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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Man sat next to you in a cafe. Eating chips and mumbling under his breath about you.
"Ugly fat cunt in your shitty red top"
"So fucking boring, fuck off out of here"
"You're so stupid and doing my head in you dickhead"
Little kids sat at nearby tables.
What do you do? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Man sat next to you in a cafe. Eating chips and mumbling under his breath about you.
"Ugly fat cunt in your shitty red top"
"So fucking boring, fuck off out of here"
"You're so stupid and doing my head in you dickhead"
Little kids sat at nearby tables.
What do you do?"
Slap his face and public humiliate him. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"safety first
May have some mental health issues.
I'd probably speak to staff to check if he's known/usual behaviour
"
Good idea, staff might know him. |
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"Ask him if he’s okay.
Would it be wise to interact with him though? "
Very much dependent on you.
A lot of issues and people’s dramas can be helped with a simple welfare question.
May not be safe or appropriate though as obviously you are there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Had the kids not been a factor I'd verbally anger him so much he'd either cry or fight... Preferably the later.
Kids there though I'd invite their parents to leave with them first. |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"Ask him if he’s okay.
Would it be wise to interact with him though?
Very much dependent on you.
A lot of issues and people’s dramas can be helped with a simple welfare question.
May not be safe or appropriate though as obviously you are there. "
Exactly.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ask him if he’s okay.
Would it be wise to interact with him though?
Very much dependent on you.
A lot of issues and people’s dramas can be helped with a simple welfare question.
May not be safe or appropriate though as obviously you are there. "
I'm not there now, it happened this morning. Bit scary to be honest.
He left first, we were still eating. Lots of families with little kids at next tables. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ask him if he’s okay.
Would it be wise to interact with him though?
Very much dependent on you.
A lot of issues and people’s dramas can be helped with a simple welfare question.
May not be safe or appropriate though as obviously you are there.
I'm not there now, it happened this morning. Bit scary to be honest.
He left first, we were still eating. Lots of families with little kids at next tables. "
If you walked away without further drama then you did the right thing.
My previous post was saying what I might do, but ultimately in your case you were right to let him leave first then hopefully walk away in the other direction. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Judging by what he said, he's having an internal conversation that you're only hearing half of, best to give a wide berth as it sounds like he has mental health problems. If he's out in the community he is probably no more of a threat than anyone else in there but antagonising the situation could cause a bad reaction. He needs compassion, not a beating. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Judging by what he said, he's having an internal conversation that you're only hearing half of, best to give a wide berth as it sounds like he has mental health problems. If he's out in the community he is probably no more of a threat than anyone else in there but antagonising the situation could cause a bad reaction. He needs compassion, not a beating. "
Yes that's the impression I got, that he was talking to himself but out loud. I didn't make eye contact or acknowledge him. He was mumbling, not saying it directly to me.
Didn't want to escalate things. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How awful. These things do shake you up. I probably would’ve frozen and either left or done nothing, even if there are wiser options. So sorry this happened to you.- Mrs. |
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"Judging by what he said, he's having an internal conversation that you're only hearing half of, best to give a wide berth as it sounds like he has mental health problems. If he's out in the community he is probably no more of a threat than anyone else in there but antagonising the situation could cause a bad reaction. He needs compassion, not a beating.
Yes that's the impression I got, that he was talking to himself but out loud. I didn't make eye contact or acknowledge him. He was mumbling, not saying it directly to me.
Didn't want to escalate things. "
It is unfortunate you felt the brunt of this however , on first thoughts regarding his words he does not sound responsible for his words , perhaps a version of tourette's
As some have said compassion not brutality would be my thought
Recently I have had encounters with a gentleman, he can be aggressive and intimidating, but I know he is "unwell" I control my fear and help him to my best ability
We do not know if the man the OP described is nasty or unwell , the words quoted suggest to me unwell , and that's how I would treat it and take nothing intended or personal from the experience |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How awful. These things do shake you up. I probably would’ve frozen and either left or done nothing, even if there are wiser options. So sorry this happened to you.- Mrs. "
Thank you. I felt bad for the guy but wasn't sure what to do for the best really. Wanted to ask other people in case I'm ever in the same situation again. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Judging by what he said, he's having an internal conversation that you're only hearing half of, best to give a wide berth as it sounds like he has mental health problems. If he's out in the community he is probably no more of a threat than anyone else in there but antagonising the situation could cause a bad reaction. He needs compassion, not a beating.
Yes that's the impression I got, that he was talking to himself but out loud. I didn't make eye contact or acknowledge him. He was mumbling, not saying it directly to me.
Didn't want to escalate things.
It is unfortunate you felt the brunt of this however , on first thoughts regarding his words he does not sound responsible for his words , perhaps a version of tourette's
As some have said compassion not brutality would be my thought
Recently I have had encounters with a gentleman, he can be aggressive and intimidating, but I know he is "unwell" I control my fear and help him to my best ability
We do not know if the man the OP described is nasty or unwell , the words quoted suggest to me unwell , and that's how I would treat it and take nothing intended or personal from the experience "
I don't know if he was unwell, under the influence of alcohol or substances, etc. As he wasn't speaking directly to me I felt it best to pretend we couldn't hear what he was saying.
It didn't feel appropriate to 'help' him. He was ok eating his chips but just seemed annoyed at us talking on the next table.
Thank you. |
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"Judging by what he said, he's having an internal conversation that you're only hearing half of, best to give a wide berth as it sounds like he has mental health problems. If he's out in the community he is probably no more of a threat than anyone else in there but antagonising the situation could cause a bad reaction. He needs compassion, not a beating.
Yes that's the impression I got, that he was talking to himself but out loud. I didn't make eye contact or acknowledge him. He was mumbling, not saying it directly to me.
Didn't want to escalate things.
It is unfortunate you felt the brunt of this however , on first thoughts regarding his words he does not sound responsible for his words , perhaps a version of tourette's
As some have said compassion not brutality would be my thought
Recently I have had encounters with a gentleman, he can be aggressive and intimidating, but I know he is "unwell" I control my fear and help him to my best ability
We do not know if the man the OP described is nasty or unwell , the words quoted suggest to me unwell , and that's how I would treat it and take nothing intended or personal from the experience
I don't know if he was unwell, under the influence of alcohol or substances, etc. As he wasn't speaking directly to me I felt it best to pretend we couldn't hear what he was saying.
It didn't feel appropriate to 'help' him. He was ok eating his chips but just seemed annoyed at us talking on the next table.
Thank you."
I certainly was not suggesting you should have helped him , rational or not they are very scary , walking away was wise
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Judging by what he said, he's having an internal conversation that you're only hearing half of, best to give a wide berth as it sounds like he has mental health problems. If he's out in the community he is probably no more of a threat than anyone else in there but antagonising the situation could cause a bad reaction. He needs compassion, not a beating.
Yes that's the impression I got, that he was talking to himself but out loud. I didn't make eye contact or acknowledge him. He was mumbling, not saying it directly to me.
Didn't want to escalate things.
It is unfortunate you felt the brunt of this however , on first thoughts regarding his words he does not sound responsible for his words , perhaps a version of tourette's
As some have said compassion not brutality would be my thought
Recently I have had encounters with a gentleman, he can be aggressive and intimidating, but I know he is "unwell" I control my fear and help him to my best ability
We do not know if the man the OP described is nasty or unwell , the words quoted suggest to me unwell , and that's how I would treat it and take nothing intended or personal from the experience
I don't know if he was unwell, under the influence of alcohol or substances, etc. As he wasn't speaking directly to me I felt it best to pretend we couldn't hear what he was saying.
It didn't feel appropriate to 'help' him. He was ok eating his chips but just seemed annoyed at us talking on the next table.
Thank you.
I certainly was not suggesting you should have helped him , rational or not they are very scary , walking away was wise
"
You said you would have helped him that was all.
Sometimes people make us feel guilty for not helping. I was just thinking about that. It didn't seem a good idea to interact in case I made him more angry. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Man sat next to you in a cafe. Eating chips and mumbling under his breath about you.
"Ugly fat cunt in your shitty red top"
"So fucking boring, fuck off out of here"
"You're so stupid and doing my head in you dickhead"
Little kids sat at nearby tables.
What do you do?"
If I was the woman, I would have just put my knickers and skirt back on and left. |
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There's a bloke that walks round Derby town centre occasionally, he's smartly dressed, but just keeps on ranting at random objects. He seems quite harmless, and he probably has mental health issues, but I do find it quite comical sometimes when he's swearing at an innocent lamppost  |
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Happy birthday x