FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Advice please
Advice please
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I will be staying in Bournemouth for awhile soon. So over the weekend I decided to take the time to message quite a few ladies in the area to see if I could meet someone for a social.
I just logged in now and I feel so disappointed, because I've only recieved one not interested reply back and most of the others have been deleted 
Is it allways like this for you guys?
Can someone please tell me what is a good opening message to stand out? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do you read the replies people leave on your forum posts to reply, or to actually listen?
Time and time again people have tried to tell you that everyone is individual and will want different things.
Time and time again you say you understand.
Yet here we are with another thread asking for advice, advice you've been given multiple times from multiple people. Do you think we've all been lying to you, telling you the same lie and someone is gonna pop up with the magic beans of wisdom and enlightenment?
Here is the only answer you'll ever need.
Everyone is different so there is no magic formula. Be yourself.
P |
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Happens all the time ... I know there are quite a few freaks on here .. but as u say a social, that’s all it is, only like talking to a woman or women in a pub .. but the internet is disintegrating that pleasure .. and are we actually losing our social skills ???
I wouldn’t worry about it fella u might meet someone or some people in a bar, like I did when I was down there |
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"OP there are two clubs in bournemouth. Look in club reviews and you will find them in there "
This is good  do this as it gets you out there, have no expectations and remember no one owes you anything. Relax, reflect and redo  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Do you read the replies people leave on your forum posts to reply, or to actually listen?
Time and time again people have tried to tell you that everyone is individual and will want different things.
Time and time again you say you understand.
Yet here we are with another thread asking for advice, advice you've been given multiple times from multiple people. Do you think we've all been lying to you, telling you the same lie and someone is gonna pop up with the magic beans of wisdom and enlightenment?
Here is the only answer you'll ever need.
Everyone is different so there is no magic formula. Be yourself.
P"
To listen. I don't usually message women who I haven't chatted with in the forums.. But I have been doing this over the weekend and it's just got me thinking what am I doing wrong again.
Almost everyone has verifications on their profiles and have met up with people. Many don't even go to clubs. When I see this it sometimes makes me question myself. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Happens all the time ... I know there are quite a few freaks on here .. but as u say a social, that’s all it is, only like talking to a woman or women in a pub .. but the internet is disintegrating that pleasure .. and are we actually losing our social skills ???
I wouldn’t worry about it fella u might meet someone or some people in a bar, like I did when I was down there "
Back to the pub then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do you read the replies people leave on your forum posts to reply, or to actually listen?
Time and time again people have tried to tell you that everyone is individual and will want different things.
Time and time again you say you understand.
Yet here we are with another thread asking for advice, advice you've been given multiple times from multiple people. Do you think we've all been lying to you, telling you the same lie and someone is gonna pop up with the magic beans of wisdom and enlightenment?
Here is the only answer you'll ever need.
Everyone is different so there is no magic formula. Be yourself.
P
To listen. I don't usually message women who I haven't chatted with in the forums.. But I have been doing this over the weekend and it's just got me thinking what am I doing wrong again.
Almost everyone has verifications on their profiles and have met up with people. Many don't even go to clubs. When I see this it sometimes makes me question myself. "
You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea. Just be patient. |
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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago
The Land that time forgot (Norfolk) |
A lot of women aren't interested in guys who are only passing through or not based in the area, that's my experience. It's not impossible but it is harder to find meets when traveling around, I've never really understood why they have that attitude but it's their prerogative. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I will be staying in Bournemouth for awhile soon. So over the weekend I decided to take the time to message quite a few ladies in the area to see if I could meet someone for a social.
I just logged in now and I feel so disappointed, because I've only recieved one not interested reply back and most of the others have been deleted
Is it allways like this for you guys?
Can someone please tell me what is a good opening message to stand out? "
yes I can........ Hi ladies I'm independently wealthy, we can stay in any one of my three beach houses, I have a puppy loads of cake and an Aston Martin who's available to take me out for a meal? Works every time thank me later  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A lot of women aren't interested in guys who are only passing through or not based in the area, that's my experience. It's not impossible but it is harder to find meets when traveling around, I've never really understood why they have that attitude but it's their prerogative."
Some of us like to meet people that are local and regularly. I wouldn’t meet just anyone that’s passing through when I know plenty that live close unless that out of towner was a friend from here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The thing is this is a swinging site, people want to meet people they connect with, that means being yourself.
If there was some kinda magic formula first message then it wouldn't be you, what if they replied though, how will you approach a second message?
Guys seem to forget the women here are the same women they'd meet out there in the real world therefore the rules are the same, speak to us as you would in a pub. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am new but learning. Read the profile,look for things in common,no doc pics unless asked,no sex talk unless asked,just be honest and open. Oh and us men are outnumbered 20/1 so be patient. |
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"The thing is this is a swinging site, people want to meet people they connect with, that means being yourself.
If there was some kinda magic formula first message then it wouldn't be you, what if they replied though, how will you approach a second message?
Guys seem to forget the women here are the same women they'd meet out there in the real world therefore the rules are the same, speak to us as you would in a pub. "
You mean you don’t get folk flashing their knobs out casually when ordering a drink!? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The thing is this is a swinging site, people want to meet people they connect with, that means being yourself.
If there was some kinda magic formula first message then it wouldn't be you, what if they replied though, how will you approach a second message?
Guys seem to forget the women here are the same women they'd meet out there in the real world therefore the rules are the same, speak to us as you would in a pub.
You mean you don’t get folk flashing their knobs out casually when ordering a drink!? "
Depends on the pub |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The thing is this is a swinging site, people want to meet people they connect with, that means being yourself.
If there was some kinda magic formula first message then it wouldn't be you, what if they replied though, how will you approach a second message?
Guys seem to forget the women here are the same women they'd meet out there in the real world therefore the rules are the same, speak to us as you would in a pub. "
yes but why do most pretend it's a different world? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I will be staying in Bournemouth for awhile soon. So over the weekend I decided to take the time to message quite a few ladies in the area to see if I could meet someone for a social.
I just logged in now and I feel so disappointed, because I've only recieved one not interested reply back and most of the others have been deleted
Is it allways like this for you guys?
Can someone please tell me what is a good opening message to stand out? yes I can........ Hi ladies I'm independently wealthy, we can stay in any one of my three beach houses, I have a puppy loads of cake and an Aston Martin who's available to take me out for a meal? Works every time thank me later "
I bet that would work with some lol.
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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago
The Land that time forgot (Norfolk) |
"A lot of women aren't interested in guys who are only passing through or not based in the area, that's my experience. It's not impossible but it is harder to find meets when traveling around, I've never really understood why they have that attitude but it's their prerogative.
Some of us like to meet people that are local and regularly. I wouldn’t meet just anyone that’s passing through when I know plenty that live close unless that out of towner was a friend from here. "
I totally get that point of view, if you're only looking for regular meets with someone rather than one offs then it's logical to meet the more local people.
However I met my partner of over 2 years when I was just passing through and despite living 4 hours apart we make it work, we both thought it would only be a one off.
I just think it's a shame to rule out meeting people who are passing through if they tick all your other boxes as you don't know when that one off will become something more. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A lot of women aren't interested in guys who are only passing through or not based in the area, that's my experience. It's not impossible but it is harder to find meets when traveling around, I've never really understood why they have that attitude but it's their prerogative.
Some of us like to meet people that are local and regularly. I wouldn’t meet just anyone that’s passing through when I know plenty that live close unless that out of towner was a friend from here.
I totally get that point of view, if you're only looking for regular meets with someone rather than one offs then it's logical to meet the more local people.
However I met my partner of over 2 years when I was just passing through and despite living 4 hours apart we make it work, we both thought it would only be a one off.
I just think it's a shame to rule out meeting people who are passing through if they tick all your other boxes as you don't know when that one off will become something more."
I have met a couple passing through with work but we spent months getting to know each other away from fab messaging wise. I wouldn’t meet anyone that was just visiting once. I have little spare time in the UK as it is so my time is spent with people I already have connections with. Done a long distance thing a few times and too frustrating for me. I travel for work so like an easier time when home.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"The thing is this is a swinging site, people want to meet people they connect with, that means being yourself.
If there was some kinda magic formula first message then it wouldn't be you, what if they replied though, how will you approach a second message?
Guys seem to forget the women here are the same women they'd meet out there in the real world therefore the rules are the same, speak to us as you would in a pub. "
The first message is always the hardest to get. If they send one back and its not a refusal to chat, I take it from there.
I do chat like I would with women in the pub.. But don't think small chat will ever do me any favours on here.
I often think I'd have more luck if I was a total perv during conversation. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"A lot of women aren't interested in guys who are only passing through or not based in the area, that's my experience. It's not impossible but it is harder to find meets when traveling around, I've never really understood why they have that attitude but it's their prerogative.
Some of us like to meet people that are local and regularly. I wouldn’t meet just anyone that’s passing through when I know plenty that live close unless that out of towner was a friend from here.
I totally get that point of view, if you're only looking for regular meets with someone rather than one offs then it's logical to meet the more local people.
However I met my partner of over 2 years when I was just passing through and despite living 4 hours apart we make it work, we both thought it would only be a one off.
I just think it's a shame to rule out meeting people who are passing through if they tick all your other boxes as you don't know when that one off will become something more.
I have met a couple passing through with work but we spent months getting to know each other away from fab messaging wise. I wouldn’t meet anyone that was just visiting once. I have little spare time in the UK as it is so my time is spent with people I already have connections with. Done a long distance thing a few times and too frustrating for me. I travel for work so like an easier time when home. "
I know a lot of women are looking for regular fwbs. But at the end of the day this is an adult site where people are seeking sex with others who tick all the box's.
I guess when women visit clubs they have one off sex with people, so what is the difference in talking with someone online and meeting up for fun when in the area?
|
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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago
The Land that time forgot (Norfolk) |
"A lot of women aren't interested in guys who are only passing through or not based in the area, that's my experience. It's not impossible but it is harder to find meets when traveling around, I've never really understood why they have that attitude but it's their prerogative.
Some of us like to meet people that are local and regularly. I wouldn’t meet just anyone that’s passing through when I know plenty that live close unless that out of towner was a friend from here.
I totally get that point of view, if you're only looking for regular meets with someone rather than one offs then it's logical to meet the more local people.
However I met my partner of over 2 years when I was just passing through and despite living 4 hours apart we make it work, we both thought it would only be a one off.
I just think it's a shame to rule out meeting people who are passing through if they tick all your other boxes as you don't know when that one off will become something more.
I have met a couple passing through with work but we spent months getting to know each other away from fab messaging wise. I wouldn’t meet anyone that was just visiting once. I have little spare time in the UK as it is so my time is spent with people I already have connections with. Done a long distance thing a few times and too frustrating for me. I travel for work so like an easier time when home. "
It depends what you're looking for I guess, I can see why it doesn't work for you.
On the other hand I've had one off meets with no connection when I've been traveling and both of us have been happy with that. Other times a connection has developed afterwards, it's horses for courses.
If you were a lady who is happy with one off meets then why would not being local matter? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"A lot of women aren't interested in guys who are only passing through or not based in the area, that's my experience. It's not impossible but it is harder to find meets when traveling around, I've never really understood why they have that attitude but it's their prerogative.
Some of us like to meet people that are local and regularly. I wouldn’t meet just anyone that’s passing through when I know plenty that live close unless that out of towner was a friend from here.
I totally get that point of view, if you're only looking for regular meets with someone rather than one offs then it's logical to meet the more local people.
However I met my partner of over 2 years when I was just passing through and despite living 4 hours apart we make it work, we both thought it would only be a one off.
I just think it's a shame to rule out meeting people who are passing through if they tick all your other boxes as you don't know when that one off will become something more.
I have met a couple passing through with work but we spent months getting to know each other away from fab messaging wise. I wouldn’t meet anyone that was just visiting once. I have little spare time in the UK as it is so my time is spent with people I already have connections with. Done a long distance thing a few times and too frustrating for me. I travel for work so like an easier time when home.
It depends what you're looking for I guess, I can see why it doesn't work for you.
On the other hand I've had one off meets with no connection when I've been traveling and both of us have been happy with that. Other times a connection has developed afterwards, it's horses for courses.
If you were a lady who is happy with one off meets then why would not being local matter?"
Good question for the ladies on this site |
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"I will be staying in Bournemouth for awhile soon. So over the weekend I decided to take the time to message quite a few ladies in the area to see if I could meet someone for a social.
I just logged in now and I feel so disappointed, because I've only recieved one not interested reply back and most of the others have been deleted
Is it allways like this for you guys?
Can someone please tell me what is a good opening message to stand out? "
Shit happens....chin up lad....dust off TRY again....it will work out....just read their profile...show a GENUINE interest and everything will work out!! |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
"A lot of women aren't interested in guys who are only passing through or not based in the area, that's my experience. It's not impossible but it is harder to find meets when traveling around, I've never really understood why they have that attitude but it's their prerogative.
Some of us like to meet people that are local and regularly. I wouldn’t meet just anyone that’s passing through when I know plenty that live close unless that out of towner was a friend from here.
I totally get that point of view, if you're only looking for regular meets with someone rather than one offs then it's logical to meet the more local people.
However I met my partner of over 2 years when I was just passing through and despite living 4 hours apart we make it work, we both thought it would only be a one off.
I just think it's a shame to rule out meeting people who are passing through if they tick all your other boxes as you don't know when that one off will become something more.
I have met a couple passing through with work but we spent months getting to know each other away from fab messaging wise. I wouldn’t meet anyone that was just visiting once. I have little spare time in the UK as it is so my time is spent with people I already have connections with. Done a long distance thing a few times and too frustrating for me. I travel for work so like an easier time when home.
I know a lot of women are looking for regular fwbs. But at the end of the day this is an adult site where people are seeking sex with others who tick all the box's.
I guess when women visit clubs they have one off sex with people, so what is the difference in talking with someone online and meeting up for fun when in the area?
"
It’s actually irrelevant that it’s a sex site, some people just use it to chat. Even though it is a sex site though that doesn’t mean you have to engage if you don’t want to. It’s everyone’s own journey. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A lot of women aren't interested in guys who are only passing through or not based in the area, that's my experience. It's not impossible but it is harder to find meets when traveling around, I've never really understood why they have that attitude but it's their prerogative.
Some of us like to meet people that are local and regularly. I wouldn’t meet just anyone that’s passing through when I know plenty that live close unless that out of towner was a friend from here.
I totally get that point of view, if you're only looking for regular meets with someone rather than one offs then it's logical to meet the more local people.
However I met my partner of over 2 years when I was just passing through and despite living 4 hours apart we make it work, we both thought it would only be a one off.
I just think it's a shame to rule out meeting people who are passing through if they tick all your other boxes as you don't know when that one off will become something more.
I have met a couple passing through with work but we spent months getting to know each other away from fab messaging wise. I wouldn’t meet anyone that was just visiting once. I have little spare time in the UK as it is so my time is spent with people I already have connections with. Done a long distance thing a few times and too frustrating for me. I travel for work so like an easier time when home.
I know a lot of women are looking for regular fwbs. But at the end of the day this is an adult site where people are seeking sex with others who tick all the box's.
I guess when women visit clubs they have one off sex with people, so what is the difference in talking with someone online and meeting up for fun when in the area?
"
I think with clubs, you can see people for real and if there is a mutual attraction then you can get it on. Meeting a random guy passing through takes more effort and you don’t know if you will click or not. If I wanted a random one off, it would be from a night out or at a swinging club or private party. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I guess when women visit clubs they have one off sex with people, so what is the difference in talking with someone online and meeting up for fun when in the area?
"
Because going to a club they have potentially numerous men to choose from, the environment is fun and inclusive. Meeting someone one on one is very different and is more risky, if there's no spark then it's just time wasted if that's all you're looking for. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"A lot of women aren't interested in guys who are only passing through or not based in the area, that's my experience. It's not impossible but it is harder to find meets when traveling around, I've never really understood why they have that attitude but it's their prerogative.
Some of us like to meet people that are local and regularly. I wouldn’t meet just anyone that’s passing through when I know plenty that live close unless that out of towner was a friend from here.
I totally get that point of view, if you're only looking for regular meets with someone rather than one offs then it's logical to meet the more local people.
However I met my partner of over 2 years when I was just passing through and despite living 4 hours apart we make it work, we both thought it would only be a one off.
I just think it's a shame to rule out meeting people who are passing through if they tick all your other boxes as you don't know when that one off will become something more.
I have met a couple passing through with work but we spent months getting to know each other away from fab messaging wise. I wouldn’t meet anyone that was just visiting once. I have little spare time in the UK as it is so my time is spent with people I already have connections with. Done a long distance thing a few times and too frustrating for me. I travel for work so like an easier time when home.
I know a lot of women are looking for regular fwbs. But at the end of the day this is an adult site where people are seeking sex with others who tick all the box's.
I guess when women visit clubs they have one off sex with people, so what is the difference in talking with someone online and meeting up for fun when in the area?
I think with clubs, you can see people for real and if there is a mutual attraction then you can get it on. Meeting a random guy passing through takes more effort and you don’t know if you will click or not. If I wanted a random one off, it would be from a night out or at a swinging club or private party. "
That's why I ask for a social first. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I guess when women visit clubs they have one off sex with people, so what is the difference in talking with someone online and meeting up for fun when in the area?
Because going to a club they have potentially numerous men to choose from, the environment is fun and inclusive. Meeting someone one on one is very different and is more risky, if there's no spark then it's just time wasted if that's all you're looking for. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
A one off with a local is different to someone 'just passing through'. I'd assume the sex tourist would fuck anyone who replied. They have a short period of time to find someone, so anything will do.
A local has no time limit and so is more likely to spend a bit of time sorting the meet.
Not always true or so black & white. But gut feel says so. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A lot of women aren't interested in guys who are only passing through or not based in the area, that's my experience. It's not impossible but it is harder to find meets when traveling around, I've never really understood why they have that attitude but it's their prerogative.
Some of us like to meet people that are local and regularly. I wouldn’t meet just anyone that’s passing through when I know plenty that live close unless that out of towner was a friend from here.
I totally get that point of view, if you're only looking for regular meets with someone rather than one offs then it's logical to meet the more local people.
However I met my partner of over 2 years when I was just passing through and despite living 4 hours apart we make it work, we both thought it would only be a one off.
I just think it's a shame to rule out meeting people who are passing through if they tick all your other boxes as you don't know when that one off will become something more.
I have met a couple passing through with work but we spent months getting to know each other away from fab messaging wise. I wouldn’t meet anyone that was just visiting once. I have little spare time in the UK as it is so my time is spent with people I already have connections with. Done a long distance thing a few times and too frustrating for me. I travel for work so like an easier time when home.
I know a lot of women are looking for regular fwbs. But at the end of the day this is an adult site where people are seeking sex with others who tick all the box's.
I guess when women visit clubs they have one off sex with people, so what is the difference in talking with someone online and meeting up for fun when in the area?
I think with clubs, you can see people for real and if there is a mutual attraction then you can get it on. Meeting a random guy passing through takes more effort and you don’t know if you will click or not. If I wanted a random one off, it would be from a night out or at a swinging club or private party.
That's why I ask for a social first. "
If you're only passing through and have a social, when would the sex meet be? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A one off with a local is different to someone 'just passing through'. I'd assume the sex tourist would fuck anyone who replied. They have a short period of time to find someone, so anything will do.
A local has no time limit and so is more likely to spend a bit of time sorting the meet.
Not always true or so black & white. But gut feel says so."
You’ve put it perfectly and exactly how I feel going by messages I’ve had in the past. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"A one off with a local is different to someone 'just passing through'. I'd assume the sex tourist would fuck anyone who replied. They have a short period of time to find someone, so anything will do.
A local has no time limit and so is more likely to spend a bit of time sorting the meet.
Not always true or so black & white. But gut feel says so."
I'm not a man who would sleep with anyone who replies. If that was the case I could of done so by now.
I have to feel an attraction. And with me I usually stay in an area for two weeks at a time, so plenty of time and I message a week before arriving.
Waste of time though. I think I'll stick to bars.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"A lot of women aren't interested in guys who are only passing through or not based in the area, that's my experience. It's not impossible but it is harder to find meets when traveling around, I've never really understood why they have that attitude but it's their prerogative.
Some of us like to meet people that are local and regularly. I wouldn’t meet just anyone that’s passing through when I know plenty that live close unless that out of towner was a friend from here.
I totally get that point of view, if you're only looking for regular meets with someone rather than one offs then it's logical to meet the more local people.
However I met my partner of over 2 years when I was just passing through and despite living 4 hours apart we make it work, we both thought it would only be a one off.
I just think it's a shame to rule out meeting people who are passing through if they tick all your other boxes as you don't know when that one off will become something more.
I have met a couple passing through with work but we spent months getting to know each other away from fab messaging wise. I wouldn’t meet anyone that was just visiting once. I have little spare time in the UK as it is so my time is spent with people I already have connections with. Done a long distance thing a few times and too frustrating for me. I travel for work so like an easier time when home.
I know a lot of women are looking for regular fwbs. But at the end of the day this is an adult site where people are seeking sex with others who tick all the box's.
I guess when women visit clubs they have one off sex with people, so what is the difference in talking with someone online and meeting up for fun when in the area?
I think with clubs, you can see people for real and if there is a mutual attraction then you can get it on. Meeting a random guy passing through takes more effort and you don’t know if you will click or not. If I wanted a random one off, it would be from a night out or at a swinging club or private party.
That's why I ask for a social first.
If you're only passing through and have a social, when would the sex meet be?"
Whenever the timing is right. Its not like I'm only going to be there for a day or never going back again. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A one off with a local is different to someone 'just passing through'. I'd assume the sex tourist would fuck anyone who replied. They have a short period of time to find someone, so anything will do.
A local has no time limit and so is more likely to spend a bit of time sorting the meet.
Not always true or so black & white. But gut feel says so.
You’ve put it perfectly and exactly how I feel going by messages I’ve had in the past. "
Well I guess that is how I come off then. I must seem like a desperate sex tourist who would sleep with anyone.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A one off with a local is different to someone 'just passing through'. I'd assume the sex tourist would fuck anyone who replied. They have a short period of time to find someone, so anything will do.
A local has no time limit and so is more likely to spend a bit of time sorting the meet.
Not always true or so black & white. But gut feel says so.
I'm not a man who would sleep with anyone who replies. If that was the case I could of done so by now.
I have to feel an attraction. And with me I usually stay in an area for two weeks at a time, so plenty of time and I message a week before arriving.
Waste of time though. I think I'll stick to bars.
"
You may well be a decent type. As I said there are exceptions.
If you are genuinely going to be there for a few weeks, change your location and postcode to the place. At least then you don't look like a sex tourist.
When you get chatting you can be honest about being a short term visitor.
Or... bars may be the best bet. It's often easier face to face. I find it difficult chatting via messages. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A one off with a local is different to someone 'just passing through'. I'd assume the sex tourist would fuck anyone who replied. They have a short period of time to find someone, so anything will do.
A local has no time limit and so is more likely to spend a bit of time sorting the meet.
Not always true or so black & white. But gut feel says so.
I'm not a man who would sleep with anyone who replies. If that was the case I could of done so by now.
I have to feel an attraction. And with me I usually stay in an area for two weeks at a time, so plenty of time and I message a week before arriving.
Waste of time though. I think I'll stick to bars.
You may well be a decent type. As I said there are exceptions.
If you are genuinely going to be there for a few weeks, change your location and postcode to the place. At least then you don't look like a sex tourist.
When you get chatting you can be honest about being a short term visitor.
Or... bars may be the best bet. It's often easier face to face. I find it difficult chatting via messages. "
I didn't know I could change my location. But can't see the point either, because women never message me who are in my area anyway lol.
Women are waiters men are chasers. |
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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago
The Land that time forgot (Norfolk) |
"A one off with a local is different to someone 'just passing through'. I'd assume the sex tourist would fuck anyone who replied. They have a short period of time to find someone, so anything will do.
A local has no time limit and so is more likely to spend a bit of time sorting the meet.
Not always true or so black & white. But gut feel says so.
I'm not a man who would sleep with anyone who replies. If that was the case I could of done so by now.
I have to feel an attraction. And with me I usually stay in an area for two weeks at a time, so plenty of time and I message a week before arriving.
Waste of time though. I think I'll stick to bars.
You may well be a decent type. As I said there are exceptions.
If you are genuinely going to be there for a few weeks, change your location and postcode to the place. At least then you don't look like a sex tourist.
When you get chatting you can be honest about being a short term visitor.
Or... bars may be the best bet. It's often easier face to face. I find it difficult chatting via messages.
I didn't know I could change my location. But can't see the point either, because women never message me who are in my area anyway lol.
Women are waiters men are chasers. "
I can understand the frustration as I was in your position once but there are plenty of women happy to meet people traveling through so it's worth persevering. Some women specifically prefer guys who aren't locals and seek them out, you just have to be the right guy in the right place at the right time. |
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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago
Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro |
I always read a guys profile look at pictures and verfications before reading a message. If I like the above then I'll read the message. If it's clear they havent looked at my profile then why would I look at their message.
But we are all different |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Read their profile, do everything they ask, put the correct word in the title, jump through all the hoops to satisfy their Insatiable egos for your message to be deleted without a second thought about your feelings, your hopes, your Aspirations, or you could just have a wank and have an early night, the decision is yours. |
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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago
Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro |
"Read their profile, do everything they ask, put the correct word in the title, jump through all the hoops to satisfy their Insatiable egos for your message to be deleted without a second thought about your feelings, your hopes, your Aspirations, or you could just have a wank and have an early night, the decision is yours. "
This.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My advice ..........only listen to advice from women and especially women of forums......... Women rule here so remember that and you will go far, we are (men) your competition we will be dishonourable and try and beat you to the post and the younger more handsome ones with abs, tatts, beards and largish appendages are first to be considered, it's about many things as to how successful you will be, personality and look count for a lot but also who you target and how you pursue them, some will cut you off as though you don't exist, some will welcome you initially then cut you adrift, some will read everything you say in the negative and some are just lovely, some want to meet you, some want to chat, some want a relationship or at least say they do but still play the field, some want local some dont, if you appeal you appeal, luck will play a big part in it, I wish you luck |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Read their profile, do everything they ask, put the correct word in the title, jump through all the hoops to satisfy their Insatiable egos for your message to be deleted without a second thought about your feelings, your hopes, your Aspirations, or you could just have a wank and have an early night, the decision is yours. "
I'm leaning more towards the W these days |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Agree about changing location,
If i get a message and they are miles away I automatically delete it,as it would appear unlikely we would meet."
so a bit of false advertising could do the trick |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My advice ..........only listen to advice from women and especially women of forums......... Women rule here so remember that and you will go far, we are (men) your competition we will be dishonourable and try and beat you to the post and the younger more handsome ones with abs, tatts, beards and largish appendages are first to be considered, it's about many things as to how successful you will be, personality and look count for a lot but also who you target and how you pursue them, some will cut you off as though you don't exist, some will welcome you initially then cut you adrift, some will read everything you say in the negative and some are just lovely, some want to meet you, some want to chat, some want a relationship or at least say they do but still play the field, some want local some dont, if you appeal you appeal, luck will play a big part in it, I wish you luck "
Thanks I need a lot of luck |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
It all depends on how you word your message.
I've had a few messages today, that have proven they haven't bothered to read my profile or decided just to ignore it completely.
They have no public pictures, but asked if I wanted to meet them as they were in Aberdeen today!
WTF, 1) Do all men presume women don't work? or 2) Do they not realise they have just made me feel like a free escort? Or 3) I will just meet or fuck anyone who asks?
I can never quite make up my mind if they are being incredibly insulting on purpose or if they really are just thick as fuck  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Treat this site like a bar and you will have similar luck. It's not a list of escorts contact details in a phone box.
Occasionally you will click with somebody if you be yourself and have fun on the forums. But mostly you won't click, just like in a bar.
People will get to know you if you chill and just have fun, on here and in bars, and ladies are more attracted to guys having fun.
That said, all girls are different as are all guys, and when the chemistry is right you both just know.
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"At this rate you’re gonna have to lower your standards. There’s a public toilet with a glory hole on the seafront.
I'm strictly fanny, mate, yeah - it’s a big hole in the ladies. "
last cubicle on the left. |
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"Agree about changing location,
If i get a message and they are miles away I automatically delete it,as it would appear unlikely we would meet.
so a bit of false advertising could do the trick "
Its not false if you are in that area,change it and pop a note explaining when you are visiting etc. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It all depends on how you word your message.
I've had a few messages today, that have proven they haven't bothered to read my profile or decided just to ignore it completely.
They have no public pictures, but asked if I wanted to meet them as they were in Aberdeen today!
WTF, 1) Do all men presume women don't work? or 2) Do they not realise they have just made me feel like a free escort? Or 3) I will just meet or fuck anyone who asks?
I can never quite make up my mind if they are being incredibly insulting on purpose or if they really are just thick as fuck "
Yes to all 3.
Did you meet them all?  |
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