"I think the school syllabus is finally changing to give boys and girls some education on the dangers of online porn and social media There's a whole generation of kids coming out of school who have been able to access porn from an early age. Can you imagine seeing all the stuff online as your first introduction to sexuality? Porn has a lot to answer for and boys will suffer greatly because of the unrealistic expectations it gives them. Women's sexuality and expression is far too often seen through the male gaze and what men desire. I'm not sure how much Fab is any different to going to a bar on Fri or Sat night and being propositioned by guys but it's quite shocking how few men know how to engage in a conversation without thrusting their cock at you if not immediately, then pretty quickly into the conversation. I think if school system refuses to teach people what they so desperately need to know. Thanks to close minds in wider society. Then there is a space for someone else to provide it. What better place than a site that helps to facilitate the urge in question? Maybe it's just me? My desire go want to help others. I'm no guru, but I do help change perspectives by just talking openly about my experiences. To me the Forum is the greatest sex education tool I've ever used. It has helped me grow in confidence. Make new friends, find new lovers. Provided a place to hangout in an otherwise lonely, boring town in middle of nowhere. I have an urge to "Pass it on". Schools have changed their sex education policy hugely in recent years and are including porn and social media etc according to my daughter and luckily this is ramped up at college/6th form to 16/18 yo. Though surely shouldn't parents be taking at least some responsibility for their children's sex knowledge and education? As a minuscule percentage of the population is on fab then it is the best platform for education of any description, most (including myself) come here for recreation and an extra addition to life! In an ideal world yes parents should educate their children well when it comes to sex and relationships. Unfortunatley some people like myself had a parent who could barely talk to you about periods, nevermind sex. That's where I feel it is good to have lessons in schools so kids are on a more level playing field rather than some being taught well and others being taught poorly or not at all. It also exposes them to different attitudes so that they don't blimey adopt the attitudes and beliefs of their parents, some of which could be harmful. I get the point about only a small percentage of society being on fab but only a small percentage of society are active in the kink community but it still has some of the best resources and discussions I have ever seen on consent, boundaries and healthier and more successful ways to seek the play we want. I do believe these things filter out a little as people don't exist only in one isolated sphere in life. Also we have to start somewhere no?" This. | |||
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"Well I think "why don't ***** read profiles" has been asked before, normally by couples or single ladies.. usual responses berating guys inability to read cos' they're horny have folliwed. Have you asked them op.. in reality the only person messaging outwith your preferences can answer., everyone else is make an assumption or a guess. When I've had my filters down I've had messages from guys and couples not what I'm looking for so I delete.. as yet I've not had any abuse from those folks." Again.. Someone saying I'm the one who needs to alter my behaviour? Use the tools presented. Behave a certain way. Why not do something about the problem. Rather than looking for solutions to plaster it over with? | |||
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"Well I think "why don't ***** read profiles" has been asked before, normally by couples or single ladies.. usual responses berating guys inability to read cos' they're horny have folliwed. Have you asked them op.. in reality the only person messaging outwith your preferences can answer., everyone else is make an assumption or a guess. When I've had my filters down I've had messages from guys and couples not what I'm looking for so I delete.. as yet I've not had any abuse from those folks. Again.. Someone saying I'm the one who needs to alter my behaviour? Use the tools presented. Behave a certain way. Why not do something about the problem. Rather than looking for solutions to plaster it over with?" Because we are ultimately only responsible for ourselves not others? | |||
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"Well I think "why don't ***** read profiles" has been asked before, normally by couples or single ladies.. usual responses berating guys inability to read cos' they're horny have folliwed. Have you asked them op.. in reality the only person messaging outwith your preferences can answer., everyone else is make an assumption or a guess. When I've had my filters down I've had messages from guys and couples not what I'm looking for so I delete.. as yet I've not had any abuse from those folks. Again.. Someone saying I'm the one who needs to alter my behaviour? Use the tools presented. Behave a certain way. Why not do something about the problem. Rather than looking for solutions to plaster it over with?" You won't be able to control how other people behave on here, but it's perfectly within your control to block those you don't want contacting you to save the abuse | |||
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"Well I think "why don't ***** read profiles" has been asked before, normally by couples or single ladies.. usual responses berating guys inability to read cos' they're horny have folliwed. Have you asked them op.. in reality the only person messaging outwith your preferences can answer., everyone else is make an assumption or a guess. When I've had my filters down I've had messages from guys and couples not what I'm looking for so I delete.. as yet I've not had any abuse from those folks. Again.. Someone saying I'm the one who needs to alter my behaviour? Use the tools presented. Behave a certain way. Why not do something about the problem. Rather than looking for solutions to plaster it over with? Because we are ultimately only responsible for ourselves not others? " I don't see things that way. If that were the case.. why do we have public services? Normal life isn't anarchistic. | |||
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"Well I think "why don't ***** read profiles" has been asked before, normally by couples or single ladies.. usual responses berating guys inability to read cos' they're horny have folliwed. Have you asked them op.. in reality the only person messaging outwith your preferences can answer., everyone else is make an assumption or a guess. When I've had my filters down I've had messages from guys and couples not what I'm looking for so I delete.. as yet I've not had any abuse from those folks. Again.. Someone saying I'm the one who needs to alter my behaviour? Use the tools presented. Behave a certain way. Why not do something about the problem. Rather than looking for solutions to plaster it over with? You won't be able to control how other people behave on here, but it's perfectly within your control to block those you don't want contacting you to save the abuse " By blocking the group responsible, I have to block many who arent. | |||
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"Well I think "why don't ***** read profiles" has been asked before, normally by couples or single ladies.. usual responses berating guys inability to read cos' they're horny have folliwed. Have you asked them op.. in reality the only person messaging outwith your preferences can answer., everyone else is make an assumption or a guess. When I've had my filters down I've had messages from guys and couples not what I'm looking for so I delete.. as yet I've not had any abuse from those folks. Again.. Someone saying I'm the one who needs to alter my behaviour? Use the tools presented. Behave a certain way. Why not do something about the problem. Rather than looking for solutions to plaster it over with? You won't be able to control how other people behave on here, but it's perfectly within your control to block those you don't want contacting you to save the abuse By blocking the group responsible, I have to block many who arent. " Since you seem hellbent on not acting on any of the suggestions people have made, I can only assume it's not something that really bothers you that much, so why the thread? | |||
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"Currently my communication filters are open to everyone. I'd like to keep it that way if possible.. but I'm already getting annoyed. Whatever I put on my profile.. e.g. "Not looking to meet men" (even if it's at the top of my profile). Falls on deaf ears. Men blinded so much by their little brain, that they dont even read the profile of the person they're sending it to. No attempt to see if the big brains might connect. When I point out, men "aren't what I'm looking for" It descends into an argument about me being bi. Asking me to justify how I can be bi, but not looking for blokes. Then they get a bit insulting, or worse crack on cracking on regardless. Women don't do this. I've yet to come across one female profile who has messaged outside my prefererance ranges (when they're displayed). Never had a female, or TV/TS profile react in any way other than a positive, polite goodbye - IF I've politely declined their advances. First messages are never sexual or pornographic, always friendly and respectful. Very few couples profiles follow the man pattern, but its more prevalent than Female or TV/TS community on here. In my experience, I have to assume it's the Male half I'm talking to. Is it porn? Is it narcissism? So wrapped up in what they want, what they need? Repressed? So lost in desire and desperation that they can only focus on the one thing? Less emotional creatures with no care or respect for other people? Stupidity? Lack of emotional intelligence? I'm a man. I don't act like that. It'd be nice if we could set up different communication filters in the forum than wider Fab. I suspect the majority of longer term forum men are a little wiser, little more respectful and a little more aware of who they're talking with.. than the Fab Horde. Thoughts on any of that? Explanations? Suggestions? Answers? Theories? Or Solutions?" As a bi couple we only want bi men, and at the top of our profile it says in capital letter any men with straight on there profile will be deleted and we block too, so far today we've had about 10 straight guys message us, it really does annoy us, I (Bobby) used to reply say please read the profile but I just got a bit of abuse saying why should it matter or we im bi but don't advertise it, it's only a word what should it matter, Really pees us off | |||
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"Well I think "why don't ***** read profiles" has been asked before, normally by couples or single ladies.. usual responses berating guys inability to read cos' they're horny have folliwed. Have you asked them op.. in reality the only person messaging outwith your preferences can answer., everyone else is make an assumption or a guess. When I've had my filters down I've had messages from guys and couples not what I'm looking for so I delete.. as yet I've not had any abuse from those folks. Again.. Someone saying I'm the one who needs to alter my behaviour? Use the tools presented. Behave a certain way. Why not do something about the problem. Rather than looking for solutions to plaster it over with? Because we are ultimately only responsible for ourselves not others? I don't see things that way. If that were the case.. why do we have public services? Normal life isn't anarchistic. " Take responsibility for oneself can be alturistic or anything else that one decides! A better way to word it might be I'm only responsible for my behaviour not other's behaviour? So rather than worry or get annoyed by others I'll strive to be a better person than I was yesterday ... I'm so laid back about things now it's lush | |||
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"Well I think "why don't ***** read profiles" has been asked before, normally by couples or single ladies.. usual responses berating guys inability to read cos' they're horny have folliwed. Have you asked them op.. in reality the only person messaging outwith your preferences can answer., everyone else is make an assumption or a guess. When I've had my filters down I've had messages from guys and couples not what I'm looking for so I delete.. as yet I've not had any abuse from those folks. Again.. Someone saying I'm the one who needs to alter my behaviour? Use the tools presented. Behave a certain way. Why not do something about the problem. Rather than looking for solutions to plaster it over with? Because we are ultimately only responsible for ourselves not others? I don't see things that way. If that were the case.. why do we have public services? Normal life isn't anarchistic. Take responsibility for oneself can be alturistic or anything else that one decides! A better way to word it might be I'm only responsible for my behaviour not other's behaviour? So rather than worry or get annoyed by others I'll strive to be a better person than I was yesterday ... I'm so laid back about things now it's lush "As am I. I still dont think it gives someone else free reign to be a dickhead and not expect some sort of comeback. So occasionally I will respond with a mouthful. | |||
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"Currently my communication filters are open to everyone. I'd like to keep it that way if possible.. but I'm already getting annoyed. Whatever I put on my profile.. e.g. "Not looking to meet men" (even if it's at the top of my profile). Falls on deaf ears. Men blinded so much by their little brain, that they dont even read the profile of the person they're sending it to. No attempt to see if the big brains might connect. When I point out, men "aren't what I'm looking for" It descends into an argument about me being bi. Asking me to justify how I can be bi, but not looking for blokes. Then they get a bit insulting, or worse crack on cracking on regardless. Women don't do this. I've yet to come across one female profile who has messaged outside my prefererance ranges (when they're displayed). Never had a female, or TV/TS profile react in any way other than a positive, polite goodbye - IF I've politely declined their advances. First messages are never sexual or pornographic, always friendly and respectful. Very few couples profiles follow the man pattern, but its more prevalent than Female or TV/TS community on here. In my experience, I have to assume it's the Male half I'm talking to. Is it porn? Is it narcissism? So wrapped up in what they want, what they need? Repressed? So lost in desire and desperation that they can only focus on the one thing? Less emotional creatures with no care or respect for other people? Stupidity? Lack of emotional intelligence? I'm a man. I don't act like that. It'd be nice if we could set up different communication filters in the forum than wider Fab. I suspect the majority of longer term forum men are a little wiser, little more respectful and a little more aware of who they're talking with.. than the Fab Horde. Thoughts on any of that? Explanations? Suggestions? Answers? Theories? Or Solutions?" I call it left handed scrolling. One hand on the phone, one hand on the cock! No thought going into the message. | |||
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"I find it fascinating Ghengis how annoyed and blustering when some white men suddenly find their position in the world (one of ease and entitlement) no longer exists. The ones who would probably scoff at the idea of white privilege or any minority group needing protection, support encouragement. I enjoy their rage and bafflement - which is a bit mean I know. BTW - I count you as a friend. A new one admittedly but certainly not just dots on a screen. " Finally
One of my other friends teasingly calls me 'entitled'. | |||
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"Well I think "why don't ***** read profiles" has been asked before, normally by couples or single ladies.. usual responses berating guys inability to read cos' they're horny have folliwed. Have you asked them op.. in reality the only person messaging outwith your preferences can answer., everyone else is make an assumption or a guess. When I've had my filters down I've had messages from guys and couples not what I'm looking for so I delete.. as yet I've not had any abuse from those folks. Again.. Someone saying I'm the one who needs to alter my behaviour? Use the tools presented. Behave a certain way. Why not do something about the problem. Rather than looking for solutions to plaster it over with? Because we are ultimately only responsible for ourselves not others? I don't see things that way. If that were the case.. why do we have public services? Normal life isn't anarchistic. Take responsibility for oneself can be alturistic or anything else that one decides! A better way to word it might be I'm only responsible for my behaviour not other's behaviour? So rather than worry or get annoyed by others I'll strive to be a better person than I was yesterday ... I'm so laid back about things now it's lush
As am I. I still dont think it gives someone else free reign to be a dickhead and not expect some sort of comeback.
So occasionally I will respond with a mouthful."Oh whole heartedly agree but it's their problem so just be the better person that you so are and let it go! It won't make anything better by the comeback ... don't waste your time on someone that truly doesn't deserve It! | |||
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"Well I think "why don't ***** read profiles" has been asked before, normally by couples or single ladies.. usual responses berating guys inability to read cos' they're horny have folliwed. Have you asked them op.. in reality the only person messaging outwith your preferences can answer., everyone else is make an assumption or a guess. When I've had my filters down I've had messages from guys and couples not what I'm looking for so I delete.. as yet I've not had any abuse from those folks. Again.. Someone saying I'm the one who needs to alter my behaviour? Use the tools presented. Behave a certain way. Why not do something about the problem. Rather than looking for solutions to plaster it over with? You won't be able to control how other people behave on here, but it's perfectly within your control to block those you don't want contacting you to save the abuse By blocking the group responsible, I have to block many who arent. Since you seem hellbent on not acting on any of the suggestions people have made, I can only assume it's not something that really bothers you that much, so why the thread?" I could say the same about your responses. Manners maketh (wo)man. Not an unreasonable expectation really is it? | |||
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" Finally
One of my other friends teasingly calls me 'entitled'. "Slightly worried now I have been sexually harassing you tho.... | |||
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"Well I think "why don't ***** read profiles" has been asked before, normally by couples or single ladies.. usual responses berating guys inability to read cos' they're horny have folliwed. Have you asked them op.. in reality the only person messaging outwith your preferences can answer., everyone else is make an assumption or a guess. When I've had my filters down I've had messages from guys and couples not what I'm looking for so I delete.. as yet I've not had any abuse from those folks. Again.. Someone saying I'm the one who needs to alter my behaviour? Use the tools presented. Behave a certain way. Why not do something about the problem. Rather than looking for solutions to plaster it over with? You won't be able to control how other people behave on here, but it's perfectly within your control to block those you don't want contacting you to save the abuse By blocking the group responsible, I have to block many who arent. Since you seem hellbent on not acting on any of the suggestions people have made, I can only assume it's not something that really bothers you that much, so why the thread? I could say the same about your responses. Manners maketh (wo)man. Not an unreasonable expectation really is it?" I don't really follow any of that | |||
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"Well I think "why don't ***** read profiles" has been asked before, normally by couples or single ladies.. usual responses berating guys inability to read cos' they're horny have folliwed. Have you asked them op.. in reality the only person messaging outwith your preferences can answer., everyone else is make an assumption or a guess. When I've had my filters down I've had messages from guys and couples not what I'm looking for so I delete.. as yet I've not had any abuse from those folks. Again.. Someone saying I'm the one who needs to alter my behaviour? Use the tools presented. Behave a certain way. Why not do something about the problem. Rather than looking for solutions to plaster it over with? You won't be able to control how other people behave on here, but it's perfectly within your control to block those you don't want contacting you to save the abuse By blocking the group responsible, I have to block many who arent. Since you seem hellbent on not acting on any of the suggestions people have made, I can only assume it's not something that really bothers you that much, so why the thread? I could say the same about your responses. Manners maketh (wo)man. Not an unreasonable expectation really is it? I don't really follow any of that " let me know when you catch up then | |||
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"Just use the block feature if not looking to meet men simply really and trust me women and couples send me abusive messages because I wont meet them aswell but that's why u use the block button" my point being.. we shouldn't need a block button. | |||
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"Well I think "why don't ***** read profiles" has been asked before, normally by couples or single ladies.. usual responses berating guys inability to read cos' they're horny have folliwed. Have you asked them op.. in reality the only person messaging outwith your preferences can answer., everyone else is make an assumption or a guess. When I've had my filters down I've had messages from guys and couples not what I'm looking for so I delete.. as yet I've not had any abuse from those folks. Again.. Someone saying I'm the one who needs to alter my behaviour? Use the tools presented. Behave a certain way. Why not do something about the problem. Rather than looking for solutions to plaster it over with? You won't be able to control how other people behave on here, but it's perfectly within your control to block those you don't want contacting you to save the abuse By blocking the group responsible, I have to block many who arent. Since you seem hellbent on not acting on any of the suggestions people have made, I can only assume it's not something that really bothers you that much, so why the thread? I could say the same about your responses. Manners maketh (wo)man. Not an unreasonable expectation really is it? I don't really follow any of that let me know when you catch up then "Are you saying I have no manners as I'm not sympathising with your troubles? | |||
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"But if u dont want single men at all dont leave it open for them to message u when u can easily use the block feature" Because it makes it far harder to make friendships in the forum. Seems a bit silly to have to use a 3rd party mutual friend to - pass it on - all because a lot of men forget social decency. | |||
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"Well I think "why don't ***** read profiles" has been asked before, normally by couples or single ladies.. usual responses berating guys inability to read cos' they're horny have folliwed. Have you asked them op.. in reality the only person messaging outwith your preferences can answer., everyone else is make an assumption or a guess. When I've had my filters down I've had messages from guys and couples not what I'm looking for so I delete.. as yet I've not had any abuse from those folks. Again.. Someone saying I'm the one who needs to alter my behaviour? Use the tools presented. Behave a certain way. Why not do something about the problem. Rather than looking for solutions to plaster it over with? You won't be able to control how other people behave on here, but it's perfectly within your control to block those you don't want contacting you to save the abuse By blocking the group responsible, I have to block many who arent. Since you seem hellbent on not acting on any of the suggestions people have made, I can only assume it's not something that really bothers you that much, so why the thread? I could say the same about your responses. Manners maketh (wo)man. Not an unreasonable expectation really is it? I don't really follow any of that let me know when you catch up then
Are you saying I have no manners as I'm not sympathising with your troubles?"not at all. | |||
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"Women and couples do do this, though perhaps not when messaging men as they have more choice there. And in my experience they're pissier about it when you point out they're outside your preferences. The nastiest most hateful message I ever had was sent to Cixi. Questions my mental health, morality and the like. That was sent by a woman. So fair point.. I tend to only get shown the messages from men.. "I want to impregnate/pay you/shit on you" Kind of stuff. I've definitely been on receiving end of angry couples messages.. all because I'm not happy going bi, till we've been straight first. So yeah good point. It's not just men. Maybe it's just the numbers throwing it off? I think this could be another reason that many bi men say they're straight on their profiles. Because they get sick of all the demanding messages from men. " Exactly | |||
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"Women and couples do do this, though perhaps not when messaging men as they have more choice there. And in my experience they're pissier about it when you point out they're outside your preferences. The nastiest most hateful message I ever had was sent to Cixi. Questions my mental health, morality and the like. That was sent by a woman. So fair point.. I tend to only get shown the messages from men.. "I want to impregnate/pay you/shit on you" Kind of stuff. I've definitely been on receiving end of angry couples messages.. all because I'm not happy going bi, till we've been straight first. So yeah good point. It's not just men. Maybe it's just the numbers throwing it off? I think this could be another reason that many bi men say they're straight on their profiles. Because they get sick of all the demanding messages from men. Exactly " hmmm.. I doubt it.. probably more to do with suspected negative impact itd have on success with women. To any bi male out there reading this and unsure. I tend to get left alone by men and am contacted by more women, more INTERESTING and EXCITING women than I've ever been. Use the forum, be you, be respectful and post a lot of photos
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