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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Am being held hostage in my bedroom by a giant spider which is half in/half out the gap between the door, seems like it's unable to squeeze its body through (it really is big). Have been stuck here for 1.5 hours now and am home alone so can't call for help. I am very very very afraid of spiders. Someone please send me the courage to try and smash it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Please don't kill it, it could be your grandfather  When it's finally gone, get some horse chestnuts (conkers?) and put one either side of your window ledges and that will keep them from coming in again. |
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"Am being held hostage in my bedroom by a giant spider which is half in/half out the gap between the door, seems like it's unable to squeeze its body through (it really is big). Have been stuck here for 1.5 hours now and am home alone so can't call for help. I am very very very afraid of spiders. Someone please send me the courage to try and smash it "
To be fair, I think that if it's too big to fit through your bedroom door, it's probably going to eat anyone who gets too close.
Have you tried screaming at it to scare it away? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Please don't kill it, it could be your grandfather When it's finally gone, get some horse chestnuts (conkers?) and put one either side of your window ledges and that will keep them from coming in again."
We have conkers in every room of the house, it doesn't work! |
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By *andonmessMan
over a year ago
A world all of his own |
"Please don't kill it, it could be your grandfather When it's finally gone, get some horse chestnuts (conkers?) and put one either side of your window ledges and that will keep them from coming in again.
We have conkers in every room of the house, it doesn't work! "
Ah the conker one always makes me chuckle, doesn't stop spiders at all  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Please don't kill it, it could be your grandfather When it's finally gone, get some horse chestnuts (conkers?) and put one either side of your window ledges and that will keep them from coming in again."
Her grandfather is a spider???? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Please don't kill it, it could be your grandfather When it's finally gone, get some horse chestnuts (conkers?) and put one either side of your window ledges and that will keep them from coming in again.
We have conkers in every room of the house, it doesn't work! "
You have to pierce the skin and change them when they dry  |
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By *uryWhipMan
over a year ago
Harringay |
I feel your pain, am arachnaphobic too. Been trapped myself but managed to mcgyuver out of the situation by throwing books and shoes, charging at them with brooms and mops. Whatever you do, make sure your wearing shoes. Im in NW London if you need a hand.
Which gap in the door, the hinge or is it trying to crawl underneath? |
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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago
Chippenham Malmesbury area |
Definitely don't kill it, live and let live! Of course if you don't like them then get someone to remove it but as you're alone, try opening the door (I doubt it's stuck), it'll crawl off somewhere and you'll be safe.
And, what ever you do, don't think about the tens of spiders that it's calculated we eat whilst asleep during our life time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ugh.
I hate them. I kill them with my shoes, hairspray, or throw them in the toilet using a container and some paper!
Spider season is coming up, citronella will be bought in hope they stay away! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I feel your pain, am arachnaphobic too. Been trapped myself but managed to mcgyuver out of the situation by throwing books and shoes, charging at them with brooms and mops. Whatever you do, make sure your wearing shoes. Im in NW London if you need a hand.
Which gap in the door, the hinge or is it trying to crawl underneath? "
It's on the side, right next to the handle |
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By *uryWhipMan
over a year ago
Harringay |
"I feel your pain, am arachnaphobic too. Been trapped myself but managed to mcgyuver out of the situation by throwing books and shoes, charging at them with brooms and mops. Whatever you do, make sure your wearing shoes. Im in NW London if you need a hand.
Which gap in the door, the hinge or is it trying to crawl underneath?
It's on the side, right next to the handle "
Would suggest slamming the door and see what happens but those fuckers are flexible. Unless you're expecting someone home soon you're gonna have to brave it and do battle. Sounds like a nightmare |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I feel your pain, am arachnaphobic too. Been trapped myself but managed to mcgyuver out of the situation by throwing books and shoes, charging at them with brooms and mops. Whatever you do, make sure your wearing shoes. Im in NW London if you need a hand.
Which gap in the door, the hinge or is it trying to crawl underneath?
It's on the side, right next to the handle
Would suggest slamming the door and see what happens but those fuckers are flexible. Unless you're expecting someone home soon you're gonna have to brave it and do battle. Sounds like a nightmare "
I can't slam the door, it's shut  it looks like it was trying to escape my room but got stuck. The door opens towards me as well so if I open it I'll be literally swinging a spider towards my face. I need to pee so badly as well, this really is not an ideal situation. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Indoor spiders are born indoors - they die outdoors - they are there whether you can see them or not.
Go into another room and forget about it.
"
How???? I can't get through the door! |
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By *uryWhipMan
over a year ago
Harringay |
"I feel your pain, am arachnaphobic too. Been trapped myself but managed to mcgyuver out of the situation by throwing books and shoes, charging at them with brooms and mops. Whatever you do, make sure your wearing shoes. Im in NW London if you need a hand.
Which gap in the door, the hinge or is it trying to crawl underneath?
It's on the side, right next to the handle
Would suggest slamming the door and see what happens but those fuckers are flexible. Unless you're expecting someone home soon you're gonna have to brave it and do battle. Sounds like a nightmare
I can't slam the door, it's shut it looks like it was trying to escape my room but got stuck. The door opens towards me as well so if I open it I'll be literally swinging a spider towards my face. I need to pee so badly as well, this really is not an ideal situation. "
Jesus...im not sure how Id get out of that one other than just have to open the door quickly with my back to it so i can jump away across the room (screaming). Then reasses the situation before running out of the room (screaming) making sure i cant see it. |
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"Indoor spiders are born indoors - they die outdoors - they are there whether you can see them or not.
Go into another room and forget about it.
How???? I can't get through the door! "
When you open the door 1 of 3 things will happen.
1. The spider will already be dead.
2. The spider will run like fuck.
3. The spider will be crushed.
I guarantee what won't happen.
It won't attack you. It is shit scared and wanting somewhere dark. So keep your foof shut 
Stand arms length away and open the door. Even if you do it stood on a stool. Do it. |
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Spiders and I have an arrangement. If they don't enter my house, or don't reveal themselves, they get to stay the same shape, with all 8 legs still attached.
I detest the things and would rather not go near them, but the worry that one might get away and not knowing where it is always overrides the fear of getting close so I murder them ASAP. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I did it! I opened the door! My need to pee overrode my fear. It was already dead "
Dam it i was hoping to see some pee stained carpet pics. Glad your ok now xx |
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You should see the size of the one in my basement at the moment.
I like spiders and will generally pick them up and set them free but this big mamma one I decided to leave where she is. Biggest I have seen in the UK. |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"I did it! I opened the door! My need to pee overrode my fear. It was already dead
This thread was a real rollercoaster, I need a stiff drink and a timeout after that! "
Silly me, I meant a stiff cock and a timeout. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I did it! I opened the door! My need to pee overrode my fear. It was already dead
This thread was a real rollercoaster, I need a stiff drink and a timeout after that! "
Tell me about it! I'm planning to move out soon as well so lord knows what I'll do when I'm truly alone! Reckon the firefighters deal with stuff like this?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You should see the size of the one in my basement at the moment.
I like spiders and will generally pick them up and set them free but this big mamma one I decided to leave where she is. Biggest I have seen in the UK. "
Something tells me you'll come to regret this decision  |
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"You should see the size of the one in my basement at the moment.
I like spiders and will generally pick them up and set them free but this big mamma one I decided to leave where she is. Biggest I have seen in the UK.
Something tells me you'll come to regret this decision "
My house will be like arachnaphobia the film by the morning  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Always remember it has family, family revenge runs very deep.
Does it look like a Sicilian Spider?"
I have no idea what a sicilian spider looks like and there's no way in hell I'm going to Google it sorry x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Always remember it has family, family revenge runs very deep.
Does it look like a Sicilian Spider?
I have no idea what a sicilian spider looks like and there's no way in hell I'm going to Google it sorry x"
Any updates?
I had a spider in my conservatory so I couldn't go in. Ended up sucking it up with the vacuum cleaner. |
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